Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Everybody Loves My Baby ❯ Chapter 2

Everybody Loves My Baby

 

Part II

 

The next time they pick up this discussion is right after Hakkai and Goku have described in explicit and impressive detail the events of the night before, after Sanzo, as usual, threw them out of the room, and settled down with his newspaper. Gojyo is still trying to bend his distracted mind around it. He's already vowed never to drink again, never to sleep without his shirt again, and to always stand in against the corner of the bar, because he sure as hell isn't going to sit again. He can't believe that he's got to be the reasonable one here. Damn that Hakkai. It ain't his job to be reasonable, ever, but this is just - insane - it's not gonna work. Nope.

 

“If post-battle euphoria worked with you, I don't see why it shouldn't work with Sanzo” Goku points out, in between mouthfuls of some unidentifiable greasy pork-nonsense.

“Hey, that was different, okay? I'm not stuck up, and prissy. I don't mind doing things, and stuff, mostly.” Gojyo is very nearly red-faced, he's pretty sure that at that particular moment he would have done pretty much anything Hakkai told him to, and that includes what he apparently did do that evening. Not that he remembers, it was all a daze after Hakkai produced the flavoured lube and the goddamn monkey put his mouth to good use for once.

 

Hakkai is sitting with palms folded on the table, absently humming, like he hasn't just outlined in his perfect diction the most insane, ludicrous, suicidal orgy-plan that Gojyo's heard ( and he's heard quite a few, and not stopped at hearing about them too.)

 

“I still can't believe that I'm the voice of reason in this whole mess!” Gojyo is furious, aroused, confused, and wary all at once. There has got to be a catch somewhere - Hakkai probably knows it already, but he won't tell, and most likely doesn't care. This is his specialty, dammit! Somebody ought to listen to him. He tries again. He can be like Hakkai. He can explain, and stuff like that.

 

“Look, guys, just think about this, `kay? Three sweaty, hot guys jumping suddenly into the bed of the most prissy, illtempered, gun-carrying, virgin monk in the world? And you think he's gonna open his arms and say, `Come to momma' or somethin'? What, are you crazy? I mean, in the end, he's a damn monk, and we're three dirty, sweaty men!”

 

Hakkai, sublimely calm, smiles at Gojyo, and says, “Oh, but we would bathe first, of course.”

 

Gojyo just slaps his forehead into his palms and groans. He still can't twist his mind away from the fact that he - Sha Gojyo - is actively discouraging an orgy. Never did he think the day would come. There is clearly only one thing to do. Sanzo walks into thebar and spots his ikkou in the far corner, around a small table. As he makes his way towards them, barely noticing the hush in his wake as people point at the robes, he stops. Something is going on. The damn kappa is leaning against the wall- when there are perfectly good chairs lying empty. Then one silky red head dips gracefully, as he leans forward, and picks up a salt shaker, and slides it into the front pocket of his trousers. Damn klepto kappa - what is he - Oh. Oh. Oh, sweet kami. One slender finger slides over the suggestive lump in the pocket, circles the top of the encrusted shaker that is peeking out , and then a pink, wet tongue licks residual salt off the fingertip. Oh, dear gods. Hakkai looks dazed, and one pale white hand flutters at his throat - he looks like he could eat Gojyo whole - and here Sanzo notices Goku, and for a moment, he's furious with the two of them for doing such lovely - filthy things in front of the monkey, till he notices precisely what the monkey is doing with a sausage and a spoon. Sanzo turns on his heel, and bolts. Yes, he's had two baths already, but he needs another. With the bathroom door firmly locked, a nicely lathered bar of soap, and a few accessories to pass the time.