Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Beginnings ❯ Chapter 6 ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer:

I do not own Fruits Baskets or any of its many toy figurines. I had tried making my own mini play-dough version of Shigure but alas, my efforts proved in vain. Once again my propensity for lack of artistry came out, and Shigure looked more like a disfigured snow man than the treat of goodness he is.

On another note: I graduate in exactly three weeks! Finally, high school will be over and I can escape to a place with hopefully slightly more mature individuals. Yessiree, I am only 18, but I love it. I can't wait for August. Go Noles, baby!

And hey, if you're wondering how the hell I write like I do, let me just give you a slight hint: its called newspaper. I'm the editor! I just love writing!

Anyway, onward to the angst and

Warning!

This is going to be mostly Kyou-centric.

Beginnings

Chapter 6

Tohru stood just outside of the library, trying desperately to tuck her long hair into her scarf. The sea winds kept snow from sticking to the ground, but they didn't lesson the coldness in the least. Even bundled up in her turtleneck, sweater, and coat complete with matching mittens and scarf she could still feel the chill creep into the open seams. A brightly colored poster on the community board had caught her attention, the block words of "Chiyo Winter Festival" printed in bold red.

A light tap on her shoulder and hearty chuckle brought her out of her reprieve. It was Nayoko-san. Quickly, she explained to Tohru about the festival.

"Normally, we wouldn't bother with putting it on posters, but this year we decided to be organized. Wouldn't you like to come, Tohru-kun?" the woman asked kindly, the usually good humored grin framing her face. She stuffed one of the pamphlets she was carrying into Tohru's hands.

"Oh!" her brown eyes had widened while reading the pamphlet. There was to be one week of festivities, each night labeled differently. Night one: Winter Tides Decorating Contest; night two: Chiyo Talent Show; night three: Tsunami Mini Olympics; night four: Star Gazing Spectacle; night five: Taste of Home Cooking Contest; night six: Fireworks Display; and finally the last night: Chiyo Masque Ball. "Oh, Nayoko-san, this is great! I'll ask Yuki-kun and Kyou-kun, but is there anything I can do to help? Will you need help decorating your shop? I'm not very good at drawing, but I can sew and cut. Once I even made little figures for a tapis…"

Nayoko had listened in amusement as Tohru prattled on, noting how quickly her thoughts went. She didn't miss the sadness that tinged her voice at the end though.

"Tohru-kun, are you alright?" she asked, a little worried. The brown haired girl had become something of a daughter to her over the past two and half months.

"Yes, Nayoko-san, I'm alright. I was just remembering something that I hadn't thought about in a while, that's all." Tohru smiled reassuringly. "Don't worry, though, you can count on me! I'll definitely come."

Turning on her heels, Tohru gave Nayoko one last wave before tucking her hair tightly beneath her scarf. She had figured out long before that it was less of a nuisance to tuck her hair under something when crossing by the cliffs. The wind came in strongly from the sea and liked to whip her chocolate locks across her face.

In the almost three months since they had moved to Chiyo, a new life had been made. After that first rocky week, things fell into a rhythm with each member of the, as Tohru dubbed it, 'shanty' found a niche to fill. Yuki had immediately started searching for a job, needing to not only get out of the house, but also worried about the future. Tohru would need to see a doctor again, to check on her ribs and other injuries, and doctors cost money. Nayoko had helped out, suggesting, after learning of Yuki's talents in horticulture, that he apply for a part time job with the local middle school's groundskeeper. Takuji Kuma was a kind man, getting along in his years and eagerly took in Yuki as a part timer.

And it was also Nayoko who had seen about Kyou's tutoring job. While he had originally balked at the idea, he finally caved in after some pointed comments by Yuki, encouraging by Tohru, and heavy glances into their finance accounts. The kids at Chiyo elementary took to Kyou immediately, adoring his unusual hair and gruff ways. It brought a smile to Tohru's lips every time she saw Kyou coming home from the school, his face flushed, and a group of seven year olds following behind him.

While Yuki and Kyou had insisted she continue her studies through a mail program, Tohru had adamantly refused to just sit back and let them do all the work. Since she spent all of her free time studying at the library for her classes, Tohru naturally got a job there as well. The locally hired librarian was a young man just a few years older than herself, and like most people who've met Tohru, was entranced by her energy and good nature. Oniji Sanzo was fairly soft spoken, but with Tohru's usual ways, she managed to bring him into her conversations and had even invited him over for dinner once.

Not to say that Tohru had fallen back into her old ways of smiling on the outside and screaming on the inside. She had her moments, to which Yuki and Kyou were slowly growing used to, but everyone who met her could feel the genuineness of her smiles. Even Nayoko could feel the difference- Tohru's smiles were no longer forced, and they only came when she was happy. Which, according to Tohru, was almost constantly. It only took Kyou and Yuki fighting, or something reminding her of the Sohmas she had left behind to bring out her pensive side. And sometimes, late a night when the boys were asleep, she'd creep outside wrapped up in a blanket and stare at the stars overhead, wishing she could somehow fix things so that she had all of her 'family' back.

How much had happened in these past three months, how very much, and yet, as Tohru thought over it, very little had. They had their jobs, a few new friends, the 'shanty', and of course each other, but the daily routine of breakfast, work, dinner and sleep, made the significance of these changes fade into indistinct lines, patternless habits. Really, now that she thought of it, despite living together in such a small environment, she had spent little time with Yuki and Kyou. Maybe this festival would give them the chance to relax and have a good time. And even if they refused to come, she'd make them, she decided. This thought brought another of those new smiles to her face, and still oblivious to the obvious, Tohru completely missed the admiring looks sent her way by passing young men.

Folding the flyer carefully, she put in her coat pocket and hurried up the path. She wanted to tell them the news as soon as possible.

"There's going to be a festival!" Tohru announced as she stumbled into the room, her face flushed and the setting sun framing her outline in the doorway. Yuki looked up, surprised, from where he kneeled scrubbing out some the caked mud from his pants. Kyou barely even glanced towards her, he was so engrossed in the pile of books that surrounded him like castle walls.

"Nayoko-san told me all about it- she said it's a Chiyo tradition. Exactly three weeks before Christmas, the entire town gets together and decorates the shops. Each night something new is done- and finally they have a giant dance and everyone dresses up. She said its like a masque! It sounds so romantic, don't you think so Yuki-kun, Kyou-kun?"

She stared at them expectantly, her breathing a little fast from trying to get out all the words in one breath. Yuki dropped his pants, thankful for the interruption. He still hadn't managed to get the hang of cleaning despite Tohru's patient tutelage. A festival with a dance…well, that had promise.

"When is it, Tohru?" he asked, wiping his hands on a rag. Kyou dropped his book with a heavy sigh, squinting at the door.

"Close the door. Don't you think? The sun's straight in my eyes," he snapped.

Tohru covered her mouth to hide the grin and did as Kyou asked, shutting the door firmly. She stepped out from her shoes, giving the wall a familiar knock and then hung her coat on the peg Kyou had put in. The room was pleasantly warmed by the space heater Yuki had bought. She knelt by it for a moment, warming her hands and then turned back to Yuki handing him the flyer.

"Its starts this Monday. See-" she pointed to the itinerary, "there's something for each day of the week. I was thinking of maybe entering something for the food contest. Nayoko-san said she really liked those cakes I made last week. But I don't know…" Tohru trailed off, continuing the discussion internally.

Kyou finally gave up sulking, and snatched the paper from Yuki's hands. Quickly, his amber eyes scanned the calendar of events, his eyes widening.

"What kind of festival doesn't have a martial arts contest? This is stupid, only an idiot would go to this kind of thing," Kyou dropped the paper from his hands, returning to his tower of books.

"No one invited you, baka neko," Yuki snapped.

"Oi, you want to fight, nezumi?" Kyou jumped up, knocking over his books.

"Quit making a mess. Tohru's probably tired, and she doesn't need you making problems," Yuki said, not even deigning Kyou with a glance, instead picking the paper back up.

"No, no, please, don't worry about me. I'm a little tired, but Sanzo-kun only had me working on the computers today. I was just going to make dinner and then maybe a shower," Tohru reassured.

"Do you want some help with dinner, Tohru?" Yuki asked, picking up his pants and muddied rag, deciding that maybe he should just soak them and then leave them to dry during the night.

"Thank you, Yuki-kun, if you would get out the table and cushions…" Tohru replied, tying on an apron. Yuki nodded, watching her for a moment and then turned to fetch the things from outside. Kyou still stood in disbelief; they were completely ignoring him. Dammit, that rat always acting so smart. And he'd probably love the idea of the festival…taking Tohru to the stands and to the star gazing. An image popped up in his mind of Tohru in a kimono seated on the grass, her face enraptured by the fireworks display. A loud sound would frighten her and she'd huddle for comfort, and then just as the last firework filled the sky with a red glow, she close her eyes and lean forward and…No way in hell was he going to let Yuki take Tohru alone.

"Fine. I'll go!" he announced, his fist upraised.

"Kyou-kun?" Tohru looked up, a pot in her hand. Then realization dawned on her and a huge smile filled her face, her brown eyes lighting up. Forgetting the pot in her hand, she smacked herself in the face. At once Kyou was at her side, catching her before she fell.

"Ouch…" she mumbled, a thin hand pressed against the red mark on her forehead.

"You're really stupid sometimes…" Tohru winced, but a smile soon replaced it after sneaking a peak at Kyou's face. It was one of those rare looks, that tender expression he'd make once in a blue moon. "But I think you should make those rice balls like the ones at school for the contest." Kyou blushed at the surprise on Tohru's face. "Not that they were good or anything. It's just that they're harder to mess up."

Embarrassed, he let go of her and returned to his pile of books mumbling under his breath. Tohru hid a small smile and turned back to her preparations. Aside from the hooks on the wall, Kyou had also built some inlaid counters for her to use in the place of table tops. He'd also scrounged up some floor sealant, so that she wouldn't get splinters caught in her socks. When she had asked him about his carpenter skills, he had blustered something about his Shishio using it as part of training.

Kyou's really talented…I wish though he wasn't always trying to beat Yuki. I wonder why it's so important to him. I can't help but feel that there's more to it than just cat vs. mouse. Tohru sighed absently, slicing the carrots fluidly. He was so secretive lately. They never just talked anymore; there was never really anytime. Kyou left before her in the morning, and she always came home after him. So she and Yuki had the morning together but things just got mugged down between fixing dinner, cleaning up, studying, preparing lessons, and trying to get some sleep. Tohru sighed again.

Yuki soon re-entered, and was greeted by a pointed glare from the cat who was now squinting at another book. He ignored him and set up the makeshift table, putting on a table cloth, and finally dropping the cushions.

"Tohru, is there anything else I can do?" he asked softly, edging up behind her.

"Uh…no, I'm practically done. Did you have a good time with Takuji-sensei?" she asked, keeping her eyes trained on the vegetables before her.

"Yes," Yuki replied making himself comfortable on one of the cushions and sitting back so he could watch Tohru. She was always so graceful when it came to cooking, so in her element. "He was explaining to me how to retrieve and recycle nutrients in the soil, so that the soil wouldn't be dried out in just one season. Tomorrow I get to finish the rest of the plants by myself. How about you Tohru, how was your day?"

"Sanzo-kun is so nice! Really, there were so many books that needed to be reshelved, yet he told me to stay at the desk even though reshelving is more like the part timer's job. And then he even bought me lunch. I left in such a hurry this morning that I forgot to bring something. We had the best soup! That reminds me; I'll need to make something to thank him tomorrow."

Some of her fatigue had obviously lifted by the end of her speech. Yuki couldn't help but feel a little jealous. All she ever talked about was her 'Sanzo-kun' and how nice he was. She never had any complaints about him, and even Yuki couldn't find some fault with him. Oniji Sanzo seemed like an all around nice guy, maybe even too nice. He seemed like a male version of Tohru, always smiling and good humored. Plus it was obvious that he liked Tohru more than just a little.

"Yuki-kun is something wrong?" Tohru asked worriedly.

"No, I'm fine, just you know, tired," he answered weakly.

"I'm hungry. Why isn't dinner ready yet?" Kyou flopped into the cushion across from Yuki, giving the mouse a pointed glare.

"Just give me a second to get the bowls and it'll be all done," Tohru said, grabbing at the bowls as she spoke.

"Just hurry up. I'm tired," he grumbled.

"If you're not happy with this then you should just eat in town, baka neko," Yuki intoned.

"Maybe I will, it's not like it matters if I'm here or not. You and Tohru seem to be just fine together…" something in Kyou's tone made Yuki look up sharply. Was the cat jealous? Of him? Well, it wasn't like he cared. The cat was always so rude and head strong, not thinking at all.

"Please don't, Kyou-kun! I never get to see you as it is. We're always so busy, so that's why I'm looking forward to this festival. School's let out and Sanzo-kun is going to close the library early so he doesn't need me, so we'll all have time to do things together!" She brought the tray to the table, handing out the bowls and chopsticks. "I especially made this because I know it's your favorite, Kyou-kun, so please don't eat in town!"

Kyou took one look at her pleading face and almost wilted. "Yeah, whatever, let's just eat."

Damn, didn't she know how much power she had over him? She was just so oblivious to the effect she had on people, particularly on himself. He had only said that because, well, he was jealous. It was the same routine everyday: he'd come home and find that damn rat there scrubbing away at his pants or cleaning his fingernails from dirt or something equally feminine, then Tohru'd come home, ask Yuki about his day, serve dinner, and then an hour later, she'd be sound asleep. It was like he wasn't even there. But then she'd go and do something like this- make his favorite meal or preheat his blanket when the day was particularly rainy. She'd just know, and he couldn't stay angry despite how much he might want to.

Dinner was a silent affair, the three either too tired, or too preoccupied to bother continuing with conversation. After dinner, Tohru quickly cleaned up and made for the shower. Kyou had installed the gas tank to the water heater their second week there. And as Tohru stepped under the steaming water, she silently thanked him once again. The water beat down on her shoulders, easing away the tension and kinks that tended to form there. Lately, her thoughts had been returning more and more often to those she had left behind. It was easy to get lost in keeping busy, but some little thing would remind her of Shigure or of Hana. They were probably so worried. She bit down her lip. Akito was probably looking for them as well.

A knock interrupted her thoughts.

"Yes?" she called out. A muffled response was all she heard. Twisting around in the shower, she made sure the curtain was tightly in place then cracked the door open. A blast of cold air came surging in, almost making her lose her balance. Kyou's back greeted her.

"Kyou-kun?" she asked again. Kyou turned around surprised, taking in her precarious stance, her hair wet and plastered against her cheeks, and the only thing covering was the thin blue shower curtain. A heavy blush coated his cheeks and he immediately turned back around.

"Kyou-kun? Hang on, I'll get out…" Tohru eased back to shut the door, but lost her footing instead and started to fall forward. Kyou heard her muffled shriek and turned around only to have a very wet and very naked Tohru fall on top of him. And for a single moment he felt every curve against his chest and then they were both covered in an orange cloud and he was crushed to the floor.

Tohru sat up, forgetting at first that she was naked and entirely caught up in the fact that Kyou seemed unconscious, scooped up the limp cat, and raced into the bathroom. She turned on the faucet, wet her fingers, and sprinkled his face.

"Kyou-kun, I'm so sorry! Are you alright? Please, wake up…Kyou-kun, wake up!" she cried, still sprinkling his whiskered face. One orange eye opened, followed by the other, and then Kyou sprung up on all fours and raced from the bathroom, his body scarlet if that was even possible with cats.

"Kyou-kun?" Tohru called out after him, worried. Her foot got caught up again in the curtain and she slipped, this time falling on her bottom. And that's when she noticed she was still naked. The blush started at her eye lids and faded down, down, down, making what could easily be described as a full body flush. Grabbing the nearest towel, she wrapped it tightly around her body and then heard the telltale sounds of Kyou changing back. Oh my god, how much had he seen?

Ever so embarrassed, Tohru quickly changed into her pajamas, readjusted the shower curtain- the darned thing-, and mopped up the water on the floor with her towel. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm the heat the filled her face. How could she possibly face him? Well, he had been unconscious, so maybe he hadn't really seen anything…yeah right. Oh my god…oh my god, she was going to hyperventilate if she didn't leave that little room soon. Taking another deep breath, she cracked open the door, and quickly surveyed the main room.

Kyou sat in the middle of the room, the back of his neck bright red. He sat with his head bent almost over into his lap. Tentatively, she took another step into the room, wincing at the creaking of the floor. She dropped her wet towel and clothes into the clothes basket and stood there, one foot tucked behind the other, waiting for Kyou to break the silence.

Kyou heard her walk back into the room. How could he possibly face her? He had just wanted to tell her that Yuki had left to get his gloves that he had left back at the gardening center. And then she opened that door, not even thinking, and being the stupid klutz that she is, she fell, and on him! He had felt everything, seen everything…the blush increased, his face feeling as if on fire.

"Kyou-kun…" her voice called out to him hesitantly. She was probably furious at him, too. He waited for her to yell at him or something.

"Are you mad at me?"

What? She thought he was mad? How could he be angry? All she had done was be herself and fall. It was he who passed out and…

"Kyou-kun? I didn't mean to embarrass you. I slipped in the shower and fell. Please don't be angry at me."

Kyou hunched over even more, some of the blush fading. "I'm not angry at you."

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes, really…" why did she have to make this so hard. At least that damn rat hadn't been here. "Let's keep this between us though."

And with that the matter was closed. Audibly anyways.

"Hai…" Tohru blushed again thinking of what Yuki's reaction would be if he knew. She shuffled over next to Kyou, sitting next to him, her head resting on her knees. Kyou looked up at her, warmed by her nearness, and embarrassed by his new found knowledge of her anatomy. Not that he had been looking, but it had been kind of hard to miss…

The heat came back full force, and he looked down at his hands, feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

"How was school today, Kyou-kun?" she asked softly, staring out the window.

"A pain. Those brats wouldn't shut up even when I threatened to thrown them into the wall. And one of the girls wouldn't stop touching my hair. Grimy, nasty, little brats…if we didn't need the money, I'd just beat them all," he replied gruffly.

Tohru covered her mouth to muffle the laughter, but Kyou heard none the less.

"Oi, what are you laughing about?" he snapped, annoyed.

Tohru couldn't answer she was laughing too hard.

"Stop that! It's not funny…only fags like that rat like stuff like that. Martial arts people like me- we don't put flowers in our hair." Kyou felt his temper rising. She was still laughing and now her breath came out ragged.

"Fine, if you're just going to sit there and laugh, I'm leaving!" he shouted. Tohru, still doubled up, blindly reached out for his arm and tugged.

The inevitable happened once again: Kyou lost his balance and fell backwards, Tohru pulled down with him. Her laughter died off as he held himself just inches above herself, his arms and legs caged around her, both of their breaths heavy. She was so close…so very close. He could make out every tiny detail of her face, the slight outline of fine veins beneath her skin, the way her irises were flecked with gold, and a tiny freckle by the edge of her cheek. Her jaw was outlined perfectly in the dull light of the room. Mostly though, he took in her lips, just slightly opened, looking so soft, so light, so right. He could just lean down now….

His face drew closer and closer, her chest rising with each centimeter gained. She couldn't move, she could barely breath- Kyou's gaze paralyzed her. Never had they been so close. Without even knowing how, she closed her eyes and waited. Then came the lightest touch, so fleeting, and yet so much gained. She could taste all that was Kyou- the strength, the sadness, the desperation, the hurt, and something else- something she couldn't recognize. Her eyes flew open and met his amber. What was it that he was trying to say? What was it in those eyes of his that he wanted her to understand? And why, why oh why, had he kissed her?

Abruptly, he pulled himself away from her, afraid, no, terrified. He closed his eyes and waited for the rejection to come, the words that were sure to come. He shouldn't have…he really shouldn't have.

But.

But her lips had felt as soft as he had imagined; her taste was as rich as he had dreamed, and then came the second impression- a lingering of her soul, tinged with her past sorrows and her present worries. He had tasted her innocence, and now he didn't know if it would be enough to just be near her. He'd long for her taste again. Already he wanted to kiss her again.

Damn it. Damn it all.

Tohru pulled herself up, her eyes wide, and so very confused. The silence drew on, and even though he didn't withdraw physically, she could feel Kyou pull away from her, from everyone. She knew that she needed to tell him what she felt, even though she was unsure of it herself.

"Kyou…" she dropped the honorific, feeling it uncomfortable considering what had transgressed just seconds ago. "Kyou…I don't know what it is that I feel. I'm not angry, not upset, just confused. But Kyou-" she reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder, drawing him around to face her. Cradling his drawn face between her hands, she continued, "I'm glad that it was with you that I had my first kiss." A slight blush crept across her cheeks, but beneath her fingers, she could feel his muscles loosen.

"Let's keep this between us, too," she added, the blush increasing.

"Tohru…" his voice sounded too husky, but he couldn't help it. Being near her, it was driving him to madness. "You know, that I- I…Tohru, why I kissed you- it's because I…" He had to say it. He had to tell her now, or she may never know. "Tohru, I lo-"

"Tadeima." Yuki's voice broke in, the atmosphere cut open in one giant, smooth slice. "What are you doing to her?"

Kyou broke loose from Tohru's hands, feeling guilty and hating it. Why should he feel guilty? Its not like he owed anything to that rat, that rat was the reason why his life was so screwed up. That rat was the reason why he was going to lose everything. He'd lose everything unless he could beat him.

What the hell was he doing wasting his time working with brats at some school? He should be training, focusing on increasing his strength and on beating that prince. All else could wait, even she could wait. He stole a quick glance at her. She was busy explaining something to Yuki. She would have to wait or what would be the point. He wasn't stupid or naïve, he knew that their little sanctuary here in Chiyo was only temporary. Eventually, Akito would find them or they'd have to go back. He knew how much Tohru missed her friends, and how much she worried. Stupid little girl…always worrying about everyone.

He watched her tuck a piece of still damp hair behind her ear, remnants of that blush still on her cheeks. Unbidden, his fingers fell to his lips. He knew that she'd have to wait, but the question was could he?

Ignoring Yuki entirely, he took Tohru by the arm, getting her full attention.

"Listen. I have to get stronger." He didn't bother explaining and she probably didn't understand, but at least he had told her. So eventually she'd get it. Turning around to face Yuki, he glared angrily.

"You- tomorrow we fight. And everyday afterwards until you fall." Yuki didn't respond at first, a little unnerved by the cat's sudden intensity. What had brought this on? They hadn't physically fought since that first week.

"Then we'll be fighting a long time, baka neko." Yuki replied curtly. He smiled at Tohru gently, then dropped his retrieved gloves in the corner.

"Ano…" Tohru looked at first Kyou then Yuki; why this sudden need to fight? "Do you really have to?" she asked quietly.

"He's too dense to give up already," Yuki said pointedly. Kyou bristled from the obvious insult, but just shook his head. Damn it, he was tired. He just wanted to sleep now.

"I really don't want you fighting each other," Tohru knew how she felt when they fought, and she hated feeling that way. She felt as if in some way it was her fault, that she had brought on the extra tension. She knew that this was slight paranoia on her part, but she also knew that there was some truth in it. "Please, don't fight. Not here…"

"Tohru, trust me when I say that this is something I must do," Kyou didn't like acting this way in front of that damned rat, but she needed to accept this. "I must."

"Please, please don't fight! I hate it when you two fight. I care about you both so much and then you try to hurt each other; you punch and kick and fight so hard just to cause pain. Why do you have to do this? Why!" Tohru had never raised her voice at them before. In fact, she had never really raised her voice at all. But she just couldn't stand it- and she wouldn't let them! She wouldn't. She didn't care if she sounded ugly or if it made them mad; better they were mad at her than at each other.

"Tohru, it is not my wish to fight. I only go along with it because it give me a chance to show that stupid cat his place." Somehow Yuki's words did not help.

"Then don't fight, Yuki-kun. Then simply refuse." Tohru's simple reasoning crumbled whatever grounds Yuki's excuse had given him.

"Don't lie, you damn rat. You fight for the same reason I fight, or something close to it," Kyou snapped.

"What do you know of it? You know nothing. Don't attempt to know my reasons!" Yuki barked back, his usual coolness lost for a moment. He sounded so passionate, and yet so angry.

Tohru stepped between the two, her hands upraised. Even now they just had to fight.

"I asked you to not fight! Not in this house, not while we're here. Promise me." She raised her voice as the boys showed no response. "Promise me!"

Kyou was the first to answer. "No."

"Kyou-kun!" He turned away from her and opened the door. She tried one last time. "Please, Kyou…please, for me."

He felt his heart twist. If only she could understand…if only she could know that he fought so that he could be with her, that he fought for his freedom. He had so little time left. Only seven months until his 18th birthday. Only seven months until he'd be forced…

Knowing what the consequences of his actions would bring, Kyou stepped through the door and shut it heavily behind him. There could be no turning back now. He barely registered the wetness on his cheeks as he shoved his hands into his pockets, his feet heading towards his special clearing.

Behind the closed door, Tohru felt something in her tear. Wordlessly, she turned to Yuki for support, for answers, but he too couldn't answer. What could he tell her? That when he fought Kyou he felt as if he wasn't just aimlessly living, that he had a purpose for that one moment in time. That when he fought, he had a goal, a reason, something to aim for. It wasn't some ego thing, or some ancient grudge from the zodiac. The truth was that as long as Kyou saw him as a milestone to conquer, his existence had bearing. He wasn't worthless…and he wasn't weak. Who needs to defeat something weak? As long as he fought Kyou, Akito would be wrong.

But how could he tell her that? He didn't want her of all people to know that dark part of himself.

"Yuki-kun, I want to understand…" she said plaintively.

"Tohru…its something that I can't-" he tried to explain, but she cut him off.

"Try. Just try…"

"Tohru..." he stared into her dark eyes, searching for something that would permit tarnishing her innocence, looking for something that would show she already knew. But all he found was her concern, her worry, and her care. He couldn't destroy that. He couldn't. Finally, he looked away and sighed, his almost shoulder length hair falling to cover his eyes. "I think you should let this go," he said at last.

Tohru's shoulders slumped, and all at once, she felt all her energy drain away. The floor began to spin and dots danced across her vision. Fading away, she dimly heard Yuki call her name. As she fell into blackness, she recognized the hills that swarmed up to meet her. A heavy breeze sent shivers of recognition up her back. Yuki's distant voice disappeared into the wind. This place was peaceful. So peaceful.

Yuki stared in shock at Tohru. She had crumbled to the floor in a heap, her skin all too pale, and her eyes wide open. He called her name again and again, but no response. And that's when he felt how very still she felt in his arms. Too still.

He felt something die inside him.

She wasn't breathing.

^_^

Author's Notes:

Ok, my little sneak peak features died out for me there I guess. I do promise though that everything I hinted to will happen. I have everything outlined, it just takes writing it.

On with the reviews!

Sailor Red: I'm so glad you liked it. I was kind of disappointed with how it had turned out because I wanted more to happen. Oh well, I picked up on the time line this time around though.

Lovely Hart: I haven't read the manga but a lot of the web pages out there describing it, bring out Tohru in a somewhat different light from the anime. In the manga, I see more of the girl who's afraid to move on, thus the whole mother complex. My own idea of why Tohru is always trying to please and be happy and automatically assumes responsibility on her own shoulders is that it's a defense mechanism. My soup de jour is more along the lines of escapism (hence my writing all the time!), while Tohru's is to try to not hurt anyone and then no one can hurt her.

StarianPrincess: As I mention in my summary, this is one of those 'you don't know who she'll end up with' fics. To be perfectly honest, I have no idea who Tohru'll end up with. I'm already developing the sequel to Beginnings. (A whole quarter to the lucky soul who guesses what the title will be ^~^). And yes, in the next chapter, Akito will be re-entering the scene. Uh-oh!

Serena B: I love your reviews! You always write such long ones, and I have to admit an appreciation for those long ones. It is such a relief that you think I have their characters down, because I tend to put too much of my own personal spin on characters and go OOC, but I'm trying so hard to stay in with them this time. Yuki's always the big challenge for me, because he's so smart and smooth and I'm just quiet and tend to embarrass myself. Ugh, anyways though, I still love Yuki.

Mae: Better believe Tohru's got backbone now. She can yell and get angry and AND- scold. I love it.

Maeven: Yes, I made a mushy scene. I always imagined something like that would happen, and I just had to give Kyou the first kiss. But Tohru's so oblivious. Wonder how long it'll take her to catch on that Kyou and Yuki like her. Or maybe I'll have to make them admit their ardour.

And a special thanks to my lovely sissy: draculasvirgo! She read my work and told me to throw it away! I just love that sisterly love. Sigh.