Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ [MSTing] The Light Of My Hopes ❯ Chapter 2
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Megane67 
Anime/Manga: Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Fantasy / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.07.2005 | Pages: 16 | Words: 7.8K | Visits: 276 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Fantasy / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.07.2005 | Pages: 16 | Words: 7.8K | Visits: 276 | Status: Completed
*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The future isn't what it used to be....)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON FIVE)
EPISODE 41: THE LIGHT OF MY HOPES PT. 2
(A Sailor Moon/Escaflowne/Gundam Wing/Card Captor Sakura/Fushigi
Yuugi/Dragon Ball Z Crossover MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7, Zoogz and Lynxara
(megane67@rogers.com) (zoogz@yahoo.com) (lynxara@gmail.com )
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering
my own ass here folks....
"Light Of My Hopes" is the property of Tenshi Cat. She has given me
permission to MST her work and I greatly appriciate it. :)
* * *
(Door 6: It's a metal door with no knob. Before you can do anything, it's
yanked off its hinges from the other side by a tow truck.)
(Door 5: It's an old fashioned elevator. Both sets of doors open for you
as you pass through.)
(Door 4: It's made of dominoes. You tip the lead one over and watch as
the pile slowly lowers until it's half its original size and you step over it.)
(Door 3: It's filled with cute stuffed toys. You cuddle them for awhile
before proceeding.)
(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Ankh floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)
(Door 1: It's a castle gate that rises into the ceiling, revealing a
drawbridge that slowly lowers to the ground. You cross it cautiously,
looking for moat monsters.)
(Door .7: It's a swirling blue vortex. Suddenly a large hand reaches out
of its center and pulls you inside.)
Joel emerged from the vortex into the theater with Tom in his arms,
Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping
over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his
own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to
him, Crow sitting on his right.
>THE LIGHTS OF MY HOPES: USAGI BEFRIENDS SHINIGAMI
Tom: <Shao Khan> FRIENDSHIP?!
>Usagi sat up and saw a male with cobalt eyes with dark brown hair
>that was tied into a braid on his back,
Crow: Ugh, he was braiding his BACK hair?!
>"And you are?" she questioned as she looked around.
Joel: <man> The name's Willie Nelson. And if you've got the money,
honey, I've got the time....
>The room was dark and was only lighten up by the glowing red from
>the walls. Her dress was scorched black in a few places while her
>skin was untouched. She then realized that she landed on bed where
>the male was under the covers. Usagi blushed.
Joel: <Usagi> Um, d-do you come with the mattress?
>The male smirked at the blushing Usagi, "Name's Shinigami, and the
>high lord of Hell. The man any girl wants and the jokester of the other
>worlds. But you, Tenshi, can call me Duo," He smirked again at her
>shocked face. (Surprise, surprise)
Crow: Sound effects provided by Shoestring.
Tom: <Usagi> Does that make me Proserpina?
>"Oh," Usagi said, but then frowned, "Name's Usagi NOT Tenshi."
>Duo grinned, "Tenshi's the perfect name for a beautiful girl like you,
>Tenshi."
Crow: <Usagi> Well, the lack of rabbit puns WOULD be a relief....
Joel: What, angel puns are a step up?
>Usagi blushed at that comment and was about to say something but
>was interrupted as a blue star seed flew into their line of vision.
Tom: <Usagi> Scram, Mercury, I'm trying to score here!
>Usagi gasped. Duo stared at in confusion but then heard Usagi whisper,
>"Sailor Mercury..."
>Immediately Duo knew what it was and that it was really special to
>Usagi. He grabbed the blue star seed and ran out of the room with
>only his boxers on.
Tom: Stunned by the unexpected fanservice, Usagi could only
ogle as Duo made a clean getaway....
>Usagi narrowed her eyes and shouted after him, "That's mine!" with
>that said, or shouted, she ran after him.
Joel: <author> Eh, I'll just fix that in post-production.
>She stumbled off the bed and ran out the door. She then ran towards
>the disappearing braid around the corner. She almost caught his braid
>but missed.
>"You got to be faster than that!" yelled Duo as he laughed.
Tom: Duo Maxwell *IS* Professor Zoom!
>He passed some torturers, who sweat dropped, but then ignored
>Shinigami. He was always like that.
Crow: <Spook> A-hem! My spine is starting to compress here!
>The she-devils tried flirting with running Shinigami who was in his
>boxers. He ignored them for there was a way prettier girl behind him.
>Usagi passed the torturers and the she-devils. She ignored everything,
>every once in a while flames shot out from the lava around her, she
>even ignored that. From all the stories she heard about Hell being as
>hot as the desert, well they're wrong, for she was hardly sweating at all.
Joel: So we've gone from Evil Heaven to Half-Assed Hell?
Tom: Maybe she's actually in Hell, Michigan.
>"Come on!" urged Duo while laughing, which was a mistake for he
>quickly out of breath. After a minute of laughing Usagi tackled him
>onto the ground.
Tom: <Usagi> ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOT-BALL?!?
Joel: Meanwhile, JC and Gooch were waiting, plotting their revenge....
>Usagi was on top of him, trying to weigh him down. But, hey, he was
>Shinigami, which gave him a big advantage. With a swift movement
>he was on top of her, smirking with satisfaction.
Crow: ...only to be shocked when Usagi reversed into an inside cradle
for the three count!
>"I've never had so much fun for at least a century now," Duo whispered
>into her ear. Usagi shivered.
>Her hands were placed on his bare chest. The touch constantly caused
>static between them, but she ignored it,
Joel: Oh, Usagi, you should never ignore static cling.
>"I believe that Mercury's star seed belongs to me," She stated in anger.
Crow: I believe Mercury's star seed belongs to Mercury?
>Duo stared into her sapphire eyes, "Sorry I claimed it," he smirked.
>Usagi's eyes narrowed, "YOU WHAT!" she screamed.
>Duo laughed sheepishly then said, "Well, I touched it first."
Crow: Pfft. Yeah, that's how men always think it works.
>"So! I saw it first!" pouted Usagi in a kawaii way as Duo got off of her.
Tom: When in doubt, act like a slut! Good going, Usagi!
>Usagi sat up.
>Duo smirked again at her pouting face and shrugged, "Too bad, so
>sad, get over it."
Tom: So while Heaven is high school, Hell is kindergarten?
Joel: <Usagi> Hmph! I'll just claim your castle in the sandbox then!
>Usagi tackled him onto the ground again, taking him by surprise. They
>rolled around in the dark red ground for a while.
All: <singing> But nothing lasts... forever.... only love... pads the fic....
>"Hn..."
>At the voice the two stopped with Usagi on top, "Yeah?" Duo turned
>his head to the side to look at his messenger/assassin.
>His messenger had brown hair with piercing blue eyes, "Nakago wants
>to talk to you."
>"No prob Heero!" Duo said as Heero walked away.
Tom: Well, at least heaven and hell have equal bishounen representation.
>Duo turned his head to look at Usagi; she stared back at him. Those
>eyes drew him in. Slowly his lips claimed her lips. Usagi eye's
>widened, the static between then rose.
Tom: Painful electric shocks began to scorch her skin...
>She couldn't resist it any more;
>she slowly closed her eyes and replied to the kiss.
Crow: She's getting three times more tail than she ever got alive.
>Duo had a warm feeling enter him when Usagi replied. Their body heat
>intense the kiss more. Duo wrapped his arms around Usagi's waist,
>deepening the kiss. After a minute they broke the kiss for air. Usagi was
>panting.
Crow: <Usagi> Is it getting hot in here... or is it just Hell?
Joel: <Duo> So, uh, d-did I kiss you okay? Cause, you know, i-if I didn't,
I can do better! Really!
>She blushed as she pulled away from the warm embrace of his arms.
>She stood up and frowned, 'What are you thinking Usagi! You have to
>get back to Heaven and tell God that everything's wrong,' she scolded
>herself.
Tom: <Usagi> Hey Duo? How much for a bus uptown? Do I need a
transfer?
>Duo got up and smirked. Usagi saw this and turned around quickly in
>anger. As soon as she did that an unknown force pulled on one of
>Duo's heartstrings, but he shrugged it off. He snapped his fingers and
>he was dressed in a black priest out fit with a cross necklace.
Crow: A canon outfit! Gasp! Shock!
>"Come on," he said with a grin. Usagi turned to face him and thought
>that he was quite handsome in that outfit.
Crow: I've heard of girls going for the FATHER figure but yikes....
Joel: <Usagi> Bless me father, for I will be sinning...
>'Get a grip, Usagi,' she scolded herself again. She took a deep breath
>and followed him. She practically had no choice. He had Mercury's star
>seed and to be near her friend, she has to be near him.
Tom: <Usagi> Yeah, that justifies it. OK, time to get laid!
>~HEAVEN~
>Queen Selenity stood in Richard's a.k.a. God's room. The sun lighted
>up the room, something her daughter will never see again.
Joel: Yeah, she'll just have to settle for the endless FIRES of HELL for
those warm morning fuzzies....
Crow: Poor thing will just have to content herself with endless
rounds of cheap sex with hawt bishies in Hell. Le sigh.
>He spoke first, "What do you want?" He was annoyed.
>"How could you? How could you send your own flesh and blood to
>Hell?" she asked disgusted.
Joel: <Richard> Simple. *snap*
Crow: <Serenity> AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....!!
Joel: <Richard> And while you're down there, tell Jesus he still owes me
the rent!
>"You heard her, she doesn't consider me as her father," he explained.
>"Maybe if you got to know her..." Selenity pleaded.
Crow: <Richard> Sorry, time's up, I'm on vacation now! And I found
someone to replace me...
Tom: <Jim Carrey> Like a gloooove!
>"No. She's stubborn," he stated. Selenity exhaled sharply in tiredness,
>"But it's true you were never there for her! You never knew her pain
>or what torture she had gone through. You only saw Relena's history.
>A war with future technology!
Tom: Extremely toyetic, marketably technology!
>Relena has saw death at the age of fifteen, so did Usagi and more."
Joel: <Serenity> If only you stopped the Decepticons when
you had the chance!
Crow: <Richard> Don't blame me! They were in disguise!
>"HOLD YOUR TONGUE!" Selenity winced at his voice, "Who are
>you to judge what I decide? Get out."
Joel: He's less God than Princess Vi really.
Crow: <Richard> GUARDS! SEND HER TO PRISONER ISLAND!!!
>Selenity turned around and walked out, she stopped at the exit and said
>with unshed tears, "What happened to the man I met at the garden?"
Tom: <Serenity> The man that joined me in cheering the Hulkster
on to victory!
Joel: <Serenity> The man that took a hockey puck in the face for me
during the playoffs!
Crow: <Serenity> The man that ran out onto the field naked with a
marriage proposal written in body paint!
>With that said she walked out, one thing is for sure, and she wasn't
>going to give up.
>Richard sighed and whispered, "What happened to my Selenity?"
>~HELL~
Tom: That's a good guess.
>Usagi followed Duo across a stone bridge in a dark red cave. Some of
>the rocks in the cave arched like a rib cage. Below the bridge was
>lava; fire was shooting out from the hot liquid.
Joel: Wow... I'm feeling warmer and fuzzier by the second!
>They went out of the cave and into a red blocked building. When they
>reached the entrance Duo turned around and faced her, then said with
>a grin, "Welcome to the Hell Council Building. Here we have all my
>devil advisors on the left, to the right are my messengers and my
>assassins and at the front entrance are some of my favorite
>she-devils,"
Crow: <Duo> And over there, those trolls handle our accounting.
Joel: <Duo> We'll start the meeting as soon as Catbert finishes
cutting the training budget.
>Duo said in a tour guide kind of a way then he sat on a big chair and
>patted on a seat beside him, "You'll be sitting here,"
Joel: <Duo> Across the table... Frau Farbissina. And this is Number
Two....
Crow: <Scott> Hey, she's sitting in my seat!
Joel: <Duo> Shh!
>Usagi frowned but obeyed. She walked towards the seat and sat on it.
>The chair was hard yet perfectly shaped to comfort any person that is
>sitting on it.
Crow: That sentence is just BEGGING for a hentai riff.
Tom: <Odo> I gave up the Great Link for THIS??
>Duo grinned and then snapped his finger. Then immediately a big
>screen appeared in the air, it floated in mid air. On the screen was the
>face of a man with blond hair and blue eyes. He was around the same
>age of Usagi (Almost all the anime boys has to be around Usagi's age
>because I don't know who she should be with yet),
Joel: Heaven forbid she go with Gendo for that May-December romance...
>"Hey Nakago did you assassinate Wufei?" Duo asked.
>The man named Nakago replied, "Yes, my Lord."
Tom: <Duo> Such is the fate of all who would walk on my grass.
>Duo smiled and yelled with glee, "Yay! Wu-man's comin' to Hell!"
>Usagi stared at him as if he was crazy, "How do you know he's coming
>to Hell?"
Joel: <Duo> It's the next spot on his world tour!
Tom: <Duo> He was caught clubbing baby seals without a permit.
>Duo stopped and stared at her. The she-devils stopped trying to wink
>at Shinigami and looked at Usagi as >if she's crazy. No one snapped at
>Shinigami like that.
Tom: <Duo as Chris Tucker> I'll bitchslap your ass back to Heaven, girl!
>Everyone expected that Shinigami would blow but instead he took it
>easy and said, "Because he killed people with no remorse," Then he
>thought with a smirk, 'I bet they were thinking I was going to blow my
>stack. Like come on! Blow my stack at such a perfect girl as her? No
>way!'
Crow: Most men would say the opposite.
Joel: Wow, who knew Satan could be so calm and understanding?
>"Oh," Usagi frowned.
>Duo grinned and clapped his hands and said, "Nakago come back to
>Hell and... dismissed," All the people in the council left in a single file.
>Usagi sat there not knowing what to do.
>"Come on babe, let's go," Duo as Usagi followed him.
>"It's Usagi," she stated with a frown.
Crow: <Duo> Whatever, dollface.
Tom: <Duo> Let's have a romantic stroll watching sinners slowly
drown in lava!
>Duo just smirked as they walked across the bridge then back to the
>place where they kissed and into his room, "So you're the Tsuki no
>Hime?" he said in an amused voice.
>Usagi froze as tension entered her body, "How?"
Crow: <Duo> That was my question, how's a ditz like you get the job?
>"How did I know? Well, I'm Shinigami. You know the ruler of Hell.
>In other words, your aura gives things away, ya know?" Duo said as if
>it's nothing at all.
Joel: Well, it's nothing that makes any sort of sense.
>The 16-year-old girl stood there then said as calmly as she could, "You
>can read my aura?"
Tom: <Duo> Once I parse this extremely muddled prose, I can get to it
eventually.
>"Yeah, why?" Duo asked as he plopped onto his bed. He lied there on
>his stomach and looked up at her.
Joel: The old farts were right! Teenagers ARE the devil!
>"It's just that almost no one could ever read my aura except for the
>people I care for," Usagi explained as he motioned her to sit on the
>bed. She hesitantly moved towards the bed sat down on the side.
Joel: <Usagi> You'll still respect me in the morning, right? I'm NOT
going to end up as yet another after-school special... right??
>"Well almost no one would ever snap at me, unless the want to fade
>out of existent," Duo was smirking as he said that.
>Usagi blushed, "Sorry I didn't want to snap at you, it's just that I
>needed to place my anger out."
Tom: <Usagi> You see... <singing> When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all
the way, from your first cigarette....
>Duo blinked, then after a minute or two he asked, "So, what exactly
>did you do to get to Hell? You're supposed to be an angel, especially
>since your Richard's daughter."
Joel: <Usagi> I played a Wham album backwards, next thing I knew, I
was here.
>"I slapped Relena," Usagi said in disgust.
>Duo sat up immediately and stared at her in shock and said, "I should
>be torturing the hell out of you now," Usagi shrugged.
Crow: <Usagi> That pun was torture enough.
>"Why would you do that?" Duo asked, no longer the carefree guy but
>the serious one.
Crow: Ah, Duo's other personality trait.
Tom: <Duo> Just call me Version 1.
>"She was killing my friends, the sailor senshi," Usagi explained in pain.
Joel: She was tampering in God's... oh, sorry, Richard's domain.
>Duo bit his lower lip and said with a sigh, "Sorry, Tenshi, but I'll have
>to give the Mercury star seed to Relena,"
>"NO!" Usagi screamed in half anger and half shock, "You can't because
>she doesn't deserve to be the ruler of the universe,"
Joel: Only ruler she deserves is one upside her bum.
Tom: She doesn't even have the secret of Black Water, much less the
power of Greyskull...
Crow: I like how Relena being a bitch is a bigger deal than her being a
homicidal maniac.
>Duo looked at her with interest then said, "I made a deal with your
>father,"
Tom: <Duo> And it looks like your father sent me the Zonk prize.
>"Father?" she spat out, "No father would use his own daughters like the
>way God did,"
>Duo eyes softened, "Fine I won't give it to her now, but I'm not
>guaranteeing that I wouldn't give it to her later."
Crow: <Duo> I smell renegotiation!
Joel: <Usagi> I smell a rat.
>Usagi tackled him on his back with a hug, "Oh thanks Duo!"
Joel: <Usagi> Thanks for maybe possibly not betraying me!
>Duo grinned. Usagi then suddenly stopped and got off of him. Duo sat
>up confused.
Crow: Their screen heat is just a touch bit higher than... oh say, Maverick
and Iceman.
>Usagi then whispered, "But I can't let her get any star seeds ever. How
>could I do that?"
>Duo grinned and said, "Easy, get Shinigami to allow you to go to the
>living world," he informed not so smartly. He gasped and covered his
>mouth as saw Usagi put on pleading eyes with unshed tears, "Oh no,"
>he said while shaking his head.
Tom: His ability to keep a secret hidden puts Mamoru's to shame.
Joel: <Duo> Oh man! The vault's been breached! Seinfeld's gonna
kill me!
>"Come on I really need to go back and help my friends, please?" she
>pleaded.
>Duo looked away, but Usagi's plead got the best of him. He sighed and
>said, "Fine, but I'll have to go with you,"
>Usagi beamed at him, which caused him not regret what he had just done,
>"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Usagi thanked him. (No, duh)
Crow: <Chris Griffin> Fourth Wall! You're BREAKING the fourth
WALL!!!
Tom: So which of Usagi's ideas is worse... pissing off God or letting
Satan out of hell? You be the judge!
>Duo grinned, "No prob," 'I guess,' he thought. He was grinning at her
>when he snapped his head up. His smile grew even larger, "Wu-man
>is here!"
Crow: <Duo as Animal> WU-MAN! WU-MAN! WU-MAN!
>Usagi felt it to. The man named Wufei has come to Hell. His aura was
>cold, yet full of pride.
>~EARTH~
>Mamoru sat there on his couch, not thinking of anything but his Usako.
Tom: <Mamoru> The cash settlement from the truck company
has me set for life! Your brave sacrifice was not in vain, Usako!
>No. Not his anymore, not after what he had done. Don't get hi wrong
>or anything, He loves her very much, it's just that he has needs as
>well, manly needs. (Cough, cough)
Crow: <Mamoru> One today, a different one tomorrow...
Joel: Yep, cheating is still hip.
>He closed his eyes and leaned his into the soft couch.
Tom: The vibrator buzzed at full power.
>There was pain in his heart, wanting her to come back to him like the
>many times she did. He bit his lower lip and opened his eyes staring
>at the ceiling, he could feel that he was dying from love lost.
>'Usako...' he thought.
Crow: Meanwhile, the red-haired girl finally plunged Mamoru's
toilet free.
>~ENDLESS SKY OF BLUE~
>Ami floated on her back in an endless sky of blue with clouds in the
>distance.
Joel: <Ami> Dammit... *baptism*! I knew I forgot to do something
yesterday....
>She was dressed in her senshi fuku. The soft wind hummed in her ear
>like soft music.
Joel: <Ami, singing> Care-a-lot... is a place we all can go....
>"Ami!" a familiar voice greeted her ears.
>"Huh..." Ami opened her eyes slowly. When her eyes were fully open
>she seemed to have floated to an upright position.
>Then a blond haired teenager came into her view, "Hey there!"
Tom: <Ami> Zack Morris?
>"Minako?" Ami questioned.
>The girl, Minako, smiled and replied, "Hai!"
>"Where are we?" Ami asked as her eyes turned from dazed to concern.
>"We're at the nonexistence realm," answered a brunette.
Joel: <Minako> Everybody do the Limbo!
Crow: <Brunette> Please note the emergency exits at the beginning and
end of Eternity.
>"Makoto?" Ami said in surprise.
>"Not only her," said the raven-haired teenager.
>"Rei..." Ami said in a mere whisper, but then questioned, "What exactly
>is the nonexistence realm?"
Tom: <Rei> We're the waitstaff for the Restaurant at the End of the
Universe.
Joel: <Ami> That's ludicrous.
Tom: <Rei> Fine, then YOU explain the Improbability Drive.
Joel: <Ami> Uhh... well...
>Makoto sighed and explained, "Well it's exactly what it's called. We
>don't exist anymore, instead we just watch the people who do exist
>or talk."
>Ami eyes narrowed in determination, "Let's watch Usagi."
>Rei nodded, "That's what we've been doing."
Crow: <Rei> It's not like we get cable or anything.
>"Usagi went to Hell," Minako said sadly.
>Ami nodded as a screen appeared out of thin air seeing Usagi with
>Shinigami walking towards the Hell Gate.
Joel: <Ami> DON'T GO INTO THE HELL GATE, USAGI!!!
>~HELL~
>Usagi walked beside Duo to the big dark red gate. Usagi licked her
>parched lips when the gates opened to reveal a boy with slick black
>hair tied into a tight ponytail.
Crow: <Usagi> Frankie Santana!? Oh god, I really AM in hell!
Joel: She's in hell and the only thing parched are her LIPS?
>"Wu-man!" Duo shouted with glee as he ran towards Wufei.
>"Maxwell! It's Wufei NOT Wu-man," the Chinese said in anger.
>Duo pouted cutely, "Well, I'm Shinigami NOT Duo," he imitated
>Wufei perfectly.
Tom: <Admiral Stockdale> Who am I? Why am I here?
>Usagi giggled, but then stopped when the guys were glaring at her. She
>inhaled and forced herself to put a straight face on. Wufei narrowed
>his eyes at Duo. Duo just stared. The so called staring contest lasted
>about ten seconds when Shinigami turns around and walked towards
>Usagi saying,
Joel: <Duo> OK, which one of us blinked first? Choose wisely....
>"Trowa you shall see to it that our friend WUFEI get aquatinted with
>Hell." With that said Duo took Usagi's hand in a gentlemanly matter
>and led her to Hell Gate.
Tom: Situated on forty beautiful acres of ash and next to Lake
Brimstone, HELL GATE is your housing community of the future!
>"And where are YOU going?" a girl with green eyes asked. She was
>leaning on the wall with her arms crossed over her chest.
>Duo stopped in mid track and faced her, then answered with a grin,
>"Well, Soi, I'm going to earth."
Crow: <Duo> I'm going to put the fear of RICHARD into that little
Mexican girl!
>Soi frowned and said, "We need you here."
>Duo rolled his eyes and replied simply, "Heero will replace me."
Joel: And then he'll balance and rotate Duo before giving him a forty-five
point inspection.
>Heero stared at Shinigami and nodded. Duo gave him a grin, and then
>took Usagi's hand again. Duo ran through the gate with Usagi trailing
>behind.
>Soi eyes narrowed and thought, 'What's so special about that girl that
>caused Shinigami to allow her to go back to the living world and have
>him personally protect her?'
Joel: <singing> Cause she's got... personality!
Crow: Maybe she has pictures of naked Duo with a Totoro?
>~HEAVEN~
>Miaka was pacing around in her room, bored, sad and worried for
>her sister.
Joel: Which one? She has, like, twenty.
>"She shouldn't have been so angry," Hitomi said worriedly for the tenth
>time from Miaka's bed. Sakura and Tomoyo nodded in agreement.
Tom: Tonight, Hitomi... tomorrow night, Sakura sleeps with Miaka...
>"Do you think father will forgive her?" Tomoyo asked.
>Sakura shook her head in dismay, "Most likely not, Usagi wouldn't
>even admit God as our father."
Crow: <Usagi as Harrison Ford> NO TICKET.
>Miaka stopped pacing and said with a frown, "But... she's right. Relena
>is... spoiled."
>The girls nodded as Quatre, Hotohori and Allen came in the room.
Tom: This "Friends" spin-off needs some work.
>"We received news that Usagi-hime was not so easily sucked in by
>Shinigami's boyish charms," Allen said.
>Hitomi blinked, "She hasn't?"
>Hotohori shook his head and asked, "Why?"
>Miaka answered that question with a bright smile, "Because most
>girls do."
Joel: ....
Crow: I'm sure on some distant planet that explanation makes perfect
sense....
Tom: Rrrrrright... the fact that Duo is holding her best friend hostage
and is completely untrustworthy has NOTHING to do with it.
>Quatre nodded while saying, "Usagi-hime befriended Shinigami and is
>now on earth."
>The girls nodded in disbelief that someone, mainly a girl like Usagi, has
>befriended him so fast.
>Allen then spoke, "We have no idea how they became friends so fast,
>but that is how the stars are written."
Crow: <Hitomi> Hey, that's my gig!
>Miaka's face straightened and said seriously, "The planets and stars tell
>all. They tell nothing, but the truth. They are the ones that pick the true
>Cosmos ruler, not God or Shinigami."
Joel: So God is less powerful than the sparkly little lights He put in the
firmament on the fourth day?
Tom: No, we're still at Richard.
Joel: Oh, yeah.
>Quartre nodded, "So whatever happens, the Cosmos system chooses its
>ruler. The only way to get by that is to merge the star seeds by hand."
>Hitomi swallowed and prayed to the Cosmos system, "Please, don't let
>the ruler be Relena."
Crow: <KOS-MOS> IT IS EXPEDIENT THAT I RULE. THIS
WOULD BE 1000% MORE OPTIMUM THAN RICHARD AT
PRESENT.
>~QUEEN SELENITY'S PALACE~
>The Queen sat on her throne and whispered to her self, "The planets
>and stars are the true rulers of the Cosmos system, and yet they need
>somebody to represent them."
Crow: People in frilly, color-coded outfits....
>She closed her eyes to think, 'Even I can't help you, my daughter. If you
>don't want Relena to succeed, then you must complete a very difficult
>task.'
Tom: <Serenity> You need to go to Super Sailor Moon as you summon
Suzaku and only then can you become super Saiyan and find the Fire
Flower AND the Tanooki Suit!
>~A MANSION ON EARTH~
>Hotaru sat on her bed panting lightly.
Tom: Her master already told her to lay down, beg and fetch the stick....
Crow: Okay, let go now, girl! L-Let go!
>She just had a dream about Sailor Galaxia trying to tell her that the
>planets are lining up for a special occasion and
Tom: Tickets were $35 each through Ticketmaster.
>that Hotaru needed to keep herself out of reach from one
>of the God's daughters before that occasion or Heaven and Hell would
>go into war...
Joel: <Galaxia> I found someone to hide you with... a scientist by the
name of Tomoe...
Crow: <Hotaru> D'oh!
>That was all Hotaru got because a ki ball hit Galaxia dead center,
>bringing the former Light of Hope (In my story Usagi's star seed is now
>the light of hope, considering that she was the one who destroyed Chaos)
>back to life. But before the star seed could fly away a hand grabbed it.
Tom: Wall Masters from Zelda are really moving up in the world....
Crow: <shudders>
>"The enemy is strong,' Hotaru thought.
>~NONEXISTENCE REALM~
Tom: <Hotaru> All these unbaptized babies...
Crow: <Mina> Yeah, you can't swing a dead Artemis around
without hitting one or three.
>The Golden Senshi floated down and landed up right. Her eyes shot
>open, looking at the inner senshi, "So this is the nonexistence
>realm," she stated.
>The inner nodded as Jupiter said, "Nice of you to drop in."
>Galaxia smiled slightly, "I didn't get a chance to finish telling Saturn
>my warning."
>"What was the rest of it?" Mars asked.
Joel: <Galaxia> Duck.
>She licked her lips and replied, "Hotaru must not let the enemy get her
>star seed before the planets line up or Relena will become the Queen
>of the Stars. If the planets and stars agree with it then they'll accept it."
>"What if they don't accept it?" Mercury asked.
Tom: <Galaxia> Much like the UN, they'll be ignored.
>Galaxia replied, "Then Heaven and Hell will have to go into war with
>the Cosmos system, even if Relena merge the star seeds by hand. Such
>a fight will be so awful that the people that live on the planets will get
>affected too. The people won't know which side to take, the one's that
>are neutral will probably get killed anyway by the acts of the others."
Crow: About time Switzerland bought it.
Tom: <Galaxia> We tried to get the Organians involved but they're too
busy with the Klingon/Tribble peace accord.
>Venus gasped in horror.
>Galaxia nodded, "I know... it's horrible."
Joel: <Galaxia> I should've had that mole removed before I died. Now
it'll be my eternal mistake.
>I KNOW THAT THIS CHAPTER IS NOT AS LONG AS THE FIRST
>CHAPTER, BUT THAT'S AS MUCH AS I CAN GIVE YOU RIGHT
>NOW.
Crow: Relena finally picked a GOOD target.
Joel: <author> I've written all I stands and I can't stands no more!
>VOTE FOR WHOM YOU WANT USAGI TO BE WITH EVEN
>THOUGH IT SEEMS LIKE DUO IS GOING TO GET THE GIRL,
>BUT VOTES CAN GET YOU ALMOST ANYWHERE!
Crow: Red-haired girl!
Tom: Richard!
Joel: Take the box!
>PLEASE R/R!
>TENSHI CAT
(Joel picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater)
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"Now here's something we hope you'll really like!" Joel exclaimed as
Cambot abruptly faded to black and slow piano music began to play....
Tom: <VO> This Thursday on NBC....
>When she was in front of the apartment's door she started to reach for
>the knob when, all of a sudden, Mamoru opened the door while kissing
>a red headed woman.
>Usagi gasped as the basket fell on to the ground. The contents flew out
>onto the floor.
Tom: <VO> A betrayal leads to tragedy....
>She ran onto the street, not realizing the fact that a truck was heading
>for her way. Mamoru stopped at the sidewalk and was about to shout
>STOP, but it was too late the truck slammed into her, instantly killing
>her.
Tom: <VO> And tragedy leads to... high school.
>She was walking towards Heaven High until, as usual, she knocked into
>someone, "Sorry, I wasn't watching," she apologized.
>
>"No it's ok," The male voice replied. Usagi looked up just to look into
>sapphire eyes, "My name is Quartre,"
>
>She smiled, "Usagi,"
Tom: <VO> But all is not as it seems in Heaven...
>"Crybaby," teased a mocking voice of Relena.
>Usagi stopped as she shut her eyes tightly trying to keep the tears in.
>"You're weak," Relena insulted again.
Tom: <VO> And tempers soon flare out of control...
>Usagi snapped, "YOU BITCH!!!" she screamed as she slapped Relena
>across the face. Everyone gasped. Relena was in shock. She held the
>side of her face with her hand.
Tom: <VO> While Heaven leads to Hell....
>YOU are not responsible in your daughters. It's always Relena! You
>even used you daughters to give Relena the title of soon to be ruler of
>the universe. WHAT KIND OF PARENT ARE YOU?!?!?!"
>"SHUT UP!!!!!" God yelled, everyone was in total shock from this girl's
>whole talk. "YOU HAVE DISPLAYED YOUR IGNORANCE! FOR
>YOUR PUNISHMENT YOU'LL GO TO HELL!"
Tom: <VO> And hatred to love...
>"I've never had so much fun for at least a century now," Duo whispered
>into her ear. Usagi shivered.
>Her hands were placed on his bare chest. The touch constantly caused
>static between them,
Tom: <VO> What will happen next? Find out this Thursday... on 'DUO'!
Cambot faded back up as Joel grinned into the camera. "Pretty neat,
huh?
Suddenly, alarms wailed and multicolored lights flashed.
"Oops, we've got FANFIC SIGN!!" Joel cried out as he rushed back
into the theater....
TO BE CONTINUED IN 'THE LIGHT OF MY HOPES' PT. 3....
Hiya! I hope you're enjoying this MSTing so far! As with my other
multiple part MSTings, there's lots more fun and weirdness to come, so
don't skip it or you'll only be missing out on some great riffing and skits. ;)
(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)
(The future isn't what it used to be....)
"MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 6.7" (SEASON FIVE)
EPISODE 41: THE LIGHT OF MY HOPES PT. 2
(A Sailor Moon/Escaflowne/Gundam Wing/Card Captor Sakura/Fushigi
Yuugi/Dragon Ball Z Crossover MSTing)
MSTed From the Desk of Megane 6.7, Zoogz and Lynxara
(megane67@rogers.com) (zoogz@yahoo.com) (lynxara@gmail.com )
This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.
Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment
purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or
trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.
Any random mention of certain anime characters, song titles, etc. are
the property of their respected creators/distributors/etc. Just covering
my own ass here folks....
"Light Of My Hopes" is the property of Tenshi Cat. She has given me
permission to MST her work and I greatly appriciate it. :)
* * *
(Door 6: It's a metal door with no knob. Before you can do anything, it's
yanked off its hinges from the other side by a tow truck.)
(Door 5: It's an old fashioned elevator. Both sets of doors open for you
as you pass through.)
(Door 4: It's made of dominoes. You tip the lead one over and watch as
the pile slowly lowers until it's half its original size and you step over it.)
(Door 3: It's filled with cute stuffed toys. You cuddle them for awhile
before proceeding.)
(Door 2. It's solid black marble. An Ankh floats from behind you and
touches the door. The door vanishes.)
(Door 1: It's a castle gate that rises into the ceiling, revealing a
drawbridge that slowly lowers to the ground. You cross it cautiously,
looking for moat monsters.)
(Door .7: It's a swirling blue vortex. Suddenly a large hand reaches out
of its center and pulls you inside.)
Joel emerged from the vortex into the theater with Tom in his arms,
Crow emerging a moment later and following close behind. Stepping
over the air grate that prevented Tom from entering the theater on his
own, Joel placed him down on one of the theater seats and sat next to
him, Crow sitting on his right.
>THE LIGHTS OF MY HOPES: USAGI BEFRIENDS SHINIGAMI
Tom: <Shao Khan> FRIENDSHIP?!
>Usagi sat up and saw a male with cobalt eyes with dark brown hair
>that was tied into a braid on his back,
Crow: Ugh, he was braiding his BACK hair?!
>"And you are?" she questioned as she looked around.
Joel: <man> The name's Willie Nelson. And if you've got the money,
honey, I've got the time....
>The room was dark and was only lighten up by the glowing red from
>the walls. Her dress was scorched black in a few places while her
>skin was untouched. She then realized that she landed on bed where
>the male was under the covers. Usagi blushed.
Joel: <Usagi> Um, d-do you come with the mattress?
>The male smirked at the blushing Usagi, "Name's Shinigami, and the
>high lord of Hell. The man any girl wants and the jokester of the other
>worlds. But you, Tenshi, can call me Duo," He smirked again at her
>shocked face. (Surprise, surprise)
Crow: Sound effects provided by Shoestring.
Tom: <Usagi> Does that make me Proserpina?
>"Oh," Usagi said, but then frowned, "Name's Usagi NOT Tenshi."
>Duo grinned, "Tenshi's the perfect name for a beautiful girl like you,
>Tenshi."
Crow: <Usagi> Well, the lack of rabbit puns WOULD be a relief....
Joel: What, angel puns are a step up?
>Usagi blushed at that comment and was about to say something but
>was interrupted as a blue star seed flew into their line of vision.
Tom: <Usagi> Scram, Mercury, I'm trying to score here!
>Usagi gasped. Duo stared at in confusion but then heard Usagi whisper,
>"Sailor Mercury..."
>Immediately Duo knew what it was and that it was really special to
>Usagi. He grabbed the blue star seed and ran out of the room with
>only his boxers on.
Tom: Stunned by the unexpected fanservice, Usagi could only
ogle as Duo made a clean getaway....
>Usagi narrowed her eyes and shouted after him, "That's mine!" with
>that said, or shouted, she ran after him.
Joel: <author> Eh, I'll just fix that in post-production.
>She stumbled off the bed and ran out the door. She then ran towards
>the disappearing braid around the corner. She almost caught his braid
>but missed.
>"You got to be faster than that!" yelled Duo as he laughed.
Tom: Duo Maxwell *IS* Professor Zoom!
>He passed some torturers, who sweat dropped, but then ignored
>Shinigami. He was always like that.
Crow: <Spook> A-hem! My spine is starting to compress here!
>The she-devils tried flirting with running Shinigami who was in his
>boxers. He ignored them for there was a way prettier girl behind him.
>Usagi passed the torturers and the she-devils. She ignored everything,
>every once in a while flames shot out from the lava around her, she
>even ignored that. From all the stories she heard about Hell being as
>hot as the desert, well they're wrong, for she was hardly sweating at all.
Joel: So we've gone from Evil Heaven to Half-Assed Hell?
Tom: Maybe she's actually in Hell, Michigan.
>"Come on!" urged Duo while laughing, which was a mistake for he
>quickly out of breath. After a minute of laughing Usagi tackled him
>onto the ground.
Tom: <Usagi> ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOT-BALL?!?
Joel: Meanwhile, JC and Gooch were waiting, plotting their revenge....
>Usagi was on top of him, trying to weigh him down. But, hey, he was
>Shinigami, which gave him a big advantage. With a swift movement
>he was on top of her, smirking with satisfaction.
Crow: ...only to be shocked when Usagi reversed into an inside cradle
for the three count!
>"I've never had so much fun for at least a century now," Duo whispered
>into her ear. Usagi shivered.
>Her hands were placed on his bare chest. The touch constantly caused
>static between them, but she ignored it,
Joel: Oh, Usagi, you should never ignore static cling.
>"I believe that Mercury's star seed belongs to me," She stated in anger.
Crow: I believe Mercury's star seed belongs to Mercury?
>Duo stared into her sapphire eyes, "Sorry I claimed it," he smirked.
>Usagi's eyes narrowed, "YOU WHAT!" she screamed.
>Duo laughed sheepishly then said, "Well, I touched it first."
Crow: Pfft. Yeah, that's how men always think it works.
>"So! I saw it first!" pouted Usagi in a kawaii way as Duo got off of her.
Tom: When in doubt, act like a slut! Good going, Usagi!
>Usagi sat up.
>Duo smirked again at her pouting face and shrugged, "Too bad, so
>sad, get over it."
Tom: So while Heaven is high school, Hell is kindergarten?
Joel: <Usagi> Hmph! I'll just claim your castle in the sandbox then!
>Usagi tackled him onto the ground again, taking him by surprise. They
>rolled around in the dark red ground for a while.
All: <singing> But nothing lasts... forever.... only love... pads the fic....
>"Hn..."
>At the voice the two stopped with Usagi on top, "Yeah?" Duo turned
>his head to the side to look at his messenger/assassin.
>His messenger had brown hair with piercing blue eyes, "Nakago wants
>to talk to you."
>"No prob Heero!" Duo said as Heero walked away.
Tom: Well, at least heaven and hell have equal bishounen representation.
>Duo turned his head to look at Usagi; she stared back at him. Those
>eyes drew him in. Slowly his lips claimed her lips. Usagi eye's
>widened, the static between then rose.
Tom: Painful electric shocks began to scorch her skin...
>She couldn't resist it any more;
>she slowly closed her eyes and replied to the kiss.
Crow: She's getting three times more tail than she ever got alive.
>Duo had a warm feeling enter him when Usagi replied. Their body heat
>intense the kiss more. Duo wrapped his arms around Usagi's waist,
>deepening the kiss. After a minute they broke the kiss for air. Usagi was
>panting.
Crow: <Usagi> Is it getting hot in here... or is it just Hell?
Joel: <Duo> So, uh, d-did I kiss you okay? Cause, you know, i-if I didn't,
I can do better! Really!
>She blushed as she pulled away from the warm embrace of his arms.
>She stood up and frowned, 'What are you thinking Usagi! You have to
>get back to Heaven and tell God that everything's wrong,' she scolded
>herself.
Tom: <Usagi> Hey Duo? How much for a bus uptown? Do I need a
transfer?
>Duo got up and smirked. Usagi saw this and turned around quickly in
>anger. As soon as she did that an unknown force pulled on one of
>Duo's heartstrings, but he shrugged it off. He snapped his fingers and
>he was dressed in a black priest out fit with a cross necklace.
Crow: A canon outfit! Gasp! Shock!
>"Come on," he said with a grin. Usagi turned to face him and thought
>that he was quite handsome in that outfit.
Crow: I've heard of girls going for the FATHER figure but yikes....
Joel: <Usagi> Bless me father, for I will be sinning...
>'Get a grip, Usagi,' she scolded herself again. She took a deep breath
>and followed him. She practically had no choice. He had Mercury's star
>seed and to be near her friend, she has to be near him.
Tom: <Usagi> Yeah, that justifies it. OK, time to get laid!
>~HEAVEN~
>Queen Selenity stood in Richard's a.k.a. God's room. The sun lighted
>up the room, something her daughter will never see again.
Joel: Yeah, she'll just have to settle for the endless FIRES of HELL for
those warm morning fuzzies....
Crow: Poor thing will just have to content herself with endless
rounds of cheap sex with hawt bishies in Hell. Le sigh.
>He spoke first, "What do you want?" He was annoyed.
>"How could you? How could you send your own flesh and blood to
>Hell?" she asked disgusted.
Joel: <Richard> Simple. *snap*
Crow: <Serenity> AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....!!
Joel: <Richard> And while you're down there, tell Jesus he still owes me
the rent!
>"You heard her, she doesn't consider me as her father," he explained.
>"Maybe if you got to know her..." Selenity pleaded.
Crow: <Richard> Sorry, time's up, I'm on vacation now! And I found
someone to replace me...
Tom: <Jim Carrey> Like a gloooove!
>"No. She's stubborn," he stated. Selenity exhaled sharply in tiredness,
>"But it's true you were never there for her! You never knew her pain
>or what torture she had gone through. You only saw Relena's history.
>A war with future technology!
Tom: Extremely toyetic, marketably technology!
>Relena has saw death at the age of fifteen, so did Usagi and more."
Joel: <Serenity> If only you stopped the Decepticons when
you had the chance!
Crow: <Richard> Don't blame me! They were in disguise!
>"HOLD YOUR TONGUE!" Selenity winced at his voice, "Who are
>you to judge what I decide? Get out."
Joel: He's less God than Princess Vi really.
Crow: <Richard> GUARDS! SEND HER TO PRISONER ISLAND!!!
>Selenity turned around and walked out, she stopped at the exit and said
>with unshed tears, "What happened to the man I met at the garden?"
Tom: <Serenity> The man that joined me in cheering the Hulkster
on to victory!
Joel: <Serenity> The man that took a hockey puck in the face for me
during the playoffs!
Crow: <Serenity> The man that ran out onto the field naked with a
marriage proposal written in body paint!
>With that said she walked out, one thing is for sure, and she wasn't
>going to give up.
>Richard sighed and whispered, "What happened to my Selenity?"
>~HELL~
Tom: That's a good guess.
>Usagi followed Duo across a stone bridge in a dark red cave. Some of
>the rocks in the cave arched like a rib cage. Below the bridge was
>lava; fire was shooting out from the hot liquid.
Joel: Wow... I'm feeling warmer and fuzzier by the second!
>They went out of the cave and into a red blocked building. When they
>reached the entrance Duo turned around and faced her, then said with
>a grin, "Welcome to the Hell Council Building. Here we have all my
>devil advisors on the left, to the right are my messengers and my
>assassins and at the front entrance are some of my favorite
>she-devils,"
Crow: <Duo> And over there, those trolls handle our accounting.
Joel: <Duo> We'll start the meeting as soon as Catbert finishes
cutting the training budget.
>Duo said in a tour guide kind of a way then he sat on a big chair and
>patted on a seat beside him, "You'll be sitting here,"
Joel: <Duo> Across the table... Frau Farbissina. And this is Number
Two....
Crow: <Scott> Hey, she's sitting in my seat!
Joel: <Duo> Shh!
>Usagi frowned but obeyed. She walked towards the seat and sat on it.
>The chair was hard yet perfectly shaped to comfort any person that is
>sitting on it.
Crow: That sentence is just BEGGING for a hentai riff.
Tom: <Odo> I gave up the Great Link for THIS??
>Duo grinned and then snapped his finger. Then immediately a big
>screen appeared in the air, it floated in mid air. On the screen was the
>face of a man with blond hair and blue eyes. He was around the same
>age of Usagi (Almost all the anime boys has to be around Usagi's age
>because I don't know who she should be with yet),
Joel: Heaven forbid she go with Gendo for that May-December romance...
>"Hey Nakago did you assassinate Wufei?" Duo asked.
>The man named Nakago replied, "Yes, my Lord."
Tom: <Duo> Such is the fate of all who would walk on my grass.
>Duo smiled and yelled with glee, "Yay! Wu-man's comin' to Hell!"
>Usagi stared at him as if he was crazy, "How do you know he's coming
>to Hell?"
Joel: <Duo> It's the next spot on his world tour!
Tom: <Duo> He was caught clubbing baby seals without a permit.
>Duo stopped and stared at her. The she-devils stopped trying to wink
>at Shinigami and looked at Usagi as >if she's crazy. No one snapped at
>Shinigami like that.
Tom: <Duo as Chris Tucker> I'll bitchslap your ass back to Heaven, girl!
>Everyone expected that Shinigami would blow but instead he took it
>easy and said, "Because he killed people with no remorse," Then he
>thought with a smirk, 'I bet they were thinking I was going to blow my
>stack. Like come on! Blow my stack at such a perfect girl as her? No
>way!'
Crow: Most men would say the opposite.
Joel: Wow, who knew Satan could be so calm and understanding?
>"Oh," Usagi frowned.
>Duo grinned and clapped his hands and said, "Nakago come back to
>Hell and... dismissed," All the people in the council left in a single file.
>Usagi sat there not knowing what to do.
>"Come on babe, let's go," Duo as Usagi followed him.
>"It's Usagi," she stated with a frown.
Crow: <Duo> Whatever, dollface.
Tom: <Duo> Let's have a romantic stroll watching sinners slowly
drown in lava!
>Duo just smirked as they walked across the bridge then back to the
>place where they kissed and into his room, "So you're the Tsuki no
>Hime?" he said in an amused voice.
>Usagi froze as tension entered her body, "How?"
Crow: <Duo> That was my question, how's a ditz like you get the job?
>"How did I know? Well, I'm Shinigami. You know the ruler of Hell.
>In other words, your aura gives things away, ya know?" Duo said as if
>it's nothing at all.
Joel: Well, it's nothing that makes any sort of sense.
>The 16-year-old girl stood there then said as calmly as she could, "You
>can read my aura?"
Tom: <Duo> Once I parse this extremely muddled prose, I can get to it
eventually.
>"Yeah, why?" Duo asked as he plopped onto his bed. He lied there on
>his stomach and looked up at her.
Joel: The old farts were right! Teenagers ARE the devil!
>"It's just that almost no one could ever read my aura except for the
>people I care for," Usagi explained as he motioned her to sit on the
>bed. She hesitantly moved towards the bed sat down on the side.
Joel: <Usagi> You'll still respect me in the morning, right? I'm NOT
going to end up as yet another after-school special... right??
>"Well almost no one would ever snap at me, unless the want to fade
>out of existent," Duo was smirking as he said that.
>Usagi blushed, "Sorry I didn't want to snap at you, it's just that I
>needed to place my anger out."
Tom: <Usagi> You see... <singing> When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all
the way, from your first cigarette....
>Duo blinked, then after a minute or two he asked, "So, what exactly
>did you do to get to Hell? You're supposed to be an angel, especially
>since your Richard's daughter."
Joel: <Usagi> I played a Wham album backwards, next thing I knew, I
was here.
>"I slapped Relena," Usagi said in disgust.
>Duo sat up immediately and stared at her in shock and said, "I should
>be torturing the hell out of you now," Usagi shrugged.
Crow: <Usagi> That pun was torture enough.
>"Why would you do that?" Duo asked, no longer the carefree guy but
>the serious one.
Crow: Ah, Duo's other personality trait.
Tom: <Duo> Just call me Version 1.
>"She was killing my friends, the sailor senshi," Usagi explained in pain.
Joel: She was tampering in God's... oh, sorry, Richard's domain.
>Duo bit his lower lip and said with a sigh, "Sorry, Tenshi, but I'll have
>to give the Mercury star seed to Relena,"
>"NO!" Usagi screamed in half anger and half shock, "You can't because
>she doesn't deserve to be the ruler of the universe,"
Joel: Only ruler she deserves is one upside her bum.
Tom: She doesn't even have the secret of Black Water, much less the
power of Greyskull...
Crow: I like how Relena being a bitch is a bigger deal than her being a
homicidal maniac.
>Duo looked at her with interest then said, "I made a deal with your
>father,"
Tom: <Duo> And it looks like your father sent me the Zonk prize.
>"Father?" she spat out, "No father would use his own daughters like the
>way God did,"
>Duo eyes softened, "Fine I won't give it to her now, but I'm not
>guaranteeing that I wouldn't give it to her later."
Crow: <Duo> I smell renegotiation!
Joel: <Usagi> I smell a rat.
>Usagi tackled him on his back with a hug, "Oh thanks Duo!"
Joel: <Usagi> Thanks for maybe possibly not betraying me!
>Duo grinned. Usagi then suddenly stopped and got off of him. Duo sat
>up confused.
Crow: Their screen heat is just a touch bit higher than... oh say, Maverick
and Iceman.
>Usagi then whispered, "But I can't let her get any star seeds ever. How
>could I do that?"
>Duo grinned and said, "Easy, get Shinigami to allow you to go to the
>living world," he informed not so smartly. He gasped and covered his
>mouth as saw Usagi put on pleading eyes with unshed tears, "Oh no,"
>he said while shaking his head.
Tom: His ability to keep a secret hidden puts Mamoru's to shame.
Joel: <Duo> Oh man! The vault's been breached! Seinfeld's gonna
kill me!
>"Come on I really need to go back and help my friends, please?" she
>pleaded.
>Duo looked away, but Usagi's plead got the best of him. He sighed and
>said, "Fine, but I'll have to go with you,"
>Usagi beamed at him, which caused him not regret what he had just done,
>"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Usagi thanked him. (No, duh)
Crow: <Chris Griffin> Fourth Wall! You're BREAKING the fourth
WALL!!!
Tom: So which of Usagi's ideas is worse... pissing off God or letting
Satan out of hell? You be the judge!
>Duo grinned, "No prob," 'I guess,' he thought. He was grinning at her
>when he snapped his head up. His smile grew even larger, "Wu-man
>is here!"
Crow: <Duo as Animal> WU-MAN! WU-MAN! WU-MAN!
>Usagi felt it to. The man named Wufei has come to Hell. His aura was
>cold, yet full of pride.
>~EARTH~
>Mamoru sat there on his couch, not thinking of anything but his Usako.
Tom: <Mamoru> The cash settlement from the truck company
has me set for life! Your brave sacrifice was not in vain, Usako!
>No. Not his anymore, not after what he had done. Don't get hi wrong
>or anything, He loves her very much, it's just that he has needs as
>well, manly needs. (Cough, cough)
Crow: <Mamoru> One today, a different one tomorrow...
Joel: Yep, cheating is still hip.
>He closed his eyes and leaned his into the soft couch.
Tom: The vibrator buzzed at full power.
>There was pain in his heart, wanting her to come back to him like the
>many times she did. He bit his lower lip and opened his eyes staring
>at the ceiling, he could feel that he was dying from love lost.
>'Usako...' he thought.
Crow: Meanwhile, the red-haired girl finally plunged Mamoru's
toilet free.
>~ENDLESS SKY OF BLUE~
>Ami floated on her back in an endless sky of blue with clouds in the
>distance.
Joel: <Ami> Dammit... *baptism*! I knew I forgot to do something
yesterday....
>She was dressed in her senshi fuku. The soft wind hummed in her ear
>like soft music.
Joel: <Ami, singing> Care-a-lot... is a place we all can go....
>"Ami!" a familiar voice greeted her ears.
>"Huh..." Ami opened her eyes slowly. When her eyes were fully open
>she seemed to have floated to an upright position.
>Then a blond haired teenager came into her view, "Hey there!"
Tom: <Ami> Zack Morris?
>"Minako?" Ami questioned.
>The girl, Minako, smiled and replied, "Hai!"
>"Where are we?" Ami asked as her eyes turned from dazed to concern.
>"We're at the nonexistence realm," answered a brunette.
Joel: <Minako> Everybody do the Limbo!
Crow: <Brunette> Please note the emergency exits at the beginning and
end of Eternity.
>"Makoto?" Ami said in surprise.
>"Not only her," said the raven-haired teenager.
>"Rei..." Ami said in a mere whisper, but then questioned, "What exactly
>is the nonexistence realm?"
Tom: <Rei> We're the waitstaff for the Restaurant at the End of the
Universe.
Joel: <Ami> That's ludicrous.
Tom: <Rei> Fine, then YOU explain the Improbability Drive.
Joel: <Ami> Uhh... well...
>Makoto sighed and explained, "Well it's exactly what it's called. We
>don't exist anymore, instead we just watch the people who do exist
>or talk."
>Ami eyes narrowed in determination, "Let's watch Usagi."
>Rei nodded, "That's what we've been doing."
Crow: <Rei> It's not like we get cable or anything.
>"Usagi went to Hell," Minako said sadly.
>Ami nodded as a screen appeared out of thin air seeing Usagi with
>Shinigami walking towards the Hell Gate.
Joel: <Ami> DON'T GO INTO THE HELL GATE, USAGI!!!
>~HELL~
>Usagi walked beside Duo to the big dark red gate. Usagi licked her
>parched lips when the gates opened to reveal a boy with slick black
>hair tied into a tight ponytail.
Crow: <Usagi> Frankie Santana!? Oh god, I really AM in hell!
Joel: She's in hell and the only thing parched are her LIPS?
>"Wu-man!" Duo shouted with glee as he ran towards Wufei.
>"Maxwell! It's Wufei NOT Wu-man," the Chinese said in anger.
>Duo pouted cutely, "Well, I'm Shinigami NOT Duo," he imitated
>Wufei perfectly.
Tom: <Admiral Stockdale> Who am I? Why am I here?
>Usagi giggled, but then stopped when the guys were glaring at her. She
>inhaled and forced herself to put a straight face on. Wufei narrowed
>his eyes at Duo. Duo just stared. The so called staring contest lasted
>about ten seconds when Shinigami turns around and walked towards
>Usagi saying,
Joel: <Duo> OK, which one of us blinked first? Choose wisely....
>"Trowa you shall see to it that our friend WUFEI get aquatinted with
>Hell." With that said Duo took Usagi's hand in a gentlemanly matter
>and led her to Hell Gate.
Tom: Situated on forty beautiful acres of ash and next to Lake
Brimstone, HELL GATE is your housing community of the future!
>"And where are YOU going?" a girl with green eyes asked. She was
>leaning on the wall with her arms crossed over her chest.
>Duo stopped in mid track and faced her, then answered with a grin,
>"Well, Soi, I'm going to earth."
Crow: <Duo> I'm going to put the fear of RICHARD into that little
Mexican girl!
>Soi frowned and said, "We need you here."
>Duo rolled his eyes and replied simply, "Heero will replace me."
Joel: And then he'll balance and rotate Duo before giving him a forty-five
point inspection.
>Heero stared at Shinigami and nodded. Duo gave him a grin, and then
>took Usagi's hand again. Duo ran through the gate with Usagi trailing
>behind.
>Soi eyes narrowed and thought, 'What's so special about that girl that
>caused Shinigami to allow her to go back to the living world and have
>him personally protect her?'
Joel: <singing> Cause she's got... personality!
Crow: Maybe she has pictures of naked Duo with a Totoro?
>~HEAVEN~
>Miaka was pacing around in her room, bored, sad and worried for
>her sister.
Joel: Which one? She has, like, twenty.
>"She shouldn't have been so angry," Hitomi said worriedly for the tenth
>time from Miaka's bed. Sakura and Tomoyo nodded in agreement.
Tom: Tonight, Hitomi... tomorrow night, Sakura sleeps with Miaka...
>"Do you think father will forgive her?" Tomoyo asked.
>Sakura shook her head in dismay, "Most likely not, Usagi wouldn't
>even admit God as our father."
Crow: <Usagi as Harrison Ford> NO TICKET.
>Miaka stopped pacing and said with a frown, "But... she's right. Relena
>is... spoiled."
>The girls nodded as Quatre, Hotohori and Allen came in the room.
Tom: This "Friends" spin-off needs some work.
>"We received news that Usagi-hime was not so easily sucked in by
>Shinigami's boyish charms," Allen said.
>Hitomi blinked, "She hasn't?"
>Hotohori shook his head and asked, "Why?"
>Miaka answered that question with a bright smile, "Because most
>girls do."
Joel: ....
Crow: I'm sure on some distant planet that explanation makes perfect
sense....
Tom: Rrrrrright... the fact that Duo is holding her best friend hostage
and is completely untrustworthy has NOTHING to do with it.
>Quatre nodded while saying, "Usagi-hime befriended Shinigami and is
>now on earth."
>The girls nodded in disbelief that someone, mainly a girl like Usagi, has
>befriended him so fast.
>Allen then spoke, "We have no idea how they became friends so fast,
>but that is how the stars are written."
Crow: <Hitomi> Hey, that's my gig!
>Miaka's face straightened and said seriously, "The planets and stars tell
>all. They tell nothing, but the truth. They are the ones that pick the true
>Cosmos ruler, not God or Shinigami."
Joel: So God is less powerful than the sparkly little lights He put in the
firmament on the fourth day?
Tom: No, we're still at Richard.
Joel: Oh, yeah.
>Quartre nodded, "So whatever happens, the Cosmos system chooses its
>ruler. The only way to get by that is to merge the star seeds by hand."
>Hitomi swallowed and prayed to the Cosmos system, "Please, don't let
>the ruler be Relena."
Crow: <KOS-MOS> IT IS EXPEDIENT THAT I RULE. THIS
WOULD BE 1000% MORE OPTIMUM THAN RICHARD AT
PRESENT.
>~QUEEN SELENITY'S PALACE~
>The Queen sat on her throne and whispered to her self, "The planets
>and stars are the true rulers of the Cosmos system, and yet they need
>somebody to represent them."
Crow: People in frilly, color-coded outfits....
>She closed her eyes to think, 'Even I can't help you, my daughter. If you
>don't want Relena to succeed, then you must complete a very difficult
>task.'
Tom: <Serenity> You need to go to Super Sailor Moon as you summon
Suzaku and only then can you become super Saiyan and find the Fire
Flower AND the Tanooki Suit!
>~A MANSION ON EARTH~
>Hotaru sat on her bed panting lightly.
Tom: Her master already told her to lay down, beg and fetch the stick....
Crow: Okay, let go now, girl! L-Let go!
>She just had a dream about Sailor Galaxia trying to tell her that the
>planets are lining up for a special occasion and
Tom: Tickets were $35 each through Ticketmaster.
>that Hotaru needed to keep herself out of reach from one
>of the God's daughters before that occasion or Heaven and Hell would
>go into war...
Joel: <Galaxia> I found someone to hide you with... a scientist by the
name of Tomoe...
Crow: <Hotaru> D'oh!
>That was all Hotaru got because a ki ball hit Galaxia dead center,
>bringing the former Light of Hope (In my story Usagi's star seed is now
>the light of hope, considering that she was the one who destroyed Chaos)
>back to life. But before the star seed could fly away a hand grabbed it.
Tom: Wall Masters from Zelda are really moving up in the world....
Crow: <shudders>
>"The enemy is strong,' Hotaru thought.
>~NONEXISTENCE REALM~
Tom: <Hotaru> All these unbaptized babies...
Crow: <Mina> Yeah, you can't swing a dead Artemis around
without hitting one or three.
>The Golden Senshi floated down and landed up right. Her eyes shot
>open, looking at the inner senshi, "So this is the nonexistence
>realm," she stated.
>The inner nodded as Jupiter said, "Nice of you to drop in."
>Galaxia smiled slightly, "I didn't get a chance to finish telling Saturn
>my warning."
>"What was the rest of it?" Mars asked.
Joel: <Galaxia> Duck.
>She licked her lips and replied, "Hotaru must not let the enemy get her
>star seed before the planets line up or Relena will become the Queen
>of the Stars. If the planets and stars agree with it then they'll accept it."
>"What if they don't accept it?" Mercury asked.
Tom: <Galaxia> Much like the UN, they'll be ignored.
>Galaxia replied, "Then Heaven and Hell will have to go into war with
>the Cosmos system, even if Relena merge the star seeds by hand. Such
>a fight will be so awful that the people that live on the planets will get
>affected too. The people won't know which side to take, the one's that
>are neutral will probably get killed anyway by the acts of the others."
Crow: About time Switzerland bought it.
Tom: <Galaxia> We tried to get the Organians involved but they're too
busy with the Klingon/Tribble peace accord.
>Venus gasped in horror.
>Galaxia nodded, "I know... it's horrible."
Joel: <Galaxia> I should've had that mole removed before I died. Now
it'll be my eternal mistake.
>I KNOW THAT THIS CHAPTER IS NOT AS LONG AS THE FIRST
>CHAPTER, BUT THAT'S AS MUCH AS I CAN GIVE YOU RIGHT
>NOW.
Crow: Relena finally picked a GOOD target.
Joel: <author> I've written all I stands and I can't stands no more!
>VOTE FOR WHOM YOU WANT USAGI TO BE WITH EVEN
>THOUGH IT SEEMS LIKE DUO IS GOING TO GET THE GIRL,
>BUT VOTES CAN GET YOU ALMOST ANYWHERE!
Crow: Red-haired girl!
Tom: Richard!
Joel: Take the box!
>PLEASE R/R!
>TENSHI CAT
(Joel picks up Tom and follows Crow out of the theater)
* * *
SATELLITE OF LOVE
"Now here's something we hope you'll really like!" Joel exclaimed as
Cambot abruptly faded to black and slow piano music began to play....
Tom: <VO> This Thursday on NBC....
>When she was in front of the apartment's door she started to reach for
>the knob when, all of a sudden, Mamoru opened the door while kissing
>a red headed woman.
>Usagi gasped as the basket fell on to the ground. The contents flew out
>onto the floor.
Tom: <VO> A betrayal leads to tragedy....
>She ran onto the street, not realizing the fact that a truck was heading
>for her way. Mamoru stopped at the sidewalk and was about to shout
>STOP, but it was too late the truck slammed into her, instantly killing
>her.
Tom: <VO> And tragedy leads to... high school.
>She was walking towards Heaven High until, as usual, she knocked into
>someone, "Sorry, I wasn't watching," she apologized.
>
>"No it's ok," The male voice replied. Usagi looked up just to look into
>sapphire eyes, "My name is Quartre,"
>
>She smiled, "Usagi,"
Tom: <VO> But all is not as it seems in Heaven...
>"Crybaby," teased a mocking voice of Relena.
>Usagi stopped as she shut her eyes tightly trying to keep the tears in.
>"You're weak," Relena insulted again.
Tom: <VO> And tempers soon flare out of control...
>Usagi snapped, "YOU BITCH!!!" she screamed as she slapped Relena
>across the face. Everyone gasped. Relena was in shock. She held the
>side of her face with her hand.
Tom: <VO> While Heaven leads to Hell....
>YOU are not responsible in your daughters. It's always Relena! You
>even used you daughters to give Relena the title of soon to be ruler of
>the universe. WHAT KIND OF PARENT ARE YOU?!?!?!"
>"SHUT UP!!!!!" God yelled, everyone was in total shock from this girl's
>whole talk. "YOU HAVE DISPLAYED YOUR IGNORANCE! FOR
>YOUR PUNISHMENT YOU'LL GO TO HELL!"
Tom: <VO> And hatred to love...
>"I've never had so much fun for at least a century now," Duo whispered
>into her ear. Usagi shivered.
>Her hands were placed on his bare chest. The touch constantly caused
>static between them,
Tom: <VO> What will happen next? Find out this Thursday... on 'DUO'!
Cambot faded back up as Joel grinned into the camera. "Pretty neat,
huh?
Suddenly, alarms wailed and multicolored lights flashed.
"Oops, we've got FANFIC SIGN!!" Joel cried out as he rushed back
into the theater....
TO BE CONTINUED IN 'THE LIGHT OF MY HOPES' PT. 3....
Hiya! I hope you're enjoying this MSTing so far! As with my other
multiple part MSTings, there's lots more fun and weirdness to come, so
don't skip it or you'll only be missing out on some great riffing and skits. ;)