Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Long Way Home ❯ Tidus ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Neon Ronin 
A lone Blitzball player recalls the fateful day he dove off the Highwind, and what happened afterward...
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Fantasy / Drama | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 04.06.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 315 | Status: Completed
A lone Blitzball player recalls the fateful day he dove off the Highwind, and what happened afterward...
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Fantasy / Drama | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 04.06.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 315 | Status: Completed
[A/N: This is my short take on various people’s emotions from the end of FFX to the end of FFX-2. Each chapter will devote itself to one character and then move on. I don’t own the characters, the games, the company, you’ve heard the disclaimer before.]
The Long Way Home
Tidus
It wasn’t fair. I didn’t want it to be happening. After all we had been through, the fighting to stay alive, the falsehoods of Yevon we’d exposed, the love we had found for each other in Macalania Woods, I couldn’t bear the fact that I was being taken away from her. I saw my hands begin to flicker and tried desperately to will them back, hoping the force of my own mind would keep me with her. But it wasn’t working, and it was at that point reality hit me in the face. There wasn’t anything I could do except murmer a pathetic apology to Yuna and make my way towards the edge of the Highwind. The sea of pyreflies that had once been Sin was glowing like a thousand bonfires, and I was drawn to it like a moth. In a way, I knew it was where I had to go, but in my mind I wanted to dive before I faded completely; I didn’t want her to watch me fade like an Unsent. It was all I could do to pull myself forward one step at a time; my heart was screaming at me to stay, to look her in the eye and tell her it was going to be all right. It was something I wanted to say, but couldn’t, because it was a lie.
Then I heard her boots pounding the deck of the airship and turned back just in time to see her jump into my arms, and for a brief millisecond, I felt a glimmer of hope that maybe it was all a dream, that my arms would be solid enough to catch her and hold onto her for dear life. Seconds later, she was lying on the deck of the ship behind me, face-first against the cold steel. The glimmer of hope flickered and vanished. It was no dream, and I hadn’t been able to catch her. I barely even felt the pressure of my nails digging into my palms as I clenched my fists and silently cursed myself, cursed the Fayth, cursed Seymour and just about anyone and anything I could think of. I wanted to blame them all for this, wanted so desperately to stay despite the fact that I knew I couldn’t. Miserable thoughts began to race through my head when I heard Yuna’s voice, soft and calm yet tinged with sadness, say three words that lifted me up and at the same time wrenched my heart: “I love you.”
They were words I had wanted to hear for the longest time, but I had wanted them to be under far different circumstances. I had been afraid to say them, at first for fear she might reject me, later because there had never been the time, but after the incident with the Fayth at Mount Gagazet, I was terrified. If I told her how much I cared for her and wanted to be by her side forever, only to disappear once the Fayth ceased dreaming, it would have torn her heart to pieces. Now she had confessed it to me; despite the fact I was disappearing, she had told me she loved me. For a fleeting moment, I felt my arms become whole once more, my heartbeat strengthen. I wanted to turn her around and tell her for myself right then and there, but once again I was scared. I couldn’t look her in the eyes for fear it would hurt her even more, and what words I had refused to come to me. But there was one thing I could do before I began to fade again. Hesitantly at first, I put my arms around her shoulders, hoping I would be able to hold on long enough for one last embrace.
I could feel her shoulders against my chest, and I knew she could feel me. It was a faint sensation, like when a limb falls asleep and you can’t feel with it 100%. But it was there. There was so much I wanted to say at that moment, but I knew I couldn’t. I wanted to just stay there as long as possible, holding onto Yuna as if it would make up for everything.
Then the feeling was gone. I couldn’t feel her anymore, and once again I knew the time was upon me. My body passed right through hers with hardly any resistance; I didn’t dare to look back lest I stay too long and hurt her even more. I could barely hear at that point, but I knew Rikku was hollering a desperate goodbye to me and Yuna was sniffling, trying to be brave and hold back tears. That was the point where I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer, and I had to go before I vanished before her eyes. Taking a deep breath, meaningless in my state of incorporeality, I broke into a run and plunged off the side of the ship into the sea of energy below. Everything was fading into pure white light- and for a brief second, I saw several familiar faces before me, almost welcoming me. Auron was there, and a man I assumed was Lord Braska… and my old man. And for the first time in all the years I’d known and hated him, he was smiling not derisively, not mockingly, none of the fake smiles I’d ever seen before. Before I knew it, he had extended his arm and we slapped hands, and I knew then what that smile was about. He was proud of me.
That’s when everything turned to white.
Everything was ending.
But…
Somehow, it didn’t end.
I had expected to fade to black, start to forget everything until gradually I was no longer aware at all. That’s the way I felt it should have been; if I was only a dream, and the Fayth awakened, then I would be nothing, right?
Wrong.
Watch over her. Don’t forget her.
Those were words I heard as I sank further into the stream of light and sound. I couldn’t recognize the voice at first, but it sounded like Braska- or at least, his voice from the spheres we had watched. Images began to flit past me, images of Zanarkand- my Zanarkand, not the ruined one. Soon the field of light began to dim, revealing a vast plain of flowers and cascading waterfalls, and that was when I knew I must be in the Farplane.
There may be a way back for you… but not now. Only when you have both proven it.
The second voice sounded like Auron, and I searched desperately to find its source, but I couldn’t see anyone. Just the occasional pyrefly floating across the fields of flowers. I tried to see if I could even see myself, but it was as if my body had turned to smoke. Sometimes I would fade into almost nothingness, other times only a faint glowing outline would be visible. I was beginning to wonder if Unsent felt like this when a series of shrill whistles pierced the air. I didn’t need to think twice, I knew it was Yuna, and I tried desperately to find the source. Another whistle pierced the air, and as it did an image appeared in a nearby waterfall. I remembered someone once telling me the waterways of Spira held some connection to the Farplane, and as I ran over to the water I could clearly see one of the docks in Luca. Yuna was standing there, and she was still whistling. I wasn’t thinking and I tried to jump into the waterfall, hoping I could swim up it and back to her, but I was thrown back by some unseen force. I tried again, but all I could do was press my hand against the water as if it were glass and shove with all my might. Time and again, I threw myself at the image, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go back to her. All I could do was watch as Lulu led her back towards the stadium, when I felt a small hand on my shoulder.
“Be patient,” the boy in the hooded shirt said as I stood up. “For now, you can only watch. But there will come a time when she will need you once more. When that happens…” The Fayth began to fade, and I was vaguely aware that I was fading too.
“We’ll have to find out when the time is right.”
I felt like I was falling asleep.
My heart grew calm…
The anger in me faded.
The bad memories slowly receded to the back of my mind, replaced by the good ones. I felt like I was floating in absolute nothingness…
I don’t know how long I was in that state before the scream woke me up. It felt like a shockwave through my entire body, and then a series of images began flashing through my mind that made me jump. Somehow, Yuna was lost in the Farplane, either by accident or because something had dragged her there. I stared into the darkness that had suddenly engulfed everything around me. I couldn’t see anything at all… but I could feel Yuna’s presence, and I knew she wanted out. How she got here or what she was doing, I hadn’t a clue, but I knew I had to get her out of there even if she couldn’t see me.
I’m not sure how I became aware of the path of rocks that led to the surface, rocks hidden by the darkness and the general illusions of beauty that usually pervaded the Farplane. Still they were there- but I needed to lead Yuna to them, I needed something she would recognize.
The whistle.
That’s how I could lead her back to the surface. Even if she couldn’t see me- and I wasn’t sure if she would- she could hear me. It was all I could do for her; I couldn’t take her by the hand despite my longing to do so. I could only barely see my way to lead her back; I couldn’t even see her face in the blackness.
Then, before I knew it, she was gone and I was falling into a slumber once again. But this time it wasn’t as sustained as before. I wanted to stay awake, to properly see her, to call out her name once more. I kept fading in and out, and I wasn’t sure if she would return to the Farplane. I knew something else was there, something massive, but it was far removed, in the deepest depths where I had never been. There wasn’t anything I could do except what she had done before, on the docks at Luca. When I was aware of things, I would concentrate as hard as I could and whistle before I fell asleep again. It was stupid, it was desperate, and it was all I could think of.
Then the darkness peeled away.
I felt a pulse in my ears again.
I felt the cool embrace of water all around me.
A few blinks, a stretch, and I realized I wasn’t part of the Farplane anymore. I was solid, and I was floating in the ocean with light filtering down from the surface. At first I thought it was a hallucination, but the sudden burning in my lungs told me otherwise. Hoping it was real, I kicked up through the water, swimming to the surface as fast as I possibly could. The second I broke the surface, I knew exactly where I was, and it never looked so good before. Even with all the sights Zanarkand might have had to offer, they were nothing compared to the natural beauty of Besaid. For a moment, I just put my head back and reveled in the sensations flowing over me. I could hear, I could see clearly, I could feel again. I was alive. Or at least it felt that way, and at the moment, that was all that mattered.
How it happened, I didn’t know, and frankly, I didn’t care.
It wasn’t long before I was swimming to shore, trying to figure out how to best present myself. I had no idea how long it had been, or if Yuna was even here anymore. Had they moved on? Or did they still remember? I was just wondering what Wakka had been up to all this time, or Lulu or Rikku, when I heard a low rumble echoing out of the sky. Turning around, I couldn’t help but notice a bright red object- my first guess was an airship, though it sure didn’t look like the Highwind- coming towards the island. At first I was more than a bit surprised that another airship had surfaced in Spira, then I noticed it duck in low and start to skim over the water, preparing to make the shallowest landing I’d ever seen.
I don’t mind saying it now, I thought that ship was going to squash me before I even got a chance to see anyone! The next thing I knew, water was spraying everywhere as the ship touched down, skidding to a halt right near the beach. I winced and covered my eyes, partly irritated but also relieved to be able to feel it. Between the crash of the landing and the whine of the jets, I was only vaguely aware of a bizarre sound like a hatch opening, somewhere just above me. Then another splash, followed by a series of splashes… Someone was running towards me. I glanced up…
It was her. In an outfit I was completely unfamiliar with, dashing through the shallows with a huge smile on her face. I can only guess my smile was just as big as I stepped forward, arms outstretched. Then a sudden panic hit me- and I hoped beyond all other hopes that it wouldn’t be like last time. I didn’t want everything to fall apart at the last second and just have her fall through me once again. I didn’t want this to all be for nothing.
I shouldn’t have worried. A few more strides and we were in each other’s arms. I could feel her arms around my shoulders, her head on my chest. It was a moment I’d been wishing for ever since that day, and I didn’t want it to end. For a moment, the two of us just stood there with our arms wrapped around each other, motionless and wordless.
There was so much I wanted to say, but I had no idea where to begin. What could I tell her? Should I apologize? Should I tell her that I missed her, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell her how much I love her?
In the end, she gave me the answer when she asked, almost in a whisper, “Are you real?”
That’s what she needed right now above all else, I guessed. Reassurance that I was back, not a ghost or an Unsent. Of course, I still wasn’t totally sure of myself at the time; all I could say was, “I think so.”
She pulled back just a few inches, glancing over me, almost as if she expected me to start fading again. A moment or two passed, and I started to worry that something was amiss. I figured I had to say something before it got too awkward, so I said, half-jokingly, “Do I pass?” I felt like such an idiot once the words were out of my mouth, and I could just imagine Lulu rolling her eyes the way she had on the Pilgrimage. But something about it made Yuna smile and nod, as if the way I said it was reassurance enough for her.
“You’re back,” she said, and I could barely make out a tear forming at the corners of her beautiful bicolored eyes. That’s when I knew this was no illusion. It was real. I was real. Not even all the time spent in the dream version of Zanarkand compared to this one small corner of Spira.
“I am back,” I replied, hugging Yuna closer to me as she wrapped her arms around my waist. It felt so right. I hadn’t forgotten her, and she hadn’t forgotten me. I didn’t need a dream city to keep me company anymore. Whatever the Fayth had done to grant me this, I knew I couldn’t thank them enough. “I’m home.”
My mother had once told me home is where the heart is. My heart belonged here, with Yuna. Nothing could ever change that.
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The Long Way Home
Tidus
It wasn’t fair. I didn’t want it to be happening. After all we had been through, the fighting to stay alive, the falsehoods of Yevon we’d exposed, the love we had found for each other in Macalania Woods, I couldn’t bear the fact that I was being taken away from her. I saw my hands begin to flicker and tried desperately to will them back, hoping the force of my own mind would keep me with her. But it wasn’t working, and it was at that point reality hit me in the face. There wasn’t anything I could do except murmer a pathetic apology to Yuna and make my way towards the edge of the Highwind. The sea of pyreflies that had once been Sin was glowing like a thousand bonfires, and I was drawn to it like a moth. In a way, I knew it was where I had to go, but in my mind I wanted to dive before I faded completely; I didn’t want her to watch me fade like an Unsent. It was all I could do to pull myself forward one step at a time; my heart was screaming at me to stay, to look her in the eye and tell her it was going to be all right. It was something I wanted to say, but couldn’t, because it was a lie.
Then I heard her boots pounding the deck of the airship and turned back just in time to see her jump into my arms, and for a brief millisecond, I felt a glimmer of hope that maybe it was all a dream, that my arms would be solid enough to catch her and hold onto her for dear life. Seconds later, she was lying on the deck of the ship behind me, face-first against the cold steel. The glimmer of hope flickered and vanished. It was no dream, and I hadn’t been able to catch her. I barely even felt the pressure of my nails digging into my palms as I clenched my fists and silently cursed myself, cursed the Fayth, cursed Seymour and just about anyone and anything I could think of. I wanted to blame them all for this, wanted so desperately to stay despite the fact that I knew I couldn’t. Miserable thoughts began to race through my head when I heard Yuna’s voice, soft and calm yet tinged with sadness, say three words that lifted me up and at the same time wrenched my heart: “I love you.”
They were words I had wanted to hear for the longest time, but I had wanted them to be under far different circumstances. I had been afraid to say them, at first for fear she might reject me, later because there had never been the time, but after the incident with the Fayth at Mount Gagazet, I was terrified. If I told her how much I cared for her and wanted to be by her side forever, only to disappear once the Fayth ceased dreaming, it would have torn her heart to pieces. Now she had confessed it to me; despite the fact I was disappearing, she had told me she loved me. For a fleeting moment, I felt my arms become whole once more, my heartbeat strengthen. I wanted to turn her around and tell her for myself right then and there, but once again I was scared. I couldn’t look her in the eyes for fear it would hurt her even more, and what words I had refused to come to me. But there was one thing I could do before I began to fade again. Hesitantly at first, I put my arms around her shoulders, hoping I would be able to hold on long enough for one last embrace.
I could feel her shoulders against my chest, and I knew she could feel me. It was a faint sensation, like when a limb falls asleep and you can’t feel with it 100%. But it was there. There was so much I wanted to say at that moment, but I knew I couldn’t. I wanted to just stay there as long as possible, holding onto Yuna as if it would make up for everything.
Then the feeling was gone. I couldn’t feel her anymore, and once again I knew the time was upon me. My body passed right through hers with hardly any resistance; I didn’t dare to look back lest I stay too long and hurt her even more. I could barely hear at that point, but I knew Rikku was hollering a desperate goodbye to me and Yuna was sniffling, trying to be brave and hold back tears. That was the point where I knew I couldn’t put it off any longer, and I had to go before I vanished before her eyes. Taking a deep breath, meaningless in my state of incorporeality, I broke into a run and plunged off the side of the ship into the sea of energy below. Everything was fading into pure white light- and for a brief second, I saw several familiar faces before me, almost welcoming me. Auron was there, and a man I assumed was Lord Braska… and my old man. And for the first time in all the years I’d known and hated him, he was smiling not derisively, not mockingly, none of the fake smiles I’d ever seen before. Before I knew it, he had extended his arm and we slapped hands, and I knew then what that smile was about. He was proud of me.
That’s when everything turned to white.
Everything was ending.
But…
Somehow, it didn’t end.
I had expected to fade to black, start to forget everything until gradually I was no longer aware at all. That’s the way I felt it should have been; if I was only a dream, and the Fayth awakened, then I would be nothing, right?
Wrong.
Watch over her. Don’t forget her.
Those were words I heard as I sank further into the stream of light and sound. I couldn’t recognize the voice at first, but it sounded like Braska- or at least, his voice from the spheres we had watched. Images began to flit past me, images of Zanarkand- my Zanarkand, not the ruined one. Soon the field of light began to dim, revealing a vast plain of flowers and cascading waterfalls, and that was when I knew I must be in the Farplane.
There may be a way back for you… but not now. Only when you have both proven it.
The second voice sounded like Auron, and I searched desperately to find its source, but I couldn’t see anyone. Just the occasional pyrefly floating across the fields of flowers. I tried to see if I could even see myself, but it was as if my body had turned to smoke. Sometimes I would fade into almost nothingness, other times only a faint glowing outline would be visible. I was beginning to wonder if Unsent felt like this when a series of shrill whistles pierced the air. I didn’t need to think twice, I knew it was Yuna, and I tried desperately to find the source. Another whistle pierced the air, and as it did an image appeared in a nearby waterfall. I remembered someone once telling me the waterways of Spira held some connection to the Farplane, and as I ran over to the water I could clearly see one of the docks in Luca. Yuna was standing there, and she was still whistling. I wasn’t thinking and I tried to jump into the waterfall, hoping I could swim up it and back to her, but I was thrown back by some unseen force. I tried again, but all I could do was press my hand against the water as if it were glass and shove with all my might. Time and again, I threw myself at the image, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go back to her. All I could do was watch as Lulu led her back towards the stadium, when I felt a small hand on my shoulder.
“Be patient,” the boy in the hooded shirt said as I stood up. “For now, you can only watch. But there will come a time when she will need you once more. When that happens…” The Fayth began to fade, and I was vaguely aware that I was fading too.
“We’ll have to find out when the time is right.”
I felt like I was falling asleep.
My heart grew calm…
The anger in me faded.
The bad memories slowly receded to the back of my mind, replaced by the good ones. I felt like I was floating in absolute nothingness…
I don’t know how long I was in that state before the scream woke me up. It felt like a shockwave through my entire body, and then a series of images began flashing through my mind that made me jump. Somehow, Yuna was lost in the Farplane, either by accident or because something had dragged her there. I stared into the darkness that had suddenly engulfed everything around me. I couldn’t see anything at all… but I could feel Yuna’s presence, and I knew she wanted out. How she got here or what she was doing, I hadn’t a clue, but I knew I had to get her out of there even if she couldn’t see me.
I’m not sure how I became aware of the path of rocks that led to the surface, rocks hidden by the darkness and the general illusions of beauty that usually pervaded the Farplane. Still they were there- but I needed to lead Yuna to them, I needed something she would recognize.
The whistle.
That’s how I could lead her back to the surface. Even if she couldn’t see me- and I wasn’t sure if she would- she could hear me. It was all I could do for her; I couldn’t take her by the hand despite my longing to do so. I could only barely see my way to lead her back; I couldn’t even see her face in the blackness.
Then, before I knew it, she was gone and I was falling into a slumber once again. But this time it wasn’t as sustained as before. I wanted to stay awake, to properly see her, to call out her name once more. I kept fading in and out, and I wasn’t sure if she would return to the Farplane. I knew something else was there, something massive, but it was far removed, in the deepest depths where I had never been. There wasn’t anything I could do except what she had done before, on the docks at Luca. When I was aware of things, I would concentrate as hard as I could and whistle before I fell asleep again. It was stupid, it was desperate, and it was all I could think of.
Then the darkness peeled away.
I felt a pulse in my ears again.
I felt the cool embrace of water all around me.
A few blinks, a stretch, and I realized I wasn’t part of the Farplane anymore. I was solid, and I was floating in the ocean with light filtering down from the surface. At first I thought it was a hallucination, but the sudden burning in my lungs told me otherwise. Hoping it was real, I kicked up through the water, swimming to the surface as fast as I possibly could. The second I broke the surface, I knew exactly where I was, and it never looked so good before. Even with all the sights Zanarkand might have had to offer, they were nothing compared to the natural beauty of Besaid. For a moment, I just put my head back and reveled in the sensations flowing over me. I could hear, I could see clearly, I could feel again. I was alive. Or at least it felt that way, and at the moment, that was all that mattered.
How it happened, I didn’t know, and frankly, I didn’t care.
It wasn’t long before I was swimming to shore, trying to figure out how to best present myself. I had no idea how long it had been, or if Yuna was even here anymore. Had they moved on? Or did they still remember? I was just wondering what Wakka had been up to all this time, or Lulu or Rikku, when I heard a low rumble echoing out of the sky. Turning around, I couldn’t help but notice a bright red object- my first guess was an airship, though it sure didn’t look like the Highwind- coming towards the island. At first I was more than a bit surprised that another airship had surfaced in Spira, then I noticed it duck in low and start to skim over the water, preparing to make the shallowest landing I’d ever seen.
I don’t mind saying it now, I thought that ship was going to squash me before I even got a chance to see anyone! The next thing I knew, water was spraying everywhere as the ship touched down, skidding to a halt right near the beach. I winced and covered my eyes, partly irritated but also relieved to be able to feel it. Between the crash of the landing and the whine of the jets, I was only vaguely aware of a bizarre sound like a hatch opening, somewhere just above me. Then another splash, followed by a series of splashes… Someone was running towards me. I glanced up…
It was her. In an outfit I was completely unfamiliar with, dashing through the shallows with a huge smile on her face. I can only guess my smile was just as big as I stepped forward, arms outstretched. Then a sudden panic hit me- and I hoped beyond all other hopes that it wouldn’t be like last time. I didn’t want everything to fall apart at the last second and just have her fall through me once again. I didn’t want this to all be for nothing.
I shouldn’t have worried. A few more strides and we were in each other’s arms. I could feel her arms around my shoulders, her head on my chest. It was a moment I’d been wishing for ever since that day, and I didn’t want it to end. For a moment, the two of us just stood there with our arms wrapped around each other, motionless and wordless.
There was so much I wanted to say, but I had no idea where to begin. What could I tell her? Should I apologize? Should I tell her that I missed her, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell her how much I love her?
In the end, she gave me the answer when she asked, almost in a whisper, “Are you real?”
That’s what she needed right now above all else, I guessed. Reassurance that I was back, not a ghost or an Unsent. Of course, I still wasn’t totally sure of myself at the time; all I could say was, “I think so.”
She pulled back just a few inches, glancing over me, almost as if she expected me to start fading again. A moment or two passed, and I started to worry that something was amiss. I figured I had to say something before it got too awkward, so I said, half-jokingly, “Do I pass?” I felt like such an idiot once the words were out of my mouth, and I could just imagine Lulu rolling her eyes the way she had on the Pilgrimage. But something about it made Yuna smile and nod, as if the way I said it was reassurance enough for her.
“You’re back,” she said, and I could barely make out a tear forming at the corners of her beautiful bicolored eyes. That’s when I knew this was no illusion. It was real. I was real. Not even all the time spent in the dream version of Zanarkand compared to this one small corner of Spira.
“I am back,” I replied, hugging Yuna closer to me as she wrapped her arms around my waist. It felt so right. I hadn’t forgotten her, and she hadn’t forgotten me. I didn’t need a dream city to keep me company anymore. Whatever the Fayth had done to grant me this, I knew I couldn’t thank them enough. “I’m home.”
My mother had once told me home is where the heart is. My heart belonged here, with Yuna. Nothing could ever change that.
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