Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Descent ❯ Deliberation ( Chapter 36 )

 

 

Descent

 

Chapter Thirty-Six

 

Deliberation

 

 

Jean Havoc walked slowly toward Central Headquarters. It was still early, but he hadn't slept well last night, or the night before, or the night before that... How could he sleep well when everything had gone so wrong?

 

He stopped at an intersection, waiting for the traffic light to change so he could cross. Closing his eyes, he took a deep drag on his cigarette and frowned as the memories from that night filled his mind. Memories of running, lots of running. Memories of Riza shouting at him in an almost uncontrolled panic as she raced toward the colonel's office...

 

He opened his eyes and started walking across the street and across the well taken care of grounds of headquarters.

 

It wasn't supposed to happen that way, he thought to himself as he sat down under the nearest tree. He flicked his current cigarette, now smoked down to the filter, away before fishing another one out.

 

Lighting it, Jean leaned against the tree and closed his tired eyes again. The sound of the office door crashing open and that one moment of horrified silence as he took in the broken window, the blood, and Riza's horrified expression before she rushed into the room.

 

He'd been too stunned to move and he'd watched with a heavy pain in his chest as Hawkeye knelt down next to the colonel. It had been Colonel Mustang's voice that had prompted him to move. Jean hadn't been able to understand just why Mustang would ask for Ed of all people.

 

He'd walked to the desk and stood there. He hadn't been able to tear his gaze away. She'd denied being Ed and turned to Jean telling him to call the doctor, which he did, though now he couldn't remember what he'd said or what they had said back. He hadn't been able to concentrate on that because Mustang had kept calling for Ed, kept thinking that Hawkeye was Ed.

 

And Riza had cried. Jean had never actually seen her cry. He'd seen evidence that she had, but Riza Hawkeye was a strong woman who didn't like to show that kind of weakness in front of others. But she had cried and begged the colonel to hold on; tried to tell him that she wasn't Ed.

 

It was then, that Mustang had said it. He'd said it and Jean had felt his body stiffen and his blood run cold. He'd been too shocked to even know what to think, but he'd needed to force it away. He had to because it was after that the colonel had passed out. The medics rushed in after that and then...

 

And then, he was gone.

 

He had been taken away, and Riza had cried more. At first, Jean felt a little unsure what to do, but the only thing he could think of was to hold her and comfort her.

 

So he had.

 

Jean opened his eyes and sighed. He could still feel her body pressed next to his. He could still feel her uniform and hair the way he could that night when he'd held her and comforted her. He could still smell her.

 

He wanted to hold her again...

 

He looked up at the branches of the tree as if he would find her there. He'd always thought Riza Hawkeye a beautiful woman, and he'd always had respect for her, but seeing her like that... She'd been so real, so human...

 

Jean took a puff on his cigarette. It had been as if he could protect her. In that moment, he'd seen her for the woman that she was. Yes, she was strong, but that didn't mean that she couldn't be weak sometimes. It didn't mean that she couldn't let someone take care of her.

 

And Jean liked that. He liked it a lot. He wouldn't want to be with a woman who wouldn't let him protect her sometimes, and he supposed that's why he'd never really looked at Hawkeye as a `woman' before. She had always seemed like the type who could never let herself rely on someone emotionally, but now he wondered if he was wrong.

 

He was wrong, he was sure of it.

 

He felt a wave of depression as he flicked his cigarette away and lit up a new one. Of course, Riza Hawkeye would never feel for him what he felt for her, of that he was sure. And they were co-workers, which would probably not go over well, and she was a rank above him... She was much too professional to consider a relationship with a coworker.

 

Jean frowned when the colonel's words came back to him in full force. Could it just be that the man had been delusional? Well, of course he had been; he'd mistaken Riza for Ed, but... the other...

 

Could the colonel have been having an affair with Edward Elric?! Sure, it was possible. They'd lived together. How could he have not seen this before? Was all the ranting and poking fun at each other just some sort of messed up foreplay? But then... they'd seemed to get along rather well since Ed had come back from Rizembool a few months ago. It must have been then that...whatever...they had together must have started.

 

Jean pressed his lips together around the cigarette in anger. If this were all true, and he couldn't see why it wasn't, then Ed being gone must have been the reason why the colonel had been working so much. Maybe if Mustang hadn't been working himself into the ground these past few weeks things would have been different. Or perhaps, if the colonel and Ed had never started...

 

Jean shook his head. Well, there was no knowing now, but he was pretty sure that things would have been different. Somehow, this was Ed's fault. There was no way Mustang would have been so sloppy otherwise.

 

Movement from the corner of his eye caught his attention and he looked over to see Riza walking toward headquarters. He felt surprise and concern flash through him, mixed with a little suspicion. She hadn't shown any surprise at what the colonel had been saying. Maybe it was that it hadn't sunk in, given the circumstances, but he didn't think so.

 

His eyes moved with her as she walked down the sidewalk toward him. She'd seen him, but she'd looked away slightly, as if a little embarrassed. When she was close enough, Jean said, “You never answered any of my phone calls.”

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Ed rubbed his eyes before looking at himself in the mirror. He was tired. He'd hardly had any sleep at all, but he knew he couldn't afford to miss today and just sleep. He had to be at that meeting, and he had to do...

 

Sighing, Ed picked up his brush and dragged the bristles through his hair. He'd thought a lot this morning after helping the landlady. He'd thought about the dream. He'd thought about Kain Fuery and the chess games they'd played. He thought about Breda and Hawkeye, and he'd thought about what was going on in the military with Roy gone.

 

He'd come to a conclusion too.

 

Ed wasn't willing to let people use him for their own gain, but he wasn't about to let things go to hell while Roy was gone either. So he'd come up with a plan. Hopefully it would work. He wasn't sure it would. Truthfully, he was worried it wouldn't, but he was going to do it anyway.

 

Ed put the brush down and stared at himself. He couldn't help remembering the nurse's comments. Was he really an attractive person, or was she just playing with him? He reached up and fingered the long, blond hair that hung loose and flowed past his shoulders. He usually put it in a braid because that's what was the most convenient, but...

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

“I needed to think,” Riza answered softly.

 

“I was worried about you,” Jean said just as softly. He had the urge to get up and wrap his arms around her, but he resisted. The time for physical condolences had long since past.

 

“I...” She swallowed hard and nodded. “I know and I appreciate that, it's just that...” She pressed her lips together for a moment and shook her head. “I just needed time.”

 

Jean frowned slightly. “It's only been a few days. Maybe you should take more time off,” he suggested.

 

To this, Hawkeye shook her head. “We have the weekly meeting later this morning.”

 

Jean scowled. “You came for the meeting?” He shook his head. “With the colonel... not here... I don't think the meeting will last long. I could give you the rundown over the phone if you...” He trailed off when she started shaking her head.

 

“We're all supposed to be at the meeting, if we're able. I'm able, so I'll be there. Besides,” she said, her voice losing volume. “I have a job to do... We all...” Her voice caught and he could see her eyes glisten with unshed tears. “...have jobs to do.”

 

“Lieutenant...” Jean began, but she simply waved a hand at him.

 

“I think that more will happen today than you believe,” she said, her voice stronger than it had been a moment before.

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Ed reached back and held his hair up in a ponytail. He'd put it up in a ponytail when he was in a hurry or just wanted to get it out of his face for the moment, but it was generally something quick and nothing especially nice. He turned his head this way and that before grabbing the brush and neatly brushing it back, then tying it carefully in place. Ed checked himself again with a critical eye.

 

Roy liked his hair. Would he like this style? Ed tilted his head as he studied himself, thinking that it kind of made him look a little older; maybe a bit more mature.

 

Sighing, Ed left the bathroom and quickly headed to the bedroom where he retrieved his pocket watch, then stuffed it in that little pocket sewn into the uniform specifically for the damn thing. He stuffed his almost empty pack of smokes—most of which had been smoked that morning—into another pocket, along with a small book of matches.

 

With one last look around, he headed for the front door. Letting himself out, Ed started walking, then stopped and pulled a cigarette out. He was so nervous. What if it was the wrong move?

 

He kept asking himself, `What would Roy do in this situation?' It helped... a little. He was pretty sure that Roy wouldn't do what he was about to. Most likely, Roy would have a nice formulated plan and slowly go about it without anyone noticing.

 

That wasn't Ed, so he'd just have to do the best he knew how.

 

Someday, maybe he'd be like Roy in some ways—mature, commanding, and respected—but today, for now, he'd simply have to pretend the best he could. He had to be all that Roy was, even though he couldn't take his place.

 

Ed tucked the matches away and glanced at his reflection in the window. Today, he was going to have to try to be like Roy, and maybe tomorrow and the day after... He was going to have to try making most of the moves Roy would. Of course, there would be some things that he couldn't do, but he'd do what he could.

 

Ed took a drag and started walking towards Central Headquarters. Today, he was going to stop being the pawn, and try being the queen.

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Jean's eyes narrowed a little. “What do you mean?” he asked. Riza shrugged a little, but said nothing, making Jean's mouth pull down into a deep frown around his cigarette. She knew something.

 

That really didn't surprise him. Riza always seemed to know something, always seemed to be `in the know'. This brought his mind back to that night with the colonel and he studied her face.

 

If Roy Mustang and Ed Elric really were having an affair, did she know? If he asked, would she tell him? It was a dangerous thing, and dangerous things were generally better kept to a small group, or even not at all.

 

Of course, there was always the big question of: Did he really want to know?

 

Jean took a drag on his cigarette and scrubbed a hand along his chin, trying to decide if he should attempt rocking the boat on this. Sticking one's nose in where it hadn't been invited could cause more problems than it solved. But then, as they say, curiosity killed the cat, and while Jean wasn't a cat, he sure was damn curious.

 

“Lieutenant,” Jean finally said cautiously. He hesitated asking her about that night. In his opinion, she looked as though she was barely holding herself together as it was. He knew she blamed herself for what happened and that made it even worse.

 

“Yes?” Hawkeye said after he'd been silent too long.

 

“About... that night... I...” He paused, then, “I need to ask you a question.” Another pause. “About the colonel and...”

 

“You came,” a voice said, cutting him off. Jean looked over and saw Ed walking toward him. Frowning, Jean studied Ed. The teen was wearing his military uniform and had his hair pulled back in a high ponytail. A cigarette was nestled between two of his fingers and he brought it up to take a drag before speaking again.

 

“I was worried that...” Ed started, then trailed off and shook his head. “Never mind,” he said instead as he stopped beside Hawkeye. Ed studied them both for a moment with an unreadable expression before saying, “I'd like the two of you to come with me. I think...” He trailed off again as if he was half talking to them, half talking to himself.

 

Hawkeye nodded, but Jean shook his head, “No thanks. I'll stay here.” He had no desire to go anywhere with Ed. Right now, what he wanted to do was clobber the kid and demand answers. Anger bubbled hot beneath his calm façade and he was barely holding himself back from demanding why he had interfered with the colonel at all.

 

Ed frowned and glared at him for a moment before his face smoothed out. “That's not a request, lieutenant. It's an order.”

 

Jean raised an eyebrow. Ed was ordering him around? Well, the kid was a superior officer, but Ed had never bothered to order anyone around before. This only served to deepen Jean's resentment.

 

Flicking his cigarette away, Jean stood and brushed off his uniform. An order was an order, and for now he didn't see any harm in following the kid around to wherever he was going. Or at least, he didn't see the point in causing problems for himself when it was just one little thing.

 

With a scowl, Jean motioned forward with his hand and said, sarcasm heavy in his voice, “Lead us then, Major Elric. In your wisdom we trust.”

 

To this, he saw blood rush to Ed's smooth face, though whether in embarrassment or anger, Jean couldn't tell. Instead of the outburst Jean had expected, Ed turned stiffly and started toward the main entrance of the building without a word.

 

Jean glanced at Hawkeye, who was giving him a disapproving look. She glanced at Ed, then back to him before giving a small shake of her head as if to say, `Don't do that' or even `That was a little childish, don't you think?'

 

Jean gave her a wry look in return before following Ed. Riza might think that following the brat's orders were okay because he was higher in rank, but he didn't. Of course, he wasn't about to tell her that until he knew where she stood. He didn't want to look like a fool in her eyes, and he didn't want to cause problems for himself. He'd wait to see how things played out before deciding where he'd cast his lot.

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Fletcher sighed as he sunk into the kitchen chair. His body was sore, but he felt really great. Who knew that this physical training could be so addictive? Sure it hurt sometimes and he was sore a lot, but it felt good to get out there and just focus on the moves and forms.

 

A plate was set in front of him before his teacher sat down in one of the chairs. Her husband sat in one of the others and they started on their breakfast. Fletcher eagerly picked his fork up and was about to take a bite when the phone rang.

 

They all looked at each other for a moment before Fletcher got up, walked to the phone and said politely, “Curtis residence. Fletcher speaking.”

 

“Fletcher?” came the voice on the other line.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“This is Alphonse.”

 

“Oh! Al!” Fletcher exclaimed and a smile spread on his face. “I heard about you getting your body back!”

 

“Yeah!” Al said a little more cheerfully than he'd sounded a moment before. “It's nice to be `real' again.”

 

“Yeah...” Fletcher said, then asked, “Did Russel get there okay?”

 

“He did. He's fine,” Al answered.

 

“Can I talk to him?” he asked eagerly.

 

“Well... I actually don't know where he is right now... I think he went into town, but I'm not sure...” Al said, sounding a little confused. “I'll tell him to give you a call when I see him. That okay?”

 

“Yeah...” Fletcher said, his shoulders sagging in disappointment. “Um... Ed was here a few days ago...”

 

“What?!” Al exclaimed. “How long was he there? Was he okay?”

 

“He was just here for a couple of days,” Fletcher said. “And he looked okay, I guess... but he said he needed to go back to Central.”

 

“Central...” Al said, frustration saturating his words. “Figures...”

 

Fletcher heard Al sigh and felt a little bad for him, so he said, “But, he said he might be going to Rizembool some time soon...”

 

“He did?” Al said, and Fletcher wasn't sure if the other alchemist sounded happy about that or not.

 

“Well, yeah, but he didn't say for sure...”

 

“I see,” Al said, and for a moment there was silence before, “Is teacher there?”

 

“Yeah, just a second,” Fletcher said, then held the phone out to Izumi. “It's Al.”

 

Izumi stood and took the phone from him and Fletcher heard, “Hello, Alphonse,” as he sat back down in his chair. He took a bite of his food and heard, “Oh, he did, did he?” A pause. “That's right, I had my reasons for taking him on as a student.”

 

Fletcher glanced up as he realized they were talking about him, and probably Russell too. Izumi was looking over at him and he ducked his head and took another bite of his food.

 

“Yes, he was,” Izumi said after a moment, and Fletcher felt the need to glance back at her. “It's not my responsibility to report Edward's dealings to you, Alphonse. If he didn't call you himself then that's his business.” A pause. “Am I your nanny now? If you want to talk to him, then take the initiative to do so.”

 

Fletcher shivered and took another bite of his food. His teacher sure was scary sometimes...

 

“What do you want, Alphonse? Why did you call?” she said, not sounding very happy

 

There was a longer pause, then, “Really? Well, congratulations, Alphonse!” Congratulations? Fletcher glanced back and saw that Izumi was smiling now. “I approve of your choice.” Another pause. “And when will the wedding be?”

 

Fletcher blinked. Wedding? Al getting married? He looked at Sig who returned his glance. The big man didn't seem very surprised, but then Fletcher had found that Sig was just that way...

 

“I see. Well, you should decide on a date,” Izumi was saying and Fletcher glanced back at her. “We'll try, but...” Izumi pressed her lips together. “We're having some...issues...with the military here right now. They're making it a little difficult to travel out of the area.”

 

Fletcher nodded. He remembered the meeting with the military. It had been frightening how that military man, Colonel Olsen, had laid out the rules and punishments like killing someone for a small offense was nothing. He'd assured them that if they cooperated everything would be fine, but Fletcher hadn't felt that everything would be fine.

 

It was then that they'd brought out a man who belonged to the People's Army, and had publicly executed him right there. Fletcher had cried because he couldn't help but think that if Russell was there, he'd be in so much danger... He couldn't bear to think of his brother in danger.

 

“I see,” Izumi said, interrupting Fletcher's thoughts. “So the military is in Rizembool as well.” To this Fletcher stood quickly. He gripped the table and bit his lip in worry. If the military was in Rizembool, then Russell was in danger!

 

“Sit down and eat your breakfast!” Izumi barked at him.

 

“But...” Fletcher whined. Instead of speaking, Izumi's eyes narrowed, making Fletcher shrink back down into his chair. His heart was beating wildly and his appetite was completely gone.

 

“I expect you'll be careful,” Izumi said into the phone, ignoring Fletcher's pleading look. “It would be better if you didn't associate yourself with the rebellion or anyone from it, yes.”

 

Fletcher whimpered. She wasn't telling Al to kick Russell out, was she?

 

There was another long pause, then, “I agree with Winry, but that is between you and her.” More silence, then she said, “It was good talking to you as well,” before hanging up the phone. She stared at the phone silently with a serious look on her face before glancing over at Fletcher.

 

“Eat!” she commanded and walked back to her chair.

 

Fletcher contemplated asking her some questions, but decided to wait until later. With a heavy heart and fear welled up within him, Fletcher took a bite of his food, and tried not to worry about Russell too much.

 

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Well, it's been an eventful summer, though I'm now quite behind on this story. I apologize. Hopefully you'll see more updates from me soon.

 

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