Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ What's in a Name? ❯ What's in a Name? ( Chapter 1 )

Author's Note: This was a little something about Yuki that I have wanted to explore for awhile now. It ended up taking a little different direction than I had planned, but I think it turned out well. Let me know what you think!

 

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.

 

 

What's in a Name?

 

 

Yuki leaned casually against the barrier dividing the sidewalk from the road outside of Tohru's work. He smiled to himself as he imagined her surprised face when she saw him waiting for her that night. He had been too busy with student council work in the last few months to pick her up from work and he had felt bad about it, though she had said she understood and told him not to worry about it. But still, he felt guilty for not spending more time with her. He feared that it was forming a small rift between them, and that was a thought that he could not stand to be true.

 

Shortly after eleven, Tohru came out the front doors and stopped in surprise.

 

“Yuki-kun?”

 

Yuki looked up and smiled.

 

“Hello, Honda-san,” he greeted.

 

Tohru walked up to him slowly.

 

“You're not taking time out of your student council work to come pick me up, are you Yuki-kun? I wouldn't want you to do that! I can walk-”

 

Yuki pressed a finger to her lips, immediately quieting the babbling girl.

 

“Don't worry, Honda-san. I didn't have much to do tonight, so I thought it would be a good chance to walk you home from work. I haven't done so in a long time and I missed it.”

 

Tohru flushed slightly and Yuki's smile widened ever so slightly. She was really cute when she felt embarrassed, which was actually fairly often. Yuki proffered his hand.

 

“Shall we head home then?” he asked.

 

Tohru blinked before nodding and taking his hand. Yuki felt a slight tingle as her hand fell into his. He couldn't help but feel this way around her. She was such a positive and healing presence. It was amazing what she had done for him. In the year and a half that she had been living with him, they had become quite close and Yuki finally felt like he was beginning to be able to fight some of his inner demons because of her comforting and supportive presence.

 

Yuki chanced a glance over at the girl in question and smiled. She probably didn't even realize how far she had helped him to come in his life since she had started living with him.

 

“Yuki-kun,” Tohru began after a moment.

 

Yuki looked over at her. “Yes?”

 

“Do you like student council?” she asked.

 

Yuki blinked, surprised at the question.

 

“I'm not sure,” he replied honestly.

 

She looked over at him. “You're not sure?”

 

Yuki shrugged. “There are times that I wish I hadn't decided to go through with it. The members can be exasperating; actually they are most of the time, and it seems like we get very little done.”

 

“But?” Tohru prodded.

 

“It was something I needed to do for myself. Kisa helped showed me that. It's helping me to grow as a person. So when I think about it like that, yes, I am glad I did it,” Yuki replied with a shrug.

 

Tohru grinned. “I'm glad, Yuki-kun. I'm glad it's helping you. And I'm glad that you were able to come and pick me up tonight. I know it's selfish of me, but I've missed you picking me up too.”

 

Yuki felt his stomach flutter slightly at this. He smiled and the two fell into a comfortable silence as they continued on the familiar route home.

 

Every so often, Yuki would sneak a glance over at Tohru and suppress a sigh. He could still remember the day that she had called him by his first name for the first time. He had been sure that Haru had put her up to doing it, but he was glad he had. He remembered that the combination of his asthma attack and the surprise of her using his name had caused him to transform; Haru hadn't let him live it down for several weeks.

 

But Yuki hadn't minded. He truly had been very happy she had used his first name. It showed that their relationship was getting closer. But for some reason, Yuki hadn't been able to bring himself to call her by her first name, even though they had been living together for over a year and were more than familiar enough to be on first-name terms.

 

Haru had brought the matter up several times and Yuki had blown him off, too embarrassed to talk about it. Somewhere deep down, his mind was telling him to keep a distance between himself and Tohru. It would be safer for her that way, he told himself. That was how he tried to justify it to himself on many occasions.

 

He knew that Akito already had it out for Tohru after she had become so close with the Jyuunishi, especially after the episode at the summer house earlier in the year. He still didn't know what had been said in that confrontation, but he was sure it wasn't anything good, especially since Tohru had come out of it with a nasty scratch on her cheek. Yuki knew from personal experience that Akito's nails were razor sharp.

 

In fact, the rat still felt guilty about not going out himself to stop Akito from hurting Tohru further. Instead, he had watched from a window with Kyo and Haru, helplessly concerned. Maybe that had something to do with his discomfort with using her name. He wasn't worthy of using it.

 

But Yuki knew that Akito did not like Tohru and any excuse he could find to do something to her he would definitely take. And the fact that Akito liked to keep Yuki close in body and spirit - something that Yuki was slowly trying to break away from, no matter how much Akito frightened him - meant that anyone coming between the God of the Zodiac and his precious rat would be in danger of the God's wrath. Akito was stronger than he appeared, both physically and mentally. When he wanted to be, he could be stronger than any beast. That was something Yuki knew quite well.

 

It was for that reason that Yuki reasoned with himself that using Tohru's last name would keep Akito from suspecting a close relationship between the two, and hopefully spare her from his wrath.

 

Or at least that's what he liked to tell himself. That was how he justified it to himself.

 

No, in reality he was just being a coward not to call her by her name.

 

He looked over at her again and she looked back with a grin. He smiled in return, that familiar pang in his stomach returning.

 

No, he just wasn't worthy of being close to someone so wonderful. Tohru was like an angel and Yuki was a demon. He didn't belong in her presence. He had been raised to believe that he wasn't worthy; that he was boring and nothing. He had never been able to like himself. But when he was with Tohru, he felt like he might be worth something after all. She made him feel wanted. With her, he was able to feel like he might be able to like himself after all. But no, she was the angel and he was the demon. The two never belonged together. He wasn't worthy of using her name; her beautiful angelic name.

 

And he was afraid. He was afraid of becoming close. He had never had a successful close relationship with anyone before. Haru was the closest thing he had to a best friend, and they were in the same family. Since he was little, living at the Main House, he had been hurt; hurt in both physical and mental senses. He came to fear that coming close to anyone would bring back that pain and suffering from long ago.

 

He wondered if she noticed the difference in him calling her “Honda-san.” He wondered if it bothered her at all. He wondered if she wanted him to call her by her first name. And he feared how she would react if he did. He feared rejection. That was the key. He was afraid to lose such an important person in his life. He was afraid. He was a coward. He was a worm.

 

Yuki sighed, dark thoughts swimming around his mind.

 

“Yuki-kun?”

 

Yuki started when he realized Tohru had called his name. He looked over at her to see her big blue eyes full of concern.

 

“Are you alright, Yuki-kun?” she asked.

 

“I'm fine, Honda-san. I was just thinking.” He mentally winced. There it was again; the rift in full force.

 

“Are you sure? You look a little… pale.”

 

Trust Tohru to worry about him when she still had plenty on her own plate to worry about.

 

“I'm alright. I'm not getting sick or anything. I just have a lot on my mind right now,” he told her, hoping to calm her down. He especially didn't want her to realize that he had been thinking about her.

 

Tohru bit her lip.

 

Yuki stopped walking and took Tohru's hand in both of his.

 

“Thank you for worrying about me, Honda-san. It means more to me than you may ever know. Really. But I'm fine. I just have some things I need to work through. I just hope you'll be there as I do,” he said. His eyes widened when he realized the last part had come out loud. He hadn't meant to say that to her.

 

Tohru's eyes had widened slightly, but she smiled.

 

“Of course I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere, Yuki-kun. I'll always be here when you need me. If you need someone to talk to, I'm always willing to listen. I'm just flattered that you're willing to share things with me. It fills my heart,” she said earnestly.

 

Yuki could only smile. She was amazing. She really was an angel. An angel concerned about a demon. He just couldn't understand it.

 

“Thank you.”

 

The rest of the walk home passed uneventfully. They reached the house, to find Kyo sitting on the roof. When the two came into view, Kyo rose and walked down the ladder, back into the house. Yuki snorted.

 

“Dumb cat.” He didn't trust Yuki to bring Tohru home safe, which Yuki took as a personal insult, though both cat and rat dished them out to each other on a daily basis. But this one was insult that Yuki took personally.

 

“We're home,” Tohru called, stepping inside the front door. She slipped her shoes off and headed straight for the kitchen.

 

Yuki smiled as he took off his own shoes. She really was incredible. He headed for the kitchen and stuck his head in.

 

“I'll be in my room. I have a little more work to do,” he told Tohru.

 

She looked over at him. “Alright. Do well, Yuki-kun!”

 

“Thanks,” he said before heading for his room.

 

Sliding the door of his room shut behind him, Yuki flopped down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling.

 

“Why don't you call her by her first name?”

 

Haru's words popped unbidden into Yuki's mind. The rat tried to shake the thought off, rolling over onto his stomach and stuffing his face into his pillow. But he just couldn't shake it. He rolled back onto his back.

 

“Because… I can't,” he whispered.

 

Yuki started when a knock sounded on his door. Frowning, he rose and slid the door open. He blinked when he saw Tohru on the other side of the door.

 

“Honda-san…”

 

“Yuki-kun…” she began.

 

“Is everything alright?” Yuki asked at her indecision.

 

“Oh yes! Everything is fine!” she replied hastily. “It's just…”

 

“What?”

 

“I'm worried about you.”

 

“You are?” This surprised Yuki.

 

“Well, I guess, it's more that I miss you,” she said, eyes lowered.

 

Yuki cupped his hand under her chin and raised her face to loon into his own. She was blushing. Yuki couldn't help but feel a slight warmth to his own cheeks at the sight.

 

“I miss you too, Honda-san,” he said softly. “I miss picking you up from work and eating all our meals together. I miss helping you with your homework and spending time with you at the secret base.”

 

“You do?” she asked, seeming to be genuinely surprised.

 

Yuki blinked. Was that so hard to believe? “Of course.”

 

She smiled in relief. “I… I'm glad. I was… I was a little worried that maybe you didn't…”

 

“Why would you think that?”

 

“You just spend so much more time with your student council friends now,” Tohru said, blushing suddenly when she realized what she had just said. “Oh, that was such a selfish thing to say. I'm sorry, Yuki-kun! It's really none of my business.”

 

Yuki laughed and Tohru paused.

 

“Yuki-kun?”

 

“I just have a lot of things I need to do with student council,” Yuki replied through his chuckle. “It's not that I prefer their company to yours, Honda-san. I really wish we could spend more time together. The time on the class trip was very nice. I was glad we could spend so much of it together.”

 

Tohru beamed. “I'm glad, Yuki-kun.”

 

Hesitantly, she leaned up on her tip-toes and pecked Yuki on the cheek.

 

“Good night, Yuki-kun.”

 

“Good night,” Yuki said automatically, mind going suddenly blank. He reeled at what she had just done. She had just kissed him. Had she really just done that? She had.

 

Yuki watched as Tohru walked down the hall.

 

“Good night, Tohru-san” he whispered.

 

 

The End