Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Light in My Life ❯ Frustrations ( Chapter 21 )

I realized that rather than updating twice a day, I ought to just make the chapters longer. Feh.

21: Frustrations

"Honda Tohru."

Tohru let out a gasp and jumped at the strict, dark voice behind her. She held her jacket in front of her as she spun around, facing the sound's voice with wide eyes.

Shigure stood at the bottom of the stairs, his face shadowed. Tohru compulsively took a step back, but she wasn't quick enough. The dog took two strides towards her in a blur of a motion, and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"What are you doing?!" he demanded. Tohru felt tears build in her eyes as her heart beat quicker and quicker.

"I-... S-Shigure-san... it... me..." she stuttered, unable to find any words. Shigure suddenly eased his grip on her shoulders, taking a step back. He turned his head away, focusing on the wall.

"I don't what you're doing with Akito, but stay away from him. He's dangerous!" Shigure turned back to her, his face deadly serious, his eyes uncharacteristically dark and murky. "He will do bad things to you, Tohru-kun. I know you only want to help, but he is one person that no one can help. He will survive to hurt you, then he will die."

"But he won't!" she cried suddenly. Shigure turned to face him, his surprise painted in his face. "Akito-san is kind to me now! Not seeing him anymore will only hurt him worse." Tohru looked at the ground. She had talked back to the one who let her stay under his roof for the mere payment of cooking and cleaning. "I'm so sorry, Shigure-san... I didn't mean... it's just that..."

"It's alright, Tohru-kun," Shigure said with a sigh. He closed his eyes, putting one hand to his forehead. Tohru looked on worriedly, her eyes still brimming with tears. "Your hope for him will never die until he dies... or until you do." The dog turned to her, his face unreadable. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

Tohru nodded slowly. "He needs... he needs a friend," she said quietly. "I want to be his friend."

Shigure nodded slowly. He walked up to her, lifting one hand to brush a tear out of her eye. "We're here for you," he replied. Tohru smiled, and Shigure couldn't help but lift one lip in a lopsided grin in response.

"But please... don't tell Yuki yet. I couldn't bear to hurt him," she said, her smile fading. Shigure nodded his head.

"You will have to tell him eventually... Kyou too. They will be hurt," he replied. Tohru lowered her head, but a tap on her shoulder brought her face back up. "Just remember to come back to us," Shigure said.

Tohru smiled as he turned to go up the stairs. "Good night, Shigure-san," she called. He waved and disappeared up into the darkness.

***

The rest of the summer was very pleasant for me. Tohru came and visited me three times a week in the mornings, and always brought me breakfast. She was a bright star in a rather dark world, but her continuous shine began to brighten things around the Honke.

When she came during the week, she would sit with me for an hour or two just after ten o'clock while I ate, and always had something interesting to talk about. I had never realized before just how smart she really was; she may look dumb, but she had a lot of intelligent things to say about the world.

She often talked about her friends at school or funny events that had occurred at Shigure's house. It seemed to be a rather active place, and someone was always doing something silly or absurd. Tohru saw one or both of her friends almost every weekend, and told me a lot about them. I found it strange that a naive, innocent thing like her would have to bizarre--if she described them accurately--friends like those. One was a blonde yankee whom I learned was an ex-gang member. Her other friend, Hanajima, was a psychic and had a gift with detecting "denpa" waves. But both girls seemed to care a great deal about Tohru, and that's what friends were for, I supposed.

Often, though, she would be quiet. These were some of the strangest, yet most comforting moments of our time together. She would sometimes stand and open the doors to the porch and stand outside, marveling at the world around her. She told me that fall was coming, and she could tell by the changing of the leaves and the smell of the air.

Tohru was a person very aware of things happening around her. Though at times she was oblivious to the subtleties of other people, she was in tune with nature and the world that she existed in.

On weekends, Tohru would come earlier and we would spend a few hours together. We often went on walks, exploring parts of the main house that I had never laid eyes on before in my life. She would often jog ahead, enjoying the feel of the wind in her hair; her carefree demeanor, I envied.

I began to build up strength in my limbs, a strength that I had never had before. I spent so many years of my life lying in a room that I had no muscle at all, and it often caused me to be sick whether or not it had to do with the curse. Every day I got stronger, and every day it was easier for me to move and do the things I wanted to do. Tohru would smile and tell me that I wasn't just skin and bones anymore, and her ability to say such things without fear of retribution always made me laugh. She was the only one I would ever let get away with speaking in such a manner.

And I slowly came under her spell, hoping the summer would never end. But all good things come to a conclusion, and this was no exception.

I knew that summer vacation was going to give way to the next semester, and Tohru confirmed my suspicions. She promised she would visit every weekend, and that was enough for me. As much as I enjoyed her presence, I knew her secret of coming to see me would be discovered if she began neglecting her other duties. I didn't mind seeing her go that much; I knew I rarely showed genuine feeling, and it was an outer manifestation of my inner self.

I was not an emotional person. Anger was my only outlet for irregularity, and Tohru never seemed to ignite that sort of passion in me. Instead, I felt a steady rise of something unfamiliar in my gut, and it made me incredibly nervous. So, taking a break from her was just what I thought I needed to get myself in order.

But things went horribly, horribly wrong.

***

The first day back at school was no surprise. Hatori had instructed Momiji and Haru in keeping the secret of Tohru's regular visits, although he knew the rabbit would be bursting within a few days. But it was necessary for now, and Hatori could only wonder how long they would all need to keep silent. He only hoped Akito's fascination with Tohru would go away before he could really hurt the girl.

Akito sat in his room every day, not sure of where to go or what to do. He was so used to beginning his day with a full breakfast and a bright Tohru, that without them, he couldn't find the will to get past sulking beside his desk. At first, he told himself that he would just have to work his way around the bad habit of relying on her for his daily up-and-at-'em.

Hatori walked down the hallway, carrying a tray from the kitchen. The maids had told him that Akito wasn't opening his doors for meals, so he was just going to have to deliver it personally and see just what the problem was. Akito had been doing amazingly well after having survived a possibly fatal illness, even building strength in his limbs that he had never bothered to have before. But within five days of Tohru's return to school, he had begun deteriorating again.

Hatori tapped lightly on the door to Akito's room. "Akito-san?" he called. There was no response, and Hatori opened the fusuma to step inside.

Akito sat on the porch, staring absently at the trees. His feet dangled off and brushed the grass below, and he wore a very casual gray yukata even in the cool air. "What do you want?" he asked, his voice rather blank.

"I brought your lunch," Hatori replied.

Akito remained staring ahead. "Put it on the desk." Hatori obeyed and turned to the door, opening it to leave, when he paused.

"Akito, I don't mean to pry-"

"Then don't."

"-but does this have something to do with Tohru-kun?"

Akito didn't respond for some moments, before he rose to his feet. He turned around, walking back into the room and stepping right up to the alarmed Hatori's face.

"That's Tohru-SAN to you," he hissed. "And that is none of your business!"

Hatori's surprise faded as he faced a fuming Akito. The doctor knew his patient to have an extreme amount of anger, but it was almost always released in violent spasms. The rest of the time, he was rather tranquil and was absolutely full of fake smiles and treacherously calm voices. But this anger was a steady stream, a peaceful manifestation of rational frustration.

"I can have her come to see you if you'd like-" Hatori was cut off.

"I don't need to see her!" Akito shouted in his face, turning away in two strides. "I don't need anybody, not you, not her, not anybody!"

Hatori watched with a tilt in his eyebrows as the other man vented. "How do you feel about Tohru...-san?" the doctor asked.

Akito paused. It was a question he had been asking himself since he stopped eating, stopped moving, stopped trying to do anything. It had only been a few days, and he was absolutely losing his head over it. He knew he didn't have anything beside weak, friendly feelings toward the girl, but his own state was bothering him.

He hadn't wanted to do anything. It was just a sudden desire to move and keep himself alive... it was the same thing happening all over again. He cursed the Jyuunishi day in and day out for his "suffering," and had begun having dreams. He could never remember them upon awakening, but he always found himself drenched in a cold sweat.

And this mystery was driving him to insanity. He was losing his head over such trivial matters, and he could take no more of it.

"Tell her to come to me early tomorrow--Saturday," Akito instructed in a cold voice. Hatori nodded and turned, leaving the room as quickly as possible.