Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Everybody Loves...Seiryuu Style! ❯ Everybody Loves 1 ( Chapter 1 )

Title: Everybody Loves Ashitare: The First of a Sickening Seiryuu Series

Author: Alexa (Veralidain@aol.com)

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. Whoops.

Author's Notes: It's incredible what you come up with on two hours of sleep and half a birthday cake in the middle of US history. Yay me. I know I primarily write angst, but when I thought of this, well, I couldn't resist. Besides, I love a chibi Nakago. So kawaii. Any ideas on improvement? Email me!

Warning: Some *very* strange implications, yaoi wise. Ooops? Also, some OOCness. Well duh, look at the title.

~~~~~

Ashitare was thinking (and a novel thing for him to do!). Why didn't anyone like him? What had he ever done? Ok, so he was half dog, that might have something to do with it. As goony as he was, he certainly wasn't stupid. He knew people didn't like anything that was different. He found himself in a charm shop, holding the little old lady that ran the shop against the wall with one enormous paw.

"Gimme a love potion," he growled. The lady motioned towards her neck.

"Oxy....g...en..." she gasped, and he let her go, grinning wolfishly (ok, I'll try to stop with the puns now). She bustled around the room, gathering things and pouring them into a bottle. "Here you go," she said, eying him warily as she handed him the mixture. He ripped the stopper out and downed the potion at once. As he left the dismembered woman behind, her last thoughts were about what a handsome young man he was. And so sweet.

***

Nakago glared at Ashitare. "And where were you?" He asked, pulling the whip out. Ashitare drooled and whimpered. Checking to see that no one was around, Nakago suddenly embraced the wolf-man, tackling him roughly. "I'll tell you the truth," he whipsered in Ashitare's furry head. "I love you," Ashitare jerked up at that and tried to get away, but Nakago had wrapped the whip around his ankle.

"Help..." he whimpered.

Soi was in the mood for sex, so she left the tent to find Nakago. He wasn't in any of the other tents, and she was mulling to herself about where he might be. She had finally given up and was heading for a stream to get a drink of water when she heard a noise like a drunk weasel chasing after a mongoose on acid with a pickaxe. Curious, she followed the sounds until she saw the strangest thing...Her eyes exploded in little hearts.

"Ashitare! My love!" She cried, running into the clearing.

Tomo was coming back from playing with his clams on the beach when he heard some strange noises. It sounded like a moose on crack strangling a lemur, with strange giraffe noises intermingled. He wondered briefly if going to investigate would mess up his make up, then decided it was worth it anyway. Sneaking to the edge of the fabled clearing, he peeked over the edge. Soi and Nakago were doing something strange to some furry thing. No, not some furry thing, his furry thing. A beautiful, wonderous furry thing. Ashitare. Ashitare would be his. He dove into the clearing, crying, "My sweet! Let me save you from the mean shogun and the ho from hell!"

Suboshi had been following Yui for some time after she escaped his view. He was a little pissed off because she had taken both horses and he was on foot. After running almost a mile at top speed to keep her in sight, he got tired and decided to simply walk the rest of the way. He trudged on, tired and unhappy. His Yui-sama kept hiding from him...how sad. That was when he heard some noises he couldn't even fathom coming from some bushes. He dove into them, wondering what was going on. Ashitare...Soi...Nakago...Tomo...?!

"Ashitare-sama!!" He yelled, running into the clearing.

Soi turned to her formerly-beloved shogun. "Outta my way, blondie," she yelled, aiming a bolt of lightning at him. Nakago dodged hastily and glared at her.

"Stay away from my love, you tin-plated trollop," he responded calmly, launching a chi ball at her. She dodged, flying over it and tackling the man. They collapsed in a violent rumbling pile of scraping armor. Ashitare, released, started running, only to find himself tackled by overly-amorous Tomo.

"My love, now you're mine, kakakakakakaka," Tomo cackled.

"Eeeeeiiiiiyaaaaaaahhhh!" Suboshi cried something incoherently as the ryuuseisui flew at Tomo, chasing him across the clearing at top speed. "You painted freak!" Suboshi yelled. "Ashitare-sama is mine!!" He flung himself at Ashitare, who, despite his greater strength, found himself unable to move beneath the boy (I guess it's one of those anime things. You know, like in Sailor Moon, when Usagi and Ami and all them hang out together and yet not one of those Negaverse creepies who are doing covert stuff ever notices they're the same person. I mean, there's only so many blonde girls running around Tokyo with pigtails like that with friends with the same hair. I mean, Kunzite, Sailor Moon is the girl with the pigtails, STUUUPID! Sorry, got carried away. I digress. Back to my tale of woe.). As Suboshi aimed his mouth for Ashitare's, he heard a voice behind him.

"Suboshi!" Yui said. Suboshi turned around.

"What do you want, you heartless *censored*?!" He asked, glaring at her.

"As your miko, I demand you release him." Well, Suboshi had no choice but to do so, but he did it reluctantly. At this point, Nakago and Soi's aims were pretty off anyway, so they were making the whole area pretty dangerous. That was when Tomo came out of nowhere, flying at Suboshi at a leap, his make-up smeared in a disgusting way down his cheeks. Yui turned to Ashitare.

"Shall we go?" She asked.

"Yes, thank you, Miko-sama," Ashitare panted.

"Not at all..." Yui trailed off, smiling at Ashitare, who found himself thinking, 'Not another one?!'

"Make it up to me later," Yui said, continuing on, not noticing Ashitare heading in the other direction.