Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Aishiteru...Zutto ❯ Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi. And I don't think I ever will.

Chapter 4/?

Rating: PG15

//Chichiri's thoughts//

*Tasuki's thoughts*

Italics mean a dream or vision

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Chichiri, like usual, was up before dawn. He noticed immediately however, that something was most definitely not usual about this particular morning. He wasn't in his own bed. There was nothing odd about that, he'd woken many mornings either without a bed, or in a rented one at an inn. No, what was wrong was that the actual owner of the bed was missing. The warmth that should have been by his side was absent. //Did Tasuki sleep on the floor after all?//

He dismissed that theory after figuring out that the room was quiet. //I don't hear any snoring, so where is he?//

Getting to his knees, Chichiri peered over the edge of the bed, confirming the fact that Tasuki wasn't in his room, since there weren't any blankets on the floor, and the other pillow was still next to his own. //In all the time I've known him, he's never been up this early. It's usually a fight just to get Tasuki up after ten, before dawn would be out of the question.//

Chichiri slipped out of bed, tossing the sheets aside. He glanced at the tangled bedclothes, that lay in a crumpled heap in the middle of the mattress. //Hmm…must have had a restless night, it almost looks like Tasuki really did spend the night here.//

His eye widened as remnants of last night's dream came back to him. The monk groaned in annoyance as his pants tightened, an occurrence that was happening much too often as of late. //I'm a monk. This shouldn't be happening. I should be able to control myself.// There was, of course, his inner voice, who had a much different opinion. //Come on, you serve Suzaku, the God of Love for crying out loud. I'm sure celibacy wasn't part of the deal. And besides, what's wrong with thinking about Tasuki? He's beautiful, not someone easily ignored. Just give in already, stop fighting, you're just making this harder on yourself.//

Sighing in defeat, Chichiri flopped back onto the bed, instantly regretting the move as his erection rubbed across the tight confines of his pants. He gasped, shifting to try and make himself more comfortable. It didn't work. Willpower alone was obviously not going to work this time. //It probably isn't helping that I had Tasuki clinging to me yesterday. I can still feel him in my arms.//

He shifted again, then shaking his head, sent a silent prayer that Tasuki wouldn't decide to barge in anytime soon. He moved a hand to tentatively stroke the cloth covered bulge, biting back a moan at the first touch. Chichiri pulled his pants halfway down his hips, just enough to fully expose himself, not bothering to get rid of them completely. He closed his hand around his aching shaft, pumping it roughly a few times, before swiping his thumb through the pre-cum collected at the head. He worked slowly down his length, fist tightening every so often.

Chichiri wanted nothing more then for the hand closed around him to be Tasuki's. With the images left over from his dream, he let his imagination take over, closing his eye. He whimpered as his hand sped up on his cock, his mind effortlessly changing his own hand into Tasuki's. It was easy for Chichiri to believe that it was slightly longer, slimmer fingers stroking him, calluses from holding a tessen too often rubbing his sensitive flesh.

His other hand snaked up to his still bare chest, tracing nonsensical patterns on his abdomen on the way, sending small shivers running down his spine. Gasping, he circled a nipple, then grabbed the hardened nub and pinched slightly. The sharp burst of almost pain made the monk's back arch, giving a small cry. His hips jerked, thrusting his member through the tight tunnel his fist had become.

He turned his face to the side, biting down hard onto the pillow, trying to avoid making any more noise. Chichiri spread his legs wide, allowing his fingers access to gently massage his tightly drawn balls, moving further until he reached his entrance.

His breath's were coming in short gasps now, face flushed. His hand moved harder and faster on his arousal. He was close to the edge, needing only a little more to push him off. A single finger pushed into his opening, stroking across the tender tissues. That was all he needed to send him over the edge. He came with a scream, the sound muffled by the pillow still clamped between his teeth. His seed spilled over his hand, some of the warm fluid splashing onto the sheets.

Chichiri lay there panting, basking in the small tremors of residual pleasure that coursed through his body. He felt sort of guilty about what he'd just done. Touching himself while in his best friend's room, and while thinking about the man no less.

He sat up slowly, grimacing at the slightly sticky mess that covered both him and the sheets. Writing the sheets off as ruined anyways, he wiped himself clean with them. Tugging his pants back up, he moved to the pile of belongings he'd left by the bed the night before. Pulling the rest of his clothes on quickly he contemplated the mask momentarily before putting it on. //I wouldn't be able to make it through the day around Tasuki without it.//

Deciding that it was about time he found the elusive bandit leader, Chichiri reached out for his chi. Easily following the same route Tasuki had gone earlier, he soon found himself nearing the clearing. Although he was almost positive that he now knew where Tasuki was, Chichiri focused on him one last time. What he felt made him jerk to a stop, sent him stumbling, barely managing to catch himself before he fell. Tasuki was surrounded by something, a cold, dangerous presence that left him feeling sort of sick. He concentrated again, but there was no longer anything there, it was almost like he'd imagined the entire thing.

Biting his lip he continued at a quicker pace, still feeling uneasy. He made his way quietly into the clearing, not announcing himself just in case. But there was nothing wrong with the scene he was met with, in fact, it was comfortingly familiar. Tasuki lay propped up against a tree, fast asleep. He was snoring, of course, not loudly though, but it was still audible from his position.

Seeing that Tasuki was safe set the monk's nerves at ease. Not wanting to disturb Tasuki, since it wasn't even dawn yet, Chichiri sat on one of the stone seats by the pond. He looked into the small pool. The water was as crystal clear as he remembered, easy to see into. He frowned when he noticed something. //There aren't any fish in here. I know it's been a while since I was last here, but I'm almost positive that they were here before. That's why I could never fish the way I wanted to on Mt. Leikaku, because I'd be sure to catch something.//

He made a mental note to ask Tasuki about that later. Inevitably his gaze strayed to the sleeping bandit. Chichiri got up and made his way silently to Tasuki, sitting down a mere few feet away, within reaching distance. He didn't know how long he sat there studying the younger seishi's features. It had to have been an hour or so, because the sun was starting to rise now. Tasuki's flaming hair looked brilliant in the lighting, the first rays of sunlight catching the golden highlights. //I wonder if his hair is as soft and silky as it looks?//

He caught himself just before his fingers made contact with the hair in question. He glared at his traitorous hand, clasping them in his lap to prevent a repeat offence. //This isn't good. My being here is going to end in disaster, I just know it. It's getting way too hard for me to keep my feelings to myself. Not to mention keeping my hands to myself. Tasuki's both the only reason I still wear the mask, and the reason that I want to take it off. It was because of his help and support that I got over the belief that my scar was hideous, and needed to be covered. I don't care if people see the scar now. Especially at the stronghold, since there are a couple of guys here that are scarred even worse, and besides, I know it doesn't bother Tasuki to see my real face. On the other hand, the mask is the only thing left that prevents Tasuki from reading the emotions that would show clearly on my face…I don't want to, but I think I'm going to have to leave again. As soon as possible. I can't risk having Tasuki find out yet.//

Chichiri was drawn out of his thoughts by a small groan. Tasuki was waking up. Without opening his eyes he stretched, his back arching like a cat being pet. Yawning, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, his shirt riding up a bit, giving Chichiri a brief glimpse of rock hard stomach, causing a bolt of arousal to shoot to Chichiri's groin.

Half hard already, the glimpse of skin did nothing to help slake his lust for the red head. //Not now! Geez, I guess I'm lucky my hands are already covering my lap. I've got to change the direction these thoughts are going.//

"Tasuki? What exactly are you doing sleeping outside under a tree when you could have been in a bed, no da?" //That's a great way to think. Great, now I'm thinking about Tasuki in bed.//

Tasuki blinked sleepily. *Umm…oh boy…it's too early ta think.* "I, ah, jus' needed some time ta think Chiri. I didn' mean ta fall asleep. I actually do this a lot, thinkin' out here, I mean, not the sleepin' part."

"What were you thinking about Tasuki, no da?"

Tasuki froze mentally. *Dammit! I can't flat out lie ta Chiri.* "I've been thinkin' 'bout Kouji an' all the others. I miss them so much Chiri."

"I know Tasuki. So do I. You don't have to worry, one day all of us will be reunited again."

"Yea, I get that, I do. It's jus', not ta sound morbid or anythin' but…I've been wonderin' how long it'll be 'fore we're all together again." His voice was soft, subdued.

"When fate decides it Tasuki. Only when fate determines that our time here is over."

*Fate. Is fate ever goin' ta give me a damn chance ta be with Chiri, or is it goin' ta fuck me over, curse me ta be alone forever?*

Tasuki's golden eyes looked so sad and strangely defeated to Chichiri. To try and distract him from whatever unhappy thoughts he was having, the monk asked the first question that popped into his mind. "Ne, Tasuki? Where'd all the fish go? Why aren't there any fish in the pond anymore, no da?"

Lying outright to Chichiri, Tasuki replied with, "Ano…they must'a all died or sumthin'."

*That's the best ya could come up with? They died! Ugh…I'm not awake enough ta get imaginative. I know they didn't fuckin' die. I was hoping Chiri would come back, an' I know he likes ta spend time in the mornin' fishing in places where he won't catch anything. So I took them outta there and chucked 'em in the river.*

Before Chichiri had a chance to ask him anymore questions, Tasuki suddenly turned to him asked one of the questions Chichiri's been dreading since he first got back. "How long are ya goin' stay fer anyways? Ya never did tell me."

The monk decided he should just be honest with Tasuki. "I'll be leaving again tomorrow morning, no da."

Tasuki's face fell. *What'd I do this time. He jus' got here, and he already wants ta leave. Does he wanna get away from me 'cause he doesn't think we're all that close anymore.*

Chichiri saw the crestfallen expression on Tasuki's face, and his heart and conscience tugged guiltily at him. He opened his mouth, prepared to say something, but snapped his jaw shut right away. //What are you supposed to say to him now? Apologize for coming back into his life, only to end up running out again.//

Just then a brown haired bandit ran into the clearing, calling out, "Genrou!" He skidded to a halt in front of them. "There you are. Damn, I think this is the first time I've seen you outta bed before lunch." It was then that he took notice of Chichiri. "Oops…guess I don't have any manners. Heh. You've got to be Chichiri, right?" Without waiting for an answer he ploughed on with a slight shake of his head and a wave of his hand. "Of course your Chichiri. Even I can't manage to convince Genrou to get out of bed. Begging and bribery don't even work. It's better to just stay in bed, what with the way he is and everything. Oh yeah. I'm Li by the way, Genrou's second in command." Grasping one of Chichiri's hands in both of his, he shook it enthusiastically, a huge grin on his face, corners of his eyes crinkling. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Genrou's told me so much abou-"

The babbling bandit was cut off abruptly by the hand that pressed against his mouth. Chuckling, the sounds coming out nervously, Tasuki said, "Breathe, Li, breathe. Now, why are ya lookin' fer me?"

When Li's response was muffled and not at all discernable, Tasuki reluctantly removed his hand, wary of what the other man would say. Looking huffy and more then a little annoyed, green eyes snapping in anger, Li ground out, "I SAID, there's some business that we need to take care of." Knowing the older man was going to whine and complain, he added, "Now!" in a tone that brooked no argument.

Seething on the inside, Tasuki admitted, at least to himself, that Li was definitely the take charge, 'I don't take any shit', kind of guy that would be a great boss one day. Almost petulantly he thought, *He shouldn't be able ta order ME around though.*

Seeing as Tasuki still wasn't moving, Li growling in irritation, grabbed Tasuki's sleeve and started to drag him away. Tasuki blinked in surprise, one eyebrow raised, grunting and looking pointedly at the taller man's hand, giving a small tug. His second in command refused to relinquish his grip however, shrugging at the withering look Tasuki gave him. Realizing that this was just the distraction he needed to get away from Chichiri for a while, Tasuki decided to fry Li's ass with the tessen later. Even as he went willingly, Li still didn't let him go. Tasuki rolled his eyes at the sheer determination Li was showing, but he allowed himself to be led away.

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After Li had left with Tasuki in tow, Chichiri had spent the rest of the day in that same clearing, hardly moving, in a state of numb disbelief and despair. He was battling with himself over what Li had meant by what he had said. //His words could have been completely innocent. They probably weren't meant to imply anything. But why would he need to convince Tasuki to get up. Okay, he is the second in command, I don't know, maybe it's one of the things Tasuki has him do. And what did he mean by it's better to just stay in bed. He'd better have been talking about his own bed.// He slapped himself mentally. //Stop being so paranoid. Tasuki would have told me if he and Li were together. Wouldn't he? Besides, it's not really any of my business even if they are sleeping together.//

His thoughts a chaotic mess, Chichiri knelt to try and meditate. Relaxing his tense muscles, he slowed his breathing, eye drifting shut. He reached for the prayer beads hanging around his neck. As his hand closed around them, images started to flash across his mind

Pictures of Tasuki are all that he is able to see. Nothing about where the bandit is is visible. Not that it would have mattered. It was Tasuki himself that drew all of Chichiri's attention. He was obviously unconscious, laying there, limbs sprawled haphazardly. He was bleeding, bruised, and broken. Although unconscious, in the background Chichiri can hear Tasuki. He cringed as the sound of Tasuki's pain filled screams rent the air, as well as desperate pleas. Chichiri couldn't make out the words, though he could tell Tasuki was terrified, and that the screams were most likely the result of him being tortured.

The scene shifted then, and what he saw next scared him the most. Tasuki was crying. His bruised face was tearstained, tears still flowing freely down his face. His amber eyes were glittering, dark lashes shimmering with tears. Nothing but the loss of the other seishi and Kouji had made him cry before. Chichiri knew instinctually, that it's not him that Tasuki is crying for however, it's something else altogether.

All through this, Chichiri could feel the same thing as when he'd reached for Tasuki's chi on the trail. That same cold, evil presence, although much worse then when he'd first felt it.

He released the beads quickly. His entire body was shaking uncontrollably, tears of his own streaming down his face. "What…what was that? Was that real? An actual vision?"

He shuddered, resisting the urge to close his eye, dreading the return of any of those images. "That really was real, wasn't it? I can't leave Tasuki here alone, no way. Whatever it was that I've felt, is concentrating on Tasuki."

Chichiri knew that if there was to be a battle, the other bandits would only be killed. //I have to take Tasuki with me when I go. No matter how hard it's going to be on me.//

TBC

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Okay, it's official, Chichiri has become a freaking hentai in my fic.

--Glares at the outline-- Bah, useless thing! Why didn't you warn me this was going to happen!? I so didn't plan on having Chichiri's little morning *cough* exercise, it just kinda slipped in there. So much for me using an outline to write, I've already veered away from it. Oh well.

One more thing. I have a question to ask everyone. Who would you like to confess their feelings first. Technically, I think it could go either way and still fit into the plot. I've figured out that'll happen in chapter 6, along with a lemon, but the version I post here won't have the lemon, since I don't want the fic to be taken down again. The lemon version will be posted in several places, including my website and a few Fushigi Yuugi yaoi ML's. Getting off topic now. Which would you prefer, Tasuki or Chichiri confessing. You can either e-mail me with your suggestion, or include it in your review (hint hint) ^__^