Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Lost ❯ Glass Moon ( Chapter 2 )

 

 

Lost

 

2

 

Glass Moon

 

 

Alphonse leaned heavily against the side of the large boat and stared dully down into the deep water below the ship. The ocean crashed dully against the boat as it moved ever forward to its destination, and he felt slightly comforted by the rocking of the boat. He let his gaze move away from the water near the boat to the sea beyond. The full moon reflected brightly down on the water, causing it to sparkle. It was beautiful. Mesmerizing...

 

He sighed and laid his cheek against the wood, letting his eyes follow the small lines in the lumber. He'd followed the man without thinking and now he was on a ship set for Amestris. It hadn't been his intention, but... He'd heard the name `Roy Mustang' before in passing. He knew the man had been his brother's commanding officer, but other than that, he knew nothing. From time to time, he'd entertained the idea of visiting the man, but he'd never gone through with it.

 

Alphonse traced a gloved finger over the heavy wood of the ship as he thought. During the time he was in Rizembool, and then in Dublith, many people had come to see him. People he didn't know, but people who had known him from before and had wanted him to know they were there for him if he needed anything.

 

Roy Mustang was the one person who hadn't done that, and he remembered hearing Winry say some very unkind words about the man in regard to that, but at the time he hadn't really cared. He didn't know this `Mustang' character, and if he didn't want to visit, it didn't bother him.

 

Now though... Now he'd seen the man... He'd talked, however briefly, with him and now Alphonse was incredibly curious. Over the past five years, he'd had some distant belief that perhaps his brother and his commanding officer hadn't gotten along, that they'd hated each other. This provided a very plausible explanation as to why the man wouldn't want to see him. But when he'd talked with Mustang today...

 

Those black eyes hadn't spoken of hate, but of caring and worry. The man's voice had been filled with regret, and Al was sure that it wasn't only for the fact that Ed hadn't been found. In that moment, he thought that perhaps this man hadn't come to see him because he cared too much. It made him ashamed for some of the things he'd believed about him...

 

So here he was, on this ship... He'd quickly paid for a common bunk before they'd set off and had looked around all day trying to find Mustang, but with no success. It was only after most of the day that he realized the rank the other man had held was no common soldier. He'd had the stripes and stars of a general... of course he wouldn't have a bunk in the common sleep area... Most likely the man had his own cabin, and he dined with the ship captain, and...

 

Despair filled him and he lifted his head to stare up at the glassy, silver moon. He wasn't sure what he'd do now... The man didn't even know he was on this ship. Al supposed he could ask the crew or try to get a message to Mustang, but the general hadn't seemed too thrilled about talking with him to begin with. Would he be mad that Al had followed him?

 

After another moment, Al heard the clunking of boots behind him, but he ignored it. At this time of night, most likely it was someone with the crew. Instead of fading away, the steps came closer to him and suddenly a figure stepped beside him. Al looked up and he blinked in surprise when he saw it was the general. Mustang stared down at him expressionlessly for a moment before turning his gaze out to the water.

 

Al let his eyes travel over the man beside him. Roy Mustang was dressed in his military uniform; the rank of lieutenant general proclaimed from his shoulders. The man was taller then Alphonse, though Al had a suspicion that in a couple of years he might reach that same height.

 

The man's straight, black hair was plastered against his forehead from the wet, salty spray and his dark eyes held a gravity in them that only someone who had seen much could have. As Mustang stared out over the dark water, he reached up and absentmindedly undid the top of his uniform and the top button of the white shirt beneath before slowly blowing his breath out.

 

Alphonse frowned. The general didn't look very well. His face looked a little white and washed out. He suddenly felt a little sympathetic as he realized it must be the rocking of the boat that was bothering the man.

 

He turned his gaze back out to the moonlit water and for a time, neither of them said anything, then finally Al said quietly, “I'm sorry. I followed you. I hope you're not mad...”

 

For a moment Mustang didn't say anything, simply continued to stare out beyond the boat, then he said quietly, “No, I'm not mad...”

 

Al's bangs fluttered into his eyes from the wind, and he reached up to brush them back. “I... well... I was wondering if we could talk...” he murmured, then said quickly, “If you don't mind, I mean. We don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable.”

 

When the general didn't say anything, Al wondered if he'd said the wrong thing, but then Mustang said, “What do you want to know?”

 

“Um...” He could ask about Ed, but everyone talked of Ed. He was pretty sure he knew what his brother had been like, those years he couldn't remember. He'd been told that his brother was stubborn and arrogant, but also that he'd helped people and had loyally stayed by Al's side in search of a way to regain what they'd lost.

 

He'd heard stories from Winry and Pinako, and stories from military personnel. Izumi had told him tales of when he and Ed had visited her, and he'd picked up stories about the Fullmetal Alchemist from various people he'd talked to in his travels.

 

But now, his first thought, surprisingly enough, wasn't about his brother. His first thought was about...

 

“What was I like? When you knew me?” he asked.

 

The man had said he'd known him, and this was also something he craved, but something others had been less talkative about. It seemed that his brother's brilliance had been so bright that many people had failed to really notice him. The most he ever got was that he had been very kind and patient, and that he'd always been with Ed. Al found that asking about himself tended to make others uncomfortable, because it forced them to acknowledge that they really hadn't taken the time to get to know him.

 

A small smile came to Mustang's lips and he murmured, “You were very intelligent, in a way even more so than Ed. You were very understanding about other people's problems. You always wanted to help, and you cared about others' well being before your own. You were Ed's greatest support and I think that without you, he never would have been what he was. You were his strength, and you kept him from getting into too much trouble.”

 

The general stopped speaking and glanced at him for a moment before looking back out to the sea. Al waited silently, trying to digest it all.

 

“You were always polite and we often talked,” Mustang finally continued, “But sometimes I felt like you had some negative feelings toward me. Not all the time, usually we got along brilliantly, but there were times...” He paused then said, as if trying to get off the subject of something he hadn't meant to say, “You know... if I had allowed you to become a State Alchemist, I have a feeling you would have been just as well known as your brother.”

 

“You didn't allow me...?” Al turned and looked at him, surprised. He hadn't known that. Of course, he hadn't known that he had tried to become one either. “But... why?”

 

Mustang glanced at him and said simply, “It was for your own good. Your secret would have been very vulnerable had you entered the military. I wanted to protect the two of you.”

 

“Oh...” That made sense to him, he supposed. “Do you think I didn't like you because of that?”

 

The general chuckled and turned so that he was facing him more than the water. “No, not because of that.” The man shook his head and said, “You know, many people thought that you and Ed were so different from each other, but in many ways you were very similar. You were both very stubborn and very intelligent. You were simply more polite.”

 

Mustang turned his body so that he was facing Al more fully, then said, “I probably knew your brother better than anyone else, and I think that's why. Your brother and I shared something that you couldn't have. At least, that is why I believed you had some feelings against me.”

 

Al's eyebrows knit together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

The man sighed and turned back to lean on the railing. The general's eyes blinked tiredly at the sea beyond before he pressed his lips together in a way that made Al think the man might sick up soon. Taking a deep breath, Mustang said, “I'm sorry. You asked about yourself and I turned it to Ed. Forgive me.”

 

“No!” Al said more forcefully than he'd meant to. “I want to know everything; about me and about Ed. I simply asked about myself first. Please tell me...”

 

Mustang turned and leaned his back against the wooden railing of the ship and folded his arms. He looked down in thoughtful silence for a while, then said quietly. “Everything, you say?”

 

“Yes. Everything,” Al whispered, wondering if he really believed what he'd just said.

 

He watched in the bright moonlight as the man gently chewed on his lip in thought. Finally, after several minutes of silence, Mustang said, “Your brother and I...” He paused and glanced cautiously at Al before looking away. “We were lovers.”

 

Al's breath stopped in his chest. Lovers? “But... you're both...” He blushed. By now he was well aware of what men and women did in the bedroom, but... his brother and this... this... old guy!? Not that the general was bad looking, in fact he was a very good looking man, but... that was just it! He was a man! How was that even possible?

 

“Are you angry?” Mustang asked softly.

 

“I...” Was he angry? Al searched inside of himself for the answer. He didn't know, but he could see how he might have been mad then. If the general had taken his brother's time, time that should have been spent with him... He supposed he must have been jealous. That must have been it.

 

But now...

 

Al looked up at the glassy, yellow moon for a moment before bringing his gaze down to the sea. Now, he wasn't the same person he was then. This man hadn't taken anything from him that he could remember, and thinking about it, Al was sure he must have had plenty of time with his brother... what was the big deal about sharing?

 

“I don't know...” he finally said. “I don't think so...”

 

“I see...” Mustang responded thoughtfully after a moment. “I'm glad.”

 

There was more silence between them and Al let his thoughts run as he listened to the creaking of the ship. Finally he turned to face the man. “Did you... did you love him...?” Al asked quietly.

 

The general turned and stared at him silently for a long time before saying, “I don't know. What is love anyway? Just a fond emotion. I cared for your brother; I was fond of him, but... I was also fond of you. We simply didn't share the physical closeness your brother and I shared.”

 

“Oh...” he said softly, not sure what to say to that.

 

Suddenly the ship lurched and fell on a strong wave. The two of them grabbed a hold of the railing and waited for almost a full minute for the boat to calm to the normal gentle motion it had before.

 

Al glanced over at the general who looked even paler than before. Swallowing hard, Mustang stood up and glanced over at him. Giving him a small smile, the man gently touched his cheek. “I'd like to talk more, but I think I'm going to retire for the night.” Al nodded. By the looks of it, the general needed some rest. “My cabin is on the other side of this deck, third to the right. Feel free to come whenever you like. You don't need to knock, just enter as you please. Alright?”

 

When Al nodded, the general turned and started to walk unsteadily away. It was then that Alphonse thought perhaps it hadn't been the fact that Mustang had taken his time with Ed that he'd been jealous of. Perhaps it had been the fact that he hadn't had a body to take part in the intimacy his brother enjoyed with this other man... From what he'd picked out of the conversation he'd just had with the general, it seemed that they must have been on friendly terms, for the most part, and that they'd shared a sort of emotional bond.

 

Could he have that again? Did he even want it? He didn't even know this man anymore...

 

And most importantly...

 

Al turned back and stared out over the black water. Now that he had a physical body, did he want to try having what he couldn't have before?

 

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