Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Misspoken ❯ Realization ( Chapter 2 )

A/N: Well, I was asked countlessly

for a continuation of this, so here it is.

I guess the squeaky wheel really

does get the grease... haha.

- Z

 

Misspoken

 

II

 

Realization

 

-

Ed stormed down the hall not paying attention to the people rushing to get out of his way. That bastard! Ed thought, seething. How dare he compare what me and Al are doing to sightseeing!

 

The teen replayed in his mind what had just happened in Mustang's office. “That bastard! How dare he cut my research budget!” he growled as he neared the elevator where a couple of privates and a corporal were waiting.

 

Scowling, Ed turned left and headed for the stairwell. He yanked hard on the heavy door that led to the emergency stairwell and grunted, “Bastard!” Stepping into the hallway, Ed let the door shut behind him. “And he is lazy!” he yelled loudly as he thought of that part of the conversation. His words echoed loudly around him and for some reason he found that strangely satisfying, as if someone else were agreeing with him.

 

Rushing down to the first floor, Ed burst out into the main lobby of the military building and looked around for his brother. A large suit of armor waved to him from across the large foyer and Ed started toward him. As he neared his brother, the last part of the conversation hit him and he stopped.

 

He blinked and ran it over in his mind again.

 

Had he...?

 

No...

 

He didn't...

 

Did he?

 

He did...

 

“Oh, fuck...” Ed murmured as his brother stepped beside him.

 

“What?” Al asked, curious.

 

What could he say? That he'd just shouted to the colonel that he wished he would screw him? That would go over really well with Al he was sure...

 

Ed turned and looked up toward Mustang's office. Not that it helped since the ceiling was in the way... Maybe the man hadn't noticed... It's not like it was that far from what he'd meant to say... Did anyone else hear him? He hoped not...

 

Ed wasn't ready to tell the world he was gay. Not yet. Maybe not ever. He'd learned that in Central there were subcultures of people who were like that, but in Rizembool... In his home town people who liked the same sex just didn't exist... or maybe they did, but they didn't dare let it be known for fear of the communal reaction... It wasn't until he'd moved to Amestris' capital city that he'd even learned that it was a way of life for some people.

 

Growing up, Ed had never really thought about girls like that. He'd fought with Al over who would marry Winry when they grew up because that seemed to be what was expected of him, but really he didn't care. Girls never interested him.

 

It wasn't until Ed had first laid eyes on Roy Mustang as he was burning the hell out of Bald(1) at Central Station, that he'd ever felt his heart race just by looking at someone. At the time he'd only been able to stare and when he realized what he was doing, he'd tried to hide behind anger. If he was yelling at the man, then he couldn't like him like that, right?

 

Wrong...

 

Despite how much he yelled and cursed the man, Ed's underlying feelings never changed, much to his dismay. He'd spent his first couple of years in Central agonizing over the fact that he was not only a horrible person for practicing the taboo of human transmutation, but also that he was bad because he liked other men; something that in Rizembool, would be just as much of a taboo as human alchemy.

 

It wasn't until he'd turned fourteen that he'd learned that things like `gay bars' or `gay clubs' or `The Gay Rights Movement' even existed in the big cities of Amestris. Despite learning that same sex relationships weren't exactly abnormal in places like East and Central city, Ed still couldn't get himself to tell anyone.

 

He was deeply afraid of being rejected by the people who mattered most to him and of being kicked out of the military. He needed to be in the military to help Al and he didn't want to do anything that would jeopardize that.

 

Ed turned and glanced at his brother. Al might accept him, he was pretty tolerant of anyone, but you never really knew for sure and he didn't want to risk losing the last of his family. There was also Winry and Pinako to think of. Even if he didn't care what they thought of him, which he did, he didn't want to have to find another automail mechanic.

 

Ed lifted his right hand and made a fist with his automail before glancing back up at the ceiling. He wasn't sure what some of the officers would think. Maybe Hawkeye wouldn't care, she seemed pretty down to earth, and Havoc seemed pretty laid back, but... he just couldn't be sure. And Mustang... no... oh, hell, no... Roy Mustang was a ladies man, through and through. Ed didn't know what the man would think about Ed's sexual preference, but he was sure the colonel definitely wouldn't appreciate being the object of Ed's affections...

 

“Brother?” Al said, interrupting his thoughts.

 

Ed turned. “Huh?”

 

“What did the colonel say?”

 

At that, Ed blushed. “What do you mean?”

 

Al shook his head and said in exasperation, “About the funds?”

 

At the mention of his original reason for seeing the man, all thoughts of crushes and misspoken words fled from his mind for the moment, and he growled, “That bastard!”

 

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1- See episode 5

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