Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Punishment ❯ Bless of an Angel ( Chapter 6 )

Punishment
Chapter 6: Bless of an Angel

       Dear Hana-chan,

         &nb sp;    I want to begin by saying, "I'm sorry." I kept a secret from you and Uo-chan, something I shouldn't have done. I know you both worry about me very much, and I don't want to be the cause of your distress. I wanted to tell you earlier, but I was afraid that you'd think lesser of me for my choices. It was silly of me.

           &n bsp;  Grandfather's house is being renovated, and is much too small to hold another person in any case. I didn't want to burden you, knowing that you have such a large family to care for. Since Mother was so close to Sohma Shigure-san before she...passed away, I have become close to some members of the Sohma family - particularly Shigure, Yuki, and Kyou, who I am currently living with. I couldn't bear to tell you that I was living with three boys in the forest, what would you both think of me? But now I realize, I was being a little silly thinking about such a frivolous thing.

            ;   There is something much more serious which kept me from telling you too. It's the head of the family, Akito-san. I've only met him once; at first glance I was reminded me of Yuki-kun. But I knew that he didn't have the same personality at all, in fact, I think Yuki's scared of him. I think that he doesn't like me very much, he seems to see me as a threat for some reason. I am supposed to stay away from them, I feel like I am such a burden to their family! Shigure is keeping me at the house in secret from the clan head for now. I worry about putting the others at risk - if I stay, am I making Yuki-kun or Kyou-kun lie about not seeing me? I'm not sure why I'm so hated, but Shigure assures me everything will be okay. I think I may remind him a little of Mom, so I want to stay to keep him happy. Plus, both Kyou-kun and Yuki-kun are very nice too, and I want to learn more and more about them. I've only been keeping this a secret in order to protect them, but I asked Shigure and he said I could tell my closest friends.

          &nb sp;   I'm sorry for burdening you with all of this, but my head is spinning with all of the things that have been going on lately. I'm concentrating on living my life one day at a time. I will work on not hiding from my problems so much.

               And, "thank you," is another thing I want to say. Thank you for everything that you've done for me. Remember, you can talk to me about what's going on in your life too, right?

       Ah, my break is over, I've got to get back to work!

       With love,
            ;   Honda Tohru

       The pieces fell in place, and Saki finally understood what was going on in Tohru's life. From then on, with one less secret being withheld between the trio, they could only grow closer. As the school year drew to a close, Arisa and Saki had befriended Yuki and Kyou...sort of. It wasn't exactly the closest of friendships, but the mutual link of Tohru held them together.

       Yes, they were now friends.

       * * * * *

You've been looking for God. You've been down on your knees.

Will the angel believe in hell?

       * * * * *

       It was the final week of school, and the quintet was heading on their way homes from school. Saki pushed open the main doors and was followed by Tohru and Arisa, who were chattering about nothing in particular. Behind them, Yuki was bantering idly with Kyou, who was starting to get worked up.

       Saki wasn't really engaging in the conversations around her. Instead, her mind was focused on something else. She could feel something in the air, something she vaguely recognized. She honed in on the waves, but she couldn't place who it was she was sensing.

       She stopped walking when she suddenly realized who it was. She squinted a little at a figure that was coming toward their group steadfastly. It was him, she was almost certain.

       Tohru walked into her back, and Yuki nearly collided into Tohru from behind. She peered around Saki's shoulders to see who it was. "Hatsuharu-san?" Saki was surprised that she knew him too. That's right, he's a Sohma. I should have known. Hatsuharu, Kyou and Yuki all must be related. How obvious, considering their unique wavelengths. "Shouldn't you be at school right now? I didn't think that the middle school gets out this early," she continued, moving forward a little.

       Haru didn't acknowledge her. Instead, he walked right past Tohru toward Kyou, his stormy hair swaying in the wind. "I thought I'd find you here."

       "I'm more surprised that he found Kaibara without Momiji's help," Kyou muttered to no one in particular. His comment remained unheard to the person it was about.

       "I came to challenge you," he said simply as he pulled off his long white coat, mindlessly throwing it to the ground in a heap.

       "Haru, I'm not going to fight you again. We fought at New Years, or don't you remember? You were passed out so long afterwards after I kicked your ass!"

       Haru ignored that comment, still wanting to fight. A twisted grin formed on his face. "What is it, Kyou, did you become a little kitten after being away from the main house so long? Fight me, right now."

       Kitten? Arisa gave Saki a strange look. Tohru flinched at the word and looked at the ground. "Kyou-kun, please don't fight today! You'll get caught for certain!" They were on school property, not even too far from the main doors, so surely a teacher would discover them at some point.

       Kyou's eyes darted between Tohru and Haru, seemingly torn between both requests. He always loved a good fight, and he was still mad from arguing with Yuki. It would be a good way to release his anger.

       Arisa egged him on despite Tohru's pleas."Don't be a 'kitten,' Kyou, just fight him and get it over with! Show that guy who's boss if you've beaten him before!"

       "Stay out of this, woman," Kyou said in his most intimidating voice.

       Of course, Arisa didn't see Kyou as an intimidating person in the least so she laughed and continued to bother him anyway. "Can't you just picture it? Our little ickle Kyon-Kyon, wearing fuzzy orange cat ears with an oversized jingling cat-bell around his neck!"

       "That would be a sight to see," Saki had to agree. Neither of them knew how close Kyou could come to their "kitty" image.

       "Can't you just picture Arisa with a broken nose?" he countered automatically, turning to raise a fist in her direction.

       "No. No, I can't." Saki eyed him with a dark expression, and he backed up a few steps. "I would have to do... something." If it was to protect Tohru or Arisa, maybe using the waves would be okay. As long as it wouldn't cause anything too serious. His dropped his so-called menacing fist down to his side. Light static seemed to flicker in his ears so he rubbed them and his hearing returned to normal. He turned around to face his challenger.

       "I'm not scared of you, Haru!" he yelled feverishly, stepping into a fighting stance. He threw his first punch which Haru blocked. It became the first in a long string of moves that the two exchanged. It was considerably less graceful than a ballet performance.

       "I'm sorry, Honda-san, I've got a student council meeting to get to before I'm late." Yuki said regretfully.

       "Ah, okay, Yuki-kun!" she gave him a dashing smile and a small wave. "I'll see you later." She glanced at Arisa and Saki who were both busy watching the all-out fight taking place in front of them. Uotani cheered Kyou on, raising a fist in the air with glee or adding comments like "what kind of sissy hit was that?", while Saki merely watched silently.

       "Listen to me carefully, Honda-san," a worried expression formed on Yuki's features, "please don't try to break up their fight, whatever you do." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "You know what happened to you last time. They're a couple of brawling idiots, alright? You might get hurt again."

       "I don't think that they are idiots..." Tohru started to say but trailed off as she watched the two swing their limbs at one another, each time coming closer to injuring the other. Whenever they made contact, she would flinch as if she was feeling it herself.

       "Be careful, alright?" he emphasized and was bombarded with bright 'don't worry about me' phrases from Tohru. He wasn't exactly convinced, but he had to go. The battle continued as he walked back into the school.

       In the midst of their fight, Haru suddenly backed off. He walked away from Kyou, and looked around blankly at the faces of the few spectators who had gathered around to watch. "Where'd Yuki scurry off to?"

       "Damn it, Haru, you really are an idiot! Do you want to fight or not?" Kyou yelled to the back of Haru's head.

       "There may be nothing like the thrill of a battle, but there's something else I want." He scanned the faces again, still searching for the boy with lavender hair. His dark grey eyes lingered on Tohru's. No, she won't do. She didn't have that poise and equanimity that Yuki reacted with. Finally, his eyes settled on Saki, who still stood watching the fight with an impassive look upon her face. Perfect.

       "Saki-chan," he nearly purred, the term of endearment adorning her name sounding especially strange to her ears. "Remember me? The stranger you'd never see again?" he asked as he sauntered over to her.

       "Yes," she said slowly, not enjoying the feeling of him advancing so close. But I don't remember these eyes....they're so dark. They had seemed like a light cloudy grey before. He angled his head slightly to the right as he let one hand settle on her left shoulder, the other falling to her waist. She showed no reaction, only looking at the changes in his pair of eyes that startled her insides. She wanted to step back, but her feet did not obey.

       "Idiot!" she could hear Kyou hiss in a low tone. "Don't get so close. You're such a fool." And even more quietly, he muttered a harsher insult, "Dumb cow." Simultaneously, she could hear a worried gasp from Tohru, and a questioning, "What the hell?!" from Arisa. A random bystander hollered something incomprehensible.

       One moment Haru was standing in front of her with that questionable look in his eyes, and the next moment, he had grazed her lips gently with his. As quickly as he had come, he was gone. Kyou had pulled him back by his arm, and they were back to their clashing challenge.

       Wordlessly, Saki watched the fight proceed, but it didn't really register into her mind. Who won, she did not know. Arisa and Tohru surrounded her, and asked her how she was. She was perfectly fine on the outside, but inside she was a mess. A part of her hated herself from not defending herself with her electric waves, but another part almost...welcomed it.

       * * * * *

Wanting more than the bless of a beautiful kiss from the one who fell.

Now it's so hard to tell.

Like an opium dream, through your psyche extremes,

It relieves and believes the pain that your body made.

I know, please don't wave goodbye.

       * * * * *

       The math teacher stood at the front of the class, a short piece of paper in his hand. It was nearing the end of the second last day of the school year, and he took the time to dictate the homework, which was answered with a buzz of complaints throughout the class. "There is only one day left, yet we have work to do?" they protested. He ignored that, and continued to list off some students who had to stay after class for a few minutes. Saki didn't pay much attention until her own name was called amongst three others.

       She remained sitting in her seat as the rest of the class filed out of the room at the bell. Tohru gave a little good luck smile, and called to her that she would wait for her outside with Arisa.

       A tall, dark-haired boy who sat about two rows away from her was the first to talk to the teacher. Disappointment crossed his features at the teacher's quiet words, but he nodded. He walked back to his seat, sighing loudly as he went.

       "You're feeling discontent with yourself?" she asked him, the first thing she had ever said to this person.

       "What? Oh yeah, just some bad news," he shrugged, shoving his books into his backpack.

       "You're failing the course, aren't you?" she guessed. It was the only thing she could think of that would make his waves feel like they were.

       "I guess," he answered vaguely. "Wait, you're waiting to have to talk to him.... Does that mean you're failing too? But you're a...psychic, aren't you? Can't you just, you know....sense the right answers?"

       She shook her head. Psychic, her? Though, that would really make sense. She could hear things sometimes, but she had never really thought about it that way. It was more of the feelings that she could sense, something that gave her the gist of what a person wanted or was suffering from. Those extreme feelings were the ones she could sense, not something as trivial as answers to a few math problems. "No, I can't. Sorry to disappoint. Maybe I'm not as much of a monstrosity as you all think I am." She piled up her books as the teacher called her to his desk, her blank expression resettling on her face.

       "That's not what I meant!" he protested. "I just thought it would be a little, you know... neat." As Saki walked up to the teacher, a small smile had appeared on her face. She did not reply.

       She had guessed that it would happen, failing the course. Although she did understand the work, she did not enjoy the stress of having to complete all of the homework. She did have a plan, one that she had used throughout her entire school life. It wasn't anything complicated; she would simply maintain a high-fail average, try half-heartedly on the exam, fail the exam, and then have the chance to take the retest on, which she would pass with flying colours. The plan worked well every year without a hitch. She knew she had failed the exam the previous week, so she expected to be told about a retake exam by the teacher in this very conversation.

       Well, there was definitely a hitch for her this year. The teacher had a disappointed frown on his face as he explained that she would be held back a year in the math course. She didn't react to his words at first, not expecting them to be so...final. "When will the retake exam take place?" she asked confidently."Retakes? There are no retake exams for this course." His words hit her hard as she realized what that meant. She really had failed, there was no doubt about that. Her foolproof plan had failed, proving she was a fool herself. It truly was something. Retake exams were always easier, so why not take that path? It was the right one to take, she had assured herself so long ago. But now, here she was, standing and failing herself. How could that have been the right action to take if this was where she had ended up?

       "No retake exam?" She had to confirm what she was hearing. It couldn't be true.

       "Not for this level course. The academic stream does not have retests to be sure that students are keeping up on their work habits and studying. Because in the real world, you do not have second chances, so the members of the faculty are working on preparing you for your future." He nodded with an apologetic smile on his face. "Retests are only available for students who were in emergency situations that made them unable to be at school on the day of the exam."

       "I see," Saki said dejectedly. "There is nothing that can be done then, Sensei?"

       "Sorry," he told her. "I'll probably be seeing you again next year."

       * * * * *

You'll be sleeping tonight, safe in the arms of Morpheus.

You've escaped through these means, these delirious dreams.

It helps to shelter and soothe your soul.

The salvation they sold satisfied your desire to burn.

And now you've learned.

       * * * * *

       Saki's head pounded with each step she took up the stairs in her house. The steps seemed to be taking away the remnants of her already-drained energy. What a day it has been. All she wanted to do was collapse in her bed and forget about the day's events. After her talk with the teacher, she had immediately told Tohru and Arisa that she had failed the course. She regretted telling Tohru. Surely, Tohru was going through more turmoil herself, even if she tried to convince everyone to believe the opposite. It was too late though, the words had already left her mouth. They both assured her it would work out alright. Saki told them she thought so too halfheartedly. And what had happened during Hatsuharu and Kyou's fight? It was such a strange development which Arisa had teased her about to no end on the walk home.

       What idiosyncratic behaviour she saw from Hatsuharu. Of course, what did she really know about him? He was a stranger, he had said so himself. But still, it was almost as if a mask covered his face. A thick masks would render vision difficult. The little that could be seen would be so narrow and concentrated that it'd be like that's all that exists. She felt even more puzzled the longer she thought about it, tracing her bottom lip with her finger as she remembered his closeness. It was a waste of time to think; it was over and done.

       She sighed and headed to her bed, still fully clothed in her school uniform. She had barely hit the pillow when sleep overtook her. She hoped that in slumber her mind would be able to rest once more.

       But it seemed that the longer she slept, the more jumbled her mind became....

       It was the largest mountain she had ever seen in her life, glorious and sublime. It was surrounded by sinking sand and dangerous, jagged rocks hindering any person from voyaging to its foot. But still, its visitors plowed on, determined to reach the top of its mountainous heights. A prize unlike no other waited there; something beyond imagination. What would be found there, no one was sure. It was a feat for someone to be able to climb this seemingly unscalable mountain; its cliffs were set at such horrendous angles that they were nearly perpendicular to the ground.

       The sand pulled in many of the weak hearted people who attempted to cross its depths. They were stopped from even making it to the lowest part of the mountain. It was a pity. Saki watched as dark shadows sunk into the sand, followed by silvery spectres floating up into the atmosphere. Looking up, she watched as they floated skywards, past the summit of the mountain and into nothingness. Even in death, they wouldn't receive 'the prize.' Everyone wanted 'the prize,' it seemed. Who would grasp 'it' in the end?

       She wouldn't be like those shadows, succumbing to dissolution. She cleared her mind, thinking of nothing but happy times she had shared with loved ones. Her feet barely touched the granules of sand beneath her toes; she had walked over the sand, and had passed the first test. Walking about ten minutes north would land her at the base of the mountain.

       After passing the sinking sand, there was a short stretch of jagged rocks sticking out of the ground in every direction. Sand and dust had settled in the crevices. She stumbled over the rough terrain. She took a spill as one of her shoes loosened on her foot. She retrieved her shoe, but found she was no longer alone.

       Ahead of her, several feet away, stood a woman. She stood tall and proud, long blonde hair swirling around her. She had a white piece of fabric, a mask, tied around her face, concealing her facial expressions. 'Arisa, is that you?' She seemed distant. All Saki could see were her eyes, which were not looking straight ahead. They were averted slightly away from her, staring out of the corner of her. She held out one hand in front of her, all five fingers spread apart in a 'stop' gesture.

       "No, this is not the way to go," she warned Saki in her deep yet feminine voice. That same hand left its previous position. Now she held it as far away from herself as she could towards the east, pointing the same direction she was staring at. "The direction from which the sun rises is definitely the right way to go." Her eyes twinkled slightly as her eyes turned back to watch Saki's decision.

       From behind the blonde, an older woman appeared as if by some magical means. She stepped a few steps back from Arisa and twirled around on the spot. This movement displayed the fleeting image of a stylized red butterfly on the woman's riding jacket. "Don't listen to her. She's confused, you know. The east is just the beginning of the journey. You should head west, the sun's final destination." The woman's face was recognizable right away, although it bore more signs of age than Saki remembered. 'The Legendary Kyoko? Alive?' With flare, the red-haired mother extended her arms and motioned towards the west.

       Saki scanned the two women she greatly respected who stood before her. They said nothing, merely pointing in their respective directions. She shook her head, genuinely confused about the path she should take. She craned her neck towards the sky, looking at her goal. For many long moments, she stood and did nothing. Finally, she tore away from them in a run, ignoring their pleading looks; they did not move from their positions to stop her. 'I want to follow my own path, but thank you nonetheless.' She ran between the two, and managed to arrive at the mountain's base. It was strange, both of them seemed older, yet Saki still felt like such a child.

       Small pieces of earth, footholds, had been gouged out of the side of the cliffs by previous people who attempted to climb to the top of this masterpiece of a mountain. There were no safety lines to secure her. This was for real. Using the holes strategically, she placed her feet into certain holes, pulling herself to higher footholds with her hands. Dirt crumbled beneath her fingers, but still she climbed, ignoring the danger. How was it that she was able to climb like that? She had never gone climbing before. She continued on, watching in horror as another silver spectre floated on towards the heavens. 'I have to concentrate. Just ignore it.' She hiked up her insensible skirt, the black ribbons tied around her wrists fluttering in the wind.

       She looked up at the white layer of clouds; only tiny expanses of light blue sky interrupted their continuity. The entire landscape had a strange quality of fantasy calibre, but it still seemed so just and true. It must have been real. The light brown dirt faded into grey, and finally at the top it was pure white. So pure, it was freedom. Why was she pursuing that freedom? She yearned to get closer, she wanted it.

       Saki squinted up. Besides the spectres drifting farther away in the updraft, two people were climbing, both nearing the top. One, a man dressed in a black two-piece track suit with strange purple locks. He was tall and lanky; if she hadn't been watching him climb at that particular moment, she would have sworn that he seemed unfit for it. 'Is that Yuki? It appears that way...' Neck to neck, another man climbed alongside him to his left, as if racing to get to the goal before the other. This red-haired man shot looks of contempt from his scarlet orbs, laughing eerily as the first one nearly lost his grip on the mountain side. He recovered, and they continued. They crawled up onto a ledge. There was such a small distance left to climb before they would reach the top.

       "You can't escape this punishment; this is who you are." From under purple strands of hair, the voice was vicious and uncharacteristic of the Yuki she knew. "Time is almost up for you to lose to me forever. The clock is ticking even now. Come on, give yourself up."

       Saki felt the urge to get up there, to help this man from those harsh catcalls. 'Is that the same fiery Kyou? He would never take that talk from Yuki.' She pressed on, her pace picking up, her breath becoming ragged. As she climbed, the ribbons fluttering in front of her changed into white ones. Tucked against the ribbon on her left wrist was the white lily she had given Tohru. Instead of feeling the strain of climbing, Saki felt as if she was no longer inside her body; she was a spectator in some strange onstage production, merely a member of the audience. She watched as her body shape shifted completely, a grand transformation. Instead of watching herself, she was watching the struggle of Honda Tohru.

       Beads of sweat dripped from Tohru's forehead as she pushed herself forward. She somehow reached them before they lost control; she screamed for them to stop fighting, please, for her. Her arm was lying along the edge of the rock as she attempted to gain the strength to pull herself up to where the men stood.

       "This is going to be over," a malicious grin spread across the normally polite boy's face, "now." In a swift movement his leg slammed into Tohru's arm. Time seemed to slow as Tohru's eyes widened then clenched themselves shut. Her arms flailed around her, but it was too late. She started to fall.

       "It's as it has always been said, no one can ever save us. Don't you see?" The red-haired boy's mouth dropped open, not at the words spoken by the other, but at the sight of Tohru falling away from him. He jumped down with no consideration of his personal health, grabbing hold of her and holding her close as they plummeted the unimaginable distance to the jagged rocks and quicksand below.

       "So close to freedom....You were so close, I'm sorry, Kyou-kun," Tohru whispered into his ear.

       Saki didn't know how it ended, whether or not a miracle would occur; curtains drew closed around the scene before her. There was no encore. The performers did not take their final bows. It was dark in the theatre of her mind.

Author Notes: Chapter 5; Completed October 15th 2003, Revised and Uploaded October 17th 2003.
This dream sequence is the premise behind this entire story. The effect on choices, influences, and things out of your control that make up her entire life. You'll see where all the connections from her surreal dream come from in the story as you read on.
Thank you all for your kind reviews! You're all wonderful *hugglesquishes and cookies for all*
* * * * * Altered Excerpts from "Lullaby" by The Tea Party; Fruits Basket characters to N.T. at Hana to Yume Comics