Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Moonlight ❯ Chapter 1

Moonlight

by Xero Sky

Fandom: Saiyuki

Pairing: Hakkai X Sanzo, Hakkai X Gojyo

Warnings: NC17, graphic sex, implied and actual violence, profanity, angst, and 1st person POV. Gojyo POV.

Disclaimer: All copyrights are retained by their original copyright holders. No profit is intended from the work of fan fiction.

Challenge: Jealousy provokes a pair of reluctant lovers into feral sex.

I took another drag off my cigarette and stared up at the moon. It was beautiful, of course, glowing so brightly that the stars around it had disappeared. The night air was full of the scent of the flowering trees planted around the inn's yard.

On another night, in another place, I might have admired the way they'd been placed, giving the yard just the right shade and catching the night breezes to perfume the guest rooms. Despite what some people might think, my eye for beauty extends to most things, even those I can't fuck.

On another night, I might have brought some woman out here. Some village woman who was too ignorant or too lonely to notice that she was being felt up by a half-breed. Someone I would never see again.

On another night, I wouldn't be sitting under this window, listening to the silence in the room behind it.

I stubbed the cigarette out and flicked it away.

They were always too damned quiet.

How could anybody fuck like that?

Honestly, how could Sanzo take some one of Hakkai's size up the ass without even a squeak? That shitty priest was so tight-assed that it had to rip him a new one each time. Although I guess that's the point of it all.

I knew Hakkai was usually louder than that, because I'd personally made the bastard sing.

Maybe not the last time, with pine needles sticking me in the ass and Hakkai so anxious for me that neither of us had gotten our pants down all the way, but even then Hakkai hadn't been completely quiet. By the end, I'd had to clamp my hand over his mouth, and even then he'd made enough noise that Goku's eyes had been open when we snuck back into camp. I'd seen him looking at us for a few moments, probably trying to figure out if there was some threat to Sanzo involved, before the monkey had turned over and gone back to sleep.

There had been other times, though, when I'd played Hakkai like a goddamned instrument, getting whatever sounds I wanted out of him. Until this thing with Sanzo started, I had been certain that Hakkai couldn't keep his mouth shut during sex to save his life. I knew all his sounds by heart.

It wasn't what I'd wanted out of life, exactly.

I love Hakkai like a brother, you know. Not like my actual brother, who may or may not want to gut me like a fish next time he sees me, but like a real friend. Maybe my only real friend. We were doing just fine for a long time there, living together in my apartment, sharing the expenses and everything. I really liked having him there. Somehow he made it feel like home.

If it wasn't for this bullshit save-the-world thing, we probably would never have gotten around to being fuck buddies.

It wore a guy down. We drove until we had to stop. We only had to stop when we ran out of food or someone tried to kill us. A guy had certain needs that weren't really met by either driving or killing stupid people. It was part of being a human male, and definitely part of being a youkai male. Neither of us was quite right as far as the species went, but it was still the same.

There were women along the way. There were always women. I didn't have much problem getting them into my bed, or their bed, or over a table, or wherever. For the most part, that was enough. Hell, sometimes just being near a pretty girl was enough, with the way they smiled and the scent of shampoo in their hair.

Sometimes, though, the needs ran a little darker than that. Sometimes I get a little hungry for something rougher. Maybe it was a youkai thing. Maybe it was just a guy thing. I don't have much to judge by.

Hakkai understood that.

Hakkai didn't go after the women like I did. Most of the time, Hakkai meditated it all away or just jerked off, whichever worked. It wasn't his style to breeze in and hook up with someone for a quick tumble, for one thing. For another, he has problems getting up close and personal with women. He's such a gentleman, but the minute some damsel in distress takes her gratitude a little too far, he freaks out. Politely, of course.

That's Kannan's legacy, I'm sure.

When Hakkai does touch someone, he wants them solid and tough enough to survive being that close to them. I'd say, wow, isn't it convenient that he swings both ways, but, hey, kill a thousand youkai and get a youkai sex drive. One night he shared a room and a bed with me, and the next morning he'd lost his other virginity, courtesy of yours truly. Maybe it's the hair.

The difference between us, of course, is that I'll fuck him even though he's male, and he'll fuck me because I am male. I'm nothing like Kannan. I'm not going anywhere.

If I wanted to be anything more than his occasional fuckbuddy, though, I'd be shit out of luck. Just because he needs me now and then, that doesn't mean he wants to. Hakkai *wants* to be friends, just like we were before all this crap started.

Mostly, I'm good with that.

Hell, my life would be easier if we'd just kept it that way. The sex isn't just good: it's outstanding. I have no complaints about that. Those weird, hovering mornings after, though, with Hakkai being miserably polite and Goku smirking his ass off if one of us is sitting funny, are murder. The monkey can smell it on us, I'm sure, but he never says a word. He's normally about as tactful as a kick in the nuts, though, so I sit there, eating breakfast and waiting for him to say something about it.

I don't care much, but Hakkai does. Hakkai won't talk about it, but he doesn't want anyone to know about the two of us together.

Having your sex partner *hide* what the two of you are doing is not the best feeling in the world. He has his reasons. I think they suck, but I still let it go, because he wants me to.

It'd be easier not to think about sex and Hakkai at the same time. I like women. I lived for them and off them at one point. We understand each other. Every once in awhile I run across some chick who wants more than a fling, but usually there's no problems. No complications.

And, let's be honest, I could be - I fucking *should* be - out there doing it right now. I'm tense and I'm pent up and it would be great to just be a body in a body right now, with no mind to screw everything up. I deserve it as much as anybody.

So why am I here under Sanzo's window again?

Sanzo. Freaking Sanzo.

This is their fifth or sixth time. Or something like that. I notice when it happens, but it's not my business, is it?

Not my business.

They're careful about it, that's for damned sure. They go to great lengths to hide what they've done, even though Sanzo must bitch about it the whole time. They cover their tracks, scrub the scent off their skin, make sure their clothes are clean, hide the evidence, and put on a show. It's a hell of a show, I must admit. If I didn't know Hakkai as well as I do, I wouldn't have caught on.

Of course, this show's not for me.

It's for Goku.

That's right. Because way up high on the list of things this world does not need is Goku catching scent of his precious Sanzo's blood on Hakkai.

Hakkai heals him up afterwards, but some things linger, you know?

I said that things get dark sometimes, and a person starts to want a little taste of something raw, something uncivilized and honest. Something sweet and acid all at once.

That kind of appetite, I understand.

I don't play as rough as Sanzo and Hakkai. Never have. Never will. I don't need to deal out the pain that way, and I sure as fuck don't want to take it. I watched Hakkai carve his name into Sanzo's back one night, just as slowly and carefully as he does anything else, and when he looked up to catch me watching, he smiled his Hakkai-smile and went back to it like I wasn't even there. The next morning Sanzo was as relaxed and happy as that prick will ever get, and Hakkai just kept on smiling. That's as close to that particular mystery as I want to get, thank you very much.

I gotta hand it to Sanzo, though. If you're gonna be a masochist, having a lover who can deliver that much damage and then heal you up the same night has got to be convenient.

As for Hakkai… shit, I don't know.

I don't really know why I'm out here, either. It couldn't be because his High Priestfulness has a room across the courtyard so that he doesn't have to sleep near the rest of us slobs, or that Goku would have to cross right in front of me if he decided to check up on Sanzo. Because, like I said, what goes on between Sanzo and Hakkai is none of my business.

Whatever Hakkai gets out of Sanzo, it has nothing to do with him and me. I've even been with him since the thing between the two of them started up.

Not my business.

Doesn't bother me at all.

My ears caught the very faintest sound from the room on the other side of the window. Pain or pleasure or something else I didn't want to know about.

Bastards.

*****

It didn't take much longer. I didn't speculate on what they were doing, but once I'd felt that weird tingling inside my ears that I sometimes got when Hakkai did his magic lightshow crap, I knew they were done. Sanzo was getting his dick glued back on or whatever, and in a few minutes they'd be all scrubbed up and shiny, ready to pretend it hadn't ever happened.

And I was still outside their window, staring at nothing, when I finally heard the sound of Hakkai's feet on the flagstones as he came around the corner, his hands stuck in his pockets, looking up at the stars and smiling.

He stopped a couple of feet away, as if he was admiring the sky and just happened to get a good view right there next to me.

One of Hakkai's more irritating traits is that he can keep his mouth shut longer than I can. Yeah, I know, it's not much of an accomplishment, but there are times when I want to throttle him for it.

Like right then, when he just kept standing there and staring at the rest of the universe like I wasn't part of it.

"So, you have fun?" I said abruptly, surprising myself.

"No," he said, but he smiled around the word, denying it. Maybe it hadn't been "fun", but he'd enjoyed the hell out of it.

"Pity," I said, taking the last possible drag off my cigarette before flicking the butt out into the grass somewhere. "After all that work."

He looked at me and the moon flashed off his monocle, making it glare at me. "Why are you out here?"

"Keeping an eye out."

"Yes," he said politely, "I imagine Kougaiji's people are always a threat."

"Yeah," I said, stretching out as I stood up. "So is Goku coming over to check on Sanzo while his Holiness is getting ripped open by your dick."

"He didn't, did he?" Concern, partly masked by politeness.

"No." Irritation, not at all covered up by fake disappointment.

"Then perhaps you should mind your own business."

And with that, Hakkai turned his back on me and walked away. It was all in the open now - I knew what was going on, and now he knew that. And his response? He fucking walked away from me.

I wasn't jealous. I didn't care what else he did, or with who. I'm not the jealous type. I'm not.

But he fucking walked away from me, still wearing whatever bruises the priest had managed to put on him, and he didn't look back.

I don't think so.

His sleeve ripped in my hand. I had grabbed hold of his arm, but my fingers slipped down to the cloth and he wouldn't stop until something gave. The sound was loud and unsettling. I think that stopped him more than the fact of my hand on him.

He turned somewhat to look at me. That green eye was remarkably vivid in the darkness. His smile was slight and unfriendly, as if he was anticipating something horrible that he would, nevertheless, enjoy.

"You sure you want to do this, Gojyo?" It was a polite question. Fair enough.

"You got a problem with me?"

"Do you have a problem with me?" he asked in answer, turning all the way around. His stance had changed subtly, gaining tension. I felt myself slip into that headspace, the one that lets me laugh while I kill people. It wasn't right. I shouldn't be doing this with Hakkai, of all people, but it was impossible to stop myself now. It felt good, after sitting there all that time.

"I have a problem if Goku flips out again and goes after you for bleeding his favorite priest," I said. I let go of him but stepped forward, keeping it all up close and personal.

He didn't back down. Hakkai wouldn't.

"Goku's not going to find out anything that doesn't concern him," he said. His eyes belied the calmness of his voice. "Especially if you stop camping outside the window and drawing attention."

"Goku won't find out because of me. He'll find out because he adores that shithead priest, and because one day you'll fuck up. Just a drop of blood, Hakkai," I said, sneering, "and that limiter of his will snap right off again."

"That's not going to happen," he said. "And it's not your business if it does."

It stung, but I wasn't in the mood to lick my wounds. I reached out instead and flicked one of Hakkai's limiters with a fingernail. "Think you can take him, badass?"

I always push too hard. Just the way it is with me.

He had a handful of my shirt before I could react. Hakkai is scary in a lot of ways, and mostly I like that. I'm a scary fucker myself, and we match up pretty good. I didn't really expect him to grab me, though, or to pull me close enough so that when he did speak, he was talking right into my ear.

"Don't tell me it's all about Goku," he said. "How many times have I waited for you, only to have you come back to camp with the stench of some stranger on you?"

"What does that mean?" I hissed back. "What do you care?"

"You can fuck anyone you want to, but I can't?"

"None of my women have brothers that will rip your arms off later!"

Strictly speaking, that probably wasn't true, but it wasn't really a time for splitting hairs, now was it?

He didn't say anything to that. He just reached out and brushed his fingers across my lips, as if he was memorizing them through his fingertips. Then he kissed me. It was soft but demanding, and because he always gets his way, I let him have what he wanted. There was no sense in it, but he smelled good, and…

Yeah, I know.

I pulled back and tried to get my shirt out of his grip, but he wasn't happy about that. He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me closer. In turn, I grabbed hold of his arms, but couldn't seem to decide if I was pushing him away or keeping him still.

"What I do with Sanzo is necessary."

"Yeah?" I snarled at him. "That's a new word for it."

His grip on me got almost painfully tight. "If I don't have *that*, I can't have *you*. This thing… Sometimes I have to… And he wants it. I would never do that to you, but Sanzo… Sanzo *craves* it."

His intensity shook me a little bit, and the way he stumbled over his words was unnerving. Hakkai didn't do that. Words didn't fail him.

We stared at each other and held on to each other, like a painting of two men about to fight. We couldn't stay there, but neither one of us was very good at backing down.

I didn't know what to do.

So I kissed him again, because the alternative was to knee him in the crotch. Now that our blood was up, it had to go one way or the other. What do you want from us? Whoever else we were, we were still guys.

Plus, with all the Sanzo scrubbed off him, Hakkai smelled like pure porn: musky and a little sweet.

God, I'm such a slave to my dick.

He wasn't much better, though. If nailing Sanzo to the floor had taken his edge off, I couldn't tell. He has fine, almost delicate hands for a man, but the bruises were forming already as he let go of my shirt and grabbed my hips, pulling me against him.

I broke the kiss to groan against his neck, feeling the heat roll off him. Hakkai's all lean muscle, like most youkai, and he's strong; he held his ground as I grabbed hold, bit him, and ground my cock up against his. Foreplay is what you make it.

Hakkai's mouth was hot on my throat as he slid his fingers under my shirt, fingernails that were just a little too long leaving faint welts behind. I hissed and let him do it again. He started to lift the shirt up, and maybe it was the cool air that suddenly reminded me of where we were.

The courtyard was dimly lit, but the moon was almost full, and we were standing in its full light. At the very least, Sanzo only had to twitch his curtains aside to get an eyeful.

I'm not shy. I'm cheap. I don't give free shows. There were other reasons, but I can't say I was really thinking about them just then.

"Ha.. unh… kai."

He didn't pay me any mind. I was just the fuckee, after all. He was busy.

"Hakkai, you…"

Nothing.

"Okay, fine." I tripped him. I'm not proud. I shoved his ass over and when he was off balance I pulled him up over my shoulder and carried him towards the trees, towards darkness and some kind of privacy.

He let me take him most of the way there before he got free and asserted himself. I hit the ground pretty soon after that and grunted as his weight crashed down squarely on top of me. My opinion of that vanished as his mouth came down on mine again, forcing me to open to him. I tasted him, I kissed him, I sucked on his tongue and bit at his lips. I wanted him - and I realized I wanted him to want me more than anything or anyone else.

One of my hands shoved down past the tight waistband of his pants to grab his ass, to touch intimate flesh. He was already stripping my shirt off and running his open palms over my skin. Clothing was obsolete at the moment, and was gonna have to go. We were quick, and though a stitch or two might have popped, mostly our stuff ended up intact, in a pile a couple of feet away. Hakkai's monocle topped it off, catching a little moonlight.

It could have been a quickie. Pants around the ankles, mouths around cocks, happiness in 30 seconds or less. What I wanted, though, and what Hakkai seemed to want, was that pure, simple moment of being completely naked with someone else, of pressing flesh and tangling limbs. I wanted to feel him all over me, and he obliged.

Don't let me bullshit you, though. It was sex, of course, but it was also violence. Violence of the best kind, the kind that sends thrills down your spine and straight up your cock; violence that washes you clean. He bit me, and I left a handprint on his ass in payment. We rolled, fighting the old fight for dominance. The winner had an obligation to fuck the loser as he pleased. I usually won.

Tonight, though, I was sadly outclassed. I am a bad-ass motherfucker, and I was horny as hell for him, but he was still charged up from… before. He wanted it more. There comes a point where someone has to give, or else the fucking will be replaced by real fighting. By the time we got there, I didn't care so much anymore, because I was gonna be the center of Hakkai's world for a while whether I won or lost.

The moment came. A second after that, I was on my knees, with Hakkai on top of me and his teeth at the back of my neck. I understood that language just fine, thank you. I snarled a curse, but I lowered my head.

He raked his nails down my back and licked the stinging pain away. He rolled my sack in one hand and stroked me a couple of times with the other. He kissed me and fondled me and left teeth marks in me. All of it, every second of it, was good. I swore at him while he laughed at me, his face buried in my hair, but I was so ready for him I burned.

"Patience," he said in his pleasant, reasonable Hakkai-voice, and I couldn't stand it any more. I threw him off my back, and maybe I could have done something more than that, but there wasn't any time. Something hard and huge slammed into my back, and then I was looking up at him. He was breathing hard, but he grinned down at me as he held me there.

He's handsome. He's so goddamned beautiful sometimes that it can take your breath away.

I didn't do much struggling. Not until he reached down and tweaked the end of my cock. Then he licked his thumb and forefinger clean, making a show of it and smirking at me all the time.

"You son of a bitch!" I growled at him, and tried to buck him off.

"Okay, no more patience," he said, as if he was doing me a favor. I had something to say about that, too, but he leaned down and bit one of my nipples sharply before moving down between my legs.

I'm not exactly human. There are certain advantages to that. I don't want to know exactly what kind of ferocious cock it would take to rip me open during sex. Probably Hakkai could show me, if he took his pretty little earrings off. He didn't, though. Not then. It didn't take much to get me ready for him, and he didn't spend much time on it. I wouldn't have cared by then if he *had* made me bleed.

"Ha-" I managed to growl, impatient, and then he moved and I lost the ability to speak.

So fucking good. He didn't pause, didn't wait. He made me feel him, going in as hard and as deep as he could get, slamming in with enough to make my whole body shake.

Heat, not enough air, the taste of sweat on my tongue, the stretch of tendons as my legs were pushed back and apart by his shoulders, and the teasing feel of my cock sliding against him.

A slow spark and fire as he found my sweet spot. Blood from a hard kiss, sting from a bitten lip, and the sweet, harsh motion of his body, his cock in me.

Words that didn't make any sense. Blood roaring in my ears.

I felt him tense, and he wasn't waiting for me. I shoved a hand between us and palmed my cock as best I could, stroking myself to catch up. My other hand flew up and caught him by the back of the neck, and I made him look at me, made him look into my eyes when I came. He glared at me and bared his teeth before thrusting frantically until he came too, gasping out my name.

My name.

Quiet now, leaving me and not leaving, our arms wrapped around each other. No sweet nothings were whispered, but I ran my fingers through his hair as we stretched out and he lay with his head on my chest. For a long time, that was the only thing either one of us could manage to do.

But you know these things don't last.

He sat up and brushed a hand tentatively across my stomach. My skin twitched a little under his touch, and he pulled back, standing up to put on his clothes. He wasn't looking at me. I sat up and realized that, if I let him, Hakkai would just leave; he'd go back to his room without another word. In the morning, he'd smile at me like always, and we'd just go on.

I could have let him go. In another few weeks he'd be working Sanzo over again, letting the violence drain away until he trusted himself to be with me. Sanzo would be happy, Hakkai would be happy, and me?

"Hakkai." I laid a hand on his arm gently, knowing I'd bruised him everywhere I'd touched him. Even though I couldn't see the marks, I smiled a little, liking that they were there. *My* marks. Feeling possessive, I brushed the hair away from his forehead, smoothing away the lines there. He looked exhausted suddenly, with all his fires gone out.

"Come sleep with me," I said. "My bed."

He frowned, and I could see the thoughts flickering behind his eyes. If we were found in the same bed, Sanzo wouldn't touch him again. His little arrangements depended on secrecy, and on me letting it go on.

"You don't need him," I said. "We'll work you through it somehow."

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said, his voice a rough whisper. He touched my hand, and I felt his power thrumming through my skin suddenly, healing what he'd done to me. In the glow, I saw the pained look in his eyes, and I jerked my hand away, stopping it.

"I can carry my own load, Hakkai. You're not responsible for me, or for him, or for anybody. I know what the terms are. Come with me, and I'll keep you warm," I said, trying not to sound harsh. "You know me. I don't play well with others. I don't share."

What the hell was wrong with me? I started this whole night out by not caring, right? What was I saying?

It was true, though. I didn't want him with Sanzo's stink all over him again. I didn't want seconds, even if he thought he was protecting me. Especially if he thought he was protecting me. I wasn't being naïve, either. He liked what he did to the priest, even if repulsed him too. Bloodlust is one of those things. It's best not to think about it afterwards.

And here I was shoving it into his face, forcing him to make decisions I hadn't even known I needed made.

Fuck.

I backed off and pulled my clothes on, not looking at him just like he wasn't looking at me. I was gonna find some hot water somewhere and forget this. Tomorrow we'd be moving on, probably. Maybe someone would try to kill us. I could use a good assassination attempt right about now. Ah, the simple life.

He didn't go away while I was dressing. He didn't walk off and leave me there. Maybe it was a case of good manners. Maybe he knew it would annoy me. I don't know. But when I pulled my hair out of the back of my shirt and straightened up, he was waiting for me. He, of course, had no leaves in his hair or a sore ass to get settled in cold jeans. He was fucking immaculate.

I glared at him, even though it made me a jerk. He actually smiled at me, the asshole.

"Care for a drink?" he asked neutrally.

"Yes." Something strong enough to peel paint at 100 paces, please. In a 20 gallon drum.

"I've got a bottle of whiskey in my room."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And a queen-size bed."

Well, fuck.

"Sounds good."

He smiled, and, yes, it was Hakkai smiling, but it wasn't a Hakkai-smile, the kind he wore when he was cooking or petting Hakuryuu or watching Sanzo try to beat Goku to death with a fan. It was… shy. I liked that.

I stuck my hands in my pocket and smiled back. What else was I gonna do? It's not like I was really any good at getting rid of him. Ever.

We walked back towards the inn together, not touching, but close enough. The curtains were drawn tight on Sanzo's windows and there were no lights inside. Goku's windows were still dark. Somewhere inside the main building there was laughter. Strange how the world hadn't stopped for us.

I don't know what's going to happen next. I don't know what we'll do the next time he starts feeling the demon inside him waking up. But you know, just then, I wasn't sure I cared. Nothing was certain. Nothing had been certain since the night I found him and refused to help him die. All things considered, the future wasn't looking too good either. But, what the hell. A person's gotta do the best they can with what they've got.

Besides, there was something else on my mind.

"Hakkai?"

"Yes?"

"How the hell did you get a queen-sized bed when I'm practically sleeping on a cot?"

He grinned at me. He'd charmed it out of the innkeeper, of course. They always thought he was so sweet and so polite, especially if they had eligible daughters.

"We could stay in your room, if you like. If your bed's that narrow, you'll have to take the floor, of course."

"What?"

"Well, a proper host would offer his guest the best accommodations…"

"Does that mean I get to be on top in the morning?"

Cho Hakkai, former schoolteacher, former human being, and the only one of the four of us with anything resembling good manners, actually leered at me. While I was standing there in shock, he smacked me in the ass, kissed my mouth, and said "Anything's possible, Gojyo."

I let him walk away, going through the back door into the kitchen. His next words drifted back to me.

"But I wouldn't count on it."

Well, shit, you know I couldn't let him get away with that.

~The End~