Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Descent ❯ Reconciliation ( Chapter 39 )

-

-

Descent

 

Chapter Thirty-Nine

 

Reconciliation

-

-

With the folded up chess set under one arm and the ice pack pressed against his eye, Ed strode purposefully down the hallway to Roy's... his... office. No... No, it was still Roy's office. He was just filling in for Roy. Roy would be back... Ed nodded to someone as they passed him and breathed out slowly. After getting himself another pack of smokes and visiting Fuery, Ed felt much more calm and ready to face things here...

 

“Fullmetal,” someone barked behind him. Ed frowned at the voice and turned slowly to see Colonel Douglass's ugly face staring down at him. Just the sight of the man dissipated any calm feelings he'd had and anger filled him. He suddenly had the most pressing need to do to the smartass colonel exactly what Havoc had done to him.

 

“What do you want?” Ed growled, then winced as the ice pack he was pressing against his eye—a new one given to him by one of the hospital nurses—pressed harder than was comfortable.

 

“As you know, I'm investigating what happened with Colonel Mustang, and I want some information from you,” Douglass said with an air of self-importance that made Ed seethe even more.

 

“Okay, fine,” Ed shot back angrily. “But only if you give me some information. I want to know if Mustang is alive or not, and if so, where is he!”

 

“I don't think you're in any position to be making demands,” Douglass said menacingly, then took a step forward. Ed knew this was supposed to be an intimidating gesture, but he didn't feel intimidated. He felt pissed.

 

Standing his ground, Ed pulled the icepack away from his face and pointed it at Douglass. “Oh really? I thought you wanted information from me.” He totally was in a position to make demands. If the colonel thought he was going to get what he wanted without some sort of exchange, he was wrong.

 

Douglass's face took on a bland expression and he said, “Did the fuhrer really make you a lieutenant colonel, or is that simply a rumor?”

 

Ed blinked and winced at the pain in his eye before replacing the icepack. How did he know? It had only been a few hours ago... But then he remembered what Hawkeye had said about information spreading. She'd said like a wild fire, but he'd thought it would be a few days at least... He pressed his lips together, wondering if he should give up that information. It wasn't as if it was really secret...

 

“That's right,” Ed finally said. “He did make me a lieutenant colonel. Got a problem with that?”

 

“I think that much should be obvious,” Douglass said wryly. “I know we're short on staff with what's going on in the East, but making a child a lieutenant colonel is ridiculous.”

 

Gritting his teeth, Ed ground out, “What the fuck do you want?”

 

“Like I said, information.”

 

“Okay, fine. Answer my questions first. It's equivalent,” Ed said stubbornly.

 

Douglass laughed humorlessly and said, “Do I look like an alchemist to you? I'm going to ask you some questions, and you will answer them because I rank higher than you. You'll answer them because it's an order; got that, lieutenant colonel?”

 

Ed opened his mouth, ready to tell Colonel Douglass he could shove his orders up his ass, when Douglass's eyes moved beyond him and a moment later, Ed heard behind him, “I think I might have the answers you're looking for, colonel.”

 

Spinning around, Ed came face to face—or as near as he could, given the height differences—with Lieutenant Breda. The red-headed man's eyes flitted over Ed's face for a moment, over his injured eye really, then looked away from Ed and back to Douglass.

 

“I've kept an eye out as you requested, and I also did a little questioning and research of my own.”

 

Ed scowled darkly at Breda, then turned to glare at Douglass before turning back to Breda and exclaiming, “So what? You were working for him? What the fuck?!”

 

“That's the way it works in the military, brat,” Douglass said snidely. “Those of lower rank obey those with higher rank. If you're going to climb the ranks, then you'd better get used to sticking that little nose of yours up a lot of asses.”

 

Snarling, Ed turned around to face him, and when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he shrugged it off. Ed opened his mouth, but Douglass turned his gaze from him and addressed Breda.

 

“Come to my office later today with your report.”

 

“Yes, sir,” Breda said smartly.

 

Douglass looked at Ed seriously and said, all trace of smugness gone, “I'll be keeping an eye on you,” before turning around and starting down the hall.

 

What a fucking bastard! Ed thought, and was about to loudly let Douglass know exactly what was on his mind when he felt Breda's hand on his shoulder again.

 

“Ed,” Breda said softly.

 

“Fuck you!” Ed spat as he turned around and knocked the man's hand away with the one holding the icepack.

 

Pressing his lips together and taking a deep breath through his large nose, Breda said quietly, “I'm not working for Douglass. I said what I did to save your ass. Yes, Douglass said to watch you, but if you think I'm going to give that tightwad any useful information, then you're dumber than I thought.”

 

Ed blinked at that and thought about what Breda had just said, trying to decide if the man was insulting him or not.

 

“Eh... that didn't come out right...” Breda said a little sheepishly, then looked at Ed's injured eye again and frowned deeply before glancing down at the chess set Ed was holding. “Why d'you got that? You don't play chess.”

 

“Oh... well...” Ed had meant to take it back home before returning to the office, but he'd already been gone a long time, and hadn't wanted to cause anymore problems, so he'd brought it with him. “I went to go check on Fuery and we played a couple games.” More like Fuery wiped the floor with him, but Ed wasn't about to admit that.

 

Breda's eyes narrowed slightly as he studied Ed closely, and Ed wasn't sure if he should go back to being mad or not. Breda said he wasn't working for Douglass, but should he believe him? What if he was just saying that? The man had already tried to use him before... but then, it wasn't as if Breda had actually lied to him...

 

Ed returned Breda's inspection with one of his own and after a few moments of silence, a loud grumbling sound met Ed's ears. Clearing his throat, Ed mumbled in slight embarrassment, “I haven't eaten for a while...”

 

Breda smirked a little, and said, “Me either.” He paused, then said, “Tell ya what. You bring the game and I'll pay for lunch.”

 

Ed pressed his lips together in thought, trying to decide if he was still pissed at Breda or not. After all, he'd been pretty mad in the meeting... When his stomach growled again, Ed sighed and nodded. Maybe he could try undoing some of the damage that had already been done. Fuery seemed to think it was possible, and maybe he was right.

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Bartholomew Kagegkuski heaved a heavy sigh and closed his eyes. He hadn't realized how stressful the meeting with the Ishbalan leaders was going to be. They had some very particular ideas about fighting, and it had taken quite a while to assure them that he would never try to coerce them into going against their beliefs.

 

While he did need fighting men, food and supplies were just as important. Hungry and barefoot soldiers didn't last nearly as long as well fed and well supplied ones. When they took over East City, it would be a great boon to their cause. While not as well protected as Central, East City was a well fortified military stronghold and could be used to defend many people who were now homeless due to the military's merciless pillaging of the smaller, unprotected towns.

 

“Well,” a smooth female voice said, interrupting his thoughts. “I think you may have convinced them.”

 

Bartholomew cracked open an eye and glanced at the black-clad, busty woman in front of him. He didn't like how she seemed to just show up out of nowhere. It was very... disconcerting.

 

“I don't know that I did,” he said. He might have, but he wasn't sure. They said they would send their answer soon, but until they said yes, he wouldn't count on their help.

 

“Oh, I think you did,” she said with a smirk. “They've been beaten down, chased, and harassed by the military for so long, that the prospect of peace is something they can't ignore.”

 

“Maybe,” he grunted, and shifted in his chair.

 

Folding her arms, the woman smiled knowingly at him. “But they aren't the real prize.” He opened both of his eyes and stared at her in confusion. At that, her grin grew even wider. “That's right, the real prize is the scarred Ishbalan.”

 

Bartholomew frowned deeply, but nodded. Yes, he'd heard of the scarred man, heard of how he liked to kill state alchemists... “He'd be very valuable to our cause, but he doesn't seem to follow Isbalan doctrine. Do you think he would fight for our cause?”

 

“No, I don't,” she said. “He fights for his own cause, but I think that since both of you are interested in killing state alchemists, he might be willing to work with you.” She paused. “Perhaps.”

 

Perhaps...

 

“And what do you get out of this?” he asked flatly, not that he really expected a straight answer. “No one does anything for free.”

 

Her smile became one of secrecy and she said, “Oh, I have my reasons. But for now, let's just say that I know where he is... I want to keep an eye on him... for when I need him...”

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

When Ed walked into the very small restaurant, his mouth instantly began salivating heavily. Whatever was being cooked in this place smelled delicious! He could hear a sizzling sound at the far end of the restaurant, and it was all he could do to keep from running back there to see what was cooking.

 

“Heymans!” a voice said jovially and Ed looked over to see a man close to Breda's age walking toward them.

 

“Teagan!” Breda responded just as warmly. He walked toward the other man and they smacked their fists together a few times, then the man, Teagan, began asking Breda if he'd gone to some game and the two of them started talking about sports, though for all Ed knew of the game, they might as well have been speaking a different language.

 

Ed glanced around the restaurant as he pressed the icepack to his eye. There was a small section on one side that held about five tables, then on the other side there were about ten booths, each sectioned off for more privacy, then at the far end was a bar for about seven people to sit, a section for the servers to work right behind that and then a door and a window that led into the kitchen. The lighting was dim, but it was very cozy in a way that made Ed feel right at home.

 

“So who's the runt?” Ed heard Teagan ask, and he turned and scowled darkly at man.

 

“Anyone would be a runt to you,” Ed spat out irritably.

 

To this, the man laughed and patted his large stomach. “I think you have a point!” he said, chortling, then took a few steps toward Ed and held out his hand. “I'm Teagan. Welcome, welcome.”

 

Ed shook the meaty hand offered, then followed Teagan and Breda to a booth in the back corner. The man left a menu for Ed, and gave Breda a meaningful look before saying he'd let Jozi know they were waiting. As Ed looked over the menu, Breda set the game up, and, after a minute a plump and very friendly-looking waitress came to take their order.

 

“Hi, Heymans,” the woman said with a toothy grin. “Who's your friend?”

 

Breda smiled back at her and motioned toward Ed with a black knight. “This is Ed Elric. Ed, this is Jozi.”

 

He nodded at the woman and she said, “Ooooh, I've heard a lot about you.”

 

Ed frowned, not sure what that meant. “Eh... wish I could say the same...”

 

This, apparently, was the wrong response because she turned and glared darkly at Breda, who put his hands up and said defensively, “He's not around a lot!”

 

She rolled her eyes and said, “Okay, well, I know what you want.” Turning to Ed, she said sweetly, “And what do you want, honey?”

 

Ed glanced at the menu before folding it and handing it over to her. “I'll just have whatever he's having.”

 

Her eyebrows raised a little and she looked him over. “Just bring it. Trust me, he might not look like it, but he can pack it away just as well as I can,” Breda said, wiggling a white pawn, then setting it down on the board. With one last look at Ed, Jozi nodded and wandered off.

 

“Who's she?” Ed asked as Breda set the last piece on the board.

 

“My girlfriend,” he grunted, then motioned for Ed to start.

 

“Your girlfriend?” Ed blurted in disbelief as he moved a pawn. “How is it that you have a girlfriend and not Havoc? I mean, he's the one who's always chasing the girls.”

 

“That's exactly it,” Breda said as he moved one of his black pawns. “He's too high strung about finding someone, but he only chases after the skirts(1) that have pretty packaging and nothing up here.” He tapped lightly on his head, and moved another of his pieces after Ed moved one of his own. “Chasing girls isn't Havoc's strength. He wants it to be, but it's not. He'd do a lot better if he toned it down.”

 

“Hm...” Ed murmured as he moved a knight. He'd never thought of chasing girls as a strength or weakness, but then he'd seen the way Roy had flirted with girls in the past, and he was amazing at it. He had a subtle and charming way about him that Havoc just didn't have.

 

“We all have our strengths and weaknesses, Ed,” Breda said as he moved a bishop forward. “Some are evident, some are not. Again, let's take Havoc as an example. He's horrible at courting the women, but he knows how to be diplomatic in his job and also he knows how to be covert. One would think they went hand in hand, but they don't because the situations are completely different.”

 

Breda paused for a moment as he considered the board, then moved another pawn forward. “Havoc is like a pawn. When it comes right down to it, he's most comfortable taking out the guns and charging into the fray, like how you're moving your pawns.” He motioned toward Ed's pieces, then pointed at his own.

 

“You see what I'm doing here?” When Ed shook his head, Breda said, “I'm using these pawns here to capture your attention, and these ones over here are sort of just inching in without you noticing them.”

 

Ed blinked in surprise. He'd noticed the pieces, sure, but he hadn't really thought anything of them. Breda seemed to notice the surprise Ed felt because he said, “Havoc can be both or either when he needs to be, but just by looking at him, you'd think that he was simply a fighter.”

 

Nodding, Ed adjusted the icepack he'd been holding to his eye. “So... what? You bring me here to tell me to play nice with Havoc. I wasn't the one that hit him,” Ed said irritably.

 

Breda shook his head and motioned for Ed to make a move, which he did without even thinking. “No, I'm telling you this because you need to understand your own limitations, and you need to understand those around you and also what is happening around you.” He moved a piece, then continued.

 

“This was, maybe still is, the colonel, and this is you right now,” he said, pointing to Ed's king. “And these...” he motioned to his own pieces as Ed made a move. “These are all those in the military who want to take you down. These...” he said, motioning to the rest of Ed's pieces. “These are us. This is me, Falman, Havoc, Hawkeye, and whoever else is working under you to protect you.”

 

“Like... Fuery?” Ed asked, noticing Breda left the man out of the list.

 

Breda frowned deeply, then moved his knight, blocking one of Ed's pawns. Pointing at it, he said, “No. This is Fuery. He may still be alive, but he's not in any position to do any good right now. He might be in the future, but we don't know.”

 

Ed stared at the board unhappily. All of this chess talk was making his head spin. He liked his information to mean what it said. That's why he liked math and the sciences. He tapped his fingers on the table in frustration, then moved a piece, capturing one of Breda's pawns and said, “What is this about anyway? I mean... You were mad this morning, but now you're buying me lunch. Why?”

 

When no answer came, Ed glanced up to see Breda staring silently at him. The man's small eyes seemed to be weighing Ed and judging him. Finally, Breda said, “Your mom ever yell at you when you were little?”

 

“No,” Ed said immediately, then said, “Well... yeah... a couple times...” Ed watched Breda kill off the one he'd just moved, then quickly made a move of his own.

 

“Why's that?” Breda asked, not looking at Ed, but studying the board carefully now.

 

Ed shifted uncomfortably in his seat, then said, “Me and Al deserved it, really. We were being stupid and we could have gotten hurt.” Breda looked up at him expectantly, and Ed sighed heavily as he saw the connection. “You're not my mom,” Ed said lamely as he watched Breda kill off another one of his pieces.

 

“Doesn't matter. I still don't want to see ya get hurt.”

 

“You tried to use me,” Ed said flatly.

 

“Yeah, I did,” Breda admitted. “I wanted to guide you into doing what I thought was best, but you're a stubborn ass.” He looked up and gave Ed a smirk. “I forgot about that.”

 

Ed moved the icepack away from his eye and folded his arms obstinately. “Gee, thanks.”

 

“Make your move,” Breda said, and when Ed did, the man continued. “Look, I'm gonna say it flat out. I was pissed because you made things worse and because you didn't act how I wanted you to. If you think you're gonna get an apology because I tried to use you, then think again. I will say that my attitude wasn't called for, and for that, I hope you'll see past it, because we need to work together to get through this, okay?” Breda said directly.

 

Ed nodded. This was what he liked. He liked it when people were direct with him, even if he didn't like what they had to say. At least he knew what the hell they were talking about instead of all this dancing around the topic bullshit.

 

“What I did today was really stupid, wasn't it...” Ed said quietly as he replaced the icepack.

 

Breda gave him a sympathetic look, and nodded. “You made lots of enemies today, and you showed how naive you are to the politics in the military. They'll be watching you like a hawk. One good thing is that the blow up from this morning can be used to our advantage. They'll think that we're all against you and it will make it easier for us to know what others are planning against you.”

 

Ed nodded. It made sense.

 

“One of the down sides is that, as a lieutenant colonel, you're gonna be responsible for a lot of men when we get called out, and you can be sure we will. I think this thing in the East is going to get ugly. We'll be here to help you, but be sure to pay attention in your training classes because they'll be teaching you a lot of tactical stuff.” Breda eyed the board with a small grin and shook his head. “You'll need it.”

 

Ed scowled. “You saying I suck as a leader?”

 

“No, only that being tactical is definitely not your strong point.”

 

“What makes you say that?” Ed bit out unhappily.

 

Breda reached out and moved a piece, then said, “Checkmate.”

 

Ed eyed the board in disbelief. It had been so fast! He'd only lost a couple pieces! Sure he knew he sucked at chess from playing Fuery, but it was usually a competitive game. He at least was able to take out a few of Fuery's pieces! What Breda had done was...

 

“Wow...” Ed said in disbelief. “You're really good,” he complimented.

 

“I know,” Breda said with a shrug, then started putting away the pieces. “Of course it helped that you suck at the game.”

 

“Fuck you,” Ed growled.

 

At this Breda simply laughed, and said, “We should play more often! Usually I play Havoc if I want to stroke my ego, but you're a whole lot worse than him.”

 

Ed opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment, Jozi showed up with two large plates and set them down in front of them. When he saw what was on the plates, Ed grinned widely. The plates were huge and filled with meaty ribs covered in some sort of brown sauce. A large pile of seasoned potatoes nearly overflowed onto the meat and two thick slabs of bread rested precariously on the edge of the plate.

 

“I think I've died and gone to heaven...” Ed murmured as he put the icepack down and picked up a fork and knife.

 

Laughing, Breda said, his mouth full, “Yeah, that's what I said the first time I saw this dish too. But then Jozi thought I was talking to her so I was forced to take her out.”

 

Ed grinned as the woman scowled and smacked him playfully on the back of the head before stalking off. His smile faded a little as he suddenly thought of Roy. He missed him so bad... He just wanted to tell him that he was sorry for running off and for not keeping in touch. He wanted to see him again so much that it brought a small pain in his chest. He was sure Roy was alive... really he was... but where? Where was he, and how could he find him...?

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Ed half walked, half waddled, down the hallway. He'd eaten the whole plate and they'd gotten dessert... If Breda ate like that all the time, it was no wonder he was so hefty! Ed didn't think he'd eaten that well in a while, and he thought he was going to take a nice little nap on one of those couches in the office.

 

Besides how delicious the food was, Ed also felt really good about what had happened between him and Breda. They'd talked through the meal and a little after about Ed trusting them and him trying to make peace with everyone. Sometimes Ed had felt like Breda was verbally smacking him around, but Ed had told him to be direct when talking with him, so the man had been. And while not all of it had been easy to hear, it made much more sense and Breda actually seemed to be a little more comfortable with the directness.

 

“Fullmetal!” Ed heard. Stopping, Ed realized he'd just passed General Hakuro's office. Backing up a couple of steps, Ed looked in the open door to see the man glaring daggers at him. “Get your ass in this office, now!”

 

Grumbling under his breath, Ed stepped inside and took a deep breath. He and Breda had also talked about Ed being careful when he talked to people. He just hoped that he'd be able to keep himself from reacting...

 

Hakuro glared at him and said, motioning with his hand, “Move the icepack.” When Ed did so, the man's eyebrow twitched and he said, “What the hell happened to your face?”

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Jean Havoc walked quickly down the hall, fingering the cigarette in his hand. He really didn't need Riza bitching at him. He knew he was wrong to hit Ed. He'd regretted it the moment it happened; but it had happened, and the damn kid had deserved it. Ed didn't know what the hell he was doing.

 

He flipped the cigarette over and over in his hand. Besides, it wasn't as if he'd been trying to piss Riza off. He had only been thinking of her emotional state when he suggested she go home. He'd been trying to be nice. Why the hell was it that every time he tried to be nice, he was screwed over?

 

Suddenly, Jean heard, “Fullmetal” shouted one hall down, and he quickly walked over to the other hallway and looked down in time to see Ed walk into Hakuro's office. Glancing down at the cigarette in his hand, Jean quickly stuck it behind his ear and moved down near the open office door.

 

Of course it was totally wrong of him to eaves drop like this, but then, if there was anything important going on in there, the door probably would have been shut.

 

“What the hell happened to your face?” he heard Hakuro demand.

 

Jean cringed. This was where karma was going to bite him in the ass. Of course, he didn't blame Ed. Jean would probably rat him out too...

 

“I walked into a door,” Ed said flatly, and Jean blinked. He'd totally expected Ed to tell on him... After all, hitting your commanding officer was a serious offense, and Ed would have been able to get back at him and have it be `legal' too...

 

He instantly felt ashamed. He'd been so pissed at Ed that he'd completely disregarded what he did know of him. Ed was a loud-mouthed brat, but he also had a good heart... Maybe, Breda was right. Maybe it was the colonel who'd taken advantage of Ed... Jean pressed his lips together and listened as Hakuro spoke again.

 

“You do know that it's a punishable offence to lie to your commanding officer, don't you?”

 

He's trying to scare Ed, Jean thought. It wouldn't work. Ed didn't scare that easily. If Ed were to be hanged, he'd probably be screaming `fuck you all' as the rope was put around his neck. It was admirable, but damned frustrating because it was as if the kid didn't realize that it wasn't just his neck that was at stake.

 

“I'd heard something about that,” he heard Ed say lightly. His tone bordered on flippant and respectful, and Jean rolled his eyes. Ed was just begging to end up like Mustang...

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Hakuro scowled darkly and Ed mentally kicked himself for his tone. This being respectful thing, was not something that came naturally to him...

 

Picking up a sheet of paper, the general said, “Do you know what this is?”

 

“No, sir,” Ed said in the most respectful tone he could come up with. He had an idea what it was, but he wasn't sure.

 

“I received this letter from the fuhrer's office this morning. It informed me of your visit—of your request to fill Mustang's position while he's... missing... and of your promotion to lieutenant colonel.” The general set the paper down slowly and said, “We don't usually promote little puppies like yourself before they're weaned and trained properly.”

 

Ed ground his teeth together angrily at those words. It was only with sheer will that he kept himself from saying anything. He wanted to. Oh yes, he had some very choice words that he wanted to say, but he kept quiet and waited.

 

Hakuro's features didn't change, but Ed thought the man seemed a little put out that Ed wasn't reacting to the jab. It could have been imagined, but it did make Ed feel like he'd won some sort of point.

 

“There's a thing called `chain of command'. When you want something done, you go to the person who is just above you,” Hakuro said in a tight voice. “Going over your commanding officer's head is inappropriate.”

 

“I would have gone to my commanding officer, but he's missing,” Ed said smoothly. “I didn't realize that I needed to go to you.” It was sort of a half truth, half lie. Truthfully, he hadn't even thought about going to Hakuro, though if he'd thought about it, Ed wasn't exactly sure that he wouldn't have gone directly to the fuhrer anyway.

 

“Well, now you know,” Hakuro said in a condescending tone. “I'm short staffed right now, so I expect you to be a good dog and not cause any problems.”

 

Ed was seething inwardly, and before he could stop himself, he quipped smartly, “Don't worry; I won't cause you any more problems than I caused Mustang.” Hakuro's eyes narrowed slightly, and Ed could tell that the man was definitely not reassured. “Besides,” Ed said, trying to sound more respectful. “I'm sure Mustang will be back soon. I'm only filling in until then.”

 

Hakuro gave a small smirk. “Do you really think he's still alive?”

 

He has to be... Ed thought, but said, “Yes, sir, I do.” The general gave him a knowing look and Ed suddenly had a thought. “Unless you have reason to think otherwise,” Ed blurted without thinking. “There's been no news about him yet, maybe the military... or even a small group in the military... is hiding him? Maybe they want to keep him quiet?”

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Jean frowned deeply. Was Ed accusing General Hakuro of hiding Colonel Mustang? Hakuro seemed to be on the same line of thought because he said flatly, “That would be quite the accusation. Be careful pointing fingers, Fullmetal. They just might get cut off.”

 

The threat was obvious in his tone, and there was silence in the office before Ed said in a tone that was just as flat as Hakuro's, “Well, sir, I suppose you're right, but fingers can be replaced, and I'm sure the military expects its soldiers to have balls. You can't run with the big dogs when you pee like a puppy.”

 

At that, Jean nearly burst out laughing, and instead settled on a quiet gagging motion. The exchange was both funny and extremely scary because he couldn't tell if Ed was just being mindlessly impertinent or if he realized exactly the implication that could be read in those words.

 

There was another long period of silence before Hakuro said dangerously, “Fullmetal... I am not Roy Mustang. I will not put up with your insolence. Respect is paramount and you will give it when and where it is due. I have a memo from Colonel Douglass expressing concern about your flippant attitude and I think your behavior here reflects that you're not mature enough to handle a position of authority in the military.”

 

Shit... Jean thought, and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to light up the smoke he'd stuck behind his ear.

 

“I was planning on issuing you a warning concerning Douglass, but instead I will submit a write-up to be attached to your file. Next time I won't be as lenient, and you may find yourself scrubbing every damn toilet on this base, or eventually out of the military all together. You understand me, boy?”

 

Jean nodded to himself. It was a little lenient considering how pissed Hakuro sounded, but for Ed's first offence it seemed pretty standard.

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

After several moments of silence, Ed finally said in a tight voice, “Yes, sir, General Hakuro, sir.” He felt angry at himself for not being able to keep quiet. He had been out of line, and he knew it. It had felt damn good to say what he had, but he knew that pissing off Hakuro would bring him nothing but grief; and right now he didn't need more problems, so he swallowed his pride—with much difficulty—and gave a low, respectful bow from the waist.

 

“You're right. I was out of line. I apologize, sir,” Ed said in the most humble voice he could muster, then mentally tacked on, You mother-fucking-son-of-a-bitch. I know you know where Roy is, and you know that I know...

 

He heard Hakuro get out of his chair and after a moment he could see the man's black leather boots. “That's what I like to see, colonel(2). It's good to see that you can be trained when a firm hand is applied.”

 

Ed snarled silently and was glad that the man couldn't see his face because he was sure that would only bring more trouble. He wondered if he should say something, but he couldn't think of anything polite to say, so he kept quiet.

 

“You're dismissed,” Hakuro said lightly, and when Ed stood up straight, the man said, “Oh, and don't forget to pick up your new uniform...”

 

Ed blinked, then unconsciously reached up and fingered the stars on the shoulder of his jacket. Of course... He'd need a couple new every day jackets and a new dress jacket... With a nod, Ed turned and walked quickly out of the room. Turning quickly out into the hallway, Ed nearly collided with Jean Havoc, but the man reached out and stopped him from doing so. Putting a finger to his lips, Havoc motioned for him to follow, and they quickly made their way outside the building.

 

Neither of them spoke until they were out on the lawn and sitting under one of the trees. Lighting up a smoke, Havoc said, “You are one crazy son-of-a-bitch, you know that?”

 

Ed pulled out a cigarette of his own, and, after taking a drag, he glanced at Havoc and slowly brought the icepack back up to his eye, giving the man a pointed look. He was still mad over being sucker-punched.

 

Havoc seemed to realize it too because after a moment he said, “Alright! I'm sorry, okay?” Ed blinked. One would have thought that Ed had been on his case all day about it. “Thanks for not telling the old fart about what happened...” Havoc continued in a bit of a subdued voice.

 

“Yeah sure,” Ed muttered, then said, “I'm still mad at you for being an asshole today.”

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

“I'm still mad at you too,” Jean said around the cigarette in his mouth. Truthfully, he wasn't sure who he was mad at anymore, though right now that didn't seem to matter. “But...” He paused, and when the kid looked over at him, he said, “That last thing you did. Backing down...”

 

Jean studied Ed for a moment. It must have killed Ed's pride to do what he had... “It was the right thing,” Jean said finally. “You're never going to win going head to head with Hakuro. You have to know when to back out so that you can fight another day, and you did that. I never would have expected you to, but you did.” He paused, took a drag, then said quietly, “Sort of reminded me of the colonel, in a way. That's something he would do...”

 

Ed swallowed and the eye not covered by the icepack blinked rapidly. Looking away, Ed took a deep drag, slowly blew out the smoke, then said quietly, “Thanks...”

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Sheska made her way through the aisles of the library, looking at the spines of the books as she went. Her mind wandered and she thought of how good it had been to see Ed again, though she'd felt bad for bumping into him. She smiled a little at how nice he'd looked in the uniform and with his hair pulled up. She hadn't seen him for a while and really he looked great, and different!

 

Of course, seeing him made her remember that it had been a while since she'd called Winry. The two of them usually kept in touch, but since Winry had gone back to Rizembool with Ed and Al, they'd sort of lost contact. Too much going on...

 

Making a mental note to call Winry soon, Sheska moved to the next aisle, then stopped when she heard voices.

 

“I think we should change the plan,” the first voice, a male, said.

 

“Do you really think he knows?” a second male said.

 

There was a moment of silence before, “I think so. Besides, the public is getting anxious. The longer we wait to make a statement, the worse the press is going to make it out to be.”

 

Sheska held her breath, wondering what the two men were talking about, but afraid to know at the same time.

 

“I say we just get rid of him,” the second man said.

 

“It's too late. Too many people have seen him. I told you we should have taken him somewhere else to...” But the voice faded away as the men beyond the shelf walked away from her.

 

Bringing her thumb to her mouth, Sheska chewed lightly on the nail. It sounded like she'd heard some sort of plot, but... She shook her head. She hadn't heard enough to really make anything out anyway. Continuing her search, she tried to put the conversation out of her mind.

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Ed walked slowly down the sidewalk. In one hand he carried a package with a new military dress jacket and a daily wear jacket—he'd traded in the one he'd been wearing and was now wearing a new one with the stars of a lieutenant colonel—the other hand was pressing yet another icepack to his eye, and a cigarette was hanging limply between his lips.

 

He was pretty sure he looked a little rough, though the military uniform seemed to do a lot to make him look respectable since he only elicited a few odd glances from `normal-looking' people.

 

Passing a public garbage can, Ed dumped the icepack in the trash and continued walking. He'd definitely spent enough time icing it, and holding the damn thing to his eye was uncomfortable and inconvenient. Ed stopped, took one last drag on the cigarette, and, pulling it out of his mouth, he backed up a couple of steps and tossed that into the garbage as well, then began walking again and looked up at the sky.

 

It was still light, but in another hour the sun would be down. Sighing heavily, Ed continued on toward home. He was so tired... It was as if the last couple of days had actually spanned a year... He also hadn't slept much the night before, and all he wanted now was to get some sleep.

 

It was hard to believe that it had only been yesterday that he'd come back from Dublith. Just yesterday that he'd learned about what happened to Roy... The last twenty-four to forty-eight hours had given him the ride of his life. He'd learned that Roy had been shot and could be dead, barged in on the fuhrer, made all his co-workers...subordinates...angry with him, been punched in the eye by someone he trusted, made a shit-load of enemies, been told that Roy loved him, learned a whole hell-of-a-lot more about chess than he ever wanted to know, been promoted, been written up, actually held his temper and humbled himself when he'd normally lash out, and reconciled with most of his subordinates.

 

Just the thought of it all made him feel exhausted, and he instinctively pulled out another cigarette. At least it was Friday... At least tomorrow he could sleep in and, at least temporarily, forget about this whole mess. Maybe he could spend the day dreaming about Roy...

 

Ed stopped at an intersection. This was where he turned, crossed the road, and went right, but if he just kept going straight, to the other side of the road, he'd be at the cemetery...

 

Taking a deep drag, Ed breathed the smoke out of his nose as he went straight. Maybe he'd go visit Hughes tonight... As depressing as the thought was that Roy could soon have a marker at the cemetery, he just felt drawn to it... It had been far too long since he visited Hughes's grave anyway...

 

When he got to the gate, Ed hesitated. Taking one last drag, he flicked the cigarette away. For some reason it just seemed disrespectful to smoke here, and, besides, he felt uncomfortable smoking at Hughes's grave anyway... Probably because he knew that Hughes wouldn't approve...

 

Walking through the gate that surrounded the cemetery, Ed put a hand up and shielded his eyes against the low sun as he made his way toward Hughes's grave. As he drew near, he stopped and bit hesitantly on his bottom lip.

 

Gracia Hughes was standing in front of the grave, her back toward him, and Ed wasn't sure if he wanted to interrupt the private moment. Backing away a couple steps, Ed turned and started walking back toward the gate, but stopped when he heard his name called. Looking back, Ed saw Gracia beckoning him toward her.

 

“I didn't want to intrude,” he said quietly as he came up beside her.

 

“Don't be silly,” she said with a small smile. “You're always welcome.”

 

“Thanks...” he murmured, and turned his attention to the grave. When he saw the small flower placed on the stone, he suddenly felt awful for not bringing something to put on the grave as well. He hadn't really thought about it, and now it was too late.

 

“I haven't seen you in a while,” she said.

 

“Eh... well, I've actually been away...” he said. Actually, Ed didn't think he'd seen her since before he went to Rizembool. She'd been so kind to let Al and Winry stay with her... Ed instantly felt ungrateful. He should have visited... Chancing a glance at her, Ed saw that she was looking at him with a small smile.

 

“Well, it's been so long that I almost didn't recognize you... This is the first time I've seen you in a uniform, and your hair is up in a ponytail instead of a braid, and my goodness...” She stepped back slightly and eyed him up and down. “I think you've grown at least an inch since the last time I saw you,” she said and as much as he tried to hide it, a pleased grin broke out on his face. Gracia's own smile widened and she said, “That's what I'm used to seeing.” At that, he laughed and shook his head. “You laugh, but you didn't see how glum you looked,” she said.

 

“It's just been a loooong day,” he said, his grin beginning to fade.

 

“Hm... well, does this long day have to do with that horrible looking bruise on your face?” she asked in concern. He reached up and gently touched his eye. The surrounding area was tender to the touch and he knew that he'd bruised up pretty bad.

 

“Yeah... kinda...” he murmured and looked back at the grave.

 

“What happened?” she asked worriedly.

 

He was quiet for a moment before saying, “Walked into a door...” When he got no response, Ed glanced back at her and saw that her arms were folded and she was giving him a skeptical look.

 

“And does this door have a name?” she asked, raising her eyebrow.

 

Giving her a sheepish grin he said, “Yeah, but we sort of worked it out, so don't worry. It's fine now.”

 

Gracia made an exasperated sound and shook her head. As she looked back at the stone, Ed thought he heard her mutter, “men,” but he wasn't quite sure.

 

Looking back at Hughes's gravestone, Ed let his mind wander to Roy. He didn't want to be standing in front of Roy's grave like this. Just the though made him want to curl up in a ball and cry.

 

“How do you stand it...” he asked quietly. “How do you stand the pain and the loneliness?” It was a hard question, but he couldn't help asking. If Roy was dead...

 

It was several minutes before she spoke, but when she did, her voice was full of emotion. “I just take it one day at a time. I come here every day to visit him, but of course it's not the same... He left me a beautiful little girl; and even though she's grown so much since then, sometimes I still imagine him playing with her. Sometimes... she still asks for him, but I can't give him back to her...”

 

She sniffled a little, then went on. “But there are times, usually at night when I'm in bed alone, that it's the hardest. When I reach over, he's not there... Even though I know he won't be, I still feel hurt and disappointed every time. Sometimes, when the loneliness is really bad, I cry myself to sleep... and sometimes... sometimes I dream of him... and when the dream is over, I cry because he's not really there, and I know that he never will be.”

 

Ed glanced at her and saw a tear trickle slowly down her face. It sparkled a little as the light from the setting sun caught it, and he instantly felt tears in his own eyes. He knew that pain... he knew of that kind of pain, but to have lived with it for so long...

 

“I don't know that I really `deal' with it, Ed. I just try to go on living the best I can...” she said, her voice filled with grief. He swallowed hard and, blinking, stepped closer to her and touched her arm to show he was there, to be some sort of a support.

 

“Does it ever get any easier?” he asked, then felt a tear escape his own eye.

 

“A little... with time... but...” She paused, then, wiping the tears roughly away, she whispered, “I'm sorry... I'm so embarrassed...”

 

“Don't be...” Ed said, trying to blink the new tears away. “I'm the one who's sorry. It was... I should have thought before asking... It's just... The two of you had the most perfect marriage I've ever seen, and I just...” He just couldn't imagine losing someone who he'd loved that much...

 

It had been obvious Maes and Gracia Hughes had been deeply in love, and truthfully, Ed was a little jealous. Havoc had said that Roy loved him, but he and Roy had never had what Hughes and Gracia had, and Ed wondered if maybe it was his fault...

 

Maybe his relationship with Roy hadn't been as good because he hadn't loved Roy... Did he love Roy? He really didn't know. He loved Al, and he'd loved his mom, but that was different. Sure, he liked Roy a lot. Roy was smart and they had intelligent conversations. Ed was attracted to him and wanted to have sex with him one hundred times a day, but was that love? Ed didn't think so... He wanted to know what love was—to be in love with someone—but he just didn't know. He wanted to believe what he felt for Roy was love, he wanted to return Roy's feelings, but he just didn't know...

 

“We didn't have a perfect marriage,” Gracia said finally. “No one ever has a perfect relationship. Everyone has their ups and downs, but that's normal.” She chuckled a little. “He always left his clothes on the floor in the bathroom and it drove me crazy. No matter how many times I told him not to, he still did it...” She paused, and Ed glanced at her. A small, but sad, smile was spread out over her face. “And for the longest time I would badger him about what he was doing at work. He'd never tell me because it was `classified', but it really got on his nerves sometimes.”

 

Ed frowned and said, “He should have told you.” But then, he was biased. He'd had the same problem with Roy...

 

Gracia shook her head. “He was trying to protect me... and Elysia, when she came. He did it because he cared... I knew that, but...” She shook her head again and sniffled.

 

The world became slightly colder as the last ray of the sun disappeared, and Ed shivered a little. He felt so guilty... Roy had probably been trying to protect him too... But what good had it done? Roy was gone and Hughes was dead...

 

“Those are just little things,” Ed said dismissively. “Besides those, the two of you had a great marriage. I'm sure you never yelled at each other or got in big fights.” He knew his voice was a little bitter, but it was hard to not let his emotions show through. Why couldn't he and Roy have had something like that?

 

“Oh, Edward...” she said in a quiet, mournful voice. “We did... In fact, there was a time that I almost left him...”

 

“What?” Ed said in surprise. He couldn't believe that. “Why?” he blurted.

 

“He did... something... was a part of something... before we were married,” she said in a low tone. Her voice held a note of bitterness to it, and Ed wondered if even now it was something that bothered her. “When I found out... I was hurt and angry... hurt and angry that it had happened, and also because he'd never told me. When I found out, it was... well, I know he didn't mean for me to find out, but one thing led to another and...” She shook her head and trailed off.

 

Ed wanted to ask about it even though he knew it was none of his business, and as he debated whether or not to ask for details, she went on. “We got through it; that's what matters. Those dark times make you really appreciate the good times. It's during those times that you either break apart or become more strongly bonded together. That's what makes it good, Ed. It's being willing to work through it; willing to talk things through... It's both of you being willing to make changes, and being willing to work with each other despite your faults and downfalls.”

 

He nodded miserably. All of the things that he and Roy hadn't done. Oh... well, Roy had been willing to talk about it all... He'd wanted to do that before Ed left; but he'd been too stubborn...

 

“I wish...” Ed began, then stopped and shook his head.

 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Gracia looking at him kindly in the fading light. “You'll find someone. Just give it time.”

 

Ed gave her a small smile and said, “It's not that... it's that, I kinda do have someone, but we had a fight and now I can't talk to...” He almost said `him', but instead said, “them.”

 

Gracia's lips turned into a frown and Ed suddenly thought that she knew. She knew about him and Roy, and she didn't approve at all, but then the thought was gone. There was no way she could know. He was just being paranoid.

 

“Well...” she said in a non-committal tone. “I'm sure it will all work out one way or another...” Reaching around his shoulders, she gave him a squeeze before saying, “It's getting dark. Perhaps we should head out. I need to pick up Elysia from my mother.”

 

Ed nodded and started walking with her. He felt like he'd said something wrong and wondered if he should ask her about it, but before he could, she said, “So, do you want pie or cake?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“For your birthday, silly,” she said in a tone he was more used to from her. “It's your birthday next week, and I couldn't possibly not make you something.”

 

He blinked, then realized that, yes, it was his birthday next week. Mason had talked about giving him a party in Dublith earlier that week, but it seemed ages ago that it had happened.

 

“Oh, well, you don't have to make me anything. I don't want to bother you with it,” he said as they walked through the gate and out of the cemetery.

 

“Not make you something for your eighteenth birthday? I don't think so,” she said in a mock `aghast' tone. “Besides, I'm already making something for Elysia, so it's no trouble at all.”

 

“Well...” he said, trying to make a decision.

 

“I know, how about you come over for dinner tonight? I always make too much anyway, and it will be good to not have leftovers for once.”

 

Ed opened his mouth to protest, then closed it and nodded. It was obvious that she wanted the company, and truthfully, it would probably do him some good too. After all, the only thing waiting for him at home was an empty apartment and the ghost of yesterday to keep him company.

 

;-;-;-;-;-;-;

 

Riza brought the comb through her hair again when a knock sounded on her front door. Frowning, she put the comb down. Who would be coming over at this time of the night? Grabbing her robe off the hook on the bathroom door, she put it on and started for the front door. Before she got there, Riza glanced over to the table where her pistol lay, and, in a moment of caution, she retrieved it.

 

Walking to the door, Riza lifted the gun up, and said loudly, “Who is it?”

 

“It's me,” a familiar voice said.

 

Riza let out a sigh of relief, and, opening the door as far as the safety chain would allow, said, “What are you doing here?”

 

“I need to talk to you,” Lieutenant Havoc said quickly, his voice pitched low.

 

She frowned and made no move to undo the safety chain. “I think we've talked enough for one day, lieutenant.”

 

“Look,” he said in quiet irritation. “Me and Ed talked. We both agreed that he was being a shit, so we're fine now.”

 

Riza raised an eyebrow. “Only Ed?”

 

“Okay... I was too...” he conceded. “Now will you let me in?”

 

“I'm sure that whatever it is that you have to say can be said at the office,” she said not wanting to give him the wrong idea by letting him in this late at night. She already had a feeling he wanted to ask her out and she didn't want to encourage him.

 

Moving close to the door, Havoc whispered urgently, “No, it can't wait. I need to know what to do. Are we still following Mustang's orders, or should we abandon the plan in favor of something else?”

 

She stared at him for a moment before closing the door, undoing the chain, and opening the door wide. Sticking her head outside, she looked around before beckoning him inside. He was right. They did need to talk...

 

--

 

1 - girls

2 - `colonel' can be used as an abbreviation for `lieutenant colonel'

 

Big kudos to my awesome beta Masamune Reforged.

 

--

 

Please Review.