Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Protection ❯ Chapter Two ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
Hello Universe! *waves nervously* How art thou? As you already know, I am crazy* nods* any who, here is Chapter two of Protection. I gave warnings about yaoi content and spoilers in Chapter one, so yesh, enjoy and if you have any ideas, comments, or flamers; they are greatly welcomed ^-^ Enjoy.
A/N: Still told in Scar's point of view.
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Protection
`Chapter Two'
That damn boy, I can't do anything without him staring at me attentively! It's been at least a week since I agreed to stay until my wounds get better and he's been stalking me ever since. Just the other day I walked down the hallway to observe the house because I've been cooped up in that small surgery room, and he was on my heels, peeking around corners and just… staring it me! I've already reverted to staying in my room from now on. I'm going to have to sneak out to bathe; he'll probably get worried I'll drown in shower of water.
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As I stared down at the small tray which Winry had brought me earlier, I began to get nauseous. I haven't been able to eat right, sleep or even think right. I have noticed that I also cannot remember certain things that I want to. I slip in and out of consciousness and have found myself staring off in the distance. What is wrong with me? I can't risk having an alchemist study my problem. One, I absolutely despise them all. Second, as soon as I am seen, I would be sent to Central for execution or some sort of experiment. I won't let that happen. I would rather die than be around soiled human beings.
My stomach gave out after the smell of beef reached my nose; I vomited everything I had previously eaten. I simply buried my head into the crease of my neck. Tears began to trail down my cheeks and fuse together at the bottom of my chin. Why was I being punished in such a way? Why was I alive right now? Why couldn't I just have stayed dead!
With a shaking body, I pushed my knees back and forth so that the tray slid down to my ankles, my nose began to bleed for some reason. Why was I being punished so! Was it because I killed those people? I know understand. What goes around comes around.
I sobbed silently until I noticed a small figure hovering in the doorway. How long had I been watched? I was starting to get tired of this, always having eyes on me. Before I could say anything in an insulting manner, my stomach gave way and I slouched as far forward as I could so that I wasn't seen. My eyes scrunched tightly together and I cried.
I felt two small hands on my shoulder and I was pulled up, golden eyes staring at me gently. I couldn't say anything at the moment. I didn't want to.
Alphonse pulled a tan handkerchief out of his back jean pocket and wiped my mouth as best he could. My nose stopped bleeding and he too cleaned that. I felt as though I had my own nurse or something and it bothered me.
He helped me up and then made me sit on a small whicker chair while he cleaned up the bed, pulling the filthy sheets from it and adding fresh ones. He worried me. I wasn't sure if he just sat down waiting to help me if something like this happened. As I've said, he hasn't let me out of his sight ever since I agreed to stay here.
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I've refused to eat lately. Every time Winry tries to feed me I just told her Alphonse fed me earlier or something like that. If I keep going perhaps I'll starve to death. That would be better than suffering like the way I am. The lady came back a while ago to apologize to me. I didn't say anything to her. I didn't need to. All she did was change my blood crusted bandages and then she left.
I've also stared to move around more because if I stay in a certain position for a period of time, I end up in pain or nauseous. I still have no idea what is wrong with me.
“Scar?” Alphonse's meek voice broke the silence as I stared out through the small hole where there was enough to see the outside. I wondered how long he had stood there, with me being in this condition he had managed to pull it off frequently.
“Yes?”
“Would you like me to get a bath ready for you? I didn't know if you wanted to or not, I would have done it earlier but-“
“Sure, that would be nice.” I cut in blankly.
“O-okay, I'll have everything ready in a minute.” I could see Alphonse bow generously out of the corner of my eye before he rushed out of the room. A bath would probably ease the pain some, more or less, I didn't like feeling filthy any longer, and that too was another thing that was probably making me nauseous.
I forced my body off the squeaky bed and found my way to the washroom. Even though I had already been here for over a week, I hadn't gotten used to everything, I didn't know where anything was and I often would just freak out for no reason. I felt claustrophobic.
“It's ready.” Al murmured and led me to the washroom which was outside. I was glad it was night because I wouldn't have done it during the day; I would be too vulnerable during the day.
The washroom itself was a nice sized stall that came above my shoulders and ended at my calves, there was a small shower hinge a couple of inches above the stall and a stack of towels on a crate on the outside of the shower. I already felt relaxed thinking about the water. This would be like heaven to me.
“Thank you Alphonse.” I replied gently. He shivered at my voice, every time he did I would just tear myself up inside. Was there something wrong with me that made him this way? Was he only caring after me because he pledged he would? This made no sense. I felt worse for even being around him, seeing his facial expressions when I would answer him and the way he would get upset if I even took in a breath. I had this terrible feeling in the pit of my gut that he was scared if me.
Alphonse approached me with shaky hands and helped me to unbutton my shirt and took it off, he too unbuttoned my pants but left them so I could easily shake them away.
“If you n-need anything, I'll make sure to have Winry bring it to you.” Alphonse rushed with his voice and left as quickly as possible before I could even ask, `Winry?' I was probably right, he was scared of me.
The water hinge was already on for me, I watched as the water poured down in a silver wave; the steam floated above my head and tingled my skin. I moaned at the feeling. I was going to have a hard time leaving this shower.
I quickly stripped down best I could behind a standing curtain that was attached to the shower and examined my body. The marks my brother had given me no longer existed any where; I had given it to Al before I died.
I ran my eyes down the length of my chest and stomach. It had been ages since I'd seen my body; it felt like I never had it, I felt like a stranger in this skin. There was a small shower on the top of the stall. I stared into the glass and found crimson eyes staring back at me. It was easy to tell I was Ishbalan, that I was a murderer. I already hated myself.
I cautiously stepped under the running water and gasped at the emotions it pulled out of me. My silver hair was now a grouped mess in front of my face. I moaned as the hot liquid ran down the length of my back and down to my ankles. I stood for the longest time admiring the feeling.
As I pulled my head from under the shower head I saw Alphonse gathering my dirty clothing and putting a fresh pair in its place. When he caught my eyes he blushed drastically. “I-I'm sorry, I'm leaving now.” He choked out and turned on his heel.
“Wait” I called and watched him halt. His ears were bright red from what I could tell and he was tense.
“Yes?” He answered hesitantly and turned to look at me.
“Could you help me wash? As you've seen…I'm unable to do certain things.” I answered with a little sarcasm in my voice. He stared at me if I had just slapped him upside the face but laid the clothes on a nearby crate and approached me.
“S-Sure.”
He grabbed a copper coloured bottle and poured the content into a moist rag. His hands were shaking and his face was blood shot. He was dreading this. I was about to tell him to forget it and that I could do it my self until he ran the soapy rag up my back. I bit my bottom lip and naturally curled into the touch. He was gentle around my shoulders and made sure that other places were clean enough. As he washed me I knew how useless I was. I couldn't even wash myself, feed myself or do anything like clean up a bloody nose. I felt worthless now, having to result in a boy washing me.
“Thank you Al.” I said with a soft voice as he started to wash my hair, he was hesitant about this part but he lathered as best he could. I couldn't stand this uncomfortable silence.
“Hey, could I ask you a simple question?” I turned my head to the side a bit so that I could see him from the corner of my eyes. He was looked at what used to be my arms with a bothered expression.
“Anything.” He answered. The unusual wisdom in his voice made me jerk.
“Do I frighten you?”
“What?”
“Do I frighten you?” I repeated with a little more strength in my voice.
“Why would you say that?” He asked with shock in his voice. First he doesn't say anything, and then he acts like I just broke something of his.
“It's just, ever since I agreed to stay here until my wounds heal, you've been nervous around me and barely even talk to me. Is it that you are scared of me? Or do you hate me?”
“Scar… I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to avoid you, it's just…” He inhaled a deep breath and pulled the rag from my back, I could have sworn my throat made an `hmph' sound by itself when he did.
“I've been avoiding you because I'm afraid if I say something in particular that you're going to snap like you did with Pinonka, and I didn't w-want that to happen.” He whispered in my ear and held his hands cupped around my collar bone, the tips of his hair were caught on the water droplets on my back, I could feel them distinctively, I shuttered as he held out a hand and caught Luke water in it from the shower head and then poured it to wash away the soap. I caught my breath and turned to face him. He was inches away; I could smell mint on his breath.
“Please don't avoid me Al, the only reason I stayed here besides healing, was to see you.” I answered unknowingly brushing the tips of my lip against his. I pulled away when Winry called out the window that supper was ready, my face, I swore shown bright red; Alphonse too looked a bit embarrassed. I didn't mean to get that close to him.
My breathing was irregular now and I turned away dismissing him with my expression. He took it and then hurried off into the house. I kneeled under the water so that my head was no longer above the stall and I stared at the ground. What had I just done? What had I been thinking? Absolutely nothing.
I guessed that Al had sent Winry for me, because not long after he had left, she came to help me get dressed. Now talking to him would be even harder but what just happened, that was nothing, we were just talking. There's nothing wrong with talking right? Right?
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“You're wounds are better now, its odd how they healed so incredibly quick.” Pinonka, told me while she was changing my bandages. I began to think, when it hit me. Fullmetal was able to get around with prosthetic limbs that worked with your nerves I guess, this place I was staying at was an auto mail shop, perhaps…
“Can I ask you a question?” I seemed to be saying that a lot lately.
Maybe I gained enough trust to ask her a favor.
“Sure, go ahead.” She answered while applying fresh ivory bandages.
“How much… is auto mail? I can't live forever with someone helping me, if I need to, I can go out and raise money, but I just can't live like this… I-“
“For you, no charge.” She said with a small glint in her eyes. From that look I could tell she trusted me now, I let out a sigh of relief.
“Really?”
“Really, let me warn you now though, it will be very painful. I've had grown men cry like babies during the operation, are you sure you want it?”
“I'm sure with every aspect of my life. I would rather have prosthetic arms then going around helpless.” I answered with a blank voice.
“Okay then, I'll have Winry prepare and we'll do it when you're ready.” She answered and finished my bandaging.
I had always said to myself that if I ever lost a limb, I wouldn't resort to having a fake one. I had no choice now. I couldn't live here forever and I wasn't going to walk around helpless. I was going to have this done no matter what the cost.
I lay back on soft sheets and stared at the ceiling. I bet this is what Al had felt like with that body he had. Unable to do simple stuff at times. I pitied him now. He's been through much more shit than me and he can go through life, that was another strike to how useless I felt.
Alphonse stopped at my doorway and stared in silently. I could tell because his shadow was much smaller than Winry's and a bit bigger than the old ladies. That is what I do when I can't sleep. I've stayed up hours at a time listening to foot steps and specifically picking them out in which whom they belonged to. I also listened closely to their breathing patterns. Winry's was lengthy and energetic, Pinonka's was short and quick, while Al's was broken and weak. I always wondered how he got a full lung of oxygen with how many times he inhaled.
I had my eyes half opened so I could see him. He was watching me, his hands clutching the sides of the wood work and his breathing calmed more. I closed my eyes tighter as he entered the room and now hovered over my bed. I could feel those warm, golden eyes lock onto my face, I felt vulnerable for some reason, I could actually feel his eyes roam my covered body. I wished I could read his mind right now. What was he doing here?
“Scar… are you awake?”
I couldn't just lie there and pretend to be asleep.
“Yes.”
I felt the bed shift as pressure was applied to the right side of it. I lazily opened my eyes and met his.
“Aunt Pinonka told me that you wanted to get auto mail.” He curled into himself with his hands between his legs.
“Yeah, I want to get auto mail.” I replied with some sarcasm. Sarcasm was becoming a second language to me. “I can't afford to go around with people helping me.” I added.
“Oh.” He murmured gently, those eyes were shimmering with something. I didn't know what, but its present made me bubble with rage for some reason, I wasn't liking that pity those eyes were showing me.
“I just came in here to wish you good; I'll be there for you when you get it done if you like.” He added and searched my face with hope. He wanted to help ease my pain; he wanted to let me know that he was here for me.
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This was the worst pain I've ever experienced, getting shot, having my arm ripped off and getting a scar blasted into my face was nothing compared to this. I felt like all my pores were about to burst rapidly at any given time. I cried as silently as possible until a certain nerve was hit. I couldn't handle it. I screamed and bit my lip until it bled thickly into my mouth. As soon as I screamed Alphonse was scratching outside the door begging for entrance. Winry wasn't going to let him.
“Alphonse, go away!” She yelled with the control she had shown before when I first met her. I was sobbing now, my stubs were feverish and the metal wasn't helping any. There were no anesthetics for this; I was just going to have to ride it out.
Not long after they began to work did I loose consciousness, I was covered in a think layer of sweat that made my hair stick like fly paper to my forehead. The pain was too much.
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It seemed like forever until I heard a soothing sound buzz in my ear; it gradually grew louder and more gently. No, it wasn't a sound, it was a voice. I lifted to the voice and let my mind soak in it. I moaned at its delicate tones and soft, innocence. I wanted to slip my skin against it and savor its touch. I was brought to consciousness when a cool hand cupped my feverish cheek, my eyes slit open like a cats would have. Alphonse was hovered over me with a bright face. His smile was stretched as far as he could get it. I was still very much sore, but his gently face soothed me so.
I blinked a few times making sure I was actually awake and that this wasn't just some dream. It wasn't.
“How are you feeling?” He cooed and awaited my answer. To be honest, I felt different. I knew I would, but I pictured it to be another way. It's hard to explain but, I felt like a different person.
I then remembered about the operation. I sat up slowly and lowered my head. I was shocked. I lifted a metal arm into the air and twisted what would have been wrist making the hand turn in a swirl. I pulled them as close to my face as I could see them. They shimmered brightly when a certain amount of light hit it. I had expected the arms to be much heavier than they were at the moment, on the contrary, they were very much light.
“I feel fine, thank you.” I murmured and moved the arms more. I was becoming engrossed with fascination. My heart leapt hard against my chest. I felt my face heat up and I glanced at Al. He was watching my intensively.
“Are you sure you're-“
Al gasped as I took him into those fake arms; I hugged him against my lean body and buried my head into his soft, clothed shoulder. God how long I had wanted to do that! I was neglected to touch, even though I couldn't feel with these arms, it was much better being able to actually hold him. I felt tears leak from my scrunched eyes as I rock against him. I knew how he felt now. He couldn't even feel anything, he didn't have touch at all, and he couldn't receive it. I was tearing myself up inside because of this.
I can never get over the fact how much he has suffered. I just wanted to hold him in my arms and cry for him, I wanted to take all of his pain. I wanted to protect him, protect his innocence from the world. I wanted to give him my protection.
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“I see you're awake now.” Winry said with a cheery, little voice and began to clean the table where she kept all the gears and brackets she used to attach my auto mail. “How do you feel?”
What was it with everyone and asking if I felt okay? I guess this sarcasm is starting to get the better side of me. I lifted my body into a comfortable position and tested at how much weight my new arms could stand. I was amazed at how strong they were.
“I'm better.” I muttered in a gently voice and added a smile, the first smile Winry had seen from me. “Thank you so much.” I wanted to hug her as well, but I would probably scare the poor woman.
“You're very welcome.” She bubbled. “I'm glad you chose to have auto mail. You know, auto mail is better than real limbs at times, plus… who couldn't resist the click of gears against each other, the clank when the metal is moved, the dazzling things you could do with them! They are better in almost every way!” Winry practically used one breath to get that out. I found myself far back against the head board of the bed away from her. And I thought she was a girl who enjoyed girl stuff. She was scaring me now.
“But that's just me!” She gave a cute little laugh and clapped her hands together. “I just LOVE mechanics, I'm the best here in Risembol, did you know that?” She was hovering in front of my face almost demanding an answer. I didn't know what to say.
“Um, no I didn't.” This was hard. I had never talked to any body like this before.
“Well I am, I've made hundreds of prosthetics for people, and they're all made from the best materials!” Alphonse! Help me! I just wanted to scream it out. I couldn't survive with this mechanic otaku! I'm going to die!
As if my mind was read, Alphonse peeked his head in and stared at Winry.
“Pinonka needs you outside.” He muttered and switched his eyes to meet mine giving me an I'm-here-to-save-you glance. Winry turned around in the manner that made her look like some sort of prairie dog.
“Okay.” She answered and gathered her gears and tools on the way out.
Freedom!
“It looked like you were dying.” Alphonse joked and pulled up a wicker chair. His blonde hair brushed above his eyes, so he gently pushed them back. He seemed a lot different than the boy I had seen over the last week. He was more, calm.
“Thanks… for that.” I added and leaned back against the headboard. I felt more alive than I had in previous hours.
“No problem, I couldn't let her disturb you like that. Winry loves machines, you'll learn about her personality little by little.” He leaned forward and gave me a charming little smile that made my stomach bubble.
“I bet she's fun to have a conversation with though.”
“Of course, she's always fun to be around, she just doesn't know when to quit with the mechanics.”
I smiled some and closed my eyes. It would take me a while to get fully used to this place though I wasn't going to be living here; I just wanted to get to know these people who were helping me to be alive right now. I wanted to get to know Alphonse, the boy who had questioned me about his humanity. I wanted to be around him. I wanted to protect him. I wanted him to have my protection.
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Holy freaking Shit! This is the first time I've gotten another chapter done within a week. This is like, a record for me! *squees* this is so awesome… must celebrate! *goes to find vodka* Ha ha, I'm not that celebrative.
Well, that was the second chapter of Protection in which I slaved over a hot computer to finish for your reading entertainment^-^
As I've said before, ideas, comments, and flamers are greatly welcomed, if you have a certain idea you want me to do with the story, such as places you want them to go or things you want them to do, maybe a certain character you want to show up?
I've got a surprise coming up, I don't know when I'm going to put it in, but just be ready for something*pokes* I hope you enjoyed chapter two! *glomp-clings to everyone*
*flies off on giant energizer bunny*
Happy late Valentine's Day! *glomps all the viewers* Mwah!