Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Love lies in the darkest places ❯ Love Me Hate Me ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter One

Yuki, your name is such a lovely, captivating name. It suits you, suits your almost female beauty. Your shinning eyes, soft hair, desired body and yet Yuki…

I hate you.

Such simple words, yet that's the best way to describe how I feel. This loathing that runs though my veins, filling me molten anger. Every time I see you, I feel my hands shake, my fist, wanting to fly though that air that separates us, to smash your face Yuki. To smash, to break though high cheekbones, to wreck your beauty, so no one would look at you again. My palms can almost feel the soft skin of your neck, as they slowly suffocate you and my fingers tighten. I can almost see the look on your face, as I defeat you, as I slowly take your life with my own two hands, as you slowly bleed, and slowly die.

Yet you just smile at me, in that little way. That way you think is closed up of showing all your real emotion. But you don't know Yuki, you have no idea I dream of killing you…

As you stroll up to me, you smile. I hate that. How dare you smile at me? Don't you know I hate you! I want you to know Yuki. I want you to feel how I do, how this hate, can drive you crazy. But you don't even notice me, or my hate, you're too happy, and it sickens me. I know why, why you, would be so happy.

It's because of her. Torhu.

You're smiling, because you love her. It makes my heart clench, it's slowly killing me inside. You don't even notice me, yet, you notice her. You love her. It makes you happy, and it makes me sick.

Makes me cry.

Because while I hate you, I think I may love as well. Your mine Yuki, not hers, your mine, and you need to know that. You shouldn't love her! But you don't even notice me…you make me hate you. You made me…hate you Yuki…

While I just stand here, hating you, wishing I could kill you. I think could kill you right now, yet you're laughing, smiling, looking at her with those shinning eyes.

I think I may start to hate her too.

But I'll always hate you more Yuki, because you've never even looked close enough, to see how much I really despise you. And you never will….

Shigure stares at me, smiling in that silly way of his. He has glasses on, and I don't believe he is reading for a moment. He is sitting at his house, at the table, drinking tea, of all things.

"So, hows high school?" he ask. I wonder what he would say, if I told him the truth, that id rather cut off all my limbs, before I had to go back there. That while I'm there, I dream of killing his, my, relation. That in the back of my maths books, the drawn pictures of Yuki, and mutated them all. I have to answer him though, so I just nod and say fine. He accepts that, of course, I've never really talked to him before, never had a heart to heart. He wouldn't understand me; I resist the urge to smirk. Then again, no one would.

Torhu isn't here and I wonder where she is, the shining joy of the Soma household. Even Akito, in the end, broke down to her. You know she's allowed in the house now? She is now, allowed at Christmas.

When then shunned their own, they accept her. While the cat, sits outside, she is inside. Yet can I really blame her, for there fucked minds?

How I loathe them all.

That's when he enters. Yuki. I feel my hand twitch like normal, yet, my heart swells, my body begins to burn with something other then hate. I want you Yuki. And I hate it. Like my anger, its your fault. If you weren't so damn beautiful, I could just kill you.

Yet now, I lust after you.

IM just like the others, that follow you around, the pathetic people, that scream and chase you around. Hoping to see your eyes, stare at them, filled with love.

But you only love her.

Damn Rat.

Shigure sees Yuki and smiles, opening his arms in a hello.

"Ahh Yuki!, look who it is!" he smiles at me, and I just know he will do something stupid. "He's come back, again"

Like it was that long since I was gone, from this place. No matter what I think, my body has to be around Yuki, or I'll go crazy.

Yuki nods his head at me, before he asks Shigure where Torhu is. So Yuki, I'm not even worthy of a hello anymore? Running off to her again Yuki? Running off, to your love.

Doesn't it feel good; to know that she loves you back?

Isn't it just wonderful?

I wish I had that Yuki. But you stole that. You stole the only person that could ever love me. And now, you made me love you.

I fucking hate you.

I cant believe I live here. Yuki, and me, in the same house. I often wonder what I must have been thinking, when I asked Shigure if I could stay. Was I crazy? Yuki and me? I hate him. I want to kill him!

Yet last night, I dreamt of you Yuki. Dream of me and you, and it was so clear. Do you want to know, what sweet dreams flittered though my head? I can tell you…

You came into my room, Yuki, and stared at me, the moon was shining in your hair, turning it from its, purplish colour, to pure silver. Your eyes seemed to glow, and you looked at me. Not with love Yuki, oh no, never with love, not even in my dreams. Yet you wanted me Yuki, like I want you.

You undressed, for me, I can remember your body, pale, and apart from what anyone says, you are all male. I stared at you, and I knew that, you would look, so much better, with blood running down your body. You knew it to. I cut you, and you cried, I fucked you, and you screamed.

Doesn't it hurt?

Doesn't it hurt when you bleed?

All over my white sheets, all over my bed Yuki you stained them, like you stained me.

Asshole.

When I woke up, I had to change my sheets. Lust had taken over my body again. Another example of what you do to me. I'm so weak around you, so fucking weak. God Dammit Yuki, I want you to leave me alone.

Yet I'm the one who moved in. You didn't want me to of course, but I'm here. Like a moth to a fucking fire, I want to be burned by you. Every time I look at you, I am fucking burning.

So now I lay here. And I stare down at myself. I wonder if anyone would notice if I threw myself off the roof, Heh I bet not. After all, you've ignored me all this time, what would the end of my life do to change that.

Torhu came up to me yesterday, as I was sitting there, drinking Shigures tea. I'm starting to like the stuff. The world gets more screwed up each day doesn't it?

I didn't glare at her, but I ignored her. She didn't seem to care since she came up to me anyway.

"I haven't seen you since you came back" She was smiling at me, in that, oh so friendly way. She has on pink, and I think it suits her, in an odd way.

"I know" I don't know what else to say to her. What do you say to the women, that the person, that the person you love, yet want to kill, is in love with? Should I hate Torhu? She has my Yuki after all.

"Oh so.. Are you okay and all?" If she starts rambling I might kill her. She is still scared of me, or wary, good, maybe she's smarter then I always thought. It pays to be wary around me after all.

She tries to talk to me again, but after a while she must get the message, because she tells me she has to go, and walks off.

Most likely gone to fuck Yuki in his secret base of him.

I snort at my own joke, before I can become calm again. It doesn't help, to be seen laughing at nothing.

Though none of the losers here are funny anyway.

There is a loud bang, as the door slams. I can just picture Shigures face, at the thought of the distraction of his house. Oh no. It's her.

It's the Boar. I don't even want to use her name..

I quickly place my tea down, and walk out of the room, to the back, before I, walk out of the house and into the bush. I don't feel like getting a headache today. On my way I glance at the roof wondering. But nah, some people, will just have to find love their own way.

Without me there, to help, or screw it up even more.

Life's a fucking bitch isn't it?

Okay there is more comming. Love it? Hate it? well tell me!!!!!

Btw....who do you think it is????