Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Haunted Circus ❯ Bowling for the Elderly ( Chapter 2 )

[ A - All Readers ]
SuperPandaGirl says: No! Not the Sock!!!

Panda: Salutations! Welcome to...

Riku: No! Don’t! He’s Robert’s evil twin!

Panda: Riku, are you watching Soap Operas again?

Riku: No, Charlene! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Panda: I guess I’ll have to do the disclaimer myself, then. I don’t own Riku...

Riku: What? What about Riku?

Panda: or Dr. Pepper, though I did own a can of it...but I drank that...or Kingdom Hearts...or the song On the Road Again...or a Haunted Carnival or a semi or a driver’s license.

**********

Panda was still driving and not paying attention to the road. “Hey, this is pretty nice! Riku hasn’t said a word for 7 hours! That paste really worked!”

Kairi rolled over the jar of paste. “Warning. Do not ingest. Is that a problem?”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing.” Panda was still looking behind her instead of at the road. Suddenly there was a big ‘thump’.

“I think you just ran over an old lady.” Sora peeked out the window looking into the front of the semi.

“Oh well, they didn’t have long to live, anyway. I just saved them money.” Panda checked her watch. “One more hour should do it.

Meanwhile, Kairi was trying to wrestle a can of Dr. Pepper away from Sora. “Stop! This is your 75th one!”

“I NEED SUGAR!!!!” Sora shrieked.

“How ‘bout some of that paste?” Panda called back, throwing Kairi another jar of paste.

“Yes!!!!” Kairi pinned Sora down and stated shoveling paste into his mouth.

“Hey, this is pretty good! Does it have...” Sora stopped mid-sentence.

“It’s sticking!” Kairi yelled.

“Oh yeah! Time for some tunes!” Panda reached down, keeping her eyes off the road, and switched on the radio. “Although this one isn’t homemade, it still rocks!”

Music started playing.

On the road again,
I just can’t wait to be
On the road again
The life I love is
Making music with my friends,
Oh I can’t wait to be
On the road again.

On the road again,
Like a band of gypsies
We go down the highway
We’re the best of friends,
Insisting that the world
Keep going our way...

Suddenly the music was interrupted by a strangled talking sound.

“Uh, I think the paste in Riku’s mouth is starting to un-stick...” Kairi kicked Riku with her foot.

“See? He didn’t ingest it. So there’s no problem! Plus, those Poison Help centers are overrated.” Panda was filing her nails instead of looking at the road...or holding onto the steering wheel.

“LOOK OUT! THERE’S A GROUP OF...” But poor Riku couldn’t finish his sentence as the semi seemed to go over a series of speed bumps.

“Those poor senior citizens didn’t stand a chance...” Riku sniffed.

“Yeah! Strike!” Panda pulled out a bowling score card and checked a STRIKE in one of the boxes. “How am I doing?”

Kairi consulted a clipboard. “Um...you have a score of 198.” She made some marks on the paper. “And...this is your 14th game, so...hey, this is your best score yet!”

“You guys are crazy! And how come the cops aren’t pulling you over?” Riku grabbed a can of Dr. Pepper.

“Don’t you just love Dr. Pepper? It’s so...Peppery!” Panda clapped her hands.

“You aren’t answering my question!” Riku almost choked on his soda as they hit some more ‘speed bumps’.

“It’s ’cause I’m a Pepper!” Panda made some more marks on her bowling sheet. “Hey Kairi, that was a spare.”

“You’re a Pepper? And would you stop doing that!” He grabbed Kairi’s clipboard.

“Yeah, it says so on my pajama pants.” Panda looked at her watch. “And according to my watch, which by the way has a picture of Bambi on it...”

“Oh, that movie is so sad!” Kairi said.

“Oh, I know! Especially when that guy shoots Bambi’s mom with the laser...” Panda started to say, but she was interrupted by Riku.

“It wasn’t a frickin’ laser! And it’s time for WHAT?!?”

“Oh, right. It’s time for...” Panda pressed a button on the steering wheel. “Disco! Come on, Riku, dance! Dance like you’ve never danced before!”

“I haven’t danced before! IT’S NOT THE SEVENTIES!!!!!!!! AND WHY THE HECK DO YOU HAVE A DISCO BALL IN THIS STUPID TRUCK?!?”

Suddenly, without warning, Sora jumped up. “Yeah! Disco! Woo hoo!” He started throwing around cans of Dr. Pepper, knocking out both Kairi and Riku.

“Hmm...this paste was supposed to last at least 5 more hours...” Panda read the label on another can of paste. Wait, why is all this paste in the truck? “Oh, wait, it says that it’s negated by...Dr. Pepper. Huh, that’s strange. Oh well.” Panda threw the paste into the back of the truck, where Sora was doing the Disco.

“Wha...” Riku started to sit up, but was hit by a flying jar of paste and fell back over.

“Go Sora, go Sora,” Panda started chanting as they drove past a sign that read “Carnival. 2 miles.”