Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Ageku... ❯ Sayonara... ( Chapter 2 )

Damn! Why is it all i seem to be able to write is these evil anime POVs? Okay, i know i've been watching the anime, but that's just pathetic! Still, it's not my fault that the older brothers in these anime tend to have a best male friend that makes yaoi far too tempting to leave alone.

This is a companion POV to Her, where Keisuke talks about Tetsuya and how he knows they can never be together because of Yui. In this one, Tetsuya talks about Keisuke… Yeah… Therefore, the main pairing is, again, Tets+Kei and also Tets+Yui. There will be mentions of Tama/Taka+Miaka and Chiri+Tas.

Why can't i just make life easier for myself and follow Sara Jaye (who reviewed Her) and her pairings? Hmph. Soi+Yui sounds like a nice solution, ne? Damn OVA! Both of them make that too hard to not follow.

audi
thegoddess@goddess.com

Sayonara…

I would start this with the infamous 'once upon a time', but those stories always have happy endings, and this one doesn't. Truly, no book ever does. Shijin Tenchi Sho * changed all of our lives, it might have given Miaka and Tamahome their happy ending, but not me, not really. No books can give me the ending that I desire. The fate that I chose to ignore. Not ignore, only pretend it doesn't exist. When I can do that, I live so much easier. Until I look at you.

We've always been friends, since we were put in the same class. Somehow the two of us found each other. I think I knew from that moment I loved you. It might have been later - like when 'normal' boys are supposed to be fantasizing about girls, and I only fantasized about you. So much for normality. I stayed with you, anyway. Longing to touch you, to hold you but never allowing myself to cross over the little invisible barrier that lied around you.

There's no way you're like I am. What with all those magazines you used to read - and still do, I saw one last time I went to your flat. Those women were attractive, but not as much as you. I'm serious.

And it's not as if two males can't live happily ever after, either. Chichiri and Tasuki sure have managed it. Both times the book was reopened there they were, together. The survivors of the Suzaku Shichi Seishi **. There's no doubt in my mind that they're an item, 'else how can they remain so happy? Besides, Taka *** and Miaka agree, and they know them better than anyone else.

Why do I have to be so unlucky?

I've fallen utterly and completely for one that I can't have. It seems that all you care about is that book, Chinese legends and the safety of your sister. It's really not fair. I think the one thing I ever wanted was you. You, Keisuke.

But I'm not being fair to Yui, am I? Sure, I like her well enough. She's there to keep me sane. I think, deep in her heart, she knows that nothing can commence between us. That we're together so we don't kill ourselves. I don't think she knows about you, but I think she knows that there's someone else that I love. We're both tearing up inside, and we need each other for stability. When she finds someone to give her the stability she needs for the rest of her life, I'll let her go. She knows that and I think she'd do the same. But since I can never have you, it'll be her that goes off. I've always wished it was you that I was kissing, not her. It's not my fault I prefer men, it's not my fault I prefer you.

The day will never come, I'll never be able to tell you. Fear of rejection, I guess. Not that you'd ever do anything to intentionally hurt me. I just… It can never be, it's a dream I have and a fantasy I wish to exist, but I know that it can never happen. So, my love, I say 'good-bye', not to my feelings, because I can never part with those, but to what might have existed between us. What might have happened if things went a bit differently. What we might have been together. I say, 'good-bye'.

* The Universe of the Four Gods... that book that's central to the plot. The one that they open and things happen...
** Suzaku Seven. Hmm... Tama, Hoto, Nuri, Tas, Mits, Chiri, and Chiriko.
*** Tamahome, you know... that attractive guy with blue hair and the Ogre kanji...