Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Reintegration ❯ Part 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Sephiroth mysteriously comes back to life with nearly complete memories and no insanity. He goes back to Shinra and it's up to the Turks to reintegrate him into society, unless they drive him crazy all over again. Told in Sephiroth's perspective.

Reintegration

Sephiroth's Point of View

Step 01: An Invitation to Hang Out

Everyone deserves a second chance, that's what she told me when she saw me leaving the life stream. I didn't really see Aeris in the life stream often, she must have been in a completely different area than where I was at; that makes sense. She sounded pretty forgiving despite the fact that I vaguely remember stabbing her on the back, literally. However, I can almost imagine her laughing evilly right now, 'you're getting what you deserve Sephiroth', she must be thinking.

No doubt about it, this is a divine punishment worse than ten thousand deaths. But then, who am I to judge, I'm only the fallen legend, yet I have no intentions of remaining as such. Whatever happened in the past, whatever crazy ideas I had, which were mako induced I'm sure, are gone now. I am sane, for now at least, but I cannot guarantee my mental state for much longer if Reno doesn't shut up.

"So are you coming, you are coming, right?"

I massage my temples and sigh, tempted to give him a negative reply. Reno has been asking me to join him and Rude at the Seventh Heaven tonight and quite frankly I do not feel up to it. Never mind that Cloud Strife, whom I'm certain hates me with a good reason, and Tifa Lockhart, who perhaps has even more reasons to hate me, are both going to be there. "Yes Reno, I'm going."

"Awesome!"

I'm an idiot. Surely my time in the life stream has washed away every shred of common sense I ever had. I know this will end badly, but I simply could not refuse. Needless to say, my sudden return, though not exactly a movie worthy entrance, has left everyone who knows of it so far in shock.

There were no crashes of lightning, no darkness in the sky, no roaring thunder, no harsh wind, nothing to indicate the coming of... well, anything. I simply materialized at a church in old Midgar in my usual clothes, with my usual sword, simple as that, and I walked around, unsure of where to go. One cannot be expected to know what to do immediately after recovering one's mental health and being mysteriously resurrected.

I am certain however, that I am not a ghost, nor am I an insane super villain bent on destroying the planet, or using it as an odd sort of rocket ship. Nor do I believe that the fossil of a very old alien, who was probably already dead before my grandparents existed, could possibly be my mother. At least, that much is clear. This does not mean I understand my origins, but modifications aside, I'm sure I'm not a mere laboratory experiment. I should have, must have, had parents at some point, I just don't know who they were.

Gast could have been my father, but I don't know for sure, as for my mother, I'm at a blank. But let's get back into the main topic; my forgotten family tree should be the least of my worries right now. As I was saying, I walked around without a set plan of action, and of all the people in the world, it was Reno of the Turks who found me.

That carrot-top fool landed his helicopter and, holding his electrorod ready, he cautiously approached. I rolled my eyes at his incessant pouty-faced glare, then he asked who I was and I told him the truth. I accepted going to the new Shinra where several tests were conducted to prove I was who I said I was. My DNA matched their data, so they were finally satisfied.

Then Reno went on a speech about how he found me, exaggerating several unimportant details. I only half listened while I wondered about my uncertain future and disastrous past, until it was decided that I would be given the opportunity to participate in Shinra's efforts to fix what was done wrong, but until they knew I could be trusted, I would have to be guarded by the Turks.

If I wasn't in the center of all this, I would have been amused by their little argument, where Reno made me sound like a stray puppy he found on the street and should therefore be allowed to keep since he saw it first. I wanted to reach out, smack him on the head, and tell him I am not to become his pet. Instead I made myself calm down and mentally counted to ten, I couldn't blow things now if I was planning to live a decent life now that I have been mysteriously brought back to life.

Though I will emphasize the fact that Reno is annoying, in his favor I must admit I'm glad that he's too stupid to fear me. It's not that I am planning to harm him or anyone else, but rather, I would understand if my presence is alarming. Nevertheless Reno seems to find it easy to make an effort to help reintegrate me to Shinra and perhaps society, even if he is going at it in a most inappropriate way. In that sense I feel compelled to accept the offer to go 'hang out' with the Turks at the Seventh Heaven, and even if I know I'm a fool to hope that tonight will end without bloodshed, I will still hope.

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Step 02: Reminiscing

They say that reminiscing about old times can be both good and bad. It can bring back negative ideas of monstrous origins and alien mothers telling their sons to remodel the planet into a spaceship as payback for things that supposedly happened long before said son's real grandparents even existed. However, looking back on one's beginnings in this world, or one's second beginnings, or third, can sometimes bring many revelations, such as the fact that I brought this upon myself and I'm going to have to face it.

I was confused when I came back. There I was, in the world of the living, not in the life stream, wondering what got into me. One minute I was on a mission and the next I was reading a multitude of old books, trying to find out who I was, the rest is blurred by insanity. I supposed that knowing I was more than just a little crazy back then proves that I am sane now.

Even so, even if I was supposedly sane when I came back, I could still hear a voice in my head, though only for a short time and it wasn't the imaginary voice of Jenova. I don't mean to disrespect the dead, but I don't know what caused me to think that I was related to that being. Back on topic, the voice in question I'm fairly certain belonged to Aeris, she was bidding me farewell from the life stream and wishing me good luck in reforming my life.

My mind could have been racing with thoughts at the time, and for a short while it was, but then it went blank and my many thoughts ran through my subconscious. I walked and walked, drowning in confusion, until I was picked up by him, Reno, the foolish man who landed a helicopter in my path and faced me armed with an electrorod, miraculously living to tell the tale.

Reno didn't attack, I'm not sure I could have held back if he did. When he saw that I had no intentions of attacking unless it was in self defense, he had asked, "who are you?"

"I am Sephiroth," I did not hide my identity.

"Oh..." Reno tilted his head to the side and put the electrorod away, approaching me curiously. Then he extended his arm, index finger outstretched, and poked me on the shoulder, quickly retreating and jumping back. He repeated the action several times, until he trusted me enough to poke me without immediately retreating.

"Are you satisfied?" I was annoyed, but I tried to be lenient with the foolish creatures of this world after all the trouble I caused. Besides, not everyone is as irritating as Reno.

"Are you coming back to Shinra?" The half question, half invitation surprised me but it shouldn't have.

"I suppose so," Shinra was all I knew, it was my logical destination, I had no where else to go.

That was how it all began, this new life of mine. During the helicopter ride, Reno nearly chewed my ears off talking, not literally of course. He was full of questions and I didn't always know the answers. I was aggravated and it took a tremendous effort to stop myself from decapitating the Turk.

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Hearing Reno later dramatize the encounter with the Legend, me, was both annoying and amusing, though I'll admit mostly amusing. "Can we keep him?"

Tseng shook his head at the question; we were in Shinra HQ then, in the Turks' office to be specific.

"It's okay, I'll take care of him," Reno had insisted, making me sound like a stray animal. "I'll feed him, keep him out of trouble, I'll make sure he's alright."

'Who will make sure the rest of the world is alright?' I'm sure Tseng wanted to ask, but instead he continued to shake his head and finally voiced, "we'll have to ask the president."

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Rufus was neither trilled nor stressed to see me when Tseng, Reno and I entered his office. The president took the matter with relative ease and offered me a job, "we can reinstate you into Shinra if you don't cause trouble. We're working on creating a new image here."

"I assure you I will not bring any problems," to say this felt odd, my record had been impeccable before the entire Nibelheim incident and I filed no report after that, so this was my first time seemingly making an excuse along the lines of 'it won't happen again,' only worded differently.

"Very well then, since we have no Soldier department anymore, you will be working with the Turks, everything will be reported to Tseng. Other than that, try not to cause a commotion." Rufus seemed to have grown up a lot, while he still stayed Mr. Spoiled Rich Boy, but I was very glad to be working with the new president instead of old man Shinra.

"Yes, sir," was all I could think of replying.

Tseng had looked stressed; he kept glancing at Reno and me as if he couldn't handle both of us at the same time. Though I'm sure he must be feeling better about my presence by now, since Reno has taken to sticking to me like glue most of the time, leaving him with far less time to pester Tseng. Is this how it was for Aeris when she was under surveillance? Oh yes, she must be enjoying her revenge from the life stream.

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My thoughts come full circle into the present. I live at Shinra, I work at Shinra, I spend my free time at Shinra, and I see more of the Turks than I ever thought I could handle. However, this is not so bad, what will be bad is my upcoming appointment to go to the Seventh Heaven. How did I let Reno drag me into this? Regardless of what strange power of persuasion he might have used, I will not go back on my word.

I exit my room, located in a well secured basement of the new Shinra building, and proceed to feel utterly silly standing at the main entrance, waiting for Reno to show up so we can get this over with. People pass by heading towards the cyber cafe that was opened as part of a community help or to shop at the Shinra stores. Some give me odd looks, but they continue on their way. I'm feeling quite uncomfortable standing here and an attendant has come twice to ask if I wanted something. I politely told her I was waiting for someone and she finally went away, but that did little to relive my discomfort.

I am tempted to retreat back to my room, or maybe explore the city of Edge alone, but given the situation, I'm sure that will not be well received. It can be seen as an attempt to get away from Shinra's custody, which I'm sure is the only thing keeping me from being sent to jail, and consequently breaking out of jail. I'm sure the only reason I'm even allowed to leave this building without a fuss is because I'll be leaving with a Turk.

Surely Reno must be neck deep in paperwork just to get me out of here, signing a sea of documents making himself responsible for my actions. I'm sure that's what's keeping him, so I should be patient and wait, I just wish he would hurry.

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Step 03: Patience

"Look mommy, it's Sephiroth!" I knew something bad was to come when the child called out those words.

I am still standing here in the lobby of Shinra, near the entrance, not daring to go out. If I am to make amends, I can't misbehave, or give the impression that I am misbehaving. Reno hasn't shown up yet, he must be having a hard time with the documents to get me out of here, I really wish he would hurry.

"Oh, yes, it's Sephiroth, we better be careful or he'll throw a bomb at us!" The child's mother is clearly amused and I am not.

I never planted or threw bombs; I manipulated an ancient fossil that I thought was my mother and tried to cause a meteor to collide with this planet so I could use it as a vessel to travel the cosmos and... Oh, never mind. It all sounds too crazy when I think about it now. The point is the ones playing with explosives were the Turks and Avalanche, not me.

"I'll get you, villain!" The boy is hitting me with his miniature plastic buster sword.

I look at the child's mother waiting for her to call him back and scold him, but she is actually laughing. "Ma'am?"

She nods, interpreting my silent request in a completely different way from how it was meant. "Keep an eye on him then. I'll be back after I'm done shopping." She walks away, abandoning me with the little brat.

"Oni slash! Oni slash!" The boy keeps hitting me with his sword as I stand frozen in disbelief. The child's mother assumed I was some kind of child care taker employed by Shinra, who was merely dressed as Sephiroth, but I am Sephiroth.

I take a deep breath and hold down my temper. I did say I was making amends and living peacefully. I do wish to honor the reputation I used to have before the Nibelheim incident, but there are some things that I cannot overlook, "it's omnislash, not oni slash."

"Nu-uh, Sephiroth! You're just trying to trick me!" The boy continues hitting me with his plastic sword. Reno, where are you?

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An hour passes before the child's mother finally returns carrying several shopping bags. "Thank you for taking care of him, it's so nice of Shinra to have someone to play with the children like this."

"I can't go, mommy! I need to defeat Sephiroth!" I can't believe this; I need to get rid of this brat, without hurting him. "Oni slash!"

I pretend to fall over, I feel like an idiot, but the kid might throw a tantrum if he leaves without defeating the villain, that will give Shinra a bad image and I will get blamed for it. "I will never be a memory..."

I dramatically pretend to die and the boy cheers, running around his mother. "Did you see, mommy? Did you see? I beat Sephiroth!"

"Yes dear, I saw, you're quite the hero. Come now, let's go home." Before leaving, the woman thanks me again and gives me some gil, "your costume is really good." I assume the gil is a tip.

After the mother and child are gone, I look around to see the normal flow of people; no one cared too much about the show. They don't believe I am the real Sephiroth; I'm just a man in a villain costume. What ever happened to the legendary hero? Is that who Cloud is now? I can't help it but to feel bitter jealousy.

My PHS suddenly rings, getting me out of my thoughts. I see Reno's name on the screen and immediately answer it, "hello?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm waiting in the entrance to headquarters." Finally, I can leave!

"Why? Who are you waiting for?" Reno's questions take me by surprise.

"You," I answer simply. Has Reno not been filling up papers to get me out of here all this time?

"I thought we were going to the Seventh Heaven, I told you that, didn't I? For how long were you waiting? If you forgot where we were meeting you should have called me, or Rude." Reno is missing a very important point.

I try to illustrate the point he missed, but instead end up asking unsure, "don't you need to fill up a lot of paperwork so I can leave the Shinra building? Don't I need to be escorted by a Turk at all times?"

Laughter erupts at the other end of the line. When Reno finally regains his composure enough to speaks, he voices between muffled laughs, "I'm not your babysitter!"

I can only stare at the PHS dumbly, "what do you mean?"

"I mean I don't have to keep an eye on you, no one does. You're not going to do anything wrong, are you? You don't need babysitters or guards; you're not a kid or a prisoner. Sure you're under watch, but it's not that strict. Besides, I knew you were coming and told the other Turks, if we lose track of you, we'll call you, and if you reply, everything is fine. Just don't disappear without telling or we'll have to track you down and won't be able to clock out until we hear from you. Anyway, you can still head on over to the Seventh Heaven, the party's just getting good!"

"I've been waiting," I mutter into the PHS, "I've been waiting..." I've been waiting for nothing, while Reno, whom I thought was braving a sea of forms and questioners, was out drinking with his friends.

"Then stop waiting and get over here, if you wanted a ride you should have said so. C'mon, just walk over here or take the train; you're missing all the fun!"

I don't care how rude it was, but I hung up without saying goodbye. I feel utterly ridiculous as I walk down the streets of Edge. No one is frightened and I know I should be happy, but I'm frustrated. I better not walk too fast, because right now what I really want to do when I get to the Seventh Heaven is smash Reno's face against the counter repeatedly until they both break.

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Step 04: Friendly Gathering

When I arrived at the Seventh Heaven, I was breathing heavily. It's not that I'm tired or out of breath, I was trying to calm myself. However, my attempt at relaxing deep breaths came out as heavy panting.

"Wow, I never thought I would see you out of breath," Reno looked at me curiously. "Have a seat buddy, rest up and have fun," then he attempted to push me into a stool in front of the bar, after having the audacity to call me 'buddy'. He pushed me gently at first, then with all his strength when that didn't work. I didn't move an inch, my eyes were closed and my breathing had stopped, as I mentally counted to ten and summoned the willpower not to kill Reno.

Finally, I opened my eyes and sat down. To my left, there sat Reno and next to him Rude, then Elena and Tseng in the far corner. To my right, there sat Cloud Strife. I looked at Cloud curiously from the corner of my eyes, half-hidden behind my hair. It was ridiculous, hair doesn't really hide anyone, but I created the illusion of being invisible by partially covering my face like a school girl would do, as if that would make the act of passing notes impossible to detect. The thought made me shudder and sit straight.

Cloud looked at me curiously, his eyes were hard at first, but then he seemed to remember something and his look softened. Why is it taking him this long to bring out his sword? I thought he would pick a fight the second a set foot in here. "Nice costume."

My mouth hung open for a few seconds before I finally muttered, "thanks." Cloud thinks this is a disguise. I glance at Reno who gives me a knowing grin. Maybe he's not so stupid after all; it looks like he did prepare Strife for my arrival. "Do you hate me, him, Sephiroth?" I hate how the words came out all mixed up, but I can hardly articulate a coherent sentence in my state of shock. That was a very stupid question.

"Of course not!" I stare at Cloud in shock, "not you I mean, I hate Sephiroth, everyone knows that, but I don't hate you. I know what it's like needing a job. I've taken on a few troublesome deliveries myself. I'm not going to judge you by the character you play. Acting out the part of the villain doesn't mean you're evil; it's just another character that someone has to represent. There's not need to be embarrassed, it's an honest job."

I nod at Cloud's words. I'm not going to burst his bubble and tell him I'm the real Sephiroth. That would be a very foolish action, which would surely bring about the chaos I've been trying so hard to avoid.

"Hi! What can I bring you?" The Seventh Heaven is packed with people and it took Tifa a moment to free herself enough to ask. I order a drink and suddenly I find myself remembering my time with Angeal and Genesis. I haven't thought about them in a long time, but I realize that I miss them.

Tifa placed my drink on the counter in front of me and I think she said something, but I was too lost in memory lane to notice right away. Ridiculously enough, the image of Angeal, Genesis and I starts to shift and I see myself laughing like old times, but my companions are Cloud and Reno. This is indeed ridiculous.

The chatter around me continues and I finally notice how noisy this place is, but I suppose I can't expect a bar to be quiet. I finish my glass and order another drink, the effect of alcohol is lost on mako, I've never been drunk, I don't think I'm capable of that regardless of how much I drink.

"You know, he wasn't always so bad," I'm not sure what possessed me to suddenly speak again. "Sephiroth, I mean."

"Oh," Cloud's attention was captured by my statement. "I know, I heard and I know; it's complicated." He paused as if trying to find a way to explain something that a regular person wouldn't understand. "My friend Zack knew Sephiroth, I know him through Zack."

This isn't a simple matter of meeting a person after being introduced by a mutual friend, there is something more, but I will not question it. With Soldier and mako, the possibilities are endless and I know first hand that it is possible to end up with a reality that is not one's own, fictional or borrowed. I simply nod unsure of what to say, I don't want to push the issue too much or Cloud and the eavesdroppers, bars are always full of them, are going to think I'm defending a villain too much and I am trying to avoid fights.

Nevertheless, I can't help it but to hold on to that memory of me before I lost my mind, my true self, the person I am hoping to restore. Yes, I want to go back to that, though I know it should be impossible. For now I'll just focus on staying out of trouble, which shouldn't be too hard since no one believes I'm the real Sephiroth. That also bothers me a little, how can I clean my tainted name by being someone else? Should I attempt to prove I changed before revealing myself? That appears to be the wisest course of action.

When I snap out of my thoughts, I find Cloud staring at my eyes with an unsure look on his face. "Your eyes," he mutters in a nearly inaudible whisper.

"Contact lenses," I'm quick to make up an excuse for the unnatural glow in my mako eyes.

Cloud's laugh suddenly rings out, causing all the people around us, the Turks and Tifa included, to look at him.

"How did you do that?" Reno questions. "I've been trying to make Mr. Emo laugh for ages. I thought he just didn't have a sense of humor!"

Tifa smiled widely at the scene, while Cloud calmed his laughter. "For a second there I thought you were the real one. That's impossible, the real Sephiroth wouldn't just sit here drinking and talking. He would be trying to kill me and destroy humanity or searching for traces of Jenova leftovers or something. I've been listening to too many of Reno's 'three soldiers walk into a bar' jokes."

I force myself to laugh, but it comes out somewhat bitter.

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Step 05: Psychology

Last night was not so bad. I stayed at the Seventh Heaven until late at night. The Turks were there late as well. Reno started telling jokes and I think I should have been offended, but I let it pass, Strife didn't seem to care too much, he just rolled his eyes. I remember some of Reno's stupid 'three soldiers walk into a bar' jokes...

"So these three soldiers walk into a bar and each of them gets two drinks, one free for each. Everyone wonders about this and then the bartender points to a sign that says it's a special ladies' night so women get their first drink free. So this random guy says, 'but there are only three men there, no women.' So the bartender says, 'it's one drink for them and one for their mother.' Then the guy goes, 'where's the mother? And that would still be two extra drinks,' so the bartender goes, 'they're soldiers'!"

I remember there was a pause when Reno finished his joke and nobody laughed so he elaborated, "don't you get it? It's because they each have their mom with them, Jenova cells, get it? Okay one more, three soldiers walk into a bar and ask for drinks, but the bartender refuses saying 'you're already too drunk,' but the soldiers say they haven't had any drinks, then the bartender goes, 'you're drunk I can see it in your eyes!' Get it? Mako, they're drunk on mako!"

There was a multitude of stupid jokes after that, but I chose not to remember them. Reno says the most ridiculous things when he's drunk. Admittedly, it takes a lot of drinks for him to become drunk enough to start telling his 'three soldiers walk into a bar' jokes, but when he starts, he doesn't stop. I bet he won't remember any of that today, lucky him.

So far my tasks for today have consisted of training, training and more training. I've been at Shinra HQ; it is the only place I know. As I swing my sword and battle holographic monsters in the simulator, everything suddenly goes dark, the lights come on again and the simulator is empty, somebody interrupted my training.

Normally I would be annoyed, but I have been trying to control my temper. "Yo Seph!" Reno is not making that task easy. "Do you know what kind of mission Leader just gave me?" He doesn't allow me to reply, "he told me to tell you something, me, a messenger boy. But that's okay, it's still a lot better than Rude's job, he has to hand out flyers for some Shinra sponsored event. Man, can you believe the lack of interesting missions since Shinra turned goody-goody?"

I stop to give the situation some thought, while Reno chatters about, then I speak, my voice silencing his, "it's admirable."

With a "huh?" and a puzzled expression, Reno stops talking.

"What Rufus is trying to do, he is restoring Shinra to be once again seen as a force of good. The world still needs heroes and Shinra will have to provide them once the people's trust is reestablished in full. Things are a little shaky right now, but I think we're making progress." I pause to realize I am including myself as a part of Shinra, speaking of 'us' with more unity that I ever have before. This time 'we' includes all of Shinra, not just my elite best friends.

"Eh?" Reno is still confused.

"You have always worked as a spy, haven't you? Back then soldiers were the public heroes and Turks worked in the shadows. Maybe one day we will all be seen as heroes," when I had such a reputation I didn't care for it and now I want it back, not for the fame, but for the proof of redemption.

"Back then..." Reno tilts his head curiously, then wrinkles his nose in dislike. "You sound like an old man, and here I thought your hair was naturally silver, is it from age?"

I shake my head, "you need to learn to be more responsible." I have a feeling telling him this is a lost cause; he doesn't hold the burden of being the world's greatest villain. Then I recall that I am assigned to work with the Turks, as explained by Rufus, because there are no soldier units anymore. "Since you've been assigned to the task of messenger boy, please inform Tseng that I am on standby, awaiting orders." Reno merely blinks and I remind him, "I was assigned to work with the Turks remember, I report to Tseng."

"Oh! That's right, I almost forgot, there's this report you have to write," I thought I caught a hint of mischief in Reno's eyes, but I'm not sure why. "It's kind of a psycho exercise."

"I do hope you mean psychological."

"Yeah, yeah, that! All you have to do is type up a report of what happened in the bar last night, how you interacted with people and stuff, but it has to be in my perspective. Just write it as if you were me; it's part of the exercise, putting yourself in someone else's shoes and stuff."

I should be bothered that I am being reported on as an experiment, I was seen as an experiment for far too long and thinking of myself as such drove me to the extremes. But was fully expected to be reported on given the situation and I'm still surprised I can move around the city in relative freedom after all that happened. Perhaps I am being reported on more as a mental patient than an experiment this time around, yet I can't really blame them, I'll just have to prove I'm sane and I'm certainly not stupid. "Reno, you just want me to do your paperwork for you."

Reno looks like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Aw c'mon, you're not doing anything! Besides, I'm asking you to do this for your own good. I'm just trying to help; it really could be a good psycho exercise!"

I sigh and massage my temples, "alright, I'll do it, but please stop abbreviating the word psychological."

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Step 06: Email

I logged into a terminal to type the report Reno requested. It was an odd feeling, I didn't often use the terminals in the old days, save for a few occasions when I needed to do some research, but when I sat down in front of it, I typed my ID number and password automatically and hit enter before I realized how ridiculous the action was. Why would I still be in their database? Even if they had a backup and managed to restore everything into the servers of their new headquarters, why would my account be active here? Surprisingly, it is

I check the status of my account and see that it was reactivated a day after I returned to Shinra. Apparently I also have new emails and didn't realize it. Here's one from Reno, it has a forwarded message and a document attached.

"Leader told me to tell you this!" Was the only line in Reno's message.

I scroll to read the forwarded message below it, which is from Tseng, "Reno, have you told Sephiroth how to set up his new PHS with the Shinra database so he can access his account and view emails?"

I shake my head, how was this message supposed to reach me if Reno sent it through a network that was yet to be synchronized with my PHS? I opened the attached document and followed the step by step instructions. I am now able to view my Shinra database account and emails through my PHS.

I scroll to another message and see it is from the financial department. I skip the formal greetings and get to the point, "your pay has been deposited automatically in your account at the Bank of Shinra. We did not receive a request for a change in your bank account information, so we assume that it has not changed as of your return to the company. If this is correct, you do not need to reply to this message. If your account information has changed, please contact the financial department immediately. Please note that this first payment is significantly less then your normal paycheck, that is because it includes only the days from the time of your reinstating until the regular payment date. Your next paycheck will be in full."

"I'm getting paid?" I can't help it but to state the question aloud to no one in particular. I thought I would have to pay a fee to the world, yet somehow, I'm getting paid to be at Shinra, even if I'm not doing much. Is Rufus trying to guilt trip me? If he is, I feel horrible, it's working. With vast curiosity I check my bank account information and find that my savings are still there and they have earned interest during my absence. I can only stare at the screen in disbelief.

"Wow, you're loaded!" Anyone else would have jumped at the sudden voice, but I felt the presence behind me and caught a glimpse of who it was from the reflection of the screen protector.

"If you're here for the report, I still haven't finished it," actually, I haven't started it.

Reno nods, "I wanted to see how it was going to make sure you really make it sound like me. It's okay, no rush, I never turn in reports on time anyway."

I continue to stare at the number on the screen, "all that money..." I feel undeserving.

"You know, I always heard Soldiers were poor. Well, poor compared to Turks anyway. I guess you must not spend a lot if you saved that amount."

"I do not care to have many material posessions." I can't help it but to picture the old Midgar slums in my head. Sure those times are gone, but there are many people who have less than me, because they can't afford it, rather than by lack of interest.

Reno completely misses the guilt in my voice. "It's going to be your turn to invite us one of these days, we do that all the time, a different Turk invites the others somewhere each weekend."

I don't mind paying for the group, the same was done for me at the Seventh Heaven, but Reno's disregard bothers me, "you gamble, buy unnecessary things and travel first class, don't you?"

"Well sure, doesn't everyone? Except for the part about buying unnecessary things, goggles, video games and helicopters are very necessary!"

"You collect them?" I assume, though it comes out sounding like a question, when the second part was supposed to be the only question, "helicopters?"

"Yeah, and electrorods too, Rude collects sunglasses, he has a zillion of them, he also likes to work out, his gym's packed with stuff. Elena collects the strangest things, I hardly call it art, but she says those paintings and sculptures are elegant, what an eye sore. Tseng doesn't like clutter so aside from buying a new house or apartment now and then, he doesn't spend much."

I am feeling an irresistible urge to bang my head against the keyboard, but I somehow resist it anyway. Shinra's new image, huh? They're still swimming in money, but if they give too much at once it would be too sudden for anyone to notice the change. It had to be done slowly and with the guise of anonymity for flashy modesty and the belief of nonexistent sacrifice. Shinra couldn't look like it was giving away their extra change, they had to look like they were struggling. I note that I have dropped the 'we' for a 'they' now, but I am still part of Shinra and I will try to make it better, even if I am unforgivable myself. "Let me guess, there's a huge mansion underground at Healin Lodge with all sorts of luxuries."

"How did you know that? Shh! Keep it quiet, it's a secret, Taichou's gonna be mad if anyone hears about it! We were planning to tell you later, honest, we just had to wait a bit and if everything went well, you could come over."

I sigh exasperated, if anyone is going to teach Shinra the true meaning of kindness, it will have to be me, despite the fact that I shouldn't be one to talk. I take a deep breath and go through several ideas in my head on how to properly spend my savings. Admittedly, the first thought that floats into my mind is selfish; I want to move out, if that's possible. "Reno," my tone indicates a change in subject. Am I truly required to live at headquarters?"

"I don't think so, as long as you don't drop off the radar."

"Can I move out?"

"Sure! I'll tell Tseng about it, he has all the latest information in real estate!" Before I could say anything, Reno ran off to inform Tseng.

I have a feeling that this will get expensive and I don't want to spend too much on myself. I try to get distracted by reading the rest of my emails.

xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox

Step 07: Uniform

I finished going through my emails pretty quickly. Tseng had emailed me some links to the Shinra database and instructed me to read the updated company policies. I did, making sure to study them well. In the past, I wouldn't have paid such close attention, just skimming over the documents if I looked at them at all, but now I feel the need to try my best at everything; yet I somehow feel that I'm still lacking. I suppose that's the weight of a dept to the planet.

Elena had emailed me as well; welcoming me to the Turks and warning me to beware coffee machine number eight, because that's the one Reno uses for his practical jokes. I'm not sure which one is number eight, as they are not actually numbered, but I will be extra careful around coffee and around Reno, because I fear my self control will not last if he plays a practical joke on me. Perhaps I should feel thankful to be included if that happens, but I doubt my focus will be easy to maintain... I never doubted myself before, but I guess many things are different now.

My written report is done and I have already emailed it to Reno, he replied a while later while I occupied myself in the further studies of Shinra's rules and regulations, with a message of "thanks pal!" I have a feeling he didn't read over my report and simply forwarded it to Tseng, or Rufus, or both. I could have sent him any attachment and he would have sent that to them.

I was still at the terminal when I felt a presence behind me. Maybe my senses are not so dull after all, or maybe they are. I cannot precise for how long Rude had been standing behind me before I realized he was there. "Hello..." I voice a neutral and hopefully polite sounding greeting.

Rude nods and hands me a box.

I take the box, confusion obvious on my face. I won't hide the fact that I don't know what this box is; maybe Rude will notice and say something, from what little I know of him, he's very quiet, but I heard he's observant.

"Uniform," Rude's reply was simple and to the point, then he left me alone with the box.

I examined the box's contents to find a black suit, tie and shoes and a white shirt. This is a Turk's uniform, is it my uniform? The realization suddenly sinks in. There is no soldier division; I'm reporting to the Turks now, naturally, I should wear their uniform.

It's strange to think about wearing a uniform. I didn't used to wear a uniform in Soldier and neither did Genesis. Our clothes were acceptable for the job and similar to the Soldier uniforms, but they were not the full standards. Angeal used to wear a uniform though.

xoxox xox xoxox

I made sure to log out before I headed to the locker room with the new uniform; I assume I am expected to change right away. It feels odd to remove the armor I put on every day, thinking that I won't wear it again, at least not while working. I suppose it would be wise not to wear the clothing people remember me with as a villain if I am to reintegrate myself into society and live a new peaceful life. Yet I want to wash that reputation along with the armor I used during the good old days, going on missions and training with Angeal and Genesis.

I shake my head and set my old clothes aside. It's time for a new beginning. I put on my Turk uniform and find discomfort. It's not that I am opposed to the idea of being a Turk; this is physical discomfort due to the size of the uniform. The pants, the shirt and blazer are all tight and short, the pants showing my ankles. The shoes are a lost cause; I simply cannot get my feet into them. If I wear my boots the pants don't look so bad and my shirt is tucked in with the blazer over it so the size problem isn't too obvious, it is the blazer that is being difficult.

After battling with the blazer, I finally manage to get it on, but it is most unpleasant. I keep shifting my shoulders, but I can't seem to get comfortable. I miss my armor, it doesn't feel heavy at all, though I imagine it would be heavy for most people, but it gives me a certain familiar comfort in the way my clothes feel.

My PHS sounds off with a message from Tseng, which I read right away, "report to the president's office immediately," did I do something wrong?

I pause and analyze my own thoughts, I'm like a child who got into mischief and fears anyone finding out about it. I used to get messages like this all the time, though I usually had to report to Lazard. In any case, there is no reason to assume the worse.

xoxox xox xoxox

To say the president's expression is dreadful would be an understatement. We are lined up in front of his desk, clock-wise, Tseng, Elena, Reno, Rude and me. Rufus is looking at me with absolute disapproval. Was I supposed to wait for an official confirmation before changing into this uniform? Was it truly meant for me, or is the mismatching size an indication that I was supposed to simply hold on to it for whatever reason.

"Rude?" Rufus finally spoke. Rude only nodded in response and the president continued as if he spoke a full clear answer to Rufus' mysterious question, "schedule an appointment." Again Rude nodded at Rufus' words, what is going on?

I looked at the faces of each person in the room, Rufus still has that look of disapproval, Rude's expression is neutral, Tseng doesn't appear to hold the situation in too much importance, it seems Reno pities me and Elena looks rather cheerful and gives me a smile I wonder if I should return.

I didn't smile often in the past, I might look strange doing so and it would inevitably be a forced smile since my natural expression right now is of puzzlement. Never mind, she looked away, it's too late.

Rufus continued his speech about where the Turks should go that day, maintain the peace here, spread goodwill there, etcetera. I wonder if it is half as nice as it sounds, though I admit it's hard to imagine the Turks doing volunteer charity work. Will I do that too? It might be awkward but if it makes me feel that I am accomplishing a portion of redemption, I will look forward to it.

"Elena, do you want to go instead, I know Rude won't enjoy this, but I believe you would," Rufus offered.

Elena's face lit up, "yes sir!" At the same time, Rude's neutral expression had the slightest hint of relief for a second, though it was easy to miss. What's this about? I feel as if someone is talking behind my back right in front of me.

"Alright, that's all, make sure to turn in your reports electronically at the end of the day," once Rufus concludes, all the Turks, myself included, leave his office and head to the elevator.

xoxox xox xoxox

When we reach the first floor, Tseng, Rude and Reno walk away with Reno complaining and Tseng cautioning him; Rude retained his neutrality. "This way," Elena called my attention, noting that I just stood there in front of the elevator wondering if I should follow someone and who I should follow.

"Where are we going?" I finally asked, it seemed everyone knew except me.

"To the tailor," Elena was smiling from ear to ear, surrounded by a foreboding air.

xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox xox xoxox

Step 08: Normal Man

I follow Elena with mounting dread. I do not wish to go to a tailor, but it seems I have no choice. I suppose it is a requirement that I wear a uniform and they simply do not have a Turk uniform in my size. I guess they didn't expect to hire a Turk who required bigger clothing than Rude.

I'm still lost in my gloomy thoughts, imagining myself being instructed to stand straight and extend my arms, while the tailor stood on a chair and measured me. It will be terribly boring I'm sure, yet I know it's nothing I have the right to complain about.

"Sephiroth?"

Elena's voice wakes me from my thoughts and I realize that I am standing in front of a slick black car, I do not recognize the model, maybe it is custom made as a vehicle to be used by Turks, I wouldn't be surprised if that were true. Upon further inspection I realize that Elena is standing there holding the door open as if I am some rich and spoiled movie star, who must have the chuffer do such a trivial task before getting into the car.

"Are you coming?"

I nod, not wishing to waste any more time, and get in. Elena walks around the car and climbs into the driver's seat. I've never had any doors held open for me before and an odd sense of awkwardness hands in the air.

I noticed that Elena put on her seat belt and quickly put on my own. She breathes deeply and pulls out of the garage, which is cluttered with various vehicles, including a few cars identical to the one we're on, some unmarked and others baring the Shinra logo.

"Just relax, we'll be there in no time," Elena stomps on the gas and makes a sharp turn soon after.

A normal man would have screamed in fear, and it is in moments like this that I am thankful for all my training as a Soldier.

"Do you like music? Of course, who doesn't like music, right? I think I left a flashdrive around here. Where did I put it?" Elena starts fishing for it under the seat, while we rush down the highway.

A normal man would have all the reasons in the world to scream. Thankfully, I am far better trained than a normal man.

"Found it!" Elena holds up the little flashdrive, with a moogle keychain attached to it. "Here we go," she plugs it into the radio's usb outlet and the screen lights up with a list of songs. She then navigates through them on the touch screen, selects the desired playlist and cheerful pop music invades the atmosphere.

Elena looks towards me as if searching for any hints of approval or disapproval for the sound in my expression and I force myself to smile.

She laughs, "you look like I'm taking you to an evil dentist to drill your teeth, you need to relax!"

I knew my smile would come out unnatural, but at least Elena wasn't offended by it.

"You were lucky that I got assigned to this. Rude is really nice but he hardly talks. You would have been bored to sleep during the car ride, but he's a pretty good driver though and so is Tseng, he's always pleasant company. Reno is an awful driver, I swear he's going to get himself killed one of these days!" This is coming from someone who has not released the accelerator since we left and is currently checking her makeup in the rearview mirror instead of paying attention to the road.

I digress, a normal man wouldn't scream, because a normal man would have died of a heart attack before being able to do so.

The car comes to a screeching yet perfect halt and the tires smoke. "Here we are!" Elena reaches out to hold her ID card near a sensor on the tall marble pillars of the entrance and the heavy silver gates open.

We drive in slower now, until Elena stops in front of a mansion, with a wide smile on her face. I do not attempt to smile back this time when we exit the car.

"I hate Darla," Elena suddenly declares, "she's the designer and tailor," this statement puzzles me because she appears to be quite happy to be there. "She likes Tseng, but Tseng likes me!" Elena's smile became wider.

Suddenly, I understand, there was a rivalry between these two women for Tseng and in the end, Elena was chosen as the victor. Most likely, she enjoys rubbing it in.

The mansion's door flies open and there stands a woman, a man in a suit a few steps behind her. It seems the woman rushed to the door before the butler could open it. "You!" The woman pointed an accusing finger at Elena.

"Hi Darla!" Elena smiled deviously and I gave Darla an incredulous look, this was Elena's rival? That woman was in no condition to be anyone's rival with that ridiculous attire.

I am no fashion expert, nor do I care to become one, but even I know that a lime green tank top, a purple feather scarf, canary yellow pants and fuchsia platform sandals do not go well together. Actually, I'm pretty sure not one of those items goes well with anything. I cannot imagine Tseng, or anyone else I know, ever holding an interest for her. Then the reality hits me, this woman will be in charge of preparing my uniform. Is this some cruel joke?

After Elena and Darla exchange some snide remarks and fierce glares, we are led inside. The mansion is littered with abstract paintings and sculptures to suit Darla's unusual taste. It is all far too excessive and extravagant for my approval.

The studio is an eye sore with a multitude of brightly colored and absurdly patterned fabrics all over the place. In the center of the chaos, which would make a normal man's eyes become teary and pained, there is a barrel made of polished wood, with two golden rings around it.

"Okay, darling," Darla addresses me, "take off all your clothes and stand on the stage," she points to the barrel.

"Oh no you don't!" Elena steps in, "I know you're heartbroken and desperate and will not let you take advantage of this poor defenseless man!"

A poor defenseless man; is that how I am perceived? A poor defenseless man who deserves a second look only out of desperation? I suppose I should think it's better than being seen as a monster or an insane homicidal maniac, but I still find Elena's chosen description to be unpleasant and I should hope inaccurate.

"Now listen here! I am the designer, and I am the one who makes clothes for Rufus Shinra himself, and I am the one who owns this studio, and I am the one who will make Mr. Hot's clothes, and the one who decides how I will work!" Darla stomped her feet, the exaggerated platform shoes making loud noises.

"And I'm the one with the gun!" Darla threw her arms up as Elena aimed the gun at her face. "Just give Sephiroth some measuring tape and tell him what to measure, keep your distance or I'll blow your head off!"

I should advice Elena to be less violent and remind her that the Turks are not supposed to be this way anymore. However, just this once, I will ignore the voice of redemption in favor of the voice of survival, at least I won't have to deal with Darla and for that I am thankful. If by a miracle a normal man had managed to survive this far, he would be insane.

To be Continued

Disclaimer, I don't own Final Fantasy VII. In the games, there wasn't a lot of interaction between Sephiroth and Reno, but in our role play at the Shinra Database, all those characters interact in IC blog posts and comment on each other's posts about their lives working for Shinra. That is what inspired this story, though the role play is much more sane and IC, but totally hilarious. Special thanks and credit to Cherri, who plays Sephiroth at the RP. Cookies if you caught the reference in Step 01 to some of Jelanda's famous quotes in Valkyrie Profile.