Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Revelations ❯ Goodbye... ( Chapter 6 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Phew--I got stuck on this chapter for a bit...I got the next three done before this one went past a mere 600 words. Eeek! And then the dreaded Real Life bit me.

Oooooh, just don't ask...! --`Sleep'? What's that? I've heard of that `sleep' stuff somewhere...::gnashing teeth and glaring off into the distance at just-passed events::

Hmmm. Where was I...? Oh yeah--

I wasn't going get into the head of anybody but Kyo and Yuki; but Tohru has managed to get inside mine! And since she's rather central to the whole series, well, I've let her have a bigger part than I'd originally planned. (Kyo and Yuki were real good at begging, too; they were getting exhausted, being so in the spotlight! Plus, they've discovered my one big weakness--cho-co-late. <drool!!> ) ;=D

DISCLAIMER--They still ain't mine...I'm just takin' shameless advantage of borrowin' the poor kids...<eg>

Chapter 6 - Goodbye...

“You are gonna tell her how you feel--tonight. Aren't you.”

It hadn't been a question. Kyo's eyes bored into Yuki's, serious and determined. Brotherly, indeed; and in full protective Big Brother mode, too!

Yuki swallowed past the huge lump of relief stuck in his throat, clasping his hands together to stop their shaking. `He's not in love with her!!' His heart felt like it skipped a few beats as the relief washed through him. He sternly reminded himself that she could still very well be in love with Kyo--which would definitely make things complicated.

He snorted softly to himself. `Like they're not already?!' Then he nodded at the neko and said, softly, “Yes. Tonight.”

It was almost scary, this little talk. If someone had told him, just yesterday morning, that he and Kyo of all people would be having an intimate little chat like this--without a drop of blood being shed, no less!--well, he'd have seriously thought they needed to go on medication!

He ignored the niggling little doubt in the very back of his mind. He'd seen Kyo's behavior around Honda-san; his subconscious realized there was too much blushing, too many longing looks when backs were turned...and he'd already discovered that their neko was apparently a much better actor than anyone could ever have reason to suspect. If Kyo thought he was in love with Honda-san--and that she'd only be hurt by knowing the neko loved her, too--

There wasn't anything he could do about that, at least--not yet. He had enough to worry about with saving Kyo, and trying to break the curse. He'd worry about their rivalry for Honda-san's heart when all the other crises were settled.

At that moment...if the curse were to be broken; and if Tohru's happiness and Kyo's freedom meant they stayed a threesome forever...Yuki wouldn't complain.

Much.

***

Watching with slightly bitter amusement as the relief flashed once more over Yuki's features, Kyo suddenly made another decision. He held up his left arm, to stare intently at the bracelet he always wore...the seal of black and white beads, that locked away the Neko-cursed's `true form.' He flicked a glance at the cloudless late-morning sky, remembering the weather report he'd heard earlier--there was no chance of rain again for at least a couple days, that last system had seemed to drag every other rain-threatening system in the area away with it.

He quickly pulled the bracelet off, trying not to mind the sickly feeling that ran about all under his skin, and handed it to the suddenly frozen nezumi...whose eyes darted between the dangling beads and the neko's face in shock. Kyo let out an aggravated sigh, rolling his eyes, and grabbed Yuki's hand. He pressed the bracelet into it, keeping the nezumi's shock-stiff fingers closed about the beads with both hands, concentrating on not letting Yuki feel the terrified tension that pulled at his muscles once that bracelet was off, nearly making his hands shake. He'd worn those beads since he was born--the only times the bracelet had been off, had been by Akito's hand...and now, once, at Shishou's.

He'd never willingly taken it off before; not purely by his own choice. Though--there had been a few times, after Akito had released him, and he'd crawled off into the woods to try and pull himself back together, that a friend with the luckiest damned sense of timing found him; and took them off for him when it had to be done--

Kyo shook his head. “Don't panic, damnit, it's not gonna rain for days! --This is so Akito doesn't destroy it. The next neko will need it...” he whispered hoarsely, intently holding Yuki's stormy gray eyes for a moment, to be sure the nezumi understood his guardianship. Then Kyo let go, stood up, and bowed once, not breaking eye contact until he turned and walked back to the house.

There wasn't much time before Yuki and Tohru had to leave for school, and he still had to say his goodbyes, at least to Shigure--and to Tohru. Whatever Kyo's feelings for Tohru, brotherly or not; whether he admitted the truth of them to her or not...whatever her feelings were for him...

They'd likely never see each other again.

***

Yuki held the precious beads in a death-grip, unable to let go even if he'd wanted to. Tears starting sliding down his cheeks, unnoticed. Kyo hadn't been able to completely hide the fear lurking in his eyes, after all. Not from someone who knew him--and knew what was about to happen to him.

`Oh, Kami-sama--Kyo--!What can I do?!I have to break the curse,and now; I have to!'

He feverishly began planning which of the Jyuunishi-cursed he'd approach first, and what he could possibly say to them. A great deal would rely on their trusting him, in spite of how oddly they were going to think he was behaving. The nezumi--speaking on the neko's behalf?! And against Akito?! He could already hear the astonished protests.

Yuki was not looking forward to it. He knew he had his work cut out for him. Shigure would likely laugh him out of the house before he'd even finished speaking. Haru--Yuki shuddered; Hatsuharu, Black or White, wouldn't care a bit; he was not fond of Kyo, at all. Momiji might be willing to at least listen; but he was thought of as so much younger than he was, there was little likelihood he could help with convincing any of the others.

It was possible that Hatori might believe him; after all, the only one of them who knew Akito better than Hatori, was Kureno. Hatori knew quite well what Akito was like, in all of his--moods. And he might even have noticed at least some of Kyo's comings and eventual goings, if only by accident; and would be the one most likely to notice if Kyo were trying to hide an injury.

Oh, Kami-sama--how was he supposed to get to Kureno?! Akito kept him much too close at all times, they were practically joined at the hip! But--the kami had said they'd all have to oppose Akito! Kuso--!

Realizing that time was getting away from him, and that completely missing a day of school was not really an option, Yuki let out a frustrated sigh and headed back to the house. Someone had to walk Honda-san to school, at the least, and he doubted that Kyo would even think of going to school; not just until lunch time.

And tomorrow--it wouldn't be an option.

***

When Yuki went back into the house, he was greeted by a slightly shell-shocked Tohru. She'd been quite amazed--as had Shigure!--when Kyo-kun had walked back into the house without a single bruise, or even a limp. He wasn't even covered in dirt! They'd been sure the neko and the nezumi had been busily trying each to reduce the other to a bloody pulp.

And then, Kyo-kun had asked her to meet him in a few minutes, up on the roof; he'd said he had something to tell her, and that it wouldn't take long. He'd looked so serious; and nervous, too. Maybe he might tell her what was going on, why everyone was so upset...?

He'd turned to Shigure, staring at him for a long moment, as if uncertain of something. Shigure had stared back, equally unsure; he hadn't even started teasing Kyo about needing moonlight for a properly romantic rendezvous with such a pretty flower of a girl.

Finally, Kyo simply bowed, and hoarsely said, “Thanks, Shigure. For--everything.” Head still down as he straightened, eyes hidden behind orange locks, he'd added, “Sorry--I couldn't follow your advice. It was usually good. That's why--I didn't dare follow it...” He turned and fled up the stairs, leaving Shigure with his jaw on the floor and his eyes three times their normal size. Tohru's eyes were so big it was a wonder they didn't fall out; she'd never heard Kyo-kun apologize to another Sohma like that, let alone so sincerely!

`What did Kyo-kun mean, about not daring to follow Shigure's advice--because it was good...?!'

They needed to leave for school before too long; Tohru panicked slightly when she looked at the clock. When she started flitting about gathering the breakfast dishes, flustered and babbling, Shigure had stopped her with a hand on her shoulder and told her to let it be, she should go see what Kyo wanted and then get herself off to school. She wouldn't want to be late, after all! The dishes could wait, they weren't going anywhere.

Tohru didn't really want to leave such a mess in Shigure's house, but something told her that whatever Kyo wanted to talk about was very, very important. And--if he was going to see Akito at noon, then--they might not get another chance to talk...maybe...for a very long time.

She truly didn't want to think about just how long a time it might be.

Sohma Akito--he scared her. She knew he had to be scared; she knew shecertainly would be, in his place, if she'd been told for her entire life that the whole reason she'd been born was to die for her family's sake. And she didn't even know just how it was supposed to happen--was he supposed to commit seppuku, would someone else do it; would the illnesses he'd apparently suffered from all his life suddenly kill him, or what? Did they even know for sure how he was going to die, or exactly when? No one had told her, and she'd been hesitant to ask.

How horrible it must be, though, if Akito knew the exact time and manner in which he was going to die! She wished she could have a chance to actually know him--the real person, not the cruel face he presented to the world--before it happened. She just knew he had some redeeming quality, something that made him a unique individual, and worth knowing. She just needed a chance to look for it.

He needed a chance to look for it, too.

Tohru yanked her mind back to what she was doing when she nearly fell off the ladder she'd set up to get her up to the roof, too distracted by her own worries to pay attention to her hands and feet. She blushed bright red, knowing exactly what Kyo would say if he'd seen her...worry would make him yell, and then he'd get embarrassed for yelling; then they might end up with no time for whatever he'd wanted to tell her, as they kept apologizing to each other.

She sighed and continued up the ladder, carefully watching her footing this time.

Kyo was sitting in his usual spot on the roof, looking at the few puffy clouds crossing the deep blue of the morning sky, with a rather melancholy expression. He glanced over as Tohru came into view, a look of deep sadness flickering across his expressive features.

He got up and came over to help her off the ladder. His eyes seemed to be lingering on her more intensely than she'd ever been looked at before, by anyone. It was like he was trying to memorize her every feature, as if the image would have to last a long time before he'd see her again.

Tohru shivered, remembering her earlier feeling about not having much time left, before Kyo would be gone from her life. The feeling scared her. She didn't want to lose him--

She shook herself quickly, trying to keep control over her emotions. Kyo wouldn't appreciate her bursting into tears and full-blown hysterics! She determinedly refused to think about just why the thought of not seeing Kyo again would upset her quite so much. After all, she'd likely feel the same if it was Yuki who was going away...

`...wouldn't I...? Oh, I'm so nervous, I can't think clearly!'

Kyo was giving her a rather puzzled look; she realized she was staring at him with some kind of odd expression on her face, she wasn't sure what it was but it was definitely confusing him. She tried to school her features into her usual cheerful smile.

***

Kyo looked away from her as they sat down, blushing slightly. Why did she always do that?! She didn't have to pretend to feel something she wasn't, not just for his sake! If she was worried, she shouldn't cover it up with that silly, beautiful smile...

He shook his head, trying to marshal his skittering thoughts. This was important; he had to say this right, for her sake. She must not be allowed to worry too much over what happened to him.

It was best to just get it over with. He took a deep breath to steady himself.

“Tohru. I--probably won't be coming back, after I see Akito.”

Her startled gasp drew his eyes to her face. The stricken look there sent an anguished pang through his heart, nearly distracting him from what he had to say. He ripped his eyes away from her and fixed them on the roof; grit his teeth for a second; then continued, “I--I'm sorry.”

Tohru's eyes got big. `Kyo-kun's apologizing--to me? What...?'

“I--I should have told you this before...months ago. Ever since my mother died, I've known--Akito is gonna have me locked up in the Neko's House, right after I graduate. Just like Shishou's grandfather, the previous neko... This--I'm just--I'm going a few months early, that's all.” His eyes still bored into the roof, unseeing. His fists were clenched tight enough for his fingernails to draw blood from his palms.

It was hard, keeping his body from shivering; he was scared. He knew there was a great deal of pain waiting for him, in the quite near future; physical--and not. He wasn't sure he was strong enough to handle it, without breaking; and he did not want to give Akito the satisfaction of having broken him. It was no longer possible to hide the fear behind his carefully contrived anger at the nezumi; the moment of truth was no longer some time in the future, it was about to land squarely on him. Like a truck-load of bricks.

He hazarded another glance at Tohru. She was staring at him, wide-eyed and dismayed. He looked away.

He was startled when he felt her small hand delicately land on his near shoulder, to squeeze gently. “That's why...that's why Kyo-kun never wants to let anyone get close, isn't it. So they won't miss him, when he's gone.”

Kyo felt the blood flush his face. He nodded slightly, mute, blinking quickly to hold back the excess moisture suddenly threatening to overflow his eyes. She'd certainly nailed his reasoning square on the head! It always amazed him how she could see right through people to their real selves...and still find them worth her friendship, in spite of it.

His head came up, eyes shocked wide, when he felt her head leaning against his shoulder. She wrapped both hands around his upper arm; it was as close to a hug as she could give him, risking his neko transformation.

He shivered, the tears beginning to escape and roll down his cheeks. He'd never hated his curse as much as he did in that particular moment, when he wanted nothing more in his life than to take this beautiful, gentle girl into his arm, and simply hold her.

She was always able to do this to him--get right past his emotional barriers, like they weren't even there. Having her there, holding him as much as she could, he no longer had any doubt what his feelings for this too-gentle girl were. Sorrow tried to drown him as the tears flowed faster. He turned his head away to hide them, while reaching to rest his free hand on her head. He couldn't speak, just then, past the great lump in his throat.

He wasn't going to be able to lie to her, after all, at this rate. Damnit!! It wasn't fair to Tohru; it wasn't fair to Yuki, who already believed the lie. Hell, he was going away! He needed to make the break clean, to let those two develop a relationship that would last, without thoughts of him stuck in the middle of it. So they, at least, could be happy.

Kyo had always known he wasn't meant to be happy--he'd been born under the Neko's Curse, after all; and the Neko didn't deserve happiness. Anything bad that happened to him, was his own fault; anything bad that happened to those around him, was also his fault. Everyone--everyone had always said so, for his whole life.

Everyone but Tohru...

“Kyo-kun shouldn't try so hard to protect others, not when it hurts him so. I'm glad I got to know Kyo-kun; I wouldn't want to have never met him, even if it means I'll be sad--when h-he g-goes away.

“I wouldn't want to have never met anyone that I've known in my life, even the people I loved that have died. The time I spend with them is precious; I'd be poorer to have never known them, for at least a little time.” Her hands tightened on his arm as she pressed her forehead tighter into his shoulder. “If Kyo-kun is g-going away--I'll miss him; but I'd never, ever, wish that I hadn't met him. I'll just wish, very hard, for him to be able to come back some time. And I'll hope for a way to visit him.”

Kyo felt wetness on his arm; she was crying. It nearly broke his heart completely. His first instinct was to pull away, to run off until they both had their emotions under control...but there wasn't time. This would be the last time he ever saw her.

The last time...

With a choked sob, Kyo abruptly twisted around and wrapped his free arm about Tohru, clutching her tightly to him for that brief instant before--

<POOF!>

Tohru instinctively shifted her hold to catch the orange neko before it fell to the roof along with his clothes, pulling him into a close hug, burying her teary face in his soft fur. Kyo wrapped his feline forelegs about her neck as tightly as he could, closing his eyes and just holding on. `Kuso! I love you, Tohru Honda... Please--be happy with Yuki--'

He didn't realize he'd said that out loud; but Tohru heard the barely audible whisper. Her tears fell harder. `Oh, Kyo-kun...'

“I love you, too, Kyo-kun...”

***