Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Light in My Life ❯ Pleas ( Chapter 24 )

Sorry about the lateness of this chapter. It's been a long day.

24: Pleas

The sun was already beginning to slide down the sky toward the distant mountains when three figures passed through. A light breeze rustle the pied leaves of fall, sending them tumbling to the welcoming ground below.

Tohru walked down the path towards Shigure's house. Haru walked beside her, one hand on her back behind her neck, patting her comfortingly. It was the most he could do beside hug her, which was out of the question. Momiji held her hand and watched her face intently as they walked, and he tried unsuccessfully for a third time to start a conversation.

Tohru kept her eyes on the ground, her face streaked red from tears. She barely lifted her head as Momiji tightly squeezed her hand. Haru, rarely one for concern, rubbed her back and could only sigh as they approached Shigure's house.

Kyou opened the front door, watching blankly as the three approached the porch. Taking Tohru's shoulder, Kyou silently pushed Haru off and Momiji stepped back as the cat walked her into the house, closing the door without a word to them. Haru glanced at Momiji, and the rabbit only shook his head and turned around, taking off his hat as he walked away.

Tohru stood in the middle of the entryway, her eyes quivering with tears as Kyou crossed his arms, staring at her. His face was blank and cold, and Tohru unconsciously wrapped her arms around herself. "He's not angry," Kyou said suddenly, his eyes never leaving her face. Tohru immediately raised her head and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Really?" she asked hopefully, her voice choked. Kyou continued to watch her without responding, when they heard footsteps in the hallway.

Shigure walked toward where the girl stood, his eyes looking over her with concern. "Tohru-kun?" he asked, leaning down to take a closer look at her face. Tohru inhaled, looking back at him with shining, moistened eyes. Shigure lightly patted her shoulder, trying his best to crack a comforting smile. "Go see Yuki. He's in his room."

Kyou opened his mouth to object, but a swift look from the dog silenced him as Tohru nodded and turned away, walking up the stairs.

Tohru stopped at the door just before she reached up to knock. What could she possibly say to atone for her actions? It wasn't a matter of regretting them; anything that hurt Yuki--or anyone she cared about, for that matter--was worth regretting. She knew it would all boil down to what she really felt and she wasn't prepared to answer that question.

Tohru curled her knuckle to lightly tap the door, but a "Come in," from inside stopped her. She gulped, closing her eyes as she turned the knob and pushed to reveal Yuki's dark room. No lights were on, but sun streamed in through and open window and cast a white glow on Yuki's pale purple-gray hair. His eyes were flat and forlorn, and he merely stared blankly as Tohru entered and closed the door behind her.

"I... I don't know what to-"

"Don't say anything." Yuki's voice tore the thick air like paper. Tohru nodded in compliance, closing her mouth. He stood up, wiping his hair from his face. "Tohru-kun, I care about you so much that it hurts," he said, keeping his eyes on her. "It was just a shock for me. Akito... he is dangerous. Because of him, I have sealed off my heart to the world for what will still be a very long time, and there is just no room for anything beside my memories." Yuki turned around to face the window, and Tohru watched as the sunlight illuminated only a few renegade locks of his hair. "I care about you, and that means I can't stop you from doing what makes you happy."

There was silence for some moments as Yuki walked across the room, pressing his fingers to the frame of the window as he sighed heavily. He pushed it open, letting in a light, fresh breeze.

Yuki shifted his feet so he was looking at her. "If anyone can help Akito, it is you."

***

"Can you break the curse? Can you?!" And there was blood. Lots of blood. Hatori's blood.

But she couldn't break the curse, and so she wasn't any use. A useless girl was no good for my dragon. He would understand.

And then I found myself on the porch. I asked the one who visited me why she had come; I knew she had rescued the cat from his cursed form, and I knew why she came, but I wanted to hear it from her mouth. And the blasphemy of it all was her reply: "I don't know."

She can't break the curse! This girl wants to stay in the family, an outsider, knowing our secret! This is unacceptable, it cannot continue! "Hatori, erase this girl's memory!" He ignored me. Damn that dragon... I had protected him. I had rescued him, and now he was defying me. They were all defying me.

And it was her fault. It made me angry; my vision was a blur of red, and all I could feel was her hair in my hands as I pulled it taut from her skull. She was going to pay for her sins once and for all, and then that would be the end of it. No more defiance, no more Tohru-this and Tohru-that.

"It must be sad," she said, "having death all around you all your life."

How would she know? She was some stupid girl who had shown up at Shigure's door one day when he had been feeling especially kind and especially influenced by my rat. She didn't know anything about me, about the curse, or about the family. She had no place here.

"I was born to die," I growled. "It wasn't my choice." And that it wasn't. Could anyone decide their fate? I knew my fate, and I only rose to meet it. I protected the Jyuunishi, and how ungrateful they were for my sacrifice! My life for their happiness and their survival.

Yuki and Shigure had looked so surprised at that revelation. What, did they think I enjoyed wasting my life on them?

"I don't regret meeting Akito-san. I want to know more about his feelings." I wanted to laugh. No one cared about what I felt, even the family that I carried a curse for. Why would an outsider care? I had done nothing but cause pain to this girl, and here she was, acting like she was my friend as I held her hostage by her hair.

"I don't mind if Akito-san is angry." Of course she minded. Everyone minded. This girl was absolutely full of blasphemy... but she wasn't. She cried tears not for herself in her own pain, but truly for the sacrifice I made for them: those animals. It hurt me too much to be shown anything but hatred and pain.

Because I was born to die, and I lived to slowly pass away. Would they really miss me if I died? Would anyone truly be sad?

This girl, no matter what pain she was in, would only know her own agony for the pain others felt. I only cared for my own pain, and I cared not for the pain inflicted on others; why should I? They inflicted pain on me! It was only right, of course.

And the pain of my own selfishness made me back away. This girl was dangerous to me, and I wanted no more to do with her.

But now I wanted her. I knew I was selfish, taking her so painfully from those she so obviously loved. I had to have her; I needed her.

When my mother died, the part of me that even heeded the pain, desire, sadness or any other emotion of other people was crushed into an endless, dark abyss of self-righteousness and harsh reality. But she drew that part out of me, made me want to care for her and adhere to her desires; to comfort her in sadness; and take away her pains.

And as I felt my mind slowly drifting away from me, I didn't mind it anymore. All I really needed was her, and then I could realize my empathy for her.

In all its forms, it was a hallucination when I felt familiar arms take me in. It was just my imagination when I sensed soft hands link around my waist. I had to have been dreaming when I heard comforting words in my ear, and it was no more than an ethereal vision when I felt light lips on my face.

"It's all very fine, Tohru," I said to the product of my imagination. "You can let me go now, Tohru." I really wanted to go... I was holding myself where I didn't belong.

"My mother told me to always follow my heart," a familiar voice said to me as I swam in endless darkness. I smiled. It was something she would say. "My heart made a decision of its own, and I can't let you go now."