Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Demonic Misadventure ❯ Najito Akumu ( Chapter 2 )

Envy: You said it was finished, you dim-witted, half-sighted---

 

Zeal: If you had paid attention, you would've noticed I wrote “Chapter 1”, which is a clear indication that there'll be more to follow.

 

Envy: -.-;;;

 

Miranda: Awwww. Greenie wasn't paying attention. XD

 

Envy: GREENIE?!!? WHAT THE HECK?!!?

 

Naji: I believe she's referring to your sin. Green happens to be the color of envy/jealousy.

 

Aku: Or she's sayin' he's all pale `n' sick! ^_^

 

Envy: WHAT?!?! WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET THIS CRAP?!?!

 

Zeal & Miranda: Internet.

 

Envy: Well I say it ain't true! It stinks!! *gets hit in the face with a dead fish* BWACK!!

 

Miranda: You come over here and say that to my face!!

 

Envy: My pleasure!! Here I come!! *stalks over to Miranda “rolling up his sleeves”* I'll fucking shout in your ears if I gotta!!! It STINKS!!!!

 

Miranda: CHAAAAARGE!!! *whacks Envy to the head with another dead fish*

 

Envy: GACK!! THIS MEANS WAR!!! *grabs his own dead fish and starts whacking Miranda*

 

*fight ensues*

 

Naji: …… Uhh…

 

Brunette: *walks in* Huh? HEY!! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE HAVING A PARTY!?! *hops into the fight*

 

Zeal: Geez… that guy…

 

Aku: … We's startin' now?

 

Zeal: Yes. You go ahead, I'm sending Envy right after you.

 

Aku: YAY!!! ^___^ *steps into the portal to the fic*

 

Zeal: Naji, you too.

 

Naji: Alright. *steps into the portal*

 

Zeal: *tries to whistle with her left hand* … WHAT AM I DOING?! *whistles with her right hand* Oy! Uno!! Send Envy to the fic!!

 

Brunette: *peeks out of the dust-cloud* Aw man, now?

 

Zeal: … Yes. Now would be a good time. *hands over her frying-pan*

 

Brunette: Arigato! *vanishes in the dustcloud of the fight*

 

WHAP!!!

 

Envy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! *flies through the portal*

 

SPLAT!!

 

Envy: …Crap!

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2: Najito Akumu

 

“Hey, are ya sleepin' `gain?!” came Aku's childish voice, followed by several sharp pokes from one of her swords.

 

“OWCH!! Hey!! Stop it!!” Envy shouted.

 

Aku blinked, before yanking Envy up by his hair (not without protest). “Ya up then?”

 

“Yaah!! Don't touch the hair, goddammit!!” Envy screamed, lashing out Aku -- only to find himself yanked up by something wrapped around his neck.

 

“Oh! Hiya Naji-kun!!” Aku chirped. Blinking a bit, Envy turned his head a bit to look behind him --- and his jaw almost hit the ground.

 

Standing behind him was a giant of a Demon that towered a good two feet over him. Or would have, had Envy been standing on the ground.

 

The guy had stark white hair, with streaks of silver coursing through it. His bangs were immensely long and the locks seemed incredibly sharp, like a set of razors. The rest of his hair was tied up in a tight ponytail atop his head. Peeking out from behind his hair, were a set of spiked ears, which perked at every single sound heard in the nearby vicinity.

 

His entire body was a dark black, but it was adorned with piercing purple markings that criss-crossed over his entire form, accented by thin lines of silver. What stood out most however, were his eyes; which were a piercing red, completely void of anything, surrounded by bright silver at the edges.

 

Slung over his shoulder was a massive staff, but after a few seconds, Envy realized it wasn't a staff, but a scythe, the blade nearly as big as he was.

 

The guy glared Envy down for a minute or two, before promptly chucking him aside… face-first into the wall of a nearby building. “D'OH!!!”

 

“Neeeeee!! Wha was tha for?!!?” Aku whined as Envy slid down the wall.

 

“He's annoying…” the other guy mumbled.

 

Envy grumbled as he got up, rubbing his painfully throbbing nose. “Speak fer yerself!” Envy hissed out, his voice slightly deformed because of the hand on his nose.

 

The dark-skinned guy looked at Envy for a bit, before he sighed, shutting his eyes. “Ch. Women…” he muttered.

 

Envy tensed, just before he screamed: “WHO'RE YOU CALLING A GENDER-CONFUSED CROSS-DRESSING PALMTREE?!?!?!” while nearly strangling the guy to death --- had the guy's tail not snuck up on him and snatched him by his neck again.

 

“I NEVER SAID THAT!! SO BACK OFF!!” the guy bellowed, his fangs becoming visible as he did.

 

“Naji-kuuuuuuuuun!! Put Envy down!! …pwease?” Aku asked meekly.

 

The guy, obviously called “Naji”, looked over to Aku, before glaring at Envy, who was busy examining the emblem on the guy's forehead. It looked somewhat like a bird with a diamond hovering over it. Naji finally shut his eyes and dropped Envy on his bum. “OUCH!!”

 

Envy was about to lash out, when he realized something else. For starters… “You have a tail??”

 

Naji snorted, adjusting the grip on his scythe. “So? You have stupid, green palmtree hair and you don't hear me complaining about that, do ya?”

 

Envy was steaming at that comment, as Aku giggled a bit, though it sounded a bit tense, trying to calm Envy down slightly. “Nee… Naji-kun, this is Envy. Envy, this is Naji-kun.”

 

“Hn. Pleasure,” Naji said simply.

 

Envy growled and hissed: “Pleasure's mutual.”

 

Naji snorted and reached up with one hand to move his bangs out of his eyes, and Envy nearly choked when he saw the four 8-inch long claws on Naji's hands. Naji looked at Envy for a long time, before he opened his mouth.

 

“Aku, I know you like strange pets, but what possessed you to get a pet-human?”

 

Envy growled as he leapt up and shouted: “WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!!? I'M A HOMONCULUS, GODDAMMIT!!”

 

“…Homo-cue-what??” Naji asked, blinking.

 

“Nuh-uh! Homo-culis!!” Aku said happily.

 

Envy smacked his hand to his face in exasperation. Dragging it down his face, he grumbled: “I'm getting too old for this shit…”

 

Aku and Naji looked toward Envy curiously, and Aku spoke up first. “Speakin'-a which, how old're ya?”

 

“Uhhh… I'm… uh… ei-eighteen! Yeah, I'm 18!” Envy said with a small grin.

 

Aku frowned a bit, and mumbled: “Tha's not old! Naji-kun's older!”

 

Envy looked a bit skeptic, before he asked: “How old?”

 

“12.198 in a month,” Naji responded simply, twirling his scythe between his fingers.

 

The look on Envy's face was priceless. Naji had to be at least over 30 times older than he was, if the guy wasn't lying, of course. Envy sure had been.

 

“WAAAAH!!!” Aku suddenly screamed, making Envy jump (luckily, they were outside this time). “I's forgot! I promised ta go huntin'!!” she screeched, before she turned around and ran. “Naji-kun!! Please make sure Envy dun get killed, `kay!? Thanks!!”

 

“WHAT?!?!” both Naji and Envy screamed at the same time, before glaring at each other and snarling like a pair of wolves. Naji narrowed his eyes, before snorting and turning away. Envy snorted as well, before he noticed something else.

 

Naji's feet were, just like Aku's, more like a set of claws, only he had four talons, including the one on his heel. That wasn't what was the most startling though; his shins were much longer than normal (probably the reason for his height)… and the knees were positioned in the opposite direction, which caused him to shudder.

 

“Did you notice your knees are bent the wrong way?” he questioned.

 

Naji gave him a look, then looked down to his legs, lifting his right leg and bending it a little, much to Envy's disgust. Putting his leg back down, Naji smirked and retorted: “Yes, I did.”

 

Envy shuddered again, before he hissed: “It's disgusting!”

 

The white-haired Demon just shrugged. “I'm not complaining about you, now am I?”

 

“SHUT UP!!!”

 

 

 

The silence shrouding the two was very uncomfortable. At least, to Envy it was, as Naji was simply polishing the blade of his scythe, clearly not the least bit bothered. While Naji was working on his blade, Envy took a few moments to look around, trying to determine where they were exactly.

 

Which wasn't as easy, as there weren't that many landmarks around. At least, none that were still standing. There were many buildings scattered around everywhere, but each and everyone of them had been torn to the ground, and it took a lot of trouble to try and figure out what they had been at some point. The strangest part was the fact that the sun was out, but the sky was as dark as if it were night.

 

Envy grumbled a bit and started pacing. The two had been arguing for a while after Aku had left, until they'd attracted the attention of several Demons, which Naji had taken care of quickly. So now, they were completely silent and waiting for Aku to return. However, Envy couldn't stand the silence, so he opened his yap.

 

“What kind of a name is `Naji' anyway?!”

 

“Oh I don't know. What kind of a name is `Envy'?”

 

Envy growled and turned to Naji. “Are you looking for trouble?!”

 

Naji smirked and commented: “We already found you, didn't we?” Envy growled angrily, but before he could retort… “You're not really 18, ne?”

 

“WHA??!! How did you?!?!”

 

“I can spot a lie a mile away. Learned from the best.”

 

Envy glared, before he smirked. “Well, I learned lying from the best!”

 

Naji snorted and responded: “Wouldn't advice lying against Dante.”

 

“Dante's just a fucking stupid old hag!! Makes me wonder how it's possible that she's my mother…” Only too late did Envy realize what he said and promptly slapped his hands over his mouth in horror, as Naji stared at him as if he was crazy.

 

For a long moment, Naji did absolutely nothing, before he burst out laughing; a cold, heartless laugh that didn't sound the least bit human. Sure, Envy wasn't human, but his laugh still sounded human enough. Naji's laughter sounded like that of some sort of crazed animal.

 

“Heheheh… I don't know how you got that crazy idea, but I can assure you, Dante is a guy, and I do not think it's possible for a man to be someone's `mother'.”

 

Envy laughed a bit sheepishly and said quickly: “Eheheh, i-it was a joke! That's all! Hehehehehe…”

 

“You're not fooling anyone…” Naji retorted simply.

 

The Homonculus gulped a bit, and quickly looked around, looking for a change of subject. “Um uh… h-hey! How come the sky's dark when the sun's out?”

 

Naji was silent, before he sighed. “Because it's hidden.” That earned him a bit of an odd look from Envy, so he continued. “200 years ago, the human world, or, basically your world, was destroyed, allowing Demons to be able to survive, at least.”

 

“How's that?” Envy interjected.

 

Naji smirked evilly. “Our favorite food is human tissue.”

 

Envy gulped a bit. “Damn… I'm glad I'm not human…” he murmured.

 

“Most Demons will most likely mistake you for one though,” Naji retorted, making Envy flinch. “Demons have much stronger senses than humans. You smell just like a human, and that's enough for most Demons to try and eat you up.”

 

Envy sighed heavily, before he grumbled: “Reminds me of Gluttony…”

 

“`Gluttony'? Then I assume there are more of you sins?”

 

“If they're still alive… I know Greed, Lust and Sloth are dead. But Wrath (stupid brat), Pride and Gluttony should still be alive.”

 

“… Hmph. That was a little more than I needed to know,” Naji snorted, before he blinked. Standing up quickly, he sniffed at the air. His tail started moving about behind him, wrapping around the staff of his scythe from time to time.

 

“…What?”

 

The bloodthirsty grin spreading over Naji's face was the first answer he got. “Heh… I smell lunch…” he retorted, before he clutched his scythe tighter in his hand.

 

“Lu… lunch?!” Envy squeaked. Naji didn't respond and simply started dashing, his legs propelling him forward with immense speed. “HEY WAIT UP!!!” Envy shouted and was about to follow, when it registered in his mind what Naji was going to do. “Uh… never mind! I'll wait right here!”

 

Not a second too soon as he heard the sound of guns and screams, before the sound of shattering bones echoed through it and the screams intensified. It took a while for the gunfire to stop, and even longer for the screams to stop.

 

Envy waited patiently (for about a minute) before deciding to follow. Walking around the corner Naji had disappeared around, Envy's eyes almost bugged out of their sockets.

 

Naji didn't even look up as he slucked up the intestines of one of the humans he'd killed, though he yelped when he got the other end against his nose, sending blood-spatters over his face. Wiping the blood off and licking his hands clean, Naji finally licked his lips, before diving forward.

 

Envy hid back behind the corner before he could see anymore. True, he was used to seeing Gluttony eat others, but at last he killed clean, unlike these Demons.

 

“Boo.”

 

“YAAAAAAAH!!”

 

Naji laughed as Envy had leapt up and found himself wrapped around a streetlight. “High-strung, aren't ya? Just like a little kitty… only uglier.”

 

“Grrr! You just wait till I get down from here!!”

 

“I hate waiting,” Naji replied, grabbing his scythe in both hands.

 

“…uh-oh…”

 

With a loud roar, Naji lashed out and sliced through the streetlight like it was nothing but air, causing it to topple and hit the ground with a loud crash and cry of pain/surprise. Envy twitched as he lay there, the streetlight having hit him to his face when he smashed into the ground.

 

Naji shook his head, before he prodded Envy with the staff of his scythe. “Get up. Aku'll be back any minute. We should meet up with her.”

 

“Yes, bossman…” Envy replied sarcastically.

 

Within a second Envy found the blade of Naji's scythe against his throat. “Care to repeat that?!” Naji hissed, angrily.

 

Envy blinked in slight surprise. “What's your problem?!”

 

“What's my problem?!?! What's my problem?!?! I'll tell ya what's my problem!!” Naji bellowed, grabbing Envy by his shirt and lifting him up (miraculously not tearing it). “My problem is that I'm a GIRL!!!!”

 

For a long time, Envy only stared in surprise. He looked Naji over one last time, before looking at him… err, her.

 

“Say WHAT?!?!”

 

 

 

-OWARI

 

 

 

Envy: Alright, I'm confused!

 

Aku: ;p Tha was the point, dumbhead!

 

Envy: What the?! Hey what are you doing here?!

 

Aku: Oops! *is gone*

 

Envy: Ch. Women. ……WAIT A MINUTE!! HOW COME I'M ONLY WORKING WITH WOMEN?!!?

 

Naji: Not our fault. It's theirs. *points to Zeal & Miranda*

 

Zeal: Since when is this OUR fault?!

 

Miranda: Our fault our fault our fault!

 

Zeal: Oh gee, thanks a LOT!!

 

Miranda: You're welcome! ^^

 

Envy: …Just shoot me in the head will ya?

 

Ed- & Hughes-fangirls: *grab their weapons* GLADLY!!!

 

 

 

*the following scene was too horrific to even begin to describe*

 

 

 

Zeal: Ouch. I feel kinda sorry for Envy.

 

Naji: We should save him…

 

Zeal: Yeah…

 

Zeal & Naji: …… *look at each other* Naaah!

 

Miranda: Aww, poor little fella… ;_;

 

Zeal: Ah, I dunno… Miranda's just a sentimentalist.

 

Miranda: *blows a raspberry and goes to get Envy*

 

Brunette: Hiya!!

 

Naji: Oh great, what're you doing here?!

 

Brunette: Just stopping by.

 

Miranda: *walks over with heavily beat-up Envy in tow* Uhhh… where were we?

 

Envy: Uhh… that it stinks?

 

Miranda: Oh yeah. I SAY IT'S TRUE!!

 

*fish-fight ensues*

 

Zeal & Naji: *sweatdrop* Oy…

 

Brunette: Yay!! *jumps into the fight*

 

Aku: *runs in* HEY!! Dun steal my lines!! *jumps in too*

 

Zeal: …Take it we're the only sane ones around here.

 

Naji: Yup.

 

Zeal: … Wanna go to the mall?

 

Naji: Sure.

 

Zeal & Naji: *walk away*