Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Scared To Want You ❯ What I Want ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: in the time it took me to open this document to write my fanfic, I still haven't been able to obtain possession of Fruits Basket. Surprise, surprise.

 

What I Want

 

He was glad that everyone in school had enough common sense to get the hell out of his way and he stormed to the door to the roof, it wouldn't be good if he accidentally broke a nose or two in his rage. It seemed that a reputation for the school's temper-student came in handy from time to time.

 

“Damn it all.” He spat again, throwing the door leading to the roof open and slamming it shut behind him, not noticing the small click as the door opened again after he was halfway up the steps, or the small footsteps as someone followed him; he couldn't hear anything through the haze of his fury.

 

Kyo's feet seemed to leave imprints in the concrete as he stomped across the roof. He grabbed the latter to the second highest part of the roof (as the highest was inaccessible without bringing another latter up) and heaved himself up, sinking to the ground with his legs crossed, and then flopping onto his back, his arms behind his head.

 

He concentrated on slowing his enraged breathing, just watching the clouds roll by. Clouds had no cares in the entire world; he wished he could be like that. Great, now he was wishing he could be an inanimate object.

 

“Kyo?”

 

Kyo couldn't help his orange cat ears perking up in delight. Maybe Tohru had come to see him again, as this wouldn't be the first time she had chased him when he ran to a rooftop. He sat up quickly and turned, his excited expression doing a complete 180 when he saw his damn cousin of all people standing where Tohru should've been.

 

“What?” he snapped, looking quickly away from Yuki's luring grey-blue eyes.

 

“Well, I wanted to… thank you.” Yuki said quietly, folding his hands in front of him. “And to, um, see if you were ok.” He said even quieter.

 

Kyo's expression softened, but he still turned away from Yuki, his legs crossed and his hands draped over his knees. He took a deep breath, not exactly sure how to respond to Yuki's last words.

 

“Why… were you going to wear that thing?” he asked instead, his voice as gentle as he could make it.

 

“Because---” Yuki tried to defend himself, but Kyo cut him off again.

 

“You aren't very good at doing things for yourself, you know that, right?” Kyo asked almost silently, watching the clouds again.

 

Yuki bit his---her---his lip, looking down at the ground. “What others want is---”

 

“More important?” Kyo guessed, chopping Yuki's sentence off harshly. “But it really isn't, you need to look for what you want, not what others want.” Especially in your condition. He added to himself.

 

“…………………I'm sorry.” Yuki said finally after an almost painful pause.

 

Kyo whirled, hearing the water in Yuki's voice. He's not crying, is he?!

 

But Yuki was gone. Kyo jumped to his feet and looked over to the lower area of the roof, but Yuki wasn't there either. He was just gone.

 

Kyo sighed almost regretfully and sat back down. He lay on his back, with his arms and legs spread so he resembled a star, staring at the clouds again. He wished he was like a cloud, with nothing to regret, or hope for, or hate.

 

After School

 

Kyo slid the paper door to Shigure's house open, kicking off his shoes as he stepped in.

 

“I'm home.” He called quietly, not really expecting anyone to hear or even care, even though a small part of him hoped that Tohru would step out from the kitchen to welcome him home. She would be holding a ladle and one of those taster bowls, having forgotten to put them down before she walked out to see who it was, and she would smile, her wide smile brightening the room as she said---

 

“Welcome home Kyo.”

 

Kyo opened his eyes, the smile falling off his face in seconds. He slowly looked away from the wall in front of him and curiously towards the kitchen and took a cautious step towards the empty doorway. Ok, that wasn't Tohru's voice, but…

 

He poked his head in and felt his eye twitch.

 

Yuki was standing at the stove, hovering over a pot of soup on the stove, a ladle in one hand and a taster bowl in another, a small smile touching his lips as he watched the broth simmer.

 

“Uh…” Kyo began, not knowing what the hell he was supposed to say, or even think in this situation.

 

Yuki cooking wasn't even a big deal, actually, the fact that the soup looked good wasn't even what had made Kyo's mind run blank.

 

“Tohru went to go visit her grandfather, and Shigure went to go see Hatori, remember?” Yuki asked.

 

“Uh…” Kyo repeated again.

 

Yuki----possibly the worst cook on the face of the earth----was preparing what looked to be edible, but not only that, he must've gone to the store or something. He had his hair pulled back with a thin headband, his bags still hanging beautifully around his eyes, and was wearing a short, flowered apron, with a pleated mini skirt and tight halter top under it.

 

Kyo felt the blush creep up his cheeks, so he had to whirl, resting against the outside of the door to wait until he got over the jolt of seeing Yuki dressed like that.

 

“Kyo?” Yuki called. Kyo's shoulders clenched up, and his face went cold. Why the hell was he so worked up?!?!

 

“Do you want to taste this for me?” Yuki continued.

 

Kyo considered running to his room, but with Yuki acting like this, he would follow Kyo up to his room to make sure he was ok. So Kyo took a deep breath and squared his shoulders, shoving his hands into his pockets and striding into the kitchen, trying to seem as disinterested as he could be.

 

“Sure.” He sighed, picking up the small bowl on the counter and raising it to his lips. Part of him wanted to run. The food might taste like it was poisoned, but Yuki was watching him with such anticipation… he couldn't walk away until he said it tasted good, or risk having to give up his head to Hatori and have the rest of his body to be dissected slowly by Akito.

 

Kyo's hand hesitated with the bowl less than an inch from his mouth, that part that remembered Yuki's past cooking experiences wanted to scream, but he forced his tongue to dart out and test the broth. His eyes went wide for a fraction of a second before he composed himself. It was… delicious, almost as good as Tohru's cooking, and that was pretty damn hard to match.

 

“What do you think?” Yuki pressed, desperate for the information.

 

“It good.” Kyo admitted, swallowing the rest of the warm, tender broth. He was originally going to use the `It's ok… I guess', as he would've normally said, but Hatori's threat reminded him to keep everything bubbly, as he hadn't succeeded in doing this afternoon.

 

“I'm glad!” Yuki smiled widely, holding his hand out for the bowl. Kyo passed it to him, trying to ignore the electric shock when their fingers touched briefly, and quickly turned, trying to get out of that situation as fast as possible.

 

“Kyo, wait.” Yuki said just as Kyo had one foot in the hallway. Kyo reluctantly turned back.

 

Yuki was no longer smiling, he had set the bowl down, along with the ladle, and was staring at the pot of broth in an almost pained, and very determined way. As if he was forcing himself to stay strong while saying whatever he needed to get off his chest---err… back.

 

“Yeah?” Kyo prompted, trying not to sound agitated or impatient, and failing miserably.

 

“…I've been thinking, a lot, mostly about what you said this afternoon, especially about the whole `doing something for myself' thing.” Yuki gripped the edge of the counter, seeming to be fighting with himself again.

 

Uh oh. Kyo braced himself. Here came the punch he had been waiting for the past few days, ever since Yuki had wound up in the hospital.

 

“You're right.” Yuki said finally.

 

“What?!” Kyo gaped, his arms nearly dropping to his side in shock.

 

“I just… I don't know if I can have it. You know, the thing I want, so… I'm scared to look for what I want.” Yuki bit his lip, the counter almost cracking under his vice grip.

 

“Well…” Now what the hell am I supposed to say?! “I would… just… go… for it?”

 

“Really?” Yuki looked up at him, awe and hope in his eyes.

 

“Sure.” Kyo shrugged, hoping to keep the charade going for as long as possible. “I mean, if you want it, you gotta fight for it, right?”

 

“…You're right.” Yuki repeated suddenly, but gently all the same.

 

Kyo nodded, preparing to turn to leave, when Yuki was standing in front of him from out of nowhere. Yuki looked up at him carefully, and slowly slipped his arms under Kyo's arms and around Kyo's chest, pulling him into a tight embrace, hiding his face in Kyo's chest, where Kyo's heart was pounding like a jackhammer.

 

“I want to find it. I really do, but…” Yuki whispered.

 

The rat stopped talking and looked up at the cat, who had completely frozen from the blow. Yuki moved closer, sliding up onto his tiptoes, closed his eyes, and slowly pressed his lips to Kyo's.

 

That thunderbolt of electricity threw Kyo's mobility back into his face with the force of a sludge hammer, and his hands leapt to Yuki's shoulders, with the intention to throw him across the room. But as he stood there, eyes wide as the full moon, he realized that he liked the warmth of Yuki's lips on his, and instead of hurling Yuki backwards, he pulled the rat closer, closing his eyes too, ignoring the half of him screaming for him to run, and embracing the half that wanted this to never end.

 

Later

 

Kyo was lying on the roof, looking up at the stars and listening to the cicadas chirping in the night air. Thank god Tohru and Shigure hadn't come home for another hour after that… ahem, incident. He was only just getting over the blush now, and he'd been lying on the roof for half and hour, trying to keep out of Tohru's sight, but mostly Shigure's. The dog would not let up until he knew everything, and then would be forced to tell Akito.

 

Kyo's brow furrowed from the frown creeping up his lips in thought. He had never noticed it before, but, Yuki actually was a little bit shorter than him. He didn't know by how much, but Yuki had definitely needed to get on his tiptoes---even if it was just a little bit---to…

 

Kyo blushed furiously and pressed his hand over his mouth, sitting up abruptly. His lips were still warm, but maybe that was because the blush he had barely gotten rid of had just flared up ten-fold. Kyo swore colorfully under his breath. That blush probably meant another hour and a half before he could go back into the house.

 

“Kyo!” Tohru called from bellow. Kyo's hand shot up and touched his cheek lightly. It was cool, that meant that he could go down safely. He strode over to the latter and slid down it, landing lightly on the bottom.

 

“What's for dinner?” he asked casually, rubbing the back of his neck to make sure that was cool too, a final check to make sure the blush had disappeared.

 

“Yuki helped me make some cod and soba!” she bubbled.

 

“Cod, huh?” Kyo looked up at the sky one last time before it disappeared behind the ceiling of the veranda as the two ducked inside.

 

“Uh-huh.” Tohru nodded brightly. “I suggested leeks and cod because you like cod and I know that he… uh, she… likes leeks, so I thought that---”

 

“He.” Kyo said abruptly.

 

“I'm sorry?” Tohru turned to him confusedly, her hand on the sliding door.

 

“Yuki is a boy.” Kyo said, keeping his expression perfectly smooth. He's a boy, he isn't a girl, and will always be a boy. He told himself harshly.

 

“Oh, but he… ok.” She nodded.

 

“Did he, uh… say why…” Kyo started, trying to get this all out before they walked into the dining room, but for some reason, was finding it seemed strangely hard.

 

“Why what?” Tohru blinked.

 

Kyo smirked. As cutely clueless as always. “Did Yuki say why… he… uh, wanted to not do leeks?” he asked, trying to sound as disinterested as he could, his hand hovering on the door to the dining room.

 

“I think he said it was because you didn't like them, but I might have heard him wrong, he was talking very quietly.” Tohru smiled.

 

Kyo nodded and opened the door, stepping over to his place and sliding down. He picked up his chopsticks, preparing to eat, without looking at anyone. Especially not at Yuki.

 

Saturday

 

“Where're you going?” Kyo asked Tohru as she stepped happily by him, on the way to the door.

 

“It's Saturday and we're out of a lot of things, I was going to go to the store.” She answered, stepping into her shoes.

 

Kyo looked around. Normally, Yuki would've been the one to offer to carry her bags, but as he didn't see the rat anywhere…

 

“Do you want me to come? To carry your bags, I mean.” He clarified, shrugging.

 

“Tohru!” Yuki called suddenly from the kitchen, sounding panicked.

 

“What's wrong?” Tohru called, running back into the kitchen, kicking off her shoes as she went, Kyo right behind her. It wasn't often that the rat panicked, although he had been more prone to it since his car accident.

 

“I don't know what I did!” Yuki apologized repeatedly as Tohru quickly handled the pan of stir fired Chinese cabbage and sprouts. She flipped it around with the spoon a little, holding it over the sink until the fire died out, but it left half of the food in the pan charred into a lump of black carbon.

 

Kyo sighed, rolling his eyes as he left the kitchen.

 

“I'm so sorry!” Yuki wailed again in his soft voice.

 

“It's fine!” Tohru assured him. Again. “Do you want to try again?” she offered.

 

“I… don't think I… should…” Yuki hesitated.

 

“It's ok, I can do it.” Tohru said. Kyo smiled as he pictured her gentle smile from in the next room, the way she held the spoon so gently, the way she taught his damn cousin so kindly. She was amazing. Kyo smiled again.

 

“Is there anything else I can do?” Yuki continued.

 

“It's ok, you don't need to do anything.”

 

“Can I… did you say that you needed to go to the store?”

 

“I was, but it's ok.”

 

“I'll go for you.” Yuki offered excitedly, determined to make anything up to her because of the burnt dinner and lack of materials to make another dinner.

 

“Ok, Kyo said he'd carry my bags, so maybe he'll go with you.”

 

Kyo blanched, tripping and nearly taking out the paper door to Shigure's study.

 

“Kyo, are you ok?”

 

Kyo lurched mentally and flipped himself over three times and into a standing position. “I'm fine.” He snapped, making it sound like one word.

 

“I was wondering if you wanted to come to the store with me.” Yuki leaned toward him without actually taking any steps forward.

 

Kyo had the rejection line her had prepared on his tongue, and he opened his mouth, planning to let it just roll off his tongue without any emotion, but then his eyes locked with something. He had only glanced down a fraction of an inch, but it was enough.

 

Yuki's lips were a gentle and luring shade of red, a completely natural color, with none of that makeup stuff that, quite frankly, Kyo hated and found rather nasty. Once he had gone that fraction of an inch down, he couldn't stop his eyes from dropping lower. Yuki was wearing a light blue, long-sleeve, v-neck Henley, with three of the buttons open to reveal the very top of a white tank top.

 

As Kyo's eyes traveled lower, he noticed how Yuki wearing girls' clothes without anything of a girls' anatomy above the waist no longer really bothered him. It was a little like Ritsu, in a way, just without the insane apology antics every ten seconds.

 

Yuki's shirt was not tucked in, and it was hanging beautifully around his waist, the tiered skirt draping majestically around his knees, leaving just enough skin bare for desperate eyes. Kyo looked back up to Yuki's lips.

 

His first kiss.

 

Yuki had been his first kiss, and it hadn't been… bad either, just strange, different.

 

“Sure.” He muttered, a little miffed about loosing that battle with himself. He had wanted to tell Yuki off, to make sure what had happened two days ago never happened again, but he had his ass handed to him, on a shining silver platter meant for and only for mocking him.

 

“Ok, I'm just going to get my shoes.” Yuki smiled, practically skipping to the backroom. Kyo's eyes followed him for a little, but as Yuki bent over, he had to look away or risk taking out another few doors, so he whirled and stomped to the front door.

 

Kyo stepped into his shoes, lifting one foot up to pull the heel on, and then the other foot, repeating the same process. He straightened and looked at the door, seriously debating whether or not to just turn around. He could pull another `disappearing act' and go away for another four months until this whole Yuki-is-a-girl thing blew over, and when he got back, Yuki would just want to kill him. Everything would be normal and better that way.

 

He sighed, receiving his ass on a platter again and pulled the door open, shielding his eyes against the blinding red-orange sunset.

 

“Come on Kyo!” Yuki called, already a while up the path. Kyo stuck his hands in his pocket, giving up on fighting being nice to this fucked up version of his dumb-ass cousin and broke into a short jog to catch up with Yuki.

 

“Are you ok?” Yuki asked later on down the road, leaning forward the tiniest bit to look Kyo in the eye, though Kyo refused to meet his gaze. “You seem a little…” he paused, looking for the right word without sounding offending, “distracted.” He said finally.

 

“A little.” Kyo admitted through clenched teeth. His head lashed to the side and he forced himself not to snarl----or worse, attack----as yet another man wolf-whistled at Yuki. Kyo could sort of understand. Sort of. It still didn't make the action any less sickening.

 

Yuki was a knockout-drop-dead-gorgeous-angel in the tight shirt and skirt, his legs made to look just a little more muscular thanks to the tiny wedge on the heels that Ayame had given him. That was another sickening thing about Yuki's condition, Yuki didn't hate his brother anymore, in fact, he really liked Ayame, though he still got mad sometimes when Ayame went overboard. In the least, Yuki was a fallen angel to any other man who didn't know that Yuki was actually a boy.

 

“I'll wait here.” Kyo said in front of the supermarket door, not interested at all, he was concentrating too much on not killing the group of men that had gathered to stare at Yuki.

 

“Ok.” Yuki smiled and headed for the door. Kyo's breath hitched as the group of men started to follow his cousin. His cousin. Not while he was alive.

 

“Of all the…” he growled menacingly, his shoulders clenching up.

 

“What is it?” Yuki looked back, starting as Kyo grabbed his hand and pulled him inside.

 

Kyo didn't stop glancing over his shoulder to see if they were being followed until they were a good five isles away from the entrance, only then did he let of Yuki's hand and stop dragging him all around the store.

 

“Hurry up.” He snapped, shooting another murderous glance in the direction of the supermarket's door. Yuki nodded, only slightly worried, selecting a few of fish from the meat counter. Kyo couldn't help but notice that every kind Yuki picked, were all Kyo's favorites.

 

XXX

 

Kyo had two bags slung over his right shoulder, leaving his other hand free to punch someone if they came too close, which had already almost happened once.

 

It was getting dark, and that was making Kyo edgy. There was a fair-sized group of people---men following them. Occasionally the whistled, or made other rude and obnoxious sounds, but after Kyo had almost relieved one man of his nose, they kept their distance.

 

Kyo spared another glance to Yuki again. Either he still hadn't noticed the group behind them, or he was just hiding it very well. Kyo suspected that his second theory was more accurate and a lot likelier to be correct.

 

Kyo growled as the group started speeding up, becoming a little bolder with their advances.

 

“Hey honey, you want to get a drink?”

 

“You're cute, anyone ever told you that before?”

 

“Why are you with carrot top over there?”

 

“Yeah, we're much more fun, why don't you come spend some time with us?”

 

Yuki's straight face tightened, and his mouth pressed into a thin line, but that was nothing compared to Mr. Temper right next to him.

 

Kyo was trying to stay calm, but it wasn't working. He was really pissed now. Really. Really. Pissed. Off.

 

His shoulders were bunched and his hands were clenched into fists so tight, he would break a knuckle if he squeezed them any tighter. His teeth were gritted, practically cracking from the strain, and a low mix between a hiss and a growl was steadily rolling off of his tongue. What pissed him of the most was the gall those guys had, to try to advance on Yuki like this with Kyo right next to him.

 

“Hey babe, I'm talking to you.” One guy said roughly, coming out of nowhere, his hand tightly gripping Yuki's shoulder, with no intention of letting him go.

 

Kyo snapped.

 

He dropped the bags and lashed out, his fist trained on the chest of the man behind Yuki. If he was lucky, he would do some serious damage to the man with that first punch. The guy was going to loose that arm for laying it on Yuki, and Kyo was not going to give any mercy.