Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Spiked ❯ uh.......WTF?! ( Chapter 2 )

YAY!!! New chapter!! WHOO!! Hope ya'll liked the last one. This one will be really random.

Disclaimer: I don't Full Metal Alchemist or any of the other songs and etc. I used.

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“On the last episode, Ed, Al, Ayumi, Jean and Roy were trapped inside Roy's office with no food and only a coffee machine. What will they ever do?” Some narrator guy said.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Ed asked.

Everyone sat in a circle, and I was giving Roy a manicure. “And then she comes up to me and says like, `Hey, you're a bitch!'”

“Oh no she didn't!” Roy said, eyes widened.

“She did! And then I look at her and be all `Well, at least I'm not a whore!' Then I like, slap her really hard!”

“Oh, you go girl!” Al said, smacking his gum.

Jean was in the corner, crying.

We started gossiping. “Did you see what he was wearing yesterday?” Ed asked.

“I knoooooow!!!” Al said.

“We gossiping folks!” I said,

“Musi ques, I sews on bews, I pues a twos on que zat.” Roy sang.

“Pue zoo?” I sang back.

“My kizzer.” Roy sang.

“Pous zigga ay zee!” I sang, cartwheeling.

“It's all kizza.” Roy sang.

“It's always like?” I sang.

“It's all kizza!” Roy sang.

“It's always like? Na zound, wa zee, wa zoom zoom zee!!!” I sang loudly.

“Gawd, I'm hungry!” Ed whined.

Hughes ran through the open door. “Who wants to see pictures of my wonderful daughter Elysia?” He asked.

“Le gasp!” Al said, pointing to Hughes. “How did you do that?!”

“Huh?” Hughes asked.

“Ya want some coffee?” Ed asked, giggling and giving Hughes some coffee.

Hughes ignored Ed's slightly disturbing giggling and gulped down the coffee.

“CORN!!!” Jean yelled, crawling back to the group.

“They make the best muffins.” I said.

Hughes nodded. “They don't even taste like corn!” He exclaimed.

“If it did, it would taste nasty.” Al said, nodding his head.

“Yeah, like a broccoli muffin. Or a beet muffin.” Roy said.

“Or worse…..MILK MUFFIN!!!!!” I yelled, pretending to faint.

“YAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!” Jean yelled.

“MILK MUFFIN?!” Ed yelled. “NUUUUUU!!!!” He yelled, falling to his knees. “WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!” Ed yelled, sobbing.

I sighed quietly, sitting on the ground. “Fuck you.” I said quietly.

“It's okay.” Roy said, patting my shoulder.

“WHO ASKED YOU?!” I yelled, punching Roy in his face.

“We have to find a way out of here!” Al said.

“You mean we're trapped?!” Hughes said, looking scared.

Ed nodded. “Duh, why would we stay in here?”

“NUUUUUUUU!!!!” Hughes yelled, falling to his knees and crying.

I jumped up on the desk that happened to be fixed. “Oh Romeo, Romeo, where for out thou Romeo?” I asked. “ROMEO, GET YA ASS OVER HERE, DAMMIT!!!” I yelled.

Jean leaped over to me. “It is I, Romeo!” He announced.

“Romeo!” I squealed, hopping from my balcony and hugging him. “Can you believe it? That little nasty, Mercutio keeps hitting on me! Be a doll and slay him for me, 'kay?” I said, putting my hands on my hips and smacking imaginary gum.

“Sure, whatever.” Jean said shrugging.

Ed started strutting around the room, humming.

Jean picked up a pen and stabbed Ed.

“AUGH!! I AM SLAIN!!” Ed yelled, falling to the ground and doing some disturbing twitches and jerks before pretending to be dead.

“NUUUUU!!! MERCUTIO!!!” I yelled, falling to my knees next to Ed. I stroked his hair out of his face. “He was the only man I ever loved….” I said sadly. “ROMEO, YOU BASTARD!” I cried, sobbing into my hand.

“But…..but….” Jean stammered.

“I won't live without you Mercutio!” I said, pulling out a plastic knife. “Oh happy dagger! This is thy sheath! There rust...and let me die!!!” I yelled, stabbing myself in the chest and falling ontop of Ed.

“NUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!” Al yelled.

“FUCK YOU!!!” Roy yelled at Jean.

“I didn't mean it! She told me too!” Jean yelled, crying.

“Ha! You think that would kill us?!” Ed said, springing up.

“You underestimate us.” I said, shaking my head. “Cause we still alive!”

“Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.” Ed sang in a high-pitched voice, pointing to Al and me and discoing.

“I'M NOT A MOTHER!!!” I yelled. I shrugged. “Feel the city breakin' and EVERYBODY shakin' and we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.” I sang, as everyone started shaking like there was an earthquake.

“Ah ha ha ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.” Ed sang.

“AH HA HA HA, stayin' aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive~~.” I sang.

Al started crying. “That was so beautiful.”

Roy nodded, all choked up.

“I WANNA GET OUTTA HERE!!” Hughes yelled.

“Let's try to get out!” Jean said.

“Which way?” Al asked.

“To the left!!” Ed yelled, and everyone walked to the left.

“To the right!!” Roy argued, and everyone walked to the right.

“Take it back now, ya'll!!” Jean said as everyone walked backwards.

“Cha cha real smooth!!” I yelled as we all started to do the cha cha.

“WAIT!!!” Hughes suddenly yelled.

“WHAT?!” Al yelled.

“If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe, I'd be married a long time ago.” Roy said, shaking his head.

“Where did he come from?!” Hughes asked.

“And where did he go?!” Jean asked.

“Where did he come from, Cotton Eyed Joe?!” Ed asked.

I yawned.

“You know what?” Jean asked.

“WHAT?! WHAT THE BLOODY `ELL DO YOU WANT NOW?!” I yelled in a british accent.

“I'm hot.” Jean said.

“So?” Roy asked.

“I'm really really hot.” Jean sang. “Everytime my records drop.” Jean sang, dropping something. “Radio says I won't stop. Cus' I'm killing `em.” He said, dropping to the ground and pretending to be dead.

“Ypu don't know whatcha' talkin' `bout.” Roy rapped. “You would think I was Sug when I come out.” He rapped, suddenly wearing flashy clothes. “My albums hit hard when I roll out.” He rapped, whacking Al on the head. “Ya'll records wanna make a bitch wanna' throw `em out. And that's no doubt.” He said, pointing to me.

Al started crying.

“DON'T HIT MY BROTHER!!!” Ed yelled.

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO BITCHY, SHE'S A BIOTCH?!” I yelled.

“HEY?! DON'T STEAL MY SPAZZES! I GOT COPYRIGHT ON THAT!!!” Ed yelled.

“BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!!!!” Hughes yelled suddenly.

“Ed Nye, the Science Guy.” I sang.

“Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed!” Roy and Al said, pumping their fists in the air with each `Ed'.

“Ed Nye the Science Guy!!!” Jean yelled.

Ed played some funky notes.

“Science rules.” I said.

Ed played more notes.

“Ed Nye the Science Guy!!” Jean, Roy, Al, and Hughes sang.

“Inertia is a property of matter.” I said.

“Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed.” Al and Jean sang.

“Ed Nye the Science Guy.” Hughes said in a deep voice.

“Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!” Everyone sang.

“T minus 7 seconds.” I muttered.

“Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!”

“Ed Nye the Science Guy!!” We all finished.

“GAWD, We rule!!!” Jean said.

“Whateva!” Al said, sighing.

“I feel like killing someone.” I said.

Suddenly, a mosquito randomly flies in.

Everyone stares at it.

“Kill the mosquito.” Hughes said, glaring at it.

“Mosquito. Kill the mosquito.” Jean said.

“Mosquito. BURN the mosquito.” Roy said.

“Mosquito. DAMN the mosquito.” I said.

“Mosquito…?” Al asked.

“Kill the mosquito.” Ed said evily.

I laid out some bait for the mosquito to eat.

Mosquito flew to it.

“Yeah…there you are. Yeah…” I muttered. “Come on, settle down.” I told the mosquito.

Mosquito stood on it and began eating.

“Dig in.” I said, holding up a rolled-up newspaper. I slammed it on the mosquito.

“NUUUUUUU!!!!” Jean yelled. “I wanted to kill it!”

“Gotcha!!” HAHAHAHAHA!!!” I said. “I waited along time to get hold of you, but now look at you now.” I said, smushing the newpaper around. “Now what? Whatcha gonna do?” I asked the dead mosquito. “This is revenge!”

More mosquitoes flew in.

“DAMN!!!” Roy yelled, staring at the mosquitoes.

“There's more of you?!” Ed said.

“Ya got your whole family up in here?!” I yelled. “Oooooooooh, it's on now!!” I waved at everyone else. “Come on!”

Mosquitoes are all buzzing.

“KILL THE DAMN MOSQUITO!!!” I yelled.

Everyone's running around, trying to kill the swarm of mosquitoes.

“KILL THE DAMN MOSQUITO!!!” I yelled again.

“Say, get the mosquito. Damn this mosquito.” I said. “Say, get the mosquito. DAMN this mosquito.” I said. “Say….”

“Get the mosquito. Damn this mosquito. Say, get this mosquito. DAMN THIS MOSQUITO!!!” Everyone else said.

We all started chasing all the mosquitoes, killing only a few.

“KILL THE DAMN MOSQUITOES!!!” I yelled.

The mosquitoes are flying all over the place, and all hide.

“Where you at?!” Hughes yelled. “Yeah, you mosquito, where you at?!”

Mosquitoes start flying through the air again, scared.

“Oh, there you are!” I yelled, pointing to them. “There you are.” I said, slapping my hands on one and killing it.

“I'M COMING TO GET YOU THIS TIME!!!” Ed and Roy yelled.

“No games. Just my hand speed baby, just my hand speed.” Roy said, putting on his gloves.

“GET OVER HERE!!!” Ed yelled. “COME ON, COME ON!!”

“THERE IT IS!! THERE IT IS!!” Jean yelled, pointing to some.

“WATCH OUT, WATCH OUT!!” Roy yelled, snapping his fingers and burning 5 to a crisp.

“YOU `BOUT TO DIE! YEAH, MOSQUITO YOU `BOUT TO DIE!!” Ed yelled, killing 10 mosquitoes.

“THIS IS MURDER!! MOSQUITO MURDER!!!” I yelled, killing more.

“BRING YOUR FRIENDS, I'LL TAKE YOU ALL DOWN!!” Al yelled.

“COME ON YA'LL, BRING THEM ALL DOWN!!” Hughes yelled.

“KILL THE DAMN MOSQUITOES!!!!” Jean yelled.

Mosquitoes are trying to get out of this massacre, but they're all getting killed.

I killed the last one. “Gotcha.” I laughed evily.

Roy yawned. “I'm bored.”

I looked at Roy, and kicked him.

“Wah?!” Roy said, crawling away from me.

I just stared at him.

Roy stood up, saluting me. “I am the captain of the Star Ship Enterprise.” He said.

I nodded.

“Captain Kirk? This is Spark, please get on the transporter.” Hughes said on an intercom.

Roy stepped on the couch and stepped off it.

“Dila damn kriscos! Hit by Klignon missiles! No!” Jean yelled.

Roy sighed.

“I'm a doctor.” Al announced.

“Not an actor.” Roy said.

“Not a milkman.” Al said.

“What does that mean?” Roy asked, scratching his head.

“And I'm sorry. He's dead, him.” Al said, shaking his head.

“Hit by a torpedooooo~~” Roy sang. “Lieutenant Uhera. Open hailing frequencies.”

“Yes Captain Kirk, opening hailing frequencies sir.” I said, saluting Roy.

“Let's boldly go where no man's gone before!” Roy said, pointing out the window. “Hahahahahahahaha.” He laughed heartily. “Beam me up, Mr. Scot. Sulu, go to warp.”

“Warp 3 sir?” Ed asked, pressing a button.

“No! That will be way too slow!” Roy said.

Ed pressed another button. “Warp 4 sir?” He asked.

“That STILL is way too slow!” Roy insisted.

Ed sighed, pressing another button. “Warp 5 sir?”

“That STILL is too damn slow!!” Roy said.

“Warp 6?”

“Is too damn slow.”

“Warp….7?”

“Is too damn slow!!”

“IS TOO DAMN SLOOOOOOWW!!!” We all sang.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!” Roy yelled, stomping his feet.

Everyone stared at him.

“Mr. Jackoff, Mr. Jackoff…” Roy said.

“I am firing torpedo!” I said, pressing a button.

“That will not work, and will be illogical to me.” Hughes said.

Everyone stared at him.

“To me.” He said again. “To meeeeeee~~~.”

“Oooookay.” I said, looking away.

“I'm a ninja!!!” Ed yelled. “It's my birthday, I'm a ninja!”

“Brother, quiet. I'm trying to concentrate” Al said, meditating.

Ed stared at him. “Dude, we're ninjas! We graduated from Ninja Tech.”

“Yeah, but that means respecting what it means to be a ninja.” Al said, sighing. “Which means patie—“

“No, dude!” Ed interrupted “I'm gonna go to parties! I'm gonna be at..people will be at parties! And they won't even know I'm there!”

Hughes and Jean walked to the middle of the room.

“And they'll be like…” Ed started.

“Did you hear something Tad?” Hughes asked Jean.

“No…” Jean said.

“And they look up and I'm all clinging up on the ceiling.” Ed said, hanging from the light fixture. “And they'll be like..”

“What the?! A ninja!” Jean yelled, pointing to Ed.

“Awesome! It's a party!” Hughes said.

“And I'll be like, `Just throw the cake up here, please!'” Ed jumped down from the ceiling. “Dude, I'm a ninja!”

“Listen! No, no, no.” Al said, standing up. “Don't exploit—“

“I'm wearing all black.” Ed said, taking off his red jacket.

“DON'T exploit the ninja. The ninja is calm…” Al said.

“It's like…” Ed started.

“REPEAT! Calm…” Al said.

Ed sighed. “Calm, yeah I know but…” He said, scratching his head.

“Okay, defense.” Al said.

“Oh yeah.” Ed said, starting to pay attention.

“Strategy…” Al said.

“…yes.” Ed said.

“Eye of the dragon.” Al said, grinning and clenching his fists.

Ed makes this really weird sound.

“Feel the power of the energy….from below.” Al said, looking at Ed.

“We must go out and ninja in the night!” Ed said.

“You must start our quest.” Al said, holding his hand out in the air.

“Shall we?” Ed asked.

“Yes.” Al said.

“Like the shadow serpent….silence is my veil.” Al sang, as I skipped over and put a veil on Al's head. He ripped it off.

“Yes, and with the precession, of the cobra.” Ed sang, as Roy made some pathetic attempt to move like a cobra.

“Ninjas kill and leave no trail.” Al said, stabbing me and dragging my `body' away.

“We know ancient stuff, and we have fun -taken out- things up.” Ed and Al sang, meditating and floating around the room.

o.O

Everyone stared at them.

“For instance!” Ed sang, landing on the ground with Al.

Al blinked, pointing to me. “In the confusion of a smoke bomb…” He said, throwing a smoke bomb.

“Wah?!” I yelled, confused.

“I can remove your bra and you wouldn't even notice.” Al said, taking my bra. He stared at it. “Ew!!” He yelled, throwing it back to me.

“I can jump roof!” Ed sang, jumping off Roy's desk onto a table. “To roof!” He said, jumping on the couch. “And get my friends…free cable.” Ed said, pointing to Roy who was watching tv. “It's bad ass!”

“I used my Chinese star.” Al sang, picking one up. “To pick the locks, and steal your car!” Al said, holding up Hughes keys.

“M-m-my car!!” Hughes cried.

“Rock and roll!!” Ed said, doing a disco pose.

“Ninja of the night!” Al sang.

“Ninja of the night!” Ed sang after him, singing high pitched.

Ninja of the….” Al sang.

“Night!” Ed and Al sang together.

“YAY!!” I yelled, clapping my hands.

That's the end of the chapter!! XD That was really random….yeah…..please review!!