Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Everybody Wants Her ❯ Chapter Six - Get On Your Goddamn Knees ( Chapter 6 )

A/N: Chapter six is up after only a weeklong wait! You like me `cause I'm timely, dontcha? Anyway the usual warnings and disclaimers apply, as well as my request to please review me. Infinite gratitude and um…invisible miso soup to all who do so!

Since you already know the basic coupling set-up I'm going to be mean and not tell you what is or isn't happening in this chapter. ^^ You have to actually read it and find out! Have fun! I am waving at you!

 

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Everybody Wants Her

Chapter Six - Get On Your Goddamn Knees

 

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He's laid up for weeks.

Akito can't remember all the details, can't even process them through the soap-thick haze of his fever. He knows what's wrong, but he's left in the dark as to when he'll recover and why. Does he deserve to feel better at all? Is there anything his doctor can do to make it matter?

“Pneumonia,” Hari says, “a broken rib.” Those words mean only that his chest hurts, that Kyo and the Sohma curse are killing him. The crunch of bones comes to mind, the awful sense that he can't breathe, he's powerless. He can't get Kyo's foot, his fist and his spiteful words away from him. He hears him in his dreams and the dreams never stop, his brain's stepped off in temporary la-la land.

Over and over and over again the tape rewinds itself, plays Kyo punching his stomach and making him sick, spill his insides on the ground. He tastes the bile, the blood that brought itself up later. He hears Kyo, feels his rage and knows that it's legit. Sick little shit…he is…what you did to Tohru…god he's wrecked her, she hasn't come to see him since, she must hate him if she won't take care of him… get on your goddamn knees!

He'd gotten on his goddamn knees.

He bowed to Kyo and he's so weak, he spits blood each time he tries to move. Word must have spread and he must have lost them all. The Sohma does not love him, won't deal another day if they think they can escape. And he hasn't seen a face in ages, no one real enough to touch and no Tohru. He's alone. They've left him here to die and he deserves it, no one can fix what he has tainted.

He's alone.

As desperate and painful as anything, he's alone.

He wants to scream, wants to beat the pillow and bawl like a baby but he hasn't got the strength. Akito can't get enough air in him to cry. He stares at his hand and it's blue, it's fucking blue and he's still alone…

Alone. He is going to die alone.

 

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He must have been sleeping because he's jolted up, something's stuffed down his throat and he's just praying that it's Tohru's tongue. But it's thicker, hurts him more and maybe it's a tumor, maybe he's got cancer now on top of everything. Something in him says its not; his body isn't that off kilter. It takes some time but he's breathing better, he hears a voice and tears just spill right down, no sound. He hasn't heard dialogue since diagnosis, someone's saying his name and he's not Kyo, he doesn't know who it is or why they're here but good god he loves them more than Tohru now.

Exhaustion. Consciousness crumbles and Akito's asleep, clutching beige sheets between sweat-soaked fingers.

 

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When the tube comes out he calls for Tohru, reaches feebly for the girl that isn't there. She doesn't visit, hasn't come to see him once because she can't, it's not permissible. Shi-chan knows her well and he's told Hari all about her, how all she wants to do is patch up a broken soul. And the last thing the grown-ups want is darling Tohru getting hurt, the last thing they'll do is let her get closer to Akito.

She's allowed to go see Kyo-kun though. Even if he's locked up for life, even if they can never have more then hand-holding through iron bars, its better than Akito turning her precious soul into cyanide.

If they knew what he'd threatened though, if Akito could tell them, Tohru would be right back here with her hands in his hair, chained up but she's free now, free to see Kyo and she doesn't even want to. Tohru avoids him, stays away from the cage as she roams the Main House, visits Yuki to pass the time. He's benign and she can look him in the eye, she wants to know how he's doing anyway.

So she's in Yuki's room when Akito wants her, when his voice is too weak to call her name.

 

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Tohru stretches, kicks her legs out on Yuki's futon. He's sitting there too, half hanging off the thing because even with their small statures they're too big for this bitty bed. Yuki rubs his wide and sleepy eyes, says he's glad he finally gets to see her. “I'm sorry Akito-san interrupted things last time. We were having a pretty fun conversation, but I guess he couldn't help it…I don't really know what's going on though, is he okay?”

Tohru laughs, checks herself because she knows that Yuki's isolated, spared Akito and his affairs. He can't have seen him since he got so sick, she can't see the sense in Yuki going in there and getting worse himself. “He's fine,” she tells him, lying through smiles because she doesn't know how the truth will make him feel. Akito's not fine, he's barely breathed in weeks and he'd fragile and crying and breaking apart. Based on what she's learned about the curse she thinks he'll just be terrified. “Akito's a little under the weather, but he'll be alright. How are you?”

“Dandy,” Yuki says, grinning and picking at a thread on his sleeve. “I'm doing a lot better, and this place is nice so long as Akito's not around.” Then he looks at her, stares straight into Tohru's serene smiling face. “I miss you though,” he tells her. “I miss you a lot.”

And Tohru isn't smiling anymore. She's glad to be missed but these days nothing's quite that simple, these days she has folks proposing to her right and left. Kyo and Akito are more than enough for her to deal with. “I've missed you too,” she says and she shuts down, crosses her arms and moves to the floor, too scared to be discreet. “Things haven't been easy since you left.”

“How so?” he asks, knowing that she's been here. He doesn't know why and he doesn't know what's happened, maybe its just because nobody's back at home. Shi-chan's been hanging out with Hatori, Kyo-kun's pacing his cage. Yuki's in his room, cut off and he craves the news, wants to know what's going on with Tohru-kun. “Is something wrong?”

“No!” she says, shaking her head because the last thing she wants is to make him worry. She's been reading up on psychosomatic illnesses, she's not sure but she thinks she'll make Yuki sick by scaring him. She hates that he's so feeble now, he's not the Yuki-kun she used to know. He looks so beaten down and its only Akito suffering in bed that keeps her from craving him. What she wants is the worst off and she doesn't know what Aki's done to him, she hasn't seen a single ancient scar. She smiles then and tips her head, tells him everything's just wonderful.

“Tohru something's going on…” He coughs, throws Tohru in a panic but it's nothing, he's laughing at her in a second. “Don't worry so much, you'll stress yourself out and that's not good for you. You must be under a lot of strain right now, agonizing over everyone. It's not like you can change anybody's situation, you know that right?”

And she nods, says yes but she's pretty sure she can. If she cleans the house then Yuki comes home, magically cured of all that ails him. If she folds bony baby Akito up in her arms he'll feel better, stop wanting to fall apart and die. If she talks to him long enough he'll take pity on Kyo, open up that awful cage and let him live.

“So just don't worry about it,” Yuki says. “You should get out, take care of yourself.” She winces, sickened by the concept. `Take care of yourself' in Tohru-speak means something along the lines of `be a selfish bitch who deserves to have her all organs pulled out through holes drilled into her elbows.' No, Tohru doesn't need to take care of herself, god no. She's just fine.

“I'm fine!” she says brightly, wishing now she hadn't even walked in here. Yuki won't get off this track and he's just babbling on and on. She should see her friends, get her bangs trimmed, buy herself some dango because he knows she loves the stuff. He won't shut up and she's getting annoyed, she wants to hit him, hurt him, go see Akito. He's saying things she wants to do, prying her out of her piety and she can't stand it. Her friends don't matter, her bangs don't matter, her dango definitely doesn't matter, not when the Sohma is suffering! She has to talk to Kyo, hold Aki-kun tight to her chest and good god she's just not worth anything if she doesn't do this!

Her heart sprints out of control in her chest, she's freaked and she's fidgeting, Yuki-kun is so concerned. “Tohru,” he says, “Tohru-kun there's no need to panic, I just don't want you to overwork yourself…” He takes her hand, rubs it and she jerks away, yells don't touch me in his face.

“I'm sorry,” she says, hands flying up to hide herself. Yuki-kun's stricken, this isn't Tohru-kun at all. She tries to explain, make what she's done go away but it isn't working, she's already rejected his attempts at gentle comfort. She could take his hand, replace the moment but she can't touch anyone but Akito. The thought of healthy skin on hers makes her shiver, and Yuki's healthy now. He's dull-eyed, depressed but he's the best he can be at the Main House. All she wants is Akito and her thoughts won't leave the road to him. “I,” she says, “I have to go!”

And she flees, feels so bad she forces unwilling feet away from Akito. She beats her fist against her wrist, bites her lip and tastes blood. She's been rude, she's been horrible but if she goes back to Yuki-kun she'll bolt again. He looks like Akito and that just makes her want him more. But she can't go see him, she can't because she's not allowed to, she doesn't deserve him anyway. Besides that Kyo's just so much better for her, Aki's a wreck that no one rational would want.

Tohru's forcing rationality on herself. She walks towards Kyo with lead in her step, tears flowing.

 

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There's only so long that playing tic-tac-toe with yourself in the dirt can stay exciting. Kyo's been sitting here for days, peeing in an open cat box at Akito's suggestion. Not that he'd care, not that he even remembers he recommended it, but anyway that's what Kyo-kun's stuck with. He gets cat food to eat too and he's losing weight, going bony and gaunt like the family god.

Kyo doesn't like to think of Tohru-kun, but with nothing to do he can't help it. She's on his mind most of the time, and he tries just to think of the little things. The little things get him feeling guilty though, what he sees is Tohru making dinner, smiling wide because Kyo helped her up chop some carrots. When he told her she looked good she'd just light up, like no one in the world was ever kind to her. Every little thing just makes him feel so bad.

So then there's the fact that he's lost her. She must really loathe him if she's loving Akito, if she'd choose that ogre over him. She'll be hurt with him, abused and he adores her. He's trapped and he can't save her, win her heart.

Missing Tohru, reaching for her with restless arms is awful, but it's absolutely nothing in the face of where he is. The futures taboo, Kyo's glad to have this Tohru trauma to distract him. He's always going to be here, thinking about her, wondering where she is and if she's banging Akito. If she doesn't come to see him then he's never going to know, and she hasn't come, she's not about to. He makes her sick and all her words of love were lies. Kyo's life will be bereft of Tohru, bereft of everything.

It's too convenient that she comes in now, would be worse if he weren't beating himself over the head with this everyday. He's spent all his time locked up thinking that she's gone, and she hadn't come, so when she steps up all he thinks is about goddamn time. But he softens up soon. Tohru with her tearstained face just melts his heart.

“Tohru-kun,” he says, standing up to smile at her. “I um, well…how are you?”

“I'm wonderful Kyo-kun,” she tells him, bullshitting him without a thought. He can see the dried-up tears and puffy eyes, the mucous trailing from her nose. She sniffles, smiles wide at him. “I mean, of course I've been worried about you. Is it terrible here? I hope it's not too bad, I wouldn't want Kyo-kun to suffer…”

“Well look around you Tohru-kun,” he says snarkily, waving his arms at the litter box, the degrading little bowl of crunchy cat food. “This is a freakin' palace.”

Her wide eyes widen and she shakes her head, she can't believe her Akito would do this. She has a hard enough time accepting Kyo's captivity, but this is ridiculous, this is insane. “They don't even feed you real food? Kyo-kun that's awful!”

“Well why don't you go talk to your boyfriend about it?” he spits, crossing his arms and he regrets it, rues every evil word. But it isn't in him to apologize, he just plows along and yells at her. “Then again he probably won't listen to you. Why the hell did you get involved with him anyway, do you have any idea what he's like? He's a sadistic controlling abusive freak and he's completely insane. The only good thing about him is he'll die soon. So what the hell Tohru? Was it just to get away from me? You could have said something if you didn't like me.”

Tears spill from Tohru now, she's guilt-wracked, guilty, god she's shaking. Kyo turns away, stares at the bars that make the walls because he just can't bear to look at her. “It's not because of you Kyo-kun, I just, I just really feel bad for him and he's, well he's gorgeous and I want to take care of him…I don't know Kyo, I just, you're my friend, you're my dear dear friend but that's it. I tried to love you, I really tried Kyo-kun…”

He backs away, leans against the wall with his head hung low. “So it was an effort for you then. You never actually felt anything for me.”

“It's not that!” she says, waving her arms and she's frantic, god she's absolutely miserable. Tohru-kun can't back this up, it is that and there's nothing she can say in her defense. “I do love you and I do want to be with you, but as a friend. It was stupid of me to let you make it more. I'm really sorry Kyo-kun.”

“That's a load of crap and you know it!” he snaps. “You lied to me, you fucking strung me along and you lied to me! How could you even do that? I thought you were better than that Tohru, much better!”

“I'm sorry Kyo, but its not like we've even been together that long. You didn't, you didn't love me or anything, you couldn't have…” In her head she toys with the idea that he does, she knows it can happen because she feels such love for Akito. But she isn't Akito, she's not a captivating ghost in need of saving. She's just Tohru, plain little housekeeping Tohru and who could possibly fall in love with that? It's beyond her why she has two Sohmas after her soul. Does Yuki love her too, does Shigure, Ritsu, Momiji? Good god could the whole family be pining for her?

Kyo nods, says bitterly that yes, he does. Does, not did. He's pissed as hell but the sight of her is still a lovely one. She's just about the only one who's against this awful lock-up, the one who cares and trusts him. She's scared but she accepts him she…she did.

He'd loved her so long and he thought…

“You can't mean that,” she says, voice faltering and she feels so weak, she feels like fucking Akito. “You can't…”

“I can and I do, I love you Tohru. I always will, but I guess if I'm locked up you're better off with Akito. It's not like I'd be any good to you stuck in a cage.”

And then he's next to her again, pressing his body against the bars. “Just do whatever makes you happy. That's what I want, your happiness, because I can't be happy anymore. I just want you to do one thing.” She stares at him, wary of his blaring blazing eyes. Kyo's not looking at her future joy, he's not looking just to let her go. Blood's pouring, pumping him up down there and good god he can't help wanting her. She's just so sweet with her sad soft face and wringing hands.

“W-what is that, Kyo-kun?” she whispers, eyes to the filthy floor. She squeezes them shut when he says it, pulls her hair and gasps like she's Akito or someone sick. “I, I can't Kyo-kun, I can't believe you'd even ask me…”

“It's just once Tohru, just five fucking minutes is all I'm asking. I'll want you for the rest of my life, it's not like there's anyone I can replace you with.” And he tries to so hard to make this reasonable, make `fuck me' a valiant request. She's shaking her head, backing off and he bows to the ground, just begs her on his goddamn knees. Tears start up and he chokes them back, he hates her more than God because she doesn't want him.

“You're crying…” she says, moving in and stroking his face, the water's falling now and she can't help it, she kisses him so she can be the healer. When she breaks away she says, “You haven't cried since that time with Kazuma…I can't believe this means so much…”

“It means everything,” he tells her, pulls her face in and kisses her deep, consumes her as fast as he can. Her eyes are wide and she's hating this, he knows but he can't bring himself to make it stop. It's not him, Kyo isn't in control when Tohru's skirt comes down, when his own pants fall around his feet. Those hands slipping slowly down her bra aren't his, that penis stiff as a board through the bars belongs to someone else. “Get on your knees,” he says because he just can't think of any other way, he doesn't know if he really could make love to her from the cage. “Suck,” he begs her, “Oh god please…”

And she does, Tohru clamps her mouth right down on Kyo-kun's healthy genitals. “D-don't, don't bite,” he begs, feeling absolutely eaten alive. She stretches her mouth to hell and back, tries to keep her teeth out of the equation. It's not working and she knows she's hurting him, knows he feels like he's something magic. The sides of her mouth ache and she wants it over, he's not coming and there's nothing broken enough to make her love him. When it doesn't work he pulls her up, pleads with her to please let him come inside her. “I love you so much,” he says. This doesn't help because she doesn't want him to care at all. Not now that she wants this life with Akito. But his fingers graze her crotch and god it's great, her stomach hurts with how this is and isn't wonderful.

She's wet and she's tingly, she can't kiss his neck and she's naked, he's naked and about to break her. Kyo-kun pushes straight inside, steals glances at her tear-stung eyes, her pubic hair and heaving breasts. Every bit is absolutely beautiful, he feels fantastic as they bruise their hipbones on the bleeding bars. She hates to admit it but this is better, she feels better than she did with Akito. Still all she sees is his pale little porcelain face, his wild-eyed pain and what he'd say if he could see this. When Kyo-kun comes she doesn't wait for her turn, doesn't even know that she's supposed to get one.

Kyo-kun pulls his limp dick out and away from her, they get dressed and say goodbye. All Tohru feels is filthy when she walks away.

 

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Sickroom, Sohma shell of a hospital. Akito's laying in a bed on meds, morphine dizzying up his head. When Honeybee heads in he doesn't even see her, doesn't split his face open grinning because god she's just so good. For a moment Tohru's hurt, her heart just breaks because she thinks the dear man doesn't love her. But she burrows into bed with him and holds on tight, says “Akito I'm back…”

He hears her. In a frayed and damaged voice he tells her how just much she is adored. “Don't go,” he pleads, and immobilized by guilt, paralyzed by love, she says she'd never dream of it.

 

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Nana: That was weird, wasn't it? I hope you liked it though and don't worry, there's still plenty more to come. Lots and lots of messed up stuff. I apologize to the Kyoru fans out there, but here's hoping you enjoyed yourself all the same. The review button loves you and so do I, so leave your comments and have a spiffy day!