Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Akeru Sasoi ~ Empty Temptation ❯ Strange Revelations ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3: Strange Revelations
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They followed the two young half demons through the dense vegetation, Relicta hovering slightly over the ground, Chichiri, Tasuki, and Kouji half-running to keep up.

Soon they reached a convenient, well-worn side path, and the pace slowed. Tasuki took this time to approach the demoness.

"Hey, uh, Relicta?"

She turned an inquisitive eye on him. "Yes?"

"Well, I was just wond'rin'... those kids. How come, when they went lookin' for this tree ya want us ta look at, they didn't pop in and out like you seem ta do so well?"

Kouji and Chichiri joined them, obviously interested in the answer as well. Relicta looked surprised.

"I didn't know you were so observant, flame-boy." she muttered.

Tasuki looked indignant, but Chichiri put a restraining hand on his shoulder, and he cooled down. "Just answer the question, would ya?"

She smiled. "Certainly. Both of them have one human parent, therefore they are only half demon, and unable to pop in and out at will. Ted's parents are the Demoness Metria, whom you've already met, and Veleno, a human who she met in an earlier adventure. Monica's are the Prince Demon Vore, D. Vore, and Princess Nada Naga of the Naga folk." the demoness stopped walking. "And here we are now. This is a tangle tree, one of the most dangerous trees of Xanth."

Tasuki and the others eyed the strange tree warily. Instead of leaves, the tangle tree had tentacles. The fanged Seishi took a step forward.

"I don't see what so danger-OUS!" his voice broke as a tentacle grabbed a firm hold on his ankle, hauling Tasuki into the air. Another tentacle grabbed his right arm, which had been reaching for his tessen.

"Genrou!" Kouji yelled, rushing forward and barely catching his friend's left arm. He pulled, but it was painfully obvious the tentacle was stronger than the bandit. That's when Tasuki and Kouji noticed the huge, gaping mouth with razor-sharp teeth situated on the trunk of the tree. They both looked horror-stricken.

Chichiri turned to the demoness, who was watching the two bandits fervently.

"You planned this, didn't you, no da?"

She turned to him. "Now why would you say a thing like that? Surely you don't think I would voluntarily let both flame-boy and bandit-boy get caught in the grips of a flesh-eating plant, do you?" she smirked. "Don't worry so much. This is just good, clean fun to me. I can't actually let any of you get seriously hurt. That would abort the mission."

"CHICHIRI!! A little HELP here!!" Tasuki called from his position of being suspended in the air. The monk nodded, concentrating. Suddenly the writhing tentacles of the tree froze, dropping both Tasuki and Kouji, the latter having been by yet another tentacle, to the ground.

"ITAI~!!" the fiery-haired Seishi yelled. Jumping up, he stalked toward the demoness. "You! What the BLEEP do ya think-" he paused. "Did I just say what I think I just said? That couldn't have been right. Let's see: BLEEP. Hey! It did it again! BLEEP. I can't say that, either! What the bleep's going on?!"

Relicta looked smug. "That's the Adult Conspiracy at work, flame-boy."

"What's the Adult Conspiracy?" Kouji, who seemed to find the fact that Tasuki couldn't cuss amusing, asked.

"The Adult Conspiracy to Keep Interesting Things from Children." the demoness explained. "No person can use the Words of Power in the presence of someone under 18, and also can't reveal the secrets of summoning the stork to a minor."

"'Summoning the stork'? Ya mean, having sex?" Tasuki asked, in the usual Tasuki fashion. He snickered.

"Yes. Since we are currently in the hearing range of the children, the Adult Conspiracy is invoked."

Ted and Monica ran up to Tasuki. "How was it?"

"I've never been grabbed by a tangle tree before!"

"He almost ATE you?! Cool!" they raved.

Tasuki frowned, revealing his fangs. "Bein' grabbed by a bleep tree and then almost gettin' eaten by it ain't as much fun as it looks, kid."

The two demon children winced at the harshness of the bad word. The grass around their feet wilted a bit as well.

"Slightly reminiscent of a harpy." Relicta muttered, before smirking once again. "Ok, you two, you've had your fun. Now we really need to get going, as to reach the With-A-Cookee by nightfall."

"It's about that name, no da..." Chichiri started. "Relicta-san, why exactly is the river called that?"

"Isn't it obvious? Many different varieties of cookies grow along the river's banks. They seem to flourish there."

Another collective sweatdrop ensued. "I shouldn't have asked, no daa..."

The demoness suddenly glanced around, looking thoughtful. "Yes, they'll need something to help them travel..." she muttered. "Let's see..."

Suddenly an idea occurred to her, and she turned to the group. "Wait here. I'll be right back." she popped off.

True to her word, two and a half moments later, Relicta returned, holding three wobbling sticks in her grasp. "Here. Take one." the three humans obediently did so.

And were once again surprised when the sticks lurched forward. It was all they could do just to stand in one place.

"What the-?" Kouji began.

The demoness smiled. "Oh, did I forget to warn you? Those are running sticks."

"Runnin' sticks?" Tasuki asked.

"A trio of walking sticks that grew near some bullrushes. Faster than the sticks, but not as fast as the rushes."

"Great. Another pun." the fanged Seishi muttered.

"Hey, I warned you. Xanth in a land full of puns. And since there's no such thing as a good pun, they're all bad ones. Get used to it." the demoness leaned down and scooped up the two demon children into her arms. "I'll carry these two, while you three use the running sticks. That way we can travel faster. Oh, and I'm surry Melody, Harmony, Rhythm, and Anomy are watching us via the Tapestry in case of any danger, but it would be wise not to push your luck. If you get chomped by a dragon before they can send help, it's not gonna do ya any good."

One and a half glances were exchanged between Tasuki, Chichiri, and Kouji, and it was unanimous: They decided not to ask, at the risk of another pun.

"Whatever," Tasuki muttered, his running stick helping him to keep pace with the hovering demoness. Chichiri and Kouji followed suit.

*****

In due course they reached a small clearing. Relicta called a stop, so the humans could rest and eat. As she set down Ted and Monica, Kouji looked around.

"What exactly are we s'possed to eat? Do ya have food with ya, or somethin'?" he asked.

"Oh, no." the demoness walked toward a tree. "You pick your own food."

"Pick, no da? As in fruit?"

"Yes, we have that, too." she agreed. "But what I meant was the pie trees."

"Pie trees? This isn't another bad pun, is it?" Tasuki asked her doubtfully. Relicta plucked something from the tree.

"I assure you, the pies are quite real." she turned, and, indeed, held a pie. Giving it a good look-over, she smiled. "I believe this one is shoe-fly pie. Here." and she handed it to Kouji. "It's much better than it sounds." she reassured him, catching his wary look.

He took a bite and nodded. "Not bad." he said, through a mouthful of pie.

Chichiri pulled his own pie off of a branch, smelled it, and took a bite. "Apple, no da." he concluded.

While Tasuki also grabbed a pie, eyeing it. "Looks like cherry ta me." he opened his mouth to take a bite.

Relicta's eyes go wide. "Don't eat that!" she yelled, slapping the pie from his hands. It landed a few feet away and exploded, covering the surprised fire Seishi in cherry juice.

"W-what...?"

"You gotta be more careful about what you eat, flame-boy. That wasn't a normal cherry pie, that was a cherry BOMB pie. Cherry bombs explode; so do the pies. Just be glad you didn't get a pineapple pie. Those're even more explosive than the cherries." she harvested another pie, handing it to the still stunned Tasuki, after pulling a rectangular shape from it's center. "Try this. It's a wall-nut pie. I already removed the wall."

Tasuki grimaced at the pun, but took the pie anyway.

"At least she didn't give ya a Peanut pie. Or, should I say, Pee-nut." Kouji remarked. Relicta smirked, breaking a greenberry pie in half, and giving one half to each child. They gobbled theirs up eagerly.

"You're learning, bandit-boy. Not bad."

Tasuki finished his pie. "Kouji, you're gettin' as bad as her. And that ain't a compliment." he glanced around, searching for something. "Hey, 's there anythin' ta drink around here?"

"What would you like? From what I can see, there are milkweed pods, both chocolate and white, some tsoda popka, boot rear, and a beerbarrel tree.

Expectedly, Tasuki's ears perked up at the mention of alcohol. He rubbed his hands together. "Now that's one pun I LIKE! Where?"

"Tasuki-kun, I don't think that's a good idea, no da..." Chichiri stated. Tasuki turned to the monk.

"And why not?"

"We still have a while to walk, and the journey would be harder if you were intoxicated, no da." the thought he didn't voice was that he had seen Tasuki drunk before, and didn't want to go through that again. But Tasuki didn't need to know that.

The fire Seishi pouted, showing his fangs, but he couldn't argue with the older Seishi's logic. "Oh, alright, I'll try some a that root beer, or whatever."

"That's boot rear, flame-boy." Relicta corrected.

"And would ya STOP callin' me that?"

"Oh, alright." she smirked, mimicking him. "Fang-boy."

Tasuki grumbled, but followed her along with the others to a tree nearby.

"Boot rear! Boot rear!" the children yelled. Ted mock-kicked Monica in the rear, and she jumped, laughing. The others drew foaming cups of the liquid from a spigot set in the bulging trunk.

"Bottom's up!" said Relicta as Kouji took a sip. He jumped into the air.

"Don't do that!"

Tasuki looked confused. "Do what?"

"Kick me!"

"But, I didn't-"

"Why don't you try some, fang-boy?" Relicta tried to contain her laughter. Tasuki obligingly took a gulp.

And jumped straight into the air. He whirled on Kouji. "I know ya think I kicked ya before, but that's no reason ta get back at me!"

Kouji looked indignant. "Gen-chan, I didn't-" he paused at the sound of the demoness' laughter. "What's so funny?"

Eyeing his cup warily, Chichiri took a sip, and also jumped into the air. He nodded. "As I expected, na no da."

Relicta paused in her giggling, wiping her eyes. "You two got caught up in yet another pun."

"Boot rear! Boot rear!" Ted and Monica yelled, repeating their earlier performance.

"Pun?" Tasuki asked, angered. "That stupid pun kicked me in the $$$!"

Nearby foliage wilted at the bad word. The children looked interested.

"Kicked you WHERE?" Ted demanded.

"Ah, in the rear, no da." Chichiri covered.

Kouji smirked. "Ya shouldn't say stuff like that around 'em, Genrou. It ain't allowed here, remember?"

He frowned. "Yeah, yeah..."

Relicta clapped her hands, smiling as Ted and Monica stopped in their tracks to doing more mischief. "Well, are we all refreshed? Only a little further to the river, and then we'll camp for the night."

They turned to go, but discovered that their running sticks had... well, run off. The demoness smiled, picking up the children.

"No need to worry. I'll just slacken up the pace a bit, so you humans can keep up. We should still reach the With-A-Cookee by evening."

And so by mid-afternoon they continued their journey.

*****

In time the motley group encountered the first human beings they had yet to see in this strange land. It was a middle-aged woman and a teenage boy.

"Hello." the woman greeted as they approached. "My name is Mililani. I'm the ringleader, and these are my tops." she indicated a number of banana-yellow upside-down cones spinning on their pints.

"Greetings." said the boy. "I'm the count. I count the tops. And, indeed, he was counting the cones.

"I sense an impending pun, no da..." Chichiri stated.

Tasuki groaned. "I ain't gettin' involved."

"Boy counts leader Mill's little tops?" muttered Kouji. "No..."

"He counts the tops... which belong to her... her tops...no da..." the monk brightened. "Counter tops, no da! He counter tops!"

"Why are you so happy about another pun?" Tasuki grumbled. "C'mon, let's get going."

They turned to go as Ted and Monica came running excitedly up.

"Look!" Ted yelled.

"We got one!" Monica explained. They both held one of Mililani's tops. "Auntie Relicta, look!"

The demoness smiled. "Yes, I saw. Now,-oh."

A swirl of smoke appeared in their midst, that quickly coalesced into a handsome male form. "A greeting, newcomers." he said.

"Hello, Vore." Relicta replied. Then, to the humans: "This is the Demon Vore, Monica's dad. Are you here to pick her and Ted up?"

"Indeed. I will pick them up, since Metria brought them. Our half-souls make us obligated to do so."

"That's great. They really weren't that much trouble, today. It could gave been worse."

"And what are you up to this time around, youngling?" Vore inquired politely.

She frowned. "I would appreciate if you wouldn't call me that, Vore. After all, I'm three hundred-" she paused, glancing at the humans, "-months old."

"Very well," he agreed, gathering up the children. They disappeared in a swirl of smoke.

Relicta sighed. "Well, glad that's over. This day is turning out to be longer than expected."

*****

By the time they actually reached the beginning of the With-A-Cookee River, the sun had set, and the constellations had begun to emerge. Relicta located a camping site, and they set to work setting it up.

On one side of the encampment was a tall tree. Nestled in to two different triple forks of the tree's branches were two large, plush nests. As it was, this arrangement served a problem.

"There are only two nests to sleep in, and three of you." Relicta explained. "I don't need one, because I can rest while invisible. So, it's up to you to decide who shares and who gets one to himself."

One and a half glances were exchanged between the three. Kouji spoke.

"Genrou and I will share, so Chichiri-san can have his own."

The demoness nodded. "That alright with you, monk-boy?"

"Hai, no da."

They settled down to a dinner of fruits, nuts, bolts, and pies. When they all had eaten their fill, they retired for the night, to spend a restful evening for the morrow. Well, some more restful than other's.

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Ok, I believe I have Chichiri and Tasuki's personalities down pretty well, but do ya think I'm doin' Ok on Kouji's? I really don't have a good idea how he acts.

Next up: Tasuki and Kouji make up for lost time with a little... intimate greeting. *snicker*

Nozomi


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