THE ZELL DINCHT COLLECTION

WARNINGS

1) I do not own Zell, Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, Seifer, Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, or any other character I may mention from the FF8 series. I may add some more characters, which are mine. If you steal them, I probably won't find out about it. I also do not own most of the towns, monsters, etc… used in this story.

2) This was written cause Zell is the coolest character ever to be created in the FF series. It's rated NC-17 for mostly sex, but it also contains some language and violence.

3) This is a yaoi story. If you are offended by yaoi, or don't know what it is, I suggest you leave. You have been warned.

Ok think I got everything. Just read it and leave me some feedback. If you flame me I'll find it funny, so do whatever the hell makes you feel good.

CHAPTER 16: Three Guys, a Girl, and a GF Mission

G-N-I-M-A-E-R-D

It was cold. He was shivering. Looking around, he realized he was inside a building of sorts, but it didn't keep the biting wind out. It was like an insane asylum. No exit, padded walls, and white. He thought it lucky he wasn't in a straight jacket.

"Really Emerald?" came a voice from outside.

"Yes, frozen apparently," replied another.

"Workable?"

"She's got plans for it."

"But what about…?" The voices faded however, as they moved away from the door. He tried to listen, but it was impossible. He sat back down, and tried to remember where he was.

"MR. CROWINGS!"

G-N-I-M-A-E-R-D

Puma awoke with a start, which almost made him fall out of his chair.

"Mr. Crowings, I will not tolerate sleeping in my classroom," Quistis reprimanded.

"Yes, Miss Trepe. Sorry Miss Trepe," Puma muttered, senses flashing back to him.

"Hmph…now who can tell me how General Carringway raised to power?"

(**********)

Zell had showered and cleaned up his dorm. The blonde wasn't a clean freak, but it was a top priority to keep his room tidy. He could trash someone else's room, as long as it wasn't his own. Zell had driven over to Balamb last week to pick up a frame, and today was finally able to mount his Lokum guitar on the wall. Lokum told him to keep playing, but he didn't say with which guitar. The sun slowly faded, and Zell eventually had to turn on the lights in his room. Satisfied, the blonde crashed on his couch, and flipped on the TV.

"Tonight on BGN, we explain the best way to conquer a Fastitocalon F.

"You punch it in the head," Zell thought to himself. BGN (Balamb Garden Network) was a station run within the garden, which gave experience to students interested in going into broadcasting. Overall it sucked, but Zell watched it a lot, because it kept him in touch with what was going on in the garden for the day. His viewing pleasure was interrupted however, with an announcement over the loud speaker.

"Would all SeeD's please report to the Quad," Cid muttered. "Further instruction will be given there."

"What's up?" Zell thought, but then realized that whatever it was, it was better then sitting here. Flipping off the TV, he stripped down, and changed into his SeeD uniform. Grabbing his metal knuckles, he started his trip down.

"Zelly!" Selphie chirped grabbing him from behind.

"Damnit." he thought. "Hi Selphie."

"You haven't seen Squall have you?" she asked, as they turned towards the Quad.

"Nah, we'll probably meet him down there."

Upon arrival, Zell saw about 100 SeeDs gathering around the stage. The blonde took the steps two at a time, and took a chair towards the back. Selphie followed him, and sat beside him. They saw Squall enter about five minutes later, and with a wave from Zell, he reluctantly sat beside the two.

"S'up man?" Zell greeted. The brunette just nodded, and took a seat in front of Zell. "You know what this is about man?"

"No," Squall replied, still facing forward. Their question was answered however, as Cid took the stage.

"Welcome," he greeted. "As you all know, the final SeeD exam will take place tomorrow." The SeeDs nodded, curious of where this was going. "I know there have been many rumors flying around, but the exam this year will be at the…" Cid continued making a dramatic pause. "The Tomb of the Unknown King!" he finished.

"Isn't that up by Deling?" Zell whispered, shooting glances between Selphie and Squall. Selphie shrugged, but Squall nodded.

"There is a supposed GF in the ruins, and the candidates will try to find it and overtake it," Cid started again. The SeeDs murmured among themselves, surprised about the mission. "Now we have changed setup of the test this year. Instead of having small groups of candidates, we're going to pair each candidate directly with a SeeD. Xu if you would," Cid nodded to her.

"Yes sir," she responded, and hooked up the overhead. On the screen there was a list of twenty names. Puma and Zoe were on it along with Seifer, and a couple of other names Zell recognized.

"As you can see," Cid continued. "This is the list of people who will be taking the final exam. I hope you also recognized that there are only twenty names. This means that only twenty of you will be dispatched to help in the final exam, so here's how we'll do it: I'm going to pick a name out of a hat, and they can select which candidate they want to take. Then they pick another fellow SeeD to choose next. Ok we ready? The first name is…" Cid paused, picked a piece of paper out, and read it. "Squall Leonhart!"

"There's a surprise." Zell rolled his eyes, but thought of how he could play this to his advantage. After last night, he really wasn't set on being paired up with Zoe, but he still wanted her to get in. Squall was by far the best fighter in the Garden, and he would more then likely be one of the people to slay this GF. Therefore, whoever his partner would be would have a great chance of getting in. "Problem solved…"

"Squall…take Zoe," Zell whispered into his ear. "Take Zoe Squall. Squall…Squall…take Zoe," he urged tapping him on the shoulder. Annoyed, the brunette pushed Zell's arm away. Thinking about it though, he really didn't care who he went with.

"Zoe Guthard," Squall shrugged. Xu wrote it down, and Cid looked down to him.

"And who gets to pick next?" the headmaster asked.

"Squall pick me. Pick me Squall," Zell begged. "Squall, Squall, pick me." The brunette pushed him away again, and Zell lost his balance and fell out of his chair.

"Zell Dincht," Squall muttered, and shook his head.

"YEAH!" Zell cried, and regained his feet. "I take Puma Crowings!" Looking for who to choose next, Zell's eyes fell on Selphie, who smiled brightly.

"I choose Nida!" This resulted with a kick in the leg, and Zell sat down in pain for the rest of the assembly.

(***********)

"Well at least you got picked," Zell laughed as they walked back to the their dorms.

"I got picked last thanks to you," she growled. "Now I got to go with Seifer. That's going to be one hell of a trip."

Zell continued to laugh as they walked down the hallway; getting a hit from Selphie every once in awhile. When they reached the dorm corridor, Zell spotted Puma waiting outside his hallway. "Oh yeah, Squall, can you come over for a while and help me prep Puma for tomorrow?"

Squall shrugged, which Zell pretty much took as a yes.

"Can I come?" Selphie asked eagerly.

"Did I mention your name?"

"Please Zell!"

"No!" Selphie pretty much took this as a yes, and followed the two boys to meet Puma. "S'up," Zell greeted, swiping his ID through the door.

"Hey what was your assembly about?" Puma asked, as Zell pulled open the door.

"Nothing," Zell responded. He took a seat on the couch, and Puma sat next to him. Squall took the chair, and Selphie was left standing. "I really need to get another chair," the blonde thought.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" Selphie whined.

"Sit on the floor," Zell laughed.

"I'm about to sit next to you," she threatened.

"Fine pull up a bar stool."

Disgusted, she listened to the blonde, and grabbed a stool.

"Come on tell me what happened," Puma continued his conversation from before.

"I can't," Zell replied.

"It was about my test tomorrow wasn't it!"

"Maybe," the blonde smiled.

"Zell don't tease him," Selphie reprimanded, glaring at him. She then looked at Puma. "It had nothing to do with tomorrow."

Puma knew that was a lie though. Looking around the room, he didn't want to bug Selphie all night, and getting it out of Squall was near impossible. No, it was impossible. This left Zell, and the blonde didn't look too eager to spill the beans either. There was only one way to fix this situation. Ah yes, this called for strategy. Trying to think of what Zoe did in these situations, Puma looked at the floor.

"You'll find it all out tomorrow," Zell stated, stretching his arms. "You did the Fire Cavern in ten minutes, so you shouldn't have too much trouble"

"Just don't talk too much," Squall muttered looking at the floor. The group jumped, not expecting the brunette to say something. "Don't talk unless you're giving an order."

"Yeah I got most of my points taken off for that," Zell laughed. "Respect you superior though. They look to how well you listen to others too." Selphie couldn't help but laugh at the irony of his statement. Zell shot a glare at her. "What? It's good advice."

"Nothing! Nothing!" she giggled.

Squall shook his head and looked to the ground. "Five minutes tops for them to blow the whole mission," he predicted, smirking to himself.

With Selphie giggling in small bursts every few seconds, and a confused Puma staring at her, Zell decided it was best to change the subject. "Who's hungry?" the blonde asked, looking at his watch. It was going of 7, so he considered it a reasonable excuse. Getting up, the blonde led the group to the kitchen. "You bring my hotdogs?" Zell joked, looking at Puma.

"Nah I forgot. Sorry." Puma said, taking a seat at the table. He knew it really wasn't a big deal, as Zell really wasn't expecting him to.

"It's ok, what do you guys want?" Zell asked.

"What do you got?" Selphie shot back. Zell paused for a moment and thought about it.

"I don't know…let me check." He turned into his walk-in kitchen, "I got cookies, chips, pretzels, and two pudding cups," he laughed, opening random cupboards.

"Chef Zell," Selphie muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Just bring the chips," Puma suggested.

"Yeah," Selphie agreed, and Squall just nodded. So Zell obliged, and sat down with the rest of the group.

"Zoe's not coming?" Selphie asked, starting the conversation.

"Nah, I didn't see her today," Zell replied, reaching into the bag, and grabbing some chips. He had spent the day avoiding her, so it was a valid excuse. "We'll see her tomorrow."

"How you think she's gonna do?" Puma questioned, grabbing the bag.

"I don't know. I've never seen her in a fight. She's with you though Squall, she should be alright." The conversation dropped, as Zell still didn't realize he blew it.

"Nope, three minutes," Squall told himself, and put his head in his hands. Selphie just glared at him.

"What?" Zell asked, staring back at her.

"So…I'm not with Squall?" Puma pried.

"Shit," Zell said aloud. "No…no you're not."

"And who am I with?"

"You're with me, but that's all I'm telling you," the blonde sighed. "Try to act surprised when they give out assignments."

"What do you mean you're with me?"

"You'll find out tomorrow."

"Kay, where are we going?"

"I'm not saying."

"Just stick around," Selphie teased. "He'll give you the full mission brief if you play your cards right." They laughed, and finished the bag. After Zell's half assed dinner, the blonde schooled Selphie and Puma in GFL on the PS2®. With some trash talking, Zell finally got Squall to play him. This was a bad decision, as Squall handed him a 52-3 loss. It was going on 9:30, so Selphie and Squall eventually said their goodbyes to avoid curfew, leaving Zell and Puma.

"You really think I'll be alright tomorrow?" Puma asked, becoming a little concerned.

"You're with me; you'll be fine." Zell reassured.

"Thanks man."

"Get some sleep, it's going to be an interesting day tomorrow." Zell gave him a high-five, and saw him out. He would have to get up early himself, so Zell kicked off his shoes, took off his shirt and pants, and slept in his boxers. He wouldn't get much sleep that night.