Fullmetal Alchemist Fan Fiction ❯ Switch ❯ Chapter 2

2

Havoc, Fuery and Breda all learned the hard way that no matter that she resided in Roy’s body, she was still an experts marksmen. No matter that she was in Roy’s body, they were not going to slack off. They had stared at her when she’d whipped out the gun in the holster that Roy always had beneath his jacket. She cocked it and stared them down. At first, her stare hadn’t had any effect. They saw Roy, not her. When she had coldly informed them that they were candidates for potential missing body parts or at the least, candidates for blood loss, they had swiftly returned to work. And Roy, he was having a field day in her body from the looks.

“Stop it and sign those papers, Sir.” She glared at her own body across the room, momentarily stopping Roy from staring at her hands. He acted as if he’d never seen the female body before and that, she was sure he had. With his so-called dates every night, she highly doubted he had never seen one.

“You sure we should be working in our condition, Lieutenant?”

She closed her eyes and dropped into her seat, rubbing her—his—temples. Edward was looking for a way to fix the problem and by God, he would do it. Until then though, she was not going to let Mustang slack anymore in his work than was normal. In fact, she was sorely tempted to give him double his paperwork today. He was making her look like a total fool. First, he had cussed Edward out and then threatened to burn him to ashes when he realized that he didn’t have his Alchemic gloves. He forgot, that was her body that was chasing after Edward. His gloves—she had taken great joy in withholding. She still remembered watching her own body march towards her. He had reached for her, towards the pocket where she knew he kept his gloves. And stopped him. She’d held the glove over his—her—head and said, “No, we need him alive to fix this, Sir.” Until then, she hadn’t realized how short she was compared to him.

She had calmly but firmly informed Roy and Edward to sit down when Roy had launched himself at Edward and Edward had taken off at a sprint. She was not going to have a spectacle made of herself by being seen chasing after Edward Elric like an idiot. Roy did that enough on his own time.

Riza—in Roy’s body—had made a list of all the people who knew of Edwards messed up prank. She and Roy, of course, along with Edward, Al, Havoc, Fuery, Falman and Breda. No one and she had repeated that—stressed over those two words—no one outside of this work room were to hear of this.

“You’re still capable of working, Sir.” She leaned against her desk and planted her chin on her fingers. And noticed her—his hands. Had he never heard of a thing called lotion?

Roy mumbled beneath his breath. She was his subordinate so why did he let her boss him around? Shit. He couldn’t help it though. The first thing he noticed was her hands. They were small, the nails—he was sure—were painted with a shiny clear coating of nail polish. And damn, her hands were soft. He hadn’t even realized he’d lifted them and was staring at them, touching the fingers and in between until she told him to stop. This was one of the worst case scenarios of looking into a mirror but this time, there was no mirror. He was seeing his body—HIS BODY—across the room, situated at Hawkeye’s desk. Fullmetal had better hurry up because if he managed to get those gloves from Hawkeye, Fullmetal was in for it. He glanced up from his unsigned paperwork, staring across the room to see his body—

“Oh my God, no. God, Hawkeye, don’t put that stuff on my hands. You’re going to make me smell like a girl.” He burst out.

Everyone glanced up from their paperwork towards Hawkeye’s form across the room when ‘he’ spoke. And then they glanced at Roy’s body. They saw Roy rubbing his hands together, spreading lotion over his hands and up and down his arms. Havoc snickered and opened his mouth.

“Shut it, Havoc.” Roy—in Riza’s body—snapped out.

She arched an eyebrow at his outburst. “Whether you smell like a girl or not is your problem, Sir.” With those words coming out of HIS mouth, the other men in the room snickered behind their hands. Awkward but hilarious. It was just hard to imagine Roy Mustang talking in such a defined manner like Hawkeye. “Your hands are dry and I am not going to leave them like this—“Her eyes—his—narrowed in that way that only she could accomplish, even with his body. “—when I’m here.”

Could this day get any worse, he thought with a low groan. He didn’t have much of a choice so he brought all of his recently neglected papers and started signing his name. He watched as her small hand scribbled his signature, a bit faster than his own. The clock struck one and he shot up, still amazed at the way her small body moved so fast. “Lunch ti—!“

“You sit down, sir. You’re not going anywhere. I’ll bring you lunch.” No way did she trust him outside of this room. If Edward hadn’t figured a way to switch them back by the end of the day, well, she would take him home with her. She would have to. She didn’t trust him to go alone. Either he would make a fool of her or make a ridiculous fool of her. Out of those two choices, she was choosing neither.

“But why?”

“Your lunch break is running out, Sir…” She warned him softly.

He sighed. Damn woman. “Pick me something up from the sandwich shop. I don’t care what.”

She turned towards Havoc and then thought the better of it and glanced at Fuery. “Keep an eye on him, Fuery.”

Havoc leaned back in his chair and stretched his arm partially over the back. “Him? From my point of view, that looks like a woman to me, Sir.” It was so like Havoc to take any advantage he had in the situation. He was clearly enjoying it.

“Havoc, I’m still capable of shooting a weapon, if you’ll remember your earlier comment…Fuery, do not let the General out of this room and if anyone comes asking for me, tell them I’m unavailable.” She folded her—his—arms before striding out the door.

“Now that is some freaky shit having Mustang…Lieutenant Hawkeye talking to me like that…” Havoc rubbed the back of his neck, trying to think of how to rephrase it because they were all used to Hawkeye scolding them. “Ah…hell, hearing those words come out of Mustang’s mouth.”

“You think it’s freaky? Hell, look at me, Havoc.” Roy threw his—her—hands into the air. She wouldn’t disgrace him in public, he knew that. If anything, she would have people wondering why the hell he was being so calm, so straight forward.

“So, Lieutenant…um, Mustang, sorry…what’s it like to be a chic?” Havoc lit a cigarette and then took a deep drag.

Roy glared at Havoc. Maybe he should fry his ass, too, when he was back in his own body. Havoc was enjoying this too much, at his expense. “I’m shorter than you. I have soft skin.” He lifted his—her—hand and sniffed. “I smell good and I’m learning the wonderful technique of being able to cross my legs without having balls in between. How do you think I’m doing? I can’t even go get my own lunch…”

Fuery choked on his coffee while Havoc almost dropped his cigarette. “While I know that’s you in there, Mustang, that is weird…knowing it’s you talking but hearing her voice…” His smile widened. “At least it’s not her voice that is drilling into us today!”

“And to top it off, this damn hair clip is digging into the back of my head.” How women managed to wear their hair up so tight was beyond them. It wasn’t exactly tight; it was just the damn hair clip. How the hell could she stand to have it clipped in the strands…all…damn…day? More than that, he didn’t understand why they wanted to wear their hair up. Didn’t they know men liked it down? If she could put lotion on his hands then he could take her hair down. Comfort went both ways. He jerked the brown clip out, cursing when the blonde strands caught on the metal part. He freed it and then tossed it onto his desk.

“Real smart, Mustang.” Havoc commented dryly from across the room. “She might not shoot you since that’s her body but when she sees that you took her hair down…man, you’re likely to get the bitching of your life.”

He groaned.


Riza had to admit, as tall as he was, his strides were longer than hers would have been and it didn’t take long before she reached the Sandwich shop. Every window she had passed along the way she saw his tall, dark haired figure. It didn’t seem real. She wouldn’t admit it to the others, but she was tempted to shoot Edward. He had better hurry up…She made his order and then paused when the cashier said the total. Where was his wallet? Did he even carry one? She reached into his back pocket and felt the distinguishable shape and pulled it out. He was smart—he carried his military card rather than cash. He really needed to organize his wallet though.

After paying for his meal she started in the general direction of HQ as she rifled through his wallet. She knew if she had been in the work room, she wouldn’t be doing this. She shifted through his cards and slipped them each into designated holders and slid his Military ID into the clear tab in the middle. There were a few receipts which she threw away and—she chuckled—numbers of which she presumed were of women. Of course.

“Roy!”

She glanced up, expected to see him stop but then realized at the last second that she was Roy. With a mental groan she turned towards the sound of his name being called. She had hoped to avoid this. A woman—a girl, really—waved at her frantically. Did she have to draw so much attention? The girl was blonde with—she groaned again—a pair of breasts that were too big for her frame. She hoped to God he wasn’t like Havoc in that area. All Havoc cared about was a pair of breasts. If the woman had breasts then he was all for going out with her.

“You never did call me back, Roy.” The girl smiled. “Since you’re here now, why don’t we make a date for tonight…?”

If he hadn’t called her back, then Riza knew, of course, that he hadn’t intended to. He had a different date almost every night. What he needed was a better taste in women. She broke out in a sweat as she felt the girl touch her—his chest—and slide her finger down the middle teasingly.

“I was hoping that maybe we could finish tonight…I know you said you liked someone else but…”

He liked someone else? How stupid and desperate could this girl be? She caught the girls hand because she found it extremely discomforting to feel another females hand on her body, well, his. The impact was still the same. She was not into girl to girl action. She dropped the hands girl—away from her—his—body. Unlike Roy, she was moot and straight to the point. “I’m sorry—“ Dammit, she didn’t know the girls name. “—did it ever occur to you that I’m not interested? If you’ll excuse me I have to get back to work.” A little harsh, yes, but now the girl wouldn’t harbor any false feelings. She turned and headed back towards HQ, thumbing through the rest of his wallet. He’d thank her for it or she’d shoot him when he was back in his own body.

There were only two pictures in his wallet. One was of him standing with Maes. The other was with her. She lifted it up, remembering when the picture had been taken. It was sometime after the Ishbal war when they were both young. Her hair was still short but she was smiling. They both stood straight. Why did he have this in his wallet, though? It wasn’t that…important. Was it? She closed the wallet and dropped it back into the back pocket of his pants as she strode down the hallway. She turned left and then stepped into the work office and stopped.

Roy—well, her body—was arguing with Havoc and they both had their hands in HER hair. What. The. Hell? Her eyes narrowed as she stepped into the room.

Both men froze when they saw her.

“What did you do to my hair?” She ignored—didn’t care—how weird and how stupid that sounded when the words came out of his mouth.

“Ah…the clip was digging into my skull.”

And that sounded really stupid coming from her mouth. Havoc cleared his throat, his hands slowly sliding from her hair. “We were trying to put it back up but it won’t stay…the clip isn’t big enough.”

She arched an eyebrow at that. This, she was sure, looked ridiculous on his face. She couldn’t help but wonder at the idiocy of men. Did Havoc even hear what he’d just said? Of course the clip fit, otherwise it wouldn’t have been in her hair. She strode over to the men and Havoc obediently went back to his desk. “Don’t touch my hair again.”

“You get to put lotion on my hands so…” He and Havoc had tried putting her hair back up, dammit. It just wouldn’t stay. How the hell did she do this every morning? They had pulled her hair up—Havoc had pulled the hell out of his—her—scalp along the way, but the clip wouldn’t even slide closed. There was too much hair! How the hell had she put it up to begin with!? When they’d finally managed to close the clip it had popped back open.

“Don’t touch it again.”

He knew better than to question her. Or worse, keep arguing. He mumbled and then grew quiet as she walked back to her desk and then came back with a brush. When she walked up behind him and then combed her—his—fingers through her hair he spun the chair around. “What are you doing!”

“Stay still.”

Havoc, Fuery and Breda found it very, very awkward at the sight of Roy behind Riza, running a brush through her hair. It was even more so when he ran his hands through her hair and then started lifting the blonde hair up. Havoc watched, frowning—confused. “How are you doing that…?” He and Roy had honestly tried to get the mass of blonde hair to stay up. His eyes lit as he watched her twist the hair and then begin to slide the clip…

There heard a small knock and then the door opened. Sheska stuck her head in the door. “I have some files for the Lieutenant…” She trailed off when she saw the General behind Lieutenant Hawkeye, his hands sifting through her hair. Roy stood to attention at once, his eyes narrowing. “As you were, Sheska. You did not see this.” Sheska zipped out as if she’d never been there. That, she would gladly pretend she hadn’t seen. She didn’t understand it and she didn’t want to understand it.

Havoc burst out laughing. “Wow, Hawkeye, you sounded just like him.”

All Roy—in her body—did was bark out an irritated order. “Shut the damn door.”







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