Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Lost ❯ The Sea ( Chapter 1 )

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Lost

 

1

 

The Sea

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Roy folded his arms and leaned against the heavy wooden post, looking out over the beach. Normally he loved to look at the ocean and see how the sun made the water sparkle and shimmer. There was just something about seeing the vastness of the sea extend out to what seemed like the end of the earth. The sound of the waves crashing against the sand... the boats... the wharf... It was normally so calming and peaceful...

 

Today though, the sun was blocked by a mass of gray clouds and the wet air felt heavier than usual. The sea didn't sparkle today. Instead it was dull, crashing almost angrily against the docks and the boats stationed there as if the sea were in a bad mood.

 

Perhaps it was.

 

Looking at the ocean was one thing, having to actually get on a boat and sail on it was another. Roy didn't much care for the rocking of boats, but today he was sailing whether he liked it or not. The sailors didn't seem too thrilled about sailing today either, but they all seemed to agree that the weather would out blow itself without too much of a storm.

 

A small lock of his black bangs fluttered against the corner of his eye and he reached up and absentmindedly brushed at it. The normally soft fine hair, stiff and gritty feeling in the salty breeze.

 

Roy sighed. He hadn't wanted to be the ambassador to the country on Amestris's western side, but it had gotten him a lovely promotion, so he'd agreed. He'd been gone over three years and now he was going home. It wouldn't be the same, he knew. He'd matured in a way he'd never thought possible. He no longer had the driving urge to become Fuhrer, which was good given that there was no Fuhrer anymore. He'd learned not to procrastinate what had to be done. This was something Hawkeye would be surprised at, if she ended up working under him again. He was more thoughtful, and not as quick to react.

 

He turned his face to feel the cool, salty breeze and breathed it in deeply. He'd never known the sea before this assignment, and he'd come to love being around it. Now he was going back to the city, then maybe back to the East. Back to sand and rocks, back to the dry sterile heat of the country he'd grown up in. Soon he'd board the ship and make the voyage back, and now that it was time, he wasn't sure he wanted to go...

 

Roy opened his eyes and scanned his surrounding taking in the docked boats, the wharf, the sand... Suddenly his gaze caught on someone standing on one of the docks and his breath stopped for a moment.

 

The person was on the short side, with long hair pulled into a ponytail. A full red coat with a black flamel drawn on the back sat on a lanky frame, and both the hair and the coat fluttered slightly in the salty breeze. Roy's heart pounded in his chest as he stepped away from the post he'd been leaning on and started walking toward the dock.

 

As he got closer, Roy realized with a sinking feeling that the long hair was a sandy color, not golden... It had been five years since Ed had disappeared and for a moment Roy wanted to believe that was him, and rush to his side.

 

But he knew it wasn't.

 

He'd heard, in passing, that Alphonse had taken to being his brother's reflection and was searching for him. Seeing the boy by himself caused Roy's heart to drop. If he was alone, then that meant he hadn't found his brother yet...

 

Roy sighed and almost turned away. He didn't want to deal with the pain of facing an Alphonse who didn't remember him or look at someone dressed so similar to Ed, but he didn't. He couldn't. Not now when he was so close. Alphonse may not have been his physical lover, but emotionally...

 

His boots made a clunking noise as he walked across the wooden dock to where the teen was standing. As he approached, Roy studied him more closely. He'd never seen Alphonse Elric in his body and it was a rather intriguing sight. Alphonse, probably fifteen if his calculations were correct, may have been wearing Ed's clothes, but he was definitely not Ed. The younger of the two Elrics had a taller, thinner frame than Ed had at that age. Despite Ed's lack of height, he'd been well built, so the clothes didn't quite sit right on Alphonse's lanker frame and it was obvious that the pants had been extended to fit his, now taller, body.

 

Alphonse turned and glanced at him as he approached, and Roy could see that he had a gentleness in his face that Ed had lacked. Oh, Ed had possessed a kind soul but he held himself differently. He'd had a tougher exterior. A prideful stubbornness that radiated from him like light from the sun, and what he'd shared with Ed had been just as brilliant and passionate.

 

With Alphonse, he'd shared a different kind of passion. It had been cool and subdued. They had talked, and shared ideas. He'd given the other Elric brother a different part of himself, an intellectual and emotional part that hadn't been blocked by their physical differences.

 

Perhaps that's why he'd been so reluctant to go see the boy when he'd heard what had happened. That part of him had been lost with his memory, just as much as Edward was physically lost. He couldn't have expected him to have the same understanding and depth that he'd had during those years...

 

“Good morning,” Roy said loudly over the sounds of the sea and the nearby sailors.

 

The teen quickly looked him up and down, taking in his military uniform, before saying, “Good morning to you too, sir.”

 

A soft smile touched Roy's lips. During the time that Alphonse's soul had resided inside of the armor, his voice had never altered. It had always remained that of a ten-year-old. Now, however, the boy's voice had changed. It was very similar, yet deeper and more mature. It also lacked the hollowness it had possessed during those former years.

 

Suddenly, Roy regretted refusing to visit the Elric boy after Ed's disappearance. This Alphonse didn't know him at all, and it suddenly saddened him to think he'd been so neglectful of his emotional lover, even if the teen had no memory of him.

 

Alphonse continued to stare at him expectantly and finally Roy said, “The sea is a beautiful woman, isn't she.”

 

The teen cocked his head, giving him a look that said he thought Roy was a bit off his rocker. “I suppose so, but beautiful women tend to be dangerous if favorable winds aren't blowing for them...”

 

Roy looked down at the teen in surprise, then laughed. It was an answer he would have expected from Alphonse... from before... “Very insightful,” he said, then gazed out over the water. Perhaps the boy hadn't changed as much as he'd thought... Perhaps... He was silent for a time, then asked, “Have you found what you're looking for?”

 

He felt, more than saw, Alphonse's head snap up before the teen said quietly, “No...”

 

“I see...” Roy murmured, a feeling of disappointment washing over him. He hadn't realized until that moment that he'd had his hopes up. It would have been wonderful to have Ed back in his arms again. Not only that, but perhaps if he got to know this Alphonse, they could have something like they'd had before... Together, the two brothers had fulfilled him. Ed had given him what he needed physically, and Alphonse had been what he'd needed emotionally.

 

He watched the waves in silence for a time and finally he glanced back down at Alphonse. The teen was watching him with large, liquid-brown eyes and when the boy saw that he had Roy's attention, he asked hopefully, “Do you know me...?”

 

Roy stared down at the teen without expression for a moment. How cruel life was... He could lie, but the Alphonse he'd known treasured the truth and wouldn't appreciate getting anything but that. “No,” he whispered. “I don't know you.”

 

“Oh...” Alphonse said disappointedly, then turned his attention to the boats.

 

Roy watched him for a moment. Alphonse's long hair, tangled and a bit stiff from the salty spray, whipped around in the strengthening wind, and some of it blew across the teen's face. “I once knew someone like you, though,” he said softly. Alphonse turned his head again, causing the hair to blow back behind him, and stared up at him hopefully. “His soul was attached to a suit of armor,” Roy continued. “And he traveled with his older brother. That person, I knew quite well...” He trailed off for a moment before whispering, “But, I'm ashamed to say that I don't know you.”

 

Hurt filled the teen's eyes and he looked away. “I see...”

 

The sound of a boat whistle caught Roy's ears and he said, “I suppose it's time for me to go. Good luck with your search.” He turned and started walking away, but stopped when he heard the teen call to him.

 

“Wait.” Roy turned and with a pleading look, Alphonse said, “Will you tell me your name? Please?”

 

Not an unreasonable request, and definitely one to be understood, but suddenly Roy didn't want to give his name. He wanted to remain anonymous in Alphonse's life. He didn't know if he could handle being known by the teen in such a passing way. Turning around, he took a few steps, then stopped. It was cruel of him to leave like that and not give him such a small thing. Truly it was... Alphonse deserved more from him, but he was only asking that small little bit. He glanced back at the teen and said softly, “Roy Mustang.”

 

He saw Alphonse's eyes widen a little, but turned around and started walking away before anything more could be said. He didn't know what Alphonse knew about him, and he didn't want to know. It was better that way. Better not to get involved because it hurt so much to see Alphonse standing before him like that, looking so much like Edward and sounding so much like his old self...

 

He wanted to reach out and hold him close. He wanted to kiss him and be with him in the way he had with Ed.

 

But this was Alphonse, and not even the Alphonse that he knew.

 

He wasn't Edward.

 

He could never be Edward.

 

Perhaps, if fate was willing, he could have what he'd had with Alphonse again, but to try getting from the teen what he'd had with his brother would be unfair. It would be asking too much, when he already had nothing.

 

No.

 

Better just to walk away.

 

Better just to forget.

 

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