Fushigi Yuugi Fan Fiction ❯ The Emperor's New Look ❯ Yui's plan ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

hc: Here I am again.*yanks chains attached to her arms*
FY cast: And here WE are again.
hc: *smiles* Here's chapter two. Hope you like.
Nuriko: Uh, you forgot the-
hc: I OWN FY!!! I OWN THE GROOVE!!! I OWN EVERYTHING!!!!
MWUAH HAH HAH-!
*is dragged off in a straight jacket by ten lawyers in shades*
Chichiri: She'll be back, after all she has to narrate, no da... let's just keep going.
hc: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!!!!!
FY cast: Knew it.
hc: Just some legal difficulties. I just promised that I'd do the disclaimer from now
on and then they'd get off my case.
I DON'T own either of them and I was only joking before.
I also don't own Pokémon(yes! This is one of the few I'm glad I don't!!!).
And may I add I do NOT own the lyrics to 'The Game of Love' by Santana and
Michelle Branch?
FY cast: Add whatever you want. Let's just start.

Chapter Two - Yui's Plan

**Tamahome shoved his hands in his pockets grimly as he made his way down the grand staircase. He hadn't gotten lost this time, cause he just wanted to get the hell out of there, yet even this process took forever as the palace was HUGE beyond belief. Glancing around, he sighed,**

Tamahome: I can't even find my horse and wagon...

Voice: They're over there, and the horse is tied to the post at the side of the road.

Tamahome: Thanks. Wha-?!

**He looked up and saw the random dude from before(you know, the one who got thrown out the window) tangled inside a hanging curtain. Without a second thought, Tamahome went to help the guy down.**

Tamahome: How'd you get up here?

Random Dude: Oh, I crashed into the emperor.

Tamahome: Crashed into him?

RD: Yeah, I really wanted to get a closer look at his beautiful face. *swoons a bit
at the memory*

Tamahome: Uh, yeah, right. You look awfully familiar.

RD: Do I? I was one of the bandits in FY.

Tamahome: Really?

RD: Yeah! The one who clung to Hotohori's leg.

hc: *pounds the desk, unknowingly smashing the old thing in two* YOU GUYS!
YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT THE FY SERIES IN THIS PARODY!!!

Both: Sorry.

**Finally getting back on track, Tamahome asked,**

Tamahome: How could getting a closer look end you up here?

RD: Oh, his bodyguard Mitsukake had me thrown out the window cause I ruined
his hair and clothes. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to have a broken collarbone-
OH GOD IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!! But not half as much as ruining the emperor's
look!!! BEWARE THE LOOK!! The looooook...

Tamahome: *covers his ears, still helping the guy down* Uh, I'm on my way out
of town, I'll take you to the doctor.

RD: Thank you!! YOU ARE TOO KIND!!!

Tamahome: Yeah, yeah. It's not that big a deal.

**The two of them made their way slowly down the stairs, as the guy ranted and raved about the LOOOOOK. What they didn't know, and neither did Hotohori for that matter, was that far below, a plan was being concocted out of their knowledge.**

(Scene change)

**Yui ran down to her lair in a rage, a giant mallet in her hands. Like every other place within 20 miles of the palace, statues of Hotohori were scattered around the lair, her lair. Screaming out loud, and I mean LOUD, she brought down her mallet and smashed one of Hotohori's busts.**

Yui: YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**As the stone crumbled at her feet, she breathed in and out heavily, staring down at the pieces. Nakago followed her in, after peeking around the corner to see if she had calmed down. He carried a whole lot more Hotohori statues(don't ask how, he has super human strength).**

Nakago: Did that make you feel better? Here's more.

**As she smashed up more statues, Yui complained,**

Yui: How DARE that megalomaniac fire me?????!!!!!!!!

Nakago: *puts on thick rimmed glasses and flips through a dictionary*
I guess I'll have to look that word up later.

Yui: ME???!!!! We all know that I am more capable than him!!

Nakago: You are using too much punctuation in your speech.

Yui: What was that??

Nakago: Nothing, I'm supposed to be stupid. *throws his glasses away*
DUUUUUUUHHH!!!!!!

Yui: That damn emperor has everyone under his thumb. It'd do the empire
good to get rid of him.

Nakago: Actually, he doesn't. The fangirls are just slaves to their desires.

Yui: You're missing the point. I should be ruling the empire!!!

Nakago: How right you are, Lady Yui.

Yui: Wait, Nakago! *pulls the front of his shirt, yanking him down so she
can whisper in his ear* Why don't I take over and rule the empire?

Nakago: Well, that's going to be hard. I mean, everyone loves him. This
isn't like the original Disney story. Plus, how're we just gonna waltz
in and say, 'We're taking over'?

Yui: Who said anything about you ruling?

Nakago: I did, ma'am.

Yui: I shall rule solely!! And in order to do so, we're going to have to-

Nakago: NOW who's saying 'we'?

Yui: ME!!!! We're going to kill Hotohori!!

Nakago: Ooooh, funny-fun! *rubs his hands together*
How'll we do it? Slit his throat?
Extreme torture? What about my whip?
Better yet, my chi!

**Nakago demonstrated his seishi stamina by blowing up the bigger Hotohori statues. Unfortunately, some of the stone chunks were still too large and conked him out as they rushed past. As little birds flew around his head, and Kenshin swirlies formed for his eyes, Yui thought aloud,**

Yui: I must think up a plan! Is it possible to do it without Nakago's help?
*looks at his fallen form*
It heavily depends upon the plan...
*kicks him*
Wake up, you buffoon!

Nakago: But, Mommy, I already have 2 dozen teddy bears...

Yui: WAKE UP, MY LOYAL HENCHMAN!!!!

Nakago: *wakes up with a start* The Lady Yui calls!
I must do her bidding! (so I can get my wish...)

hc: WHAT DID I JUST FINISH TELLING THE OTHER GUYS!! I TOLD
YOU NOT TO TALK ABOUT THE FY SERIES IN THIS PARODY!!!!!

Nakago: You yell too much.

hc: It's the only way to be heard in a family of eight kids!!!!!!!! *notices her hoarse voice*
Okay, I'll shut up a bit. Yes, I really do have a cold. Keep parodying!

Nakago: Another word to look up.

Yui: It ain't a word.

Nakago: Yeah it is. 'Ain't' ain't a word.

Yui: Whatever!!! I just got an idea. *runs over to one of her levers, pulls it*

Nakago: *whining tone* Why can't I ever pull the lever?

**A trapdoor was released beneath Yui's feet, and she fell down to an even more secret lair underneath her already secret lair. Nakago saw what was going down(besides Yui -_-;;;;), and swan-dives down the open trap door after her. The both of them arrived there via a slide(author giggles at the mental image), when just then-**

Yui: Why do we even have that lever?

Nakago: *with a Victreebell on his head* Don't ask me.

James(from Pokémon): Give that back!! Victreebell, return!!
*disappears off Nakago's head in that weird red light*

Nakago: I knew you couldn't pull the right lever!!! Let me!!

Yui: Nakago!! Not that one!!!

**An overhead trapdoor was released above them, and little red and white
balls fell on Nakago's head.**

Nakago: Owchies...

Yui: You FOOL, you let out the killer Pokémon!! Now we're doomed!!!!!!!!

**The killer Pokémon are released, and Pikachu proceeds to use electric shocks to fry out their brains. A/N: That is gross.**

Nakago: It's easy, we just gotta catch 'em allTM!!
*uses his seishi powers to keep the Pokémon busy, while Yui is
vigorously throwing one Pokéball after another*

Yui: Nakago, you killed 'em allTM!!

Nakago: Whoopsie! My mistake...

Yui: I used them to ward off intruders, but oh well... I'll live.
*spins around and is suddenly in a white lab coat, accessorized by lab goggles*

Nakago: I didn't know you had powers too!!

Yui: It's some of that Disney magic.

Nakago: I want some Disney magic too!! *waves his hands around, and
pixie dust falls from his fingers*
I can fly! *he floats up toward the ceiling*

Yui: You can fly, you can fly, you can flyyyyyyyyyyy!

hc: That is another story altogether, don't get into it. *grabs his foot and yanks him down*

Nakago: *rubbing his rear end* That hurt...

**hime-chan gave him his own lab coat and goggles, so now he was properly attired, FINALLY.**

Nakago: What's your plan, Lady Yui?

Yui: Remember how in the FY series-*glances at me, but I nod* - you made
a potion called a Kodoku?
Well, you have to help me make it again.

Nakago: This isn't FY. This is a mercilessly cruel parody which is totally warping our personalities.

Yui: You think I care? As long as I get paid, I'll play any part.

Nakago: Yeah, and you always manage to get the part of the bitch.

Yui: WHAT??? *holds a fist over his head*

Nakago: Don't hurt me or I'll call the authoress.

hc: *waves her index finger* Now, now Yui.

Yui: Oh, fine. Anyhoo, Nakago, do as I say!

Nakago: Okie-dokey! One kodoku poisoning coming up!

Yui: *conjuring a vile out of nowhere* And I'll make it even more lethal!
AHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

Nakago: *twitters off to gather ingredients; all readily available*
Let's see, a little bit of this, a little bit of that-
It started with a kiss, now we're up to bat.
A little bit of laughs, a little bit of pain-
No WAIT, a LOT of pain- heh heh...

Yui: Shut up!

Nakago: *mixes together a bunch of potions, like a master chef person*

**As Nakago did so, Yui waited outside the door. Even she wasn't allowed to see how it was made, cause it was a secret family recipe. All right, so Nakago's family has a lot of enemies, okay? But he was the only one who had used it in about a hundred or so years.**

Yui: Hurry it up, will ya? It can't take that long!

Nakago: I'm done but you can't come in!

Yui: Why the hell not?

Nakago: Because I'm making dinner!!!

Yui: Is that secret too?

Nakago: Yeah!

**Yui was amazed that Nakago was thinking of their victims's last meal when he smiled unnaturally again.**

Nakago: The Kodoku is more potent when food is in your stomach.

**She knew he couldn't be that nice.**

Yui: Let's... start... dinner!!

(Scene change)

Hotohori: Please ladies, I must go to dinner now.

Fangirls: Aww, but Hotohori-sama...

Hotohori: I shall return to do business with you. Farewell.

**As he turned away, the fangirls positively swooned, several of them meeting the red carpet he walked on. Hotohori made
his way down to the dining room, waiting until a servant opened the door for him. Meanwhile, the two bad guys were inside planning.**

Yui: Did you insert the poison?

Nakago: What poison?

Yui: *look*

Nakago: Oh, that poison, the poison that we're going to put in Hotohori's drink, the poison
that's going to kill Hotohori, Hotohori's poison. *pauses* Uh, that poison...?

Yui: Yes that poison!! What other one?

Nakago: You never know. I may have made another one while I was drunk last night.

Yui: You were drunk last night?

Nakago: Whoops, shouldn't have said that.

Yui: Never mind! He's coming!!

**They stood there, pinning cheesy smiles to their faces when the emperor was escorted inside.**

Yui: Welcome, welcome, your Majesty! Please be seated!

Hotohori: Thank you, Lady Yui. I am glad you bear no ill will toward me for dismissing you.

Yui: *teeth clenched* Yes, this is simply my way of showing you so.

Hotohori: What's for dinner?

Nakago: I made chicken chow mein.

Hotohori: Hmm, very authentic. What's that smell?

Nakago: Ohmigod, it's burning! *runs off*

**Silence overhung the room after Nakago tore off to see to his food. Then Hotohori spoke up.**

Hotohori: He's new to this sidekick thing, right?

Yui: Kinda. He's used to being the one in charge.

Hotohori: Oh.

Nakago: *comes back* Here you go, but careful, it's still hot.

Yui: Uh, Nakago... *coughthepoisoncough*

Nakago: Wha? Oh - riiiiiiiiiiight... *winks*

**Nakago went over to mix the drinks, slipping the Kodoku into Hotohori's drink. He smiled evilly as he put them down on the table. Yui took the un-poisoned one and held it up for a toast.**

Yui: A toast - to your long and happy rule.

Hotohori: Yes, I agree. *takes a drink* Ah, that was refreshing.
*helps himself to the chow mein*

Yui: *thinking* Nothing happened. Err, when I get my hands on Nakago...
*reaches over to grab her subordinate's neck*

**Just then, Yui and Nakago noticed red feathers sprouting from the emperor's head. They watched with mouths hanging open as his face grew longer, his mouth becoming a beak. His neck elongated and his arms turned to wings and feathers sprouted in many different places.**

Yui: Nakago... *bangs fist into her hand**

Nakago: Oh. *grabs a plate, bashes it over Hotohori's head*

Hotohori: *stars around his head* Oh, my... *faints*

Yui: What the hell-? A peacock?? He's supposed to be dead!!!!!!!

Nakago: Yeah, weird. And not just any peacock, he's Suzaku!!!

Yui: Hurry, take him and kill him while he's unconscious!!!

Nakago: What about dessert?

Yui: You made dessert? Okay, we'll have dessert.

Nakago: You're acting like the other miko(he means Miaka)...

Yui: YOU DARE QUESTION ME??? WE SHALL KILL HIM AFTER DESSERT!!!!!

*************************************************************************** ********************

hc: Never get in the way of a girl and her dessert. Hey, you guys, you think they'll review?

FY guys and gals: If they're smart, they wouldn't.

hc: What? (;_;)

FY guys and gals: Oh, just review for crying out loud!!! Make her feel better!!!