THE ZELL DINCHT COLLECTION

WARNINGS

1) I do not own Zell, Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, Seifer, Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, or any other character I may mention from the FF8 series. I may add some more characters, which are mine. If you steal them, I probably won't find out about it. I also do not own most of the towns, monsters, etc… used in this story.

2) This was written cause Zell is the coolest character ever to be created in the FF series. It's rated NC-17 for mostly sex, but there is also some language and violence

3) This is a yaoi story. If you are offended by yaoi, or don't know what it is, I suggest you leave. You have been warned.

Ok think I got everything. Just read it and leave me some feedback. If you flame me I'll find it funny, so do whatever the hell makes you feel good.

A/N: QUARTERSTAFF: (n) a long stout staff used as a weapon and wielded with one hand in the middle and the other between the middle and the end.

CHAPTER 15: Carry a Big Stick, and Whack The Shit Out of Your Adversaries

"Now on Bite Bug, we have Blue Jay Ray! He eats live birds for entertainment. Say hello Ray!"

"Hello."

"What type will you be demonstrating for us today?"

"Well I thought it would be swell to just do a common robin."

"Well let's see it then."

"SQUAWK!"

"Shut up you!"

SLAM! Zell smashed his alarm clock off as the sound of panicked feathers began to take over. "Damn morning radio." It took a while for Zell to realize why his alarm had gone off, but then he remembered about Puma. "Fire Cavern today…" Yawning and stretching, Zell eventually rolled out of bed and prepared for the day. After taking a quick shower, Zell pulled his metal knuckles on, ate something, and made his way to the second floor classrooms.

"Puma," Quistis sighed, disgusted with Zell's interruption. "You're excused." Grinning, Puma grabbed his book bag, and met Zell outside.

"You ready man?" Zell smiled. Puma read the fire in his eyes, and nodded. The redhead pulled out a quarterstaff from inside the classroom, and showed Zell with pride. It was a shock to the blonde, as the quarterstaff was a deadly weapon, and very underrated. If used correctly, the staff could channel incredible amounts of magical energy, making it comparable to the powers of the gunblade. Puma's model was very basic, but considered to be a powerful weapon for junior classmen.

"Nice huh?" Puma beamed.

"You never told me you wielded one."

"I like to keep it low-key." Zell dropped it, and led the boy outside. Staring down at his own fists, the blonde began to question his own strength. Nobody else in the garden used knuckles or their fists. They considered fighting without a weapon monster tactics, but they respected Zell. The blonde was a dangerous foe. In a few swift movements, he could easily surprise, disarm, and dispose of a foe. Zell had mastered the fighting arts, and was the best-unarmed fighter in the school. Half the reason people didn't take up knuckles was because the blonde had trademarked it. It was just too Zellish. There was no truly all mighty weapon; each had their own pros and cons, but the true power of knuckles was determined by the skill of the fighter.

"…I got Shiva and Quetzcoatl junctioned," Puma interrupted his thoughts. The redhead had been talking before that, but Zell had zoned out for a few moments.

"Standard issue," the blonde laughed.

"You don't got any do ya?"

"Nah they don't want to give you an advantage. I'd suggest you give me one though if you want me to do anything besides throw punches."

"Oh yeah! Yeah!" Puma obliged. "I'm taking Shiva though." Zell nodded, and junctioned the thunderbird. "I got some blizzard junctioned to the quarterstaff too," Puma gloated. "Did a little exploring last night."

"So we won't have any trouble today then," Zell nodded. He led Puma out of the garden, and then east to the Fire Cavern.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"It's about a five minute walk," Zell said after a break in the conversation.

"Yeah," Puma agreed, and kept pace with him. Slowly, the Fire Cavern began to appear over the horizon. The two faculty members guarding the entrance came into sight, as the two closed in on their destination.

"You really think I'll be alright?" Puma asked, fear setting in as the time of truth approached. Zell was about to comfort the kid, but he caught a glacial eye approaching out of the corner of his eye.

"Watch out!" the blonde yelled, pulling Puma around. Zell was excited for this first battle, but Puma seemed to have already fought many of these beasts.

"I'm drawing some blizzard. Take care of it man." Puma muttered, holding his quarterstaff in front of him. Zell nodded, as he was supposed to let the redhead make the calls to test his leadership skills. Puma held the staff in both hands, and felt the cool power flow into his body.

The glacial eye felt Puma's move, and directed his attention to him. Capitalizing on the monster's mistake, Zell rushed up, and delivered a blow to its head. The blue beast cried in pain, as the knuckles cut into its skin. Blood began to leak out of it, as the glacial eye tried to recuperate. Puma drew more blizzard out of it, but Zell could tell the beast was more interested in revenge on him. The foe slid over to the blonde, and swung its stinger tail. Zell skillfully dodged it, and delivered another blow. The beast fell on the ground unconscious, and Zell finished it with another quick punch.

"Easy enough," Zell smiled. Puma nodded, and continued to lead on to the Fire Cavern. The fear was drained out of the kid. His former worries were traded in for adrenaline, and Puma was running on all cylinders.

"Name?" a garden faculty member asked, as they reached the cavern.

"Crowings, Puma. ID 70919," Puma responded with confidence.

"Time Limit?" The redhead looked to Zell, who took a step back.

"That's your call man," the blonde shrugged. Puma nodded, and turned back to the faculty member.

"Give me ten." Zell took another step back. Puma was ready, but he would have taken twenty. Hey, at least he'd be home earlier.

"You have ten minutes…starting now," the faculty member responded, unfazed by Puma's courage. Having no time to waste, Zell and Puma picked it up to a jog. The light slowly dimmed from a bright yellow to a dark red, as the two went further into the cavern.

"Ten minutes eh…?" Zell smirked following Puma deeper.

"I'll be alright," The redhead responded.

"Kay."

Their jog was slowed however, when a buel descended from the ceiling and blocked their path.

"We don't have time," Puma yelled. "Run!" Zell followed, as Puma ran under the fiend. The buel cast a fire spell, which singed Zell's arm, but he kept running. They picked up the light jog to a full sprint, as they dodged various beasts which kept jumping in front of them them. Seven minutes approached when they finally reached the hellish pit of Ifrit. "Ready?" Puma asked, out of breath.

"Yeah," Zell replied, and as they returned their gaze to the hole, the fire king himself had appeared. Ifrit roared, taunting the blonde and the redhead.

"Zell, keep him distracted. I'm summoning Shiva," Puma called, eyes focused on the beast from hell. Zell nodded, and moved first. He gave Ifrit a blow to the stomach, and a quick jab to the mouth. Unlike the glacial eye, Ifrit took his shots, and quickly recuperated. The beast shot a fire spell at the blonde, who jumped back to avoid it.

"IMPUDENT HUMANS!" Ifrit cried. He then jumped high in the air, and drove his claws into Zell's arm. The blonde cried in pain, but knew the wound wasn't that serious. He countered with a hook to Ifrit's head. The foe stepped back, blood seeping out of his mouth. Zell then caught him with a leg sweep, causing Ifrit to lose his balance, and then a quick kick to the side. "Rgaa!" Ifrit cried, getting back to his feet. He had full intentions of murdering this child who kept beating on him. A cool blast of air interrupted the one-on-one battle however, as Puma finished his summoning. Shiva appeared, and covered the hellish beast with ice. Screaming in pain, Ifrit fell back away from Zell. "YOU HAVE SHIVA?"

"Zell you alright?" Puma ran over to him.

"Yeah nothing big."

"Here." Puma tossed the blonde a potion, which he drank gratefully, and felt the pain start to vanish from his arm. Zell took a quick look at his watch, and realized that Puma only had about three more minutes.

"You better hurry man," Zell told him, as they prepared for Ifrit's next wave of attacks. Puma nodded, and held his quarterstaff in a defensive stance. Still with pieces of ice in his hairy demeanor, Ifrit shook off the last attack. He realized that Puma was a bigger threat then Zell, so he would have to take out the redhead first. Puma watched, as the beast rushed him, claws aimed for his neck. Puma took a quick sidestep, but felt a sharp burn, as Ifrit's claws scratched his cheek. Blood trickled down his face, but to avoid being hit again, Puma put it out of his mind. He swung his quarterstaff, striking Ifrit under the chin, and then landed a blow across his chest. Blue dust flew off the stick, and extinguished some of the flames on Ifrit. The beast yelped back in pain, as the ice singed his skin. Puma twirled the stick, and delivered another blow to the beast's head. Ifrit fell back, but kept his feet. Puma had knocked some of the shit out of him.

"How much time do I got Zell?" Puma called, bracing himself for Ifrit's next move.

"Less then a minute."

Puma nodded, and led Zell on the rush to the beast. The redhead sent a blast of ice at the beast, who cried in mercy. Ifrit tried to muster the energy to counter, but the strength was drained from him. Zell hit him with a quick clothesline, and applied another devastating hit to the head. Ifrit stumbled back, realizing he was fighting a losing battle. Finally, Puma finished him. With a stick to the head, and then a leg sweep with it, Ifrit found himself on the ground unable to get up.

"I UNDERESTIMATED SHIVA. I WILL JOIN YOU," the beast muttered, fading back into his hellhole.

"YEAH! YEAH!" Puma yelled, tackling Zell to the ground. Zell laughed, and showed him his watch.

"12 seconds left." Puma laughed, and eventually rolled off of Zell, and helped him up.

"10 minutes man!" the redhead smiled. "You know how many other kids in my class did it in 10?"

"Nah, how many?"

"None! This is great!" Zell laughed, and cast a cure spell on Puma's cheek. The blood slowed, and the wound started to close. Both exhausted, the two limped out of the fire caver, quickly finishing any creature that threatened them. After Ifrit, they were nothing.

"Crowings, Puma," stated one of the faculty members when they finally got outside. "Completed objective in: 9:48. Time limit: 10:00. Status: passed. You are now able to take the final exam.

"Thank you," Puma saluted, and had the faculty members sign some of the school papers. With all legal stuff out of the way, Puma and Zell slowly walked back to the garden.

"You ready for the final exam?" Zell started a conversation.

"Yeah, I think I'll be alright."

"Really? Zoe tormented the hell out of me yesterday because of it."

"Nah, I've gotten Squall to help me in some places."

Zell broke into a fit of laughter, imagining how in hell Puma got Squall to help him.

"What? If you bug him enough he'll do it to get some quiet time."

Zell continued to chuckle for a while, before he could compose himself enough to say anything logical.

"Hey um, stop by when you get done with class today; I'm bored out of my mind in my dorm."

"Yeah sure, sounds cool." Puma replied.

"There's a two hotdog charge at the door."

"I can pull that off." Zell laughed and led Puma back into the school.

"I'll give you some pointers for the test. Maybe I can find Squall too," the blonde nodded.

"Yeah, I'll be there.

"Stop by whenever," Zell offered, and shook Puma's hand on it. The redhead smiled, and then turned to the elevators, to get back to class. "Hey Puma," Zell yelled. The redhead turned around, and looked at Zell at the bottom of the steps. "Good job today." Puma nodded, and disappeared behind the elevator doors.

Sighing, Zell headed back around the loop, and to his dorm. Swiping in, he threw his gloves on the table, and collapsed on the couch. He was beat, but for the first time in two months, he felt comfortable.