Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Fullmetal Alchemist: Revised Version ❯ Battle on the Train ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

pickabugtolove: R-r-r-really!?!?! -blush- MAN! I didn't think someone loved it this much!!!!!! XD

Arigatou!!! ^____^

SAA! This chapter's sure to make you guys laugh! Enjoy!

Summary: Ed and Winry return to Central for their report. Only to take a hijacked train. Can they save the general? Can they rescue everyone? Can anyone throw up some suggestions for Ed's antenna's name?

FIND OUT!!!

Anime/Manga: Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Adventure / Action / Romance / Fantasy / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 01.22.2007 | Pages: 15 | Words: 10.4K | Visits: 361 | Status: Work In Progress

Disclaimer: FMA? T'ain't mine to begin with. Otherwise, it would have been like THIS.

A/N: Aaah! Sorry for the lateness! XD;

And someone finally got the answer for my question: Inuyasha played a part for my inspiration. Yes. :) It's thanks to the old crone who resurrected Kikyou, and Kikyou herself for that aspiring method of creating life.

Now, onto the chappie!

Yippee! We get to test if Winry's style is to be the “damsel in distress” rather than “Lara Croft”! Or something to that imagination. XD

Note: My ever-changing style of writing seems to be the influence of one ibshafer. Ibshafer-san, we love you. XD

Interlude

“The hijacked train is the 04804 Limited Express from New Optain. The fugitives responsible are radicals going by the name of `Blue Group'.”

“Any declaration?”

A shuffling of papers.

“A rather spirited one came in. Do you want to read it?”

A tired sigh.

“No thanks. It's definitely going to be insulting to us anyway.”

“Quite correct.”

At Central Headquarters, a situation too delicate to ignore was being taken into the hands of several of the most prestigious officials of the National Army. And into the assembly room marched one of the finest officials, followed by a very loyal subordinate.

The Colonel and the First Lieutenant.

“They're demanding the release of their imprisoned leader.”

“As usual. So…is the general really on board?”

The question was answered by another official, Sergeant Vard Falman. “We're still trying to confirm that, but yes, it's possible.”

The Colonel rubbed the back of his neck in mild exasperation. “Well, that's going to be a problem. And I had a date tonight too.”

“Have overtime with us once in a while.” a bulky man by the name of Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda informed him, waving a mug in the air. “With crappy tea…”

The dark-haired man cupped his chin in thought. “One possibility is to sacrifice the general, and the case will wrap itself up…”

“Please don't say anything foolish, Colonel.” young Private Cain Fuery implored, handing him a sheet of paper. “This is the passenger list.”

The Colonel studied it with Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc looking over his shoulder. “Ah. Old man Halcrow really is riding with his family.”

“Good grief.” the Colonel grumbled. “He knows how unsteady things are over here, but he takes a vacation at a time like this…”

Then his eye caught something else on the list. And he couldn't help but smirk, knowing they could sit back on this one.

“Gentlemen. It looks like we can leave earlier today than we thought.”

Everyone in the room turned to look at the Colonel with equally puzzled expressions. Until he added, “The Fullmetal Alchemist is on board.”

Fullmetal Alchemist

Chapter 4: Battle on the Train

Edward Elric.

Age, fifteen.

Given name, Fullmetal Alchemist.

Rank, Major.

Reputation, child prodigy.

Current status…

“Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…”

Asleep.

“Ed…!” Winry hissed in his ear. One hand was clutching his coat and shaking him vigorously, the other held tightly to a stick of chalk. “Ed, wake up!”

Said alchemist snoozed, probably never to wake up till Armageddon. Walking along the row behind them, a set of armed thugs were “ushering” the passengers back to their seats. Those who tried to object got the royal treatment. And they were coming closer to where the two alchemists were sitting.

“Ed, wake up already!” Winry almost wanted to yell at him. But she didn't think noise was appreciated at this time especially with gun-toting criminals on board their train.

Machine gun-toting criminals.

In this situation, both teenagers would've armed themselves with at least 2 or more weapons, preferably sharp and metallic, and raised a wall as their defense. The weapons would be the products of Ed's handiwork. Winry, for lack of imagining a weapon vicious enough to kill(which she'd rather not), preferred to form the wall for them both, either one of stone or a metal shield. This was how Edward and Winry worked when it came to strategy. He took the offensive stance, and she held their defense.

Right now, Winry could do with a nice, thick, bulletproof safeguard, if she could just first rouse the major/tactician/artillerist from their nap. Which in this case, was almost as time-consuming as making a complex alchemy circle containing more than 20 figures. And they didn't have enough time. So now if Edward would just come back to reality and stop dreaming about omelettes dancing the Cancan on his plate.

“Ed—“

A hand clapped on the head of his seat and Winry gasped audibly.

Too late!

“You can sleep pretty well in a situation like this, kid.” the armed thug leaned on his elbow, leering at the sleeping alchemist. Then his gaze fell on Winry, and his brows knit. “You! Get back in your seat!”

Winry, caught between obeying the order and taking the offensive position(thus increasing the chances of ending her not-so-quite life), settled for the first option and scrambled to sit back in her place, quickly tucking the hand that held the chalk inside her jacket.

“Hey!” the gunman was now poking at Ed's face with the barrel of his rifle. “Hey, wake up!”

As Ed's response was another snore and some incoherent mumbling, Winry was beginning to have second thoughts about him under the missing-in-action mode as a train of thought floated into her head, reading something along the lines of, “Flexibility leads to victory if we bend our heads and stay resilient”, while “He sleeps too much and I'm too ignorant to not see the cuteness” was mingling somewhere there, and Winry couldn't even tell if she'd actually thought that or not.

Ed's lack of conformity ticked the man off. “…You…why don't you act a bit more like a hostage you…

“SHRIMP!”

Time slowed down, and Winry saw the name fall from the man's lips so slowly, dragging every vowel and consonant out of his mouth. Then time resumed its pace again.

And the next thing she knew, a heavy boot slammed down on the floor of the car, and an active Ed moved off his seat. Winry, wide-eyed and glued helplessly to the spot, swore she could almost see that familiar dark cloud labeled “MURDER” looming over his head. Unfortunately, the thug didn't know what was in store for him. So sad is his fate, is what we can just say.

“Huh.” he scoffed, pointing the barrel at Ed. “You got any complaints?”

Two gloved hands clapped on the barrel and initiated the alchemical reaction, thus transforming the rifle's end into a curved horn, taking the thug back.

“WHAT THE HELL?”

But his second chance for speech was lost, as Ed's foot came in contact with the side of his face, thus knocking him out. Hard.

Winry squeaked when the man fell on his back near her own foot, and wondered if the Ed's-out-for-blood-so-don't-move-and-shut-your-trap warning sign was switched off now.

Ed stood, and silently eyed the second gunman aiming for his head. “Not bad, punk. We're told not to give mercy to anyone who resists us. Now I don't feel right about shooting a shrimp like you, but—“

“Aaaahh!” was the first thing that popped into Winry's head in a poor attempt to prevent chaos from ensuing. “Calm down, no fighting!”

“What?” the man yelled in reply to her. “You stay out of this, wench! Or you—“

BAM!

Two good things about that sound:

1) It had nothing to do with metal.

2) See above.

Needless to say, Ed's “float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” attack worked spectacularly against the gunman, his kneecap hitting the bull's eye in his opponent's face as he flew like a butterfly into the air.

What followed after that remains up to the reader's imagination. In layman terms, the crap-beating ensued.

“WHO THE HELL IS THE FLEA-SIZED ULTRA SHRIMP!”

The feeble protest of “I didn't say that much…!” was drowned out by the violent sounds of metal hitting flesh, the thug given no mercy. And everyone, passengers and ticket collectors alike, had the same thought running through their minds: What a monster…!

“Ed…” a weak plea from his childhood friend, by a miracle, calmed the storm or rather the monster in Ed, and she added, “He'll die if you do any more than that…”

The still somewhat sleepy alchemist ceased his tirade with a quiet sigh, before turning back to Winry with a drowsy, “Anyway, who are these guys?”

She didn't know whether to punch him or…

…why did she always think about kissing?

-sss-

A minute later, both men, unarmed and tied up, either sat or lay on the floor of the train. The lay man(mind the pun) was the first offender, leaving the second man to be the stool pigeon of the situation.

“Other than us,” he confessed weakly, “there are two in the engine room, four holding the general in the first class car, and four of us are guarding the hostages spread throughout the passenger cars.”

“And?” In spite of the “cheerful” mood Ed was in, the gloved fist that came up spelled out the twenty-two different ways to kill a man bare-handed, and the thug panicked reading the obvious message.

“Eek! Really that's it!”

“There are still ten of them?” questioned a nervous woman.

“They'll retaliate if they find out about this…” a man added worriedly.

“If a certain somebody had acted calmly, this would have ended peacefully, right?”

Ed was quick to defend with a stubborn, “WE CAN'T MOVE ON IF WE ONLY REGRET THE PAST, WINRY!”

She sighed.

He grumbled, scratching his head. “Can't be helped. I'll take the top. Winry, you handle things down under.”

“Okay, okay…”

“Come on. When the worst comes, barriers are your specialty, right?”

A man stepped forward as Ed clambered onto the windowsill. “Hold on. J…just who are you kids?”

The boy genius showed his teeth through his trademark grin. “We're alchemists!”

“Even the girl?”

Winry rubbed the back of her neck, modesty coming over her. “Well, I—“

“Uwaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!”

“ED!” she screamed, seeing him fly out the window and cling for dear life to it. “Ed, are you okay?”

“THE WIND PRESSURE! THE WIND PRESSURE!”

Everyone en masse went, “We're worried…”

-sss-

Meanwhile in the other car, one of the guards was trying to communicate with the ones behind them. And found something weird.

“Huh. The guys in the back aren't picking it up.” he pushed the sliding door back. “I'm gonna take a look.”

“Roger.” confirmed his companion.

“…Shit. And we told them to call as planned…”

But then he made the mistake of looking up…and feasted his eyes on a ten-foot iron behemoth towering over him.

And because it's human nature to take a shot at whatever scares the bejesus out of them, he raised his machine gun and fired.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

And to a more appalling level, the thing spoke. “Wait! Watch out for the rico—“

POW!

A stray bullet embedded itself into his kneecap, and he fell to the floor in agony. “Oooww…”

“…chet.” the thing finished with a weak voice.

Then the door flew open again and the second thug came out, obviously hearing the racket. “Hey, what's—“

He stared at the monster before him. And once again, human instincts kicked in.

“G…WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” ;

“No waaaait!”

…I knew I shouldn't have made the shield look like this… the culprit thought somewhat regretfully.

-sss-

Meanwhile, Edward Elric sprinted and leapt across the roof towards the front of the train, hoping to retrieve control of the train before launching the rescue plan.

Just hope Winry's good to hold out…

-sss-

“Barud.”

Their leader, a rough-looking man with an eyepatch, looked up.

“The rear cars have stopped responding.” his lackey reported.

“What's going on?” asked another guarding the door.

The man Barud looked ahead with an impassive face. “Someone's on board.”

“Impossible! We took care of all the escorts and gained outside communication. The passengers can't call for anybody…”

“Were we sold out by the others?”

The general grimaced, listening to them talking. “Hmph. So you're a mixed bag of trash after all. Something unexpected happens, and it all falls apart soon after.

“Yes,” he went on, leering at their boss, “you won't have your way. So hurry up and think about surrendering. You worthless hoodlums!”

A gunshot, and a bullet penetrated General Halcrow's earlobe, and the gaping hole bled profusely to his and his family's horror.

“No more blabber.” Barud stated over Halcrow's yell of pain, an automail gun in the place where his left arm used to be. “Next time around, I'll make your asshole bigger.”

Sharp ears perked at a sound above his head, followed by a series of supposed footsteps making their way towards the front of the train. Without hesitation, Barud fired one bullet. It struck a light and went straight to the roof.

“Ouch!” followed by another “clunk”.

Barud sat back down. “A rat. Check the top.”

-sss-

“Wah! Too close! Too close!” Ed leapt off the roof and fell back on the rail to take a closer inspection of the bullet. Luckily, it wasn't skin it sunk into.

“I would have been a goner, if it wasn't my left foot.” he grumbled, having removed his boot and staring at the bullet lodged into the groove of his metal sole. Now Ed was pissed. “Dammit! They're gonna pay for this! First up is to recapture the engine room!”

Dashing to the front, Ed poked his head in to scout. Only two henchmen were guarding the engineers.

Hah. Too easy.

With the bullet still in his possession, he chucked it inside, where it bounced on the floor at one of the thugs' feet.

“Huh? A lead bullet…?” he picked it up with puzzlement.

“Where did that come from?” asked the other closest to the window.

Ed saw his chance. He kicked the back of the man's head, slamming him into one of the pipes and knocking a tooth out. Deftly, Ed landed on the floor in a crouched position, prepared for the second battle with the other thug, who rounded on him with a glare.

“Son of a—!“

Apologetically, too many people have had their words cut off in the production of this series.

But what was I saying? Oh yeah.

CLANK!

The henchman got himself “shoveled” by the engineer closest to him, followed by the other as they proceeded to rain him with a series of blows using shovel power. Much to Ed's surprise yet relief, and he gave them the thumbs-up.

“Anyway we can help?” the second engineer asked him.

“Just drive safely!”

Ed climbed back up onto the roof to get to rescuing the general's family. Only to meet the end of a rifle, and at the trigger…

“There you are, rat!”

The bald thug fired at the alchemist, who fell back just in time.

“That…is…” Ed growled, hands clapping, “DANGEROUS, YOU ASSHOLE!”

Within a second, the thug, to his horror, was sent back by a cannonball the size of a…eh…a human cannonball.

“Hey!” the engineer leaned out the window to scold Ed. “What do you think you're doing to the tender? That's the life of the train!”

“Ah! Sorry!”

Then the wheels in Ed's head started to turn as a diagram of the train popped into his brain. “Hm? The tender…?”

And it became clear to him that the tender carried not just oil, but water in it.

Knocking on the car he was sitting on, he hatched a scheme.

-sss-

Meanwhile, with Winry moving around the cars toting a metal shield in the form of a ten-foot monster, every thug guarding every car did as all the others in their place had: shoot the monster, and then feel the upshot of their own bullets. Man was getting what it deserved for developing weapons of mass destruction.

Maybe I should stop now… was what Winry was starting to think.

Until three more henchmen yelled and with machine guns armed, opened fire on the Iron Giant-rip off that was her creation, and she backtracked on her recent thought. And none of the men so far, ever had a clue that it was a fifteen-year old girl behind it all.

Ed, please hurry up!

-sss-

“Barud! That ain't no rat!” the thug gasped lying on the floor, shaking. “I don't really get it, but there's this freak up on top!”

The boss scowled. What the hell is going on…?

“Hey car two, what's going on?” one of his men called up the second car. “HEY!”

The receiver buzzed, and a man's panicked voice answered. “Help! A metal monster is…!”

“Metal monster? What the hell are you—?“

“AH…!”

Then…

“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

The man held the receiver away from his ear and stared at it with a mix of confusion and fear.

Amazingly, the person at the other end managed to say, “I'm dyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing…” before passing out. Everyone, hostages and criminals, looked uncomfortable.

Then a grinding noise came from behind them, and turned to see…

…An Ed-speaker.

“Nyu!” said the Ed-speaker appearing on the wall overhead.

Everyone stared with equally blank expressions.

“What is that…?” a thug asked no one in particular.

Then it squawked, and Ed's voice came through. “Testing…testing…okay. Attention all criminals. We have recaptured the engine room and the rear cars, leaving this one to be the last to claim. Please release the hostages and surrender yourselves. Failure to do so will force us to resort to more drastic measures.”

His arrogance infuriated Barud.

“Fuck off!” he retorted with a snarl. “I don't know who you are, but as long as we have hostages, we can't lose!”

The Ed-speaker sighed. “Oh dear me. Still full of that fighting spirit. Too bad negotiations have failed.”

Following those words, a long metal tube emerged from the wall below the speaker, pointing directly at the fugitives, and one of them recognized it for what it was.

“A water pipe…?”

“All hostages, please hide behind shelter.” the Ed-speaker chirped merrily.

And Ed turned the valve.

“RUN A—“ was the last thing Barud managed to say, before he and his lackeys were swept away by the rushing water pouring from the pipe. Halcrow and his family, however, stayed safe inside their compartment, and the water swept them all into the second car, where Winry awaited with an iron cage just for them.

“Welcome.” she greeted, letting the water sweep the new prisoners into the cage, locking the door behind them with a relieved smile. “Well, that's a mission acc—“

A rough hand clamped over her mouth, and she was shocked to realize that not every one of the criminals had been caught.

“Not yet…!” a man's voice growled in her ear, frightening her. “I still have my trump hostage…!”

Then he froze. And Barud stared at the hand he was using to silence the girl, sensing the texture of her skin beneath his own. Was this flesh?

“…You…” he scowled at Winry, who leaned away from him in response, blue eyes wide with fear.

“You'd better let her go if you know what's good for you.”

Barud spun towards the newcomer, and the one responsible for his plan's sabotage. Ed entered through the ceiling and landed on all fours, throwing a dirty look at the man before he smirked.

“Oh? Another automail user?” he mused, transmuting the plate on his arm into a sharp blade. “Okay, buddy. How about letting my friend go?”

“Erm!” Winry's muffled cry alerted Barud to his situation, having been momentarily distracted by the fact that not only was Ed nothing more than a punk kid, but a punk equipped with automail.

“Tch…! You brat, you!” he snarled, discarding all logic and just thought about spilling blood.

Tossing Winry to the side, Barud lunged for the alchemist, gun arm in front. She fell hard on her stomach with a gasp, and Winry looked up just in time to see Ed slice through the metal.

“Huh. You're using some cheap goods.”

It was Winry's turn for a hit, and she landed a blow squarely in Barud's jaw with a kick. With that settled, the pair relaxed.

“You came just in time to save my neck.” Winry looked to her friend, beaming.

Ed rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh. “Sheesh. Be more careful next time, Winry.”

She crossed her arms over her chest in a pretend pout. “Well you came for me anyway. So that I'll thank you for at least.”

Ed gave her a strange look before he looked away. “Yeah…”

-sss-

“Yo. Fullmetal.”

A jovial Colonel greeted them both at the station, followed by his subordinate the First Lieutenant.

Ed's face morphed into one of disgust, but Winry managed to greet them both. “Oh, the Colonel and the First Lieutenant are here.”

In a nanosecond, the Colonel was at Winry's side, looking much happier. “Why, hello there Winry! I'm glad you're safe. I was worried about you, what with Fullmetal as a hit-and-miss kinda guy, after all.”

What Ed wouldn't give right now to take that bastard's egg-shaped head and crush it between his palms. Meanwhile, Winry was embarassed. Up close, she could really see the Colonel this dashing.

“Hello, Winry.” the First Lieutenant greeted her.

“It's nice to see you again, Miss Riza.”

“Should've stayed out of the Colonel's jurisdiction…” Ed grinded out, metal hand to his forehead.

His superior sighed. “As cold as usual…And…” he eyed the metal arm. “I see that the search for recovery hasn't been in your favor at all.”

Ed looked away, holding his arm to eye-level. “We've skimmed books but we didn't find anything…we wanna search through East City now, but without a lead…”

“I've heard rumors. It seems you've been busy.”

The shorter alchemist sweated, throwing the man a look. “You've got sharp ears as usual.”

The Colonel shrugged. “It's because you show off.”

“UWAH!”

A sharp cry of pain from the soldiers alerted them. The Blue Group's Barud was on his feet, with a hidden knife protruding from the remains of his automail arm.

“Ugh.” Ed groaned, an arm sticking out in front of Winry as if to shield her.

Promptly, the First Lieutenant drew her gun from its holster. “Colonel, please stay back.”

But a hand stopped her. “No worries, First Lieutenant. This should be fine.”

With a battle cry, Barud dashed for the Colonel, blade out in front of him. Unfazed, the Colonel lifted one gloved hand, fingers posed for a snap. Then he clicked. And a spark of energy shot out at the fugitive, who fell back when the air in front of him exploded. “GWAAAAAHHHH!”

Smoking, he fell to the ground in a heap, allowing his two escorts to restrain him again. With a grunt he was on his stomach.

“I went easy on you.” said the Colonel, standing over him. “If you're going to resist again, I'll turn you to ashes.”

Barud glared from his position. “You…what the hell are you?”

The Colonel seemed only too happy to introduce himself, even to a criminal.

“Roy Mustang. Ranked Colonel. And one more thing.” he smirked. “I'm the Flame Alchemist. Please remember that.”

End of Chapter 4

A/N: Well there you go. Fangirls of Roy scream. And now you have to wait another 3-4 weeks for me to get some time into my hands and type again. XD No worries, I'll try, I'll try.

And, in a fit of UTTER insanity, I decided to draw up spoofs. XP

OMAKE 1

Thug: Why don't you act more like a hostage you SHRIMP!

Ed: Zzzzzzzzzzzz…

Winry: …Ed?

Ed: Zzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Winry: -to Thug- Uh, try again.

Thug: -clears throat- HEY! I SAID WHY DON'T YOU ACT MORE LIKE A HOSTAGE, YOU SHRIMP!

Ed: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Winry: -blink blink-

Thug: -blink blink-

Ed: -then he wakes up of his own accord- I HATE LEMON PIE!

Winry and Thug: …?

OMAKE 2

Thug 1: -pushes door aside- Shit…and we told them to call as planned…

Then he looks up to see…

Thug 1: UWAAAAHHH, IT'S MICHAEL JACKSON! -fires a round of bullets-

MJ: Ooooh! -feels the ricochet off his spooky-white plastic face-

Thug 1: -bullet hits him- Uwaaaaahhhhhhh!

MJ: Oh YEAH! I WIN! -does the freaky zombie dance-

OMAKE 3

Ed: -throws rubber duckie into the engine room-

Rubber Duckie: -bounces on the floor with two squeaks-

Thug: Ooooh, rubber duckie! I always wanted one! W00t! -dashes off to the bathroom-

Ed: -slaps forehead- Noooo! That's my rubber duckie! -runs off after him-

OMAKE 4

Thug: There you are, rat! -fires rifle, and shoots off Ed's antenna-

Ed: -PISSED- YOU ASSHOLE! -summons a gatling gun and fires all over the place, aiming no one but hitting EVERYONE-

OMAKE 5

Thug 1: -through the radio- Help! Michael Jackson is—

Thug 2: Michael Jackson?

MJ: Whatsup?

Thug 1: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

MJ: OW! -moonwalks-

Thug 1: THAT'S MY LINE!

OMAKE 6

Wall sparks, and out of the wall comes…

The Michael Jackson-speaker!

MJ-speaker: Hit me!

Thugs: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

MJ-speaker: General, surrender yoh kids to me now!

General: …!

OMAKE 7

Winry: Well, that's a mission acc—

Barud: -grabs her- Barbie dolllll…

Winry: …!

Barud: -creepy tone- Me want Malibu Barbiiiiiiie…

Ed: -jumps down- HEY! That's MY Malibu Barbie!

OMAKE 8

Winry: You came just in time to save my neck. -beam-

Ed: I was going for your panties actually, but never mind.

Winry: …!

OMAKE 9

Roy: I see that the search for the Kama Sutra hasn't been in your favor at all.

Ed: WHAT! HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

Roy: -points at Ed's pants-

Ed: …YOU'RE SICK!

A/N: And I'M sick. XP