Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Demonic Misadventure ❯ Akugeketsu ( Chapter 1 )

Demonic Misadventure

 

Zeal: Oki-day, `bout time we got started with this story, ne?

 

Miranda: Right-o, let'sssssss gooooooo!! ^_^

 

Aku: *toddles in* Oy? Wha's goin' on `round heres? *confused*

 

Zeal: Nothing much. Miranda and me are co-writing a fic starring you, Naji and Envy from FMA.

 

Aku: Oh. *pause* Yay! ^__^

 

Envy: I OBJECT!!! >.<

 

Zeal: Huh??

 

Miranda: Say wha??

 

Envy: Is your hearing impaired?! I OBJECT!!! I refuse to work with these--these--LUNATICS!!!

 

Naji: Lunatics?!?! *vein pulsing on forehead* You have some nerve!! Demons, freakshows! Fine! BUT WE ARE NOT LUNATICS, GODDAMMIT!!!

 

Envy: *smirk* We'll see about that!

 

Miranda: So you ARE going to work with them!

 

Aku: Yay!! ^__^

 

Envy: *facefaults*

 

Aku: Is he alright?? *pokes Envy with one of her swords*

 

Envy: *grumble grumble*

 

Aku: Wha was that??

 

Envy: GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!!! *kicks sword away*

 

Aku: ;___;

 

Zeal: Oh great…

 

Naji: Bah. I wouldn't have wanted to work with a palmtree with issues anyway.

 

Envy: Why you sonova--!!!

 

*CLUNK!!*

 

Envy: GACK!! >.< *rubs lump on his head*

 

Zeal: *wielding a frying-pan* Enough of that shit! You are cooperating with Aku and Naji, or I'll send you to visit the Teletubbies, got it?!

 

Envy: O.O;; *gulp* Y-yes ma'am.

 

Aku: ^O^ YAY!!!

 

Zeal: Good. Now, off with ya!! *flings Envy into the portal to the story*

 

Envy: YAAAH!!! *is gone*

 

Miranda: Oy… ^^;;

 

DISCLAIMER: We do not own Envy from FMA, or Dante from DMC. Nor do we own the concept of "Shin Megami Tensei". Naji, Aku, and any other Demon(s) (Hunters) belong to their respective owners. (Zeal: "Which would be either me or Miranda's." Miranda: "^_^" Aku: "Yay!")

 

 

 

Chapter 1: Akugeketsu

 

"Ow… goddamnit, where the heck am I!?" Envy grumbled, rubbing his head before attempting to open his eyes…

 

And promptly came face-to-face with a set of beady red eyes.

 

"……WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" Envy screamed, leaping up and hitting his head on the ceiling and causing whatever had been above his face to shoot off. "GACK!! OUCH!!" Envy shouted as he dropped back to the ground. "Ow…" Envy close to whimpered, rubbing both his head and his rump. "Owwww… I'm gonna feel that in the morning."

 

"No shit, Sherlock," a sarcastic voice echoed through the room, causing Envy to jump up again (avoiding another meeting with the ceiling this time).

 

"Who's there?!!?" Envy shouted out. No response for some minutes, before Envy blinked. "Wait a bloody minute!! Who's this Sherlock?!"

 

"…Not you, or you would've run," came the same voice, before something stepped out of the shadows ahead.

 

It was about the size of a lion, and at first, it could be considered a Chimera, but at second-glance that wasn't the case. Its face was a pale yellow, fire-red and dark blue, shaped like that of a Chinese dragon with a lion's mane. The front legs were almost like those of a massive cat-creature, but the claws were way too big. Its tail was long and ended in a sharp claw, whooshing around in the air behind it.

 

Envy stared at the creature in slight surprise, before bursting out: "What the hell are you?!"

 

The creature grinned ferally, exposing the 5 inch long fangs in its large maw. "Alive… more than can be said of you!!!" it roared, before leaping for the green-haired Homonculus.

 

With a yowl, Envy quickly dived underneath the monster, scampering away, and only barely missed getting hit by the creature's tail. Turning about to face the Homonculus as he made to run, it called out: "You run fast for a human… Too bad you're not fast enough!!"

 

Before Envy could turn his head even a fraction, the weight of the creature forced him down to the ground, knocking the air out of him. "Oof! What the?! HUMAN?!?! ARE YOU INSULTING ME?!?!"

 

The creature wasn't listening any longer and dug its fangs into the boy's shoulder, drawing a loud scream from said Homonculus. He tried to thrash about, to try and get away from being eaten up by some animal variant of Gluttony, as the animal's saliva burned on his skin, and almost burned it right off. At least, that was how it felt.

 

"Hey!!" shouted a girl's voice, and for a moment, the burning paused, then disappeared altogether, making Envy sigh in relief. "No fair! Ye're hoggin' all the humans in here! I haven't had a single un!!" Envy could almost hear the girl pouting, as he lay there, trying to regain his breath from screaming so loud a few seconds ago.

 

`Esh! Had I screamed any longer I would've snapped my vocal cords!' he thought in slight agitation.

 

"Buzz of, child. You are still not ready to feed on humans."

 

"Am so!!"

 

"You are not."

 

"I am so!!"

 

"Not."

 

"Am!"

 

"Not."

 

"Am!"

 

"Not."

 

"Am!"

 

"Not."

 

"Am!"

 

"Not."

 

"…not!"

 

"Am."

 

Pause, and then there came a cheery: "Yay!!" followed by…

 

"……WAIT A MINUTE!!!" the creature bellowed. "You tricked me!!"

 

A giggle echoed around, which was followed by the sound of a raspberry. "Yeah, so? Not everythin' revolves `round strength, ya know?"

 

Silence, before the creature chuckled. "Very well then…"

 

The weight was lifted of his back, but before Envy could attempt to get up, he was knocked through the air, landing flat on his face with a loud "OUCH!!"

 

Suddenly there was a strong pull on his hair, making him look into the face of what he had assumed to have been an innocent (though man-eating) girl, but was horrified when he looked straight into a set of demonic amethyst eyes much like his own, slitted pupils and everything. "Hiya!" came the cheery voice from the face in front of him. "I'll be yer eatin' partner for the night! Pleasure meetin' ya!"

 

Envy blinked before frowning darkly, but before he could open his yap, he got hit to the back of his head.

 

After that, there was only darkness…

 

"You did WHAT?!?! Are you out of your mind?!" a voice echoed through the haze in his head.

 

"Meeehh… I couldn't let tha guy eat `em… coul' I??" came the voice of the girl he'd heard earlier.

 

Silence followed, before he heard the first voice sigh heavily. "Fine… but keep him here. You got lucky last time. You might not have as much luck the next time you run into a different Demon."

 

`…Demon????'

 

"Oki-day!! …Wait… where're ye goin'??"

 

"…I need to see Dante."

 

`DANTE?!?! WHAT THE HECK?!'

 

"Dante…? Whadya wan' with tha man? I thought he was a `Demon Hunter'. Right?"

 

Silence for a minute, before: "True… he's a Demon Hunter, but he owes me one. So, I'll be back later."

 

"Alrighty!" Envy could hear the girl's smile at that point, before he heard someone walk off.

 

Silence followed for a long moment, and Envy opted to just lay still --- until he yelped and choked for breath when something smashed onto his chest. "WAKE UUUUUUUUP!!!"

 

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!??! GET OFF!!!" Envy shouted as he glared at the girl sitting atop his chest.

 

A bright smile crossed her face, showing off her sharp fangs. "Goody! Ye're up!!" she chirped, causing Envy to blink at her oddly. Now that he had a good look at her, he came to a startling realization that she wasn't human, but she wasn't a Homonculus either…

 

True, she had the eyes of one, but the rest of her couldn't rightfully be called human any longer. Her skin was a dark gray, close to black, and her hair was smooth and around neck-length, but it was like someone had chucked a bucket of blood over it. What little clothes she wore were torn and shredded, and a dirty gray color, having obviously been white at some point.

 

"Ya sleep like a rock, yanno? So who're ya anywho? I figured all ye humans knew by now not ta go ta the hospital." And there she paused, as if waiting for a response, still grinning crazily. After a few seconds of silence, she blinked and leaned over so that she was almost nose-to-nose with him. "Ya still in there? I didn't jump tha hard on ya, did I? Or did I scare yer soul away?"

 

Envy looked at the girl for a minute longer, before glaring and promptly shoving her off him, shouting: "I said OFF!!!"

 

"Yaah!!" the girl cried, landing on her bum. "Owie…" she whimpered, before looking up to Envy as he stood up. "I didn't know humans these days were so touchy…"

 

The green-haired Homonculus growled in fury, before stomping toward her and grabbing the front of her torn shirt, lifting her up to eye-level. "Listen you little brat! You call me human one more time and I'll---"

 

"Oy! Pumme down before I rip yer stomach open!!" the girl screamed, stopping Envy's threat short. Following her threat however, were a set of knives scraping over his bare stomach. But as he looked, he nearly dropped his jaw to the floor when he realized the girl had simply brought up her foot and was currently holding it against his stomach.

 

Well… `foot'… `claw' would be more like it.

 

She had four large talons on the front of her foot, and another, smaller one on the side of her heel.

 

He looked up to her and finally demanded: "What the HECK are you?!"

 

The girl just grinned and said: "Well duh! I'm a Demon! Go figure!"

 

"…De…mon…??"

 

"…Where've you been?! Under a rock!?"

 

Envy finally shook it off and hissed: "Never mind that! Where's the old hag?!"

 

The girl blinked. "Old hag??"

 

"Dante!! Where is she?!"

 

The look that the girl was giving him was priceless, before she burst out laughing, kicking her feet around while doing so. Envy had to watch out that she didn't hit him with those claws of hers. "Hihihihihihi… Dante's not gonna like ya callin' `im an `ol' hag', yanno? He's barely in his thirties."

 

Envy gave the girl a very surprised look, before repeating: "…`He'????"

 

"Yup-yup!" she chirped happily. "Dante's the best Demon-Hunter `round! He's killed more Demons than anyun else! …before dey croaked."

 

For a long time, Envy could only stare at the girl he was still holding up, trying to gather his thoughts and figure out what was going on. He had no idea where this was, but he already didn't like the place. All the more with that overactive… Demon girl…

 

"Hey uh…" came the girl's voice suddenly, as she poked his arm a bit with one of her razor-sharp fingers. "If it ain't too much trouble… COULD YA PUMME DOWN NOW?!?!"

 

Envy looked at her oddly, then shrugged and dropped her. However, instead of landing on her bum, she managed to get her feet beneath her just in time to catch her fall. Straightening up and dusting herself off, she grinned brightly, before chirping: "Oki-day! … I still didn't get yer name."

 

Looking at her for a moment, Envy finally grinned and said: "Well… that depends. I can be whoever you want."

 

The girl blinked, then mumbled: "Ya almost sound like Naji… tha's wha he… she… whaever!!… always says when flirtin' with otha Demons…"

 

"Naji??" Envy asked curiously.

 

"Yeah. I ain't too sure if he's… she's… gack!! If Naji's a guy or a gall, act'ally."

 

"Yep. That sounds like me alright…" Envy mumbled under his breath.

 

"Neeeeee… so… wha's should I call ya?"

 

"……" Envy just gave her a look, but didn't bother to answer.

 

The girl blinked, then asked cheerily: "Sowwy, didn't get that."

 

"Well what's your name then?!" Envy countered.

 

The girl blinked, a bit taken back, before she grinned and said: "Akugeketsu!"

 

"Age-ku-wha-su??"

 

"D'oh!! Jus' call me `Aku'! Everybody does!"

 

"O…kay…"

 

"So? Wha're ya called?"

 

Sighing heavily, the Homonculus figured he'd never get away until he answered, so, reluctantly, he replied with: "Envy."

 

Aku grinned brightly, before she said: "Oki-day!! Pleasure to---!!" but stopped halfway and spun around violently. Blinking, Envy looked over her head, and paled at what he saw.

 

Straight ahead of them, was a group of purple clouds. Normally, this wouldn't have worried Envy, but what did, was the fact that those clouds had faces that glared at them and bared their ethereal fangs at them.

 

"Meeeeh!" Aku whined. "I hate those Willo-wisps… Oh well…"

 

Running a bit ahead, she grabbed onto two handles that had been lying around on the ground, before straightening up. This time, Envy was sure his jaw did hit the ground when Aku brought up two massive steel blades which were both about 12 inches wide and almost 4'5'' feet long, about Aku's height, slinging one over her shoulder and letting the other rest on the ground. He knew he would never be able to even move those even an inch!

 

"Pity ya bump inta me!" Aku chirped, displaying her fangs again, claws digging in the ground.

 

At about that time, Envy realized she didn't seem to have a good sense of balance, as her knees were touching and her claws aimed at each other. Whether she did that on purpose or not, he couldn't really tell.

 

One of the `Willo-wisps', as Aku had called them, screeched in anger as a dark energy circled around it, before diving straight at her. Aku just kept grinning, before she lashed out and sliced the cloud apart with a single hit from her blade. Taking a flying leap, the girl flipped through the air and sliced through the remaining wisps.

 

Envy was about nailed to the ground as he watched the girl take out the wisps like they were nothing. "…whoa," he mouthed silently.

 

"Look out behind ya!!" Aku suddenly screamed, whirling around and leaping into the air -- straight toward Envy.

 

"YAAH!!" Envy yowled, quickly ducking to the ground with both hands on his head. However, Aku sailed right over him and sliced through the wisps that had snuck up on them. Envy blinked when he peeked at the scene.

 

"Yay!" Aku grinned childishly, before walking over to him. "I was gonna jump over ya, yanno?"

 

"………" Envy just looked at her blankly, before he hissed: "Mind your own business. I can save myself just fine!"

 

"Tha ain't how I see it. Tha was the second time I saved yer human hide."

 

"STOP CALLING ME A GODDAMN HUMAN ALREADY!!" Envy bellowed, leaping to his feet. "I'M A FRIGGIN' HOMONCULUS ALRIGHT!?!?"

 

Aku blinked curiously, grin faltering for a bit. "Wha's a Homo-culis???" she asked.

 

*WHUMP*

 

Envy promptly hit the ground.

 

 

 

-OWARI

 

 

 

Envy: WHAT!??!

 

Zeal: Hehehe.

 

Envy: What are you laughing at?!

 

Miranda: Oh I know I know! At you at you at you! ^-^

 

Envy: -.-;;

 

Aku: Yay!! I'm in the first chappie!! ^_^

 

Envy: *dryly and waving a small flag* Hurray…

 

Naji: …So who was the guy leaving Aku?

 

Envy: You, numbskull!!!

 

Zeal: Actually, no.

 

Envy: O.o??

 

Zeal: *smirks* Not telling.

 

Miranda: ;P

 

Envy: Why you little--! I'm gonna--!!

 

Miranda: AAAH!! *runs away with Envy on her heels*

 

Zeal: ……

 

Naji: ……

 

Aku: Yay! ^^ Tha's all folks!! ^_^