Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Ageku... ❯ Her. ( Chapter 1 )

Another POV… Hmph, seems all i can write currently are these. Whatever. i was watching the Eikoden series of Fushigi Yûgi (i believe that's OVA 2, i know it's after the first OVA, the one where Taka comes and they go back and Nakago is all… yeah).

ANYWAY. Being the yaoi freak i am, i looked at Keisuke and felt sorry for him. i mean, Yui kind of steals Tetsuya from him. So… POV is from Keisuke wondering about what his life could have been. Tetsuya+Keisuke… Tetsuya+Yui, mentions of Taka(that would be Tamahome, for non-OVA viewers)+Miaka.

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thegoddess@goddess.com

Her.

I used to dream about you, do you know that? In those dreams you'd hold me and protect me. I'd be yours, only yours. Day and night, you were always in my thoughts. You still are. Every time I close my eyes, I see you. It's interesting, to think of what might have been. What we might have been together. Well, theoretically, we have been together since we were young. That's not the type of 'together' I mean though.

I should have been able to see it sooner. Iie. I did see it. From the beginning, I knew that it could never be as I wanted, that I was living in some kind of fantasy world. Is what I want so wrong? Am I being punished because I desire something that I know I can never have?

They're only dreams.

Right, and Shijin Tenchi Sho * is only a book.

Damned book. It's all the bloody book's fault that you met her in the first place. It could have been just you and me, I could have told you what I felt. It could have worked. It could have. Well, until she came and ruined everything. Who would have thought that my imouto's** friend would cause me this much grief? She was always a nice girl… I guess. Why'd you have to think so, too? Why couldn't you have treated her indifferently. Indifferently, just like every other girl you've met? But no. you had to fall for her. She had to ruin everything!! Who am I kidding anyway?

Maybe it's better this way? Maybe it's better that I live it off in silence. To watch you and her start off together. To watch you gaze at each other like I've always dreamed of you gazing at me. You never would have, though. Why should I have ruined you're life as well as mine? I can never be truly happy - but at least you still talk to me. 'Don't care what it is you're talking to me about, just to hear your voice calling out to me. Just to see your silly smile and… If I can never have you, never be yours, is this not the next best thing?

How often have I wanted to tell you the true reason I feel like this? You look at me and tell me it'll all be okay. That you've found the one you've been dreaming of , that I'll find the woman of my dreams, too, and that Miaka has Taka*** and… But it's not okay!! The one in my dreams is not a woman, but you. I know you don't realize it.

I want you, damnit! Yeah, imouto is happy, which is great, it really is. But, is it so much to ask for me to be happy as well? It's maddening to watch both my sister and my best friend be content and know that that best friend can never be more than just that. To know that I can never know what could have happened, what it could have been like. To know that I will never feel your arms around me or your lips on mine. Why can't I be her? She has everything I've ever wanted! I claimed you first. I did! Me! Why'd she have to take you! Why couldn't I have been faster to tell you? Who decided that she would get everything and I would get nothing? And why?

* The Universe of the Four Gods, you know, that book that's kind of central to the plot?
** Little sister
***Tamahome's, uh, post series name? It's the name he goes by when he's reborn in modern-day Tokyo.