Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Fumei no Musubi ❯ Chapter 15 ( Chapter 15 )

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket and all its characters are properties of Takaya Natsuki-sensei and Hana to Yume comics. Everything else in this fanfic are figments of my imagination. Any similarities to name, places, yada yada yada are simply examples of the world's many coincidental mysteries.

January 11, 2007

Fumei no Musubi: Chapter Fifteen
By Ina-chan

 

 

“N….an…”

 

It was dark. It had always been dark. And there was a strange feeling throughout his entire being. It wasn't unpleasant… just strange. For the longest time, he felt tired. It was as if he had been sleeping for such a long time that he didn't even have the strength to open his eyes. Sometimes in the darkness, he would hear voices murmuring,.

 

“Ne…an…”

 

He couldn't understand what they were saying. Most of the time, they were muffled, as if he were hearing from under water, or as if they were being spoken from a distance or through a wall, or as if he were remembering the words spoken in a half-forgotten dream. Sometimes he thought he could hear a gentle voice humming a soothing tune. But no matter how hard he tried, he could never figure out what the voices were saying. He knew for certain, however, that the voices felt familiar and comforting.

 

“Nee…chan…”

 

But this voice…

 

Something within him stirred. This voice was different. He couldn't understand how this voice was different from the others. But this voice was clear and something within him resonated at the sound of it. It sounded like a child's voice calling out in… hope? Fear? Desperation? For the first time, in the longest time, the darkness around him started to lift. For the first time, in the longest time…

 

“NEECHAN!”

 

He opened his eyes.

 

And he found himself in the garden. It was just as he remembered, even though he doesn't believe he'd seen this place before. But he remembered... a plentiful orchard of peach trees with the sickly sweet scent of ripe peaches that hung heavily in the air.

 

“YUKI...”

 

Yuki blinked, the spell broken as he heard his name. He quickly turned towards the voice calling him to find a small child staring up at him agape in shock. Like the garden, the child didn't look like anyone he knew, but at the same time, he felt that knew this little boy his whole life.

 

Familiar feelings tore through him, but at the same time, he felt distant from it all. It was as if he was a mere spectator and he watched himself react to those memories. Memories of fear… of hate and loathing… and of deep inexplicable love and devotion…

 

“no...” The boy whispered as he took a step back, as if not believing what he was seeing, “No... no... NO! Why are you here?”

 

It was then, that he finally realized who it was. And all his feelings were replaced by the emotions mirroring the younger boy's. “Akito… why are you so small?”

 

“YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!” The little boy demanded indignantly. “WHY ARE YOU HERE?”

 

“Why am I here?” Yuki echoed absently. A line furrowed his forehead as he once again searched his memories only to be met with an inexplicable sense of urgency that he needed to be somewhere else. He could sense it. Somewhere… someone was waiting for him. He instinctively turned towards the direction where his feelings were pulling him and started to move.

 

“Wh… where are you going?” The little boy called out in surprise at the older man's sudden action

 

“I need to go… There's someone… Someone's waiting for me,” Yuki replied in a distant voice.

 

“No…” The boy whispered as his eyes widened in alarm. Forgetting his anger, he hastened his steps toward Yuki. “Don't go! I changed my mind! You can stay.”

 

Yuki continued walking, not even pausing as he continued walking towards his unknown destination.

 

“Please… Don't leave me alone!” The boy cried out. “Don't go…”

 

But Yuki continued to walk away.

 

“Don't go!” The younger boy called out again, as he lunged forward desperately to clutch Yuki's sleeve. “I WON'T LET YOU!”

 

Yuki froze at the sound of the younger boy's words. The younger boy's touch burned painfully through his sleeve as a series of disjointed, images flashed across his mind's eye. He turned to face the younger boy only to find, to his surprise, a different figure holding on to his arm.

 

It was a young girl, no older than twelve or thirteen years. She held on to his arm as if her life depended on it. He didn't recognize her, but he knew who she was. It was Akito. All of them was Akito… that young boy from earlier… and now this young girl… they were all the same person. Something inside him warned him of a great danger. It was telling him to break free and to run away as far as possible. But her delicate grey eyes stared at him with such despair… Despite what his instincts was telling him, he couldn't pull away.

 

“Please don't go,” she sobbed mournfully, “you said that you would always be by my side.”

 

He turned around to face her. He crouched down to meet her eyes and as his fingers tentatively wiped the tears pooling from the corners of her eyes before they spilled down her cheeks. “Akiko-san.”

 

Like watching a movie, Yuki could only watch and listen as the scene played out in front of him and the words left his mouth out of their own volition. But unlike watching a movie, Yuki suddenly realized that he knew exactly what was going to happen next. It was odd to remember these memories. He even remembered the feelings that churned inside him as it happened. Yet, at the same time, there was that sensation of detachment when one recalls a long forgotten memory.

 

“You don't have to go to Germany to become a doctor,” Akiko whined. “You could easily go to school here.”

 

“It's a rare opportunity, Akiko-san,” He replied in a gentle tone. “It's only a few years, and when I come back, I promise to make our family proud…”

 

“I don't care about that,” Akiko protested, a knowing look glinted in her eyes. “I know the real reason why you want to go to Germany. You say you want to make our family proud. But you really want to find him, don't you?”

 

Yuki couldn't help flinching as her words hit its mark. As expected, she knew exactly his thoughts and feelings. There were other reasons, of course. He pushed them deep inside of him. He denied himself from acknowledging those feelings. He couldn't afford her to find out.

 

“Why do you want to find that man? He abandoned you in exchange for his freedom. You don't need him. Your real family is here. I'm your real family. You should be happy with you simply staying by my side forever, Yuuta.”

 

Yuuta… Yuki repeated the name in his mind as the collection of disjointed memories connected to that name started to make sense. This scene playing before him was that memory before a tragedy. The girl before him… Akiko-san… she was the Souma Family Head's youngest daughter. From the day she was born, his… Yuuta's entire world was forced to revolve around her. Like him, Yuuta was a jyuunishi, and Akiko was his God.

 

“We could get married,” Akiko suddenly stated as a hopeful expression crossed her face, “if we get married, you won't need to go to Germany. And no one can ever pull us apart. Father won't have any objections. Father likes you…”

 

Yuuta couldn't hold back his expression as the feelings he was desperately trying to hide leapt up at him accusingly. A pained look crossed his features as the image of a wild, orange-haired demon flashed through his mind's eye. He bowed his head, a final desperate attempt to hide his feelings. He forced a smile on his lips before replying with a gentle measured tone. “I'm afraid it doesn't work that way, Akiko-san.”

 

“Stop it!” Akiko suddenly cried aloud, causing the older boy to look up at her in surprise. Rivulets of tears continued to stream down the girl's cheeks. “Don't talk to me like that. In that tone… like I'm a child who doesn't understand anything.”

 

Yuuta bowed his head once again, this time in silent apology.

 

“NO!” Akiko hollered again, frustration evident in her voice. “I WON'T ACCEPT IT!”

 

Yuuta simply replied with silence.

 

Yuki could only sympathize with his “other self's” situation. He too, had been in this circumstance many, many times. He knew, but didn't know how… Akiko was one of the Jyuunishi God's earlier incarnations. After all was said and done, the Jyuunishi was really just slaves to their God's will. Yuki sympathized with Yuuta's inner struggle. Yuuta was fighting for something very important to him. And it was something so important that he was willing to defy God's will to achieve it.

 

Something very important…

 

The words reverberated from the back of his mind as a nagging feeling washed over him. Yuki frowned inwardly as he struggled to pull away from Yuuta's memories to remember his own. Yes. There was something very important to him as well that he was willing to defy the God's will to achieve it. Something very important to him was waiting for him…

 

“It's HER isn't it?” Akiko's voice suddenly said in that tone that Yuki had been very familiar with, instantly pulling him back.

 

Yuuta cringed. It was hopeless now. Akiko finally laid him bare and an indescribable sense of fear started to cloud his mind.

 

“You're doing this because that filthy Monster poisoned your mind against me,” Akiko continued on in that venomous tone of hers. “Again and again and again and again… that Monster…”

 

Then he felt it… that indignant rage. It burned painfully within Yuuta's chest as the God's words registered. It hit him like a punch on the stomach. It was so sudden and powerful that Yuki felt himself reeling from the intensity of Yuuta's fury.

 

“She's not a monster,” was Yuuta's quiet reply.

 

Akiko stared at the older boy in a shock, as if he slapped her across the face. She bowed her head and let her tresses hide her eyes, but he could still see her pale lips harden into thin angry line. Her delicate hands curled into fists and trembled by her sides. He didn't need to see her eyes to figure out what she was feeling. When her tears started to flow freely down her cheeks, Yuki instantly felt Yuuta's guilt wash over him. At the same time, there was an insistent feeling of anxiety started to gnaw at the edge of Yuki's nerves. But there was really nothing he could do but remember…

 

“I'm so stupid,” Akiko whispered as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand. “I thought this time it would be different. It's because I'm younger again, isn't it?”

 

Yuuta simply remained where he was, though Yuki felt the struggle within his older incarnation. He was doing all he could to keep the expression on his face impassive.

 

“I'll show you,” Akiko declared, indignant determination burning in her eyes, as she loosened the obi around her waist. “I'm much more a woman as that monster will ever be.”

 

Yuki instantly shared Yuuta's apprehension as he realized what was going to happen. Yuuta quickly averted his eyes and finally expressed the anger he was suppressing. “Stop it!”

 

“I can act however I want. Are you forgetting who you're talking to?” Akiko demanded angrily before flinging herself against the older boy and started pounding his shoulders. “I'm YOUR God! You're supposed to obey me! You're supposed to love me! ME! ONLY ME!”

 

Yuuta said nothing. He didn't even make a move to protect himself from her childish assaults. Seeing that the older boy was not going to be dissuaded by her actions, Akiko stopped her attacks and started howling in fury as pulled at her hair. She then ran towards the walls and started hammering them with her fists with such force that Yuuta instantly ran after her in concern.

 

“Akiko-san, stop it, please…” All the anger in Yuuta's voice instantly drained away and mellowed into that gentle tone that always seemed to quiet down the younger girl whenever she falls into one of her childish tantrums in the past.

 

However, instead of calming down, Akiko increased the intensity of her tantrums and started banging her head against the walls.

 

Yuuta grabbed the child to stop her from hurting herself. “Akiko-san, don't do that!”

 

Akiko then renewed her assaults on him with violence. It was as if her anger fueled her with an inhuman strength that Yuuta could barely manage to protect himself. Like a trapped animal, Akiko's angry cries turned into ear-piercing shrieks while her hands clawed at Yuuta's face and her feet kicked out to make contact with his shins. The older boy had no choice other than to pin her smaller body onto the floor to protect himself and to keep the girl from hurting herself any further.

 

“Akiko-sama! What's wro---!” The room's sliding doors opened with such haste that it was almost ripped off from its hinges. The servant gasped in shock upon seeing the sight that met her. “Yuuta-san… what are you… doing?”

 

Upon seeing the expression on her face, a wave of panic crashed over Yuuta's entire being upon realizing the compromising position he had unintentionally put himself into. But he couldn't do anything else but stare back like a cornered wild animal. He turned his gaze towards the smaller figure beneath him only to find the younger girl looking gazing back at him with a triumphant smile on her face, without a single hint of the hysterics she demonstrated just a few moments earlier.

 

As if time had frozen still, Akiko's petite hands grabbed on to his collar until he could feel her breath against his cheek while she whispered the painful words that would inevitably break him.

 

“You belong to me! Every single one of you belongs to me! Even that disgusting monster belongs to me!”

 

He couldn't understand why her words had such an effect on him. Since the day she was born, his entire world was made to revolve around her. Even though he didn't love her in the way that she wanted him to, he still loved her nonetheless.

 

But now…

 

/Even that disgusting monster belongs to me!/

 

…now… she knew.

 

Because of his selfishness, she knew. And he betrayed the one he desperately wanted to protect.

 

Nothing else registered in his mind after that. Not even when Akiko restarted her hysterical screaming, or the hurried footsteps that followed soon after, or the arms that roughly pulled him and dragged him away. He didn't even remember walking into that dark room where dying members of their family were brought to die. He had lost sense of the passage of time, lost track of the accusing and sympathetic faces that came to visit him, and even lost conscious reasoning over his actions. Until…

 

“Ha-ha!”

 

…her voice brought him back. The melodious sound of her laughter…

 

“That's the silliest thing I've ever heard!”

 

It was only then that he finally remembered.

 

“Let's watch the sunset just like when we were kids.”

 

And he felt his heart shatter in regret for forgetting promise that was made a long before he met her in this lifetime before a curtain of darkness once again veiled his eyes.

 

/“I'm sorry… Onnichan…/

 

 

******

 

It was probably the hundredth… two hundredth… thousandth… he already lost count. But once again, he found himself walking towards that makeshift of a hospital room that he began to dread as much as the house that was meant to be his prison during his youth. But this time, instead of the insistent beeping of the monitors contrasting against the silence of the room, Kyou was met by the comforting faces of his family. Except for those who stayed behind with Akito, the rest of the jyuunishi had gathered within the vicinity of that room.

 

Everyone looked at him expectantly. They all felt it. A pull, a premonitory feeling that something was about to happen. It seemed that everyone thought that Kyou had the answer. However, standing there and trying to explain everything that happened with Akito was the last thing that Kyou wanted to do.

 

“Go on,” Momiji stated as if reading Kyou's thoughts. With uncharacteristic solemnity, he nudged Kyou to go in the room. “I'll take care of things.”

 

Kyou gave the Rabbit a grateful nod and entered that sterile environment that he dreaded. There, he found his wife cradling the Mouse as if she were soothing a child. Tooru sat on the chair by the bed, with Yukino sleeping comfortably on her lap. Ayame stood beside her, looking strangely calm. Hatori was by the monitors, watching the numbers and blips on the screen intently.

 

“Shigure is with him,” Kyou stated automatically as Hatori turned around to meet his eyes questioningly. “He just fainted. I think he'll be fine. Yuki needs you more here.”

 

“Then I'll go back to make sure Shigure-nii has help around if he needs it,” Kureno called aloud as he started to make his way out of the room.

 

“Shigure can handle it by himself,” Hatori stated unexpectedly still holding Kyou's gaze. Kureno looked at the Dragon with a startled look for a moment. He started to protest, but caught the look in Kyou's face as well. With unspoken understanding, Kureno made a reluctant nod before turning around to wait outside.

 

Kyou watched the other man leave with some relief. He didn't even notice that the Rooster was in the room with them. However, Kyou didn't have much time think of anything else as his daughter started making crying noises that babies make as they woke up. Kyou instinctively walked over and reached out to caress his fussing daughter reassuringly. As if recognizing his touch, the baby grabbed his hand with her chubby little fingers and proceeded to gum his knuckles.

 

At that sight, Tooru choked out a sound that sounded like a beginning of a laugh interrupted by a sob. Kyou patted his friend's shoulder reassuringly with his free hand. He looked up and met his wife's gaze, who smiled at him in that gentle manner that threatened to crumble the dam holding back the river of tears in his eyes. He glared at her half-heartedly before turning his attention to his sleeping cousin. Never in his life that he thought would he be in this situation. But he was beyond caring at this point. If the vengeful spirit that possessed his body had any power at all… he silently begged and offered it all his strength to fulfill one single wish.

 

“Let it all end. Please, let it all of this finally end.”

 

******

 

/No…/ The soft whisper brought him back to reality./No… please. Not this./

 

Yuki opened his eyes… or he believed he opened them. There was nothing but total darkness with the sound of water gently lapping around him. His first instinct was to panic, but for some reason, he felt very calm.

 

“Akito?” Yuki called softly to the voice.

 

/Please… don't show this… I don't want to see this…/

 

Yuki sat up to reach out blindly in front of him. Whatever it was that he was sitting on, it suddenly rocked precariously with his action. He opened his mouth to call out again with a louder voice. “A-chan?” Yuki froze with a start. The sound that left his lips didn't sound like his own voice. It sounded more like a young child. And just like before, he suddenly realized exactly where he was and who she was as he remembered this memory.

 

“Yume-chan,” Another young girl's voice answered as Yuki felt a hand take a hold of his searching fingers. “Stay down and lower your voice or that mean, old Noriko will find us.”

 

Yume-chan. Souma Yumeko. She was cursed with the vengeful spirit of the Rat before him. As a child, he wanted to find out more about her since he learned of Kazuma's grandfather. But nobody would tell her of her story.

 

But now, he remembered. He knew exactly how she felt and all that she knew. The world she lived in was the world he was always made to fear. Her world was darkness…literal darkness, a world where nothing else existed but that of sensation, smell and sound.

 

But unlike Yuki, she didn't feel fear or sorrow in that world. There was nothing but love, warmth, and trust. Yumeko was such an innocent and pure child that it seemed as if she didn't have the ability to comprehend the dangers that other people can cause. And just like from his earlier vision, the danger was blaring loudly at him

 

“A-chan, `Nori-chan isn't old,” Yumeko giggled.

 

“I said shhh!” The other girl hissed in mock anger. “If they find us, I'll push you overboard and I'll never take you to someplace special ever again!”

 

Through the darkness, his other senses painted the picture of their surroundings. The cool breeze kissing away the humid summer heat from his skin, the clean scent of grass and earth lingered from the morning summer shower, the gentle lapping of water against wood as it rocked them gently. Yuki knew where they were. He'd been there a few times. The image from his current memories seemed to have opened his own eyes. Yuki then, found himself crouched together with another girl. She was no older than ten or eleven, and they were inside a small rowboat in the middle of the lake near one of the Souma Family Summer houses. Yuki all at once knew who that girl was, and understood why he once again sensed danger.

 

Yumeko put both hands over her mouth to suppress another giggle. The action caused the other girl to burst out in her own round of snickers. They tried to curb each other's mirth in vain until they finally lay on the boat's floor in silence.

 

“Isn't this nice?” The other girl continued as she recovered. “There are no grown-ups around to tell us what to do. It's just the two of us. It's like we have our own secret house and the clear big sky is our roof.”

 

“The sky?” Yumeko echoed curiously.

 

“Un. Today, the sky is very clear. It's a very pretty blue. Otou-sama told me that the clear blue sky is the most beautiful thing in the world. Whenever he sees the sky like this, it feels as if he can fly freely like a bird and be able to do anything.”

 

“Uwaaaaa!” Yumeko sighed in astonishment, her cloudy grey eyes widening in excitement. “A-chan, bring the sky back home with us!”

 

The other girl instantly fell in a peal of laughter, completely forgetting about staying quiet. “Yume-chan is so funny! We can't bring the sky home with us.”

 

“Ehhh? We can't? Why not?”

 

“Because we can't! For one thing it's too big. And it's so high up that you can't even reach it,” The other girl replied all-knowingly. “Why would you want to keep the sky anyway?”

 

“Souvenir for Onnichan's house!” Yumeko replied proudly.

 

With that, Yuki felt as if the air around them suddenly turned cold. The young girl beside him fell silent. Yuki felt the dark aura seeping from her that he had become accustomed to fear from when he was a child. Ss much as he wanted to warn his older self, Yumeko couldn't understand.

 

“Onnichan's lonely in his house. Onnichan can't come out whenever he wants. The sky will make Onnichan feel free. Maybe Onnichan won't be as lonely.”

 

“Onnichan, onnichan, onnichan!” The other girl growled angrily as she sat up, causing the boat to jerk suddenly. “Why are you so attached to that Monster? He's not even your real brother!”

 

“A-chan… Onnichan's not a monster,” Yumeko replied, automatically sitting up as well.

 

“He is too!” The older girl retorted stubbornly. “He's the Cat and you shouldn't have gone near him in the first place!”

 

“But Onnichan…” Yumeko started to protest only to be cut off in mid-sentence as the older girl suddenly grabbed her shoulders in a painful grip.

 

/No…/ The soft voice whispered again softly, desperately trying to pull Yuki away from the memory. Then everything changed. It was as if that outsider's attempt shifted everything. Yuki suddenly found himself as a spectator rather than seeing the whole thing through his old incarnation's eyes. He was confused for a moment, until he realized that the memory he was watching wasn't really his…

 

“You ungrateful brat! What else do you want from me? I already allowed the Monster to come with us in this trip to make you happy. Now shut up! I don't want you mentioning that thing again!” The bigger girl screamed furiously, as if suddenly possessed.

 

“A-chan…” Yumeko whimpered softly, completely surprised by the other girl's behaviour.

 

/Stop watching this... I don't want you to see this…/

 

“You are supposed to be by my side forever! You were supposed to love only me! ONLY ME!” The older girl raged on. “But it's a lie, isn't it? No matter what, you'll still love him the most!”

 

“A-chan!” The younger girl started to cry now, suddenly feeling frightened for the first time in her life.

 

/DON'T LOOK!/

 

“HE WON'T GET HIS WAY AGAIN! NOT THIS TIME! I WON'T LET IT!” The other girl shrieked in rage. Before Yumeko could react, the older girl shoved the smaller girl's shoulders then watched stoically as the younger girl fell backwards into the lake's cold embrace.

 

/THAT WASN'T MY FAULT!!!/

 

As Yumeko's small figure disappeared underwater, the older girl stared at the disturbed water in horror, as if suddenly realizing what she had done. She rushed to the edge of the boat and frantically prodded through the water. “YUME-CHAN! WHERE ARE YOU? YUME-CHAN!”

 

As if on cue, the younger girl burst through the water's surface. Her tiny arms instinctively reached out to grab anything within reach in a frantic attempt to escape the lake's stubborn grasp. The clear water around the boat quickly darkened with thick mud. The older girl attempted to grab hold of the younger girl's arms and pull her back onboard. But Yumeko's panicked efforts to survive overwhelmed her. Yumeko's weight and desperate struggle rocked the boat precariously and threatened to pull the older girl into the murky waters as well. Yumeko's actions also prevented the other girl from pulling away. In her own mounting panic, the older girl instinctively pushed down the younger girl's head underwater.

 

Yumeko fought and struggled as hard and as long as she could, against the stronger arms that held her down and the leaden weight the pulled at her. In the end, the forces against her proved to be much stronger. The water's violent waves calmed. All that was seen were strands of long silver tresses floating just underneath the surface of the lake's murky depths. All that was heard was the sound of the older girl's laboured breathing.

 

/It wasn't my fault…/

 

“AIKO-SAMA!!”

 

/Stop watching!/

 

The terrified scream snapped the girl back into reality. She looked up and saw one of her personal maid servants on shore, staring at her in complete horror. “N…Noriko…?”

 

/It wasn't my fault!/

 

“AIKO-SAMA!” The young woman cried out, frantically waving her arms in the air as she ran towards the houses. “WHY ARE YOU THERE? THAT'S DANGEROUS! STAY THERE! DON'T MOVE! I NEED TO GET HELP! HELP! HELP!”

 

/It wasn't my fault!!/

 

Aiko just stared after the hysterical woman numbly, unable to do anything else. That was until she realized that there was a second figure left behind. He stared back at her with a frozen expression on his face. He didn't say anything. His fiery orange hair ruffled slightly in the breeze. His red eyes seemed to bore right into her very soul… accusingly... as if he knew exactly what happened.

 

/STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!!!/

 

“It's not my fault,” Aiko whispered almost inaudibly, inexplicable fear washing over her entire being as she was drawn into those staring eyes. She shrank back to the corner of the boat and forced herself to look away, only to realize that she couldn't get away from those accusing eyes. No matter how much she tried, she will never get away. “IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!”

 

 

******

 

“It's my fault.”

 

“Heh?” Kagura lifted her eyes and looked at her husband curiously. “What is?”

 

A few moments ago, her husband returned from seeing the Head of the Souma Family. Kagura instantly knew that something very important happened there from seeing the expression on her husband's face. There was a different air around him now. There was something different about his eyes. As if he had grown several years older and gained several years of wisdom within those few minutes that he was gone. Most of all, the experience had left him completely distraught. Kagura ached to comfort her husband but was torn between doing that and comforting the rest of her family.

 

As if sensing her inner dilemma, her daughter started fussing and no amount of coaxing seemed to comfort it. Hatori somehow managed to convince Tooru and Ayame to take Yukino out for a short walk, finally leaving the husband and wife a little bit of privacy… somewhat.

 

Kyou closed his eyes tiredly and leaned back on the chair that Tooru previously occupied. “For many things… I was blaming other people all this time. I blamed everything on the Rat, on Yuki. I realize now that I was just as responsible for a lot of things.”

 

Kagura frowned, “And you came to this conclusion because?”

 

“Akito,” Kyou replied. “I realized that what I was doing all this time was no different from him. I made life very difficult for many people. It's no wonder that the Cat has been hated.”

 

The room fell silent again, save for the beeping of the monitors and the rhythmic pumping of Yuki's respirator. Kagura reached out to her husband and Kyou twined his fingers with hers in response. “Ne, Kyou-chan, I don't know what happened when you and Shi-chan went there, but I know for sure that there is a vast difference between you and Akito. Despite what you may think, I don't think you were hated.”

 

Kyou squeezed his wife's fingers gratefully and turned his attention back to his sleeping cousin. “At least, I know now that HE didn't hate me. He never did, throughout any of our lifetimes. I feel a bit ashamed to know that. All these years, the Rat was simply seeking out the Cat to ask for forgiveness. I always didn't respond in kind until it was too late.”

 

“Baka neko,” Kagura scolded affectionately. “Whoever told you that it's too late is a big idiot. And you're even a bigger idiot for believing that!”

 

Kyou gave his wife a wounded look at that. “You know, sometimes you're just as bad as he is.”

 

“Well someone has to keep you on your toes,” Kagura replied haughtily

 

Kyou finally allowed a small smile to touch the corner of his lips as he gazed at Yuki's sleeping form. “Oi, `Kuso Nezumi. I don't know if it matters now, but I forgive you… and I'm sorry.”

 

 

******

 

Once again, Yuki found himself in the place where they began as the boy released Yuki's arm. The boy who was Akito but wasn't Akito slowly moved away from him. Yuki recognized the fear etched on the boy's face.

 

“You saw, didn't you?” The boy stated anxiously.

 

Yuki didn't reply. He didn't completely understand what he saw or what those memories meant. He did, however, finally understand the hell that their God suffered through all these years… all these lifetimes. Without thinking, he knelt down, and pulled the smaller figure within his arms.

 

The boy froze for an instant, before instinctively struggling to pull away. “What are you doing?”

 

“You were suffering alone all this time, weren't you? All because of my selfishness,” Yuki whispered apologetically.

 

The boy instantly ceased struggling, completely caught off guard by the young man's words.

 

“I'm sorry,” Yuki continued.

 

“After all what I did to you… in the past… you're not mad?” The boy asked, his meek and childish voice filled with complete astonishment.

 

“That really doesn't matter anymore, does it?” Yuki replied as he released the bewildered younger boy so that they would see eye to eye. “Even though they used to be us, we're not them.”

 

“I don't understand…” The boy's voice wavered as he choked back his tears.

 

“Yuki is Yuki,” Yuki replied with a hint of amusement in his voice as he straightened up to stand. “Akito is Akito. Isn't that right?”

 

“I— ” Akito, once again, stopped with a start as the sound of his own voice startled him. He automatically looked down at his hands and saw that he no longer possessed the small childish hands of the body that he had grown to despise. Akito stared at the other man almost in complete wonder. The Yuki in front of him was different from the incarnations of the Rat's vengeful spirit in the past.

 

This Yuki was not the same frightened little mouse that he watched from childhood. Somewhere along the way, Yuki suddenly changed without him noticing. No… Yuki started to change a long time ago, and Akito simply refused to acknowledge it. With great sense of regret, he realized Yuki didn't become this way because of him. Even though he couldn't understand why, he felt as if a weight was lifted from his chest for some reason.

 

“Yuki is Yuki…” Yuki suddenly spoke out loud, a puzzled frown replacing his gentle features. “Where have I heard that before?”

 

“Yuki?” Akito questioned.

 

But the other young man didn't seem to hear him as he turned around and searched the lake's horizon, returning in his earlier trance. “I'm not supposed to be here.”

 

With that, Yuki started to briskly walk towards the lake. The wind and water seemed to respond to his actions in kind. The sky darkened, lake seemed to swell to receive him, and the breeze began to swirl around them with the electric energy of a brewing storm.

 

“Yuki! What are you doing?” Akito cried out in alarm as he instantly rose to his feet and held on to the other young man's arm.

 

“Akito, you have to let me go,” Yuki stated calmly, not shifting his eyes away from the frightening vision unfolding or making an effort to struggle away from the other man's hold either.

 

Akito shook his head childishly and tightened his grip on the other young man's arm. “No! Please! Don't leave me alone! Not now that you… Please! Not again!”

 

“I have to go,” Yuki spoke again in that calm tone. “Someone has been waiting for me for a long time.”

 

Akito's eyes widened in fear upon hearing the other man's words, “No… NO! YOU CAN'T!”

 

“You can't stay here either,” Yuki turned slightly, to look at Akito from the corner of his eye before continuing in a gentler tone. “Everyone's waiting for you too.”

 

Akito stared at the other young man speechlessly. Then without warning, Yuki's figure slowly dissolved into a flurry of peach blossoms, the delicate petals slipping easily through Akito's grasp.

 

“Yu… Yuki…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

******

 

“YUKI!!!”

 

The frightened scream pierced through the walls and echoed out the hallways. For a moment, Haru and Rin caught each other's eyes, frozen in shock. The next moment, Haru slammed open Akito's sliding door and tore towards their Master to find the Dog struggling with their master.

 

“Akito, calm down. No one's going to hurt you now,” Shigure stated soothingly as he tried to keep the younger man from bolting out of the room.

 

“YUKI! STOP HIM SHIGURE! STOP YUKI!”

 

Haru instantly felt a pang of panic shoot through him upon hearing his master's words. He felt Rin clutch his arm from behind him.

 

“Yuki's fine, Hatori is looking after him right now,” Shigure continued in that soothing voice. Though there was no mistaking the anxiety that mirrored Haru's feelings etched on Shigure's face.

 

“YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!” Akito screamed insistently. “YUKI'S LEAVING!”

 

Haru turned cold at their master's revelation. He didn't know if it was true, but after hearing Akito's words, he realized “something” had definitely changed. There was a heavy cloud of inexplicable loss around them.

 

Akito's hand clung to Haru's pants leg and pulled him back to reality. He looked down to meet Akito's desperate eyes. “Stop him! Don't let him leave!”

 

For a split second, Haru met Shigure's eyes with unspoken understanding and felt Rin nudge him with encouragement. Then Haru rushed through the Main House's hallways in full speed, with a looming sense of dread slowly engulfing his entire being with every step.

 

“No. Not again. Please don't let me be too late again,” Haru mumbled to himself, desperately trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill out his eyes.

 

Images of the past selves that Akito revealed him flashed through his mind. He couldn't understand why, but every single one of his past selves seemed to have chosen this path… making a personal vow to protect the Rat, only bring aid too late. Haru vowed that it won't be the same with Yuki. That's why he chose to protect him by staying at their Master's side. But now, knowing what he now knows… he started to doubt if he made the right decision.

 

His steps slowed to a complete halt when he reached his destination. That sense of dread had now grown into a great sense of horror at the sight that met him. Save for those who stayed behind with Akito, the rest of the jyunnishi decided to hold their vigil at Yuki's side. And every single one of them was crying.

 

Momiji ran to him. Haru felt his cousin's grab his arm to stop him from entering the room. The Rabbit said something. But the numbness kept the Rabbit's words from completely registering in Haru's mind.

 

`It's over, Haru…' was all he heard as an unsettling numbness replaced that sense horror. “…it's all over…”

 

He briskly untangled himself from his cousin's grasp and continued walking toward Yuki's door despite further protests from the rest of the jyuunishi who had gathered around him. But nothing could stop him now. He made a promise that this time it won't end the same way. Nothing and no one will stop him from going to Yuki. Not even if all the jyuunishi stood in his way, or even God himself.

 

As he entered the door, Haru couldn't hear anything at all. It was as if a cocoon had engulfed him, preventing him from hearing or feeling. He didn't see anything else other the sight of Yuki's lifeless form cradled in Kagura's arms, of Hatori bent over them, of Tooru weeping in Ayame's arms, of the Snake watching the scene with anxious eyes. The tears Haru was holding back finally spilled in torrents, as he released a pained cry he didn't realize that he was holding in his chest. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder, as if to both reassure him and lead back out of the room.

 

His reaction was immediate.

 

Fortunately, the person who reached out to him seemed to have expected his black personality to surface and was able to dodge the indignant action. Haru didn't want to be reassured. He didn't want to be comforted. He didn't want anyone touching him at all. He refused to accept anything that would mean verifying the reason for his grief.

 

But everyone's persistence to reach out to him was just as strong as his rage. Despite the full strength of his black personality, Haru found himself engulfed in a multitude of inescapable arms, determined to hold him… hug him… comfort him… leading him firmly out of the room until there was nothing else Haru could do but surrender in their collective strength and weep.

 

“GODDAMMIT! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?!” Kyou's furious scream blared over his head. “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO BLACK AT A TIME LIKE THIS?”

 

“It's not his fault, Kyou-niisan,” Kisa replied, tightening his hold on Haru's shoulders as if to protect him from the Cat's wrath. “Haru-niisan is just as worried as we all are.”

 

Kyou started to sputter a retort but the small bundle in his arms emitted a loud bawling noise of protest immediately extinguishing whatever spiteful words the Cat was about to say. Kyou gave Haru another indignant glare before turning his attention to his daughter. “Now look at what you've done. It took forever to calm her down after the first round of chaos. Now, you had to go and get her going again!”

 

The aura of Haru's Black personality automatically melted at those words. Just as instantly, Haru was hit by a bolt of shock as the Ox realized that his cousin was cradling the fussing baby girl his arms as normally as any doting father would. He turned the rest of the jyuunishi around him in complete bewilderment as they finally loosened their hold on him.

 

“It's over Haru,” Momiji said again, as if to answer Haru's questioning gaze. “I don't know how or why, but it's finally all over.”

 

“Hatsuharu-kun,” Tooru called out softly from the doorway.

 

As Haru turned to face her, the young woman rushed towards him to give him a warm hug. Haru instinctively braced himself for his inevitable transformation, only to be hit by another wave of astonishment as nothing happened. It was only then that Haru realized that the young woman's tears were tears of happiness. He tightened his hold and relished the warmth of her embrace amidst the chorus of joyful sobs of the rest of former jyuunishi around them.

 

“Hatori-san said that it's okay for everyone to see Yuki-kun now,” Tooru managed to state happily through her own sniffles, before quickly adding with a small laugh, “but not all at once.”

 

“Yuki's alive,” Haru stated aloud as he stared at the young woman in front of him dumbly.

 

“Is THAT what this is all about? Geez!” Kyou growled as he rolled his eyes in exasperation. “You're such an idiot! Why won't he be?”

 

“Who are you calling an idiot?” Haru growled back at the Cat, his black personality stirring again.

 

“Now, don't you two start!” Kagura's voice interrupted irritably from the doorway, before turning to Haru in a gentler tone. “Why don't you come first, Haru-chan.”

 

Before Haru could react, he felt Tooru guide him back into the room. He had grown to hate the cacophony of the respirator and monitors whenever he visited Yuki. He never thought that one day, that the noises he once dreaded to hear would sound like a symphony of music to his ears. Hatori gave him a silent reprimanding look as they entered, but Haru could see the relief and joy in the older man's eyes behind the tired glare. From the corner of his eye, Kagura rushed to Ayame, who have retreated to the far corner of the room. Left on his own, the former jyuunishi Snake was finally overcome by his own emotions.

 

As Haru finally turned his gaze to Yuki, he suddenly felt afraid. He couldn't understand why. For a brief moment, another wave of anxiety fell over him. Sensing his hesitation, Tooru gave his hand an encouraging squeeze and led him closer to her husband's bed side. It didn't seem like there was any difference on Yuki's condition as Haru gazed down on him. Yuki looked as if he was still sleeping serenely. Tooru, then let go of Haru's hand to take her husband's left hand. Haru held his breath as his cousin's fingers slowly moved to twine with the young woman's hand. Then just as slowly, Yuki opened his eyes with great effort and managed to look up at them through swollen, half-opened lids.

 

Haru allowed a sob to escape from his chest as recognition glimmered in his cousin's gentle eyes when their gaze met. For an odd reason, he remembered the first time he talked to Yuki when they were children at that moment. The Ox couldn't help but feel foolish with his earlier actions as his own eyes misted once again. He let out a forced laugh through the tightness in his throat as he wiped his tears with his sleeve. “I guess I really am an idiot, am I?”

 

Yuki simply closed his eyes and a soft gurgling sound that could have been a laugh resonated from his throat as his lips broke into a lopsided smile.

 

 

To be concluded (for real)

 

~~@~~

 

AUTHOR'S SQUAWK:

 

The story with no (planned) ending is finally coming to an end! ^_^. A little over three years in the making with the last two chapters taking a good chunk of the last year. ^_^. I'll say my proper thank you at the end of the epilogue. I just want to gentle reminder that this fic was written before the Student council took a major role in FURUBA, as well as the infamous “Akito revelation”. I would say the fic followed canon until the Summer Villa episode… after that, I decided to keep it moving on its own path. So Akito remains male, Machi doesn't exist, Yukiru lives! ^_^. Heh-heh. Anywayz… thanks for keeping on reading up to this point... and see you on the epilogue.

 

Comments and criticisms to ina_chan@yahoo.com

 

Ja!

Ina-chan