Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Something About Sephy ❯ Need A Car ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Two: Need A Car
Sephiroth: I hate mornings...*large yawn*
Loz: *pours vodka over cocoa puffs* I hear that.
Yazoo: *shoves spoonful of Trix in his mouth* Hmmm...
Sephiroth: So as I see it, if we leave right now, we can make it there by tommorrow night. *large yawn*
Yazoo: *yawns*
Loz: *loud yawn*
Kadaj: *yawn*
Sephiroth: *yawns again*
Loz: *teary yawn*
(Authoress: *yawn*)
Kadaj: *yawn* God dammit! Stop yawning!
Loz: *yawns* Can't help it.
Yazoo: *soft yawn* It's a virus I say.
Kadaj: *rolls eyes* Anyways, there seems to be a little flaw in your plan, Seph.
Sephiroth: And that would be?
Kadaj: We don't have a car.
Sephiroth: Shit, you're right...dammit.
Yazoo: *raises hand* You could ask the Authoress for one of hers.
Sephiroth: *looks at Yazoo like he's the Devil* Are you kidding me?!
Yazoo: Why?
Sephiroth: Never.
Loz: Why Seph?
(Authoress: *evil grin* Yeah, why Seph?)
Sephiroth: She'll want me to beg.
Kadaj: And that's a problem because...?
Sephiroth: The GREAT Sephiroth does NOT beg.
Yazoo: Aw c'mon Seph. What's a little beggins anyways to a billion dollar fortune?
Sephiroth: I never beg.
(Authoress: *whistles innocently and places blackmail pictures behind her back* I'll just tuck these away for later...*)
Loz: Just do it.
Sephiroth: No.
Yazoo: Sephiroth!
Sephiroth: No!
Kadaj: Please Seph!
Sephiroth: Over my dead sexy body will I beg that woman!
(Authoress: *drools* Ah not again...*wipes drool*)
Kadaj: It's only a little bit!
Yazoo: And there's no guarentee that she'll want you to beg her anyways!
Sephiroth: No, no, no, no, NO, NOOO!!!!
Loz: I'll give ya twenty bucks if you ask her.
Sephiroth: *rolls eyes* Still a no.
Yazoo: All you have to do is say, 'Riley-sama, will you give us a car so we can get to Black Death Manor?'
Sephiroth: The word 'No' doesn't consist in your vocabularies does it?
Kadaj: ...that's besides the point...
Yazoo: What's wrong with a little begging anyways?
Sephiroth: She gets some sort of sick pleasure out of seeing me beg.
(Authoress: Who me? *innocent look*)
Loz: It can't be that bad.
Sephiroth: No, it's worse.
Yazoo: Fine, I'll ask her.
Kadaj: He's the closest thing to Seph we'll get to begging...
*Yazoo dissapears and reappears in a matter of five seconds*
Sephiroth: Well?
Yazoo: She says she wants Sephiroth to ask.
Sephiroth: Goddammit, I refuse to beg! I am not a begger! And no maliciously evil girl is going to get me to beg! I am the GREAT SEPHIROTH! GENERAL OF SHINRA, MASTER OF THE MORTALS! *backround gets set on fire again but Yazoo puts it out* I do not beg!
(Authoress: *cracks neck* We'll see about that..)
FIVE MINUTES LATER
Sephiroth: Please oh grand mighty *mumbles evil, and spawn of satan* adorably cute ruler of the universe! May I have a car?
Riley: Eh, why not. *pulls out camera and takes picture of Sephiroth begging* One for the books. *evil grin*
Sephiroth: *gets returned* O_O
Yazoo: So?
Kadaj: Do we get the car?
Sephiroth: I feel so dirty.
Loz: Hey man, you okay?
Sephiroth: *lies on floor in fetal position and rocks back and forth* Lalalala...
Kadaj: He really hates begging.
Yazoo: *holds up screen to block audience from mentally scarred Sephiroth* Nothing to see here.
(Authoress: Aw, c'mon it wasn't that bad!)
Kadaj: Sephiroth, would you feel better terrorizing a mere mortal?
Sephiroth: *nods*
Kadaj: BRING IN THE MORTAL!
Random Dude: *confused* Where am I?
Sephiroth: BOW TO ME MORTAL OR FEEL THE WRATH OF THE MASAMUNE!!
Random Dude: *bowing like his life depended on it* YES SIR!
Kadaj: There's the Seph we all know and love.
Yazoo: Alright then, lets pack up and Seph you can drive us there.
Sephiroth: *pauses* Um...see there's another problem.
Loz: *rolls eyes* What now?
Sephiroth: I never really got my liscense...
Everyone: ...
Sephiroth: I only have my permit...
Random Dude: *bursts out laughing*
Sephiroth: *glares and sets Random Dude on fire* Bastard.
Random Dude: *coughs charcol and faints*
Yazoo: How is it that the Great General Sephiroth, feared warrior on the battlefield, doesn't have his liscense.
Sephiroth: Well...they banned me from the DMV.
Kadaj: How may I ask do you get banned from the DMV?
Sephiroth: Well to keep a long story short, the driving instructor kept forgetting my name so I parallel parked my car on the tracks of a train set the car on fire and well, the rest is history.
Everyone: ...
Loz: Hell yeah! Did he remember your name after that?
Sephiroth: Yeah, I signed his full body cast and his life support machiene.
Kadaj: Well now I can see why you got kicked out.
Yazoo: So who's gonna drive?
Kadaj: I guess you'll have to.
Yazoo: Why me?
Kadaj: Because I also only have my permit, and Loz is under the influence of alcohol.
Yazoo: Point taken.
Sephiroth: That damn authoress better have given us a good car.
Kadaj: Careful what you say about the authoress Seph.
Sephiroth: Oh, what's she gonna do about it? The spoiled, immature, childish-
*Bolt of lightning strikes Sephiroth*
Yazoo: He may be the Great Sephiroth...
Kadaj: ...but she's the Great Riley.
Sephiroth: *coughs* Mother (censored) Authoress.
Kadaj: Wait a second, I thought I (censored) destroyed that (censored) censoring machiene?
Yazoo: Apparently she had a spare.
***
Riley: *bound to a chair* Lemme go!
Sephiroth: *fake ponders* Nah.
Hojo: *sharpens tools*
Riley: HELP ME!...and REVIEW!
Sephiroth: I hate mornings...*large yawn*
Loz: *pours vodka over cocoa puffs* I hear that.
Yazoo: *shoves spoonful of Trix in his mouth* Hmmm...
Sephiroth: So as I see it, if we leave right now, we can make it there by tommorrow night. *large yawn*
Yazoo: *yawns*
Loz: *loud yawn*
Kadaj: *yawn*
Sephiroth: *yawns again*
Loz: *teary yawn*
(Authoress: *yawn*)
Kadaj: *yawn* God dammit! Stop yawning!
Loz: *yawns* Can't help it.
Yazoo: *soft yawn* It's a virus I say.
Kadaj: *rolls eyes* Anyways, there seems to be a little flaw in your plan, Seph.
Sephiroth: And that would be?
Kadaj: We don't have a car.
Sephiroth: Shit, you're right...dammit.
Yazoo: *raises hand* You could ask the Authoress for one of hers.
Sephiroth: *looks at Yazoo like he's the Devil* Are you kidding me?!
Yazoo: Why?
Sephiroth: Never.
Loz: Why Seph?
(Authoress: *evil grin* Yeah, why Seph?)
Sephiroth: She'll want me to beg.
Kadaj: And that's a problem because...?
Sephiroth: The GREAT Sephiroth does NOT beg.
Yazoo: Aw c'mon Seph. What's a little beggins anyways to a billion dollar fortune?
Sephiroth: I never beg.
(Authoress: *whistles innocently and places blackmail pictures behind her back* I'll just tuck these away for later...*)
Loz: Just do it.
Sephiroth: No.
Yazoo: Sephiroth!
Sephiroth: No!
Kadaj: Please Seph!
Sephiroth: Over my dead sexy body will I beg that woman!
(Authoress: *drools* Ah not again...*wipes drool*)
Kadaj: It's only a little bit!
Yazoo: And there's no guarentee that she'll want you to beg her anyways!
Sephiroth: No, no, no, no, NO, NOOO!!!!
Loz: I'll give ya twenty bucks if you ask her.
Sephiroth: *rolls eyes* Still a no.
Yazoo: All you have to do is say, 'Riley-sama, will you give us a car so we can get to Black Death Manor?'
Sephiroth: The word 'No' doesn't consist in your vocabularies does it?
Kadaj: ...that's besides the point...
Yazoo: What's wrong with a little begging anyways?
Sephiroth: She gets some sort of sick pleasure out of seeing me beg.
(Authoress: Who me? *innocent look*)
Loz: It can't be that bad.
Sephiroth: No, it's worse.
Yazoo: Fine, I'll ask her.
Kadaj: He's the closest thing to Seph we'll get to begging...
*Yazoo dissapears and reappears in a matter of five seconds*
Sephiroth: Well?
Yazoo: She says she wants Sephiroth to ask.
Sephiroth: Goddammit, I refuse to beg! I am not a begger! And no maliciously evil girl is going to get me to beg! I am the GREAT SEPHIROTH! GENERAL OF SHINRA, MASTER OF THE MORTALS! *backround gets set on fire again but Yazoo puts it out* I do not beg!
(Authoress: *cracks neck* We'll see about that..)
FIVE MINUTES LATER
Sephiroth: Please oh grand mighty *mumbles evil, and spawn of satan* adorably cute ruler of the universe! May I have a car?
Riley: Eh, why not. *pulls out camera and takes picture of Sephiroth begging* One for the books. *evil grin*
Sephiroth: *gets returned* O_O
Yazoo: So?
Kadaj: Do we get the car?
Sephiroth: I feel so dirty.
Loz: Hey man, you okay?
Sephiroth: *lies on floor in fetal position and rocks back and forth* Lalalala...
Kadaj: He really hates begging.
Yazoo: *holds up screen to block audience from mentally scarred Sephiroth* Nothing to see here.
(Authoress: Aw, c'mon it wasn't that bad!)
Kadaj: Sephiroth, would you feel better terrorizing a mere mortal?
Sephiroth: *nods*
Kadaj: BRING IN THE MORTAL!
Random Dude: *confused* Where am I?
Sephiroth: BOW TO ME MORTAL OR FEEL THE WRATH OF THE MASAMUNE!!
Random Dude: *bowing like his life depended on it* YES SIR!
Kadaj: There's the Seph we all know and love.
Yazoo: Alright then, lets pack up and Seph you can drive us there.
Sephiroth: *pauses* Um...see there's another problem.
Loz: *rolls eyes* What now?
Sephiroth: I never really got my liscense...
Everyone: ...
Sephiroth: I only have my permit...
Random Dude: *bursts out laughing*
Sephiroth: *glares and sets Random Dude on fire* Bastard.
Random Dude: *coughs charcol and faints*
Yazoo: How is it that the Great General Sephiroth, feared warrior on the battlefield, doesn't have his liscense.
Sephiroth: Well...they banned me from the DMV.
Kadaj: How may I ask do you get banned from the DMV?
Sephiroth: Well to keep a long story short, the driving instructor kept forgetting my name so I parallel parked my car on the tracks of a train set the car on fire and well, the rest is history.
Everyone: ...
Loz: Hell yeah! Did he remember your name after that?
Sephiroth: Yeah, I signed his full body cast and his life support machiene.
Kadaj: Well now I can see why you got kicked out.
Yazoo: So who's gonna drive?
Kadaj: I guess you'll have to.
Yazoo: Why me?
Kadaj: Because I also only have my permit, and Loz is under the influence of alcohol.
Yazoo: Point taken.
Sephiroth: That damn authoress better have given us a good car.
Kadaj: Careful what you say about the authoress Seph.
Sephiroth: Oh, what's she gonna do about it? The spoiled, immature, childish-
*Bolt of lightning strikes Sephiroth*
Yazoo: He may be the Great Sephiroth...
Kadaj: ...but she's the Great Riley.
Sephiroth: *coughs* Mother (censored) Authoress.
Kadaj: Wait a second, I thought I (censored) destroyed that (censored) censoring machiene?
Yazoo: Apparently she had a spare.
***
Riley: *bound to a chair* Lemme go!
Sephiroth: *fake ponders* Nah.
Hojo: *sharpens tools*
Riley: HELP ME!...and REVIEW!