Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ Needs Must Be ❯ Confess ( Chapter 3 )

Warnings: Yaoi Lime (The lemon's next chapter, I swear!).

Disclaimer: I bet you don't own them, either.

Needs Must Be

Chapter 3 - Confess

By Xellas M.

I went straight back to my room and told the serving staff that I did not want to be disturbed and to leave my meals outside the door. I set Nuriko's "present" on the nightstand before sinking to the floor, my head in my hands.

Have you ever tried to cry through a paper mask?

It doesn't work too well. I took it off.

* * * * *

I know from experience that it is possible to live with almost anything, given time to adjust. So I wait. Lunchtime, then dinnertime passes and I hear trays rattling outside my door, but I still am not ready to move. I should meditate, but I know I could not take a repition of last night's visions.

It hurts.

Finally, I move, but only to settle myself in for the night. I am just about to try to sleep when there is a soft knock on my door. My heart jumps in my chest, hoping that it is Tasuki. I smile, knowing how improbable that is and slightly amused at myself for having had the thought in the first place. I sit up in my bed and am just reaching to the bedside table for my mask when the knock is repeated, more loudly.

"Come in already no da." I have the mask and am lifting it to my face when I look up and freeze, enchanted paper dropping forgotten onto the floor. It -is- Tasuki, after all. He looks even wilder than is normal for him, golden eyes glazed and feral. I have seen that look once before, on a wolf that had been caught in a trap and was preparing to fight a losing battle just to end it's own suffering more quickly. His white pajamas are badly wrinkled, the top hanging completely open, unbuttoned. He is fidgeting restlessly in my doorway, his face and even his chest slightly flushed.

He is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. My voice is lost in admiration so I motion for him to come sit next to me. We have stayed up late just like this so many nights but this time there is something unspoken, overwhelming. He becomes even more visibly nervous as he crosses the room. The way he sits down tells me that he is aware of my presence, my body, hidden under the covers. He is very careful to leave plenty of space between us. Somehow, the way he is not touching me now is more intimate than any actual contact we have ever made. Nothing has been said but we both know that our friendship will change after tonight, that things will never be the same again.

He is fidgeting, toying with one of the rolled up sleeves of his pajama top. Regardless of what he is about to tell me, I am in awe of the bravery that allowed him to come here, that lets him display his emotions so openly. His nervousness gives me some confidence, enough to keep still and listen.

He looks at me, eyes serious in a face so young. He takes a deep breath and I brace myself for some kind of deep revelation.

"Chichiri, you look like shit!"

"DAAAA!" *Sweatdrop* Silently, I reply 'Maybe that's because I've spent the past couple hours crying over you, asshole.'

"Well, you weren't at dinner an' I was worried about you an' I said somethin' ta Nuriko, an' she knows somethin', dammit, but she said she couldn't say much." He looks at me, impressed. "I'd love ta know what you said to her! I don't think I've ever seen her that scared of anythin'."

His shrugs, then continues. "Chichiri, I have ta ask ya somethin'." He's not looking at me and I'm glad, I'm so afraid of what he has to say. His voice drops to a husky whisper and I can hear the pain in his words "How come you didn't tell me? That you- you love someone? You're my best friend an' I want you ta be happy."

"I told Nuriko not to say -anything-!" That just popped out. After a short silence, I whisper "I didn't want you to think less of me."

"You don't trust me."

A single tear slides down his face but I don't think he notices. I can't stop myself from moving closer and I don't want to. Even though it will mean rejection, I can't stand for him to be hurt on my account. He has to know why I couldn't tell him, that it is my fault and not his. I trace the path the tear made with a single finger, wiping the moisture from his cheek. How in the world does he manage to shave so smoothly? His skin is so soft; I cannot stop touching him. I continue lightly tracing all the lines of his perfect face, following the sharp ridge of his eyebrow, down his cute nose, along his square jaw. He is leaning in to my touch now. His eyes are almost closed and his breath is shallow. "Tasuki." I whisper, trying to find words that will tell him how much he means to me and how sorry I am that I hurt him. I begin touching his full lower lip, wondering what it would taste like, trying to work up the courage to kiss him.

His mouth opens and my prying finger is neatly caught by one of his sharp little fangs. I gasp, more from surprise than actual pain. His lips close and I am trapped. He opens his eyes, meeting my gaze squarely and sucks gently. The look he is giving me is an invitation, his heart in his eyes, completely irresistible. I feel the quick, gentle brush of his tongue against my finger and then he releases me.

I can't stay away from him, not when he's looking at me like that. I move even closer and kiss him lightly on the lips. He is so warm! He reaches around my back, hands in my hair, pulling me closer. The kiss changes and there's nothing at all innocent about it any more, although whether that's Tasuki's fault or my own I'm not sure. I don't know what I'm doing; I'm in way over my head but I can't seem to stop. I manage to release his lips only to feel him kissing up my neck to my ear. He bites down gently on my earlobe before pulling away.

My entire body is trembling in anticipation of what he might to do next.

Which apparently is nothing. His hand moves from my hair and rests lightly over my own. He is breathing heavily, chest heaving, and I take in the sight of his beautiful body, lingering for a minute near the drawstring of his pajama bottoms. He wants me, too, the same way I need him. I can see the evidence clearly. I lick my lips.

He clears his throat with a sort of strangled sound. His eyes dart around the room desperately, coming to rest on the jar sitting boldly on the table near the bed. His eyes become the size of dinner plates and his jaw drops. "Chichiri you…you…HENTAI!!!"

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End Part 3

~To Be Continued