Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Scared To Want You ❯ Not Like This ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: I own nada, nothing, zip, zero, goose eggs. *makes O with thumb and forefinger*

 

Not Like This

 

Kyo groaned as he awoke, and was very, very aware that he was lying on something warm. And soft. And sleeping.

 

He managed to work up the energy to turn his head to the side. Yuki looked like an angel when he slept, his angelic features relaxed, his arms lax at his side, her---

 

Kyo smacked himself mentally, being unable to do it physically because of his lack of energy and ability to move.

 

Yuki. Is. A. Boy. He smacked himself, his teeth gritted so tightly they hurt. Not. A. Girl. He smacked himself again for measures and shifted so he wasn't leaning so much of his weight on his cousin, who looked incredibly fragile and vulnerable at the second.

 

Kyo sighed contently. I might as well enjoy it while he doesn't remember. I'm not going to take advantage of him or anything… just… Kyo looked back at Yuki and reached his hand up, stroking the velvety skin on Yuki's forearm, I don't know how long this will last, and I don't want to waste it.

 

Kyo wasn't exactly sure when he'd fallen in love with the rat. At the hospital when he'd brought Yuki his clothes? The kiss? When they had fought together and not against each other after going grocery shopping? When Yuki had taken care of him, not a few hours ago?

 

All that time they had spent not fighting?

 

Kyo groaned and pushed himself up off Yuki, his strength finally returning to him now that the medicine was wearing off. His headache could still kill an elephant, but he would deal, it was better than being under all those drugs that Hatori had forced down his throat when he'd come home. His brow furrowed as he looked at Yuki.

 

He'd never felt love before, not like this. Tohru had been a caring… crush for a while, but towards Yuki, it felt so much stronger. But then again, Kyo had never felt love before, not even for his parents, and from Tohru, it had just been the caring returned, Kyo didn't even know if this even was more than a crush. Maybe he was making a big deal out of nothing.

 

His sighed and threaded a hand in his hair, leaning forward and resting his elbow on the coffee table.

 

“What am I supposed to do?” he whispered to himself.

 

“Oh Kyo! You're up!”

 

Kyo sprang from the couch, the voice completely catching him off guard, and in his hangover state from the medicine, he thought it was Momiji for a moment and actually sighed when Tohru walked in.

 

“Yeah.” He nodded slowly.

 

“How are you feeling?” she asked quietly, noticing the sleeping Yuki on the couch.

 

“Alright,” I guess. My side feels like it's on fire because I jumped up so fast, not to mention that I'm confused as hell about Yuki.

 

“I'm glad,” She smiled.

 

Kyo sighed. Bless her and her blissful ignorance; it always saved him so much embarrassment—if nothing else.

 

“Are you hungry?” she continued, her hands clasped in front of her.

 

“Not really.”

 

He was going to say, `I just ate a few hours ago,' buy she wouldn't say that was enough. A half a bowl of soup in a little over four days is never enough—even for a cripple—in Tohru's book.

 

“Ok,” she shrugged hesitantly. “I'll fix something up for you whenever you want it.” She said over her shoulder as she walked out. Kyo took the opportunity to sink back and melt into the couch.

 

His head flopped back into his hands.

 

“What am I supposed to do?” he asked again, making sure that Tohru wouldn't be able to hear later.

 

Next Day

 

Yuki was literally bouncing up and down in his seat, glancing left every two minutes.

 

1 hour.

 

58 minutes.

 

56 minutes.

 

54 minutes until school ends.

 

“And before school ends, I'd like to close with a quick pop spelling quiz.”

 

The class erupted in groans, calling Yuki back to attention. Pop quiz? This late in the day?

 

Ah, what the hell, he knew all the words, and it would at least give him something to do until school ended.

 

“Ms. Aika, please give me the spelling of your word, the definition, the part of speech, and use it in a sentence. Your word is malady.”

 

“M-A-L-A-D-Y, it's a… disease, or a disorder… in an animal.” the girl bit her lip. “Noun, I get terrible and painful malady migraines.”

 

“Good, A.” the teacher returned.

 

Yuki blanched. Disease or disorder of an animal?

 

“Mr. Kiiro, laceration.”

 

“Oh shoot.” The boy mumbled and the class giggled. “Um, L-A-C-E-R… A-T-I-O-N… um… noun, a rough… jagged tear or wound.”

 

Yuki gulped, the image of Kyo's gash in his side fresh in his mind.

 

“The laceration I receive in the car crash had reopened during my routine jog.” The boy continued, more confident now. Yuki swallowed again.

 

“Good, B+. Mr. Midorriiro, please do paramour.”

 

“Uh… P-A-R-A-M-O-U-R, it's a noun… it means someone significant or a married person.”

 

“Or…?” the teacher prompted.

 

“Or… a lover.” The boy nodded after a moment.

 

Yuki twitched.

 

“Yuki, are you ok?” Tohru leaned over to whisper to him. Yuki nodded, a quick, jerking nod.

 

“Ms. Aoiro, moribund.”

 

“M-O-R-I-B-U-N-D, adjective, in a dying state or near death. Um…” she paused as she thought of her sentence, giving Yuki's brain just enough time to relive another horrifying image with the word.

 

Kyo was falling, his arms lax by his side and his dull, lifeless eyes only half open as he plummeted for the floor.

 

“Ms. Sohma?”

 

Yuki swallowed, trying frantically to get that image out of his head. Kyo's ok. I caught him, he wasn't dead, he wasn't dying. He. Is. Fine.

 

“Yuki!”

 

Yuki jolted back up, nodding to the teacher. “I'm sorry, I'm ready.”

 

“…Sal…vation.” The teacher said finally, scrutinizing Yuki.

 

“S-A-L-V-A-T-I-O-N, to save or protect from harm, verb, the salvation of the… boy… was due to the medics arriving at the scene of the accident in time.” Yuki stuttered.

 

The teacher paused, eyeing Yuki with his arms crossed. “Ms. Sohma, are you feeling fine?”

 

Yuki twitched again at the `Ms' but managed to nod. Jesus Christ, what he wouldn't give to come in to school, tomorrow and let everyone know that he remembered everything. But he couldn't.

 

“Are you sure?” the teacher continued. “You look a little flushed.”

 

Malady. Laceration. Moribund. The words were etched into his mind and wouldn't go away. Fate hated him.

 

His eyes widened as the other two flashed across his eyes like fireballs.

 

Salvation…

 

Paramour. He felt the heat in his face shoot through the roof again.

 

Better use it to my advantage while I can. “Well, I feel a little headachy…” Yuki touched his forehead.

 

The teacher glanced up at the clock. “Well, it's the last period of the day and you've already been tested… why don't you go to the nurse for the remainder of school?”

 

Yuki shot up, but remembered to stagger a little when he was upright. “Thank you.” He nodded to the teacher, stuffing his things in his bag.

 

“Yuki, will you be alright?” it was Tohru, she was obviously worried.

 

“I'll be fine.” He smiled up at her.

 

“But I have work today, I can come home instead and---”

 

“Oh no,” Yuki cut her off, “you should go to work. I'll be fine, it's just a headache.” Yuki assured her.

 

“Well… if you say so…”

 

“I'll be fine.”

 

Yuki grabbed his bag, remembering to straighten the monkey suit of a skirt he was in before walking out, trying to act as wobbly as he could without being obvious.

 

The door closed with a click, and Yuki bolted. Anyone watching would've seen Yuki, and then nothing when he disappeared in a flash. If they were looking really carefully, they would've seen a flash of the blue skirt and white shirt as he rocketed around a corner and flew down the stairs.

 

People stared as he ran, and even though he knew that his skirt was flying up and giving small views of the ridiculous lingerie that Uo had forced him to buy, saying that he shouldn't wear boxers. Some crap about girls have to be girls, and she had then whispered something about `even if they're really boys' to Tohru.

 

It was… easier—if that was even the right word—to wear girls underwear, because it was utterly impossible to keep boxers hidden under this ridiculously low skirt (he'd tried), and Tohru had nearly popped a blood vessel when he came down from his room one day wearing the boxer-skirt combination. Tohru and her friends had taken him out that very afternoon and forced him to buy the embarrassing articles of clothing. Before that, he hadn't even comprehended the idea that Tohru was actually able to pop a blood vessel.

 

Enjoy the show. He thought bitterly when he caught another group of guys staring open-mouthed at him. He didn't have the time or patience to walk home just to keep his skirt down.

 

Yuki threw open the door, wincing when he heard it crack and looked around frantically, sighing in relief when he didn't find an unconscious Kyo on the floor, or crumpled at the bottom of the stairs with a broken neck. And then he heard it. There was no mistaking that sound.

 

Yuki careened through the house, not even bothering to kick off his shoes as he went, and slammed open the bathroom door.

 

He leapt forward and placed his hand on Kyo's back, Kyo flinched at the person coming out of nowhere, but he didn't get the chance to find out who it was before his stomach emptied itself again.

 

When he was finally done, Yuki grabbed the glass off the sink and filled it, handing it to Kyo. He drained the entire thing into his mouth and spit, washing his mouth out.

 

“The stew Tohru left didn't sit too well.” Kyo explained weakly, letting Yuki help him up.

 

“Come on.” Yuki ushered him to the couch, being a little too numb to do anything else.

 

“I'll get you some crackers and something bubbly.” He mumbled, trotting away. His fingers lead themselves through the process of making up a plate of crackers and a glass of ginger ale.

 

Yuki's brain finally caught up with him, and he couldn't help but smile. Kyo's fine. What the hell was I worried for anyway?

 

He lifted the plate a turned, walking back to the living room, where Kyo was…wasn't lying on the couch.

 

The plate nearly cracked in half and the glass very closely shattered in his grip as he whirled back and forth.

 

“Kyo?!” there was no hiding the panic in his voice.

 

A muffled groan came from the porch, and Yuki ran towards it without even thinking, dropping a few of the crackers along the way.

 

Kyo was lying eagle-spread on his back, sprawled in a patch of sunlight, a peaceful and carefree expression on his face. Yuki sighed and set the plate down, walking over to his cousin.

 

Paramour. It flashed across his vision again, momentarily blinding him. Maybe fate didn't hate him as much as he thought.

 

Yuki gulped and knelt down, stroking Kyo's forehead. His saw the cat visibly flinch, but didn't stop as that same vibrating rumbling through Kyo's chest told him that it was making him happy.

 

Yuki's hand combed through the flaming orange hair and cradled under the cat's head. He gulped again, and in one swift movement, lifted Kyo's head and set it on his lap. He'd seen plenty of pictures in Manga posters in bookstores, of the characters in affectionate positions like this.

 

My words need to have some actions, or they're worthless. He reminded himself, his shoulders clenched, praying that the cat wouldn't reject him.

 

Kyo's eyes popped, but he didn't move, and after a minute of motionless fighting with himself, his eyes drifted closed again.

 

Yuki sighed audibly in relief, making Kyo open his eyes again and look at him. The question `what's wrong?' was very visible in his eyes. Yuki shook his head.

 

“It's nothing.” He whispered.

 

Back to Kyo's POV

 

Kyo's eyes never left the rat's face.

 

What is that? Happiness? His eyes trailed to Yuki's lips, remembering their last… ahem, well, the last time they… yeah.

 

Should I... do it again? Yes. No. Want. Yes. Bad. Boy. Not girl. Not love. Love. Just crush. No. Yes. He won't remember. He'll remember and hate you.

 

He bit his lip viciously to stop his thoughts, trying to sort them out without them smashing around in his head. His headache was finally gone, so that wouldn't hinder his ability to think as it had a few days ago, and his body no longer refused to move. Actually, he would've gone to school today if Hatori hadn't visited and told him that he was still too weak to go. `Doctor's orders.' Kyo rolled his eyes. He had thought about just going, but next time, Hatori would've showed up at the house with a syringe containing only god knows what and sedated him so thoroughly that he wouldn't have been able to remember his name.

 

Telling his common sense and his gut feeling to take a hike, Kyo reached up stroked Yuki's cheek with his fingertips. Yuki flushed an amusing shade of red and turned his head away from Kyo's hand.

 

What. The. Hell. He makes the first move and then denies me? I don't fucking think so, you damn rat.

 

Kyo, gritted his teeth and cupped his hand around the side of Yuki's neck, yanking him down and smashing his lips to his cousin's. Yuki froze, and Kyo winced, maybe he'd been too forceful. Maybe Yuki didn't even want this and the lap was just being nice. And the Yuki moved, brushing his hand over Kyo's shoulder, but it was enough. Kyo pulled his head off of Yuki's lap and rotated himself so that he was kneeling in front of the rat, their lips never breaking contact.

 

His hand began kneading the back of Yuki's neck, and Yuki's arms wrapped possessively around Kyo's neck, pressing them together so tightly that most people—at first glance—would've thought them to be conjoined. Then Yuki did something he never in a billion years thought he would do, he slid his legs out from under him and wrapped them around Kyo's waist, pulling himself onto the cat's lap.

 

Kyo's breath hitched, and his hands shot up to Yuki's shoulders, just like last time, but he was powerless to do anything when Yuki ground against him. The moan spilled out of his throat and into Yuki's mouth before he could even register what was really going on. And then the rat was leaning back, pulling Kyo slowly down as he went. Kyo was more torn than he'd ever been, but his hand instinctively shot out to brace them so he didn't land on Yuki, putting them in a very compromising situation.

 

Kyo was on his knees, bent forward with one hand on the veranda floor, the other wrapped around Yuki as Yuki's legs wrapped around his waist kept him suspended off the ground, his hands wrapped tightly around Kyo's neck.

 

Kyo was vaguely aware that the kiss hadn't stopped this entire time, and he didn't think he wanted it to, but… he couldn't do this, not like this at least.

 

Kyo slid he's knees back until he knelt Yuki's back touched the floor, and as Yuki grinded against him again, he almost gave in.

 

No, not like this.

 

Kyo broke the kiss, and in one swift movement, had detached himself from Yuki and was by the door, his hand gripping the frame viciously. He couldn't look back at his cousin, he didn't think he would be able to withstand the look on his Yuki's face. It would break him more than this was going to.

 

“We can't do this.” He said quietly. “You're going to remember everything soon, and you're going to regret it. Hatori didn't tell you anything about what happened, but he wants you to remember on your own. Sorry.” He kept his voice firm through the entire speech, though his chest felt like it was shattering, and when he was done, he walked inside the house, leaving Yuki out on the porch, his heart cracking as he heard Yuki's breathing quicken rapidly. But he couldn't look back, he couldn't comfort Yuki, he couldn't do anything.

 

“I'm sorry.” He whispered again. This is the hardest; even more painful than getting rejected by the ones you love, is having to reject them instead. I am causing the pain, and that makes it hurt that much more. This is for you, and you better appreciate it when you remember you damn rat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Oh please no! Not the rejection! Not the rejection!”

(In a stupid French accent) “Fear not, my faithful readers! The story is not yet over! But if you review more, the next chapter might come faster!” (singing last bit there)