Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Kiss Away My Tears ❯ One-Shot

Disclaimer: I don't own Furuba.

Note: Co-written with my dear friend, Ali. (Bizarre Love Triangle)[Mediaminer.org] We were thinking about it, and came to the conclusion that there aren't enough fics out there where Akito's with someone who actually loves him. Thus, we present this to you. Enjoy.

Kiss Away My Tears

         & nbsp;  Akito was sitting out on his porch, allowing Hatori to give him his check up. It really was a beautiful day. It was nice and warm outside. The little head was actually smiling as he basked in the sunshine. There were bird chirps in the air, and the grass swayed in the fresh breeze. When his check up was complete, Akito requested softly that the dragon stay with him a little longer. Even though Akii was asking nicely, Hatori didn't actually have a choice other than to agree. Akii's company was pleasant for once, though. He just sat next to the doctor and enjoyed the weather. A bird came down to perch on him and he suddenly frowned. His head dropped and his dark hair hid his face. When he shoulder started to shake Hatori had to wonder if he was ill. But when he put a concerned arm around Akito's shoulders the little man looked up. He was crying and his dark eyes were wide.

            "Akito-san?" The dragon wondered aloud, was he in pain?

            "H..." The head grabbed the front of Hatori's shirt and looked up desperately. "Hatori... I-i don't..." He cried harder, even though he really was trying to stop. "I don't want t-to die!" His cousin's eyes widened and there wasn't anything he could say. "Please, Hatori!" Akii begged. "Please, don't let me die." he leaned forward against the dragon's chest as he sobbed. He wanted to be able to enjoy nice days like this… "I-i.. w-what did I d-do... W-why aren't... aren't I f-fit to live... like... like everyone else?" Hatori held him close as he continued. "N-nothing... I-i have noth-nothing to live for... b-but t-to die.." He was exhausting his weak body like this. "Please... help me..." He sniffled as he went limp in the dragon's arms. Hatori stared at him coolly for a moment before softening and taking him over to his futon. He checked for a fever... but Akito had really just over done it with the crying...

            Akito's gardens were only separated from the main grounds by one fence, so the sound from inside those gardens carried with relative ease. This was the only reason that Hatsuharu heard Akito crying to begin with. For once, he actually wasn't lost, simply lacking in required activity, and he'd decided to go walk around for a while. It really was only bad timing (or, perhaps it was good?) that had him close to that fence at that particular moment. When he first heard the sniffling start, he made to move on, but once those pitiful pleas hit his ears, he couldn't help but stop and listen to the rest. It was just curiosity. He frowned as an unusual thought came to mind. Akito really did just sound lonely... Lonely. What a perfectly Hatsuharu like understatement. If it weren't for Hatori, Kureno, and Shigure, Akito probably would have committed suicide a thousands times by now. But what felt worse to him... was how that none of them loved him. They came to see him, or took care of him like an obligation... Since they knew he was just going to die soon anyways. Might as well? Oh well, he's asleep now. Haru wandered off thoughtfully, back toward his room. It was Saturday... That meant he wouldn't have school the next day. He really wasn't too fond of Akito, but it didn't seem right to just hear the guy crying and continue to ignore him. Really, it didn't. Maybe he'd... visit for a while Sunday. It would keep him from having to deal with Momiji, anyway. And, besides, what harm could it do?

             It wouldn't do any harm... But it certainly surprised the little man. To have Hatsuharu showing up in his room like that... He was angry with himself for letting his control slip the previous day. It wasn't the first time it had happened either... Despite that, it was nice to think perhaps someone actually wanted to be around him of their own free will. But to Akito that seemed an out of reach fantasy. The ox must want something and he was going to find out what. Well, this was just a bit more awkward that Haru had planned on. Especially when he ran into that little issue of not really having anything to say... At all. And the small talk was starting to get to him after a few minutes. Akii wasn't bothered by it. He knew his cousin would crack and tell him what he wanted soon. So in the meantime, he put up a sugary sweet smile and asked the ox to come out into the little garden with him.  Haru obeyed. After all, he'd come to spend time with Akito, and Goddamnit, he was hell bent on doing so. As is obligatory, some sweetly chirping little bird came down to the head. He caught it and a flicker of a smile reached his lips but it was mostly in his eyes. He blinked it away quickly, turning to more of a sly smile as he offered it to the ox's shoulder and murmured something about the kind of bird. He hoped he was making the other suitably uncomfortable... Even if he was enjoying having someone other than his slave Kureno to talk to. Well... uncomfortable was one way of putting it... Awkward, confused, and wondering why he'd decided to do this in the first place. But, well, it was too late to change his mind. He'd need to wait for Akito to tell him to leave before he could. The bird...didn't like him either. Like, at all. The head chuckled and shooed it away before it got a chance to draw blood on the ox.

            "All right, Hatsuharu. That was enjoyable. But, if you're done pretending, would you like to tell me what you want now?" He asked, going over and idly dipping a finger into the birdbath to watch the ripples.

            "I..." He frowned. Why was he here? Because he'd heard Akito crying and felt sorry for him? Because he wanted to get to know him better, or to try and discover what made him do what he did? Because he was bored and had nothing better to do? "Because you're my cousin, and considering how close together we live, it seems a little silly to only see you once a year?" He offered finally. That... really the only excuse he could come up with. It was a good thing Akito had his back turned to Haru, or the ox might have seen the pained look that came to his face.

            Akii cleared his throat before replying. "None of the others seem to think it silly at all." Point one in the Akito loneliness factor.

            "Well," He frowned to that. He had a point. "You're talking about Momiji and Kagura."

            "Even when the others still lived here." The little head corrected tersely. Bitterness just oozed out of him. When he was a child it sent him into rages often. He'd calmed down a bit as he got older... But any massive threat of abandonment still did it to him.

            "I don't speak for them." He shrugged, eyes glued politely to the floor. After all, this was still Akito, and Haru was still curse-bound to respect him.

            "Hn..." Akii smirked confidently, even though he was shifting nervously under his robes. "Well... Thank you for the sentiment Hatsuharu. It does get... rather unpleasant only seeing Hatori and Kureno every single day... except for the occasions the dog decides he wants to ask me for something." he twitched noticeably and turned away again. He hadn't meant to get annoyed and tell Haru that. Haru ignored it, though. He was good at that, or, better than some.

            "It's not a problem." He replied finally. The head's shoulders drooped a little. He was letting his resentment get the better of him, again. Perhaps he could get some further enjoyment out of this meeting... He called Haru over to the bench and asked him quiet questions about school, and his life. He couldn't talk about himself; there was nothing to say. But this way he could pretty much live vicariously through the ox's answers. Well, the longer he was there, the easier it seemed to get to answer, or ask questions himself. Not that... there was really much to ask. But the conversation in general seemed to get less tense. Haru almost forgot that this was the person who had done so many terrible things to the people he cared about. It wasn't hard to forget, actually, after a while. It was getting later in the day and Akito was amazed the ox was still there... and still managing to be flawlessly polite. Maybe he was just that good an actor... No, the tenseness that came with most of his servants was gone. They would probably both be hungry and Akii blinked at Haru for a while, rather than answering the question he'd been asked.

"You'll come back?" He asked suddenly with a suspicious under tone.

            "Ah--" He blinked, a little confusion surfacing for a moment, but he shoved it back quickly enough. "Uh... sure." He agreed with a small nod. Akito wasn't so bad, he had no reason not to.

            "I've kept you all day." The diminutive head murmured, looking up at the sky, it was darkening. "You can go now."

            "Alright." Haru agreed, rising to his feet and bowing to his cousin, before scampering off to exit the room and head back to his own. He didn't understand what Yuki was so scared about. Akito really seemed like he was just lonely, to him. Akito watched him leave, and hurried to find Kureno before the loneliness got a chance to set in. Maybe he'd get his slave to play with him and then go to sleep...

            School felt a little weird for Haru the next day. He was only half paying attention to Momiji's babbling, and it was a bit difficult to answer any questions about what he'd done the day before. His other cousins didn't exactly... like Akito, and he really didn't want to find out what might happen if they found out. Not that it would really matter, but it was something he'd prefer to avoid all together.

            "Haaaru?" The bunny was crooning with interest. "Come on, were you on a date? You can tell me! Reaaaally." No he wouldn't blab... He'd just tell everyone.

            "Ah… no," He shook his head. He wasn't sure what that had been, but it wasn't a date. "No, it wasn't a date." The blonde pouted a little. It was lunchtime and he was tired of asking and getting absolutely nothing.

            "Hmph, I bet if Yuki asked you'd tell him." That wasn't a bad idea... maybe he should go find the rat.

            "Er... no." He rejected the idea. No, no, no. Telling Yuki would be a BAD idea. The lunch bell rang and the bunny pouted further. He'd pestered for the whole period and gotten nothing?

            "I'll find out from someone, Haru!" He threatened with a smile. He was usually able to get his nose in everyone's business. Just because Haru was being stubborn didn't mean someone wouldn't know.

            "More power to you, if you can." Haru shrugged it off. Momiji would probably catch him himself, eventually. His cousin stuck out his tongue and decided to just hurry up and go to class. He wasn't going to stay here and keep arguing with Haru and be late.

            Upon getting home, Haru dropped his things off and changed before, true to his word, walking the short distance to Akito's room. He's said he'd come back, and he intended to. Akito had been startled when the ox showed up the day before. But he was even more surprised when he came back. He hadn't commanded it; he'd only asked if that was his plan. And here the boy was again. The amazement played across his face and a smiled pulled at his lips. He remembered being like this when Kureno first took an interest in him... and the smile faded. He greeted the ox carefully.

            "Hello, Akito-san." Haru greeted with a bow, before he sat down in a kneeling position and got comfortable.  He didn't have much homework, and was prepared to stay as long as Akito wanted him to. A little of Akii's guard came back down and he proceeded to ask the ox about his day at school. He'd never gotten to go himself. He'd been stuck inside with no one but his damn mother since he was born. He liked to hear about his cousin's times. Haru repeated the uneventful happenings of his day, though he was careful to leave out all the interrogation he been subject to from Momiji. Akito didn't really need to know about that. Uneventful as it was, though, Akito looked honestly pleased to hear about it. He was suddenly wishing he could do something other than sit around and wait for his next boring duty or illness to strike. There were several questions Haru was quite tempted to fire off at Akito, but he decided against it. He really didn't want to press his luck, in case Akito really was as bad as everyone said. He wasn't sure, yet... The older man looked away for a moment when their conversation lulled. He had some other things he wished to ask as well, but he wasn't sure how the ox felt about it. Hmm... Maybe he could find that out first.

            "I don't think I've heard... what do you think of Miss Honda?" Currently SHE was one of the greatest banes of Akito's existence.

            "Eh?" Haru blinked, cocking his head a little. "She's nice enough." Yes, he was a bit jealous of Yuki's blatant crush on her, but he'd get over that, he was sure.

            "Yes... I suppose..." She was nice enough. Nice enough to steal not only Yuki, but Kyo and Shigure as well. No. Akito wasn't very fond of her.

            "Does it... really matter what I think of her?" He wanted to know, a bit curious about this.

            "Just curious to known if you felt the same as the others." Akii replied idly.

            "Ah, I don't think so." He shook his head. He knew Akito didn't appreciate anyone having crushes or relationships, so he wasn't going to say anymore--he hoped--but he really thought that, at least, Yuki and Kyo felt much more strongly about Tohru than he did.

            "That's nice to know." Akito forced up a lazy smile. "I keep losing my juunishi to her..."

            "Nnn." He didn't say much further, but he didn't really think Hiro liked her much either. Or that Rin would...

            Akito didn't feel like scaring off his guest just yet so he carefully changed the topic to something else. He didn't get out much, and Haru did. That was one of the things he was beginning to find he enjoyed about the ox... He got to hear about things he would NEVER ever do. Well, yes, this continued for a while until it started to get late, and Haru realized that he STILL had homework to do.

            "Um, Akito-san," He spoke up finally. "I have homework to do..."

            "Yes... I'm sorry." The head murmured. "Please, feel free to go."

Had...Akito just...apologized?

            "Ah... I can come back again, if you want...?" He offered.

            "If you wish to come. It would be exceedingly rude of me to take up all your time..." Even though that really was exactly what he wanted to do. He didn't want to be left alone with Hatori and Kureno again...

            "I can." He nodded, before getting to his feet, bowing again, and exiting the room. He wanted dinner, and he needed to finish that homework. Akito didn't go to Kureno this time. As a matter of fact... he told Kureno he could leave all together. He could have done something similar to Hatori the next day if he thought he could get away with it... But he really wasn't in the mood to die before he got to see his cousin again.

            "Momiji," Haru growled as they headed for home the next day. "Drop it. You're not finding out where I've been going, so just STOP asking."

            "If you won't tell me, someone on the compound will know. And I WILL find that person." The blonde nodded determinedly.

            "Nnn..." He groaned. "Remind me why this is so important?"

            "You've disappeared for almost all your free time for two full days?" Momiji blinked at him.

            "Well... yeah... but..." He still didn't see the big deal. It wasn't like he was shoving Momiji into Akito's rooms, after all. He wasn't sure why the bunny cared so much.

            Momiji doesn't have anything better to do than bug Haru. "It's fun investigating your scandalous affairs anyways."

            "Scandalous affairs?" He repeated, raising an eyebrow at him. That was an odd way of putting it.

            "That's what it usually is." The bunny nodded with a smile.

            "I really don't think that's the most accurate way of putting it." He mused, pondering it. No, scandalous affair just didn't seem to fit the situation...

            "Oh? What's better?" Momiji crooned.

            "Just how stupid do you think I am?" He questioned, poking him on top of the head. His cousin made an innocent face in response, a face he had perfected.

            "Someone's gonna smack you someday," Haru commented, quickening his pace as they approached the gates. He wanted to get to his room, before Momiji could get any more suspicious.

            "Nuh-uh." Nobody hits Momiji and Momiji knows it. Only Kyo, but he's just a meany.

            "Just keep pushing your luck, and someone will."

            "Nnn." The bunny stuck out his tongue. "I'll see you later Haru." He skipped off to his own home after the gate. Thinking of whom to interrogate to bust Haru...

            "Yeah, later." He waved, before heading off for his own room. He did his homework first today, though. He had more, and didn't feel like being up till two in the morning again. It didn't take too long though, and he went to go see Akito once he was finished.

            "Hello," The little man smiled a little bit for the ox from where he was over at his little table drinking tea. He invited his cousin over as well.

            "Hello, Akito-san." Haru greeted with his usual politeness and bow. Akito was in process of offering Haru one of the teacups when he noticed a little something. Kureno was watching. This rather perturbed the little head... He frowned. He knew he had told the rooster to go out or something. Just stop hanging around like that, if he needed him he'd find him. But no... There he was... In his distraction he let go of the teacup before the ox got a chance to take it. Haru winced as it hit the floor before he could catch it. Mumbling a quiet apology, he started to reach for the broken shards, to clean them up.

            "Stop." His cousin hissed suddenly, turning his head quickly after a short glare in the rooster's direction. Haru blinked, a little, but halted in his movement and stayed very, very still. "I did it..." Akito murmured, sounding angry. Maybe, because he was... He frowned as he continued. "I can do it. You... You are not a slave." That comment was directed straight at the spying rooster. "You must excuse me." He finally said as he reached down and, just as he had said, took care of it on his own. He wasn't two. He could do it. Haru just sat back up straighter, and watched him with an odd look. Maybe Akito was weirder than he'd given him credit for?

            The last thing Akito needed was another Kureno... Or a Hatori... or a Yuki... He didn't want that anymore. Akito was determined not to make another fear induced slave. Now that he thought about it, Shigure was like that at first too. And he DEFINATELY didn't want another Shigure. One was infuriating enough. So once he'd cleaned up the broken pottery, he got another cup out of the nearby cabinet and tried again at offering his guest a cup of tea. Haru made SURE to get a hold of the cup before Akito let go of it again, murmuring thanks as he did so. It was good tea... Akito had to drink some of his own tea and calm back down. But once he did, he smiled a little and proceeded with the usual pleasant conversation he had with the ox. As usual, Haru answered all his questions with no argument. He still wouldn't offer up any unrelated information, though. He didn't really see the point.

            One of the next times Haru met with Akito... The little man was not so happy. He was about to throw something into the wall. Hatori's visit and Kureno's attempts to help were just irritating him further, and by now he'd forgotten the ox was even supposed to show up. And so, Haru was met with a less than pleasant surprise when he knocked on Akito's door that particular day.

            Akii growled.  "WHAT IS IT NOW?! NO! LET ME GUESS! RITSU HAS BROKEN SOME IRREPLACABLE PIECE OF ARTWORK! WE'RE BEING SUED AND WE'LL BE ON THE FRONT PAGE TOMORROW!"

            "Ah..." He took a step back from the door. Maybe this was a bad time... Yes... Now was a bad time. The head did eventually tired himself out raging though, and ended up lying moodily on his futon wondering if it had been Haru who had knocked earlier.

            Well, either way, Haru didn't return that afternoon. He went to go escape any form of wrath in his own room. Even the next day, he was feeling rather reluctant to go back, but after more questioning from Momiji, he was willing to do it, if only to prove a point. So, he did. Though, it could be noted that his knock was somewhat more cautious that day.

            "Come in..." Akito murmured tiredly from where he was all the way across the room. Out on the porch, leaned against the support with his back to the room. He wasn't even sure if whoever was at the door could hear him. But if no one came in... He MIGHT try again louder. Haru heard him, sort of. Either way, he cracked open the door and entered. And he almost choked when he did this. Akito looked like an actual person. He wasn't wearing his kimono that day, and had lost a good deal of the invalid look by wearing clothes that actually fit him. The head flopped onto his back and arched his neck a bit so he could see who it was.

            "Hello, Hatsuharu..." He mumbled. He hadn't dared take the suit he was wearing off yet. Since, he wasn't sure what other family head duties he would be forced to go do today.

            "Ah, hi, Akito-san." He responded, with his usual bow before actually looking over his cousin. "Uh--is this a bad time? You look... tired."

            "I'm better now that I kicked Hatori and Kureno out." The man replied, still looking at the ox upside down from where he lay on the floor. That really didn't answer his question. But, he brushed this aside and took the not being thrown out as in invitation to stay, and just knelt down where he was by the door.

            "Those horrid reporters didn't bother you did that?" Akito sighed. "I hope they left like I told them to..."

            "Mm... I didn't go in through the front gate." He'd noticed the reporters, and taken it as a sign to go climb a tree. So he had. And he'd used that tree to climb over the fence and avoid the angry journalist mob all together.

His cousin made an annoyed noise. He'd get up and call the police to get rid of them if they didn't leave soon. Akii couldn't make himself be angry for much longer though. He was too tired right now. Haru considered offering to leave again, but he didn't bother. He'd manage to get his homework done, and obviously Akito wanted him there, or he'd have been told to get out before then. Akito was quiet for a little while, his breathing deep and his eyes closed. He looked asleep, but then the dark teal color of his irises glimmered.

            "Did... you come yesterday?"

            "Ah, yeah." Haru nodded, a little ashamed that he'd gotten frightened so easily and had left. "But… you were angry, and I didn't think you'd want the company."

            "I... was afraid that had been you." Akito confessed to himself. "I really should wait until I know who's at the door before I yell... Kagura got out of a scolding yesterday because of that..." Haru just made a noncommittal noise, and tried to keep the confusion off his face. That certainly was an odd thing for Akito to say? "She hurt someone at her college and managed to break some expensive piece of equipment while she was at it." Akii frowned, rolling onto his side finally since blood was rushing to his head in his current position. "We're being sued for that by the girls family and the college." He officially hated lawyers now.

            "Why'd she do that?" Haru really had no room to talk, but considering it was White that Akito was conversing with, it really wasn't his fault.

            "I don't know yet. I haven't gotten a chance to speak with her. I think she went and whimpered at Hatori for help, or something to the like." The man grumbled a little.  Haru just sighed. Knowing Kagura, the poor girl probably said something NICE, and the boar got overwhelmed and lost it. Akito finally pushed himself up and crawled over to the ox.

            "It's not good for us to be in the newspaper two days in a row..." He mumbled quietly. It brought to much attention to their cursed family. "Thank you so much for not doing anything to get us bombarded with lawsuits and interviewers." He was honest too. It was a hassle.

            "It's usually something I try to avoid." This was also honest. Hatsuharu didn't appreciate being on camera, and considering it was usually Black's fault that he was, he avoided it even more so.

            "Nnn." Akito moaned before falling the short distance to lying on the floor and falling asleep. Today had been exhausting... he couldn't take anymore. Even though he WANTED to stay awake and talk to Haru... That didn't work out though. So, Haru got to sit there and wait for him to wake up again. Well, no one got their homework done every time... Kureno appeared at some point, actually. And he was willing to risk Akito's wrath by shooing the ox out and putting his 'master' onto his futon. Haru mouthed a silent 'thank you' before going off to do that homework. He didn't mind keeping Akito company, but there were so many things more entertaining than watching him sleep.

            It took a long time to get everything with Kagura and Ritsu sorted out... Ritsu really had broken a piece of pottery... Everyone who had been dealing with Akii's temper were looking forward to things calming down... But that wasn't to be. Because to put it bluntly, like Hatori:

            "Akito-san. You have a fever."

            Now, no one bothered to tell Haru that Akito was sick. Of course, Haru, Akito, and Kureno were the only ones who knew he'd been going to see him. So, Hatori was still there when Haru finished his homework and showed up that afternoon for his daily visit. And the ox really could have lived without that. Akii's fever had gotten to the point of slight delirium and he had NO idea someone else was there. So Hatori got up to open the door.

"Hatsu-haru..." He blinked coolly for a moment. He had NO idea why the boy would be here.

            "Uh..." Haru also blinked, in blatant confusion. "Tori-nii..." Hatori was usually finished with Akito's check-up by now.

            "Are you sure this is the room you're looking for?" The dragon asked. It wouldn't surprise him if the kid were lost. "This is Akito-san's room, you know?"

            "Ah... yeah... pretty sure." He nodded. Yep, that'd been where he'd been aiming. "Is he okay?"

            "He's not dead." The doctor stated dryly and turned to look at the head when he started groaning unhappily again. The ox was forgotten as he went back to his charge quickly. Haru frowned a little and peeked in through the still open door. Akito didn't look okay... Once Akii quiet back down Hatori returned.

            "He's sick and has a fever."

            "I... couldn't tell..." The younger murmured with just a sarcastic edge to his tone. It didn't carry any of the bite he'd intended.

            "So, is there a reason you're here, Hatsuharu?" His older cousin wondered.

            "I told him I'd come?" He offered with a raised eyebrow. Hatori would have to be a HUGE hypocrite to question him after all the times the dragon had kept Akito company. He wasn't that big a hypocrite was he?

            "I'm not sure he'll know you're here. And if he does if he'll let you stay." The doctor sighed. "He sent Kureno out already..."

            "Mmm..." Haru carefully kept his face clear of any concern that might have snuck onto it. "How long is he usually like this?"

            "A few days at least. More if he decides to be difficult and refuse to rest." Hatori shrugged.

            "Mm..." He frowned just a bit more. "Uh... well, if he wakes up enough to notice, you'll tell him I actually came, right?"

            "If you want." The older agreed.

            "Yeah." He nodded. He'd TOLD Akito he'd come, after all. "Thanks." He muttered, backing up and walking the few doorways to his own room. He was a bit insulted that Hatori would think he'd walk too far and get lost. But what can Ha'ri say? The kid's directional skills suck.

            Hatori did as the ox requested, once Akito was well enough to actually comprehend what he was saying, and told him that Haru had come by to see him. A small smile came to Akito's face at that news... But besides that... someone knows where Haru's been going now. Well, once he was confident that Akito was well again, Haru tried--once again--to keep his promise to visit. So, the following Sunday, he did, indeed, try again. Akii smiled for him when he appeared. His poor weak self was still a bit pale after his illness. But he was much bettered compared to when he was delirious with a fever.

            "Hatsuharu." He greeted with a small smiled before shooing the fussing Kureno out of the room.

            "Hello, Akito-san." Haru nodded to him around a small yawn. He hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep the night before. "Tori-nii said you were sick?"

            "It wasn't that bad." Akito frowned. "He and Kureno exaggerate. But you sound tired?"

            "Nnn." He shook his head a little. "I'm fine." He promised, waving it off.

            "Hmm..." The head let the subject drop. "Hatori told me came... I'm sorry I was too..." He looked down at his weak body with extreme disgust. "…to see you..."

            "Don't worry about it." He blinked at him. "I mean you can't help it."

            "Right... I can't do anything about it..." Akii murmured bitterly. After some frowning and shaking his head he proceeded to push for details on what had gone on while he was indisposed. Unfortunately for him, Haru only knew about what he'd done, which really hadn't been much. He'd done his normal things, school, homework, train, that kind of stuff. His companion was quick to shove the bitterness aside and listened to what the ox was saying with a small smile. It was so much more interesting than what Hatori or Kureno might have to say. Those were the only two people in the world who were more boring than himself. Well, eventually that conversation was exhausted. Through all the mandatory small talk, Haru had been thinking about something. About what Akito had said before. Really, he thought everyone had things they'd like to change about themselves, but couldn't. He himself had about twelve he could list right off the top of his head. Still, he didn't mention any of this to Akito. He just kept answering whatever questions popped into Akito's head. Akii was doing the oddest thing, too. He was smiling; and it was an actually HAPPY smile. Not just amused or distracted or thankful to not be lonely, His eyes even crinkled up a little. It wasn't just a fluke either, he kept at it for a while until his face slid back into his calm mask and he came over closer to the ox.

"You'll come back tomorrow?" He wondered quietly. His cousin usually come whether he asked or not, but he was beginning to actually look forward to spending time with him. Someone who had actually had some life to him. So, he felt compelled to make his eagerness known. Maybe it would be an incentive to make sure the ox KEPT doing it.

            "Mm." Haru nodded. He was actually enjoying these visits himself. Akito smiled cutely for a moment before murmuring that it was late and Haru should go to dinner. Haru blinked, and glanced at the nearest clock. It was later than he'd thought, he'd lost track of time.

            "Ah, right." he agreed after a minute. "I'll... see you tomorrow..." He murmured, getting up, and bowing before leaving.

            It was the next day when they were having their much-anticipated visit. There was a knock on the door that brought the little head out of his smiling entirely. He looked over at the door before frowning a little.

            "Yes?" He finally wondered, since the sooner he took care of whatever this person wanted, the sooner they could leave. He murmured a short apology to Haru about the interruption as well.

            "Good afternoon, Akito-san." Shigure chirped, opening the door and peeking in. "How are you this after--" He paused as his eye caught Haru. "Haa-kun?" He blinked, a little confused. What was Haru doing there?

            "Ah... Sensei." Haru nodded in greeting. Maybe if he were REALLY calm about this, Shigure wouldn't make a big deal about it. Yeah, that was the plan. Just act like this was normal.

            That made Akito's frown turn into a slightly annoyed pout. "What is it that you want, Shigure?" He asked. It'd been a while since the dog had bothered to visit... and at the moment... he was a bit out of Akii's favor.

         & nbsp;  "Well, I came to see you, Akito-san." Shigure blinked--almost innocently--at him. As though it was the most obvious thing in the world. The head slowly looked at Haru out of the corner of his eye then returned his gaze to the older man.

         & nbsp;  "As you can see," He replied carefully. "I am already engaged."

Meaning: I'm busy. Leave.

            "Ah, yes, I can see that." He agreed. Yes, already engaged indeed. "My apologies for the interruption then." Akii made a small noise of annoyance, watching him leave before returning his attention to the ox. Shigure could just go bother Hatori for all he cared.

            Indeed, that is where the dog skipped off to next.

            "Haa-san," He called, knocking eagerly on the dragon's door. Whenever something odd happened in the Sohma family and Shigure found out, of course the first place he'd be going would be Hatori.

            "Nnn..." The poor doctor sighed before forcing himself to get up and let his friend in. "Why, hello Shigure, what a surprise." He murmured dryly.

            "I just went to see Akito-san," Shigure stated with a wide grin, to hide the confusion just BEGGING to surface. "But you'll NEVER guess who was already there."

            "Oh?" Hatori was waiting for this 'great' thing Shigure had found out, while he went to sit on his couch.

            "Haa-kun." Shigure stated knowingly. "Haa-kun was visiting with Akito-san. I wonder why..."

            "I think he's there a lot." The dragon shrugged.

            "Oh?" Shigure blinked, a little disappointed that Hatori had already known. "And you didn't partake in your duty as a Sohma to gossip and share this unusual news?"

            "I try not to." Hatori confirmed. He really didn't like how horribly gossipy his family was actually. "Kureno said he's been visiting, and he came by when Akito was sick too."

            "Hmmm..." He pondered that thoughtfully for a moment. "That's odd. I wonder why..."

            "No idea." Tori sighed. "And it's none of our business either. Unless of course you feel usurped, Shigure?" he almost snickered at the dog right there.

            "Our business or not, it just seems a little odd." Shigure shrugged, sitting down and choosing to ignore that last comment. "You wouldn't think Haa-kun would be too fond of Akito-san. Not enough to go see him regularly, anyway." Unless he was being threatened, but that was implied and unnecessary to state verbally.

            "Akito hasn't ever actually done anything to him."

            "No, but between Yuki-kun and Rin, you'd think he wouldn't like him out of principle." He reminded him. Akito HAD hurt both of the people Haru cared most about, after all.

            "Hmm," That was a point. "If you're so interested, stay for dinner and ask Hatsuharu." Was all he had to offer.

            "An excellent idea, Haa-san." The dog commended with a small clap. He'd go straight to the source.

            That was just what Shigure did. He tortured Hatori for a few hours until then, of course. But then, after dinner when he was sure Haru would be in his room, he went ox hunting. Haru blinked up at the door when he heard the knock, and frowned. Who could that be? He shrugged and got up, going over to the door and opening it.

            "Sensei?" He blinked, frowning a bit more. He should have known Shigure wouldn't just let that thing with Akito's room go. "Hi?"

            "Hello, Haa-kun." The dog crooned, ruffling his hair with a smile. "I've come to interrogate you as to your visiting our beloved little Akito-san's rooms as of late."

            "What about them?" He wanted to know, waiting for Shigure to come into his room, before shutting the door behind him. Maybe he wouldn't mention it to Yuki.

            "Nnn, just wondering why. Since thanks to my network of spies I know you've been there quite a bit recently." His cousin shrugged, entering as offered. "It's just... piqued my curiosity."

            "He seemed lonely." He shrugged, going back to sit on his futon, nodding for Shigure to take his desk chair. "So, I thought I'd go see him sometimes. That's all." He frowned a bit, maybe he'd better be sure. "But, do me a favor and don't mention it to Yuki?"

            "Oh of course not." Shigure waved it off. "Yuki-kun tries to deny it, but he's just as big a drama queen as Aaya. If I told him he'd probably have a heart attack."

            "You see my point then." Haru nodded in agreement. He didn't want to hurt Yuki any more than he already had been.

            "Hn..." The dog murmured as he took his seat in that chair. "So Akito-san has gotten himself another sympathetic visitor, has he..." It was mostly to himself; just happened that Haru could hear it.

            "Not entirely." Haru shrugged. "You'd be surprised. He's a surprisingly good conversationalist."

            "He developed that skill when he was little. Before he got Yuki-kun. That was when he only saw his mother and his tutor." Shigure filled him in idly. He knew quite about Akito, since for a long time when the boy was younger the dog was the ONLY person he really trusted.

            "Before he got Yuki?" Haru echoed with a raised eyebrow. That made it sound like Yuki was a birthday present, or something.

            "Yuki-kun's mother gave him to Akito-san." It pretty much was a birthday present... A very merry un-birthday, is all.

            "Oh?" Haru blinked. He'd always assumed Yuki had just moved into the main house, not that he'd been given to Akito. Which, in retrospect, really was a bit illogical.

            "Mmm, well. I suppose my questions have been answered for the most part. I'll let you be in peace now." The dog grinned, easily getting off the unpleasant subject of how Akito acquired Yuki. He got up with a whistle and headed for the door.

            "Uh--yeah. Bye." He waved him off, not bothering to get up again. "Shut the door on your way out." He added. The mutt did so before heading back to his house. He'd have to apologize to Tohru for staying out longer than he said he would, when he got back.

            Well, as usual and as promised, Haru returned to Akito's room the next day, once school was out. He wasn't sure why he'd even stayed in the whole day--it'd left him with a pounding headache, and he'd gone Black three and a half times. But, he'd drugged himself with aspirin, and calmed himself a (hopefully) suitable amount, and was now knocking on Akito's door. The poor little head had taken to watching the clock at first, when he realized it wouldn't be TOO long before the ox appeared. But that got tiresome, and he had fallen asleep in the hopes of time passing quicker. He stirred a bit at the knock and called gently for whomever it was to enter.  That tone sounded out of place on the usually so composed head, but Haru ignored it and just went in as he was told, with his usual greeting and bow. Akii pulled himself together enough to look a little less sleep rumpled as he came to sit with his cousin. Their usual conversation had started... But... Despite seeing the ox every day for several weeks he didn't know much about him. What kind of girls, boys did he like? When he wasn't being rude and sucking up all the ox's time, what did he like to do? Did he like music? The list went on and on, and Akito mentioned all this quietly to the ox. Haru just blinked at him, a little surprised and confused by this. Why so suddenly?

            "Well... what do you want to know?" He questioned, cocking his head a little. They started out with easy, obvious things. Like did Haru like to play sports? And they slowly scooted towards other things. They were currently on relationships with other people... Akito knew all about his infatuation with Yuki, but he wondered if he'd moved past that and had an eye for someone else now.

            "Eh..." Haru frowned, pondering that. "Yes and no." He replied in response to the 'are you over him yet' question. Akii raised an eyebrow a little. His first assumption was that Haru was dividing himself between chasing after Yuki and pining for Rin. But, in a calm state, he never just says his assumptions. He asks if they're correct first.

            "No," Haru shook his head, when those assumptions were posed against him. His eyes were a little distant as he explained himself. "I'm not sure you could call it being 'over' him, but... it's more like giving up."

            "You're far too good for him anyways." Akii shrugged.

            "How come you don't like him?" He offered him an odd look. He'd been wondering for a while. He just couldn't see anything about Yuki that would spur such dislike.

            "I didn't dislike him as a child." Akito said in his own defense. "But now... I think melodramatics run in their little part of the family..." Yuki was horrible angsty and apathetic, no one can deny it.

            "But... that's because bad things happened to him." Haru pointed out. He considered pointing out that most (if not all) of those things happened because of Akito. But, he decided not to push his luck. Akii frowned a little, staying silent. That had to do with some insanity and abandonment issues that he wasn't willing to admit to yet. Therefore he carefully changed the subject to something safer... like Haru's favorite food...  And it went on like that. Once they were off Yuki, it got comfortable again rather quickly.

            After their first 'bonding session' more occurred and they were easier each time. The two of them understood that they just needed to steer clear of topics like Yuki or Rin... or... well... really any of the rather horrible things Akito had done. But one Sunday when Haru went to visit, he found Kureno and Hatori arguing lowly outside the head's door. Haru halted in his doorway, and listened silently to their argument from where they couldn't see him eavesdropping.

            "He already threw me out." The rooster was hissing. "Don't go in there and make it worse, Hatori!"

            "Oh, hurry up and put a damn band-aid on your pride." The doctor replied scathingly. "You know as well as I do that he always hurts himself when he gets this upset."

            "It's not about my pride." Kureno snorted. "It's about keeping him happy. Do you want him to throw something else at you?"

            The dragon snarled and he really wanted to smack the rooster. "Fine. You take care of him. I know it would do wonders to your hurt ego since it appears you've been replaced, again." Then Ha'ri was gone, fuming as he went. He hated when Kureno and Akito got like this. Haru just frowned, and quickly moved over to Akito's door once Hatori was gone, even though Kureno was still in the hall, and knocked on Akito's door. Since he'd started visiting Akito, he'd grown quite fond of him, and he honestly hated to see him unhappy by this point. Kureno watched him with a critical eye. He knew the kid wasn't going to get an answer. But unlike Hatori, he wanted to see the ox feeling Akito's wrath for intruding. Haru knocked again, a little more urgently this time. He could hear unhappy noises from inside, and he wanted to be able to help BEFORE Akito started crying.

            "Goddamnit, Kureno! I'll kill you! Go away." Akii's strained little voice came out, and then there was the sound of slamming screens as the head fled to his little garden, shutting the doors behind him as he went.

            "Akito-san!" Haru called through the door, giving up on knocking. "Akito-san, are you alright?" He...really felt the need to make sure. He felt the need to do a few other choice actions, but he wasn't sure if he'd get the opportunity. Akito whimpered softly to himself before pivoting carefully and opening the screen on his porch again. He'd gotten annoyed earlier this morning... With just everything. Being the family head especially... So he'd kicked Kureno out, refused to see Hatori, and changed his damn clothes. He was wearing something normal as he padded quietly across the room to open the door for the ox. He was nervous though. He felt dangerously close to tears, and didn't really want to be seen like that.

            "I--" Haru's words caught in his throat when he saw his cousin's expression. "I heard Kureno and Tori-nii talking and... They said you were upset." He didn't really care if Kureno heard him. All the guy did was follow orders. "Are you upset?" That was a little unnecessary, and probably just irritated Akito more, but... he wanted to know. His cousin looked at the doorframe rather than Haru and shook his head negatively. No he was fine. He was always fine. He was Akito. Nothing could possibly be wrong.

            "Are you sure? There was some crashing and... Stuff." Goddamnit! He was turning into some love struck idiot AGAIN! This time, though, he knew that might not be a safe thing to be. He wasn't sure what Akito would do if he found out. Hell, Hatsuharu himself wasn't sure, just yet. All he knew was he wanted Akito to be happy. Akito's head hung further. He didn't care if Kureno or Hatori... or Shigure... or anyone else for that matter knew about how he could lose it. But he didn't want this person to. The first person who didn't just submit to him like a slave, who didn't cower, who didn't take advantage of his loneliness. He didn't want Haru to know anything about it. Haru just gave him an odd look, but entered the room when Akito moved to let him in, and sat down in his usual spot. He didn't like seeing Akito like this... His cousin didn't come over to sit with him. He went over to the screens and opened them all before sitting down on the edge of the porch. His earlier rage, frustration, and general unhappiness hadn't left him... So he couldn't really have the ox being able to see him right now... He ended up holding tightly to the fabric of the blue jeans he'd found, turning his knuckles white with the effort of restraint. Haru sighed after a few minutes of awkward silence, and spoke up.

            "You call tell me, if or, why you're upset, you know." He wanted to assure. "I won't tell anyone." Akito turned to look at him for a moment. He hadn't gotten this bad since that day with Hatori.

            "H..." His whole body quivered and he tried calling the ox over to him again. "Hatsuharu..." Oh... God, he was going to start crying again... Crap!

            "Yes?" Haru replied, expertly keeping his tone and expression calm.

            "Please..." It was getting unpleasantly hard to speak. "Come here?" Haru obeyed, kneeling down again in front of Akito. He wanted him to calm down and stop almost crying already. It was too damn late for that. In the time it took the ox to get over there, the first of the tears had already gotten over and out of the diminutive man's eyes. He scowled when he felt it too, now that Haru was in front of him... he'd see it... So he rose up an angry hand to wipe it away and or cover the rest of his unhappy tinged features.

            Haru really should learn to stop his hands from moving when they weren't supposed to. Or, really all of his body parts. It would really save him some trouble. Like, for example, kissing the man who held his, and everyone he cared about's fate. Yeah, that was a little awkward. But, one moment he was sitting there, watching Akito cry, and the next, he was kissing him. He wasn't positive how he'd gotten there, that was just the way it was. Akii kissed back with a small whimper as his tears kept up their march down his cheeks. That wasn't to say he wasn't enjoying this... It was possibly the first kiss he hadn't forced onto someone else or asked for. It took Haru a few minutes before he managed to convince himself to pull back.

            "Ah... I'm--sorry... Akito-san." He managed finally.

            His cousin's breathing hitched a little bit but he shook his head quickly. "It's all right..." he snuffled out.

            "Please don't cry..." Haru requested finally, raising a finger up to wipe away Akito's tears. Akii's head drooped as he forced himself to stop. Quite literal force, his head hurt after doing it, actually.

            "I didn't want you to see that." He mumbled unhappily.

            "I don't mind." Haru assured him with a small smile. Very small. "I'm actually happy you opened up to me a little."

            "Nnn..." Akito groaned, not lifting his head up. "I'm tired of all this." He hated waiting to die, he hated being weak, he hated crying, he hated slaves, and he was just plain out tired of being the family head... Haru gave him a small look, and just nodded. Yeah, he knew how it felt to be tired with everything and just ready to stop dealing with it. He told Akito this too, in a small attempt to offer comfort. Akii nodded, very subdued, drooping a little before he got his hands to catch him. Great... he'd managed not to bawl, but now he felt worse than before...

            "You're tired." Haru stated unnecessarily. "Do you want to nap? I can leave, if you do..." The head shook his head, quickly grabbing one of his cousin's arms. It was a silent, obvious, pitiful plea to not be left alone.

            "Or, I can stay..." Haru offered quickly. "Which ever would make you feel better?" Akito scooted forward a little bit towards the ox. Then he carefully wrapped his arms around the other and rested his head on his shoulder. This was his. Even if Haru was probably too good for the likes of him. He's never cared about being selfish or greedy before. Haru blinked a little, and returned the gesture, by wrapping his arms around Akito's waist. He really hadn't meant to kiss him to begin with but, maybe this would be good, either way, he thought as he placed another light kiss on top of his cousin's head. Akito sighed calmly. This felt much better. He closed his eyes and waited for his post-tears head ache to vanish. Once his brain wasn't threatening to come out his eyeballs any longer, he breathed in deeply and thanked his white haired tranquilizer softly.

"Mm." He shook his head a little. "It's not a problem." They pretty much stayed in that room the rest of the day. When Haru did finally leave, a frowning Kureno, who was STILL waiting out in the hallway, greeted him. Akito finally let the rooster come back in after his ox left. But he wasn't indulging to man in anything.

            It was probably a week later that it happened. Haru really wasn't sure what he'd done to cause it, either. He was just walking to the house to put his stuff down and change before he went to see Akito, and, as usual, Momiji was following him. It was as though the bunny's radar had been upgraded, or something. Because ever since whatever had happened between Haru and Akito (the ox still wasn't sure if it was a relationship or what.) his blonde cousin had been doing double time on the interrogating thing. The bunny was currently babbling... about... something. But some robes ruffling cut him off, Akito appearing, and then pulling the ox off. The blonde watched all of this wide-eyed. What was going on exactly? Had Haru done something bad... was he in trouble? No... Not... exactly... Once Akii had pulled his stunned cousin into his room he turned and pet the other's cheek. Looking unmistakably possessive.

            "Hi?" Haru greeted, once he'd gotten over the shock of being mysteriously abducted. "I was going to come see you in a few minutes."

            "All right..." Akii murmured. "That wasn't a problem... The rabbit was the problem..."

            "Momiji?" Haru raised an eyebrow. The head reverently reached up and brushed the hair that fell onto the others forehead. He wasn't explaining any further. He'd done what was necessary... He'd lost all his precious people by letting them see others. All except Kureno... but he wasn't aiming for another Kureno in this boy. This ox was his; there would be no sharing. Haru just sighed and gave in, allowing himself to be pulled where Akito wanted. One day wouldn't hurt anything. Though, he did wish Akito had given him time to change first. He didn't like this stupid school uniform. Akito agreed about the uniform... But he wasn't going to let Haru leave anytime soon to change either. So he sat in front of the other and carefully undid the top two, buttoned, buttons. Haru gave Akito an interested look, but he didn't put up any argument. He really didn't like that shirt it kind of itched. He didn't know how Yuki managed to wear it buttoned all the way to the top everyday. A small smirk pulled at Akii's lips when the shirt was to his satisfaction. Then he just smiled lightly up at Haru before beginning his usual conversation casually... Like... he hadn't just practically unbuttoned the other's shirt all the way... Haru went along with it with no trouble He honestly didn't mind the shirt thing too much. He DID (however) wish that he were sure exactly what had happened. He was grasping the kissing Akito thing without too much trouble; it was what went along with that he was having a difficult time with. Akii was quite unaware of this and he remained so... Until rather late. He really didn't plan on letting the ox leave today...  Haru was a little confused when Akito didn't tell him to leave for dinner, and when it was nearing ten that night, he softly put in a comment regarding neglected homework. His books were just on the other side of the room, but all his other things were back in his own. Akii looked him over coolly for a moment before crawling over to him. 

            "No leaving." he murmured quietly, before deciding the ox might need a little... incentive, and kissing him. Haru's eyebrows shot up for a moment before he melted into the kiss. Well, maybe a little longer wouldn't hurt...

            "Alright." He breathed finally, once the kiss was broken. The head pressed a little closer and ran his fingers through the other's hair with an appreciative look.

            "Thank you." He whispered, keeping that same look on his face.

            "Mm. Yeah. Not a problem." He waved it off. Their talking resumed... but eventually it really was really late. The ox probably thought he should go back to his room since he had school. But Akii had meant it when he said no leaving. So he used a much more heated kiss as a distraction to get him to agree to staying. Akito was persuading rather than ordering. Haru wasn't his slave, and there would be no ordering. Haru appreciated Akito's persuasive methods though, so he agreed. Not that he really thought he had much of a choice. This was getting a little complicated... And, well, he was getting tired and he DID have school the next day. Maybe he'd actually be able to sleep that night? That'd be helpful. So, he waited for Akito to show him where he wanted him to stay that night. Which really was a silly thing, since he just got cuddled into Akito's bed in the corner. Normally when he didn't want to be alone, he slept with Kureno. But Haru was much better and he didn't want the ox out of his grasp. Haru was starting to get a vague handle on just what was going on between himself and Akito. He wasn't sure how it would work out, but he was starting to grasp it. However, this knowledge didn't solve one other problem of his.

            By three in the morning, he still wasn't asleep, and he was about to start crying over it. Lots of very frustrated tears.

            "You look tired." Akito commented when he was awake again and looking over his sleep deprived companion. "You should stay here and rest today. I'll get Hatori to tell the school you're sick." That would be a perfect excuse to keep the ox here all day. Haru just let out a small groan of agreement, not moving from where his arm was covering his eyes. This was the fourth night that this had happened this week, and Haru honestly wasn't sure how much longer he could stay conscious. He was really tired. Maybe passing out would be for the best? It certainly would solve everything. Akii pet his head comfortingly before getting up and going in search of a clean robe so he could then go find Kureno and or Hatori. Whichever was closer or more convenient. While Akito was gone, Haru made a couple attempts to sit up, but that just wasn't going to happen. Maybe he could see what Hatori had for insomnia when he came to check on Akito later.

            Hatori had given Akito an odd look when the head showed up and asked him to call the school so early in the morning. But he wasn't going to ask. His mind supplied several dirty things that the two had not done. But he still wasn't going to ask. So Akii thanked him with a smirk and went back to his poor sleep deprived cousin. Maybe they'd have to think of something to tire the poor thing out... Oh, he was plenty tired. He just couldn't sleep. That was the problem. The older man knelt down by him and looked him over. It didn't show on his face, but he was concerned.

            "Should I have had Hatori come look at you?" He wondered quietly, mostly to himself.

            "Nnn... This isn't anything new." He managed to get out around a yawn. "I'm no--ot sure Tori-nii could help anyway."

            "Oh?" The head wondered as he watched the other's sleepy features.

            "Mmhmm..." Haru nodded absently, eyes a little glazed as they locked on the ceiling. "Off and on since I was little. Not sick, I don't think, just... can't sleep."

            "Hmmm..." Akii mumbled, moving and placing a possessive/comforting little kiss on the ox's forehead. It's a good thing he's at home with Akito then, isn't it? By noon, Haru was really wishing he would just pass out. It really was the best solution, since he couldn't see willful sleep anytime in the new future.

            Sleeping pills? Well, by the time Hatori eventually arrived, Haru had made up his mind to ask for some. Though he really did hope the dragon wouldn't push why he was half asleep in Akito's bed. The dragon didn't have any trouble handing over the pills. He had them in his bag in case Akito needed them when he came. But once he'd given enough to keep the ox asleep for a while he put them in his bag again and began checking Akito.

            "You can leave them here, Hatori." The head grumbled at him lowly.

            "We agreed after last time that no more strong drugs would be left---" He was referring to one of the heads many suicide attempts.

            Akito hissed. "I know what we 'agreed' but it won't happen and he needs them." Besides he's the family head, he could just order the doctor to. Ha'ri didn't reply until he was done checking Akii. Then he just got the bottle back out and set it on the floor. Then Akito dismissed him. Haru was very relieved once the sleeping pills took over. He actually enjoyed sleep. He wasn't sure why he had insomnia to begin with. That was just the way it was. But, by the fourth or fifth day in these little cycles, he was quite miserable thanks to it. Those days tended to be pretty bad, as far as Black Haru's little visits went.

            Akii returned to his usual routine since the boy was asleep. Which consisted of whatever family matters Kureno brought to him, and sitting around. He hissed at the rooster to be quiet as well, the poor man just glared at his usurper the entire time, and then Akito dismissed him to move onto his next activity of sitting around frail and weak, and actually, really, unable to do much more than that.  Haru slept a LONG time, thanks to those beautiful little pills. Like, for days on end. However, when he actually exited his coma-like state, Akito still wouldn't let him go to school. It was a little disheartening. Akito didn't want to share his pretty ox with the rest of the world. He didn't explain it in those words. Just looked pathetic and told him it would be so nice if he stayed... Besides, a little time off school wouldn't kill him. Haru just sighed and agreed. He really didn't want to get on Akito's bad side, somehow, and only hoped he'd manage to keep his Black side under control... for the rest of his life around his older cousin.

            Well... he could try... But even though Akito was happy, there really is only so much of that the ox can take. Sitting still all day hasn't ever been one of his better skills. Akii knew this by now, so he wasn't all that surprised when Black came out. He still wasn't letting him leave though. His insane little possessive streak wouldn't allow that.

            "I'm going to flunk out, you know." Black thought he was doing a fine job of keeping calm in Akito's presence. He was only mildly irritated at the moment. White just hadn't wanted to deal with it anymore. "They only allow you to ditch a certain amount before they just expel you."

            "That's not a problem. A little money slipped to those poorly paid teachers and the problems solved." Akii shrugged idly.

            "Yeah, well, even if I manage to some how avoid expulsion, how do you expect me to pass my year without going to class huh?"

Akito pouted slightly, he was being difficult. He should just enjoy his time off from school.

         & nbsp;   "It's only been a few weeks."

            "Whatever." he muttered tersely, standing up. "I've got a shit load of homework to find out about and catch up on. I'm sure he'll come see you tomorrow... Probably." He added, walking leisurely toward the door.

            "Don't leave." This was one of the few commands he'd issued the ox. He frowned as he did it too, he'd let Haru go back to school... eventually... He just had to secure the boy as completely his first, and make sure everyone else knew it too.

            He paused, before coldly spiting, "Is that an order?"

            The other's frown deepened a little. "Yes." He answered slowly. Black's hands fisted at his side as he turned an even icier look onto him.

            "Fine, you go ahead and try to turn me into another one of your brainwashed, curse bound, fear driven lackeys. It's not going to happen, but I can give you fucking hell trying, if you really want to."

            "That's not... it." Akito glared at him a little. He didn't know anything about it! Idiot…

            "Then DON'T try and hold me in a cage like you did with Yuki!"

            "You don't cage cows. You pen them." Akii spit in his own defense. "And that's still not it."

            "It was a metaphor." Haru snarled, quite put out with his utter inability to disobey Akito's direct orders.

            "It's a bad one." The head shrugged. "Since my intent isn't to cage you at all. I just don't particularly want to share you with the others."

            "I'm not your toy to 'share' or not."

            "Nnn, not a toy..." Akito agreed. "But you are mine."

            "Oh?" He raised an eyebrow at his older cousin. "No one told me. How do you figure?" He wasn't counting the curse as a form of possession.

            "Because... I'm me. You're you. And I say so?" The head offered idly. Haru's eyebrow rose further as he plopped down onto the floor again.

            "Can I have a hall pass, MASTER, to go shower and change?" He offered a withering look and a horrible amount of sarcasm. Akito didn't exactly want to make him completely unhappy... So he agreed to that, obviously on the condition that he came back. Black agreed, though his tone was disdainful. He'd get some crap to do when he made it to his room to change.

            When the ox returned, Akito came over in a rustle of robes with a small smirk and pet his, still wet, hair lovingly.

            "Better?" He wondered, since the boy was rather grouchy when he left.

            "Uh... yeah." Haru had gone white again midway through his shower, and had almost drowned in the process. But, he was fine now, and had figured he'd need to come back here. (A quick conversation with Black had confirmed this.) Akii hugged him loosely around the neck and got up on his toes to whisper in his ear.

            "I'm sorry," He murmured quietly. "I hadn't meant to... upset you."

            "Ah... no," He shook his head. White liked Akito fine, it was just Black who didn't. "He's just... like that." He must have done something to turn him black obviously... But Akito didn't care about that right now. Instead he increased his hug and placed some small, relieved, kisses on the other's neck.

            "All right..." Just as long as he had this half of the ox back.

            "It's usually best to try and ignore him, when he comes out..." Haru advised, gently moving to sit down without hurting Akito. "He can get a bit... difficult when you try and actually deal with him."

            "Hn, I noticed." Akito nodded. "But I think he just plain out doesn't like me as well."

            "Yeah, well," He frowned a little, trying to explain himself. "He's... relatively justified."

            The older man sighed quietly. "Yes, I suppose that's true." He didn't regret what he'd done, but he was still fond of the ox and had to wonder if there was a way to make it up to his more disagreeable half.

            "He didn't do anything... bad, did he?" Haru wanted to make sure.

            "No," Akito said as he dropped down behind the other and rested his chin lightly on his shoulder. "He did want to leave though." Haru didn't say anything. He kind of wanted to leave too, but he wasn't going to tell Akito that. Akii nuzzled against him with his cheek. "If you'd like to leave too?" he offered. "I've kept you in here far too long. It's rather rude... but I always worry someone else will steal you away and you won't come back..." Well! He's finally bothered to explain himself a little.

            "Steal me?" Haru echoed with an odd look. "I really don't think anyone's going to steal me."

            The head's face darkened a little. "There are plenty of more interesting people than myself who I'm sure you'd prefer spending time with." He wasn't being dramatic or anything he was stating a fact. Since he did spend most of his time just sitting around waiting until he was finally struck with death.

            "Interest is a two way thing."

            "Compared to most people... you are quite interesting." Akito offered

            "Eh," Haru shrugged. He knew more things about himself he'd change than he liked. "That's one way of putting it."

            "Mmm, I like you just fine." The darker man assured him, hugging him carefully. Akito actually liking someone was about as impressive as Black Haru actually liking someone.

            "Well, thank you." Haru laughed lightly. "I think." he added to himself under his breath. Akii smiled before turning his head and kissing him carefully. That should answer the 'I think' question, now shouldn't it? Haru just smiled at him once the kiss broke. Yeah, question answered. Akito had had quite enough of those careful kisses. He moved from behind Haru to in front of him and resumed his display of affection. Only it wasn't careful anymore, it was rather heated, and as it went on he slowly oozed into the ox's lap. Haru blinked a little, but he didn't fight it. He was curious to see what would happen next, even if it were fairly obvious. What would happen next? Well when they had to pull apart for air, Akii watched with lust glazed eyes as he put short, life sucking kisses on any bit of exposed flesh. He also pressed closely to the younger Sohma, and some pointed squirming occurred. But that was about all. He'd asked or forced all his other partners, he wanted to see if this one would offer. Haru blinked slowly, and waited him to do something.

            When nothing came, he asked, in a perplexed tone. "Why... are you stopping?"

            "I was uncertain if you wished me to continue." Akito smirked.

            "Not the kind of thing you turn down."'

The head smiled a little, that was close enough. So continue he did. Their lips met and he began the removal of the other's clothes.

            Haru sighed contentedly, as he rolled off of Akito and gently ran a finger down his chest.

            "Did you like that?" He asked breathily, though not so tiredly.

Being, not only, smaller but the weak thing he is as well, the older man's breathing was a bit labored. He did manage to smile for the other a bit and murmur out a relieved yes. He was satisfied now... The ox had been his before, but now he was the ox's too... He didn't feel like he had to worry about Haru being stolen away now.

            "I'm glad." Haru smiled a little more than he had been. "I lo--" He started to say something, but caught himself just in time. "Am really glad." That was such a lame ass cover up... Akii smirked at him, but didn't comment. Just drew the teenager close to him for a while. This was the best he'd felt in a while... Didn't feel like a damn corpse for once...

            "You're tired." Haru stated unnecessarily. "You sleep now, I'll still be here when you wake up."

            The older made an amused noise before speaking. "You may return to school if... you'd like. I've kept you in here too long already..." He murmured as his eyes slid closed and sleep did indeed beckon to him. Haru glanced up at the clock. School was half over now, anyway.

            "Tomorrow." He murmured finally. "I'll go tomorrow."

            After that things were good... It could probably be described as a relationship now. Except, no one really knew about its extent. Well, outside of Kureno. But he's a different matter. Akii wasn't so psycho possessive now, and Haru got let out of the room. Of course the ox would still come visit him, though. But, in general it was good. Except when Haru returned from school to find maids scurrying everywhere and Kureno watching nervously from Akito's doorway, looking where Hatori was with Akito. Haru frowned when he saw this. Nurses, so many of them, were usually a bad sign. So, he tossed his bag through his open door, not caring what broke inside, and moved over toward Kureno, not bothering with curious glances and just shoving his way unceremoniously past him and into the room. The poor little head lay on his futon whimpering when he wasn't making gasping noises. He was trying valiantly to breath. Hatori was pale, and obviously annoyed by the ineptitude of his nurses since he kept barking orders at them. He felt like he could smack someone... He could probably keep Akito from dying of oxygen deprivation if they would stop being so damn stupid and get him the equipment he needed.

            "T-Tori-nii..." Haru stammered, taking it all in. "What--?" Goddamnit! Why couldn't he put one fucking sentence together?

            The doctor glanced up, and then frowned at the ox. "I think that's fairly obvious." He growled before turning on one of the nurses. "Would one of you get the breathing mask already?!" He wasn't sure how many times he'd asked and they'd failed to bring it! Haru's frown deepened a little. He wanted to go over there and make Hatori explain exactly what was going on, but Hatori would probably kill him if he did. And, besides, he didn't want to get in the way. Not right now. Finally, after Ha'ri nearly snapping several times, they got Akii a means of breathing. He was passed out by then, but at least he wasn't going to suffocate. That's always nice. Anyways, the dragon didn't think he could leave the head by himself anytime soon so he found a spot over by the table and sat there. Thinking that maybe, the ox would just go back to his room and not bother him right now... Quite the contrary, Haru was sitting quietly by the door, waiting for information to be offered to him, or for proof that Akito was going to be okay once more. Tori could feel the gray-eyed boy's gaze on him, and he looked over there tiredly.

            "He's not going to die..." He muttered, then added under his breath: "Yet..." Haru just nodded, and got into a more comfortable position, murmuring a soft word of thanks. His new mission: to sit there and wait for Akito to wake up. That took... a while. And when the little man did wake up he was highly annoyed to be attached to that breathing machine.

            "I can breath on my own, Hatori!" He wasn't THAT weak.

            "Obviously not." The dragon waved it off as he checked the rest of Akito for problems. He got frowned at by Akito while he did that too. How irritating... Haru raised an eyebrow at the frown, and waited to see if Hatori intended to explain himself.

            "I told you yesterday to be careful..." Hatori murmured tiredly, ignoring Haru.

            "I don't know how much more careful I can possibly be." Akii spit back. "I can't DO much of anything to begin with." Well, the head most certainly had him there.

            The doctor just sighed. "You're all right now... just... keep Kureno or someone with you..."

            "I'll stay with him." Haru spoke up suddenly from where he was sitting.

            "Right, that's fine." Tori murmured, finishing his little check-up, warning Akito to just stay in bed, and then getting permission to leave. The head himself looked fairly disgusted. If there was one thing he was certain he could do on his own, it was breath. Haru watched Hatori leave, before getting up and moving over by Akito's bed.

            "You're feeling better now, right?" He wanted to make sure, as he sat down again.

            "Fine..." Akito really didn't have the energy to be a bitch right now.

            "Good." He breathed out in relief, and then smiled a little. "You scared me." Akii sighed before crawling over a bit and laying his head down in the other's lap.

            "I'm sorry," He murmured irritably. People are always worrying...  Haru just ran his fingers through Akito's hair a few times.

            "You're alright now, so it's fine."

            Well at least... he thought he was fine... The next day though, Hatori was back in Akito's room since the little thing was sick again. At least this time it wasn't anything scary like being unable to breath, but he was weak and unable to eat now due to some sort of stomach virus. Hatori had shooed Haru off to school that morning, but as soon as the ox was home, he was back in Akito's room, once again by the door, waiting for a time when he wouldn't be in Hatori's way, if he wished to get closer.

            "Drink this tea... don't eat anything, and sleep." Tori was listing off as he set the tea down next to the smaller man. "And Hatsuharu, come get me if he gets worse..."

            "Right." Haru agreed, all but crawling over. He didn't care if he caught it; he wanted to help take care of Akito.  The head was asleep most of the time anyways.

             After suffering through the wasting illness diet for about a week, he was feeling pretty damn shitty. Not having any food does that to you. But some more unpleasant symptoms developed. Akii's breathing troubles returned, he got a fever, and chills. That made Hatori a bit more nervous. When all this happened, Haru flat out refused to leave Akito long enough to go to school, and went some thing horribly close to Black every time Hatori tried to convince him to.

            The poor head was currently whimpering a bit in his fever and clinging tightly to his ox. Most of his upper body hurt horribly and not being able to breath properly bothered him. The doctor was there as much as the ox now. He was fairly certain what was wrong with Akito, too. He just... wasn't sure he wanted to mention it to Hatsuharu. Haru, while curious as to what Hatori wasn't telling him, was actually happy to just be there for his older cousin, and hold him back until he felt better. No matter how long it took.

            When Akito died, Hatori finally bothered to explain what had been going on. The poor thing got pneumonia. He was already weak from not eating, so he couldn't fight it off properly, and Hatori couldn't give him a stronger medicine because it would have been too harsh on him. There really wasn't much more the doctor could have done...  Haru just sat there, staring numbly at the floor. Akito had died in the middle of the night, and by the time Haru had woken up; he'd already been cold. The ox was having a bit of trouble processing it, though. It didn't hurt just yet, but he knew it would before too long. He should have known better than to get too attached. He'd known this would happen, he just hadn't thought it would happen so... quickly. Kureno and Hatori were watching him, both frowning. They were both aware by now of the little relationship those two had had. They had just figured Haru was the next Shigure. Someone Akito had fallen for, and the ox had taken advantage of that fact for sex. This didn't appear to be the case any longer though. Kureno wandered off eventually, he had a funeral to arrange, but the dragon continued to watch his younger cousin with concern. Maybe... he should not just let him sit there like that.

            Hatori got Haru to move, eventually, but then he just repeated the sitting silently process in his own room. His thought process wasn't working to well, and he only came out on the day of the funeral. Most of the family was already there, and no one was particularly sad. Well, except Tohru who had begged to come. She was sad, just like she had said she would be. But other than her, even Kureno's eyes were dry.  Haru wasn't really sure he could have cried, even if he'd wanted to, as he watched with a relatively detached fascination. It didn't feel... REAL. He felt as though he were watching some sort of movie, as though this wasn't him and Akito hadn't been his lover. As though he'd go home to find Akito in his room, like he always was: unhappy, and weak, but relatively unscathed. After the rather short funeral... There was one of those memorials that always seems more like a party than mourning and remembering a dead person. But, no one was mourning, no one really wished to remember him, and no one had anything particularly nice to say about him. So it really did end up more like a party. It made Hatori vaguely ill. He wasn't fond of Akito, but they could at least give half a crap he was dead. After shaking his head he decided to hunt down the one person who did care and see if he was okay. Haru hadn't been able to stomach all the cheer inside, and had retreated to the nearest porch, where he was sitting now, looking out with a vague, almost uncaring look to his eyes. It still hadn't fully hit him. He wasn't sure when it would. While, on a psychological level he was quite aware of what had happened... it still felt... surreal to him. He wasn't sure he liked this feeling any more than he would have liked a chest ripping pain.

            "Hatsuharu," Hatori called, ignoring the interested looks he got from Shigure and Ayame as he left, shutting the door behind him. "Are you all right?" He wondered quietly from behind him.

            "I'm not really sure." Haru admitted in an almost carefully empty tone.

            "Hmm?" The dragon murmured as he sat down next to him. Like all stupid doctors he believed it helped to talk it out.

            "I don't know if I'm okay." Haru repeated with an annoyed little look. He wanted to pout in peace, but he could see that wasn't going to happen. "I mean, shouldn't it hurt or... something?"

            "If you actually cared about him." Tori murmured dryly. Shigure's relationship with Akito had been similar, but the dog didn't actually care.

            "I did." Haru insisted with a small sigh. "I never told him how much, but I did. That's why it's so weird."

            "Why didn't you tell him?" Hatori asked, mildly interested now.

            "I started to..." He murmured. "A few times, actually. It just never happened..."

            "Well, not that you should look forward to it or anything... But it will probably hurt after a while..." There's that big empty space in your life once your special person is gone, after all.

            "Gee, thank you, Tori-nii." He sighed sarcastically. "Now I have mourning to await in addition to a feeling of immense guilt."

            "You don't need to feel guilty." Hatori suggested idly, ignoring the sarcasm.

            "Nnn... Actually, yeah, I do."

            "Nothing happened that you could control."

            "I didn't have to sleep through it." Haru pointed out, giving him an odd look.

            "You wanted to watch him die?" The doctor raised an eyebrow.

            "Well, no, but..." He frowned a little, and tried to explain himself. "I feel bad about not being there for him... er... mentally, anyway."

            "You don't need to." The dragon shook his head. "But, I suppose each person feels guilty about different things." He could list about 50 right here and now.

            "Mm..." He agreed with a small nod, as he heard someone laugh from inside. They were all so happy... It was nauseating. Hatori was probably going to say something comforting, but the opening of the door behind him distracted him.

             "Oh, there you are... Hatori..." The rat sighed. "Shigure and Nii-san are bothering everyone as to your whereabouts." The poor doctor sweat dropped. He got up, patting Haru's shoulder comfortingly and went to get his friends to stop bothering people, thanking Yuki as he went. The purple haired boy came and sat with the ox. He hadn't been enjoying the large amount of people, even if they were his family. Haru ignored him completely for a few minutes, before finally gave him a soft greeting. He was starting to get that sad feeling Hatori was talking about. Yuki nodded and returned the salutation with an odd look. Haru wasn't like him and usually enjoyed being around other people... He didn't understand why he was out here, so he asked about it.

            "It's sickening how happy everyone is." Yuki was never happy; Haru was counting on that apathetic attitude lasting through this.

            "Akito's dead..." The older boy shrugged. That didn't really say much of anything, but it was a perfectly safe answer.

            "Exactly!" Haru agreed. Yuki had just proved his point.

            Yuki looked at him oddly. "A lot of them... didn't really know Akito. They don't really have anything to be sad about." He, himself, wasn't happy. But that's because Akito would ALWAYS be like the monster under his bed. Always his nightmare.

            "He was still their cousin, they should at least be sad about that." Haru grumbled. He wasn't expecting Yuki to be sad; he was just hoping he wouldn't be breaking out the Champaign either.

            "I hadn't expected you to care much either." The rat blinked carefully. From what he knew, the ox and the head only saw each other at new years.

            "Yeah, well, it's what happens when you isolate yourself." He shrugged a little. "You miss things." Yuki frowned and was silent for a moment before changing the subject quietly.

            "You've missed a lot of school recently... Have you been all right?"

            "Uh...yeah. I just've had some more important elements of my life to take care of..."

            He got looked at oddly again. "You'll get in trouble for skipping..." He offered like the Student Body President he is.

             "It won't be happening much more." Haru assured him softly. "For lack of a better term, my reason just died out."

            Yuki looked at him rather unintelligently. "What?" he murmured quietly.

            Haru sighed deeply, trying to be patient, and repeated himself.

            The rat blinked as a suspicion clicked in his head. "Is that where you were?"

           "So what if it was?" Haru asked, a little defensively. "Got a problem with it?"

           "J-just… why?" The older boy sounded horrified that anyone would willfully spend time with Akito.

            "Why not?" he countered with. "Everyone deserves someone to actually care about them before they die."

        & nbsp;   "Because he's Akito." The horrible thing that raped and beat him for most of his childhood?

            "You're not the only one who can cry, you know." Haru pointed out with a small frown. "You're not the only one with feelings, not the only one who hurts, and you're not the only one who gets lonely." There was an oddly bitter edge to his tone as he said that. He was starting to understand just why he'd gone to Akito to begin with. Maybe it was more than just wanting Akito to not cry anymore...

            "I didn't say that." Yuki was beginning to wish he hadn't asked now.

           &nbs p;    "Whatever." Haru growled, not so happily, and stood up and started walking off. But about five paces away from the porch, he stopped dead and started shaking. Yeah... there was that hurt feeling coming in loud and clear. His cousin scrambled up and looked at him worriedly. True, he didn't like Akito. At all. But he did care vaguely about the ox.

          "Damnit!" Haru choked out around his tears, as he slowly, carefully, sunk down to the ground. "I... I liked not feeling anything better..." Yuki felt kind of like the ox's crying was partially his fault now... So he knelt down next to him and put a comforting arm on him. He didn't dare say anything else though; for fear that it would only cause more trouble. See, it's these kinds of insecurities that had him completely mute for years. Haru let out another unhappy sob and leaned miserably against Yuki's chest.

            "I d-don't like being in love, Yuki. It sucks and--and never turns out the way it's s-supposed to." The rat grimaced. Not only was he disgusted that someone loved Akito, that problem of Haru's was ALSO partially his fault...

            "I'm sorry, Haru..." He murmured as soothingly as he could to the other. Haru just yanked away from Yuki suddenly and stood up, wandering half aimlessly back toward the main house and his room. He was going to sit in there, alone until one of two things happened. A) He felt better, or B) he died.

He really didn't care which, at the moment.