Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Saiyuki Outside ❯ Chapter 31: Why is there so much space between? I just want to reach you… ( Chapter 23 )

Chapter 31: Why is there so much space between? I just want to reach you…

Shyirin and Sanzo sat together a while against the icy wall. The two of them stared at the window situated at the very end.

"Let me guess, you climbed all the way from that window."

"Rather that I flew."

She tucked her dark ebony hair behind her ears as they watched the sun began to rise behind the morning mist of the mountains. She could hear every single breath that Sanzo takes. It was so silent that anything at all even the slightest drop of water could be heard. She laid her head against the wall, closing her eyes as she stretched her arms.

"You must be tired…"

"Of course I am! I used up almost all of my energy to save you."

"…When did you learn that?"

"…I don't know. It somehow came to me when I was fighting Akiyoshi."

"Akiyoshi?"

"Yes. Now, I want to relax a while. We'll talk about it later."

"…"

Silent was the atmosphere for a few minutes. Shyirin peeped and saw Sanzo, still staring at the sunrise. He noticed Shyirin was still awake. He smiled.

"I thought you wanted to sleep…"

"Err… The sun was blazingly bright and I can't sleep now because of it!"

Sanzo chuckled under his breath as Shyirin flushed. In this kind of moments; whenever she was alone with Sanzo, she couldn't find the right words to say. She wanted to say something but shook her head after a couple of times, thinking. She could feel Sanzo's hand slipping slowly into hers.

"Tell me what's bothering you…"

"There's nothing bothering me, Sanzo…"

"You always say that when you have trouble on your mind."

"…I don't know… I was just thinking only…. It's nothing that matters anyway."

"Really? And how would you know if you don't tell me…"

"It's silly to ask this kind of questions again…"

"Silly?"

"Yes, remember the last time I asked? You laughed your heart out!"

"Yes, but it ended beautifully anyway."

Sanzo pulled Shyirin to his lap as she laid her head against his shoulder. She could feel his arms around her, wrapping tightly and warmly. They were gazing at the sunrise again.

"Sanzo… Why is there so much space between us?"

"It's not because we want it to be. Some things are inevitable. We'll have to face it."

"I see…"

"Is this your silly question?"

"In other words, yes…"

`Actually, I was going to tell him of what happened between me and Akiyoshi… but…'

"So, what happened? Who's this Akiyoshi?"

"… He's the person I was supposed to spy on. Zeltorfe's new boss."

"Ah, and I s'pose you have a good explanation of what happened between both of you?"

"How did you know?"

"Know about what?"

"About Akiyoshi trying to---"

Sanzo looked alarmed. Shyirin bit her lip.

`Uh-oh…'

"What did he try to do?"

"Nothing. It's just a slip of a…"

"Shyirin, you better be honest with me!"

"Ok… Look, I know you'll hate me after this…"

"Hate you? Just spit it out, Shyirin."

There was plain cold silence. Shyirin edged from Sanzo's lap and pulled herself against the wall. She sighed and bit her lip.

"Well, I… nearly made out with him…"

"You WHAT?!"

"It wasn't my fault! He was overpowering me! I can't just fight him back when my life was on the line…"

Sanzo kept silent. His eyes were staring at Shyirin. Shyirin hid her face from Sanzo. She wanted to run away. She felt so guilty. She was going to get up and leave when Sanzo pulled her hand back and Shyirin fell down on the floor again on where she sat.

`Oh no, Sanzo's going to kill me…'

She turned and looked at Sanzo. She felt as if guilt was written all over her face. Sanzo finally opened his mouth to say something. Shyirin was prepared for the worst.

`Here it comes…'

"…Were you hurt?"

Shyirin felt taken by surprise. His eyes looked a bit serious, yet with a little warmth in it. She staggered back and managed to breathe out a `Yes'.

"…"

"But, it's not serious, Sanzo! I'm alright! See? I'm fine…"

"…"

"Sanzo… are you angry because of me? If you are, I'll leave now."

"No… I was just worried about you."

"Sanzo…"

"…How bad did he hurt you?"

"Nothing. Just a scratch, that's all."

"…"

Sanzo didn't say a word. He turned away and stared blankly at the sunrise. Shyirin couldn't help but feel worried about Sanzo. She knew deep inside that Sanzo was little hurt and at the same time concern about her safety.

"Sanzo… You want to know something?"

"… What?"

"When Akiyoshi was overpowering me, I thought I really saw you. I heard you. I even felt you kissed my forehead. It made me realized that my life was not important if I don't have you at all… I just wanted to be with you at the same time…"

"…"

"Then, I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Even if I must cross through dangerous times or even hurt myself just to come here, I'm willing to do it… just to see you again. So, I fought back and ran away from there… just to meet you again."

Shyirin felt her tears fall down her eyes. Her cheeks were pink with so much pressure on her face. Her brown hair covered her face.

"I just wanted to see again…. If you don't want me to stay, I'll leave you now. I'm just sorry."

She choked on her last words. She knew Sanzo would never forgive her for it. Tears began to fall from her eyes to the floor. Suddenly, she felt a hand on her face, pushing away the dark matted hair and wiping her tears away. She looked up as Sanzo was kneeling before her, with his face full of concern. His vivid violet eyes stared into her eyes full of sadness as he held her hand tightly. He pulled her towards his body and caressed her hair.

"Sanzo… "

"Shyirin… I can't hate you… because I … also wanted to see you."

Shyirin felt herself crumble in his body. She wanted the whole world to disappear before her and let her die.

"Shyirin, you made me feel again. Why do you think I'll hate you?"

"Because-"

"It doesn't matter at all, Shyirin. As long as my place in your heart remains, I'll stay here by your side forever."

"Sanzo… That's so stupid."

"It is?"

"You know that your place in my heart will never change. Not ever. Believe me."

Sanzo slowly pulled Shyirin's soft peach lips towards his as their lips met. The long-lost essence of a touch they longed ago came back to life once more.

`Sanzo… You're the only one in my heart. Believe me. You're the only I think of.'

The sun rose as the birds began to chirp from far away on the other side. Skies were no longer dark grey but now were bright sunny blue. The evil was almost over. Shyirin rested herself in Sanzo's embrace. She could feel Sanzo's warmth and heart beating fast.

`How peaceful it would be if this all ends… and if it ends, I just want to be here with you… forever… just holding you forever, enclosed in this space without time moving at it's pace. If I could change this, I'd give my life just to be with you forever, Shyirin…`