Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Switch ❯ Chapter 1

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“I’ve got to see this.” Havoc said as he pulled out a cigarette. Lighting it, he watched as Edward sat on the floor cross-legged, flipping through a book. Then as an afterthought he reached into his back pocket and withdrew a couple of pills. After counting it he tossed $50 Edwards way. “I’m in until Mustang recovers from the shock.”

Edward snickered and caught the money. “Make it hundred and you’ve got a deal.”

Havoc groaned, thinking over the possibility. Shit, he really didn’t want to give up fifty more but he didn’t want to be on the receiving end—from Roy—when Edward was done. “Fine.” He grunted and tossed another fifty Fullmetals way.

“Now, I just have to…”  Edward paused and glanced towards the book in his hands and then towards what he was drawing on the floor. Well, he corrected himself, not on the floor. He didn’t give a damn about what Mustang said but he preferred to stay on Lieutenant Hawkeye’s good side. That was why he’d picked up a foot long poster board on the way to HQ. Now, as he stared at the handiwork he’d drawn on the board—instead of the clean polished floor—he wanted to pat himself on the back for his smart thinking. Last week Roy had called him “one of the shortest runts who can’t even measure up to a midget”. Then he had burned Edward in the ass with a snap of his fingers. Al, of course, had said he had it coming. Al was supposed to be on his side!

“This is a little childish, Ed.”

Edward ignored Al, grinning evilly as he placed a pet carrier with a small lizard inside it beside the circle. Brigadier General Roy Mustang was going to understand the meaning of “pay-backs a bitch”. It was by pure luck that he’d thought of it but he’d had to go get an Alchemic book based on the Alchemy to make sure he got it right. He didn’t see the big deal. All he was going to do was use Alchemy to switch Roy and the Lizards body into each other. He couldn’t wait to see the ‘lizard’ Roy crawling up on his desk so he could get pictures. This was going to be awesome! “Pay-backs coming, Mustang.” He grinned and stood, wiping off his hands. “All he has to do is walk in here and step on this.”

“You sure about this, Ed…I mean…it is a little childish…” Fuery rubbed the back of his neck.

“Don’t call me a child!” Edward growled and threw his hands up in the air. “I owe him. Come on.” He perked up as he heard footsteps in the hallway and he grinned that evil way again. He ran to the other side of the transmutation circle and kneeled down, waiting for the door to open. When the door opened and he saw Mustang, he didn’t think. He pressed his hands to the circle.

He didn’t think to push the lizard onto the circle.

Bright white flared, the circle glowing. The others watched. Edward was grinning still. Al looking uncomfortable. Fuery was sitting at his desk with his hands over his ears. Havoc was smoking and trying not to look too eager. They were still watching when the light slowly faded and Roy stumbled forward. He glanced down and saw what he was standing on, recognized the design. He glanced down at Edward grinning evilly up at him.

“Edward, why are you drawing on the General’s—“ He didn’t finish the sentence. Edward, however, frowned. It hadn’t worked. WHY?

Riza sighed after informing Roy that the Elric brothers were back in Central. His response had been expected. He’d mocked and grinned and then leered. Really, sometimes she wondered how he could be the Brigadier General—so high of a rank—and still be so childish at the same time. It was like he had an on and off switch that he used frequently. Roy turned and stepped into the office, her right behind him. A bright light flared up automatically beneath them, momentarily freezing them and then it was as if nothing had happened. She glanced down to see Edward in front of her now, his hands inches from the transmutation circle.

“Edward, why are you drawing on the General’s—“ The voice that came out stopped her abruptly. It was—by no means—hers. She sucked in a sharp breath and looked down and then lifted her hands—male hands. Roy’s hands.

“Edward Elric—!”
“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!” The voice—so very familiar—cut her off.

She turned, denial rising in her mind at what she saw. Riza Hawkeye stood behind her. That was her body—but she was here. In Roy’s. Everyone else in the room stood, shocked at the language that came “her” mouth. They didn’t realize what had happened.

“Oh my God.” This couldn’t be happening. The others watched as Roy ran his hands down his face, muttering to himself. Hawkeye was shoving Edward backwards, threatening to burn him alive—

“Shit.” Havoc stood, realizing the very familiar threat coming out of Hawkeyes mouth. So did Edward. “No way. No way!” Havoc jumped in front of Edward and leaned down a little so he could pear up into Hawkeyes face. He was the only one brave enough to voice what everyone was thinking. “Is that you in there, Mustang?”

Shit. Fuck. FUCK! This was not happening. Roy glared down at Edward and then at Havoc as he approached him and then he looked over to where Riza…no. He stared at his own body across the room.

“SHIT!” The voice he heard should have been his but it wasn’t. It was Hawkeyes.

“That’s you, alright. Hawkeye doesn’t talk like that.”

Edward was dead. So dead. He wasn’t scared of Roy. He was terrified of Hawkeye. She was going to shoot him till there was nothing left to shoot.

The others were still quiet, too shocked to move or speak. But they knew. Edward had screwed up and switched Roy and Riza. He was in her body and she was in his. Havoc broke the silence, roaring with laughter. “Ah, shit! Mustang has boobs!”
With that said, they watched ‘Riza’ halt in her tirade at Edward. ‘She’ glanced down, as if realizing what Havoc had just said. The look on ‘her’ face was unreadable as ‘she’ peeled back the labels of her blue overcoat and glanced down. ‘Riza’ lifted her hands but ‘she’ never got the chance to feel, to grope, to see if they were real because ‘Roy’s’ voice shot out across the room.

“Don’t even think about it.” There it was again, Roy’s voice instead of her speaking. Inside and out, she winced visibly. Staring at her body across the room. This was not happening. It was not possibly. But anything seemed to be possible with Alchemy. She watched as her body paused—Roy was smart, he knew where to tread and where not to—and then her hands were slowly lowered, a look of disappoint filtering across her features. She wasn’t so sure she would stop at having to shoot her own hand if Roy even tried to grope.

“Keep your hands to yourself, Sir.”

A sweat broke out on Roy’s brown—well, hers—as he realized the extent of what had happened. Hell, he was a man and being in a woman’s body…It scared the hell out of him. It was one hell of an experience. “I am keeping my hands to myself.” He winced again, hearing that soft voice of hers instead of his own.

Havoc seemed to be the only one to have the guts to actually admit this whole scenario was amusing. Hell, he was finding it funny as shit. It was awkward, yes, to watch as Mustang called his subordinate, Riza Hawkeye, “sir”. He burst out laughing again when ‘Riza’ started in Edwards’s direction. “I’m going to fry your ass, you little runt, if you don’t fix this.” ‘Riza’ lifted her hand in Edwards’s direction and then paused, staring at the small delicate hand. Void of any white glove.

Havoc just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. He grabbed his stomach as he laughed again. “Mustang can’t do Alchemy AND he has breasts!”



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