Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Snow Drift ❯ Asking ( Chapter 19 )

Imari steps up to his front door he was walking a casual pace slowing when he felt a strange tingle in the air. It felt like someone had or is still using magic, though, he wouldn't know how he knew what the air felt like when magic has been infused with it. Turning the knob slowly, he removes a switch blade from his pocket flipping it out. Entering the home he looks around the darkness instantly spotting Pal laying on the floor, not unconscious or sleep but frozen. Flipping on the light switch by the door he rushes over to the birds aid; it must have been some type of break-in. Pal's golden eyes are still open, a look of rage in them. A slight movement caught his eye and he turned on it, instantly tossing the knife with excellent accuracy. It would have hit anyone else but Squall easily dodged it simply by turning his head.

"What are you doing in my home?" Imari growls until realization comes over his angered expression. Standing, he places his hands on his hips. "You're Kait's father, right?"

Squall only seemed to shift his weight in thought.

"Well, answer me?! And what the hell did you do to my bird?" He balls his fist wanting so badly to strike the man.

"So I'm Kait's father now?" Squall says quietly, a hint of bitterness in his tone but also sadness. "And you're Imari; that's how we're going to play this?"

Momentarily confused he holds up his hands in defense. "Don't get all weird on me, if you want me to stay away from your son just say so. I should tell you, though, I would never do anything to hurt him. I like Kait, he's a good kid; I'm not some damn sicko."

"I don't think you're a sicko." He shakes his head walking closer.

Imari took a step back. He can fight all right, but when it comes to something like magic he's out on his ass at standing a chance against it.

"How could you not say anything to us- to me?" Squall says getting closer with each slow step. "We all thought that you... that you were dead."

"What are you talking about?" Again he steps back. What the heck is wrong with this guy? First he breaks into his home, injures his pet/best friend, and has the nerve to wait around for him, but for what? If not to back him off of Kait, then is it to creep him out so that he does it on his own. Maybe he's a bit mental! Dangerous even!

"Was it a secret mission? Like that time Quistis and I had to pose as a couple in Deling, or when Zell had to live on the streets?" Imari bumped into the counter and Squall stopped right before him, looking up into the blank gaze of his lovers now older face. The scar on his cheek that Rinoa gave him on accident a slim nothing compared to the permanent gash Seifer has given him. His violet eyes look even more amazing then Squall remembered, his lovers thin kitty cat-like lips have little laugh lines next to them now and he seems an inch taller. 4 years without this man. 4 years without being loved by him and loving him in return. He's going to give Matron a good tongue lashing if this was her idea.

"What mission?"

"Irvine, you can stop the charade now. Its over, we've found you- so please, come back with us to Balamb."

"Irvine?" He questions. Rolling his eyes he says as he steps away from the pinned position he's in. "What is it with your family and this Irvine-legend?" He snickers. "Get it, play on words?"

Squall turns his head in the direction the man heads. "Why are you acting like this?"

"Acting like what?" His tone is leaning on annoyed. He doesn't have time to talk circles with someone who seems to think that he's the twin of this guy he and his kid like.

A loud shriek calls their attention as the Stop spell fades from the animal and it lifts shakily from the floor.

"Pal." The concern in his voice is evident as he grabs a hold of the bird, embracing it in his arms. "Are you alright?" The bird nuzzles his head beneath the man's chin.

Squall's heart ached to be the one held by the cowboy instead of that weird bird. "I'm sorry that Seifer did that, but he was going to attack us."

"Us? So you brought the whole fleet. Where are they? Upstairs looking for stuff to break?"

"Irvine, why are you acting like this?" He asks again walking over to the man. "We miss you- for fucks sake we believe that you're dead but you've been out here this entire time, living under an assumed name. Now what the hell is going on with you?"

Taking in a deep breath to steady his anger he calmly lets it out through his nose. "I'll tell you this one time so you'd better listen; my name is Imari Karver not Irvine, I've never been Irvine, I don't know Irvine, and from what I can tell I'm not anybodies twin. So please, just leave. You've done enough damage."

"You can't be serious?" Grabbing him by the arm he jerks the man's chin in his direction so that he looks at him. "You really don't know who I am?"

"Should I?" Pulling his arm free he sets the bird down on its perch, placing the ankle chain to its leg so that he doesn't attack the man who seems hell bent on staying to question him or accuse him or whatever the hell he's doing there.

"...Yes." Grabbing the man by the arms again he shakes him a bit. "Look at me, damn it! Tell me who I am! Whats my favorite food?! Favorite book!? The nickname you gave me?!"

Rolling his eyes he says. "I know that your name is Squall, Kait told me that. You have friends named Seifer and Rinoa." He shrugs. "That's all I know."

Looking up into his lovers eyes he sees no sign of a lie, no sign of anything but confusion and a bit of annoyance. He really doesn't know.

'He has amnesia. That would explain why he didn't come looking for us.' Releasing the man he blinks back the tears he feels forming.

Seeing this, Imari feels guilty. "If its any help, I'll keep an eye out for him." He shrugs.

Squall shakes his head. "You can't keep an eye out for him, because you are him. Imari," He takes a seat on the couch as if to say that he wasn't leaving without getting all his questions answered. "how did you get to where you are now? Were you always in Winhill?"

Taking a seat he leans back against the back of the sofa. "No. I didn't always live here. I spent a year with the shumi tribe. They were the ones who found me, laying out on the beach, half frozen to death." There's an odd stab of sadness in the man's words at that. "They helped me, healed me, and made me one of their own."

'That's why we couldn't find him at the site. He wasn't there. He hadn't drowned. He hadn't died...'

"After that, I started helping them make little things here and there; that lion and bird I gave to Kait- stuff like that." He thinks back to those days. "I felt cooped up after a while, I wanted to get out and spread my wings so I went out on deliveries. Eventually I moved away and have been living here for the past three years."

"And no one has said anything to you?" Shaking his head he adds "About the way you look?" to clear his question.

"What do you mean?"

"Recognized you from the papers, or television? I know, from then, it would have been two years back when it all went down but they must have had something click when they saw you."

"Not really, I mostly kept hidden- its a shumi thing- but the few times I did remove my hat," He looks up at the ceiling, face reflecting on all the weird feelings he used to have. "people asked me if they've seen me before. I thought that was impossible and moved on. Over the years, though, I have sort of been having these flashes come over me."

"Like what?"

"Like... Like I've said it before or eaten it, and it would rush to me but then it would fade away just as soon as it came on."

Nodding Squall says. "You must have been trying to remember, or at least you were absently remembering."

"You're trying to say that I do know you?"

"Imari, you are Irvine Kinneas, you just have amnesia."

"Irvine Kinneas... I.K." Standing he waves a hand. "Come upstairs with me, I wanna show you something."

Standing he follows the male to the bedroom. Irvine walks over to the closet opening it and there, inside, are his duster, a vest, and a pair of jeans. In other words, everything that he was wearing the day he'd disappeared.

"Elder said that I was wearing this when I was found, and when I left he gave it to me and said that they would help me find my way but every time I stare at them or try to remember I get nothing... Nothing at all. You can only ask questions without answers for so long, you know?"

Touching the clothing as if Irvine were inside of them his hand comes to rest at his side. "You love this coat, maybe not as much as you love your hat but... no matter how many times I would tell you to get a new one, you'd always tell me you're sticking with what you know and love. That its easier."

"He sounds like a good guy- odd, maybe, but good."

"Irvine-.." An agitated sigh exhales from him as he corrects himself. "Imari, please listen to me about this; I know that you're a new person and you have a new life but you've left behind a pretty damn good one without even knowing it."

Lowering his dual gaze to the floor, he wets his mouth nervously before saying in a quiet voice. "This life you talk about... was I? ...I mean, did I ever want to kill myself?"

Shocked by the odd question, Squall shakes his head. "No. If anything you'd fail at it if you ever tried." A soft smile comes across his lips. "You're so full of life, you'd have at least fifty spare if you ever lost one ...I never could keep up with you and your need to be alive- better to dump you off on Zell whose got just as much to compete with."

Imari blinks as he watches this strange man release tears while at the same time shake with quieted laughter. Thinking that the man might go insane at any minute, he couldn't help himself from smiling at the male's odd, but nice, laughter. So much so that he even laughs as well. This time its Squall's turn to be surprised and shocked by the oddity of Irvine Kinneas actually laughing. Its... well its just a weird sound. Irvine laughs but its quaint laughter not like this loud chuckle. He had always secretly thought it was cute how someone so happy can't laugh properly to save his life. Irony, he guessed. Ceasing his own laughter due to inadvertant staring, Imari wipes his leaking eyes, stilling his laughter as well.

"What was so funny?" He asks when calmed down.

"I don't know." He looks into the man's face. "It just hit me how we've all missed you and you've been alive all this time."

"Oh..."

There's silence between them; mentally their words were shouting to be heard but verbally their lips were cealed.

"...I know that you don't remember, and I can't force you to but... please, come back with us to Balamb." Squall's sincerity bleed through his words hoping to be oblidged. "We all miss you so damn much, I miss you. ...Imari... I'll answer any questions that you may have, just please come back."

Imari looks into the man's two colored eyes, something about them just spoke to him. It reminded him of the carving of the lion that he'd made without understanding why. Blue and gray stone, tough but tender. He couldn't just say 'no', it would be wrong of him. When he's had so many questions and little anwers. And he's had a major one answered, he wasn't on the beach because of a botched suicide, he's missed, he's loved. It would be wrong to have people continue to hurt just because he can't remember that life or time; only knowing of his here from then to now as Imari. But he's loved and not alone as all his visions have shown him. He owes it to them to at least assure them that he's ok, even if he can't be this Irvine. He can still be their friend.

"I'll come back with you."

Smiling, he can't hardly breath as his silent breaths become audibly as they cause his chest to rise and fall a little too hard. Its almost making him light headed. "You will?"

"Yeah," A laugh huffs from him. "Its not as if I'm doing anything here that I can't just do there, but..."

"But what?"

"I don't have much money to stay at a hotel for very long so-..."

"You don't have to worry about money; you'll be staying with Kait and me in our apartment."

"...Oh. ...Alright. But, can I have a week to say goodbye to the people I've met? The shumi's and my friends here?"

He wanted so badly to say 'no', they've gone without Irvine long enough- he's gone without him long enough. But it would be rude of him to take him from the life he's known since his disappearance it would be nothing short of abducting someone. With a nod he turns away to leave.

"Squall?"

The way he froze wasn't due to his being called, but the way he was called; no familiarity in the tone, just his name. It burned.

"Its a long walk to the hotel... might be dangerous out there too and, since you're offering me a place to stay with you, you can stay with me tonight."

Looking at the man, over his shoulder, he thinks it over.

"You can take the bed." He offers.

"I couldn't take your bed; I've seen your couch, you'd be uncomfortable."

He shrugs. "You've come so far to find me or someone inside of me; its the least I can do."

"I don't trust myself to stay."

Furrowed brows join the confused look on his face over the comment. Why can't he trust his self? Will he pop him over the head and drag him to Balamb or something. That seemed unlikely, although, he did bring his friends with him. "Okay. I'll see you in a week then."

"Yeah. ...Imari? Don't forget."

"I won't."

With a small smile he heads downstairs, leaving the house. Looking up into the night sky he can feel a grin coming over his face. 'He's alive... Irvine's alive!' Eyes closed he laughs merrily for a moment, composing himself so that he can return to the hotel to tell the others. Plus he has to think of what he's going to tell Kait. 'I hope he can understand. I've built Irvine up to be such a character in a story rather than a man; will Kait be able to handle the switch in image? I don't wanna shock him all of a sudden with this. Irvine wanted a week, that should be enough time for it all to sink in for him- I hope.'

Arriving at the Inn he checks in, receiving a key to the room he's sharing with Selphie, the happy male heads upstairs. He can hear his friends voices coming from a single room and upon reaching it he knocks on the door.

"Squall?" Quistis steps aside to let the male through. "Did Imari show up? Was it Irvine?"

"He did and he is." He takes a seat on the bed.

"It is!?" Selphie pops down beside him, hand on his shoulder to shake out answers. "Where is he? Isn't he coming back with us?"

"He has amnesia. He really does believe he's Imari Karver."

"Bull shit. Kinneas is playing games with you." Seifer says brashly. "He likes this little lie life he's made for himself so now he has to play it up because Kait ratted him out."

Glaring at his rival, Squall lessens his rage understanding that Seifer is who he is and won't change for anyone. "No, he really does believe that he's someone else. Its in everything he does, the way he walks, the way he talks... you'd swear he was a native from the North not the South."

"Whoa, Irvine without that silly southern accent?" Zell tries to imagine it. "That must have sounded funny."

"It really does; he doesn't speak with his accent but I'm used to the low tone."

Anyone else would have blushed over revealing an intimate detail but Squall could only look perplexed over wonder of what he intends to tell Kait.

"Amnesia or not, he's Irvine and he has to come back with us." Quistis says.

"He is. He wanted a week to say good bye to all the people he knows."

"And you told him he could?" Seifer rolled his eyes so hard he tilted his head back with it. "If that were Zell I'd of clocked his ass over the head and dragged him back."

Laughing with a bit of embarrassment behind it the shorter blond says. "You make me feel so loved."

"We can't all be caveman, Seifer. It would be rude to take him away from the life he's known for years know. I could see if this just happened but he's been away from us just as long as we've been away from him. He needs to say good bye before we get Irvine back."

Crossing her arms Quistis shakes her head in dismay. "All these years... and we kept trying to convince you that he was..." She couldn't finish the sentence. "I'm sorry Squall."

Selphie chimes in. "Yeah sorry." Pouting hard enough to crack her wrinkle free face, she says. "I feel so mad at myself for doubting you."

"Yeah, yeah, boo-boos and band-aids, whoop-dee-doo! Are we leaving this middle-of-nowhere rat hole or waiting it out?" Seifer leans against the wall, arms and ankles crossed.

"I wanna go back; I have to talk to Kait about Irvine staying with us. I don't know how he's gonna take it."

"Kait's a sweet kid, he should do alright." Rinoa pats Squall on the shoulder.

"Mmm. Rinoa, can you cut my hair for me?"

"Sure." She blinks absently wondering what hair has to do with anything right now; but she then guessed that he wanted to look his best for the man he loves, not to mention, look like the one the man he loves remembers. He's had grown out hair for a while now, they're all used to it, but if Irvine really has amnesia he won't ever be able to remember Squall if he looks different in some ways. As far as Rinoa knows most people with amnesia want reminders of their old lives to jog their memory; she just hoped she had a pair of scissors.

Grabbing the male by the wrist she takes him into her bedroom to search through her travel bag. Luckily, being in the military, has her prepared for strange things that normally she never would do, or have. Combing and parting his hair, she makes precise snips and clips after chopping off a good chunk of the, 6 inches in length, low ponytail.

"Squall?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry if any of this becomes hard for you but, you have to give Irvine the benefit of circumstance."

"I am."

"...What I mean is, Irvine has been away from us for four years... He's a different man now, with a different life style."

"What are you getting at?"

"What I mean is... he may not remember your relationship. Imari Karver might be straight, or seeing someone."

Squall's blood turned cold. He hadn't even thought of that. He just naturally assumed that Irvine had become a hermit of sorts when it came to sex and romance. But... what if what Rinoa said is...

"Would you be upset?" She says calmly. "Because I think that you should take it easy on him, much like you're going to ease Kait into you should ease Irvine into it. Too much shock could end up hurting him, or pushing him away because he can't process it like we want him to."

"I want to say that it'll go smoothly and that I won't pressure him but, Rinoa, you're kind of scaring me." He turns in the seat to face her once she brushes her hand down the back of shirt to remove the fallen hairs. "I don't wanna go home thinking that Irvine might be saying good bye to some woman or man that he's been seeing as Imari. How the hell can I sleep with that on my mind?"

"I didn't mean to upset you, I just think that you should consider this whole thing from every stand point." She waves her hands defensively. "I could be wrong and Irvine could have been busy the entire time he was away from us, and when you're busy who has time for love- ask any business man."

"Not good enough; I'm leaving." Standing, he heads into the bedroom. "Thank you for cutting my hair. If the others ask, I went back to Irvine's they can just go ahead home without me if they wanna leave tonight. But I'm not going anywhere until I get some answers."

The door slams in his departure. Rinoa bites her lip in contemplation. "Definitely should have waited for that conversation."

...

Slipping into his pajamas, Zell adjust them before climbing into bed beside a naked Seifer. "Do you really think Irvine has amnesia? Or do you think he's faking it?"

"Maybe, but" He whistles. "four fucking years away. Kinneas could never do it, he's too... into people most of the time. It sucks if he's lying sucks more if he really has amnesia."

"We should tell him to come home with us sooner. Giving him a week might only make him change his mind about it because he'll know what he's giving up."

"Naah, the guys life can't be all that great if he lives in a place like this." Wrapping his arm around his lovers stomach, he kisses him on the back of the neck, closing his eyes. "Night, Dinky."

"Night." He closes his eyes still believing that forceful is the way to go. Selphie would agree with him. He hoped that Squall could manage a week now that he knows.

...

Imari was just about to go to bed once he finished drying his hair after the shower, but the loud banging on the door ceased his activity. Crossing his bedroom he walks downstairs to the front door, pulling it open he looks surprised a moment as an angered Squall comes barging in.

"Did you get lost?" He turns on the lamp in the living room.

Squall is momentarily paused with silence seeing his lover in nothing but pajama pants. Imari has been working out in ways Irvine did not, apparenrtly travel and delivering things involves heavy lifting and as far as the chest and torso go... Shaking his head to clear the haze he says. "No. I've changed my mind about staying the night. I don't mind the couch if you'll offer it to me."

"Go ahead." He says as if not buying the story but then he didn't really have grounds to ask too many questions so why not leave it alone. Running the towel through his hair he figures he may as well chat with the man until he's ready to turn in. Taking a seat on the soon-to-be bed he drops the damp towel onto the coffee table. "I hate doing this mess, its impossible when its wet." He grabs a brush from the side table running it harshly through the thick tangle that he, once again, plans to cut off.

Smiling, he found it odd how Imari hated Irvine's beloved hair and funny how he couldn't seem to manage it. He'd noticed how ragged and unkempt it was when he'd seen him earlier. "Here." He says hoping to salvage his lovers hair. "Let me do it."

Reserved for a moment, the man reluctantly hands over the brush, turning side ways in his seat to give the man access.

Shaking hands pick up the end of Irvine's hair; the warmth of the mans shower is still coming off of him. Squall has to tell himself over and over to focus so that he doesn't end up fucking the man into dust. Its easy not to think about sex when you're alone and have a child but alone with the man you love its number one on both heads' list. The brush goes through his hair with a little struggle but easily enough as well.

"I noticed that you cut your hair; do you have a hard time with it too?"

"No. I just thought it was time to go back to being me."

"Hm?"

Squall shrugs. "It grew out when I was raising Kait; its easy to forget about self maintanance when you have a baby to raise alone."

"Its noble of you to adopt a child- or was he a serogate?"

Squall snickers. "Hyne no, not from the women I know, and I wouldn't trust any random woman." His hands move up; fingers accidently brushing the male's bare back. He wets his mouth and continues talking. "Actually, you were the one who found Kait."

"Oh yeah?"

"We were on a mission- an exterminating mission, and you got distracted as you often do and because of that you ended up seeing a baby stuck up in a tree. His mother or father left him up there in a mail sack and took off. Seifer and I later found the father dead, nothing on the mother even after four years."

"Hmhm, you really are a hero."

"No. I wanted Kait to keep me from losing my mind over missing you. I wanted Kait to know the man who saved him, and loved him right away without question or hesitate."

"You hesitated?"

"I resisted as hard as I could. I wasn't ready to even tease about having a child but now... I love him more than anything."

"I could tell that."

"Really? You've seen us together?"

"I had to make sure little bird made it safely over to you."

Snickering Squall asks. "He's got to you too, huh? I started calling him little bird when he was about two. He loved hearing stories about Cowboy Irvine and the adventures he's had, some made up, some real missions we've been on. He liked the one I told about you in the Chocobo race and he's been cheep, cheep, cheeping around the house and you know..." He trails off with a shrug.

Imari laughs picturing the two year old boy walking around the house pretending to be one of those big old birds.

Swallowing hard; he's unsure of how to ask such a thing and not sound rude or intrussive of the man's private life. But he has to know or he'll never be able to rest and the last thing he wants are his insomniac days to come back when he's such a good sleeper usually. War was nothing compared to emotional bog and you always wonder if you're doing the right things when in a relationship but he was assured time and time again that yes, his love his the right way.

"Was I seeing anybody?"

That through Squall for a loop. He didn't think that Imari would be the one to bring it up. Playing it cool he asks. "Why do you wanna know?"

The amnesiac shrugs. "I would just feel guilty if I were seeing someone and there was someone back there who loved me or was married to me and well, you know, I'd cheat on them- ow! Careful."

"Sorry. Tangle." He lied as he had actually just popped the male with the brush. "You weren't married, but you were- are, seeing someone."

"Who?"

"Do you really wanna know?"

Nodding he says. "Sure I wanna know. I think I owe them an apology for being away, and then going and getting a crush on someone."

His heart began to beat rapidily. "A crush?"

"Yeah, but I never got to tell her- thank Hyne; it turns out she was married and had kids! How embarrassing that would have been to tell her that I like her and want a date then she laughs." He then snickers. "Kait said I should like boys if women don't work out- like you."

"How would you feel about something like that?" He's through brushing Irvine's hair and has to hide his bitterness when the male turns to face him.

"I'd be fine with it, I guess, I mean, I've lived with the shumi tribe for a year- not a woman in sight and I loved it." He looks off into space. "I asked once, how they felt about two men being together. They said its never come up, they don't care."

"Did you... like a shumi?" A shumi woman? Do shumi have women?!

"No. I picked on my friend about it, though, the guy has a crush on someone so I teased him about it." Running his fingers through his hair. "Nice job. I should hire you to manage this stuff instead of cutting it again."

That knocked Squall from his stupor of Irvine being in another relationship. Irvine, cut his hair?

"So, are you gonna tell me who or do I have to guess?"

Placing a hand on the man's cheek he whispers. "I'll show you."

His lips part in a gasp as Squall's come into contact with them.