Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Purgatory ❯ But I Need You ( Chapter 9 )

Nobody sees a flower, really. It is so small that it takes time. We haven't time and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.

           &nbs p;            --Georgia O'Keefe

It was around mid-morning by the time she finally left her temporary home. The air was crisp and cool and the temperature was punctuated by the icy pastels of the city. Aeris wrapped her cloak around herself, shivering in the pale morning light, her gaze shifting over the ghostly forms of the shell houses that once made up the abandoned capital. It struck her then, that the crumbling structures had once been someone's home. That this place that seemed so cold and lifeless to her, used to be alive. People used to work here, live here, have children here. They laughed and cried, made long term plans or no plans at all. It used to be welcoming, rather than foreboding.

She could imagine an ancient traveler smiling upon seeing the bright lights of this city when lighted and alive. That time was well and gone now. The only thing that filled it was a score of difficult monsters...and Aeris paused to wonder again. Taking a step and looking around, taking another and another until she moved in measured strides across the city. There were no monsters. She hadn't noticed it before because she was so wrapped up in dreaming. Where had they gone? It was a stupid question but one that had a rather simple answer. She hadn't done anything, therefore the only other person in the city had. Sephiroth had cleared it. Aeris couldn't imagine he'd done it for her, but he had done it and she had benefited from it.

It wasn't evidence of a change, but it was something she felt she could use to start conversation. Half of her nervousness of him came from the fact that she didn't really know what to say to him. This would be something she could use to start a conversation. Perhaps invite him to dinner or something, to thank him for what he'd done, however unintentional it had been. Even in her head it sounded stupid, but the wall that was between them had to be breached or they'd never get anything done. They'd just continue on like this, keeping each other at arm's length. Pretending like the other person was a non-entity. It wasn't like she wanted to be his best friend, but despite her reluctance...she was willing to concede that he couldn't guard her very well if they never spent a moment together. Aeris frowned. Gods above this situation was a test of her patience. She swore that somehow, somewhere--someone was having a very good time with all of this. Laughing their asses off at the pickle they'd put her in. She hated this. Tightening her hold on his cloak, she was determined and would not be put off by anything. Not by him.  Not by her fear.

She had always prided herself on being the one able to start the unstartable conversation. Cloud had been a test of that skill but the final exam had to be Sephiroth. Who seemed to fashion being taciturn into an art. There was little for them to talk about, true.. and this did lead to awkward silences but she'd have to forge past that. Well, that and the fact that they'd gotten off on the wrong foot and she still had a healthy amount of fear of him....okay, it was more like stark, abject terror. And as she moved through the silent city, she could have socked herself in the face. What the hell was she doing? What was she even going to say to him?

Each footstep brought her closer and with each footstep she tried to think of what she'd say. Tried to go slower to delay the inevitable. The sun had moved higher in the sky, the cold pastels of morning giving way to the warmer light of the afternoon. Aeris was stalling for time searching the shell houses for him. She still hadn't thought of what she'd say to him while she prodded herself to just get it over with. Fear and loathing raged inside of her and neither one seemed to be winning. Boredom broke in and Aeris abandoned the idea that he might be hiding anywhere else but the ancient machine.

Her feet turned down the road that lead to the machine....it was an odd sensation, but she felt like she wasn't walking at all. That she was being pulled along, even though she knew very well that she wasn't. As quiet as she could, she entered the chamber and despite her efforts to conceal her presence, her footfalls still echoed loudly in the still silence.

Aeris was painfully aware of the sound and tensed as she scanned the room. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid. She whispered it, hoping to draw strength for those words. The oracle glowed brightly, illuminating the dark chamber with dim, indigo light. Her night vision had always been terrible and she had a hard time seeing much of anything. She felt suddenly very small and vulnerable, and the kind of terror she thought was reserved for horror movies rose in her. Though what she was afraid of, even she wasn't sure. A monster? A man? The Creeping Terror from Outer Space? She didn't know. She just wished...she wished she wasn't here. She wished she were braver. She wished that things hadn't turned out like this.

And then she saw him...and the sight made her gasp in surprise. He sat serenely in front of the oracle, his form obliterated by the light that faded and revealed him. She couldn't see his face as he was turned to gaze at the oracle and not the entrance to the chamber. He sat cross-legged on the floor, his back ramrod straight as his hands rested in his lap--limp and relaxed. She dared to come closer, carefully picking her way across the oracle's walkway until she was on the platform with him only a few feet away. Another step forward, Aeris breathed in deeply, feeling very much like she was a little kid, stealing cookie dough from the bowl when her mother wasn't looking. That was when she tripped over something and nearly stumbled into his back. She stopped herself before anything happened, gasping at the sounds of clattering rocks and her own harsh breathing.

Aeris froze, waiting for him to turn around and glare at her. After a beat or two, when he did nothing, she resumed breathing again and looked down at what she'd tripped over. It was the pack she'd given him. She bent down to examine it, pulling open the drawstring to stare in wonder at what she'd found, the only thing that had been touched were the rations but the clothes and the shampoo stared back at her, obviously unused. Slowly, she turned her head and narrowed her eyes incredulously as she scrutinized him.

This close, she could see now that he hadn't changed out of the clothes he wore five weeks ago. They'd been cleaned, that much was clear, but they were the very same. His hair was mud free, but still rumpled and looking like it hadn't been combed in nearly forever. He hadn't accepted her gift. Should she be surprised? She was and it puzzled her. Even more puzzling was that she was actually kind of angry. Clasping the cloak she'd brought him tightly in her hands, she wondered if he'd refuse it as well. Damn him. She was trying, damn it. And he hadn't done a thing to make this situation better. Not one thing. The minor technicality of him clearing the city of monsters didn't enter into her mind at this point. She couldn't be bothered with facts. Already, their second meeting was coming off badly and neither had yet said a word to the other.

It didn't occur to Aeris that he hadn't accepted the gift because he felt unworthy of it. Didn't enter her mind that he might have been going through the same things she had. That he might have succumbed to despair as well. He refused a gift, but she'd refused him altogether. None of this came to mind, not even as an afterthought. In her mind, all she saw was his rejection of her kindness because he hated her. Ignoring the fact that she was the one who'd done the majority of the hating since they'd gotten there. All she knew was her own hurt, which she unwisely swallowed, thinking it better to put it behind her rather than examine it. She forged ahead and tried not to be annoyed by the fact that she felt like she was the only one trying.

Shuffling closer to him, she reached out and lightly shook his shoulder. It took every ounce of bravery in her to do that. She was shaking all over and her hands nervously played with the fabric of his cape. As before, there was no reaction and she fidgeted. Half aggravated, half terrified beyond reason. Why did he have to make things so difficult?

She leaned forward and unconsciously spoke out loud as she went to shake him again, "Why can't you just wake up?"

Before she reached his shoulder, he stirred and she snatched her hand away. He stood to his full height, his back still to her and without thinking she backed away slightly. He tottered on his feet, swaying back and forth unsteadily. She watched, fascinated by the display of the humanity she had been convinced he didn't have. He had been in some sort of deep meditative state and was still a bit groggy as he turned around and faced her. Another surprised gasp left her lips.  In the half-light of the chamber his features softened, and his body was relaxed--free of its normal tension that made him so stiffly formal and intimidating. She didn't feel anxious or worried now. There was a peace that seemed to emanate off him as he stood there, with a look of utter contentment on his face, his hair glowing an ethereal white by the light of the oracle. Looking like that, he was almost approachable.

Aeris was no longer in retreat and made a tentative step forward. He yawned, finally noticing her from her slight movement, looking down at her blearily. She was shocked; not just by the yawn but by how tired he looked. Dark circles were set underneath his eyes, the telltale bruises made by pushing the limits of one's body and lack of sleep. Lines of fatigue crept into his face and he looked a bit pale, though it was hard to tell in the dim light. All the same. She knew exhaustion when she saw it. All of this together served to make him seem more human, less like a cold, marble stone. Her mantra earlier now seemed silly and childish. Did she really have anything to be afraid of? What was she scared of anyway? Recognition filled his eyes and he finally saw her, tilting his head as if deeply confused.

"What do you want?" He asked in almost innocent bewilderment, and his voice registered the emotion.

Aeris gave a start and was only able to stare at him dumbly as the shock at hearing him actually emote registered. She had only ever heard echoes of emotion from him, overtones of feeling that could very well be manufactured from her own imagination. But she hadn't imagined this. His voice had always been flat and colorless, like he was bored with the world. The voice he'd just spoke in seemed more boyish, more human. It was the most emotion she'd ever heard from him and what shocked her further was that emotion had been confusion. She simply had a hard time believing her ears.

The Sephiroth she knew was NEVER confused or unsure. Of course, it wasn't like she could claim to know him that well but still. The man they'd chased three years ago always seemed so confident, he'd never faltered. Even when Avalanche got the upper hand, he still remained unruffled and his goal never wavered. To hear uncertainty from the lips of someone who'd previously only spoken with authority was astounding. Nothing short of unbelievable. In her shock, she failed to notice him approaching her as his head cleared, nor did she register the unmistakable annoyance on his face. He stared down at her, his arms crossed as he waited for her to wake from her self-induced coma and each minute he waited, he became more annoyed. Frowning, he snapped his fingers in her face, startling her out of her shock.

"I asked you a question..." He said, his normal cold tone returning.

"Oh....yeah...sorry..."

Aeris paused to gather her thoughts, finding the words she practiced had fled...finding it hard to even speak. Her nervousness returned and she secretly wished...wondered that if he'd step back a little, it might make it easier to think but she was too afraid to ask. Somehow, he must have sensed her discomfort...more likely, he was just uncomfortable himself, he stepped back slightly and gave her more breathing room. It didn't help much. She would open her mouth to say something, only to close it moments later.

Every time she tried to begin, she'd have to end it because everything that she thought of sounded stupid or childish and she couldn't bear to show him how nervous he made her. She just knew she'd end up rambling on and on like a complete moron, babbling like a useless child and she wanted so much to sound like she knew what she was doing. Like she had a clue what was going on. What made things worse was that he was clearly becoming impatient with her. It only fueled her nervousness and made it harder for her to think. This was doing her no good. She closed her eyes and took a very deep breath, preparing to begin again. It didn't matter if it sounded stupid, she just had to tell him what she knew.

"I came to t-tell you...I know what we have to do now..." She said with a firm nod, with a smile that wasn't entirely forced.

"How wonderful....for us." He interjected, his tone was calculatedly slow, his words sharp, sarcastic barbs, meant to drag across the skin.

Her smiled faded and she stammered, "W-well....yes, technically, it's not so much us as me....but...um...I was -ho-h-hoping...I mean, I came to ask if maybe you could...um...maybe...I was wondering, if you could h-help...because I could use...help..."

"Mmmmhmmm..." He grunted languorously and he looked away from her, as if he had no interest in what she was saying at all and was merely listening so she'd go away, "So, you're asking for a favor?"

"Y-yeah...kind of..."

"Kind of? Are you or aren't you?"

"Yes. I need a favor." She said quietly.

He grunted as a reply and she took this as permission to continue.

"Can I show you something?"

He snorted and shrugged dismissively, rolling his eyes, "Why not?"

She was trying her best to ignore the glib comments and the general sarcastic attitude he was giving her but it was becoming very, very hard. Some of her joy faded but she put everything she had into keeping her spirits up. She led him to the cloister, counting the pillars till she came to the sixth one. Stopping in front of it, she ran her hands over the wall, searching for the indentation she'd seen in her vision. Her fingers ran over the surface and where they touched, they left small trails of light. She felt light headed, the magic behind the door entered through her hand and she could feel it twisting through her...up her arm, past her shoulder, dispersing through the rest of her body. Whatever lay beyond was a well of power.

She was now attuned to it as the planet's song rose within her and she filtered the power back into the wall. Forming mandalas from the absent trails she made earlier. They danced across the wall, appearing and disappearing. She stepped back to observe them as they moved and transformed over the surface. Closing her eyes, she could feel the magic she'd activated, petitioning it to show her what she wanted to see. The mandalas lit brightly and once she opened her eyes, they swirled with purpose. It was the most beautiful thing she'd seen and she smiled serenely, glancing over at Sephiroth. He watched the wall with a blank look on his face, as if he'd seen something like this a thousand times before. His arms were still crossed, his head titled slightly, like he was waiting in line at the bank. Aeris cocked her head, searching his face for even a hint of wonder. How could anyone be that joyless?

He felt her eyes on him and it made him uncomfortable, for reasons he was unable to explain. Aeris could see this but made no move to relieve his discomfort. He glared at her, meeting her gaze and piercing it with his own. She'd made it so easy for him to frighten her that he was fairly surprised by the fact that his glare did nothing to deter her this time. She didn't immediately look away, holding his eyes with her own. Searching, she was searching for that scrap of humanity she'd seen in him earlier and something in her wouldn't be satisfied until she found it. And there was something...a bright, brief flicker...that was gone as quickly as it came. She barely had time to see it at all before he broke eye contact, turning his gaze as far from hers as he could.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"....s-sorry."

Silence draped over them as the light coalesced to illuminate the materia shaped slot in the wall and Aeris smiled. She'd found it, it was actually there and she ran a hand over it to confirm it. The light rippled at her touch. It was real and she could only smile wider. Curiosity finally got the better of Sephiroth. He'd been trying to remain aloof and disinterested but he was impressed and awed by the lights. It was spiteful, but he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of his wonder, it was bad enough she'd seen him when he first woke. He stepped closer to the wall, and in doing so, came closer to her. His shoulder just brushing against hers, she could feel his warmth through the brief contact. It was odd to be that close to him and she tried to make herself smaller, shying away from him. If he noticed, he didn't show it, instead he scrutinized the indent, eyes narrowing as he gave it his full attention. The furious pace of his thought was obvious, his mind an efficient machine built for quick calculation. She could almost see the gears in his head as they spun swiftly.

"This is what you wanted to show me." He stated flatly, stepping back but still regarding the wall with a shrewd gaze, "What is it?"

"A keyhole."

He looked over at her in a businesslike manner, his face indicating he was carefully considering her words. Coming to some kind of decision, he turned back and stared at the indent.

"Rather odd shape for a keyhole." He observed it further, cocking his head in thought before mumbling softly,   "Looks like a materia slot..."

She realized that last bit was mostly said to himself, but she answered anyway, "Because it is."

"Huh." he nodded slowly before looking down at her a bit disdainfully, "So what does this have to do with me?"

"Everything, actually."

He grunted, "Wonderful. So...."

"So?"

"What is this favor you have to ask?" He replied, drawing his words out languidly, as if he were too tired to say them.

"Like I said, it's a materia slot but not an ordinary one. My people used materia for many things before...This slot is a keyhole for a hidden doorway..." She trailed off.

And he completed her thought, both unaware of the momentary connection of their thoughts, "...That only opens when a piece of materia is inserted."

"Yes."

"Clever. How exactly are we supposed to open it? I have no materia...unless you have some tucked away that I don't know about ..." He glanced over at her, and she shook her head, "Well, then I'd say we're fairly screwed."

"Even if we had materia with us, it wouldn't open it. It takes a special kind..."

"That we don't have. The situation hasn't changed."

"Yes, we don't have it, yet....but...we will. It's right here, in this city."

"Where?"

"It's in the underground part of the city, just below the altar."

"Below it? In the water?" He asked, incredulously.

"Yeah, that's what I came to ask you about. I'd get it myself, but I'm not a very strong swimmer and it's deep...and I was wondering..."

He knew this was coming and rolled his eyes again as he finished her sentence, "...If I'd dive down to the bottom of an ice cold lake to retrieve this materia for you..." 

"It's not just any materia. It's the white materia...and yeah...I was kind of wondering if you might....would you? Please?"

He paused and pursed his lips as he made her wait for an answer. It was peevish and cruel, but he felt that she deserved as much for making him wait. The last five weeks had been dull and filled with nothing but despondent thought about his situation. His only comfort had been this oracle, as it allowed him to better contact the planet. Which he was delighted to finally be able to speak with, exploiting his new ability as much as possible. He sincerely believed he would have gone nuts again if it hadn't been for the scattered conversations he'd had with the planet. Though now he finally understood the words Ifalna has used in the lifestream when she'd saved his soul from destruction. Indulgencia Per Modum Sufragii. Kindness by way of suffering. He did wonder about the kindness part because the last five weeks were hardly what he'd call kind. At least she got the suffering part right. He let the girl stew for a moment longer before finishing his thought.

"No."

"What?"

He looked at her blandly, noting the gap mouthed look of surprise on her pretty face. Shrugging, he shook his head as if that explained it all, "No."

"B-but...We're supposed to work together!"

"Yes, and we've worked together so well the last five weeks. What was it you were doing all this time?" He said, laughing bitterly, every word dripping with sarcasm. "Wait. I know. Dreaming of your little blond boyfriend, instead of finding a way out of this damned city."

He'd often thought about her during the last five weeks. Though he didn't care for the girl much, he took his duty seriously. Half the time, when he was communing with the planet, it was to keep an eye on her without bothering her with his presence. And the planet had been quite helpful, and talkative. It mentioned that it felt her to be wasting time, it told him what she'd been doing all this time. Not in so many words. It had indicated she was daydreaming and this was why they were still trapped here...Of course, it had also prodded him to make a move, to offer to help. But he was above begging that shrew for forgiveness that she wasn't going to give. This was all her fault; he had no hand in it at all. She was the one daydreaming and wasting time....and there was only one thing he knew she'd be daydreaming about. That idiot puppet, Strife. Judging by her reaction, he was correct. Her face contorted and the anger she hid so well surged forward.

"You leave him out of this...and I'm not the only one who could have figured out....something." She stammered, knowing very well that there was no way he'd know how to get out of the city. There were her visions that lead them, after all but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of being right, "What the hell were you doing all this time?"

"Waiting for you."

"...Yeah, well." She was grasping at straws now, becoming defensive now that she clearly had no leg to stand on, "Well, you said you'd help!"

"I said no such thing. You assumed."

"You could do SOMETHING to help things along, instead of being an arrogant bastard all the time. Would it kill you to try?!!!"

"No, would it kill you?"

"I HAVE TRIED!..."

"Yes, you've tried real hard to pretend I don't exist, to put off your duty for as long as possible while you daydream, leaving me to rot. Then you waltz in here and act like I should be grateful to you for condescending to acknowledge my presence....and you call me arrogant." He stopped, letting that one sink in. Smiling when she didn't have an immediate answer before launching into her again, he spoke in rapid-fire succession, his words picked for their clear efficiency,  "So... you say jump and I say how high, is that it? How very convenient for you. And when you don't need me, you can just forget and ignore my existence, until you're ready to use me again. Sorry to disappoint, sweetheart, but it doesn't work that way."

"You're my guardian! You're--"

"What? Your errand boy?" He paused, his jade eyes narrowing darkly as he leaned forward, "Definition. Guardian. Noun. One who guards, preserves, or secures; one to whom any person or thing is committed to for protection, security, or preservation from injury. Adjective. Providing protective supervision; watching over or safeguarding. I believe I sufficiently understand my duty and as this task doesn't entail protecting you, I hardly see how it concerns me. You want your little bauble. Get it yourself." He sneered, standing with perfect, still smugness, arms crossed defiantly.

She blinked away her tears and the rage that fueled their passage. Hating the fact that his words had some truth in them. It was like a bright lance to her heart to have him point out that she'd been incredibly insensitive. She was embarrassed and ashamed but at the same time, she'd rather poke out her own eyes with a dull pair of scissors than admit that he was right. It was outrageously crazy that things had turned out like this...this...this is what she had wanted to avoid. In her head it had worked out so well, she should have known that dreams and reality have nothing to do with each other. Dreaming was all she'd been doing. Even now. He had killed her joy...no, no, NO, she'd killed it. By assuming that he'd care, she'd killed it. By ignoring the rift between them and not fixing it earlier, when it wouldn't have been so impossible to patch up, she'd allowed it to wither and die. So, it was to be the clearly defined roles of summoner and guardian. She'd have to fulfill the parts of this mission that were hers, and he'd fulfill his. Namely, protecting her. Nothing more, nothing less. So be it. She didn't need his help anyway.

"Fine." She said coolly, balling up his cloak and throwing it in his face, "I should have known I couldn't count on you." And with that last little barb, she stormed off.

He wasn't about to let her leave without a word. She nearly froze as she heard his voice call out behind her.

"ENJOY YOUR SWIM!"

She shouted back as she exited the oracle, tears stinging at her eyes, "SCREW YOU!"

Aeris turned her back on him, wiping fiercely at the tears that collected at the edges of her eyes. She'd wasted too many tears on that man. Forging past her heartache, she left the oppressive dark of the oracle chamber and emerged into the bright cheer of the afternoon sun. It had made the peak of its journey and sat in the heavenly blue sky, an effulgent orb that mocked her with its cheeriness. The rays that unfurled from it brushed the roads and the buildings of the city a high contrast white that made them seem to almost glow. She squinted her eyes against the brilliance as she walked away from the oracle and towards the entrance to the underground city.

All the time, she tried not to reflect on all that was said but she couldn't help it. The argument turned over and over again in her head, like a skipping record. His sharp, cold voice and the clear reasonability of his argument hunted down and struck out at her feeble excuses for why she'd done what she'd done. She had ignored him. She had wanted to pretend he wasn't here. And she had been wasting time dreaming of Cloud. Damn him, for being right. For seeing clearly when she did not.

The less stubborn part of her felt guilty and prodded her to go back and apologize for treating him like a commodity. Elmyra had always told her the best revenge was treating an enemy like a friend. Showing kindness when none was given. But it wasn't fair this time! He hadn't even given her a chance to explain...she'd given him a chance, hadn't she? Again, the damned honesty of her character didn't let her own thoughts worm away with that excuse. She had to be truthful with herself... Ignoring someone for five weeks was hardly giving them a chance to do anything.

This was stupid. Things had gotten so messed up that she was now unsure of what she ought to do. No apology would fix this, no rambling explanation. It was too late for all of that. At this point, it was best to keep things simple. He wasn't going to help her, unless it was specifically a part of his duty. Therefore, it was up to her to solve things. They'd never leave this city if she didn't do what had to be done. It was well and truly time for her to grow up and stop dreaming.

Her feet crunched on the dusty ground, grinding her path into the worn dirt. They echoed through space and time, trailing backwards through the sand. Each step forward was one step back. Still, she plunged on, forging ahead and leaving him behind her. Going from darkness to light to darkness again, her bright red cloak billowing out behind her determined form. Signaling no defeat but neither did it claim victory.

Would this be the dawning of her new life, a constant state of stalemate? To walk alone as she had before, heart shadowed by unanswered desire and always praying for what was beyond her grasp. She begged and hoped for a different path but always it seemed she ended up here. A trail of empty dust made of her broken dreams. Her heart thudded in her chest; each step down the spiraling staircase of light was a counterpoint to its rhythm.

She sat down hard on the spiraling staircase before her legs collapsed beneath her, holding her head in her hands as she shook. Tears wetting her face, drowning her in an ocean of her own sorrow. She allowed herself this one moment of weakness now that she was out of Sephiroth's sight. But she was so sick of crying.

Once she'd spent that coin, she wiped away the trails and continued downward until she reached the altar and the lake that surrounded it. Just on the other side of the altar she could see a thin column of light that shone straight up, it was a beacon to help her find the white materia. She stared at it in wonder for a moment, letting her eyes follow the light upwards, stopping where it hit the ceiling. Cold determination filled her and she tore her gaze away and began to strip down. Leaving on her camisole and underwear, she wasn't without shame and though she knew better, there was a voice in the back of her head that worried that man might follow and be watching her. She neatly folded her clothes and left them on the altar before hopping down to the shore.

Experimentally, she touched the water's surface with one toe. It was beyond freezing, so cold that it was painful and she quickly pulled her toe back. For a moment, that decisive pride of hers balked and she considered going back. But if she went back she'd have to beg and she wouldn't beg...not to him. Aeris stood at the water's edge, going over her options. Trying to convince herself to just go in, but it was difficult. The more practical side of her thought it was much too cold to enter. She bit her lip and let it flick between her teeth while she thought. After a beat, she stuck her tongue out and raspberried that sensible voice, setting one foot into the frigid water.

She gasped, sucking in air as the cold needled her flesh. Aeris closed her eyes and took a deep breath, plunging her other foot in. With deliberate calm, she slowly entered the water until she was neck deep. She held back the gasps and whimpers of discomfort, swallowing whatever pain she felt as the cold stole her warmth away. It didn't matter that she felt numb all over already; all that mattered was getting the materia. With a deep breath, she dove underwater and swam for the shaft of light.  She could feel her limbs stiffen from the cold and she surged forward, ears popping as she entered deeper water. Her hair fanned out, swooping weightlessly behind her with every stroke. Eyes wide open, trained on the blurry light in front of her that was so close. She kicked down hard, almost ignoring how numb her body felt when the need for air struck.

 It was a burning sensation in her lungs and though she was so close, within five feet of it but it was agony to stay down any longer. She pushed up desperately, lungs on fire, wondering if she'd ever reach the surface. It looked so far away. She broke it with a harsh gasp, coughing and sputtering as she tread water. Her teeth chattered and she could barely feel her body but there was a fire inside her now. She wouldn't quit, she wouldn't give up. Not until she had that materia in her hand. She plunged down again. And again. And again. And again. Each time, she came just a little bit closer but never quite enough.

When she finally left the water, cold and trembling, her lips a dark purple, her skin tinted blue, it was with a renewed sense of pride. This was her duty, her task to finish and by god, she'd do it and a new dream was born. She stumbled out of the water and back onto the altar, wrapping herself in her cloak to warm up before pulling on her clothes sluggishly. They clung to her damp skin but she was beyond caring. She'd worked hard today, nothing much mattered beyond that, shuffling out of the underground and into the city above she smiled tiredly. Satisfied with today's efforts. Cold and exhausted, her feet moved of their own accord, leading her back home out of instinct, towards her bed and sleep.

As she neared the residential section of the city and her own little home away from home, she noted the sun had begun to set. She'd spent nearly the whole day below the city. The sky was strafed with color, purples, golds and oranges. It was a serene end to a stressful day and much appreciated. Just as she felt her spirits lift, they were abruptly smacked down.

"Have a nice swim?"

She bristled at the sound of that cold, hard voice, which she'd come to hate beyond all reason. Her temper rose but she quashed it, not wanting him to see how much he truly irritated her. She turned until she saw the voice's owner. He was perched atop one of the shell houses, sitting on it cross-legged with an arrogant smirk on his face that was all too familiar. Looking down at her with imperturbable disdain, head resting in his hand, he waited for his answer, amused at her agitation.

"Yes, very refreshing." She answered through gritted teeth; glaring back at him and wishing wholeheartedly that she could pop his head like a grape with mind bullets.

"Hmm. Glad to hear it. So...did you get it?"

"No."

"Too bad. Better luck next time..."

This was too much. Her jaw tightened and with surprising speed, she dipped down and grabbed a stone from off the road. Whipping it at him as hard as she could, aiming for his head. He caught it one handed and with that irritatingly supercilious smirk, he laughed at her. Her face flushed with anger and she fumed inside, shaking with palpable rage. Eyes narrowed to fine, green slits, she turned her back on him, cape twirling behind her. She strode away from him, keeping her pace even to mask the fury she felt within. It wasn't until she was sure he wasn't behind her that she broke into an all out run. She hated him. She hated him so damn much. Once she got home, she threw herself on the bed and wept again. Crying herself asleep, too exhausted from the day to do much else.

That night, her dreams were born anew. Rising from the ashes like the phoenix. They were dreams of finding the white materia, lighting the watchtower and leaving her bastard guardian to rot in the city. If only she could see the look on his face when he figured out she left. This new dream drove her, pushed her constantly forward. With it, started a new daily ritual, an add-on to her normal routine. From that day forward, she'd wake early in the morning the get her daily chores done. About mid-afternoon, she'd strike out for the underground city and spend four to six hours a day diving down in the frigid lake attempting to reach the white materia, which she jokingly referred to as "bobbing for materia".

She got closer each day as her body became used to the activity but she was still a long ways off from retrieving it.  This didn't matter to her. Sooner or later she'd get it, even if it took the rest of her second life. Her determination never wavered, despite Sephiroth's attempts to squelch it. She now saw him everyday. No matter what road she took, he was always there, waiting for her with a smirk. Everyday, it was the same thing.

"Have a nice swim!"

"Screw You!"

Then swim for a few hours, get out.

"Find it yet?"

"No." and just for good measure, "SCREW YOU!"

Then sleep and wake up to do it all over again.

If anything, this daily annoyance only served to light a fire underneath her. Making her furiously work for her victory so that she could rub it in his face. A month had already passed, which soon became two and Aeris had gotten used to the routine by now. She'd ceased to answer his caustic questions and no longer felt compelled to allow him to get under her skin. "Have a nice swim!" was now answered with a coolly regal glare, her head held high in defiance. She'd show him. After awhile, it worked. He stopped asking her questions altogether, instead he just watched her, arms crossed. The smirk was still there but she noted it lacked the vigor it had before. That fact alone resurrected her joy.

It was odd, but time seemed to be passing faster. Where there were once endless days that seemed to stretch on forever, now there were but fleeting moments. Each day had its routine but there was never the boredom she felt before. She had a real purpose, not just dreams. The world turned and time turned with it and soon three full months had passed since she'd awoken on the altar and she reflected on how much had changed and how much hadn't.

It was another night in the long history of the world and Aeris looked up at the sky. Another day where she exhausted herself beneath the city but the effort only made her feel more alive. Invigorating her, the tiredness she felt was the kind born of hard work. Looking out of her bedroom window, she gazed at the stars. By their position in the sky, she guessed it was August now.

By this third month, she rarely saw Sephiroth anymore. The game he played with her must have lost its appeal now that she no longer responded to it. She was no closer to retrieving the white materia but she was working on it. Getting better everyday. 

Picking out the constellations from her window ensconced in deep thought, her eyes reflecting the stars dreamily. She'd seen him today. First time in two weeks. She'd been startled by his sudden reappearance. He'd gone from being absent to a constant figure in her daily routine to a lurking presence that she knew was there but never saw, until now. She'd jumped in fright, frozen to the spot as she stared at him with wide eyes. He stared back calmly, imperceptibly tilting his head and narrowing his eyes at her. Looking at her like he was contemplating something of great import. It unnerved her and she gave him a strange look before quickly shuffling past him. Pausing to give him a last backwards glance. He said nothing, just continued to gaze at her as she retreated, his eyes glazed in deep thought.

She'd pushed the encounter to the furthest part of her mind. There was too much to do. After bobbing for materia, she was more concerned with warming her frozen body, followed by a good meal...and perhaps sweet, sweet blessed sleep. These were on the forefront and having accomplished the first two, she'd go about complete the last task. So here she was, staring out her bedroom window lost in thought. It had always been easier for her to think at night. The day was always too busy and filled with lists of things to do. In the dark, there was nothing to do but sleep and that could always be put off a few minutes for a bit of self-reflection. She'd come to the great, obvious conclusion that she didn't understand him. Perhaps it was better that she didn't....but a scared silent part of her wished she did.

The stars in the sky twinkled and she felt an odd sense of sorrow encompass her. In the dark it was okay for her to admit there was a part of her that wasn't angry with him anymore. Well, not for the fight they had before. She was still angry at him for that other thing ...and there was a wish that was tangled up in all of that....a wish that she could fix things, some magical cure that would make things not weird. She really could use his help but as stubborn as she was, she'd never ask him. Day after day she toiled and she never came any closer. Sure, she wouldn't give up but how long would it take? The planet might die before she'd even managed to retrieve the white materia. What would she do then? The responsibility for completing this mission lay on her shoulders and she was failing miserably. She admitted quietly that she cut a pretty bad figure as far as leaders went.

All this was a mostly unacknowledged opinion that had formed over the last few weeks. Seeing him that afternoon had only jumpstarted her thoughts, bringing forward these dark doubts. In-between her vindictive imaginings, she found herself constantly questioning her judgment. The one thought she had turned over a thousand times and had never found a sufficient answer for tormented her. Why had she picked Sephiroth as a guardian? She had come to accept, begrudgingly, that she'd chosen him. The evidence was too clear. It wasn't so much the how of her choice that bothered her anymore, it was why, and she couldn't figure it out. There was no manipulation on his part; she'd even accepted that part of it, as insane as it sounded. Was there some kind of sick, masochistic streak in her that she wasn't aware she had, a desire to punish herself for some real or perceived sin?

Aeris flopped down on her bed, first staring at the ceiling before turning over to stare emptily at the moon out her window. It cast shadows over her skin. With a sigh, she gazed at her arm, as it lay bathed in moonlight. Delicate skin painted pastel blue tracing the trails of her veins over her skin. Her eyes drifted closed, watery light rippling on the surface of night's black splendor. A quiet smile graced her face as she let sleep take her. Painting her dreams on sleep's dark canvas, letting the watercolor images form in her mind. Shutting the world out, she retreated to her interior world, reading back the gospel of her dreams. Where she knew the whys and the wherefores and no matter how little sense things made, there was always some meaning in them.

Of all the souls in heaven, she chose Sephiroth. He'd manifested no signs of the homicidal maniac he'd been before. He was mean, rude and just plain impossible to deal with, but definitely not crazy. Her mind still groped for answers. Sane or no, it made no logical sense to choose him over all others. She could think of two other souls who'd have been far better choices than him. Why hadn't she chosen them?

She could have picked Tseng--her childhood friend and in her adult life, a man who hunted and protected her at the same time. He'd been as good a friend as he could, watching her back from within. Doing all he could to keep her out of Shinra hands. Conversation wise, Tseng would be no better than Sephiroth. He'd always been quiet but his company was certainly more welcome and less fear inducing.

Then there was her ex-boyfriend, Zack. Why not him? Sure, they hadn't always gotten along. He was a philanderer and could sometimes be a loud, insensitive jerk but he was also funny and kind, a loveable goofball that was fun to have around. Her mind turned on itself. Instead, she chose Sephiroth. Cold. Unfeeling. Inhuman. Malicious. Vindictive. Cruel. Did she mention cold? Why? Why had she chosen him?

It had come to her attention that she'd lost quite a bit more of her memory than she'd previously thought. Was there something there that she'd forgotten? Something that'd give her a clue to why she made her choice the way she did? She needed a reason, needed to believe there was a reason. Invisible fingers paged through the files of her memory. Pulling the fragmented pieces of a night long past. A night much like this one. Moonlit and star filled, darkness just barely pierced by a sliver of pale light. A confession in the gloom of her church, flowers bobbing back and forth to their own lullaby. Two faded figures, barely illuminated in the dark, shaded silhouettes outlined by a thin rim of moonlight. All blurred, a bleak Mobius strip that went round and round with no visible end. Moving flecks of color, figures made of dots and lines, nothing more. They'll only stand out if you back away a little. She told herself.

Soft voices spoke in hushed whispers as she backed away. Speaking of things to come, things that are, and things that have always been because of what had to happen. Nightmares realized. Dreams come true. A selfless sacrifice and the absolution sought through twin prayers from separate lips. Her dream-self stepped back further to get a better view. The flecks of color merged into a picture, a painting. No longer just blobs of nothingness that made no sense. The figures cleared as the shifting color took shape. The sinner and the saint. Martyr and murderer. An artistic tableau overused by so many pretentious art school students that she wanted to puke. Another copy of a great master's work, a religious icon to be worshiped and eventually hung in some art museum somewhere. She squinted--the picture blurred and cleared. Blurred and cleared...blurring...Was this a memory? Or was it a dream? Maybe, this was reality, like the old brainteaser. Was she a butterfly dreaming she was human or a human dreaming she was a butterfly?

She opened her mind to languid thought, allowing the memory to creep forward. Shattering the hollow lies she told herself since the beginning and surrendering to pure vision. The image cleared and she saw herself at sixteen, moonlight shining in naked, silver shafts. Someone lay in her lap...ethereal and pale... still in soft focus, she tried to clear the vision, to pull it forward. Floating inside herself, she struggled with the memory trying to hack through the shadows that consumed it. She had to see. The bright, clear sting of cold water hitting warm flesh broke apart her dream and rendered her efforts futile. Whatever answer she sought receded into the water like fine morning mist dissipating upon sunup.

The sun had come up and its first rays crept into the room like a silent intruder, bearing away the night. She tried to stumble back into sleep and find that scrap of memory she lacked. Just as she settled back another drop of water hit her cheek. Then another hit and another and another. She shook her head with a muffled grunt and stirred in her sleep. Her groggy mind filled in the blanks, fitting information together. Water plus dripping plus roof with holes equals it's raining and the roof leaks. She had been sure that her house had an intact roof but what did she know? Maybe it wasn't as solid as she'd thought it was.

She heard the dry rustle of fabric. Was someone else here? Ridiculous. Another drip hit her wrist. She whined incoherently, a high mewling noise that came from her throat, demonstrating her anger at being disturbed. She wanted to sleep, damn it and then she heard the rustle again. Mom? No...couldn't be...She was too tired for mystery, so she ignored the stupid rustle. Probably just the roof cracking before it collapsed on her. As long as it didn't interrupt her sleep, she didn't care. Several more drops of water hit her face and chest and she shifted, raising a hand to limply hit at the air. Stupid water! Something cold and wet was gently placed in the palm of her right hand. She groaned and curled her fingers around the smooth surface, not really registering what it was. Had the roof caved in on her?

"Oh....God..." was what she meant to say, but in the world between sleep and wakefulness it came out slurred, sounding more like, "Awnnnnnnhhhh.... gaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh..."

She forced her eyes open, her vision still blurred by sleep's heavy dew. Blinking slowly, the world came into hazy focus. In the still morn, she could hear quiet breathing that was not her own and there was a presence not far off. Fabric rustled a third time and the presence moved away. Footsteps carrying them to the door, where they stopped. Through the fine mesh of her eyelashes, she could see a blurred figure pause at the doorway and before she got a sense of who it was, they disappeared. The door downstairs slammed not long after and she bolted upright at the sound, heart jack hammering. She was fully awake now and shaking, looking around the room wildly to see if there was anything out of place. Hand to her fluttering heart, she let out a high, hysterical laugh. There was nothing here.

"That was one hell of a dream..." She thought, looking down curiously at her chest. Her fingers had hit something wet....

Aeris held her hand up to her eyes. Water. Touching a hand to the front of her camisole, parts of it were damp. Her cheeks were moist as well. She touched her face and wiped it away. The pattern was irregular, as if someone had held a sopping wet towel and wrung it out over her head. She turned her head to look out the window, no rain. The sky was deliriously blue, the sun shining brightly out the window and not a cloud in the sky. In her right hand, she rolled over in her palm something smooth and round. In her palm she held the white materia, still slick and wet as if it had only just been retrieved from its resting place. Aeris gasped and curled her hand around the materia, bringing it up to her heart. He had gotten it. Sephiroth had gotten it and brought it...but why? He'd said. She thought. Surely, he'd done it just to mock her. Any moment now he'd appear from the shadows with a pithy insult. She waited. Nothing.

She swung her legs out and prepared to get out of bed. Her foot hit a slick of water and she stumbled, landing hard on one knee. There was water all over the floor, an extra big pool of it right next to her bed.  She stared at the pools of water, frowning in thought,  "What the hell? Could've changed before he came." She followed the trail, wanting to find him before he found her. She searched the entire house but he'd left nothing but a trail of footprints out the door. Sephiroth never did anything without a purpose and if he'd gotten the materia, she couldn't imagine it'd be for her. So why then? The only reason she could come up with was that he wanted to gloat, to lord over how much better he was than her. But...if that was right, where was he? Why.....And suddenly, it didn't matter. Aeris raced upstairs, avoiding the wet patches as best she could and dressed quickly, not bothering with her normal routines. Her clothes were disheveled, her hair unbound...the little things didn't matter at the moment. She had to find him. There wasn't any concrete reasoning...she just....It was the right thing to do. Whatever his reasoning, he'd done her a favor. Even if he wanted to mock her, so be it. Clutching the materia in her hand, she ran out the door, putting her cloak on as she went.

Aeris burst outside, immediately staring at the ground, looking futilely for his footsteps and finding only dust. For a panicked moment, she stood there like a gap mouthed fool looking around at a loss for what to do before her brain kicked in and she could think again. Her feet dug into the ground as she pounded thunderously towards the ancient machine, running across the city as fast as her legs could carry her. Noisily, she entered the oracle's chamber, calling out Sephiroth's name breathlessly. The only thing that answered was the sound of her own empty echoes. Chest heaving, she leaned against a wall to catch her breath, holding her aching side. She coughed and massaged the pain in her side as she tiredly walked forward. Perhaps he was meditating again. Holding out a hand, she willed the oracle to life, soft white light soon illuminated the chamber. Nothing. He'd left. She tilted her head back and stared at the ceiling bleakly, hitting her thigh with her balled fist. Now she'd have to search building to building. This was getting her nowhere fast.

And suddenly, a thought occurred to her. She was in the chamber now, the hidden door was right there. It would be a simple matter for her to open it and light the watchtower. So simple. She could finish her task and leave tonight, and he'd never be the wiser. That was her dream but...

Her hand tightened around the white materia as her breathing became slow and measured. She held up her hand and looked at it, as if asking it what she should do. It flared with life, glowing brightly as light flickered between her fingers. The light reflected in her eyes and her features softened as she cradled the materia in her palm. Each finger curled over the orb with deliberate grace as she held it to her heart. With a gentle sigh, she closed her eyes and petitioned the planet to help her find Sephiroth. It answered with quiet care, sending her warm tendrils of affection from the core of its being. She only winced a little, now more accustomed to the volume of its song. It had been too long since they'd last spoken. Without a need for explanation, the planet helped her to guide the oracle's vision. For the first time, she felt the true measure of the power she possessed. As easy as if she'd used her own hand, she reached out into the lifestream and pulled it forward. The chamber suffused with light as tendrils of its power lifted from the ground. Dancing around the oracle and the one who summoned it. Aeris stood stock-still, her hair undulating in a wind that came from nowhere.

She held out her hand and opened it, the white materia lifting off her palm, just barely hovering above it.  Culling from memory an image of the map of the universe she'd seen in Cosmo Canyon. The universe exploded from the crystal, stars and planets surrounding her like a vast and sparkling sea of black. Opening her eyes, she pushed past the stars and the planets until they blurred into infinitesimal white streaks. She formed her will but it was hard to grasp; the experience was intense and terrifying. The magic she felt flow through her was primal...untamed and it struggled wildly for a way to unleash itself. There was a feeling that any moment, she'd lose control. It was too much. No mortal body was meant to bear this and it was only with the planet's guiding hand that she did not. Planet and tenyo became as one and together they narrowed the search. From universe wide, to planet, to hemisphere, to continent, to region, and finally to city, until the small, green dot that represented him burned brightly on the map. Aeris felt her control slip briefly and as the spell came to an end, a thin fracture broke the surface of the oracle.

The white materia's glow slowly went out and returned to its place in her palm. With a shuddering gasp, she let go of her hold over the lifestream and clasped her materia in her hand tightly. Thanking the planet as she felt it recede into its heart, it sent to her its everlasting love and she smiled softly. Before it slipped away completely, it let her know that it could not help her like this again. It didn't need to give more of an explanation, Aeris understood now all too well. The chamber darkened and Aeris was left in the dim light, panting heavily with a light slick of sweat on her forehead. She wiped it away, exhaling in one, long breath. Staring at the fracture, she could still feel the pulse of the untamed power she summoned and she was afraid. She had to find Sephiroth. It was now less a task she felt she had to because of some obligation. This was no wish, no want, it was a need, something necessary. It was an instinct almost; she needed him like she needed air or food and water to live. This revelation startled and frightened her deeply but she obeyed nonetheless.

Exiting the oracle, she walked towards the building she'd seen on the map. Her body was too tired from exertion to do otherwise. She'd spent quite a bit of energy on that last little trick. Coming to a small house on the west side of the city, near the entrance to the sleeping forest. Rolling the white materia between her fingers, she became nervous. Her palms were sweating and she nibbled anxiously on her lip. With a foot stomp, she banished it by force of will. This fear was stupid and pointless and she'd had enough of it. Without hesitation, she walked up to the door and knocked on it lightly. No answer. She tried again. Again, no answer. 

Undeterred, she opened the door and stepped inside. Nothing looked disturbed and for a minute, Aeris wondered if she'd gone into the wrong house. Maybe they'd been mistaken when they pinpointed his location, it was the first time she'd used her power.

"Hello?" She asked, feeling a bit silly as she closed the door behind her. Entering the living space a bit further, she called again more quietly than she intended, "Sephiroth?"

The house was as silent as a grave and Aeris was afraid to disturb it with further noise. Light filtered through the holes in the roof, motes of dust dancing through the shafts like glittering bits of gold dust. The gloom of the building was penetrated, making it seem less menacing and more magical. Like a realm unto itself. It was moments like these that she wished she had a camera. She heard movement upstairs and curiously, she moved forward. With quiet grace, she followed the noise, being extra careful with her steps as she braced her hand against the wall to steady her ascension. Leave it to him to pick the most run down house in the city. She picked her way around a bit of debris, smiling to herself for not being a total klutz, like usual. Holding up her dress, she maneuvered around the fallen timbers, her eyes focused on her feet and not what was in front of her as she moved up. She turned the corner and entered the small bedroom, her eyes lifting off the floor and into the room. Upon looking up, she confronted with a sight she was unprepared for.

Sunlight shone openly from the large hole in the roof, bathing the small room with light. He stood in a patch of this light, a pale form blazing like fire and the sight transfixed her. He was a brightly burning seraph. A celestial body somehow brought to earth, as holy as the materia she clutched in her hand, but endlessly more terrifying, God's wrath given human shape and a will of its own.

The light shifted and the image that filled her eyes faded and the man that stood before her was just that, a man. His hair was sopping wet, leaving long trails of glistening moisture that beaded on his pale skin. Running down his back in shining rivulets. He had apparently just taken off his tunic, which lay wet on the floor. Stretching, he reached back and grabbed his hair, wringing it out, the water slapping unceremoniously on the floor. It was then that she remembered to blink. This was something she wasn't supposed to be seeing. He bent down to dig in the pack she'd given him, she found that her feet had become quite stubborn and had refused to move. She looked away, sure that her cheeks now glowed a bright technicolor red. What should she do? Swallowing hard, Aeris decided that leaving was a pretty good idea, if a bit terrifying. She wondered if she could do it without making any noise. Yes, she could, she had to. She would come back later, when he was more dressed and less wet. Ordering her recalcitrant feet to move, she held her breath as she tried to slip away quietly.

"Leaving so soon?"

"...crap..." she whispered to herself, squinting her eyes and grimacing.

She'd been caught. Slowly she turned around, and glanced at him. Yup, still no shirt. Her eyes widened and held up a hand to shield herself from the sight.

"Oh...god....I...I...I...um...."

"Get a good look?" he snarled acidly. "I don't know why you're being so bashful now..."

Her cheeks burnt with heat as her face flushed. He'd known she was there the entire time. She had never been so embarrassed in her whole life.

"I wasn't....I didn't mean to...." She stammered out, her hand still shielding her eyes as she backed away to attempt a hasty exit, "....I'm going to go now..."

"Oh, for god's sake, woman! You might as well stay and tell me what the hell it is you want!" He snapped, his exasperated tone was authoritative enough to halt her flight.

"But...uh...but...um...." She said, stumbling dumbly over her words, her back turned to him.

He grumbled to himself quietly and she heard the rustle of fabric being pulled over skin. There was small comfort in the fact that she couldn't hear what he said. Dear God, she just wanted to leave.

"You can turn around now, it's safe."

Her cheeks flared an even brighter shade of red as she turned. She looked down at her hands, finding herself unable to look him straight in the eye yet. To calm her nerves, she rolled the white materia from one hand to the other. Somewhere along the line her voice had fled and she could not come up with any words that would sound even semi-coherent.

"I'm waiting..."

"S-sorry..." She whispered, daring to glance up at him.

He gazed back at her detachedly; tired of useless apologies and wishing she'd just get on with it. The only annoying side effect of her fear was the damned endless stuttering. He'd pay good money for just one complete sentence from the girl.

"First off, I'm SO sorry...I didn't mean to walk in when...y-you were...yuh-you know..." She sputtered out, trailing off and flailing her hands in absent explanation.

"Yes, because knocking on doors is just one of those crazy fads..." He mumbled under his breath, but loud enough for her to hear.

"I did. No one answered."

"Yeah. Sure. Fine. Whatever." He replied flippantly, "What the hell do you want?"

"I came to thank you...." she said quietly, holding out her hand and opening it to reveal the white materia, all the while she refused to meet his gaze, "For this...."

Her entire demeanor changed once her hand opened, from embarrassed tension to a sorrowful pensiveness that greatly unnerved the former general. Not only because it was so sudden, but there was something else, a shy vulnerability that she hadn't shown in his presence thus far. There was none of the fiery independence she'd shown earlier. Her manner now spoke of a need for comfort....This was downright disturbing. Protection he could deal with, but he would be no one's caretaker. If she was looking for comfort, she wouldn't find it in him.

"No thanks are necessary. I merely wished to leave this city before we both grow old and die."

"....I know." She replied gently, raising her eyes to his, piercing them with her wide-eyed gaze, "But thank you anyway."

He cocked his head slightly, examining her suspiciously to determine what this new game might be. She didn't look away as he expected her to, meeting his eyes directly and holding them there. And in those emerald pools, he saw sincerity and something else. Fear, but not of him. Strange. Keeping his thoughts to himself, he watched her carefully. She'd be waiting forever for him to say that she was welcome...he was no hand holder, no shoulder to cry on. He kept his gaze cold and calculating, waiting for it to take effect. The girl didn't move. She hadn't required such an obvious hint before. What was she waiting for? The abrupt change bothered him more and more each minute. Made him uneasy enough to break eye contact with her.

"Anything else?"

"Yes..." She paused, rolling the materia in her palm idly as she began, "The last few months...have been difficult. I don't like you. You don't like me. We haven't really been working together like we should and most of the fault rests with me...But we were sent here for a reason.... so...I wanted to say, I'm sorry..."

"Is that all?" He snapped, irate that she apologized to him again.

"No. I was wondering if you'd please come with me to open up that door I showed you. Seeing as you got the materia that opens it, it's only fair. Of course, if you don't want to, that's alright and I can do it on my own...but...I wouldn't mind the company..."

She took one long, shaky breath, pleased that she managed to get that out without stuttering like a fool. Looking at him through her bangs, she waited. He glared at her with arms crossed, though he looked more speculative than annoyed. Several minutes of this quiet contemplation passed, a tête-à-tête without words. He was wearing the change of clothes she'd given him. A small smile curved on her face, she was wrong again. "Irony!" she mused to herself, "He does look good in them." The thought was ridiculous and silly and she had no idea where it came from. But it was funny, and right now...she really needed to laugh no matter how inappropriate it might be. She felt a giggle fit coming on and had to bite her lip to contain the vicious peals of laughter that threatened to break free. He apparently didn't notice or didn't care and after a beat, he came to a decision. Straightening his back so that he stood at his full height, he uncrossed his arms and nodded towards the exit.

"Lead the way."

Aeris smiled timidly before turning to exit. Things might just work out and for the moment she forgot the fear she felt in the oracle chamber. The primal forces within her had quieted in his presence, and a tentative calm has settled upon her, though she didn't care to notice much less acknowledge it. She took the sudden serenity she felt was as a result of finally succeeding at something, beginning her journey and not wasting time. The dreamer had awakened in more ways than one.