Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Counterfeit Life ❯ Chapter 10 ( Chapter 11 )

Warning: This story is NC-17 because it contains foul language, explicit sex, and generalized adult themes.

 

This story will also contain YAOI… MAN-ON-MAN SEX… don't like it… fine… just go elsewhere.

 

I'M STATING THIS HERE AND NOW FOR ALL READERS TO SEE…

 

IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 17, OR ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE IDEA OF MAN-ON-MAN SEX PLEASE MOVE ALONG TO ANOTHER STORY. FROM HERE ON OUT… THERE'S SEXUAL CONTENT IN JUST ABOUT EVERY CHAPTER. THANK YOU!

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki… they belong to Kazuya Minekura, and she is a lucky lucky lady… I do however own the song addiction, and any original characters.

 

Sidenotes: This story is AU, and takes place in present day New York… Oh and don't be surprised if the characters are OOC, because I decided to create a more emotional side to both of the main characters, to push the story along.

 

Also: This story hasn't been beta read, but I'm fairly anal about revision and spell check and the like, so there should be very few grammatical errors. Hopefully none, but one never knows.

 

Please read and review as I can use all the help I can get. I'd appreciate any suggestions. Anywho, I hope you like it.

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Chapter 10: Regrets

Sanzo's POV…

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Sanzo climbed into his M3, lit a cigarette, and pulled out of the parking garage. He hadn't seen or spoken to Gojyo in over a week, and didn't plan on it. He was still way too pissed. He had questions that needed answers, but he wasn't sure there was one good enough. He was supposed to be on his way to work, and even though he'd already taken a day off last week, he just wasn't in the mood. He pulled out his cell phone, and dialed the office.

 

“Zenon Industries, Sanzo Douji's office, this is Akira, how may I help you?” a polite voice said.

“Akira, Sanzo.”

“How can I help you, Sir?”

“I'm not coming in today…”

“But, Sir, you have an appointment with Kougaiji this afternoon.”

 

Shit… the new investor… Ahhh… Fuck it… I need a day off…

 

“Cancel it. If any calls that need my urgent attention come through, go ahead and forward them to my office. I'll be checking my messages periodically.”

 

“Yes, Sir.”

“Thanks, Akira. Have a good day.”

“Thank you, Sir. You too.”

“Oh and Akira?”

“Yes, Sir?”

 

“Go ahead and take off after lunch. You deserve a day off too,” and with that, he hung up, leaving his sputtering baffled assistant to fend for himself.

 

Sanzo really had no idea where to go. He obviously didn't want to go to the office. He sure as hell couldn't go back home, and Gojyo's was out of the question. Every time he thought about the redhead, he saw him curled up against another man, so he decided to drive around. He'd know when he got to where he wanted to be. He maneuvered onto the expressway, and miraculously, he was making good time. When he passed the exit he'd used to get to Gojyo's last week, he realized where he needed to be. He may not want to see his lover, but he needed to. Gojyo was the fire that kept his candle lit, and without him, he was lost in the emptiness of shadows.

 

I should probably call first…

 

“Hello?” Gojyo answered in a soft whisper.

“Gojyo…”

“San-Sanzo…”

 

He sounds weird…

 

“Yeah…”

“H-How have you be-en?” Gojyo stuttered.

“Been better…” he growled.

“I-I… What hap-happened?”

 

Is he… crying?

 

“Gojyo, are you alright?” he asked curiously.

“Uhhh… yeah… f-fine.”

 

He's lying…

 

“I'm on my way over. We need to talk.”

“Okay. I'll be here.”

“Bye…” he mumbled.

 

He was about to hang up, when he heard Gojyo say, `I love you…' in a voice that made him seem broken and fragile. But he didn't respond. He couldn't. He wasn't ready yet, so he just hung up.

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When he found himself outside his lovers door, he hesitated. There was a lot he wanted to know. Gojyo had taken someone else into their bed, and he needed to know why. I'll let it go for now… At the moment he had more important questions to ask.

 

“Gojyo?” he called, as he walked into their apartment, and made his way into the living room. The redhead was sitting on the couch, naked as the day he was born. Sanzo forgot to breathe as he stood up, moved around the couch, and embraced him. “Go…” he began, but he was silenced by a tan finger over his lips, and was drawn into a soul-searing kiss.

 

When they pulled apart for precious air, Gojyo slipped off his suit jacket, loosened his tie, and unbuttoned his shirt. “Gojyo, what are you…” he tried, but he was distracted by the removal of his shirt, and the fingers running along his chest. Gojyo gripped his tie, pulled him into the bedroom, and when his knees met their bed, he was pushed down onto it.

 

Gojyo looked down at him, with a look in his eyes Sanzo could only call tenderness, and then kneeled in front of him. Gojyo unbuckled his belt, as he lay there in confusion, and pulled his belt from his hips. He felt the slip of the button on his pants, and heard the jagged slide of his zipper.

 

He finally sat up, and looked his love in the eyes. Gojyo had never been this eager before, and it worried him, even though he was still angry. They stared each other in the eyes for a long time before Gojyo moved to engulf his flaccid cock, but he caught him just underneath the chin. “Gojyo, what the hell is going on?”

 

“Missed… you... Love… you… Need… you…” Gojyo replied his voice cracking on every word, tears hanging precariously in his eyes. Sanzo was about to question the tears, but stopped himself. He said he needed me… All his questions could wait…

 

With delicate fingers, Gojyo pushed Sanzo back down onto the bed, and enveloped his sex. His tongue swirled around the tip, and he sucked with such eagerness, that it pushed Sanzo further into compliance. Teeth ran along his length softly, and he held back a groan. When he felt a talented tongue dip into the slit at the head of his erection, he moaned out loud, and snapped his hips up, but Gojyo stilled him, with a well-placed hand. He sat up, and ran his fingers through crimson locks. The mouth stopped working and looked up at him. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, and the anger he'd been feeling, evaporated. “Gojyo… what…”

 

“L-later…” the redhead said, and resumed his work. This wasn't like any other time they'd made love over the last three years. Instead of the hurried need to touch and taste, it was a slow melt, a tender brush, and soft kisses. It was making his head spin. The slow twirl of tongue against flesh, the almost inch by inch slide of his erection inside its moist cavern. Gojyo took him into the back of his throat, and swallowed. Sanzo's fingers unconsciously tightened in his hair, as he let out a low growl.

 

“I love you, Gojyo…” the mouth stilled for a second, as if in surprise, but kept going. Oh god… does he think I don't love him… Is that why he was crying? Sanzo tried to think about it, but that wasn't to be. Gojyo released him from the moist prison and stroked his seeping tip. Graceful fingers cupped his balls and fondled them, as Gojyo licked him leisurely like a lollipop. Sanzo was having trouble focusing his eyes, he wanted to watch his love, but he couldn't see straight.

 

Gojyo engulfed him once more, working his shaft with almost expert precision. “Go…” but he couldn't finish. His inner coil had been tightening in around itself in an endless swirl, a light sheen of sweat on his skin, and he was close. Gojyo drew him into the back of his throat once more. He swallowed twice, and hummed. Sanzo's hips snapped forward, as he came, his lips gasping out his lovers name, then flopped back onto the bed. Gojyo swallowed every drop, stood, and mounted his lap. Using his tie to pull him off the bed, trim legs wrapped around his waist, and two arms found their way around his neck.

 

Sanzo ran his fingers in soothing circles, up the redheads legs, and nearly groaned at the feel of Gojyo's erection against his stomach. He nudged Gojyo's head, with his own, and the redhead looked up. He wasn't crying anymore, and Sanzo leaned in for a kiss. But instead of a kiss, he was stunned when Gojyo hugged him. His legs locking in place around his waist, and pulled him even closer, dropping his head to Sanzo's shoulder.

 

“Gojyo… Baby… What's wrong?” he asked, but he had a feeling he already knew. The redhead didn't answer, instead, he just clenched him even tighter, and tan fingers slid up to grasp the back of his head. And then he was being kissed. The kiss was heart breaking, in its nearly desperate intensity. It was full of promise, sadness, love and desolation, and it ripped at his soul.

 

Gojyo's POV…

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Gojyo poured everything he felt into that one kiss. The lips and tongue that worked against his own, was home, it was where he was meant to be. Sanzo needed to know that, before he could speak. Gojyo unwrapped himself from his lover, and stood. He pulled Sanzo off the bed by his tie, and slid his pants down his legs, then removed his tie. Sanzo merely watched him with curious eyes. Gojyo gestured towards the bed with his head, and Sanzo obeyed, sprawling out, his head resting on the pillows.

 

He's so beautiful, Gojyo thought as he looked his love over, from head to toe. My heart, My life, My soul…

 

He crawled over his lover and straddled his hips. They made eye contact, and Sanzo stroked his fingers down Gojyo's back. When he reached the redheads perfect ass, he gripped the cheeks in a possessive, yet gentle grasp, and worked them with his palms. He pulled them apart, exposing his entrance to the air, and Gojyo whimpered, hips involuntarily rocking to gain some sort of friction, against his straining erection.

 

As his body worked its hips, and Sanzo kneaded his cheeks, he could feel the beginnings of Sanzo's second wind. It only served to push him into a frenzy, making his cock jump, and precum leak from its tip. With one hand on a pale chest, he propped himself up, swiped his tongue over his fingers, and inserted one into his entrance. Sanzo was so distracted by the task, literally at hand, and the feeling of Gojyo's erection rubbing against his own, that he didn't notice.

 

“Sanzo…” Gojyo mewled as he inserted a second finger, and stretched himself briefly. He didn't need any more preparation. This was Sanzo, his lover, his best friend... his heart… his world… and he wanted to be filled to the brim, as tightly as he could be. At the moment, it seemed there was nothing more important then that. Gojyo pulled his hand away, and his hips came to rest. Sanzo looked up at him in question, and he tried to smile.

 

He leaned forward, and stole a deep kiss. As he moved back, he positioned Sanzo, and began to take him in, but Sanzo caught his hips. “Gojyo… I don't want to hurt you.”

 

Gojyo gave him a genuine smile, affection reflected in his eyes, and said, “Don't worry. You won't.” Determination flashed in his eyes briefly, and he began to impale himself once more, Sanzo helped him with strong hands on his hips, as he lowered himself slowly, sweat marring his skin. Once Sanzo was in to the hilt, he gave a muted groan, and smiled down at his love.

 

Gojyo took a moment to settle the emotions warring within him, and the sensation of being filled, so deeply, so completely, by the man that was his everything. There wasn't a single thing in the world that could compare to this. Hell, he couldn't think of a single thing that even came close. When he pulled up, it burned slightly, but it didn't matter. He wanted to please Sanzo. Make him shake with pleasure, and scream his release. Gojyo slid back down his length, and Sanzo groaned. “Gojyo… what…”

 

“Loving you,” he replied and rolled his hips slowly. His hands found Sanzo's, and entwined their fingers, his hips continuing their deliberate rotation. He was intent on doing all the work, because this was all about Sanzo. He wanted to make him understand how much he loved and needed him. But Sanzo never had been the passive type. As Gojyo pressed their hips together again, Sanzo met him half way, and he couldn't help the moan that poured from his lips.

 

He turned his eyes to Sanzo, and found a mask of control. He wants to go wild… but he hasn't yet…Gojyo rode his length endlessly, teeth digging into his lower lip in concentration, and tears streaming down his cheeks. He was slick now, the slide of the pulsating erection within him, made that much easier, by the precum flowing inside him. As he came down again, Sanzo angled his hips, and caught Gojyo's prostate. “Sanzo…” Gojyo mewled, as he lost his rhythm.

 

He didn't protest, when Sanzo rolled them over and switched their positions. “Gojyo…” Sanzo said, as he lifted the redheads chin. “I don't know what's going on with you today… but… I don't want to see you crying when we make love…” he said as he wiped away Gojyo's tears. Gojyo tried to thrust his hips into Sanzo's, but he was held in place by a steel grip. “Do you want this?”

 

How can he even ask me that?

 

“Of course I do. More than anything. Please, Sanzo… Love me…” Gojyo pleaded, and he did. His hips sliding back and forth, at a snail's pace. Gojyo could feel every vein, every inch, as he moved in and out. The slow pace was tantalizing. It almost felt like a tease, and had his coil tightening in response. Sanzo angled his hips, and pressed in hard. The man beneath him moaned, and bit his lip. Sanzo wrapped a hand around Gojyo's weeping erection, and stroked gently, while delivering slow hard thrusts. Gojyo groaned as he felt his prostate being touched over and over.

 

Quickly, he found himself on the edge of release, but it wouldn't come. He whimpered, and pushed his hips forward erratically. Sanzo picked up his speed, rolling his hips as he moved. Gojyo felt the slams against his prostate, and the hand stroking him in time with the thrusts, but his release wouldn't come. Sanzo's body was trembling above him, with the effort of holding back his own release. Hand pumping furiously, hips pistoning back and forth.

 

Gojyo growled, and pushed his hips harder, but he could see the edge getting further and further away. “I love you,” Sanzo said, and took his lips in a possessive kiss. Gojyo screamed his release into his lovers mouth as he came, seed spilling into his lovers hand. Less then a second later, he felt hot seed spray inside him, and continued to push his hips into Sanzo's as he moved, letting his body fully milk Sanzo's release.

 

Sanzo collapsed on his stomach, and Gojyo wrapped his legs around his waist, and stroked his hair. “I love you too. Thank you. That was amazing.”

 

Sanzo looked up at him with hazy eyes, and smiled.

 

Gojyo smiled back, and let the drowsiness take him away.

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When he opened his eyes to the world, he was lying on a pale chest, a strong arm molding him to the other man's body. He pressed a kiss to the skin beneath his lips, and Sanzo stirred. He changed the position of his head, and listened to his lovers heartbeat, assuring himself, that Sanzo was really there. He's here now, but he won't be forever. He's going to leave again, his conscience told him, and he frowned.

 

“Sanzo, can I ask you a question?” the redhead whispered, as his fingers caressed silky skin.

“Hn?” Sanzo said foggily, having been pulled out of his light sleep. “Of course, anything.”

“When is this all going to end?”

“What?”

“This,” Gojyo said gesturing to the two of them. “Us...”

“I don't…”

 

“When are you going home?” Gojyo asked even though his original question went much deeper than that.

 

“I have a few hours. Why?”

“I don't…”

“What's wrong?”

“Wrong? I don't know. Everything… Nothing…”

“Gojyo…”

 

“You're married to someone you don't even love…” Gojyo said, as he rolled over, grabbed the ashtray, and lit a cigarette. “Sometimes, when the door closes, I wonder if I'll ever see you again.”

 

“Gojyo…”

“We can't even go out in public together anymore.”

“I'm trying to protect Mei's reputation. She doesn't deserve to have people laughing behind her back.”

 

“Right, but I deserve to sit here alone, while you play house?”

“I'm sorry. What do you want me to do? It's too late now. I'm already married, and…”

“You're right, it was too late the second you told your father yes.”

“What's gotten into you?”

 

“What's gotten into me? Sanzo, I spend every night alone. I love you with everything I have, and it's still not enough. What do I have to do?”

 

“Oh now you love me! That's rich!” Sanzo shouted. “A week ago you were laying in a sticky pile of flesh with some random guy. You're full of shit.”

 

“What?” Gojyo questioned with shock in his eyes.

 

“I came over to see you, because we had a fight. I wanted to make up, but evidently you already made-up with someone else,” Sanzo growled with disgust.

 

“You knew?” Gojyo whispered. “Why didn't you say anything?”

“Because you were crying, and I was worried about you.”

“It didn't mean anything.”

“Maybe not to you, but I will never be able to wash that memory away.”

 

Neither will I, Gojyo thought as a shudder passed over his skin.

 

“I fucked up. I'm sorry. What more do you want me to say?”

 

“Fucked up? What the fuck, Gojyo?!? I was so mad, I thought I was gonna fucking kill him. I come to see you with wine and roses, and you're passed out in bed, wrapped around some guy. You're with me. Just what the hell did you think you were doing anyway?” Sanzo screeched as he paced the bedroom floor.

 

“You're right. What I did was wrong, and I feel terrible,” Gojyo said pleadingly.

“Were you even going to tell me?”

“I planned on it,” he said, and he had, but after they'd made love, it didn't seem like the right time.

“Did you ever stop to think about how this might affect me?”

 

“What? Did you ever stop to think it might have affected me too? And you have no right to be angry with me for fucking someone else.”

 

“Yes I do! We're a couple, Gojyo. Couples are committed to each other and…”

 

“Committed to each other? You go home to your wife, who's really just your mistress, every night. The very thought of you with someone else tears me apart, but I've lived with it. How dare you question my fidelity, when you've been cheating on me for almost two years, right in front of my fucking face!”

 

“Gojyo…” Sanzo said placing a hand on the redheads shoulder.

Gojyo pushed his hand off and turned to face him. “I don't want to hurt anymore, Sanzo…”

 

“Gojyo, you chose this. I wanted to let you go, because I was afraid it would hurt you, but you said it was okay. That you would be fine. That you wanted to stay. I didn't know you were hurting this much. I'm sorry.” Sanzo said soothingly as he wrapped Gojyo in a hug. “Why didn't you tell me?”

 

“Because it wouldn't have done any good. You already made up your mind, about how you were going to live your life. And…” Gojyo choked on his next words. “Don't you see? This is killing me,” he finished, tears rolling down his cheeks, falling deeper into the warmth of Sanzo's body.

 

“Gojyo, give me some time. I will fix this. I promise!” Sanzo said confidently.

 

Why do you always make promises you can't keep? I know you're trying to make me feel better… but in the end… it just hurts me even more…

 

“Sanzo, I'm so tired of this game. We make plans, you show up, you get laid, and then you bail out early. It's been three months since the last time we spent the night together.”

 

“It hasn't been that long!” Sanzo insisted.

 

“Yes it has. We haven't spent the night together since I went to Houston with you. Three very long and lonely months. I never have any clue what's going on with you, so my imagination runs wild. Do you know what it's like to lay in bed at night, and wonder if the man you love is fucking someone else, and telling her he loves her? It's too much.”

 

“You want to know about her? I never brought it up because I thought it would hurt you.”

“No, I don't want to know about her, I want… never mind… Just go home to your wife.”

“What? Gojyo…”

“Play happy family…”

“But… Gojyo… I love you… and…”

 

“No, Sanzo. Just stop. Please... Somewhere along the line, this became something else, and I can't do it anymore. I don't know who you think I am, but I-I… I'm nobodies whore.”

 

“Gojyo, you're not my whore. I've never seen you that way.”

 

“Well, half the time, you treat me like one.” Gojyo said sadly. “Please… I just… I want you to leave. I need a few days to think.”

 

“I truly do love you, Gojyo,” Sanzo said, fear flooding his indigo eyes.

“I know. I love you too, but sometimes that's not enough.”