Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Revelations ❯ Confrontation ( Chapter 5 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Hmmm... Took me a bit to get at my reviews. Had to switch computers for some reason...::giving computer monitor quite the disgruntled Glare:: Good thing I've got my laptop!

I'm falling behind schedule posting these, I know--it's trip season though, and I'm a trip driver (I'm talking school bus and after-school sports events, here). That means I'm out LATE pretty much 5 nights a week, with the various sports teams and such--like, I leave home at 4:45 a.m. and sometimes don't get back `til after 10 p.m....and I'm the loony idjit who lives an hour one-way from work (there's REASONS my nickname's “Crazy,” after all!).

Granted, I lug my laptop with me everywhere--but the poor battery only lasts an hour and a half before needing a recharge, and there's nowhere to plug it into on a school bus. Darn it all! >.< Unfortunately, some of the sports fields I'm at are out in the middle of nowhere, without power outlets...::bigger, more mournful sigh::

Ah, well, hopefully I can catch up this weekend, in between mowing my 4 acres of Spring-time super-rapid-growing grass (I swear, stick a ruler in the ground after mowing a section, and it's gone up nearly a centimeter an hour later!! O.O ) and planting the multiple flats of flowers, while they re-side my house and replace the roof and re-side my garage, and--

Heh! :=]

DISCLAIMER--I do not own Fruits Basket or any of its characters, etc. Though I do have this nice basket full of plastic fruit sitting on my kitchen table...

Chapter 5 - Confrontation

Kyo glanced behind him from checking through his bureau to see a highly upset Yuki standing framed in his abused door, one arm braced on it; panting rather heavily. The nezumi's voice was rough and anguished when he demanded, “What do you think you're doing, you kuso baka neko?!!”

Kyo stifled the slightly hysterical urge to laugh at seeing the nezumi lose his composure so thoroughly. He couldn't remember ever getting Yuki this upset before! He turned to face his so-called nemesis, standing straight, hands fisted and hidden under crossed arms. His whole posture was contrary; that of someone determined he was not going to have his mind changed.

“Gettin' it over with.”

Yuki gaped at the bald statement, unable for a moment to think of anything to say. Kyo used the opportunity to go on, “It's gonna happen, no matter what I do--Akito might go ahead an' lock me up earlier anyway, there's no guarantee he'll wait for graduation.” His head lowered, carrot-red hair hiding despairing red eyes from view. “I--can't stop thinkin' about it, anyway...

“I don't think I can take the waiting anymore. This way--this way, it's easier. It's over an' done.”

***

There wasn't anything Yuki could say. The words of the kami from the night before were spinning through his head; but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out how to make it happen--not in time. How in Kami-sama's name could he get all the Jyuunishi-cursed to support Kyo--against Akito?! The cure the kami had dangled before them seemed impossible, like a cruel jest against them.

How could he possibly do it? How ever could he get them all to agree?!

How could he save his--his friend...?

***

Kyo looked up when Yuki stayed silent, but for his oddly heavy breathing. A bit concerned that the nezumi was going to have another asthma attack, he uncrossed his arms and took a hesitant step towards him, almost reaching out with one hand.

He stopped when Yuki shot a hand out in front of himself, palm-out, for him to keep his distance. He couldn't see Yuki's expression--the nezumi's head was down, silken grayish hair covering most of his face but for his tight-lipped mouth. He was still standing braced, feet wide, tension screaming off him in waves.

Suddenly Yuki looked up at him with burning gray-violet eyes. “Outside!” He grabbed Kyo by the collar and all but dragged the startled neko behind him, much like Kagura would; down the stairs and out the door, then off into the surrounding forest.

***

Shigure looked up from his breakfast with a bemused smile as the two young men sailed by, in the obviously startled Kyo's case almost literally. He craned his head to watch them out of sight into the trees. Then he grinned, little stars popping up in his eyes as he clasped his hands together under his chin and sing-songed, “Well, well, well! My poor house isn't going to be destroyed today! Oh, happy, happy day!!”

Tohru just stood and stared after them, trying to decide if she should follow, maybe try to stop them from fighting... She had no doubt that's what they were going to do, not with that look on Sohma-kun's face. If Sohma-kun was looking mad, there was no way Kyo-kun would back down from fighting with him!

`Oh, Mom, what should I do?! I-I don't want Sohma-kun and Kyo-kun to fight--I don't want them to really hurt each other! But--I think Sohma-kun and Kyo-kun might really need to fight this time; they looked really upset...that seems to be--how boys show friendship, sometimes; isn't it? By fighting, without being reallyserious about it? It's just so hard for me to tell if it is serious, sometimes!

`I just know they're not the enemies every one says they are supposed to be, Mom! Especially since--since Kyo-kun seems to be going to see Akito-sama, just to protect Sohma-kun... I know Akito-sama hurts Sohma-kun; I wish he wouldn't do that! But--it does mean Kyo-kun must really like Sohma-kun after all, right? Because I think--I think--Akito-sama will hurt Kyo-kun in Sohma-kun's place; and Kyo-kun knows that, I just know he does. So maybe, maybe my dream of the two of them someday being friends is already true, and I'm just too silly to see it.

`It's like--how Kyo-kun shows me he likes me; you can't just listen to his words, they don't come out the way he wants them to. You have to watch what he does, the expressions on his face; his body language...the results after he's done something, like when he saves Momiji-chan from bullies at school. Hetries to makeit sound like he was just looking to fight somebody, and the bullies were handy...but he's never `looking for a fight' unless somebody needs help.

He never wants to admit to having feelings for anybody. Kyo-kun always seems to yell more when he's embarrassed, too, which he gets whenever he does try to express his feelings for someone. He--doesn't seem to want anyone to catch him being nice to anyone; I don't understand why...?

`Oooh, I just don't understand what's really happening; and I so want to! Hatori-san, Shigure-san, and Sohma-kun--when Kyo-kun said he'd go see Akito-sama in Sohma-kun's place, they looked almost scared for him! Hatori-san and Shigure-san bowedto Kyo-kun, Mom--I've never seen them do that towards Kyo-kun before; I've never seen any of his family give Kyo-kun that kind of respect...oh, no, and he didn't even see it, he was heading upstairs! That's so sad!

`Kyo-kun said something about the “Neko's House”--what is that? Kyo-kun has his own house...? It--it didn't sound like he wanted to be there, wherever it is. I--I have a bad feeling about that, Mom...

`Mom--I--I-I don't know what my heart is trying to tell me to do!Oh, I wish you were here to help me!'Tohru's thoughts wailed on in her head as she wrung the rag in her hands `til it was in danger of shredding. She stared with worried, wide chocolate eyes after the two young men she was closest to in all the world.

***

When Yuki felt they were far enough from the house and Shigure's prying ears, he spun about, nearly pitching Kyo to the ground as he let go of his collar. He stood with balled fists and bared teeth, fighting the urge to flat-out slug the neko; never mind using any martial arts moves, he just wanted to hit some sense into that--that--baka neko!!

“Whaddayou doing?! Kuso nezumi! You wanna fight?!” Kyo bristled back at him, giving off the impression of a fully bushed, flat-eared neko, ready to attack.

“No, I don't want to fight. --I don't want you to do this!!” Yuki hissed at him through clenched teeth, not even noticing that blood had started to trickle from his palms as his nails bit through the skin.

Kyo saw, though; his eyes flicked to the bright red drops, then back to Yuki's anguished face. He carefully kept his own expression steady--slightly mad, a tad worried...absolutely none of his tightly-controlled fear could show, or he'd never be able to convince Yuki to just accept what he'd decided to do. Apparently, the kuso nezumi had decided to make up for lost time in their newly-rediscovered friendship, and was going overprotective on him!

Kyo snorted to himself. He'd lived pretty much his whole life without anybody's protection, not from the things that really hurt. He certainly didn't need somebody to start trying now!

The point of doing this, now--was to keep Akito from hurting Yuki; having the kuso nezumi decide to pull some stupid stunt to get him back out of the Neko's House, would defeat the whole purpose of going! So Kyo grit his teeth and stiffened his glare, trying to project as much anger as he could muster.

“I'm not all that thrilled about doin' this, either--but--I can't handle the waiting! I can't, damnit!! I don't need my nose rubbed in what I'm gonna lose; not for the next lousy few months--” He bit off the flow of words before they got completely away from him, now breathing heavily himself. The two glared helplessly at each other for a frozen moment, trembling with tightly pent-up emotions that threatened to explode out of them.

Then, after what seemed forever, the moment passed; Yuki lowered his eyes, turning his face away. Still breathing heavily; tension still threaded tightly through all his muscles...but not knowing what to do about the situation.

Kyo took a deep, shaky breath and let it out, slowly, trying to exhale all his own tension. He looked down, away from Yuki; trying to ignore the painful tightening of his chest. It wasn't physical, after all; it was literally all in his head. Or rather, in his heart...

Then Yuki's head snapped urgently back around to him. “Kyo. Do you love her?”

Kyo blinked and jumped back, staring at the nezumi like he'd gone completely crazy. “Nani--!?”

Yuki stared intently, straight into wide red eyes. “Do you love Honda-san?”

Kyo's mouth opened and closed a few times, just like a landed fish. He didn't know if he wanted to even try answering that...hell, he wasn't sure he knew! “Uhm...”

“If you love her--then tell her. Now. Don't make her wonder for the rest of her life.”

Something in Yuki's eyes caused Kyo to narrow his. He wasn't sure what it was, mixed in with all the anguish and anger... He was fairly certain that Yuki was himself in love with Tohru, though. So why in hell had he said--that?!!

Hell, it would only hurt Tohru to say he cared about her,that way--there was nothing she could do to help him, after all. Kami-sama, if she spoke on his behalf to Akito, it would only get him locked up even sooner; and might lead to Hatori having to wipe her memories of them all! The only thing he could tell her was to deny it was even possible that he loved her. That way, at least--if she did care at all for him, she wouldn't worry--

`Aaaah, she worries about Akito,for cryin' out loud! Of course she's gonna worry about me; no matter what her feelin's are.' Well, she wouldn't worry as much, then; she wouldn't think he was pining away for her, or something stupid like that.

`Kuso!' Yuki had gone and asked the question, now--and Kyo knew it was something that really should be answered, if only to himself. He decided, if Yuki could be man enough to risk the loss of the girl he loved, like that--not that Kyo believed for a moment that any girl in her right mind would pick somebody like him, over a damned near perfect “Prince!”--Kyo could damned well be man enough to admit to himself if he really loved her, or not.

If he could be sure...his eyes went unfocused as he lost himself in thought.

***

Yuki waited, breath threatening to catch in his chest, as Kyo stared unseeingly at him. The emotions flitting across the neko's face were too fast for him to be sure of them, other than that first expression of pure shock. Kyo seemed to be honestly thinking about the question, though--which was what he'd wanted.

It was true, after all; Honda-san deserved to know, both if Kyo loved her--which Yuki couldn't bring himself to doubt, not after having watched the neko around her for more than a year--and that Akito was going to lock Kyo up, taking him away from them all. Probably forever.

It was possible--just barely!--that Honda-san could change the stubborn neko's mind, and give Yuki a bit of time to figure out how to make the kami's cure for the curse come about. He wasn't at all certain he could do anything; not unless he had Kyo with him, so he could prove to everyone that the neko wasn't what the rest of the Jyuunishi-cursed had always thought him to be. Without the proof of Kyo's `altered' behavior, they'd likely just think the nezumi's mind had snapped, or something.

Though if Honda-san succeeded, then he'd have to recover from--whatever Akito wanted him for. He had an idea of just what that was, from some rather blatant hints dropped the last few times he'd been called...and the thought sent sickly waves of fear and revulsion crashing through his whole body. If he hadn't better known what Kyo really faced in the Neko's House, he might well have let the neko go in his place without a word of protest; what Akito seemed to want from him, scared him that badly.

The realization made his face burn with shame. Kyo had it much worse from Akito, Yuki was now certain of it; and he'd willingly offered to go in Yuki's place. The kami had been right; it was a good thing they'd finally been able to talk.

Even if it meant he could never be more than a friend to Honda-san, even if it turned out she was in love with Kyo and not him--it would be worth the pain of dealing with that, in order to have the both of them with him, safe and healthy. He was so tired of being alone, and lonely.

Besides--if Honda-san really was in love with Kyo, he'd already `lost' her. You couldn't force someone to feel what you wanted them to feel--Akito had taught the nezumi that, by trying to do it to him. Though if she loved Kyo but he didn't love her, while Yuki did...

His head hurt at the mere thought of the mess that would be.

He tried desperately to suppress the pained twinges of jealousy that pricked at his heart every time he thought of Kyo and Honda-san being together, possibly even married. He wanted whatever was best for Honda-san--he didn't care if it meant he'd get hurt; he'd deal with that, he just wanted her to be happy.

That's all that mattered. His heart steadied the more he thought about that; a sense of calm swept through him. His protective instincts were all centered around Honda-san. Just as long as she was happy, he might be.

He determinedly kept telling himself that, as he worked to keep his thoughts from centering on how he was going to feel when Kyo was gone. Somewhere deep inside, he knew he'd never be happy so long as the neko was locked away like that. Somehow, at some point in time, it had become necessary to his contentment for Kyo to be happy; just as necessary as Honda-san's happiness...perhaps more so, actually. Eventually, his subconscious knew, he'd have to admit that to himself.

Just--not quite yet.

***

Kyo had never been in love before; he didn't know how it felt. Not knowing how to start about figuring out his feelings, he tried asking himself a simple question--how would he feel if Tohru were to die? All he'd ever heard about `true love' made him think that if he was in love with her, he wouldn't want to survive her. Right? So, he built up a picture in his mind--Tohru, crossing the street; with a car coming straight at her, at high speed.

He couldn't force himself to picture the impact...let alone the aftermath. He just couldn't do it.

On a sudden, suspicious thought, he tried picturing first Shishou, who he knew he loved like a real father, in Tohru's place--and then that hentai cousin of his, Shigure.

Then he growled at himself, in his head. Shimatta!! He couldn't even picture the kuso hentai inu dying, and there was no way in hell he was in love with Shigure!! He wasn't even really sure he liked the baka. So much for that idea!

How the hell was he supposed to figure this out, in just one night?! He hadn't much thought about it at all, before; mainly because he couldn't do anything about it. How fair was it to Tohru, to tell her he loved her--just before going away, forever?! Even if she didn't love him back the same way, she'd still feel horrible about the whole thing! Hell, especially if she didn't love him back!

He didn't notice how his thoughts were tending--worrying over what harm it could do to Tohru to admit to his feelings. His mind had yet to even consider the idea of her having fallen for him, and his having to pretend that he didn't return those feelings. It was dwelling solely on how she couldn't possibly return his feelings.

Sinking down to sit cross-legged on the leaf-covered ground, he rested his arms on his knees and let his head droop, closing his eyes. He brought to mind every single memory of Tohru he had, trying to identify the emotions they brought up in his heart. He then went on to remember everyone else in his life that he cared about--pitiful small list that was... He started trying to imagine what life would be like without each of them, but his thoughts quickly shied away from that line of reasoning--it cut way too close to the reality of his too-near future.

After about a quarter hour of the most intense soul-searching he could stand, Kyo looked up at Yuki, once more aware of the world around him. He thought wryly that he'd been so absorbed in his thoughts, he probably wouldn't have noticed if someone had walked up and knocked him out.

But at least he'd finally noticed the trend in his own thoughts. Now, it was just a matter of dealing with it, limiting the potential damage he'd leave behind.

The nezumi was sitting cross-legged in front of him, quietly waiting. His intent, violet-touched gray stare made Kyo uncomfortable for a moment. He cleared his throat and tried to get a hold of himself. Shrugging slightly, forcing a half-hearted smile to his face, he admitted, “Yeah, I think I do love her--” As Yuki's face froze and his eyes misted slightly, Kyo forced his face into a smirk and finished, with more strained effort than anything he'd ever had to do before in his life, “--like a sister, actually.”

The glare the nezumi leveled at him could have melted steel quicker than any laser. He really shouldn't have let that hesitation into his answer! Kyo held up both hands to fend off the nezumi's wrath, snickering, while hoping Yuki would be distracted enough by his faked attempt at humor to not figure out that the neko was lying through his teeth. “Sorry, sorry--I just couldn't resist! You should've seen your face--!”

Said face went expressionless as Hatori's could be as Yuki demanded, “Will you be serious?! Is that how you really feel...is that what you're going to tell Honda-san...?”

Kyo let his eyes fall for a second, all humor draining off his face. He looked up and caught Yuki's eyes, being very careful of his expression. He'd spent so many years trying to protect Yuki; he wasn't about to hurt the nezumi himself, not where it mattered most--in his heart. Not if he could help it.

He'd promised.

“Forever and ever, and ever again...even if Akito makes you forget all about me.”

“You promise--even if I forget?!”

“Yes.”

Besides--it wasn't like he was going to be around to make more of a mess of things, anymore. He did his best to ignore the chill that raced up his spine at the thought, holding the memory of that long-ago promise like a shield.

“Yeah--I'll tell her; I'll tell her that I love her like a sister. I can't stand the thought of her getting hurt...” Well, at least that part wasn't a lie. Strictly speaking. He'd said what he'd be telling Tohru; it just--wasn't the whole of what his feelings were. “--but I don't wanna--j-jump her bones, or anything like that.” Oh, his tongue should be turning green and falling out any second now!

“There've been a couple'a moments where I kind of almost kissed her, but--” He kept himself from blinking or twitching, holding to the partial lie he'd decided to tell, trying desperately to force himself to believe it; “not anymore.”

He carefully watched the play of emotions crossing the nezumi's face--most notably, the suppressed jealously when he mentioned `kissing' Tohru. Oh, yes--the nezumi was definitely more than fond of the girl. The relief that Yuki was so-obviously feeling as Kyo spoke of brotherly feelings was also a clear clue of the nezumi's feelings.

Kyo's gaze then sharpened, red eyes boring into gray. There was something Tohru needed to know from Yuki a whole lot more than she needed to hear anything at all from a soon-to-be-gone Kyo; something that would likely do her a whole lot more good to hear.

“You are gonna tell her how you feel--tonight. Aren't you.”

***