Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Long Way Home ❯ Yuna ( Chapter 2 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

[A/N: I own nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Get over it. On with the show.]

The Long Way Home

Yuna

I remember standing at the edge of the water with my fingers to my lips, whistling for him as hard as I could. The rational side of me was screaming, give up, it’s not going to work, he can’t hear you anymore. But my emotions were running so rampant, I didn’t care about reason. All I cared about was him. I didn’t want to accept the fact that he had faded, like a dream. He promised me he’d come running if I whistled, and so I did. Again and again, until Lulu’s voice called me back and I knew I had to stop.

The stadium was full to the brim with people waiting for me, the one Summoner in history who had fought Sin and not only survived, but defeated the beast for good. And even though I was able to put on a heroic face and make my speech, I was hating every second of it. I hated the attention, I hated being in front of the world at that moment more than any other moment. I just wanted to go home, to be with the few people who knew me best and take time to try and heal. Of course, I knew that if I didn’t appear before that audience, people would wonder why and possibly begin to lose their faith that I had done anything at all. I didn’t want the rest of Spira to worry, which is why I put on the smile and made my speech, trying to look the part of a confident, self-assured woman.

Inside, of course, I knew it was a mask. Self-assured? I had no idea what to do at that point. Aside from wanting to crawl into my bed in Besaid and cry myself to sleep, anything else was up in the air.

It might have been a lot worse, though.

I had my friends. They knew what had happened, and they knew just how I felt inside.

When we finally did return to Besaid, Lulu and Wakka both hinted that they would be there if I ever needed anything- they didn’t say it in so many words, but I could tell what they meant. And sometimes it was the little things that helped the most. Everybody else on the island, all they could talk about was everything I’d done and speculate on what would happen to the Church of Yevon. There were some days I would get besieged by people begging to know more about what had happened, or wanting my advice on some problem that had been weighing them down. They were so obsessed with what I had done that they didn’t even seem to notice if I was too tired or confused to give them an appropriate answer. Some nights I barely had any time to myself at all, and those were the nights I felt I would collapse into a nervous wreck. Those were also the nights Lulu ran interference for me, letting visitors know I was “indisposed” and out for the evening.

I don’t know how I would have made it through those long months without her to speak up for me when I couldn’t, or if she hadn’t offered me a shoulder to cry on when I needed one. Those first months, they were the hardest of all, when I would wake up in the middle of the night crying out Tidus’ name, usually after one of my nightmares of being on the Highwind or in a fiend fight. Some folks have said Lulu is somewhat cold, but they don’t know her the way I do. They haven’t seen her calm me down after a nightmare, letting me vent all my frustration and anger that the one man I truly loved was taken away from me. They don’t know how much pain she felt when she lost Chappu- they haven’t seen her shed tears that matched my own as we commiserated over both our losses. As I tried to get my life back on track, she was my anchor. She kept me from being swept away by all the people around me, whether they were asking me about their problems…

Or even worse, proposing marriage.

When the proposals started to drift in, I was shocked at first. People that had never seen me before in my life were asking for my hand, and after the horrific experience I’d had with Seymour I could tell that many of them were politically motivated. They didn’t want me for who I was, they wanted what I represented- the High Summoner, the Savior of Spira. And even the proposals that didn’t have anything to do with politics, they didn’t see me. They saw what they wanted to see in me. I turned down so many offers over the months it became almost an involuntary reflex, and I had to train myself not to shout out my rejection the way I wanted to. Once again I donned a mask of politeness, hiding my anger behind closed doors where only my closest friends would see. I didn’t want anyone else, I wanted him. I wanted to feel his strong arms around me again, to gaze into those brilliant sky-blue eyes, feel his lips upon my own once more… It was a foolish fantasy, but it was one I was unwilling to give up.

Those were the times when the two great lights in my life were there to cheer me up- Wakka, my “big brother”, and Rikku, my amazing little cousin. If Lulu was my anchor, they were my sunshine in a long series of cloudy days. They always knew some little thing to do or say that would bring a smile to my face, even if it was Rikku making a fool of herself. I’m sure they both missed Tidus, maybe as much as I did, but they never seemed to let it get to them. They just grinned and looked optimistically towards the next day. Rikku kept telling me over and over that something good would come of all this, and I had to let go of a few things and just enjoy life. And I would nod and smile weakly, wondering what I could do to make myself feel better.

It wasn’t until Lulu accepted Wakka’s out-of-nowhere marriage proposal that I really began to start thinking. It finally hit me that things were changing around me- the Al Bhed were rapidly becoming more accepted in society, machina were beginning to show up in the cities, there was even talk of new political factions cropping up to try and quell the masses that needed a leader. I remembered how they had asked me to lead at first, something I had politely refused at the time because I hadn’t wanted to be cast into the public eye again, not in the condition I was in at the time. But now things were moving of their own accord, and people were looking forward to the future- except me. I was living in the past; I still wore my Summoner’s robes and still acted awkward and introverted. I realized how much I had neglected myself, recalling the times Wakka or Lulu had to beg me to eat something just so I’d stay healthy. My hair was growing long and unkempt, my eyes were dull- I was a mess. That’s when I made my decision.

I would reinvent myself. I knew I couldn’t let him go completely, but I could let the quiet, shy person I used to be fade into the background. I would get out, and actually live life instead of letting it pass me by- and I knew Rikku would be more than happy to help me do it. This time, it wasn’t so much donning a mask as it was letting one slide away. Then I began to think- since I’d be leaving my life as a Summoner behind, what would I do with my robes? What would I wear in their place?

Maybe it was the Al Bhed blood in me that saw the appeal of my new outfit.

Either that, or Rikku may have had a corrupting influence on me. Whatever it was, when the two of us finished the design and actually held the clothes up to the light, I couldn’t help but think that Tidus would’ve liked it. It struck me that back in those days I might have blushed at the thought of wearing an outfit so… revealing, but I didn’t seem to care anymore. If I was going to leave the old me behind, might as well jump in with both feet. And I’ll admit it- I liked the way this new outfit made me feel. Especially the Abes emblem I had stitched right over my heart. I knew Tidus would like that, even if it might cause him to gaze a bit openly at my chest.

Not that I would have minded with him, of course…

Maybe some of Rikku’s optimism had begun to infect me at that point. I started to imagine, as I put my new outfit on for the first time, that maybe I would see him again somehow. She had suggested it once or twice, and even mentioned it while the two of us began fixing my overgrown hair into a ponytail. At the time, it seemed more like a joke, and we laughed it off… but something inside me suggested it might not be just a joke.

Then Kimahri found the sphere on Mount Gagazet and gave it to Rikku, and my hopes began to climb again. The man in the image looked so much like Tidus that I had to know for sure. Was it really him? Or was it someone who looked like him?

That’s what began my journey as part of the Gullwings. I learned to laugh again, to see the brilliant sights across Spira that I once thought I would never see again. I made new friends, revisited old ones, and along the way discovered there was so much more to life than just dwelling on the past.

Still, there were times I felt it would have been so much better with him at my side.

I marveled at the possibility I might see him again soon…

Then all hell broke loose.

The political faction squabbles…

Vegnagun…

Shuyin and Lenne.

Looking back on it now, I can still clearly remember the shock I felt when the Aeons reappeared, in dark, twisted forms that mocked everything I once knew. The heartbreak of having to fight them again, just like in the battle to destroy Yu Yevon. And then, the pain of realizing the figure in the sphere wasn’t Tidus after all- but a man so obsessed with revenge that his emotions lingered on, corrupting whoever or whatever they touched. When I first saw him on the Farplane, my heart skipped a beat, but the realization that it wasn’t Tidus was almost too much for me to bear. But the worst part of it… when he put his arms around me… I didn’t know if I was going to faint or scream. Memories of Tidus flooded my mind at that moment, and I almost felt myself falling into the embrace when a sudden wave of guilt washed over me. In a way, the intrusion of Nooj and Gippal at that moment was a welcome relief.

But with that relief came loneliness, and the sinking feeling that all my effort was for nothing. Darkness was sinking over the Farplane, and my gut felt like it was on fire. I felt like I was going to be lost in there forever…

But I wasn’t.

He was there. And he led me out to safety. I can’t explain how or why, but he brought me back.

The rest is all a whirlwind…

The three of us- me, Rikku, and Paine- we did what had to be done, which we didn’t even know about when all this got started. We brought three old friends back together. We deactivated possibly the deadliest machina in all of Spira. We stood and watched as the unsent spirits of two lovers reunited and faded into their final rest. And I stood and wondered if I had been on a fool’s quest the whole time. The thought had started to occur to me- if I had heard his whistle on the Farplane, then he truly was gone, and all I would be able to find would be his image, sustained by the pyreflies and my own memories.

And then the Fayth said something as we were leaving…

“You want to walk together again?”

I couldn’t believe it; it sounded too good to be true. The Fayth was offering me a chance to be with him again. After all I’d been through to try and find him, saving the world in the process, was I finally going to have the happy ending I’d always wanted? I wanted to cry out, “Yes, of course, that’s my only wish in the whole world!!” I could feel tears at the corner of my eyes just then, and it felt like if I said something, I would collapse into an incoherent mess. All I could do was nod my head and hope the Fayth wasn’t toying with me.

He gave no guarantee, but his word that they would do what they could.

What they were going to do, I still don’t know for sure, but those words were enough to lift my spirit and prepare me for the long journey home. I was in no mood for political speeches or resolutions between factions, which I knew would be forthcoming. Me and my friends had just been through a royal wringer, physically and emotionally, and right then, all I wanted to do was return to Besaid and rest.

Rikku kept bugging me the whole trip back what it was the Fayth had said to me, and all I ever replied was, “It’s a secret,” and smirked. But behind that smirk was a small mote of worry. What if the Fayth couldn’t do it? What if he doesn’t come back after all? Do I assure myself he’s coming back, or do I live life one day at a time and not risk setting myself up for disappointment? I kept pacing back and forth on the bridge, attracting more than a few worried glances from Brother and at least one groan of irritation from Paine, until word came from Buddy that we were approaching Besaid. That alone put a smile on my face, and I strolled over to the long range scanner to get a better view of the shoreline. We were still quite a ways away, but I could just begin to make out the edge of the forests and the beach…

And then I saw someone swimming towards the beach. My eyes widened as I kicked the magnification on the screen up a few more notches. Seconds later, I was springing out of the monitor seat and yelling at Brother to land the craft right then and there. It was him!

Everything became a blur. One moment I was leaving the bridge, the next I was off the elevator and sprinting into the entryway. I felt the Celsius dip and touch down roughly in the shallows as I slammed the button for the access ramp. My heart was racing; I could feel my hands trembling at the thought that he was right outside. The next thing I knew, the ramp was open, my feet hit the shallows and I was running towards him with all my might. I saw him turn and look at me, and all the doubts in my mind evaporated. His smile, his clothes, everything about him was just as I remembered it. But I still needed to know if he was truly back, or if it was an illusion.

I didn’t fall through him. I could feel his arms wrap around my waist as I hung onto his shoulders and rested my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beating, and I won’t deny, it made my own heart beat faster. I felt like a little girl as I asked him, foolishly, “Are you real?” I guess after chasing one false trail for so long, I needed to hear his voice again, not Shuyin’s or anyone else’s. In retrospect, it didn’t make much sense to ask that sort of question; the proof I needed that he was real was in my arms, but I needed to know once and for all. And then he spoke to me, and it was his voice. The same inflections, even the same tone he got when he was confused about something. That’s when I knew for sure that it wasn’t a dream. He had kept his promise- I had whistled for him so many times over those two long years, and he had come back to me. Then he drew me closer into his arms and said something I wasn’t expecting- “I’m home.” In all the time I had known him, I thought he had always considered his home to be Zanarkand, and that one day he would want to return there. I guess I was wrong, and this was something I was glad to be wrong about.

There wasn’t anything else I wanted to say right then except, “Welcome home,” just as I lifted my head up slightly, touching my lips to his. I felt all the masks I had ever had to wear around others slip away; with Tidus I had never had to hide myself. We just stood there in the shallows, holding onto each other in a tight embrace. This is what I had wanted for so long. He had come home to me.

Yes…

Home.




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