Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ A Love Forgotten ❯ Hidden Feelings ( Chapter 12 )

A Love Forgotten

By Joyfulmusic

 

I don't own FMA

Note: May contain spoilers!

 

Chapter 12: Hidden Feelings

 

Another week had passed. Although they were living under the same roof, the couple stayed in separate rooms. Ed seemed to fear and yearn for that which he'd felt when first regaining his memory. While it had been suggested that they simply share a bed, he hadn't gone for it.

 

`I'm not Jacob. What if I do something wrong?' He'd seen it in her blue green eyes many times. As he braided back his hair one day when he'd left the bathroom door open, he caught a glimpse of her in the mirror. She held a twinge of pain that she tried to hide. It was another reminder of who he was not.

 

Edward was different in many other ways as well. When he kissed her, other than that time in the park, it was hesitant. That left her wondering about his true motive for staying with her at all. His touches were the same. Never quite sure of what was right; he was reluctant to do anything.

 

While he told her he loved her many times a day, it wasn't followed through by his actions. His way of looking at her, the way he smiled at her. Fear always lined them. “I don't mean to seem cold.” He told Al as they sat in the living room while she was out. “But what if I'm not good enough? I'm worried.”

 

Shaking his head, the younger sibling tried to understand. “Brother, she doesn't expect you to be perfect. All she wants is for you to be the best husband you can be. That doesn't mean you have to get everything right. She'll understand. Maybe you should try talking to her instead of me.”

 

No, that wasn't what the alchemist wanted. Burying his face in his hands he let out along sigh. “I'm not Jacob. I thought I could pull it off but maybe I can't. And on top of that I'm going to be a dad soon. How am I supposed to handle all this and the stone?” Lifting his head quickly he realized how that sounded. “I'm sorry Al. It's not that I want to give up our search it's just that…”

 

Laying a gauntlet on his shoulder Alphonse bade him quite. “It's just that you're stressed out right now. Don't worry about it. I'm sure things will work out just fine. We can wait for her to have the baby and get settled in. Then we can start the quest again. It doesn't have to be done immediately brother.”

 

`Oh it doesn't?' Two eyes were watching the display through the window with a wicked grin. `But it does. Or things won't be like I want them.' Glancing down to the street below he saw two girls coming along the sidewalk, hands full of grocery bags. Winry had come into town a few days before and so the two were chatting away like old friends.

 

“I don't know what to do about him. He's avoiding me like the plague.” Briana was blowing things out of proportion but she didn't care. “Every time we kiss it's like when he's drinking milk.” She smiled slightly. “You know what though, Jacob was the same way. He hated the stuff.”

 

Shifting the bags she was carrying the mechanic frowned. “But what's all this about his not wanting to be around you? That can't be true. He loves you.” She was sorry to see that the expression on the other woman's face didn't agree with her statement. “He tells you he does.”

 

Scowling, Brie tried to find a way to explain. “Oh sure he says that he does. But it's just not there. Not in his eyes, not in his tone. It's the exact opposite from what it was. Before he told me he didn't know me but his looks and actions told a total different story. I'm starting to wish I had that guy back.”

 

Winry really didn't know what to say. It seemed as though things weren't working out like they'd hoped. “Then why do you think he's staying with you? Why not just walk off like before?” The silence she received told her that she wasn't going to get a truthful answer. “What is it? Why won't you tell me?” Again, no answer. “You're exactly like those two guys up there. You won't tell me anything of importance!”

 

Shaking her head made her curls bounce. “I'm not saying until I find out if it's true or not.” Glancing at her friend she tried to keep her from getting too upset. “If he finds out then he'll refute it. Or for that matter if you know then you'll do the same. I've got to find out on my own. I've got to be sure.”

 

By that time they'd reached the door to the apartment. “Don't say anything.” She pleaded, just before they entered. She put on a smile, and had to work to hold it there when she saw the depressed state that Ed was in. “Are you alright?” For Jacob she would have added the word darling, but this was not the same man.

 

Lifting his head he tried to grin like usual. “Sure, I'm fine.” When had he lost his lying ability? It had been so easy before. But when it came to Briana, he just couldn't manage it. Standing, he made his way to the kitchen to help unload the food. Noting the tension in the air he looped his automail arm around her waist, giving it a tight squeeze.

 

She relaxed slightly, although not by much. “I bought the stuff to make tacos. I thought maybe it would make a nice change.” He scowled, picking up the corn tortillas with his right hand to read the package. “What's wrong now? I thought you might like them.” Her heart had faltered once more. `Jacob loved them.'

 

“It's just that…” Ed was still looking at the ingredients she'd laid out. “I don't think I've ever tried them before.” When he did glance at her he realized his mistake. “Don't worry about it. I'm sure they're wonderful. So long as it's you who's cooking them and not Winry.”

 

A wrench came flying at his head. He ducked only to have it bounce off of the cabinet and back at him. “I'm not a bad cook!” The mechanic screamed at him. Folding her arms together, she left the couple to finish the job. Actually she just wanted to get out of there. They needed to be alone.

 

A giggle seemed to lighten the mood considerably. “Don't worry, she doesn't know how to make them either.” Briana seemed to ease a bit more. `He is trying. He just doesn't know how.' Taking the tortillas from him she placed her other hand in his. “I'm sorry I'm so hard to deal with.”

 

Something flashed in his golden eyes, regret perhaps. “You're not. I'm the one who's being difficult.” Pulling her into a kiss, he tried to regain the passion from before. But it was something he couldn't seem to capture. Breaking way he held her close. “I'm so sorry Brie. So sorry…”

 

Leaning into his chest she felt safe. This wasn't what she'd held with Jake, but it was in him somewhere. The love was there, buried by years of heartache he'd endured. His effort was enough to strengthen her. “You don't have anything to apologize for Edward.” A tear slowly streamed down her face that did not go unnoticed.

 

“You're crying.” Lifting her chin, he frowned. `What have I done now? Why can't I make it right?' To him it seemed that he hurt everyone he cared about. If he'd been a better alchemist their mother would have been brought back, and Al would have never been lost at all.

 

But to his surprise, she smiled. “I'm just so happy.” Before settling back into his shoulder she placed another kiss on his lips. It didn't set off any fireworks, but rather made the dying embers of their love glow a little brighter. Perhaps what they had could still be saved.

 

 

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As the table was being set Edward was practicing in his head how to seem authentic when saying he liked the meal. He wasn't sure he would. This dish wasn't something that came from their part of the world. But his wife had gone to great lengths to find what she told him was a kind of bread.

 

`I think she told me that as a joke.' It didn't look or feel like bread to him. He didn't know what it should have been classified as. `I'll eat it and smile. Just remember to smile.' Lettuce, tomatoes, and other ingredients had already been set out. One of which was cheese that, being a dairy product, he wasn't fond of anyway

 

But those were all normal things. It was the beans mixed with hamburger meat that he wasn't sure of. Well other than the tortillas. Those she had fried and filled with the meat mixture. Then she'd closed them making half circles. On top of that she'd told him they wouldn't need silverware.

 

“Well I guess that's everything.” She said, placing the last glass of tea in place. Smiling she took a seat, Winry having come in behind her. “Al, aren't you coming?” She called toward the living room. While he couldn't eat, he still made it a point to sit with them during meals.

 

After the prayer, everyone watched as she placed one of the tacos on her plate. With a slight laugh she told them, “Go ahead. You put what you want in it.” Picking up the cheese she added some in atop the meat. After placing lettuce and tomatoes on it, she took a bite, holding it like a hamburger.

 

Edward observed her carefully. `What would he have put on it?' Since Jacob wouldn't have known what they were like either, he assumed his counterpart would have eaten it like she did. Fixing his own, he picked it up and looked at it. While she wasn't staring at him, he could tell Brie was waiting for his reaction.

 

Winry on the other hand, wasn't going to even try it before he did. Frowning slightly, he raised it to his mouth. `Please don't let me screw this up.' Taking a bite he began to chew slowly. As the flavor made its way along his taste buds he smiled. Swallowing, he let it settle before speaking. “This is wonderful!”

 

Briana smiled. It wasn't the fake reaction he'd been practicing earlier. She'd heard and seen him without his knowing it. Instead it was like a replay of the first time she'd served the dish to Jacob. `Their memories may not be the same but it seems that their stomachs are.”

 

By the end of the meal the alchemist had eaten ten tacos. Winry however, had forced herself to eat one before Brie told her it was alright to find something else. She'd ended up having a simple sandwich instead. Although her displeasure may have had something to do with the fact that she'd added way too much hot sauce.

 

 

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The phone rang just before they went to bed. Edward had spoken with whomever it was for only a few moments before coming back to the living room. “That was Mustang. Al, there's a rumor going around that the stone's been located. But it's in a town two days away from here by train.”

 

It was apparent from his voice that he didn't want to go and everyone knew exactly why. “It's alright.” Briana told him, coming from the back of the apartment, carrying a blanket and pillow. Their guest would be sleeping on the couch. “You two can go and check it out. I'll be fine.”

 

Shaking his head, he watched as the mechanic took the bedclothes from her. “I don't want to leave you here by yourself. Winry is leaving tomorrow for that big automail conference. You can't do major traveling with her but you shouldn't be home alone in your condition. What if something happened?” He didn't expect her to smile, or to wrap her arms around him.

 

“You sound as though I have some fatal disease. I'm not even sick, just pregnant.” She laughed as he scowled. Kissing him lightly she added. “Women have made it through this ever since time began. I'm fairly sure I'll be able to handle it. Single mothers do it all the time.”

 

Oops, wrong thing to say. “You're not a single mother.” But the expression in her eyes told him she wanted him to go. Not as a bad thing, but meaning that she didn't want to be in the way. “If you're sure.” She nodded. “No Wyatt coming to check on you?” She grimaced at him. “I don't want him here.”

 

“But...” She'd have to choose her words carefully. “But he's a good friend Edward. And he only wants to help.” That did nothing to ease the look he was giving her. `He's so overprotective.' Then a thought came to mind. “How about if I only call him in case of an emergency?”

 

Sighing heavily, the alchemist finally gave in. “Ok, but only if you really need him.” That smile made his willingness to say yes worth it. “We'll have to leave on the same train as Winry. So that means you'll be home several days by yourself. But I'll call and check up on you.”

 

Rolling her eyes, the blond frowned. The couch was already made up for sleeping in and her bags were packed for the trip home. “Ed, she is grown you know. She's not exactly sick or anything. So I'm sure she'll be just fine. She'll go to work and come home like normal.”

 

The mechanic didn't realize that was another thing he didn't approve of. With him there he didn't think Briana should have to work. It wasn't that he thought she had to stay and be a housewife, but that he didn't want her to feel that she had to make a living. She could do either, but by choice, not necessity.

 

The next morning, just as planned, the threesome boarded the train. Brie stayed to see them off before heading for the library. None of them realized that they were being watched. The observer had trailed the Elrics for several weeks now, watching the story develop. He'd taken a liking to this new girl and had his own plans for her.

 

Author's note:

I'm not sure if anyone is reading this story or not. Let me know if you are so I'll remember to update on this site! I'm posting it on another place so I tend to forget about this one, mostly because I'm not getting any reviews. When I do I get an e-mail and then it's like “Oh yeah I need to update there too!” So let me know if you're reading this!!