Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Famous Last Words ❯ Attack of the Catnipp! ( Chapter 1 )

Okay, this is Deadly Whispers and here's the first chapter, but before you start reading, here's a little something you should probably know:

Since Kitsune's Rose and I are co-writers we've been taking turns writing, everything in bold is written by Kitsune's Rose and everything… not in bold was written by me, okay?

Disclaimer: We don't own Fruits Basket or catnipp, but I own ratnipp, so there!

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Kyo: Yuki, I'm gonna kick your ass!

Yuki: Really?

Kyo: Damn skippy!

Yuki: … I think you've finally went off the deep end this time.

Kyo: I'm gonna kick your ass in the deep end then!

Yuki: Is that supposed to make sense?

Kyo: No shit Sherlock.

Yuki: Don't make me get the leeks, baka neko. [Japanese Translations: stupid cat]

Kyo: You wouldn't you shitty rat.

Yuki: Oh, really? Honda-san, may I ask you to prepare leeks again? [-san is plain polite. Usually means Ms. Mrs. or Mr.]

Kyo: I swear you do and I'll put you in a hamster cage with a hamster wheel and all!

Yuki: You really do think up dull plans.

Kyo: Hey, it's better than Shigure's plan!

Yuki: Yes, well they're both very dull ideas, don't you have anything better to do, I'm sure Kagura wants to see you soon.

Kyo: No! Wait, okay, maybe she does, but anyways, it would entertain me to see you change back stuck in a hamster cage.

Yuki: Why, don't tell me you're gay.

Kyo: No, I'm not, but you being stuck in a cage, hah, that'd be funny and not even Tohru could get you out!

Yuki: Yes, but unless it's a very big cage, once I change back it would fall apart.

Kyo: *snickers* Not necessarily.

Yuki: … O-kay, does this constant rambling of yours even have a point to it and how would I change in the first place?

Kyo: And you're supposed to be smart.

Yuki: No, it's just that what you said made no sense, I'm sure it doesn't even make sense to you.

Kyo: Of course it does, let me put it in simple terms: I (that means me) . Have. Ways. To. Make. You (that's Yuki Sohma) . Turn (or change) . Into. A. Rat.

Yuki: Of course it makes sense or of course you can understand it? And I have no proof of these "ways" of yours.

Kyo: … Those ways are secret, but they involve the female species.

Yuki: -.-;; Yes, I already knew that, but how do I know that you aren't just bluffing?

Kyo: Why would I pass up a chance to torture you?

Yuki: Simple, because you're an idiot.

Kyo: Why you… that's it… fuck you, Mo ii-yo [Japanese Translations: Forget it! (I've had enough!)]

Yuki: I'm glad you're starting to see it my way.

Kyo: That's it… Oh Tohru!

Tohru: Yes Kyo-kun? [kun is used for a friend most commonly used referring to boys ]

Kyo: Come here *pushes Tohru into Yuki* *Yuki changes into rat* *takes Yuki up stairs to cage*

Yuki: -.-;; Really, was that necessary? You really are running out of ideas, aren't you?

Kyo: Shut up you fucking rat, those bars are made of pure crystal, they wouldn't break even if you hit them with a sledge hammer! (a/n: I don't know the truth in that statement)

Yuki: And where did you get these "crystals" and why do the bars look like tinfoil?

Kyo: I got it specially made and have tinfoil wrapped around it so nobody would jack it.

Yuki: Well that's stupid. How can you even get the crystal bars if you have no money? (How do I know? I just do.)

Kyo: Well… I kinda borrowed some from Akito… ^___^;;

Yuki: You a fucking idiot, you know that?!

Kyo: Well, he kinda owed me some money. (a/n: Heheh)

Yuki: *turns back to normal* You do realize that you've never even got a chance to put me in the cage, don't you?

Kyo: Damn it… … Tohru!

Tohru: *comes in* *sees Yuki* O.O

Yuki: *pushes Kyo into Tohru which makes him change into a cat (a/n: Shock shock!) * Gomen Honda-san. ^^ *shoves Kyo into cage*

Tohru: O.O

Kyo: *a whole bunch of foul language (a/n: I know a lot of Japanese swear words! ^__________________^) * Hey, good thing I couldn't actually afford the crystal and bought plastic instead… ^___^;;

Yuki: *throws catnipp into cage* That should keep him for a while.

Tohru: O.O

Yuki: Gomen again Honda-san. *puts clothes on (a/n: Finally.) *

Kyo: Mmm, catnipp, I love catnipp… I love the world. *starts purring*

Tohru: Aww, he's so cute!

Yuki: Thank god there's no such thing as ratnipp!

Kyo: Lalala, hey Yuki, can we be friends? *purrs some more*

Tohru: Aww, Sohma-kun, can we let him out? He's so cute!

Yuki: Umm… I'm afraid to let him out…

Tohru: Why?

Yuki: Think Honda-san, he just asked for us to be friends.

Tohru: True… AHH, THE WORLD IS DOOOOOOOOOOMED!

Kyo: *purrs*

Shigure: Hey, what's going on?

Tohru: Oh, Kyo-kun's just going insane.

Shigure: Oh… Okay, that's nice.

Kyo: *changes back* *breaks cage* *goes and rubs against Tohru's arm* *purrs*

Tohru: Aww, how cute! ^_____________________^ (If he weren't naked)

Kyo: *purrs*

Tohru: Hey Sohma-kun, could you get some clothes for Kyo-kun? (a/n: To. Many. -Kuns!)

Shigure: Hahahah! Yah Yuki-kun, it was your idea to give him catnipp.

Yuki: Actually, you gave it to me, so technically it was yours. Anyhow, this is getting disturbing so I think I will go get him some clothes. *leaves room*

Shigure: ^___^;;

Tohru: Shigure-san, why do you have to be so mean to Kyo-kun?!

Kyo: *purrs*

Shigure: Well, it's not just Kyo-kun, I helped make that cage too.

Tohru: Shigure-san!

Shigure: What?!

Tohru: Sohma-kun hurry up please!

Kyo: *tries to bite Shigure*

Yuki: What is he doing?!

Kyo: *singing* We're men, we're men in tights…

Shigure: *tosses plant to Yuki*

Yuki: *catches plant* What's this?

Shigure: *innocent look* Nothing.

Yuki: It smells like mint… ^^ It smells gooooooooood.

Shigure: *snickers*

Kyo: *singing* We fight for Bovine Freedom…

Yuki: *also singing* And we hold our big heads high…

Tohru: O.O …

Shigure: It's ratnipp brand new on the market, thought I'd try it out.

Yuki: Shigure, I love you. ^^

Shigure: What the fuck?!

Kyo: So do I!

Shigure: What the fuck?!

Yuki: And I never admitted it, but I love you too Kyo!

Kyo: *no longer high* What the fuck, you goddamned fucking rat?!

Yuki: ^__________________________________^

Kyo: Something's seriously wrong…

Yuki: *falls over onto back* Hello? … HELLO?! Where did everyone go? Come out, come out wherever you are, it's time to meat your doom! … HELLO?!?!

Kyo: *blinks* Shigure, what did you do?

Shigure: Nothing… (much)

Kagura: *runs in* Kyo-kun, how have you been? I missed you. So why haven't you called?!

Kyo: … I…

Kagura: Oh, I missed you, I hope you're alright! *punches Kyo* Why didn't you write?! ToT

Kyo: I… but…

Kagura: I don't care, I'm here now and we can be together! *throws Kyo against wall* I love you!

Yuki: Well to bad! I love him!

Kagura: Well I love him more!

Yuki: I do!

Kagura: I do!

Tohru: Okay, this is really weird!

Shigure: Yes, and Kyo-kun's still naked.

Kyo: *looks down* Ahh shit! *puts clothes on* Okay, Kagura, Yuki… I don't know what the hell's happening, but you both scare me… Yuki's my enemy and Kagura's my worst nightmare so please leave me alone. You guys can fight over me without me there so go ahead, fight all you want. *walks out of room*

Both: *get into ca- … rat and boar fight*

Shigure: This… should be interesting.

Tohru: You guys, please don't fight, it wont solve anything!

Both: Sure it will!

Yuki: *no longer high* *narrowly dodges Kagura* What happened?

Tohru: Please stop fighting. T-T *walks out*

Kagura: Not until I know Kyo-kun's MINE!!

Yuki: We're fighting? *dodges Kagura again*

Kagura: Yes! You're trying to take MY Kyo-kun from ME and I will beat you!!

Yuki: *eye twitches* What?!

Shigure: She's right you know.

Yuki: Shigure? ^^

Shigure: Yes?

Yuki: *yelling (a/n: Shock shock.) * WHAT THE GOD DAMNED FUCKING HELL WAS THAT PLANT?!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shigure: … Mint. ^___^;;

Yuki: *chasing Shigure*

Shigure: Well it was… (not)

Yuki: I WILL KILL YOU!!!!

Shigure: Hahah, you're kidding, ne? [Japanese Translations: Ne: you use this when you're asking for agreement]

Yuki: *kicks Shigure through randomly placed paper door* ::censored:: ::censored:: ::censored::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tohru: *walks in* O.O Sohma-kun, could you please go talk to Kyo-kun?

Yuki: No.

Tohru: Please, for me.

Yuki: *eye twitches* *thinks* How does she do that?! *out loud* Okay.

Tohru: Oh thank you! *throws arms around Yuki* *Yuki changes* Oh, gomen! I'm so, so sorry! [Japanese Translations: Sorry]

Yuki: *sighs* No, it's not your fault. ^___^;;

~~~

Famous Last Words: Thank god there's no such thing as ratnipp!

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Okay, all done! Now You'll have a new chapter in about four or five days, okay? It's all done, but I like to make people wait! BUWAHAHA- *cough cough* *gasp* Anywho, go R&R now!