Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Never No Answer ❯ I'm damaged as I'm sure you know ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: 'Saiyuki' and all characters being ill-portrayed in the following belong to

Kazuya Minekura. And if you still want to sue, beware: my roommate is the mock

trial team captain! She's ready to fight over that cup of noodles.

Hakkai studied the miserable reflection in the bathroom mirror. Mornings were still not his best hour, not until he managed to wash his face off and actually look decent enough to face the world. He rubbed at his sore and swollen eyes, which one night of solid sleep had done nothing to relieve. Healing Sanzo had almost been the death of him, but Hakkai hadn't dared say so out loud to the rest of the team. They'd all worry far too much if he told them he'd been coughing blood on the drive back from using far too much of his own life force in order to save Sanzo. He was perfectly fine now, so there was no reason to concern anyone, especially not Gojyo or Goku, who would be ridiculously loud about it now with two members in recovery.

Even worse, he would probably have to try to heal Sanzo a second time if the priest didn't show any better signs of recovering soon. The blonde had finally been coherent for several hours and walking around before he passed out yet again, gaining a few more bruises before anyone could catch him. Hakkai knew his sluggish recovery was mostly due to the large and swollen lump on the back of Sanzo's head… And, also because he'd simply been beaten so severely, but Hakkai wasn't about to dwell to long on that. Hakkai would prefer to wait it out and see if Sanzo healed on his own with his survival streak that had to be at least a mile long. The monk should have died seven times over by all fair accounts, but neither human, youkai, nor Gods had let Sanzo slip into the afterlife yet. There was no reason that this would be any different.

Hakkai sighed heavily and Hakuryuu chirped worriedly behind him, its delicate, little wings flapping as the dragon flew around behind him in the bathroom. He supposed Hakuryuu had full reason to be worried about its master looking so ragged and strained in the dull mirror. Sanzo had made a very close call that Hakkai would rather forget, but he knew it would haunt his dreams for nights to come. They had come dangerously close to losing Sanzo, even though Hakkai had been trying his best to save the priest. It had only been a few nights ago, far too fresh in his mind to think about now.

He decided to comb his hair into some sort of order out of a bedraggled tangle rather than think about how he had to pump that thin chest to demand the heart start beating again. Hakkai had discovered a large amount of complimentary soaps and brushes in his room, and was more than ready to use them. Hakuryuu fluttered and cooed every now and then behind him, a white blur in the mirror as Hakkai cranked the handles above the sink. He was pathetically grateful for the hot water, far too used to the remote villages that only had one well in the middle of town.

Soon enough, he looked decent enough to pass as faintly ill instead of half-dead, so Hakkai turned off the faucet and placed the complimentary comb back onto the top of the sink. Thank goodness for Miss Mei. She had provided their room with a clean pair of pajamas and anything else they could have wished for, including toothbrushes. Goku had little appreciation for it, but Hakkai hadn't been able to brush his teeth in days. That was enough to let Hakkai tolerate Miss Mei's overtly flirting smiles and painfully obvious hero worship. He couldn't appreciate a woman who was only looking at his reputation as they passed through this nameless town, unlikely Gojyo, who was more than willing to shamelessly get between the sheets.

Hakkai rubbed irritably at his eyes, his arms and legs numb and tired from overexertion. He wished Sanzo would get better soon, not only because he was a dear friend, but so they could also get moving again as soon as possible. Hakkai didn't like to stay in the same place for too long, almost as little as Sanzo did. It made him dull quickly, the homely life of a small and familiar town always tempting him when they stopped long enough to enjoy the peaceful life.

Hakkai smoothed the front of the borrowed white shirt and hoped that their clothes would finish being mended soon. At least they had clean clothes, but Hakkai felt a twinge uncomfortable and indecent wandering around the place in pajamas. Goku didn't mind and Gojyo couldn't care less if he was wearing anything or not, so there was no one to share the same compliant with but Sanzo…who was probably unconscious right now. It was by far too early in the morning for either Sanzo or Gojyo to be awake.

Goku's empty bed on the other side of their shared room told Hakkai that the boy had probably already gone down to find something to eat for breakfast. That might not be a bad idea, considering how thin Hakuryuu looked right now. It might not be noticeable to anyone else, but Hakkai could tell that the poor little thing was still exhausted from the run through the forest. Hakkai knew that the dragon didn't mind it in the least, more than happy to be of service, but he couldn't help feeling guilty for the lack of weight that had happened in such a short time.

Well, he might as well go down to make sure that Goku didn't eat the whoel inn out of their business. Even though Sanzo was seriousily weakened and barely recovering, Goku wasn't about to let it ruin his appetite or sleep. It was a skill Hakkai was envious of, feeling dead on his feet and the thought of food only slightly upsetting this morning. Hakkai had barely been able to stomach a thing, even though his body desperately needed the nutrition. Sanzo had given Hakkai a scare that was still giving him the shakes. He had never thought that Sanzo would be able to die not once, but twice in a single night. Hakkai would rather forget that nasty incident as soon as possible.

Shaking his head to free himself of such troublesome thoughts, he offered his shoulder for Hakuryuu and the dragon stopped flying around to eagerly settled down. Hakkai had found that a perched pet was accepted much easier than a flying one, even if it was a dragon. Once Hakuryuu settled down into a comfortable position, Hakkai went to the door and ventured out into the hallway.

Surprisingly enough, another patron of the inn blinked at Hakkai as they stepped out of their rooms at the same time. It was a slightly older man with the faintest hint of a belly starting and the pinching of wrinkles in the corner of his eyes. Hakkai nodded pleasantly to the other man as he peered curiously at the creature; most likely trying to decide if Hakuryuu was a bird or a well-trained lizard.

He continued down the hallway with the sound of footsteps following behind him as they both seemed to be going to the same place. Hakuryuu twisted its long and slender neck around to chirp at this new stranger in confusion. That, of course, earned them a gasp and the footsteps came to a dead stop while Hakkai went to the stairs at the end of the hall. People didn't seem to want to get friendly with the owner of a dragon, no matter how small it was.

Hakkai could hear Goku's loud voice long before he even entered the main dining room at the bottom of the stairs. He was probably already causing trouble, even though it was rather early in the morning. Hakkai had a smile on to greet the usual scene of Goku stuffing his face with what looked to be eggs, and with a large amount of empty plates and bowls stacked up around him. The boy didn't even notice Hakkai as he entered; concentrating on finishing off what was left of the meal on the table while the sparse morning crowd stared.

As usual, all the other patrons stopped what they were doing to glance at the newcomer. Hakkai hated the reputation that spread long before they even had a chance to show up. He could only hope that Goku and Sanzo would be able to keep from destroy the place as they did every inn and town that crossed their path. It was a predictable result with youkai hunting them since day one no matter where they traveled, but even so, Hakkai wished they could leave at least a single building standing for once.

What was even less expected was that Sanzo was sitting down as well, cigarette lit up and smoking before he'd even had breakfast. Gojyo smiled and waved at Hakkai to come to their table, in a light yellow shirt that he was sure Gojyo was not happy with. Sanzo was in a white shirt was that two sizes too big, but thankfully managed to hide most of the bandages underneath except for a few noticeable bulges on his arms. Sanzo looked like death rolled over, though that was what he looked like most of the time anyway with such pale skin and bad temper. Today seemed particularly bad with the harsh bruises under Sanzo's eyes and the way his cheeks had hollowed out.

Yet, Sanzo had never cared about his looks before. Only Gojyo and himself seemed to have any appreciation for that delicate complexion despite the fierce mouth and the Smith and Wesson. Sanzo would have a bullet for both of them if he ever caught wind of it. Hakkai wouldn't even have the chance to explain that it was pure aesthetic value, since a relationship with Sanzo was pure suicide. Goku was the only one Sanzo tolerated…didn't outright hate out of all of them- he corrected himself quickly- and Hakkai still didn't understand why. Goku seemed to get the most curses, glares, and hit with a fan directed his way more than anyone, except Gojyo.

"…kkai!" Goku greeted happily around a full piece of toast crammed in his mouth. Hakkai could see the vein popping on Sanzo's forehead from across the table as the blonde sat with a deceiving calmness. A cigarette was hanging between his lips on the opposite side of his mouth where a small strip of medical tape was just starting to peel off. Sanzo's eyes were closed and a half-empty cup of coffee was the only thing in front of the priest. Beyond the furrowing of his brows, Hakkai would have thought he was dead. Sanzo hadn't eaten anything again, typical of Sanzo to skip breakfast the first day he had woken up coherent and able to walk unassisted. Hakkai knew better than to mention that though, since he enjoyed his body parts all together the way they were now.

"Good morning, Goku," Hakkai returned, mustering up the energy to sound cheerful somehow as he took the last empty seat between the boy and Gojyo. Hakuryuu dug its small sharp claws into his shirt for a moment to keep balanced until he nodded to the redhead as Gojyo only shrugged back in response, not about to exchange pleasantries this early in the morning. In fact, Hakkai would venture to say that Gojyo looked even worse than he did. At least the taller man had the remains of a meal on his plate, sprinkled with a few crumbs or small pieces of the crust along with the yellow smear of eggs. Hakkai wondered just how late he had slept in if they had already finished eating. He hoped they didn't start to suspect how exhausted he was.

"Sanzo, you look well," Hakkai ventured, knowing it was unwise to greet Sanzo in the morning when he was recovering but trying anyway. Sanzo tended to get a bit…volatile after he mended from any sort of serious wound, though it was Sanzo's ego that had taken the heaviest blow. Hakkai could understand why the man might have a bit of a wounded pride, but there was certainly no need to threaten the most painful murder possible when someone said 'good morning.'

A grunt told Hakkai to stop efforts at conversation more clearly than words ever could from Sanzo. Hakkai shrugged, rather used to everyone's sour moods that happened every now and then. They all had certain burdens to carry around, and sometimes it got to be too much. It was only reasonable to expect someone to get a little flustered. Only Sanzo seemed determined to make everyone feel as miserable as he did about this trip. Sanzo may be a High Priest, but he would never be called any sort of saint.

"Oh, good morning, Hakkai," Miss Mei's high voice scratched at his ears and a hand landed on his other shoulder. Hakuryuu peeked up over Hakkai's head and hissed territorially, which earned them a startled scream as the girl jumped back in surprise. Even though she had seen the little dragon before, Hakkai supposed it still took some getting used too. He couldn't say that he didn't appreciate the discomfort Hakuryuu caused either as he shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably.

Her scream had been enough to make the entire common room quiet as all the other guests stared at the commotion. Hakkai grinned politely to the unsettling attention, far too used to being gawked at to be ruffled now. Hakuryuu huffed close to his ear, obviously not understanding why Mei had been so frightened at his little warning. Hakkai smiled apologetically to the creature, knowing that the dragon didn't mean any harm.

"Sorry about that, Miss Mei. But, could I bother you for some breakfast as well?" Hakkai asked cordially. "Please," came as an after thought when he realized he might have been a touch too rude. Miss Mei's pale face broke out into a weak smile as she nodded and sidestepped around their table, her eyes fastened to Hakuryuu the whole time. Her relatively calm exit caused the rest of the room to look about at each other before grudgingly turning their attention back to their own meals and conversations.

"Mmm? Hakkai, what the hell did you do?" Gojyo asked in a tired voice as the red eyes slowly opened to blink around in confusion. Hakkai rolled his eyes away from the man, because he knew it wasn't even worth explaining right now. Sure enough, Gojyo slumped forward and was lightly drowsing again. There was no way he could carry on decent conversation this early in the morning.

"Goku, how are you doing?" Hakkai asked for lack of anyone else to talk to. The boy paused in the middle of putting a muffin in his mouth, blinking like he was caught committing a crime. There was a small silence where Goku chewed his mouthful carefully, for once remembering the manners Sanzo had beat into the boy. Sanzo opened up one violet eye at the quietness to study the boy.

"I had the best dream last night that there were these huge pork buns were attacking us and I had to eat them all," Goku rush out enthusiastically, making a large circle with his arms to show the size of these dream pork buns. Sanzo snorted scornfully at that, a large cloud of grey-blue smoke drifting up as the blonde began to smoke with vigor. The ridiculousness of it was enough to wake Gojyo up with a small, badly-hidden bout of the giggles.

"What are you laughing at, stupid kappa?" Goku demanded angrily as Gojyo shook his head and laughed only harder at the reaction. Sanzo grimaced at the noise, obviously becoming angrier as Goku started to growl and make fists at the dining table. Hakkai groaned, wishing that not every morning had to start out with a huge fight between the two.

"You…you dumb…ass ape," Gojyo wheezed out, pausing in smoking to point at Goku. The ape's face reddened and the boy shot up out of his chair with a fist raised. Gojyo immediately sobered up and sat up straight in his chair, more than ready to take on a fight now that he was wide awake and ill-tempered. Hakkai sighed, glancing around the common room that hadn't stopped staring at them now that those two were causing a commotion, yet again. Why couldn't they ever behave themselves in public?

"Shut the fuck up!" Sanzo barked, slamming a hand down on the table hard enough to make all the plates and silverware rattle. Hakuryuu squeaked in fear and hunched behind Hakkai's head, hoping to hide from the priest's fury that even it had learned to be afraid of. Sanzo glared at them all with his teeth bared as he spat out the remains of the filter from his cigarette with unerring aim onto Gojyo's plate.

"What the hell did you do that for, you moody little bitch?! We save your thin ass from every single youkai that wants to eat it and all you do is piss on us!" Gojyo snapped right back, which was not a wise thing to say at all when in public. Sanzo's pupils sunk a focused rage and Hakkai knew that if he didn't do something quick, the priest was likely to tear all of that tender and healing scar tissue. He wasn't sure if it would be any good at all as Sanzo reached down for the gun that thankfully wasn't there.

"Ah, Sanzo, your gun will be ready by today," Hakkai announced as he held up a hand in front of the infuriated expression, suddenly reminded. The Smith and Wesson had needed to be taken to a shop after being soaked in the river along with its owner. Thankfully they had found a man who was more than willing to do work on the legendary High Priest Genjo Sanzo's gun and had promised Hakkai a speedy repair.

"Stay the fuck out of this, Hakkai," Sanzo snapped over at him with eyes that were promising death. "I'm going to kill you, you half-breed bastard," Sanzo swore, his eyes narrowing with the promise to Gojyo over Hakkai's hand. Wasn't he supposed to be wounded right now? Shouldn't Gojyo have the slightest amount of respect for the fact that Sanzo was alive and well right now after almost dying only a few days ago? Hakkai glared openly at Gojyo, siding with Sanzo for this little spat, even though he usually tried to stay detached from these arguments.

"I'm so damn sick of that line by now, Sanzo," Gojyo sneered in the front of Sanzo's anger despite the crowd that they had gained the rapt attention of. There wasn't a set of eyes in the house that wasn't staring at their table in astonishment. Sanzo and Gojyo didn't even seem to mind, but Hakkai could tell that they had noticed the sudden interest and weren't pleased with it. They were too busy glaring across the table at each other hard enough to cause sparks to fly.

"Gojyo, please, we're trying to eat breakfast," Hakkai let a bit of ice slip into his voice, the warning hanging clear in the air. Gojyo glanced away from Sanzo's staring match to take a good look at Hakkai's expressionless face. He didn't have to look angry to get the point across. Gojyo swallowed and scratched the back of his neck guiltily. Hakkai supposed he should be happy with that, knowing it was the best sort of resolution he could hope for.

"Shouldn't you be finding some slut who'll spread her legs for you right about now?" Sanzo growled out irritably at Gojyo as a plate slammed down in front of Hakkai. Toast, eggs, and burned sausage spun to slow stop on the table. He blinked up from the presentation in confusion at Miss Mei's flushed face as she glared at them all. It vaguely felt like being caught doing something bad by the nuns when Hakkai had been much, much younger.

"If you could please keep that out of my inn," she hissed in a thankfully small voice for just their table. She had enough sense to be aware of the whole common room listening intently to their conversation. Besides, Hakkai couldn't think what the consequences might be if Mei had lectured Sanzo in public. She was too nice of a girl to die young. Once again, Hakkai was grateful the gun was safely out of reach, being repaired in the shop a few buildings down.

"Oh, they're just fighting. Please, don't mind anything they say," Hakkai laughed before Sanzo or Gojyo had a chance to say anything. It wouldn't do to get thrown out of the place before they had their clothes returned. Miss Mei looked down at Hakkai as she stood close to his shoulder, her angry expression softening for him. Hakkai smiled back with a little less enthusiasm, wishing that she hadn't chosen him out of the bachelors in their group.

Hakuryuu chirped before launching off of Hakkai's shoulders and landing gracefully next to Miss Mei's hand by his plate. Hakkai couldn't blame the little dragon since sausage was its favorite, but once again Mei drew in a short breath and launched back from the white reptile with a mangled squeal. Hakuryuu didn't even mind as it reached down with a long and slender neck to snatch up a sausage between delicate but sharp teeth.

"Miss Mei, I assure you that Hakuryuu is completely harmless," Hakkai told her in an apologetic voice, feeling a bit guilty for her pale face. Miss Mei nodded weakly, but it was obvious that she didn't believe him yet. He supposed that a miniature dragon could look a little frightening, but Hakuryuu was as docile as any house cat.

"Yeah, Jeep wouldn't hurt anyone! You should watch out for Gojyo instead, Mei!" Goku suggested before shoving the last muffin into his mouth. A fist slammed down on the top of the poor boy's head and his mouthful popped right back out as Goku gagged and clamped two hands over his hair. Gojyo sat back in his chair, openly snarling at the other customers as they stared at his violence with the kid.

"That hurt! See, see? Gojyo's a lot worse than some dragon," Goku whined, rubbing his head fiercely. Miss Mei smirked at that and raised a hand to her mouth to hide the laughter. Gojyo growled at the insult and shook another fist in Goku's face threateningly. Hakkai grinned at it all; for once a real smile was gracing his face instead of the usual mask. Goku reminded Hakkai of the students in the first class he'd taught, if a bit more violent.

"Would all of you just shut- the- fuck- UP?!"

Sanzo's irritated roar rang out through the entire building and likely the rest of the town. Every living creature within a mile must have gone silent then, not even the wind daring to blow against the windows. A set of dangerous but beautiful violet eyes glowered at them all, a strange and rare color for such an ill-dispositional man. Sanzo didn't care what kind of commotion he made, as long as everyone was quiet.

"If…If you'll excuse me, then," Miss Mei stammered in a thin, light voice before sidestepping away from the table and fleeing to the kitchen. The other men and women sitting at their tables looked around to each other, having no such excuse to leave the room. Conversation started up again reluctantly along with the dull clang of silverware as people resumed eating. Hakkai sighed, still able to feel embarrassed after all this time if only out of a sense of politeness. He'd long forgotten humiliation after being in Goku, Gojyo, and Sanzo's respective company for little over a year now.

Goku started to eat again, slowly working on a muffin as he warily watched Sanzo. Hakuryuu blinked with two, small, red eyes before working on the last of its sausage as well. Those two were not about to let their appetites be ignored because of the usually irritable priest that had finally snapped and was positively fuming now. The priest closed his eyes in irritation before leaning back in the chair and rubbing the bridge of his nose with his long, slender fingers. Sanzo wasn't even supposed to be out of bed right now, and he was arguing with anything stupid enough to open its mouth to boot.

"Way to scare the living shit out of the locals, Sanzo," Gojyo complimented sarcastically. Really, Gojyo was the only one dumb enough to keep provoking Sanzo when it was obvious he should leave things alone. Hakkai calmly picked up his fork as the priest swatted Gojyo so hard on the back of his head that the poor man had to be seeing stars. Sanzo had enough right to be allowed another slap as Hakkai unfolded his napkin and laid it out on his lap.

"Gojyo, please try to restrain yourself at the table. I just want to have a nice meal for once," Hakkai stressed the last part, narrowing his eyes so that Gojyo would know exactly what he was talking about. This was the one and only warning that the man would get before Hakkai would no longer be able to restrain himself as well. Usually Sanzo did a good enough job punishing Gojyo own his own, but the priest was injured now, after all.

"Fine, whatever, let's all pretend Sanzo is a nice guy," Gojyo snapped back, going down for once instead of screaming his innocence to high heaven like usual. Hakkai caught Gojyo as red eyes fastened onto Sanzo when the priest wasn't looking, concerned and staying for far too long. Something wasn't normal between the two, but since Sanzo was no longer in any danger of dying in the middle of the night from the cold, he could get Gojyo his own room. He knew the redhead would appreciate that and was probably the root of Gojyo's moodiness this morning.

Hakkai shrugged, deciding that there was nothing else he could do to change the atmosphere at the table. Sanzo had already effectively ruined it by yelling earlier. Now, everyone in the whole room was nervous of making the slightest noise, some trying to glance over surreptitiously, but were only more painful obvious for it. Hakkai wished that they didn't have to be the center of attention when they were simply eating, but there was no helping it. The rumors surrounding their names were enough to be treated like near gods; and Sanzo always managed to do a good job instill the fear of one into poor common folk.

"I think every meal is nice," Goku announced with them with a look of honest confusion on his face, covered with crumbs from his third helping. Goku just didn't understand how a sour mood was supposed to work, effectively breaking Sanzo's authoritive silence with his pure naivety. Even Gojyo laughed out loud despite Sanzo's warning glare. Hakkai shrugged and smiled, pulling out his napkin to lie down in his lap. He was more than ready to eat after giving so much of his life force to Sanzo earlier, as well as plain exhaustion. He had to recover, and eating was always the best option.

"See? Why do you have to always ruin a perfectly good meal, you damn monk?" Gojyo teased at the worst time, despite the look Hakkai shot his way. He even mouthed 'shut up' to the oblivious kappa who went on to lean closer to Sanzo with his elbow on the table. Sanzo's eyes narrowed on the half-empty cup of coffee in front of him, once again skipping breakfast. If there had been a plate in front of him, Hakkai was sure the monk would have already sent it up into Gojyo's face. He grimaced at the fighting, unable to deal with the everyday occurrence of the blonde skipping another meal and smile like nothing was wrong. Sanzo should be especially careful about eating properly after recovering from such an assault, but he was always so damn stubborn. Hakkai didn't understand it, since the priest was always extremely sensitive about his weight, more than prone to draw on the fool who mentioned his slender size. Only Goku would dare say that Sanzo was too skinny and still be left standing at the end of the sentence.

"Come on, Sanzo! You never eat, that's why you're so thin and tired," Goku argued, picking up an untouched bowl of rice from his own meal and shoving under Sanzo's upturned nose. Violet eyes widened dangerously and a vein bulged in Sanzo's forehead as if the monk was about to implode. Hakkai waited for the usual explosion of curses and fan to come out and Goku to be a mess of bruises.

Surprisingly enough, it was pure silence that met the food offered. For some reason, that was even worse. Gojyo actually snickered, unable to hold in his humor when it was very inappropriate. Hakkai turned to snap at the man before Gojyo's words could arouse Sanzo's anger, but winced and froze at the scrape of Sanzo's chair as the priest stood up slowly. Dangerously. It was already too late to try doing any damage control on this one.

His movement was enough to make a fearful, quiet ripple throughout the room as the other patrons trying to enjoy their breakfast went into a hush. Sanzo's eyes were dark shadows underneath his bangs, but Hakkai could tell that he was now in a rare mood…certainly beyond any usual fury that took the blonde of late. It was amazing Sanzo was even holding his restraining himself at all, but it was like looking at the eye of the storm.

"I'd like to see a youkai try to get a decent meal out of his skinny ass," Gojyo said to no one in particular, but Hakkai was sure he meant for Sanzo to hear. The monk was out of the front door of the inn and into the street before Hakkai could even get a word in. Goku stared after Sanzo, the rice forgotten in his hand as the front door slammed shut. A hushed murmur started up after that, no doubt everyone talking about them.

"Where do you think he's off to now?" Gojyo wondered out loud as he picked up a piece of toast and stated chewing on it without concern, still smiling at his latest joke. Hakkai managed to pull himself away from Sanzo's exit and back to Gojyo in disgust, the precious seconds giving the monk more time to get away. He was still far from full health and was more than likely to pass out from walking too far before Sanzo calmed down enough to head back. It was rare for Sanzo to storm out, but when he did, it meant a long time before civil conversation could be attempted.

"It's not funny, Gojyo. Wherever it is, he doesn't have the sutra or his gun," Hakkai snapped irritably, his voice loud enough to seem like he was screaming in the quiet gossip going through the common room. Gojyo's face seemed to fall at that as he stared back at Hakkai in sudden realization. Of course Sanzo was in no shape to walk around the town by himself, not after being in bed for the past several days. No matter what the priest would like them to believe, he wasn't any sort of super human that could bounce back from such injuries. Nothing had healed yet beyond what Hakkai had forced to, despite using herbs and medical lotions from the local doctor.

"I'll go get him," Goku offered merrily, even though it meant leaving a meal behind. The boy was more than happy to trot after Sanzo, but Hakkai doubted that he'd be able to bring the monk back. Goku would do what Sanzo wanted without a single complaint, because in the end they all knew where the boy's only true loyalty laid. Hakkai didn't really want to chase Sanzo down so they could have an argument in the middle of the street as the blonde loved to do. He pursed his lips, but figured it would be the best instead of worrying about Goku and Sanzo being alone together after such a blow-up.

"I don't think you'll want to get in Sanzo's way right now, Goku," Hakkai wanted quietly, glaring over at Gojyo purposely. The man just had to be aware of how badly he had pissed off Sanzo. Gojyo's brow twitched and that scornful smirk on his face faded away as he realized he was in serious trouble.

"Sit down, ape. I'll get the bitchy priest," Gojyo ordered as he stood up before Goku could and dropped his napkin beside his own plate. Hakkai opened his mouth to protest but Gojyo was already walking away from the table as well. The rest of the common room was staring at them, dozens of strangers completely absorbed in their conversation. It wouldn't do to yell across the room in front of a rapt audience.

"I suppose it's just you and me then," Hakkai tried to sound happy about it, but he was more worried about Gojyo running off after Sanzo. He better be ready to get on his knees and apologize to Sanzo, because that would be the only way he could manage to get the blonde to even stay in the same room with him. The younger man had already walked out on breakfast because of the redhead. Sanzo could be very stubborn, especially when it came to his sensitive pride. Hakkai had yet to figure out just what made Sanzo so angry all the time, but he would hazard to guess it was everything. Gojyo had a way to make it all worse though, finding every button to push. Hakkai had tried to talk to him about it once and only got a cold and extremely drunk shoulder.

Goku said something back, but Hakkai couldn't catch it through the food shoved in the boy's mouth. The last time they had accidentally left Goku behind when youkai had attacked, a house had burned down. Besides, if he was going to stay with Goku, that meant eating. Still, it didn't put Hakkai at ease in the slightest. If anything, he was even more worried about Sanzo killing Gojyo. Now that the redhead was chasing after Sanzo, it was lucky for Gojyo that the priest wasn't armed when the man caught up. Sanzo had been very touchy the past few days when he had actually been conscious, even more so than the usual abrasive attitude. It was no small wonder either after how badly mauled he had been when Gojyo and he had found Sanzo.

Goku slurped down the rest of the noodles he had been working on, completely oblivious to Hakkai's dark thoughts. The only small blessing was that Goku hadn't seen Sanzo before they had a chance to heal and cover up the worst of it. There was no doubt in Hakkai's mind that Goku would have gone berserk if he had stumbled in on the scene Hakkai had found when they had finally tracked Sanzo down again. Despite wishing to forget it all, he couldn't help but stare down at his hands in wonder as he recalled saving Sanzo's life several times all those nights ago.

* * *

Hakkai's first clue that something was wrong was when he heard Goku scream out Sanzo's name. He couldn't look immediately, but slammed the edge of his palm into the chin of the youkai coming at him with a large tree branch. The youkai howled in pain and dropped the stick to clutch at his face in pain. Hakkai didn't let it stop there since these youkai were much more feral than the ones they usually ran across. This might just even be a tribe of youkai who regularly attacked people traveling the road. It was even more reason to bury his fist in the youkai's stomach hard enough to feel the lower ribcage crack inside its body.

The youkai was falling to the ground as Hakkai swung around to search frantically for Sanzo. Goku wouldn't have cried out for him unless something horrible had happened. Sanzo was in trouble right now, that much was obvious as Goku scrabbled in the snow, his boots sinking further with each step. Hakkai scanned the small battlefield they had made out of this dead-end to see a large splash in the river and the glimpse of a familiar blonde head going under the water, far beyond Hakkai's reach. All he could think of was how cold the river was in this snow-covered forest, that Sanzo couldn't swim, and that he had to stop Goku from jumping into the currents after the priest.

"Goku, stop!" Hakkai cried out as he darted forward, narrowly missing a sword wielded by a far more competent youkai than the other one. There was no end to the things as more poured out from the trees to the nice little trap they had made. Hakkai had no intention of wasting time fighting, only concentrating on getting forward to cut Goku off as the boy continued to run with his mind likely set on diving in after Sanzo without heed for Hakkai's yell.

ASanzo! Sanzo!" Goku screamed at the edge of the water. Hakkai managed to grab a hold around Goku's wrist protector and swing the boy back away from the edge of the riverbank encrusted with icicles. Snow dusted up as Goku flew face-forward in the opposite direction of the river and Sanzo. Hakkai wouldn't have two drownings on his hands today. Goku could only stumble and regain his balance to swirl back on Hakkai, regardless of the youkai screaming as they rushed down the hill for them.

"Hakkai! What hell was that for?!" Goku roared as he summoned the nyoi-bo back into his hands without meaning to use it on a single youkai. Hakkai was no longer a friend for keeping Goku from saving Sanzo, even though the boy didn't see that Hakkai was only trying to save him from drowning. He could tell there was real anger in Goku's innocent, golden eyes this time, oblivious to the fact that he could just as easily die from the cold or swallowing too much water in the river.

Or from youkai that would attack two idiots foolish enough to stand around and argue when a small army was charging at them. Hakkai couldn't give Goku an answer immediately, but had to strike out at the youkai coming up from behind the boy. He fired out a blast of chi, pretty sure that Gojyo was to the left as youkai howled and screamed, caught up in the blue-white blow of pure willpower. Even Goku whistled appreciatively, despite the fact that Sanzo was drifting further downstream as they stood there.

"Goku, we can follow along the river for Sanzo, but we have to defeat these youkai first," Hakkai rationalized even though it hurt. He didn't want to fight through this army of undeveloped monsters while Sanzo was likely drowning. Hakkai had already resuscitated Sanzo on two separate occasions, neither of which he cared to recall in any great detail. The blonde didn't even know how to swim and was notorious for swallowing water. Despite being tough as nails, Sanzo was human after all. His body didn't do well in extreme chills- like an icy river in the middle of winter, for example. It wouldn't do for the legendary group of four traveling to the West to turn tail and run either, even if it was to save Sanzo.

Goku's eyes narrowed for once as he faced off with the youkai rushing forward on the blackened path Hakkai had cut through the snow on the ground. Hakkai didn't have to do a thing but watch as Goku rushed forward with a wordless roar, already forgetting his anger at Hakkai to go kill the youkai responsible for delaying him from running after Sanzo. Goku's protectiveness of Sanzo was frightening, but how could it not be when the boy owed his entire life to Sanzo? It hurt Hakkai just as much to not run down the side of the river where Sanzo should be. The distant terror of him actually drowning was enough to make Hakkai's insides twist in nervousness.

He heard the clang of the shaku-jyo against metal and swirled to see several youkai fall down to the snow like broken dolls with their strings cut. Gojyo spun the metal staff above his head with both arms and a strange, calm smile on while youkai were screaming as arms and legs were cut off, throats and stomachs sliced open all around him. Hakkai didn't know what to say as Gojyo changed the path of the chain with a flick of his wrists to kill more youkai without any effort at all. He couldn't believe the sheer number of large youkai waiting in the trees for their comrades to fall before rushing them. Didn't they see it was a lost cause? There was no way these hulking youkai could defeat them, even without Sanzo.

Hakkai didn't have time to sit around an appreciate Gojyo's technique as more youkai came at him with weapons and bare claws. It was a female youkai this time, who was howling mindlessly as she rushed him wearing only a stained and ripped dress. Hakkai sidestepped her rush and spun to land the edge of his palm into the back of the youkai's neck. She fell heavily, knocked unconscious as she fell to the snow. Hakkai had a soft spot for females and always tried to avoid killing them, except when it was absolutely necessary. It was yet another pathetic weakness that Sanzo didn't comment on a lot, thankfully. Well, at least not as badly as Sanzo criticized Gojyo's weakness for women.

Hakkai looked up again to find most of the large, hairy youkai were staring at the small boy as he rushed forward screaming with the intent to kill. Goku managed to get in between their ranks before any of the youkai could react to that speed, effectively blocking any blast Hakkai could make with chi. The boy didn't care though, only yelled wordlessly as he slammed the nyoi-bo into the gut of the closest youkai. The female choked loudly enough for Hakkai to hear across the river back. She put one shaking hand around the staff in disbelief that it was coming from the middle of her stomach, not ready to accept the fact she was dying. Goku only had to twist before she exploded, the body sizzling up and crumbling into a dusty pile of ash before she even had a chance to scream.

That move seemed to change the mood of the youkai unlucky enough to be surrounding Goku right now. Hakkai lowered the hands he had unconsciously put up to fire off a blast of his own life force, seeing that there was really no use for his help right now. Goku swung his nyoi-bo into the side of the demon's face and caught it on the ear. Goku snapped the staff back so fast it whistled through the air before slamming into the other side of the youkai's face, this time more on the mouth. Blood flew out from the youkai's lips before Goku ducked and rushed a youkai who only tried to turn tail and run away. The nyoi-bo cracked into the back of the demon's skull without any hesistation, killing it just as surely as if he had made the demon explode, slumping to the ground in a lifeless heap.

Well, it was enough to assure Hakkai that Goku wouldn't be running off to jump in the river after Sanzo, too angry to do anymore than beat the youkai to death instead of chasing his beloved monk. Hakkai moved in to catch the youkai that had been staring at Goku's sudden explosion of violence as intently as he was. The first one he found was a good foot taller than him, but it meant nothing when the dumb beast was staring forward into space. He slammed the back of his fist against the back of its head, sending the youkai down into the snow, motionless with shock.

That caught the attention of the youkai nearer to him, and Hakkai smiled politely as he went to greet them warmly, like he'd promised before. It was the same sort of brawl that they found themselves caught in just about everyday since they entered the Western lands. They were all rather used to it, but the fear for Sanzo's life made Hakkai's hands shake even as he broke wrists and ribs of youkai stupid enough to get close to him. It deadened him to the trail of moaning and crippled demons that he left behind, because the more time he wasted with them, the better chance they had of finding a dead and frozen priest.

It continued on without any change in the tactics, with the number of youkai ready to take other's places seeming inexhaustible. It wasn't until Hakkai was breathing raggedly with his breath burning in his throat and covered in sticky youkai blood that it seemed like there were no more demons waiting in the trees and fog. His legs were shaking from using a little too much chi to enhance his own moves or simply blow youkai away in mass numbers. He supposed it was like how Sanzo used his own sutra, except he didn't have the spiritual strength that Sanzo did. He was only focusing on fighting, not at all like the purifying forces that Sanzo dealt with. It didn't take out significant numbers like the monk's could.

Gojyo was finishing off the last few youkai that were staying to fight, not swinging the chain, but using the shaku-jyo as a quarterstaff to cut through the youkai. He was covered in his own fair amount of blood, but that cocky smile told Hakkai that it wasn't Gojyo's. The taller man was panting hard, but Hakkai could tell he was pleased even from this distance. Goku and Gojyo probably didn't even think of this as more than the usual amount of exercise. There hadn't been a strong youkai like Kougaiji or the others to fight, but the sheer numbers had made them lose valuable time.

"Goku, that's enough!" Hakkai cupped his hands around his mouth and bellowed out, figuring that the remaining youkai should be afraid enough to run from them. The ground was literally covered with bodies almost as abundant as the snow. Hakkai hoped his shout was loud enough to be heard over the clang of fighting and Goku's shouts. He spotted Goku spinning to slam the heel of his boot into the skull of a youkai twice his size. There was a frightening grin on Goku's face as the demon fell to the ground and he finished it off with a well-placed blow from the nyoi-bo.

"You dumbass ape, we have to go after Sanzo!" Gojyo yelled out with more desperation than Hakkai would have expected from him. There was worry written all over the man's scarred face as he released his hold on the shaku-jyo. Instead of falling to the ground, the long weapon simply disappeared in a cloud of smoke, sent back to whatever place Gojyo summoned it from. Hakkai wasn't sure of the details, and it seemed too personal a question to ask about in casual conversation.

Gojyo's words seemed to do the trick, however, because Goku didn't chase after the youkai that were screaming now in fear as they ran back from wherever they had come. The smile dropped as well as the fighting stance Goku was holding, allowing Hakkai to breathe a sigh of relief. There had been such tension in the air, a pure terror of Goku going berserk because Sanzo had fallen in the river that left his mouth dry. They were lucky this time, which seemed to be rarer and rarer these days.

Goku came jogging up to Hakkai while Gojyo walked the distance, red eyes locked on the river the entire time. So, Gojyo could feel a bit responsible for a man he fought with daily after all. This occasion seemed more terrifying than any time before, the image of Sanzo's frozen corpse sickeningly vivid in his mind. Hakkai didn't like the worry that had taken root in the base of his stomach while his own heartbeat pounded frantically in his chest. He wasn't tired from the fighting, not at all. Hakkai licked his lips, never liking this feeling of morbid anticipation. They had to find Sanzo soon to ease Hakkai's own mind.

He had to calm down first though, since Gojyo and Goku's eyes were boring into his with unblinking concentration. They were waiting from him to say something, automatically voted leader in the absence of Sanzo by the pair. Hakkai gritted his teeth and smiled while his mind raced. Hakuryuu in its vehicular form would likely both break the ice and fall into the river if they followed along the side, or they would be going so fast they could miss the signs of Sanzo crawling out. If they just ran along downstream, eventually they would come across a path. Thankfully, the weather was on their side for once with a fresh sheet of snow to track in if need be. It also meant Sanzo would freeze faster.

"Goku, can you jump across the river and take the other side of the bank?" Hakkai ordered with a pleasant smile on his face, as if this was no more than a complex game of hide and go seek. Only, in this snow, the main player could end up dead if they didn't reach Sanzo in time. Hakkai could only hope that the man had been able to get out of the river by himself, because there was little hope if the priest had been in the water the whole time. A human wouldn't last long in a freezing cold river very long. They would need to find any trace of Sanzo getting out, but the river was a good several yards long. Hakkai knew he wouldn't be able to make that distance, but Goku had always been the most athletic of them all.

He pivoted to listen to Goku's answer, but found himself facing dead air. The path beyond him had become a bloody mess of disturbed snow, scorch marks, and corpses. Goku wasn't standing where he should be, but only Gojyo with one eyebrow raised in confusion as he paused in the middle of lighting the cigarette in his mouth. Hakkai kept looking with a sigh; just in time to see Goku take a running start and blow past him before Hakkai could even yell at him to be careful. The river might actually be wider than it was, considering the ice that had built up on the side.

Goku launched himself and was sailing through the air in a wild sort of grace, legs and arms splayed out as he hurtled over the rushing water. The boy landed hard on the icy opposite bank before his boots slipped and Goku stumbled to an awkward sprawl on his knees. There was a loud crash, but Goku didn't even make a single noise. Hakkai sighed in relief that at least the boy had fallen forward instead of back into the river. Gojyo tisked at the awful jump, but Hakkai could tell that the man was relieved Goku hadn't fallen into the water. Gojyo worried more about the boy than he would ever let anyone know and had made Goku into a little brother with all the bickering included.

"Goku, be sure to yell if you see something," Hakkai reminded him with a loud voice to be heard over the rushing water. Goku waved his hand without his usual goodbye before he started off at a run through the thick snow. Gojyo cursed and spat out the barely smoked cigarette to the white, wet ground before taking off to match Goku's speed. Sanzo was already worrying Hakkai enough to take a few years off his life, but to lose Goku as well in this forest would be a little more than Gojyo or Hakkai could take care of.

"Hakuryuu," Hakkai called out to the messy and smoking fight they had left behind. Nothing was moving beyond a few youkai that hadn't died yet. Perhaps he had been a little light in fighting today? Well, it was no wonder when he was worried sick about Sanzo freezing to death, but it didn't seem like a good enough excuse. These youkai deserved to die if he found Sanzo even so much as gasping for breath.

He heard Hakuryuu's high-pitched squeak from behind and glanced up to see the small, flying pet descending from where it had hidden amongst the trees. A dark and cloudy sky outlined the thin, white wings, warning that a storm was starting on top of the rest of this mess. They had to hurry and find Sanzo before the tentative weather broke on them. He expected no miracles and started running to catch up with Gojyo, knowing that Hakuryuu would follow behind. It would be easier for the dragon to fly than to keep a perch on Hakkai's shoulder while he was going this fast.

Gojyo and Goku had been going faster than he'd first expected, so it took Hakkai a while until he could see the back of Gojyo's unique red hair and coated back. The man didn't seem to be having any trouble, with his long legs easily moving through the thick snow. Hakkai already found himself out of breath, but it was no time to be weak when Sanzo was…well, who knew what state they would find Sanzo in. Hakkai could only hope that the blonde had already taken care of the youkai that had tossed him in the river, or Hakkai would with delight instead. It was an insult that some demon had been able to hurt Sanzo when he was supposed to be under their protection

Hakkai caught up shoulder to shoulder with Gojyo, but neither of them said a word to each other. They were both too busy watching the ground as they ran through the unbroken snow. Sanzo couldn't have gone too far in such a short time, or had they been fighting for quite a while? Hakkai had been having so much fun for a moment that he'd forgotten himself. It had been a long time since they had been pushed to the limits or that he had found himself out of breath. All of that followed by running was getting to be a fine exercise, but he couldn't forgive himself for allowing Sanzo to be hurt.

Even though Sanzo always insisted he could take care of himself, there were times when he failed miserably for reasons Hakkai couldn't even begin to understand. Sanzo had a tendency to get into the worst kinds of trouble if Hakkai didn't keep an eye on him, just like he had done today. He had been a fool and Sanzo might end up dead because of it. He owed everything to Sanzo; the only reason he was wandering around free was because the scowling monk had spoken on his behalf.

They continued alongside the river without finding a single mark in the untouched snow. In the unbroken wilderness, ice covered the sides of the dark and churning water, making a sharp and dangerous obstacle for a human trying to drag himself out of the river. If so much as a hair on Sanzo's head had been damaged, Hakkai would be sure to make the youkai originally responsible for this mess pay.

Hakkai didn't like the looks of things at all as time started to stretch out and they got further and further away from the known road. The river was starting to get wilder and huge rocks stuck out of the crashing water. A small thing like Sanzo was likely to lose a limb if he'd gotten this far downstream. Hakkai noticed Gojyo's face becoming darker with each step they took as the man must have started to realize they had ended up in a race against time. Hakkai didn't know why he felt like they needed to rush, but he wasn't about to ignore his instincts. Sanzo could be in real trouble this time.

"Hakkai! Over here, I can smell him!" Goku's voice cut across the river, forcing Gojyo and Hakkai to skid to a stop on the other side. He saw Goku swinging around wildly to rush toward the trees without them, Sanzo a much greater concern than them being able to cross without another accident. It wasn't like there was much choice in the matter in the end, so Hakkai backed up until the snow-covered bushes made it impossible to take another step. Hopefully a running start would be enough for this. He didn't have the jumping strength that Goku had, but at least the river was a little bit shorter across here. However, the jagged and sharp rocks didn't look quite as inviting as the smooth water Goku had to land in.

Hakkai ran and jumped from the very edge of the river anyway, barely managing to get to the other side. The ice beneath his feet cracked at Hakkai's landing and he launched forward again to avoid the crumbling frozen ground while trying to make it all look like it was on purpose. He wouldn't want to worry Gojyo before the man tried to make his own jump. By the time he finally found his balance again, Goku was nowhere to be seen, likely halfway to Sanzo by now.

Gojyo landed much more easily than any of them not a second later. His long legs gave him the advantage over everyone else as the redhead put his hands into his coat pockets like it had been nothing at all. He didn't say a single word to Hakkai, but stepped forward to examine the marks in the snow. Hakkai tried not to frown as he studied the ground as well for signs of their missing priest.

Goku had left an obvious trail of deep and spread out boot prints over the long imprint of where a body must have laid. Only Sanzo was that thin, but the trail of large bare feet definitely belonged to youkai. There was a small patch of disturbed snow where Hakkai was certain Sanzo must have tried to fight. However, there was only one set of large, clawed feet that sunk even deeper into the snow than before as they walked away from the river. The youkai must have knocked Sanzo unconscious while he was still weak, nearly being drowned, and carried him off.

"I don't like this, Hakkai," Gojyo murmured darkly next to him, his eyes narrowing at the evidence on the ground before them. Hakkai nodded, not about to trust himself with words. He'd lose his smile if he started talking right now, because all he could think of was finding one certain youkai and tearing off every single limb one by one. And if he admitted that, it would only worry Gojyo. It wouldn't do to create another thing to think about right now. He had find Sanzo first, then he could make an example out of the youkai they found for what happened when one hurt his friends.

"It just feels wrong," Gojyo grumbled as he kicked at the snow with his boot in frustration. Hakkai noticed that the ill feeling inherit in the very surroundings had intensified now that they had traveled so far behind. He was sure that they would have been able to find Sanzo, but now there was even more time between when the blonde had been taken out of the river and into a decent shelter. That was, if he had been taken to some hideout. Well, whatever they found at the end of the path, Hakkai would be sure to give the one responsible a proper thank you.

Hakuryuu squeaked from behind as the dragon finally caught up with them. Hakkai didn't bother to wait for the dragon to come to a complete stop, but took off after Goku, knowing that it was easier for Hakuryuu than landing and launching all over again. Gojyo cursed at the snow before following with a grimace, obviously even more worried about Sanzo than Hakkai was. For all of the rude and acidic remarks Gojyo shot at the monk, he ended up being the most concerned for him.

The trail ended up being a clear, straight path despite the youkai having struggled through a freezing river and now had a High Priest for a burden. Hakkai could only assume that the demon must know where it was going with its human prize. Perhaps even out in the last bits of familiar Eastern civilization there were youkai that worked for Kougaiji. Sobering thought, but either way it meant Sanzo was being kept alive until the youkai reached its destination. Hakkai could just hope that nothing would happen between then and when they finally caught up to Sanzo.

"Hakkai!" Goku's yell hit his ears a second time and a moment later the boy became visible behind the next line of perfect trees with snow hanging fresh on the branches. Hakkai could have killed himself for jinxing them when he came close enough to notice Goku's panicked face, sure that he would be seeing blood soaking up the snow. He glanced around at the trees in the clearing where Goku had stopped; not seeing a sign of attack and wondering what could have made the boy even think when he was chasing Sanzo, much less actually stop.

"Where the fuck did the trail go?" Gojyo snapped before Goku could even explain himself, pointing down at the snow in shock. Hakkai looked down at that, sure that the two of them just must be mistaken right now. Sure enough, there was the same heavy imprint of the youkai's feet leading to the middle of nowhere was continuing in a wavy line until it was just gone. That was it; no more sign of the creature that had probably drowned Sanzo in the river and was still carrying the body as proof. The snow didn't even look like the footprints had been covered; they just ended, like the youkai had sprouted wings and flew the rest of the way. Hakkai felt like killing himself, knowing that if anything had happened to Sanzo it would be his own fault for not paying closer attention in the beginning of the fight.

"This is too damn weird. No one just disappears if they've been walking this long," Gojyo babbled, looking a little wide-eyed at the loss of Sanzo's track. Hakkai frowned at the unusual alarm, torn between saying something comforting and wanting to slap the man. Goku wasn't even listening to them now that they had caught up, his eyes closed without the slightest shred of attention being paid to them while he sniffed the air. Hakkai wished Sanzo was here to tell them what to do, and at the same time realized what a pathetic wish it was.

"Calm down, Gojyo. We'll find him," Hakkai assured, not mentioning the fact that they just might end up finding a body instead of a live and cursing priest. It wasn't a reassuring image when they had just impossibly lost the path left behind. There was no place to go in this snow, no ground that was upset from the smooth cover of snow. Hakkai was beginning to hate the white stuff and began to frantically search the trees, hoping that there might be some clue to where Sanzo had been taken now. He should have never been so naïve to think that things might actually be looking up.

"I can't believe this shit," Gojyo hissed as he fumbled out a pack of cigarettes from his coat. Hakkai frowned at the nervous strike up for the lighter, but at the same time wanted a stick as well. It had been a long time since he had smoked, but Hakkai didn't like the feeling this place had given him. The trees and snow looked wrong, nothing smelled of anything, and Hakkai hadn't heard a single animal in the place. To have a set of prints disappear in mid-stride was a little too much to handle as well.

Hakuryuu didn't make a noise in greeting this time, so it was more luck that Hakkai actually heard the flap of wings in time to hold up his arm. The little dragon landed gratefully with its thin and long mouth hanging open as it gasped for air. Even though Hakuryuu had been flying, it had still been a long way to go for such a small creature. Hakkai petted Hakuryuu behind the horns, knowing that the dragon had tried its best to keep up with them for only this length.

"It's not very strong, but I can smell him," Goku's voice was a little deeper than usual, more contained as he continued to sniff at the air. Hakkai blinked at the confidence in the boy's tone as he finally opened his pair of golden eyes that stared straight forward through the woods. Even though there was no more physical path to follow, Goku seemed certain that he would be able to trace Sanzo by scent and instincts alone. Hakkai had nothing else to go on, so only nodded his encouragement to the boy. Gojyo sucked determinedly at his cigarette without a word, looking ready to start a fight with the next person who was foolish enough to say a word to him.

Goku didn't run this time, but started off at a walk in the direction the trail had been leading in before with his nose held high like a trained hunting dog. It wasn't too far from the truth when it came to Goku, but Hakkai didn't doubt the boy's ability to find Sanzo no matter what. Even though Sanzo acted like he was going to kill Goku, and sometimes there were moments when Hakkai had serious doubts that the priest wouldn't pull the trigger, there was still a connection between those two. Sanzo had insisted that it was nothing more than like having a stray following him, albeit an extremely loud and hungry one, but Goku was the one person Sanzo actually trusted. Even Hakkai wasn't sure if he could honestly say Sanzo believed in him completely, or anyone else beyond himself.

"This just feels bad. I've got the creeps about this damn place," Gojyo insisted, never one to fall into superstitious beliefs. Except, their only religious member of the group, if Sanzo could be called that, was missing. Hakkai could understand the concern, but Gojyo didn't need to start panicking now. If the man ended up distracting Goku, Hakkai might end up actually yelling at the idiot. Gojyo acting too concerned over Sanzo when he was so vicious and always arguing with the monk. Hakkai pursed his lips, ready to finally say something as they followed Goku in a single-file line, when he felt it…

Death.

Hakkai regained his breath in a shaky gasp that did nothing to ban the cold and freezing pain that had settled in his lungs. The sense of leftover agony and old murder was so strong that Hakkai couldn't believe he had been able to ignore it until now. He felt sick with it, every tree and branch soaked with discontent, every snowflake tainted from grudges held by souls that had been killed wrongly. Something terrible had happened in this forest, and it was long before they had entered. The feeling of Sanzo being in danger doubled and tripled until it became a lump in Hakkai's throat.

"Are you okay, Hakkai? Hakkai?" Gojyo repeated his name and it took Hakkai a second to realize that he was being spoken too. Hakuryuu cooed quietly in worry, and now that he looked closer, Hakkai could see that the tiny white scales covering its body were slightly puffed up as if Hakuryuu was sensing an attack. Not only had he not been paying attention to Sanzo during the fighting, he had ignored all the signs under his nose that something was very wrong with this 'wilderness.' Everything was too perfect, even Sanzo's trail cleaned up in a manner of minutes before they had even been able to track it very far. Gojyo had been absolutely right and Hakkai had completely ignored him and everything else that hinted about something being desperately wrong.

"Many people have been killed here before. Let's make sure that Sanzo isn't one of them," Hakkai suggested, trying to give Gojyo an explanation for these mysterious forces that seemed to be at work right now. It wasn't an answer for why those footprints had suddenly stopped, but if Goku could find Sanzo by smell, that would be fine as well. Gojyo blew a cloud of smoke toward the back of Hakkai's head as an answer, the steam of his own breath mixing in the cold air and disappearing into the fog that was only getting thicker as night came closer. Hakkai felt a sudden sense of dread at the thought of being in these trees during the night, but said nothing. Gojyo would likely lose his complete composure if Hakkai mentioned anything like that right now.

"It feels like it's going to start snowing too. Just our fucking luck," Gojyo growled, complaining about everything now that they had paused long enough to gain his breath back. Hakkai rolled his eyes at that, thinking that Goku wasn't the only child in the group at the moment. Given the chance, Gojyo could whine like the best of them, enough to make Goku look back with a grimace even though he was trying to find Sanzo.

"Well, let's find Sanzo before then," Hakkai tried to make it sound civil and keep the irritation out of his voice, but apparently he hadn't done a good enough job because Goku stopped ahead of Gojyo and glanced back with a raised eyebrow. He had a perfect right to, but Hakkai had never expected Goku to be the one to make him feel like he was acting childish right now. They needed to find Sanzo first and then fight or argue, whatever Gojyo wanted to. He smiled at Goku, trying to assure the boy that everything was fine.

"I don't know how far he is, but this place stinks. Everything's so rotten that it's easy to catch Sanzo's scent," Goku explained before he closed his eyes and began to sniff the air again, twisting his head like a bloodhound as he tried to find Sanzo's trail. Hakkai raised an eyebrow, thinking this entire time that even though they were walking through a pine forest with a fresh fall of snow, it had smelt like nothing to him. Just what kind of place were they wandering around in, only slightly better off than completely lost? At least they had the river to follow before, but now it was off without a single clue to where they were. Just what Sanzo been dragged through, and what state would he be in when they found him? Hakkai liked that thought the least of all.

They all fell back into an uncomfortable silence beyond the loud inhale and exhale of Gojyo as he smoked behind Hakkai during their short break. Hakkai didn't bother trying to break it with reassuring talk, much to caught up in his own thoughts. Why hadn't the locals told them what was out here? How could such a cursed forest be unknown of, or was it they had been afraid to say anything? There were too many questions that Hakkai was finding no answers for, now that they were out in the middle of nowhere. He couldn't ask Gojyo these things, not about to get the redhead worried and start to wear off of Goku. They need to find Sanzo first, person those youkai could do anything to him.

Goku huffed at the air, spinning around in the snow in curious circle. Hakkai grimaced at the seemingly hopeless attempt to figure out where Sanzo was. No normal youkai could have gotten this far without Sanzo starting to struggle, and there would certainly be signs of that worse than unless something was terribly wrong just like he was dreading. Hakkai really was starting to hate this forest.

It began to snow before they found any sign of Sanzo again with small, light flakes fallings from the dark grey sky that was only becoming darker. It would be night by the time they figured out where Sanzo was, and that was far too late. Sanzo was probably dead from exposure if a fool youkai carried him all this way without a concern for the delicacy of the human body. Few demons took into consideration that their human prey had a tendency to break easily.

Hakuryuu chirped from its perch on Hakkai's shoulder, obviously concerned for its master. It was a good thing he was in front where Gojyo couldn't see his face since his expression was worried enough to make Hakuryuu speak up. Hakkai smiled for the dragon as he schooled his usual expression back into place. He must never show how troubled his own thoughts were or he'd make Gojyo and Goku even more anxious.

"I can smell youkai now," Goku announced without breaking stride; in fact, he was starting to walk faster now. The scent must be getting stronger now, which meant they were closer. Hakkai had to fight with himself from becoming too hopeful that they might find Sanzo alive and in one piece at the end of this. He needed to be calm and controlled this time and only concentrate on rescuing Sanzo. Once they secured the blonde, then he could go about getting revenge for him.

"Hey, I can smell it now too. Goku, you actually did it, you little shit," Gojyo hissed excitedly before he tackled the boy from behind and they both fell down hard into the snow bank. They wrestled in a muted fury for once, not about to be so disrespectful to the atmosphere of this land. However, now that the redhead's tall back was out of his vision, Hakkai saw a fire through the trees in the mist, but couldn't make out anything to hide from. He was about to tell Gojyo to let Goku back up when the fog shifted a bit and he noticed a large, furry youkai pacing next to the fire. Hakkai dropped down to the ground immediately, ready to curse his own stupidity as he crawled forward to pull up next to Gojyo.

"I can't believe that something's actually out here," Gojyo hissed as he spat out the filter to his latest cigarette. Goku wasn't looking half as pleased at finding a place where Sanzo must be with his face and hair flecked with snow on the other side of Gojyo. Hakkai sighed at the two, not really sure why he was so surprised that they could still fight even though Sanzo could be in some youkai's belly right now. Hakkai doubted that Sanzo was edible, and very much less that he even tasted good.

Hakkai's eyes narrowed as he finally was able to make out the lines of a large building behind the youkai in the dying light. He couldn't believe that there would actually be a guard when the band that had attacked them had been full of nothing but the most primitive of youkai with brains no bigger than oranges. But, the house behind the youkai looked like a very rich mansion with a wooden porch wrapping all the way around the building. Hakkai couldn't understand the absurdity of such a huge household being built in the middle of this wilderness that seemed evil to top it off, but the longer he stared at it through the fog, the more he was certain that Sanzo must be in here.

"Good job, Goku," Hakkai complimented him before standing up. He didn't care what was waiting inside or how many of them there were, but what did matter was getting Sanzo back safe and sound. Gojyo hissed and grabbed at the leg of his pants in warning. Hakkai looked down and without a word, shook off his friend's hand and started forward. He didn't need to explain his actions. It was more than simple enough: those who hurt Sanzo had to pay. They didn't need to waste time thinking of a plan or trying to break in stealthily. Hakkai didn't want to avoid the youkai in the least, striding forward with his best grin plastered all over his face.

"Good evening. Might you happen to have seen a monk recently?" Hakkai called out in his most hospitable voice as he strode up to the youkai standing and circling around the fire on a weak patrol. The youkai grunted in confusion for an answer before his large, furry face became dark with anger as Hakkai came into the light. There was a noise that was certainly some kind of threat, but the thing was simply too mad to even speak properly. The youkai took several paces to meet Hakkai halfway from where Goku and Gojyo were still hiding in the snow, large claws held up in a threatening manner.

"No?" Hakkai asked before the youkai swung wildly at him with bare hands, much more threatening than a human's with five, long nails on each. He ducked and dodged without even needing to think about it before rolling around to the youkai's side gracefully. Hakkai stopped and braced his feet in the snow while the youkai staggered forward with the momentum of his wild attack, exposing its back. Hakkai slammed a fist into the lower part and heard a satisfying crack as the spine shattered underneath the force of it. The youkai howled as it dropped to the snow in sudden paralysis, a loud and unnecessary entrance that Hakkai hoped brought out more youkai. It would be more to kill, which was exactly what he wanted right now.

"Hakkai, what the hell are you doing?" Gojyo demanded loudly as he stood up with Goku close behind. They made their way over despite having to take a large curve around the youkai that was howling and thrashing its arms in the snow. Hakkai was tempted to kick it in the head as he passed by the screaming youkai, but Gojyo already looked upset enough. Hakkai pursed his lips and waited for them to come over, not about to look foolish by yelling across the clearing.

"We're going inside, right? What are you waiting for?" Hakkai demanded as he turned to study the building. The roof looked old and was starting to bow with the weight of the snow. The floors and walls were covered with mud and water stains as well as the familiar brown streak of old blood on the paint. It wasn't hard to guess that youkai must have killed the residents of this house and had made it into their own sort of headquarters to wait out the winter.

"The damn youkai that are coming because of your stupid, fucking entrance," Gojyo answered as he pointed at the crowd coming down the side of the house to investigate the screaming. Hakkai smiled, glad that their welcoming party had finally chosen to show up. He cracked his knuckles in preparation with a warm grin on his face as he waited for the half dozen or so large youkai to come to him. There was no reason to waste energy by going to meet them. He had to make sure that any of the demons who had so much as laid a hand on Sanzo were properly punished.

"Hakkai, leave them to me. Find Sanzo first. I can smell his blood," Goku demanded as he stepped forward with the nyoi-bo in both hands. Goku could be surprisingly rational at times, even taking Hakkai off balance that the boy had recognized Hakkai was the best person to find Sanzo right now with his healing ability. They had to be prepared for the worse, now that it was certain that the youkai had done violence to Sanzo. He could almost be ashamed with himself as Goku launched himself forward with a loud cry.

"Just go already. I'll make sure the dumb ass is okay," Gojyo insisted as he pulled out the shaku-jyo next to Hakkai with a grim look on his face. They both knew that Sanzo was much more important right now than fighting the youkai responsible. Sanzo didn't even care if the three of them lived or died, but he had become and irreplaceable friend for Hakkai. Hakkai didn't feel comfortable in silence like he used to, instead finding himself wishing that the monk would be yelling at them for acting like a bunch of idiots.

"All right," Hakkai agreed before he stepped up onto the porch as more youkai were coming from the other side of the clearing, in quite a few numbers this time. He didn't have time to stand around and greet the bastards properly after they had taken such good care of Sanzo. Hakkai threw up the arm Hakuryuu was perched on to signal for the dragon to fly away yet again, the small creature flapping whining as it flapped its wings to gain height in the air, obviously not happy as it started to search for a good hiding place until he came back out.

It knew something was very wrong.

Hakkai jumped up on the porch and started jogging around the side as the screams of Goku's first kill followed behind. He had to restrain himself from clapping as he rounded the corner, having to take delight in knowing that at least one had been dispatched. Luckily enough, the front door to the mansion was on the other side wide open, likely from the youkai running out to greet them before. Hakkai ran through the doorway and found himself in a deserted and messy main hall. Furniture was knocked down and broken everywhere, a chair being used for firewood in the hearth right now. It smelled of unwashed bodies and urine, but thankfully none of the occupants were there to greet him.

He picked his way through the garbage strewn across the floor, watching the floor carefully. It was only because of his desire not to step in anything that he spotted a patch of fresh blood on the floor that was still slightly damp and glistening in the light of the fire. Hakkai could spot another smear of blood that was definitely made from a hand dragging across the floor. He was very certain that this was from Sanzo by the scratch marks covering the floor, knowing that only that monk would struggle so much. Hakkai also noticed large, white shreds from what had been Sanzo's robes, but there was no hope of finding a piece big enough to be worth salvaging.

There was one sizeable circle of blood on the floor from what Hakkai didn't even want to think about, but only that there was no Sanzo over it. The drying blood streaked and lead from the main puddle to a straight line toward the hallway. Hakkai glanced around the empty room once more to make sure that he was alone before walking cautiously alongside the blood on the floor. He hoped that it was Sanzo, and yet at the same time didn't. There was no way a human could bleed this much and live.

"Sanzo?" Hakkai called out as he continued alongside the trail of blood on the floor. It looked fresh, but he could never be sure. Perhaps Sanzo was still alive, but considering the amount of blood he was finding on the floor, it seemed less and less likely. Hakkai shook his head, knowing that he couldn't have thoughts like this or else Sanzo would really be lost to them. He had to believe in that chance in hell, because Sanzo had cheated death too many times before to not now.

"Hakkai, Goku's going absolutely fucking wild. I think the smell of Sanzo's blood is doing it," Gojyo yelled as he came trotting up behind Hakkai. The man still had the shaku-jyo held out in one hand in case any more youkai were to greet them. Hakkai's eyes narrowed as he noticed the trail leading to the last door on the left with a large smear in the door way. Hakkai touched his fingers to it and felt the malignant tingle of youkai blood, confirming that it wasn't Sanzo's. It was still a struggle.

"Has the demon limiter broken?" Hakkai asked as calmly as possible, swallowing as he distastefully wiped the blood off on his pants. Sanzo was definitely in this room, and even if Goku was going berserk, there were be very little Hakkai could do to stop it. Sanzo was priority, even though it would be better to stop Goku before he could gain enough fighting drive to transform into his true, unstoppable youkai form.

"No, not yet," Gojyo growled, a threat left hanging in the air that it was probably going to change very soon. Hakkai's eyes narrowed and he put a hand on the doorknob, hesitating yet again because of the sudden icy dread that was forming in the pit of his stomach. Gojyo coughed behind him, splattered in a fair amount of youkai blood himself, even though his weapons usually kept him relatively clean during a fight.

"Then let him," Hakkai said very softly to Gojyo's face. He didn't particularly care if it did drive the poor boy to become Son Goku. Those youkai downstairs were responsible for the red stains covering the floor, which had all come from Sanzo. It was too fresh to be otherwise. Hakkai wanted there to be a good amount of punishment dished out, and Goku was particularly skilled at accidentally beating youkai to death. The boy still didn't know the extent of his fantastic strength, even after five hundred years of life.

"Hakkai," Gojyo breathed behind him, obviously taken back at this sudden lack of giving a damn. He didn't have to be fair and gentle all the time, and a dark part of him knew very well that the youkai deserved any pain Goku could press on them before death. He had seen and smelled the monk's blood on their fists and claws. These youkai were the worst of their kind, losing all touch with the humanity that had kept the demons sane before Gyuumao had started his resurrection. Being slaughtered like animals was almost too good for them.

Hakkai gestured for Gojyo to be silent, pushing all these thoughts aside. The redhead stood back with one hand on his hip and glanced over his shoulder to look down the hall in case any youkai decided to show up. Hakkai didn't spare a 'thank you' for Gojyo, too nervous with the apprehensive clenching of his stomach. Hakkai didn't like this feeling, not one bit.

The door knob almost seemed to turn on its own and the loud click of the lock almost made Hakkai jump out of his skin. He couldn't understand his nervousness, but he could feel a sort of wrongness inside the room. Hakkai couldn't tell just what it was, but it was like the feeling he got around Kougaiji and his group. It was the presence of a powerful youkai demon that was making him hesitate as the door swung open with an ominous creak.

The room was filled with candles, lighting up every corner until the place was as bright as day. Hakkai could see large splatters of blood and curiously enough, paint of all shades smeared on the wooden floor. Everything still looked fresh and glistened in the firelight, telling Hakkai that they couldn't be very late at all. The window was open and large, tattered white curtains were blowing out the window as if to point at the escaping shadow. Hakkai could guess that whatever youkai that had been in here was already long gone, probably alerted by the screams of his fellow demons from downstairs.

Hakkai looked away from the window, looking for his original reason to be here. The youkai may have escaped, but it meant the room was empty now. It reeked of sweat and fear, the sharp and unmistakable scents of urine and blood underneath it. But, worst of all was the stench of youkai ejaculation, much more pungent than any human's could be. Hakkai swallowed the urge to gag, looking around until he finally spotted the bed against the far wall.

He didn't mean to gasp, used to seeing and being responsible for many gruesome acts in his time, but it was too close to nightmares to be real. It was Hakkai's greatest fear manifested, so horrifying he couldn't help covering his mouth with a hand in horror. Gojyo peeked in around him, the sudden tenseness of the body behind him enough to tell Hakkai that the redhead could clearly make out the horrible sight in front of them.

Sanzo was motionless as death, naked and breathless on the bed with his wrists still lashed to opposite head posts by blood-soaked ropes. Sanzo had always been pale, but he was the color of the once-white sheets underneath him, the mattress sodden with red-brown liquid. Hakkai could even small chunks of flesh that had rubbed off onto the sheets beneath his back. Huge rents cut the skin open all over across his arms and sides, still lazily oozing blood even though there wasn't the slightest stir of life in the body. Hakkai could see the dull white flash of Sanzo's ribs in the cuts and on the side of his thighs, the youkai obviously not caring if their victim survived or not.

"Oh…fuck," Gojyo wrangled out, making a choking noise like even he might be sick just at the sight of Sanzo's body. Hakkai couldn't look away, entranced and horrified. Too thin legs were still spread open on the bed, giving testament to what must have gone on while they had been desperately searching for the monk. Blood was everywhere, though Hakkai had not expected it to stain Sanzo's groins and thighs to near unrecognizable as human flesh. Hakkai had seen youkai with half their body blown off from a not-so-well-aimed explosion of chi that looked better than Sanzo's very still body. He closed his eyes, blinking long enough to have one relieved moment of ignorant darkness before opening them again. They had been too late.

They had finally been too late.

Hakkai could feel it in his bones. Sanzo was dead. Humans didn't live through this kind of torture. Not even High Priests. Gojyo said something to him, but it was lost as Hakkai took several staggering steps forward, drawn to the body on the bed helplessly. As he came closer, Hakkai noticed that above from the chin up, there were no bruises or wounds. The youkai had left Sanzo's face alone, as if in a final mockery of the handsome features that had landed the monk in the mess in the first place. Even in death, Sanzo's face didn't lose its hardness, eyebrows clenched together and teeth clenched as if the monk was still cursing the gods in his afterlife. Such heartbreaking beautiful features, not ones a dead man should wear.

Hakkai snorted at that, though it was more of a sob. It wasn't Sanzo's pretty looks, but his own damn fault that this had happened. That Sanzo was dead. Raped until he died. Hakkai choked, almost unable to accept the fact without being physically ill. That wasn't the way he was supposed to go. There wasn't any honor, any glory anywhere. How would he ever explain this to Goku? The miserable, numb shock left a silence clear enough to hear the light and painful wheeze of Sanzo taking one small, impossible breath.

Hakkai's eyes snapped open as he watched the chest lift up ever so lightly, glistening from long slashes left by youkai's claws. He heard the wet sound of Sanzo's exhale, weak and small. Hakkai didn't know what to do for a moment, more than certain that it must be Sanzo's last breath. How could anyone be alive after taking so many injuries? The chest flattened out and Sanzo didn't move after that, the mere act of breathing being his final moment.

"Hakkai," Gojyo hissed in a low, dangerous voice as he suddenly snagged Hakkai's upper arm, shaking him back into some sense of reason. He stared into Gojyo's familiar eyes and found himself rather lost, frightened of touching Sanzo right now, like a child seeing blood for the first time. He couldn't even consider healing Sanzo right now, couldn't even get his feet to move. He was so miserable, pathetic and helpless when Sanzo obviously needed his help, just overwhelmed by the smell of blood, sweat, piss, and sex.

"Hakkai, do something," Gojyo hissed as the man yanked him forward even closer to the thing dying on the bed. It couldn't be considered human now. Hakkai closed his eyes once, trying to remind himself that it was Sanzo and hold back his own cowardly revulsion to blood. It was silly to be so sensitive to that precious, red source of life after killing so many in varyingly gruesome ways…but looking at Sanzo now made him feel severely ill. It was hard to breathe as his cheeks hollowed out and his stomach started to clench.

Gojyo's tightened his grip on Hakkai's arm before simply dropping him, letting Hakkai fall to an awkward half-seat on the side of the bed. The side of his leg already felt damp with warm, sticky blood that had trailed off the side of the bed and to the floor. He couldn't believe that all of this was Sanzo's alone. Hesitantly, Hakkai put a hand on Sanzo's chest, ignoring the feeling of broken skin parting underneath his fingers and dull throb of a heartbeat that was still trying to provide life. Hakkai touched the smooth bone of Sanzo's ribcage without meaning to and had to clench his teeth together to keep from jumping away in disgust. This wasn't something a normal person should have to go through, neither Sanzo nor he. Hakkai hated every time he had to heal Sanzo, each instance he had to coax the body back into living when anyone else would have let it be a mercy death.

It was amazing what the human body could survive through. There was an incredible amount of life force gathered up in every joint and vein underneath the skin. It only took a moment's concentration for Hakkai to gather his own chi together and push it through the lines controlling the flow all the way to his hands. It was a harder thing to get another body to let him into the new and unique flow of life force. Hakkai should be familiar with Sanzo by now after having to heal the small blonde so many times, but even now it was still just as hard as the first time.

Sanzo had a life force and a controlling willpower that far surpassed any average human being. Hakkai gritted his teeth and tried to weave himself into what felt like a stone wall. Sanzo always resisted at first, unconsciously and instinctively no matter how badly he was injured. Hakkai could only try harder because Gojyo was expecting him to save Sanzo, regardless of his how badly wounded he looked. Sanzo was probably not even going to let Hakkai in before he bled to death.

Hakkai couldn't hold in a reflexive gasp when the 'wall' he had come across suddenly collapsed. Hakkai could see the lines of Sanzo's chi as clearly in his mind as though it was a physical thing. Nothing but immense warmth that surpassed the sun surrounded Hakkai's mind, threatening to steal away reason and thought. It was peaceful and welcoming, a spiritual strength that Hakkai could easily be lost in. Hakkai was surprised every time that such purity of a soul was found in none other than High Priest Sanzo Genjo himself.

The thought of Sanzo's name was enough to recall the attitude and violence that also accompanied the lifeless body he wasn't healing. Hakkai forced himself to keep his eyes closed so he would keep the hard-earned connection with Sanzo. From here on, the slightest frivolous thought could kill both Sanzo and him. Hakkai refused to be responsible for Sanzo's death, not just because he would have three Gods after him, but because he would also lose one dear friend.

The body knew how to heal itself. All Hakkai had to do was guide that inner strength into full use. Sanzo had an amazing amount of will power to live and a stubborn confidence that helped Hakkai every time. It was no different now, a small coherent thought in the midst of the swirling and wild mess that was determined to survive. Sanzo's single-mindedness took control of Hakkai's strength and begun the process itself.

Revenge, clear as if Sanzo had said it himself right now. Hakkai let himself be used, adding his own strength into Sanzo's will to live as flesh and muscle began to tremble. It was painful to hear the squishing sounds of the body stretched and molded together under his fingers. It was unnaturally fast, tender and as delicate as any craftwork. It was like the fine work of a spider web, ready to fall apart at the slightest brush of a hand… or kill both Sanzo and Hakkai at the slightest mistake.

Except it worked. Golden power took him over and was fixing the worst first. The body knew what to do better than Hakkai could ever do, even though he foolishly thought himself knowledgeable about medicine. He wasn't aware of his own breath being stolen away, concentrating too hard on forcing Sanzo's own lungs to keep pumping. Even though his body was knitting together and healing at a rapid speed, it could still forget the simple functions of breathing.

One heartbeat. Hakkai tried to think of his own even though sweat started to break out on his forehead. He listened to it behind the absolute darkness of eyelids, his own heartbeat, his mind wrapped in blinding light at the same time. He felt dizzy and sick, unable to find the rhythm for a moment. He almost became frantic, but Sanzo's own heart made a ragged beat that echoed throughout the yellow center of the man's being. It let Hakkai recall his own place in this, too carried away by Sanzo's strength to watch carefully.

Another heartbeat. There was a rhythm, slow and calm despite the horrid scene they had stumbled in on. Hakkai couldn't let the healing go on for much longer. That could be just as damaging and even worse if he drew on too much. He could drain Sanzo's life force so badly without meaning to because it seemed so limitless. Sanzo was still human with or without the tremendous spirit that resided within him.

"Hakkai," Gojyo's voice pierced through the rapport and the hand on Hakkai's shoulder nearly stopped his heart. Hakkai was brought back to himself, aware of his fingers and toes before he realized he was almost falling over Sanzo. Gojyo had caught him before Hakkai had a chance to dive on Sanzo's chest and ruin the little repairs he had managed to help along. Hakkai didn't mind being ripped away so suddenly, more than certain that he wouldn't have been able to drag himself out. Hakkai was weak-willed when it came ending these connections, because he could never call when it would finally be enough.

Hakkai started to take a breath before it turned into a desperate sob for air as Gojyo pulled him back. His vision wavered and a hazy grey grew at the edges of his eyes until Hakkai felt sick to his stomach. All he could think of was how thankful he was that Gojyo had caught him before he'd fallen on Sanzo and ruptured all of the healing he'd managed. Hakkai tried to regain control of his own body first, gaining back his breath and pushing away the lightheadedness.

He became aware of the small things like the trembling of his hands even though Gojyo was trying to hold him steady. Hakkai was ready to fall apart, not quite sure if he was even in the right body or not. His eyes opened to see pink skin that wasn't as healed as much as he wished it had been. Hakkai felt like he might be sick as the tender scar tissue that didn't even look natural in the pink swelling lumps that would eventually fade into bruises. Why did this have to happen to them? Just what drove the youkai into this sort of madness that disregarded human life so easily?

"Hakkai, he's…he's not fucking breathing," Gojyo hissed in a deadly seriously voice that he didn't hear the man use very often. It was then that Hakkai noticed that Sanzo's chest wasn't moving up and down like it should. The lungs weren't filling with air like living people did. Hakkai couldn't make a single noise in the hopelessness he was suddenly overwhelmed with, even worse than Sanzo's own spirit had. Why, why did Sanzo have to give out now when he had already tried so hard?

Hakkai didn't cry out in rage as he felt like doing, but instead launched himself forward. He couldn't heal Sanzo again, not when his own body felt so numb and cold from taking on a bit of Sanzo's own pain through that melding. Hakkai pressed two fingers underneath Sanzo's jaw and felt for a pulse. There was a long silence where Hakkai could only hear his own ragged breathing as he realized the priest's heart had stopped.

Hakkai knew how to do chest compression only from a vague memory of a pamphlet he had read somewhere long ago. He hadn't ever tried it before, certainly not on any person as important as Sanzo. But, there was nothing else he could do right now but try to save the blonde's life. Hakkai made a fist with his left hand and clenched his right over it before looking to the spot on Sanzo's chest that had to be where the heart was. Tender, pink and silvery-yellow scars laced the skin, some still oozing puss from behind healed so rapidly. Hakkai wasn't sure where to touch him for a moment, afraid to hurt him even further.

One look at Sanzo's blue lips was all the motivation Hakkai needed to pound on the chest one…two…three times, along with his own heartbeat. He felt the ribs shift underneath his fist, but thankfully the newly healed bones didn't break like he had expected. That fragile healing job held fast as Hakkai switched to pinching Sanzo's nose in one hand while using the other to tilt back the pale, thin throat. It was a miracle Sanzo had even lasted this long. Hakkai wondered for one sick moment if he should just let Sanzo die now and spare the man any further suffering. Hadn't he already done enough?

But, he couldn't let Sanzo die now when Gojyo was watching over his shoulder. If he had been alone, Hakkai might have actually let Sanzo slip away without a fight, but he knew that Gojyo would kill him if he didn't try his best. Hakkai closed his eyes again and took a long deep breath before he leaned down and pressed his mouth over Sanzo's own cold and dry lips. Hakkai breathed into Sanzo's open throat to force that thin and battered chest to rise up again, ballooning with false motions forced by him.

Hakkai pulled back from Sanzo's face, but kept his ear close to Sanzo's mouth as he listened. There was the thin rasp of Hakkai's air escaping out of the priest's body, but no second breath came. Hakkai took another deep lungful of air and tried to get Sanzo breathing one more time. He had to do his best, or Gojyo would never forgive him. Goku wouldn't either, Hakkai realized with a sudden coolness that spread down the back of his neck to his spine. He hadn't thought about having to face Goku if Sanzo died now and explaining how he had failed.

Hakkai gave Sanzo room again for the second time as he pressed his fingers against the priest's jaw once again. For a moment, Hakkai could dare to think that there might actually be a faint heartbeat, but it was more than likely the rush of his own blood. The air started to escape from Sanzo's lips again without a fight. Where had the determination that Hakkai had felt early gone? Why wasn't Sanzo even trying to breathe again?

The priest choked as if Hakkai had spoken out loud and started to cough and wheeze miserably. His arms started to stretch and strain weakly at the bonds they hadn't the time to cut, thin, white arms laced with red and pink slashes. Sanzo was gasping around the bruised ribs and obviously injured and tender insides, but he was pulling at the ropes around his wrists even now. Hakkai could see the ropes pull on red and mangled skin that hadn't been healed, a tad too artificial to pay mind to when organs had ruptured.

Hakkai didn't have to say anything before Gojyo switched his hands on the shaku-jyo to level the half-moon blade at Sanzo's right wrist. A deft twist of his hand and the ropes broke open without a single extra mark on the already open and bleeding wrist. It seemed as though the ropes had been acting as bandages of some sort, but it was too late to worry about the injury now that started to bleed anew. Gojyo was already leaning over to cut at the second limb a little bit more awkwardly, but with the same accurateness.

Free of the fastening, Sanzo gave up on struggling to concentrate solely on trying to live as the scratchy coughing continued. It made Hakkai's heart ache painfully to see the usually prideful man be unable to do anything more curl up into a defensive ball on a bed covered in his own blood. Sanzo was still expecting to be hit and wasn't even in the shape to fight back, just trying to prevent any worse. He would usually be screaming cursing at them now, but Sanzo was only pulling his legs up to his chest to protect his organs from any further damage.

Hakkai tiled his head to the side and his eyes hit Sanzo's shaking back as the priest tried to breathe normally, mesmerized by the patterns of fine, red scabs left. He could tell where five parallel lines must have been one hand running down the length of Sanzo's spine until it reached the small curve of his flanks. Hakkai wanted to be sure to memorize each and every wound on Sanzo's back as the sound of the remaining youkai screaming and fighting echoed down the hall. He had to remember this for the next time he saw another youkai taken over by madness. He couldn't allow this to happen again to another human being.

"Hakkai, oh…fuck," Gojyo breathed in a strangled, painful way as he grabbed Hakkai's arm once more, except this time it was for support. Hakkai glanced up the taller redhead, confused when Gojyo tore his eyes away from Sanzo's painfully tense body. It was bad, definitely very shocking, but Gojyo was much more used to these things. He was stronger than Hakkai when it came to staring forward at what disgusted him. Hakkai didn't know what else to do but look back to Sanzo as he eyes caught on a horrific smear of bright red that they hadn't noticed yet.

The blood had stopped, but it was obviously very fresh from the way the dark liquid was that hadn't dried yet between Sanzo's legs. Hakkai couldn't even blink, too shocked as his eyes followed the trail of blood into regions of that frail body that he hadn't even really thought of before. He licked his lips to try and stop from sobbing out loud, reminded again of what he would rather not recall. One simple word for what had happened here, and Hakkai couldn't bring himself to even think it anymore. This was far beyond what he could cope with, averting his eyes. Men weren't meant to be taken against their will, especially not priests.

"Gojyo, find the sutra. And the gun," Hakkai ordered in a voice that was far calmer than he truly felt. He really wanted to fall down and cry, but he didn't really have a choice in the matter. To break down now would be selfish and pathetic of him when he owed so much to Sanzo. He had to do his best to save Sanzo and stop thinking such cowardly thoughts. It wasn't like he was the one who had been hurt like this.

Gojyo dragged himself away with a choking noise, overwhelmed and trying to hide it desperately. Gojyo was used to love being a mutual act, but what had happened here… It was just so painfully obvious with the scent of the act still hanging in the air. Hakkai didn't even think anymore, the rage that had been building up with every single wound on Sanzo's body starting to blind his vision. Those youkai down there were no better than rabid animals and he wished that Goku didn't kill them all. Hakkai wanted revenge for this, punishment by his own two hands for what the youkai had done to Sanzo.

He would be sure to take his time with the leftover youkai, especially the one that had managed to escape. Hakkai was beyond appalled, regretting that he hadn't killed more of them when he had the chance. Sanzo was pale and small as he wheezed pitifully on the messy bed, but Hakkai knew he had fought like hell. Sanzo had too much pride to lie back peaceful, even if it had nearly cost him his life. Even so, it didn't mean much when Sanzo was reduced to simply struggling to breathe with his elbows pressed tightly against his sides.

Hakkai pulled himself away from Sanzo's bedside and started to look through the closet that Gojyo had left open. He started to look for a blanket as Gojyo threw open the cabinets in the dresser and loudly dropped them to the floor when he didn't find what he wanted. Hakkai pushed aside old clothing that hadn't been used in months by the dust and lint gathered on everything. He wondered how long the youkai had been camped up here and terrorizing the road, using the same overwhelming numbers that they had almost fallen prey to?

Finally, at the bottom of the closet, Hakkai found clean and untouched folded blankets. He pulled them out and went back to Sanzo, who was no longer even moving on the tangled and stained sheets. For a moment, he feared Sanzo had died in the short time it had taken him to grab the blankets. Sanzo's eyes were closed, but they were pinched tightly shut in concentration as the thin man focused on each painful breath. Hakkai could tell that Sanzo was trying very hard not to make any noise despite being in obvious agony. How could there be anything else right now?!

Hakkai dropped the blankets on the bed and Gojyo joined him with the Smith and Wesson clenched in one hand and the sutra tucked into the inside of his jacket. The handle of the gun in Gojyo's hand was covered in blood, proof that Sanzo hadn't gone down easily. He never would have. Hakkai couldn't believe it was that easy, confirming his belief that these youkai didn't work for Kougaiji. They would have never seen the sutra again.

"I've got him. Get Jeep ready," Gojyo offered as he shoved the gun into Hakkai's open hands. He didn't so much as step back before he was shoved back by Gojyo as the taller man stepped between him and the bed. The redhead stood over Sanzo for a moment before he gently worked the blankets around the silent and motionless form. Hakkai wanted to protest, but knew that between the two of them, Gojyo had the muscle to actually carry Sanzo out. Reluctantly, Hakkai rubbed the blood off on the cuff of his sleeve and tucked Sanzo's gun in the back waist of his pants, feeling awkward with being armed.

Gojyo rolled Sanzo up into the sheets and hoisted him up in two arms easily. Even Hakkai knew that the blonde didn't weigh very much at all, but a grown adult was heavy none the less. Hakkai didn't know what to say to Gojyo's grim face, except that had the same kind of desire that he had written all over his face. Gojyo wanted to make someone pay for this just as much as Hakkai did. He hoped in a sick and pathetic sort of way that whichever youkai had escaped out the window lived long enough for them to find it again. He'd make sure that it would regret its actions before it died.

"We need to go back to the village, now," Hakkai ordered, trying to make this sound like a situation he could control. Gojyo swung around with Sanzo clearly passed out in his arms, his untouched face almost peaceful in unconsciousness. Hakkai wondered how the youkai could mutilate a body so, and yet still have an appreciation for Sanzo's obvious good looks? The blanket could only hide so much, but Hakkai knew that underneath, Sanzo's flesh had been torn off. It was sick and unspeakably brutal, but nothing had been harmed above the neck.

"I fucking know that. Why don't you try calling Goku off?" Gojyo snapped back as he hefted Sanzo up in his arms irritably. The blonde's head bobbed on the tall man's shoulder as if he was trying to shake his head in disgust even in whatever oblivion he'd managed to gain right now. Hakkai decided on starting for the door instead of continuing to stand in Gojyo's way like a dumb-struck fool. He held it open for Gojyo as the man eased through it sideways with Sanzo nothing but deadweight.

They pulled out into the hallway in silence and this time Hakkai looked forward determinedly, trying not to look down at the bloodstained floor that had lead him there in the first place. It was a wonder Sanzo hadn't died, practically a miracle. Hakkai was used to it happening to the priest who seemed to have all sorts of Gods looking out for him. What Hakkai couldn't understand was why none of those deities had shown up this time to protect Sanzo from this happening? Why hadn't he been watching Sanzo in the first place?

Hakkai entered the main hall with the large front doors still hanging open, able to hear Goku long before he even saw anything moving in the dark fog. It was starting to snow harder now, as if to mock the first attempt of saving Sanzo's life. Hakkai stepped out the doorway and onto the porch to search about the snow for the source of the yelling and clanging of metal, which would only be Goku fighting. He heard the sounds of someone being hit in the darkness and there was a loud and eerie scream, then nothing else. Hakkai heard Gojyo tisk at the scream behind him, as if he was being proven right.

"Goku, we have Sanzo," Hakkai called out into the darkness of night that had fallen while they had been inside. There was no response, so Hakkai whistled for Hakuryuu instead. The quietness afterwards was almost the hardest thing to take as neither ape nor dragon showed up immediately. At least he knew that Sanzo was alive, no matter how tedious a state it might be right now. Even Gojyo had to be aware of this in his respectful silence as they waited for the rest of the members of their party to show up.

"Is he okay?" Goku yelled out loudly as he came trotting up like an errant child through the mist. Hakkai raised an eyebrow at Gojyo when the boy had shown up so easily and wondered what could be taking Hakuryuu so long. Then, Goku came closer and Hakkai could smell the blood on him as the boy greeted them with a smile. Goku scrubbed some of the blood splattered across his face off with the back of his hand, but it didn't do anything more than smear it further. He looked like he had been through a meat grinder, but Goku wouldn't have been so energetic if he had been injured.

"He'll be fine once we get back to the village," Hakkai lied, not even sure if Sanzo would last very long in this cold weather and with the bumpy ride they had up ahead. Goku frowned at that, not looking very assured at all. Hakkai couldn't say that Goku didn't have full right to be. At least there was a blanket to hide the worst of it from the boy, but he had to smell all the blood that covered the inside of the house.

Hakuryuu whistled as he finally swooped down gracefully from the pitch blackness above their heads. Hakkai only had to wave for the dragon to understand that he needed it in vehicular form. The three of them knew to avert their eyes from the bright light of Hakuryuu's transformation as the dragon changed into the Jeep. The light faded and Hakkai turned his head when he was sure that Hakuryuu was done.

"Let's go," Hakkai ordered as he waved Goku toward the car. Gojyo needed no such reminder and was already off, knowing that time was their greatest enemy right now. Hakkai could only pray that Sanzo would have the strength to make the trip back.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Oh. My. God… Hakkai is like the super hardest character to write, I feel like I butchered him. It's just like with writing Omi from Weiss Kruez; they're so cute and happy yet have the worst crap happen to them, I don't know what the hell they're thinking… I'll avoid Hakkai's perspective from now on; I just wanted to try everything… thank you to meri, because I tried to save my fingers by writing jeep, but it just didn't sound right for Hakkai.

Like you should be trying Alkaline Trio (the band)!