Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ The Brief Diary of a Repressed Goddess ❯ Entry 4 ( Chapter 4 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: vampyremiyu 
There's excitement in the Sohma household! Good news that hasn't been heard of in a while! But all is not well in the house...or with Akito.
Anime/Manga: Fruits Basket Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.29.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 276 | Status: Completed
There's excitement in the Sohma household! Good news that hasn't been heard of in a while! But all is not well in the house...or with Akito.
Anime/Manga: Fruits Basket Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Angst | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 09.29.2005 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.0K | Visits: 276 | Status: Completed
THE BRIEF DIARY OF A REPRESSED GODDESS
A Fruits Basket Fanfic
Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
This story, told in several parts, is a lead in to a bigger story I'd like to do. No promises on the second story as of now until I see how this one goes over. SPOILER WARNING for chapters 97/98, 101 and other more recent chapters of the manga. Non-lemon chapter. Told from Akito's point of view. This is the next to last chapter. I hope you will enjoy! A Standard Disclaimer follows the chapter.
ENTRY #4
New Years was a big event.
For the first time in years, a jyuunishi had given birth to children. Well, it was the rice ball, but the damn mutt had something to do with it too. I wonder if she cursed at him while in labor. Sweet, little Tohru? HA! It's an amusing image.
After returning to the main house, life, it seemed, had gotten back to normal. No one, not even my mother asked about my time at the beach house. For the best I'm sure. Although rubbing it in that I secretly had a daughter would've been something of a thrill, I held my tongue. I still do. The last thing I want the bitch to know is that she's a grandmother. I'll tell her on her deathbed.
I had thought keeping the secret would not be a problem after giving birth, but that was not the case. I thought of her constantly. Wondering what she was doing. Had she taken her first steps? Said her first words? Tohru updated me regularly - I insisted now that she was part of the family - but I did not get to see her.
Them...actually.
The celebration was in full swing by the time I joined the group.
Decked out in full regalia, I greeted each of the jyuunishi. They all looked...older...since I'd seen them last. Especially Momiji, who would soon enter college. And Kisa who would start high school in the spring. But while they were indeed older, they had not changed so much. They bowed their heads in honor, mumbling the usual greeting.
My heart stopped when I greeted Shigure. He looked older...and much more handsome. My heart tightened, but not nearly as painfully as it had in the past. He kneeled and kissed my hand, as was practice. There was a smug smile on his face as I pulled away. I returned it with a smile of my own. If only he knew. For a second I thought maybe he did. Would Tohru tell the mutt my plan? She wasn't all that strong willed. Perhaps I had misplaced my newfound trust.
Only time will really tell.
I greeted Tohru and other family members as the reveling continued. There was a crowd wherever she went. She smiled like a proud mother, holding the son she had given birth to, and the daughter she had agreed to raise as her own. Two large bundles in very slim, tiny arms. Yuki and Kyo, as always, were there to help her. Shigure would coo at them, wiggling his finger or making a funny face. The children seemed to enjoy it. The adults found it amusing.
I was absolutely disgusted.
But I became part of the group anyway, making my way to the front. Tohru greeted me with an equally brilliant smile. She bowed a little, as best as she could with two children at hand. Yuki held the little boy while Tohru bid me a proper greeting.
"May I hold one?" I asked.
Everyone else seemed shocked. Tohru, however, knew exactly which one to hand to me. Carefully she placed a pink wrapped bundle in my trembling arms. "Of course!"
My breath caught as I held my daughter for the first time since her birth. She had been somewhat cranky before, but once placed in my arms, she quieted instantly. Another shock to the crowd. And the look on Shigure's face was priceless.
I smiled down at the little girl. Her head was covered in fine light brown. Her eyes were slightly red and swollen from crying, but they were the most dazzling brown I'd ever seen. She didn't look away from me either. Did she recognize me...from only a moment some four months ago? I highly doubted it. I was simply happy to have her in my arms again.
"Would you like to hold Kazuya?"
"Hai."
"Yuki, would you? Here! I'll take Sachi."
The little boy was a bit more energetic, but he, too, was calm in my grasp. His eyes were a dark green, and the dark hair on his head reminded me of images I had of Shigure as a boy. There was the devil's glint in his eye, smiling up at me, a spitting image of his father. I felt like dropping him to the floor.
Instead I passed him to Shigure.
"Two new additions to the family," I said loudly enough for everyone to hear. "This is cause for celebration. I declare a toast!"
There were various toasts and the like throughout the evening. Even after the jyuunishi dinner, when I hid myself in my quarters, held tightly in Kureno's embrace. I knew that giving up my daughter was the best thing for her. But it hurt so much to see her.
"Kureno, I wish to forget."
"Forget what?"
"Tonight. I want to forget that I had to send her away again."
His lips pressed against the top of my head, arms tightening around my shoulders. "You did the right thing."
"Convince me."
He tried, but to no avail. Lying in his arms, sweat cooling from our earlier exertions, all I could think about was...what if things were different? What if I hadn't given away my child? Am I really incapable of giving her the life she deserves?!
I know the answers, but I still ask.
I saw them again in summer. Twice in one week, too. A record! Apparently colds are transferable between siblings. I always got them just
because. It has me worried though.
Will she always be sick like me?
Tohru brought them to see Hatori. My daughter and Tohru's son. Sachi and Kazuya. I finally had a chance to ask where she came up with the names.
"Kazuya was my father's name," she said. "And Sachi...Shigure picked it out. I think he said one of his relatives had that name."
Hatori appeared a few minutes into conversation. The children would be fine. Kazuya was already getting over his cold and Sachi looked to only have minor symptoms. He prescribed some medication, handed her some samples and went off to his next patient. I walked Tohru to the door of his office.
"Oh, Akito-san! I forgot to invite you!"
"Huh?"
"We're having a small party for the children. It is their first birthday and all."
"A birthday party?"
"Hai," Tohru nodded. She looked much the same young woman, but I think being a mother has...matured her. "In two weeks. Saturday. All of the jyuunishi will be there."
"I will...consider it."
She nodded again, carrying two large bundles to a stroller. The children fought and cried as she buckled them in, but it was the only way to see them safely to the main door. I listened to their cries until the door had closed and locked behind them.
"Will you attend the party?" Hatori's voice was curious.
"No," I replied with a sigh. "But that does not mean I cannot go shopping."
"Shopping? For what?"
"Baka. For gifts."
There was no other answer as I made my way back to my rooms and called for Kureno. He was surprised, much like Hatori I'd wager, but he didn't argue. The car was brought around and we both got in. Kureno gave him the location and the car took off.
I went shopping!
I spent hours just looking at all the toys and clothing and accessories one could acquire for a child. I don't remember having any of this stuff as a kid! But then, mine was a...difficult...childhood. So I went through my second period in the toy store.
"Akito-san, the store's going to close in an hour. We need to pick out something. Please...put that down."
It was after 10pm when we arrived home, complete with clothes and toys. Pre-wrapped and tagged so it was clear who got what. I spent a pretty penny on those kids. Yes, I included the boy. It wouldn't do for my secret to be out in the open, no would it? Plus I picked out a little something for me. As long as everyone treats me like a selfish bastard, I may as well act the part, ne?
It was Hatori that took the presents and came back with the latest gossip. Both of them were walking. Sachi and Kazuya had taken their first steps but a month before. Falling right into each other, I was told. I was even given a home video to prove it. They're talking too...although the only word either could say was "mom". I felt my heart clench when I heard that on the tape. I would've loved to hear Sachi call me "mom".
Perhaps she will someday.
But for now, I can spoil till my heart's content. Funny. I never thought of myself as domestic, or motherly. Actually I never imagined myself having much fun outside of the tiny world that had been created around me. Slowly I am learning. I take pleasure in the little things, new things...feelings...that I don't know. Cautiously I am living the life I secretly dreamed of. A life I didn't think possible.
My heart is light while my nerves are restless. This is cause for panic, slowness of breath and general depression. It's also causing me to be sick to my stomach, to have little or no appetite. Heartsick is what Hatori likes to call it. Not like a cold, it comes and goes with my moods.
"Hatori-san, why do you frown so? I am not truly ill."
"You seemed so happy yesterday Akito-san. What is the matter?"
I know the answer, but I cannot tell him aloud. That would be weak. I am not weak.
"Akito-san, you need to pull yourself out of this slump. Perhaps another trip to the beach house."
"No, Kureno. I'm fine."
But I'm not fine.
Lately it's been more frequent.
And many in the household are concerned.
~TO BE CONTINUED~
DISCLAIMER:
Fruits Basket is owned by Natsuki Takaya/HAKUSENSHA - TV TOKYO - NAS - Fruba Project and licensed by FUNimation Productions, Ltd (for distribution in the USA). They own furuba. THEM! Not me! *sigh* All characters are used here without permission. Please do not sue. I have no money, although I would be happy to give away my bills. ^_^
A Fruits Basket Fanfic
Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
This story, told in several parts, is a lead in to a bigger story I'd like to do. No promises on the second story as of now until I see how this one goes over. SPOILER WARNING for chapters 97/98, 101 and other more recent chapters of the manga. Non-lemon chapter. Told from Akito's point of view. This is the next to last chapter. I hope you will enjoy! A Standard Disclaimer follows the chapter.
ENTRY #4
New Years was a big event.
For the first time in years, a jyuunishi had given birth to children. Well, it was the rice ball, but the damn mutt had something to do with it too. I wonder if she cursed at him while in labor. Sweet, little Tohru? HA! It's an amusing image.
After returning to the main house, life, it seemed, had gotten back to normal. No one, not even my mother asked about my time at the beach house. For the best I'm sure. Although rubbing it in that I secretly had a daughter would've been something of a thrill, I held my tongue. I still do. The last thing I want the bitch to know is that she's a grandmother. I'll tell her on her deathbed.
I had thought keeping the secret would not be a problem after giving birth, but that was not the case. I thought of her constantly. Wondering what she was doing. Had she taken her first steps? Said her first words? Tohru updated me regularly - I insisted now that she was part of the family - but I did not get to see her.
Them...actually.
The celebration was in full swing by the time I joined the group.
Decked out in full regalia, I greeted each of the jyuunishi. They all looked...older...since I'd seen them last. Especially Momiji, who would soon enter college. And Kisa who would start high school in the spring. But while they were indeed older, they had not changed so much. They bowed their heads in honor, mumbling the usual greeting.
My heart stopped when I greeted Shigure. He looked older...and much more handsome. My heart tightened, but not nearly as painfully as it had in the past. He kneeled and kissed my hand, as was practice. There was a smug smile on his face as I pulled away. I returned it with a smile of my own. If only he knew. For a second I thought maybe he did. Would Tohru tell the mutt my plan? She wasn't all that strong willed. Perhaps I had misplaced my newfound trust.
Only time will really tell.
I greeted Tohru and other family members as the reveling continued. There was a crowd wherever she went. She smiled like a proud mother, holding the son she had given birth to, and the daughter she had agreed to raise as her own. Two large bundles in very slim, tiny arms. Yuki and Kyo, as always, were there to help her. Shigure would coo at them, wiggling his finger or making a funny face. The children seemed to enjoy it. The adults found it amusing.
I was absolutely disgusted.
But I became part of the group anyway, making my way to the front. Tohru greeted me with an equally brilliant smile. She bowed a little, as best as she could with two children at hand. Yuki held the little boy while Tohru bid me a proper greeting.
"May I hold one?" I asked.
Everyone else seemed shocked. Tohru, however, knew exactly which one to hand to me. Carefully she placed a pink wrapped bundle in my trembling arms. "Of course!"
My breath caught as I held my daughter for the first time since her birth. She had been somewhat cranky before, but once placed in my arms, she quieted instantly. Another shock to the crowd. And the look on Shigure's face was priceless.
I smiled down at the little girl. Her head was covered in fine light brown. Her eyes were slightly red and swollen from crying, but they were the most dazzling brown I'd ever seen. She didn't look away from me either. Did she recognize me...from only a moment some four months ago? I highly doubted it. I was simply happy to have her in my arms again.
"Would you like to hold Kazuya?"
"Hai."
"Yuki, would you? Here! I'll take Sachi."
The little boy was a bit more energetic, but he, too, was calm in my grasp. His eyes were a dark green, and the dark hair on his head reminded me of images I had of Shigure as a boy. There was the devil's glint in his eye, smiling up at me, a spitting image of his father. I felt like dropping him to the floor.
Instead I passed him to Shigure.
"Two new additions to the family," I said loudly enough for everyone to hear. "This is cause for celebration. I declare a toast!"
There were various toasts and the like throughout the evening. Even after the jyuunishi dinner, when I hid myself in my quarters, held tightly in Kureno's embrace. I knew that giving up my daughter was the best thing for her. But it hurt so much to see her.
"Kureno, I wish to forget."
"Forget what?"
"Tonight. I want to forget that I had to send her away again."
His lips pressed against the top of my head, arms tightening around my shoulders. "You did the right thing."
"Convince me."
He tried, but to no avail. Lying in his arms, sweat cooling from our earlier exertions, all I could think about was...what if things were different? What if I hadn't given away my child? Am I really incapable of giving her the life she deserves?!
I know the answers, but I still ask.
I saw them again in summer. Twice in one week, too. A record! Apparently colds are transferable between siblings. I always got them just
because. It has me worried though.
Will she always be sick like me?
Tohru brought them to see Hatori. My daughter and Tohru's son. Sachi and Kazuya. I finally had a chance to ask where she came up with the names.
"Kazuya was my father's name," she said. "And Sachi...Shigure picked it out. I think he said one of his relatives had that name."
Hatori appeared a few minutes into conversation. The children would be fine. Kazuya was already getting over his cold and Sachi looked to only have minor symptoms. He prescribed some medication, handed her some samples and went off to his next patient. I walked Tohru to the door of his office.
"Oh, Akito-san! I forgot to invite you!"
"Huh?"
"We're having a small party for the children. It is their first birthday and all."
"A birthday party?"
"Hai," Tohru nodded. She looked much the same young woman, but I think being a mother has...matured her. "In two weeks. Saturday. All of the jyuunishi will be there."
"I will...consider it."
She nodded again, carrying two large bundles to a stroller. The children fought and cried as she buckled them in, but it was the only way to see them safely to the main door. I listened to their cries until the door had closed and locked behind them.
"Will you attend the party?" Hatori's voice was curious.
"No," I replied with a sigh. "But that does not mean I cannot go shopping."
"Shopping? For what?"
"Baka. For gifts."
There was no other answer as I made my way back to my rooms and called for Kureno. He was surprised, much like Hatori I'd wager, but he didn't argue. The car was brought around and we both got in. Kureno gave him the location and the car took off.
I went shopping!
I spent hours just looking at all the toys and clothing and accessories one could acquire for a child. I don't remember having any of this stuff as a kid! But then, mine was a...difficult...childhood. So I went through my second period in the toy store.
"Akito-san, the store's going to close in an hour. We need to pick out something. Please...put that down."
It was after 10pm when we arrived home, complete with clothes and toys. Pre-wrapped and tagged so it was clear who got what. I spent a pretty penny on those kids. Yes, I included the boy. It wouldn't do for my secret to be out in the open, no would it? Plus I picked out a little something for me. As long as everyone treats me like a selfish bastard, I may as well act the part, ne?
It was Hatori that took the presents and came back with the latest gossip. Both of them were walking. Sachi and Kazuya had taken their first steps but a month before. Falling right into each other, I was told. I was even given a home video to prove it. They're talking too...although the only word either could say was "mom". I felt my heart clench when I heard that on the tape. I would've loved to hear Sachi call me "mom".
Perhaps she will someday.
But for now, I can spoil till my heart's content. Funny. I never thought of myself as domestic, or motherly. Actually I never imagined myself having much fun outside of the tiny world that had been created around me. Slowly I am learning. I take pleasure in the little things, new things...feelings...that I don't know. Cautiously I am living the life I secretly dreamed of. A life I didn't think possible.
My heart is light while my nerves are restless. This is cause for panic, slowness of breath and general depression. It's also causing me to be sick to my stomach, to have little or no appetite. Heartsick is what Hatori likes to call it. Not like a cold, it comes and goes with my moods.
"Hatori-san, why do you frown so? I am not truly ill."
"You seemed so happy yesterday Akito-san. What is the matter?"
I know the answer, but I cannot tell him aloud. That would be weak. I am not weak.
"Akito-san, you need to pull yourself out of this slump. Perhaps another trip to the beach house."
"No, Kureno. I'm fine."
But I'm not fine.
Lately it's been more frequent.
And many in the household are concerned.
~TO BE CONTINUED~
DISCLAIMER:
Fruits Basket is owned by Natsuki Takaya/HAKUSENSHA - TV TOKYO - NAS - Fruba Project and licensed by FUNimation Productions, Ltd (for distribution in the USA). They own furuba. THEM! Not me! *sigh* All characters are used here without permission. Please do not sue. I have no money, although I would be happy to give away my bills. ^_^